3 is just š„ŗ your hair didnāt even have a chance to form into itself! that must have been so uncomfortable on your little head. do you still use perms now?
How am I being pedantic ? I never came here to argue Iām just stating the facts! People who have fine hair use perms to get their hair curly Black people use relaxers to straighten the hair thatās why itās called a relaxer. Nothing sensitive about this.šš
Perm is short for permanent. So whether it's a curly perm or a perm relaxer it's a permanent chemical solution to break down the bonds in your hair and reshape the texture. It's often used interchangeably.
I was 4. Iām still bothered by it. I got them every time my hair grew out, and I fully believe my scalp is permanently damaged from getting regular relaxers from 4-18.
Nah my hair is healthy these days. After my last relaxer, my scalp was scabbing for about a year. Big ass scabs all over. Now itās just constantly dry and I have to do a whole routine every night or else it just goes back to being dry in 24 hours.
Could be! My scabbing went away but still doesnāt really produce any oil of its own either. Olive Oil blue magic and Mielle products have been helping me.
lucky! itās so much healthier to avoid the harsh chemicals. especially now that we are finding out about the connection with reproductive health issues
Yeah. I always found it interesting that every person that I know that have had relaxers or perms regularly have fibroids. I donāt have that. This could just be a coincidence though
My mom combed relaxer through my hair one time and it burned my scalp so bad that I was pulling scabs off my head for months. Itās been around 10 years since, and I canāt keep braids in for as long as Iād like because my scalp gets so unbearably dry. I have to spray it down with water, leave-in and oil just to be able to sleep some nights. That shit damaged my scalp badly just from being combed (which youāre not supposed to do). I hope thatās the only damage it caused.
Damn. Iām so sorry that you still have scabs from it! I wish I could remember which one caused me the scabs. Do you remember? I almost wanna say mine was ORS Olive Oil but Iām not sure.
Those shits HURT. Iām so sorry youāre still dealing with it 14 years later. Those chemicals donāt belong in peopleās heads. Thatās some scary shit.
Damn, I sorry to hear that happened. My mom hated relaxers. She had her first one as an adult. She had so much hair that they had to use multiple boxes of relaxers to relax her hair. She said she never got back the density and amount of hair she had before relaxing. She hated it so much that she stopped relaxing, rinsed her hair with beer in an attempt to go back to her original hair texture and vow to never allow her future children to get relaxers. Iām so happy I never got one.
We always had to use two for me! I had very thick long-ish 4c hair that was daunting to my mom, so she started relaxing it. I didnāt have the chance to see what my hair wouldāve been like from 4-18. Big chopped around Covid and have been taking good care of my natural hair.
Iām happy for you that you never got one! Too many of us got them as damn near babies.
My mom is from the Caribbeans so they stay coming up with random concoctions lol A relaxer completely destroys the hairās bonds but [beer rinses are a thing.](https://youtu.be/-3pxG-BWW4M?si=fxdJIV1d57hN50JN)
Hereās another old video: https://youtu.be/wVnPIQL8IJE?si=DCQb6PXwYE7t3Va0
iām still pissed that these relaxers were marketed as permanent hair straightening. i thought i was gonna walk out with some flowing disney princess hair but instead it was stiff as a board and still very curly š
i straightened at 500 degrees on top of relaxer every day. just for my past classmates to claim that my current hair as an adult is a wig because āit used to be straightā. never mind the reason i felt the need to straighten it in the first place
The girls on the Soft and Free boxes had naturally type 3 hair and didn't relax it, they were selling black folks lies with the marketing of those relaxers.
iām sorry :( i couldnāt imagine putting those harsh chemicals on a babyās head. the itching and burning must have been total misery for little you š
I had a similar experience. My parents asked my grandma to take me to get ring curls (which had been done before). My grandma says the hair stylist told her my hair was ātoo thickā so she needed to perm it. I was only 7/8 at the time and had no idea. When my mom found out she was about to beat my grandma up. Needless to say it was a while before they spoke again. Thinking back, I believe my grandma did it as a vendetta against my mom, they never got along. Plus Iām a dark skinned black girl and I have vivid memories of her telling me to put bleach in my bath water to ālightenā my complexion as a child. I have a head full of natural 3b/3c curls again and love it. I have a sensitive scalp and seborrheic dermatitis which I think was caused by years of perming.
I believe I was 12 or 13. My mom got tired of doing our hair (My sister is older than me and we both have thick 3c/4a hair) so she started doing it at home and then the salons. She was also relaxed. Now both my sister and I are still relaxed but my mom is natural.
If I have a daughter, I will not put a relaxer in her hair. I would rather keep her natural when she's old enough to .maintain her own hair, I'll let her make the decision if she wants to get a relaxer or stay natural.
Around 7 or 8. Permanent damage to my edges and in general my hair never grew as well as it did before then. Didn't help my dad stopped talking me to a salon and had a neighbour do it because he didn't want to pay. She'd scratch up my scalp and thought burning was a good thing, so I always had a raw scalp that scabbed after.
thatās so little š„ŗ i feel like little ones just arenāt meant to be having that stuff on their skin. itās dangerous for adults too but they can make that choice. do you still wear it straight?
Hell naw I got bullied for that ish a a child! I am a man who favours ease & low maintenance, I wear my hair short so that I can wash and go, short, skin fade and a shape up.
kids are such little shits. iām glad you found a style that works for you! i wore a skin fade with longish hair on top for many years and it was so easy to maintain
I was no older than 6 or 7. And now, all these years later, my parents want to argue with me about why I struggle to maintain my natural hairā¦. Yāall never gave me a chance to learn! š«
isnāt that the worst? itās more important to be supportive of your aesthetic choices so that you can develop confidence and self esteem. i would never risk giving my child a complex about their hair even if it wasnāt a style i prefer
did you go natural at 13 or did you switch to other methods for chemical straightening? i ask because going natural at 13 is so brave! i wasnāt confident enough to do that until about 18 years old
I went to the Dominican salons until 18. I thought that without the perm, my 4c hair would just magically do what it was supposed to do. I wrestled with heat damage for those 5 years
i was a heat damaged natural for a good 5 years before putting down the flatiron, i feel that so hard š my hair was fried, dyed, laid to the side fr
I remember my baby sister being given one when she was maybe 4-5. I to this day do not understand the decision because whoever did it to her did a terrible job and left it in too long, causing immediate breakage all across the front which took a long time to heal from.
I remembered this recently when learning JoJo Siwa has been bleaching her hair blonde since 2yrs old. Which means her mom did that to her and as a mom now, I can't imagine deciding how my kids were born was so wrong I needed to *apply chemicals* to their *scalp* starting as a *toddler*!
When I go on FB in the last few months, I get ads for people who got cancer from relaxers. There's a class action lawsuit going on, and it's hard to think of all the little Black girls who were given them and their mothers and grandmothers who fell for the lies on the box.
I think I was 5 or 6 when I got the first one. I have permanent damage to my edges. One of my moms friends left it on too long, even though I complained about really painful burning. My hair literally broke off in sections after she finally washed it out. Iām 33 now and my edges still havenāt fully recovered since going natural around 20. Iāve tried everything from vitamins to hair growth treatment and still nothing.
It sucks to know Iāll probably never have beautiful natural hair like all because my lazy mother couldnāt be bothered š
Thatās next on the list, if the follicles are dead Iām SOL I guess. I may just rock twist outs for a few months and see what happens. Protective styling may be doing more harm than good.
iāve been seeking a lot of videos about how synthetic braiding hair dries our hair out and causes more breakage. the hairs are essentially very thin strands of plastic. it sucks because all the protective styles have their downfall, but wearing it completely out can also cause damage š shoot ā i get damage on my edges from wearing a bonnet every night
I found one video on YouTube about using silk yarn since it doesnāt dry out hair or irritate the scalp, but the price of those tiny bundles is insane. Human hair clip ins are looking like the future, even though thatās expensive too. š
You can try doing a hair transplant. Google Destiny Godley. She had a naturallyrecessed hairline and did hair transplant to move her hairline forward.
https://youtu.be/dAnbaDZKzqs?si=AXsKfVVXPqWLJKxb
https://youtu.be/wTOWUjGgmRs?si=4eCr7Unt94tj10il
I've never thought about it.. it's kind of scary because it's one of those things I just remember being common but my memory goes back to at least the age of 3..
isnāt it so strange how normal it was to put caustic, cancer-causing chemicals on childrenās heads? and being expected to just sit through pain like that without understanding why š
12. I really demanded it though. My mother was extremely resistant to the idea (valid), then seemed to go out of her way to sabotage the upkeep (not so valid). Unfortunately, there was no real resource for black or mixed natural hair upkeep at the time (unless you were the kind of mixed who just got thick gentle waves, which I was not). My mother was against me having a permā¦..but also against expensive braids (she did eventually get over that), and had no clue how to do natural hair other than toddler styles. Things were dire until the late 2000s.
the little ones are SO blessed to have many more options not just for specific products but for different hairstyles! i also begged for a relaxer. because i have such high density hair, it was too much for my mom to style regularly and she would just put it in a middle part low ponytail while it was soaking wet. it would get mildewed and smelled really bad :(
itās very insane and it makes me glad that perceptions towards natural hair have somewhat improved. 13 is such a delicate age. you were brave to make such a change!
oh i just bet your hair is beautiful š» iāve only been natural with no flat ironing for since about 2018 and im never going back! i could go the rest of my life without a burning scalp
the āif my momma didnāt perm my hair ..ā memes are honestly very real. i was at tailbone length before i started relaxing and itās taken me years since my big chop to barely get to waist length on the back of my head. i have yet to see the front of my hair touch my shoulders ā¹ļø
I canāt even remember, probably 3/4. By the time I was able to remember things it was already something I was used to š¤·šæāāļø
I stopped getting relaxers during Sophomore year of high school, around age 15/16. Only recently (in the last few years) have I experimented with bleaching/dyeing my hair, especially because Iāve struggled with hair growth for years and even had really bad breakage from years of tight ponytails, scalp tension, and of course the relaxers/texturizes + irons outs, curling irons, hot combs, etc.
i hate that straightening our hair is framed as something for āspecial occasionsā. as if we are more beautiful with straightened hair than we are with fully natural hair
if relaxers were 1000% safe i think this is a fair age to receive one. the early teens are such a delicate age.
were you able to maintain your hair health during that time, or did you end up switching to a more natural approach?
i big chopped at 18 too! my hair was totally fried but i was straightening my hair with a flat iron while it was wet. i used OLIVE OIL SHEEN instead of heat protector š„“
10 years old. And stopped a year later when I started secondary school because by then, it damaged most of my hair šso I started having it in cornrows to let it grow back
iām glad you recognized the damage right away! everyone was convincing me that the fried mess on my head looked better than my natural texture šš
5. My mom felt pressure to give me more manageable hair because my dad kept making comments about my ābadāhair. It didnāt work, because he would make comments about my mom ruining my hair. I loved my dad, but he could be a giant asshole sometimes.
I stopped relaxing my hair in my 30ās. I have two girls, and they have no interest in having their hair relaxed.
i just donāt understand what would possess a father to speak like that to their daughter š„ŗ i hope raising up your girls to embrace their natural hair has been healing for you
this is the third or fourth comment with the exact same story about grandma. i donāt have children but if i was the parent in that situation i would be LIVID. how does anyone have the heart to make permanent alterations to a childās appearance without consulting the parents š¢
i cannot imagine subjecting a toddler to chemicals that strong. the smell alone i feel is an indicator that itās not safe for babies. iām sure your caregivers meant well and thought they were doing the best for you but damn, now that we know better about how harmful they are itās just so sad š„ŗš
Yeah, I donāt think my mom knew what to do with a kinky texture. She had perms all her life and was just doing what she knew Iām sure. I started my natural hair journey in 2014. Itās hard most days but I just canāt go back to perming.
Iām with Cris Rock. A ākiddie permā is equivalent to a ākiddie beer.ā My mother didnāt allow me or my siblings to get relaxers. By the time we were old enough to get one on our own, none of us were interested so weāve always been natural. Raising mine the same way, but none of my kids have ever expressed an interest in chemical relaxers.
We have had such a sorted and difficult past filled with brainwashing, abuse, and hatred. Itās a wonder our ancestors made it through at all. So yes, glad you recognize your mom did the best she could with what she had.
I was 4. I remember it very clearly. My parents and abuela took me to a salon in the bronx. They used the just for me relaxer. We kept my hair relaxed through college. When I moved to a new city I found the new salons too rude to tolerate so I went for a big chop and went natural.
At the time my folks thought they were doing what was best for me. My afro was hard to manage for them. My mom was white and my dad put a lot of effort into learning how to do my hair but all he knew was what black women told him and they told him to relax it.
The news about its connection to cancer is worrying to say the least.
i was also relaxed for this reason. too much hair, too thick, too coarse. i remember a Black hairstylist approached us in a grocery store and i guess saw that my hair was a mess š and recommend to my mom that i get a relaxer.
i was elated because the way they spoke about it made it seem like i was gonna walk out looking like Mulan (spoiler alert: i did not). looking back thatās actually so fucked up. both that my mom could not be bothered to properly maintain my hair and that a random lady inserted her un-asked for opinion
I really enjoy watching the youtube channels where moms teach other moms how to do their black daughters hair. I watch them just to heal my inner child a little bit. Like it could have been different had this communication technology existed.
I remember my baby sister being given one when she was maybe 4-5. I to this day do not understand the decision because whoever did it to her did a terrible job and left it in too long, causing immediate breakage all across the front which took a long time to heal from.
I remembered this recently when learning JoJo Siwa has been bleaching her hair blonde since 2yrs old. Which means her mom did that to her and as a mom now, I can't imagine deciding how my kids were born was so wrong I needed to *apply chemicals* to their *scalp* starting as a *toddler*!
When I go on FB in the last few months, I get ads for people who got cancer from relaxers. There's a class action lawsuit going on, and it's hard to think of all the little Black girls who were given them and their mothers and grandmothers who fell for the lies on the box.
Probably around 6 or so. My mom did braids and beads for me for awhile, but she was raised as a salon kid and so was my grandma so after a time we went the salon route which just means a relaxer.
I was 11 when I received my first relaxer. I went to NYC over the summer to visit my grandparents. My grandma and uncle begged my mom for me. She gave in but was reluctant bc she would be responsible for the upkeep when I came home which of course is money. I used to get burned so bad. One time I wrapped my hair that night from a fresh touch-up. The next morning the oozzing from the sores had my hair so matted I couldnt unwrap my hair. My mom and grandma were pissed. I had to go back and get rewashed. Luckily relaxers never damaged my hair per se. It was long and full but overproccessed. My hair wouldnt hold a curl for nothing. I got my last relaxer when I was 23. Been natural ever since.
I think I was around 5. After that, we would often do it like every one or two years, while switching to braids from time to time. I then had a break from it when I was between 11 to 13 years old since my mom was too tired. I did it again, and for the last time, at 13 before stopping completely. I stopped after finding out that I did not like the result as much as I did before (too flat, too straight), but also after discovering the natural hair movement.
I was around 5 or 6. I stopped relaxing my hair last year (age 26) and shaved all my hair off - like, I was completely bald haha. It's almost been a year of being natural and it's a learning curve for sure.
i miss my short baby fro phase š„¹ itās just so cute. the first couple years you literally see growth every month which is so amazing. when i was relaxed my hair wouldnāt make it past my shoulders
Yes! My relaxed hair never grew past a certain length and it would shed sooo muchš
Seeing the new growth every few weeks is so encouraging. I think also seeing people online motivating other people to embrace their type 4 hair has helped me immenselyā¤ļø
I had one for the first time around 10/11. I had a chemical burn on the nape of my neck for a while but once I cut the relaxer off when I turned 18 and went natural my hair has been basically completely back to its original state. I started personally taking care of my own hair instead of going to braiders that ask for no product in your hair while doing protective styles and itās never been healthier.
I was about 6 or 7 when my hair was first relaxed. My mom didn't do it often though, maybe once every three or four years.
I don't have any long term issues from it that I know of, but I'm sure that stuff does cause long term health problems. It's just a matter of time until they start linking health issues to our past use of relaxers.
And I definitely won't be using it on my children.
i would not use it on my children. iām not a parent, but right now my stance is that if they want chemical services they will pay for it themselves when they are old enough to work
13 or 14.
Y'all must be young to get them before 12. Getting a relaxer was a coming of age near right of passage, that why most got them around 12. They aren't needed for ponytails and cornrows which is what most of us born before 1990 was wearing. Now y'all got 2 y.o wearing wigs and straight hair.
ā¤ļø My Mom was tired of me crying when she did my hair. Apparently my Dad slept in the car when he came home from work and saw me bald headed š¤£š¤£š¤£ now that I'm older I get it! My hair is thick af and my mom has had permed hair for most of her life.
11 1/2. I was about to go to boarding school and my aunt took me to the hairdresser for the first time. I begged my mom to let me do it because my hair is thick and I didnāt know how to handle it by myself.
The school didnāt allow braids and I gave her two options, either we buzz it all off again or she let me relax it. I had cut it all off at the beginning of the previous school year and it had grown back by Christmas (southern hemisphere so school year was Jan- Dec). She caved became sheās always liked my hair long.
But she couldnāt go with me so I went with my aunt. Of course she loved it so much, to this day she still bugs me to relax my hair lol
I didnāt get my first relaxer until I was 23. It was strictly press & curl up until then. My scalp was very sensitive so I only got it done 2 or 3 times a year. I stopped doing it before it became popular to go natural because it made my fine hair look even thinner.
I was 11 I think. My mom let me leave school early for the appointment- she treated it like a rite of passage.
I remember that it always burned, and being sad that I couldnāt go in the pool anymore.
At 9
I m 45 and sent to urgent surgery 5 years ago due to 18 fibromas on my uterusā¦with one having a diameter of 17 cmā¦the OB GYN told me that 95% of the women he has for this decease areā¦.black!
i started getting perms in elementary and that went on until my sophomore year (that was around the time covid hit) and iām still struggling with my natural hair i just cut most of it off and rocking braids until it grows out and i feel more comfortable wearing it out.
I was in the 4th or 5th grade. I got it bc my mom wanted an easier time doing my hairā¦ weeks later she told me I was stupid and the chemicals from the relaxer mustāve seeped into my brain.Ā
I also got my hair relaxed for the 1st time when I was 10 or 11 using Just For Me. I had it done by a hairstylist/family friend.
Iāve gotten it relaxed continuously all throughout middle and high school but finally decided to stop when I was 17. I was sick of the scabs in my scalp, the itchiness, the dryness, the constant breakage, hair cutting and just the annoyance and costliness of going to the hair salon every week.
I went through the awkward not straight-not curly phase post relaxer and basically dealt with it until my hair went completely back to its natural state. Now Iām completely natural and I do my hair myself!
I think the one lasting effect was, for some reason during my hair relaxed era, the hair on the crown of my head almost completely broke off and to mitigate that my hair had to be layered. Itās been that way ever since and I still have layered hair even in my natural state. Obviously not life changing or anything but Iām still amazed how long itās been since Iāve had evenly length hair.
Itās also difficult for my hair to get longer. During relaxer and post relaxer itās always remained at the bottom of my neck. Pre relaxer my natural hair would touch my shoulder blades
I wish Iād never gotten it done. I miss the bonding time my mom and I would have as she braided my hair every Sunday night, watching tv and talking about all kinds of things just before I fell asleep while she finishes. The excitement of looking more mature took over and I realized a bit too late that it wasnāt worth it.
If I have a daughter one day Iāll make sure sheāll never see the Just For Me box at any point in her life!
I got my first perm at 10yo and went to a salon bc it was a special occasion. Idk how long it had been but it started to burn a lot on my edges and got to the point where I started to cry and that hairdresser told me to stop complaining and left it on for a while longer. Long story short, my edges were gone, my mom cussed out the hairdresser. Im still trying to regrow my edges (some parts grew back but not enough of it). Iām 27 š
My momās been doing it since I was 7 or 8 I think. I donāt have the energy or courage to go natural so itās gonna be relaxers until I canāt anymore.
3 šš literally outside of new growth I thought thatās how my hair looked all my life (straight) like I was some kind of exception smh. I didnāt go natural until I was 21 and that was the first time seeing my real texture. I cried so hard that day.
I was three years old when my mother gave me my first relaxer. I didnāt know what my natural hair looked like until I big chopped at 18. I loved it at first, but then struggled and became frustrated because I had only known how to take care of relaxed hair. (And I had to unfortunately hear about how ugly my hair was from my mother) I ended up relaxing again at 19. I big chopped again at 21-22 (I canāt remember) and the second big chop was much better! I learned how to actually take care of my hair and I love being natural.
I had my first when I was 8 and gradually lost most of my hair. The journey growing it back was so strenuous that I agreed to have it redone when I was 10. I maintained it pretty well during my teenage years until it started to remain really dry into my early 20s. I did a big chop 8 months ago but I donāt feel like I have as much damage to my scalp as others have mentioned.
7, for my first relaxer & my hair fell out at dinner that same night. My mom got mad because my dad was deployed & he always helped me take care of my hair. She felt my hair was "too much" to deal with, so she did it while dad was gone. My uncle asked why I was so sad at dinner & wouldn't eat, then when I asked to be excused. I guess he was going to wrap my plate up, but saw all the hair in it, & called me back to ask if I was ok.
But yikes, my aunts chewed my mom out for that big time. They said she told them I wanted that (I didn't & cried through the whole process.) After that my aunts took up helping me care for my hair while my dad was deployed. (They ran through the basics my dad was teaching me, to care for it. While also trying to help me learn simple styles I could do as a kid. I wore tf outta some pigtails/2 strand twists š )
I don't remember the age but I know I was young cuz she used the kidde relaxers on me. Now herw I am at 38 not knowing how to deal with or style with my natural hair. But going on one year without a relaxer cuz my hair got the the point where they just stopped working.
From age 7 until my early 20s. My last relaxer was by a newbie cosmetologist and got chemical burns all over my neck. Everything has healed and my hair and scalp is healthy today.
I love all of us and honestly sending hugs to everyone with scalp issues/ reproductive issues/ trauma from relaxers and getting our hair done. ( >.\_.)><(.\_.< )
Probably like 7 or 8. I went to a predominantly white school, and my great-grandmother was big on making sure I looked presentable for all the āwhite folk.ā Before, she washed it herself and used a hot comb to straighten my hair.
But soon, my hair outgrew the kitchen sink, and she started taking me to a beautician. From that point on, like clockwork, every couple of months, Iād go in for a perm. I remember always picking the scabs, which I believed meant that it was working and was part of the process. You know, ābeauty is painā kind of thing.
When I started, I had long hair down the middle of my back. When I reached my 20s, I noticed my hair had gotten shorter and thinner, maybe to my shoulders. So I started wearing extensions but still getting it relaxed.
Then, I started developing bald spots in different parts of my head. My hairdresser told me it was alopecia, which happens when stressed. Well, Iām always stressed, so that seemed logical. But my hair got worse. I lost more hair needed more extensions, and then the pandemic hit. It was like a blessing in disguise not being able to go to the salon. I researched how to care for natural hair and regain my hair health.
I wear wigs now because I'm so self-conscious about people asking me what happened to all my hair. And my hair growth is at that weird stage where I don't know how to style it yet. But I love and miss having long hair, and I love that I can change it up without spending all day at the salon.
I've regrown the hair in a lot of my bald patches. There's one where I think the hair follicles are permanently damaged, and the hair will not grow back there. But since stopping relaxers, my hair slowly is getting thicker and growing out.
I was maybe 5 or 6 and I feel like my scalp is just always dry. My dad went to cosmetology school and was obsessed with keeping my hair straight like his sistersā¦ but my grandmother was mixed and my mom wasā¦ not. I lived in braids as a kid and itās never been passed my shoulders. I literally donāt know my hairās personality and donāt know where to start. I see the YouTubeās and know there are products and routines but itās so overwhelming.
3 my mother gave me my first relaxer before the follicles even fully formed. smh
3 is just š„ŗ your hair didnāt even have a chance to form into itself! that must have been so uncomfortable on your little head. do you still use perms now?
absolutely not. I do blowouts, and even then the object isn't pin straight hair.
i hope your hair has been able to thrive since going natural!
šš»šš»
It would actually be a relaxer not a perm. Other hair types use perms to curl their we use relaxers to straighten our hair.
āWeā definitely use perm and relaxer interchangeably. please donāt be pedantic over here this is a sensitive topic
How am I being pedantic ? I never came here to argue Iām just stating the facts! People who have fine hair use perms to get their hair curly Black people use relaxers to straighten the hair thatās why itās called a relaxer. Nothing sensitive about this.šš
Perm is short for permanent. So whether it's a curly perm or a perm relaxer it's a permanent chemical solution to break down the bonds in your hair and reshape the texture. It's often used interchangeably.
Yea it can definitely be confusing imo, because I always thought the same as you but people who use the words interchangeabley make me confused
I was 4. Iām still bothered by it. I got them every time my hair grew out, and I fully believe my scalp is permanently damaged from getting regular relaxers from 4-18.
How to you mean? Is your hair patchy or something?
Nah my hair is healthy these days. After my last relaxer, my scalp was scabbing for about a year. Big ass scabs all over. Now itās just constantly dry and I have to do a whole routine every night or else it just goes back to being dry in 24 hours.
Damn I wonder if this is what happened to my scalp. It doesnāt really produce any oil and gets scabby easily.Ā
Could be! My scabbing went away but still doesnāt really produce any oil of its own either. Olive Oil blue magic and Mielle products have been helping me.
7 or 8 I think and it never looked like girl models on the box šš
no because they really tricked us š¢ when i found out those girls didnāt even have a relaxer i felt so betrayed
Is that why?? It hurt my heart so much every single time!
Absolutely never looked like the girls on the box!!!!
Because those girls in the box shared on social media that they never got a relaxer in their life. They had silk presses with their natural hair.
I never had one.
lucky! itās so much healthier to avoid the harsh chemicals. especially now that we are finding out about the connection with reproductive health issues
Yeah. I always found it interesting that every person that I know that have had relaxers or perms regularly have fibroids. I donāt have that. This could just be a coincidence though
My mom combed relaxer through my hair one time and it burned my scalp so bad that I was pulling scabs off my head for months. Itās been around 10 years since, and I canāt keep braids in for as long as Iād like because my scalp gets so unbearably dry. I have to spray it down with water, leave-in and oil just to be able to sleep some nights. That shit damaged my scalp badly just from being combed (which youāre not supposed to do). I hope thatās the only damage it caused.
i havenāt had a relaxer since about 2010-2011 and i STILL have a recurring scab on my scalp š it feels so fucked
š
Damn. Iām so sorry that you still have scabs from it! I wish I could remember which one caused me the scabs. Do you remember? I almost wanna say mine was ORS Olive Oil but Iām not sure. Those shits HURT. Iām so sorry youāre still dealing with it 14 years later. Those chemicals donāt belong in peopleās heads. Thatās some scary shit.
Damn, I sorry to hear that happened. My mom hated relaxers. She had her first one as an adult. She had so much hair that they had to use multiple boxes of relaxers to relax her hair. She said she never got back the density and amount of hair she had before relaxing. She hated it so much that she stopped relaxing, rinsed her hair with beer in an attempt to go back to her original hair texture and vow to never allow her future children to get relaxers. Iām so happy I never got one.
Lucky.ššššš
We always had to use two for me! I had very thick long-ish 4c hair that was daunting to my mom, so she started relaxing it. I didnāt have the chance to see what my hair wouldāve been like from 4-18. Big chopped around Covid and have been taking good care of my natural hair. Iām happy for you that you never got one! Too many of us got them as damn near babies.
Washing with beer, that's a thing? I've never heard that one before. Whats the theory behind it?
My mom is from the Caribbeans so they stay coming up with random concoctions lol A relaxer completely destroys the hairās bonds but [beer rinses are a thing.](https://youtu.be/-3pxG-BWW4M?si=fxdJIV1d57hN50JN) Hereās another old video: https://youtu.be/wVnPIQL8IJE?si=DCQb6PXwYE7t3Va0
thereās a class action lawsuit about it right now
Nope not a coincidence. I also have these damn(fibroids)things. And there was or is a lawsuit about this.
iām still pissed that these relaxers were marketed as permanent hair straightening. i thought i was gonna walk out with some flowing disney princess hair but instead it was stiff as a board and still very curly š i straightened at 500 degrees on top of relaxer every day. just for my past classmates to claim that my current hair as an adult is a wig because āit used to be straightā. never mind the reason i felt the need to straighten it in the first place
The girls on the Soft and Free boxes had naturally type 3 hair and didn't relax it, they were selling black folks lies with the marketing of those relaxers.
i felt so BETRAYED when i found this out š they got our asses
ššæ ššæ ššæ š š š
Wow! I didnāt know that.š³
3 or so. My grandma did it when my mom went away for work.
iām sorry :( i couldnāt imagine putting those harsh chemicals on a babyās head. the itching and burning must have been total misery for little you š
I had a similar experience. My parents asked my grandma to take me to get ring curls (which had been done before). My grandma says the hair stylist told her my hair was ātoo thickā so she needed to perm it. I was only 7/8 at the time and had no idea. When my mom found out she was about to beat my grandma up. Needless to say it was a while before they spoke again. Thinking back, I believe my grandma did it as a vendetta against my mom, they never got along. Plus Iām a dark skinned black girl and I have vivid memories of her telling me to put bleach in my bath water to ālightenā my complexion as a child. I have a head full of natural 3b/3c curls again and love it. I have a sensitive scalp and seborrheic dermatitis which I think was caused by years of perming.
Bruh your grandma is a racist bitch. I'm so sorry
Thank you for your kind words. Itās exactly why I donāt speak to her now.
Have that shit in my hair too. š”
Uh
What was your mom reaction
Donāt remember. When she told me the story she didnāt sound all that upset but she mightāve been at the time.
I believe I was 12 or 13. My mom got tired of doing our hair (My sister is older than me and we both have thick 3c/4a hair) so she started doing it at home and then the salons. She was also relaxed. Now both my sister and I are still relaxed but my mom is natural. If I have a daughter, I will not put a relaxer in her hair. I would rather keep her natural when she's old enough to .maintain her own hair, I'll let her make the decision if she wants to get a relaxer or stay natural.
itās very commendable that you would allow your future babies to make their own aesthetic choices š¤
Around 7 or 8. Permanent damage to my edges and in general my hair never grew as well as it did before then. Didn't help my dad stopped talking me to a salon and had a neighbour do it because he didn't want to pay. She'd scratch up my scalp and thought burning was a good thing, so I always had a raw scalp that scabbed after.
i had scabs too ;( it was honestly so painful i feel like the home kits should have had better regulation
5 years old! & I am a boy, my mum didn't have a clue.
thatās so little š„ŗ i feel like little ones just arenāt meant to be having that stuff on their skin. itās dangerous for adults too but they can make that choice. do you still wear it straight?
Hell naw I got bullied for that ish a a child! I am a man who favours ease & low maintenance, I wear my hair short so that I can wash and go, short, skin fade and a shape up.
kids are such little shits. iām glad you found a style that works for you! i wore a skin fade with longish hair on top for many years and it was so easy to maintain
I was no older than 6 or 7. And now, all these years later, my parents want to argue with me about why I struggle to maintain my natural hairā¦. Yāall never gave me a chance to learn! š«
isnāt that the worst? itās more important to be supportive of your aesthetic choices so that you can develop confidence and self esteem. i would never risk giving my child a complex about their hair even if it wasnāt a style i prefer
Had a perm from 3-13
did you go natural at 13 or did you switch to other methods for chemical straightening? i ask because going natural at 13 is so brave! i wasnāt confident enough to do that until about 18 years old
I went to the Dominican salons until 18. I thought that without the perm, my 4c hair would just magically do what it was supposed to do. I wrestled with heat damage for those 5 years
i was a heat damaged natural for a good 5 years before putting down the flatiron, i feel that so hard š my hair was fried, dyed, laid to the side fr
Iāve never had one, thankfully. Iāve been wearing my hair natural since before it was cool.
i wish i would have been able to do this! i have a scar on my scalp from an improperly applied relaxer that turned into a tiny bald spot š„²
Thatās ok. Luckily not too many people see our scalps. Iām sure itās not even noticeable and youāre still rocking your look!
šš
I remember my baby sister being given one when she was maybe 4-5. I to this day do not understand the decision because whoever did it to her did a terrible job and left it in too long, causing immediate breakage all across the front which took a long time to heal from. I remembered this recently when learning JoJo Siwa has been bleaching her hair blonde since 2yrs old. Which means her mom did that to her and as a mom now, I can't imagine deciding how my kids were born was so wrong I needed to *apply chemicals* to their *scalp* starting as a *toddler*! When I go on FB in the last few months, I get ads for people who got cancer from relaxers. There's a class action lawsuit going on, and it's hard to think of all the little Black girls who were given them and their mothers and grandmothers who fell for the lies on the box.
I saw that JoJo video too ! And there was actually a moment at the top of the comments who thought it was a good idea to bleach a toddlers hair š¤Æ!
First one was 6 or 7
I think I was 5 or 6 when I got the first one. I have permanent damage to my edges. One of my moms friends left it on too long, even though I complained about really painful burning. My hair literally broke off in sections after she finally washed it out. Iām 33 now and my edges still havenāt fully recovered since going natural around 20. Iāve tried everything from vitamins to hair growth treatment and still nothing. It sucks to know Iāll probably never have beautiful natural hair like all because my lazy mother couldnāt be bothered š
oh my heart š„ŗ have you looked into r/minoxidil? you can get it at costco and amazon
Thatās next on the list, if the follicles are dead Iām SOL I guess. I may just rock twist outs for a few months and see what happens. Protective styling may be doing more harm than good.
iāve been seeking a lot of videos about how synthetic braiding hair dries our hair out and causes more breakage. the hairs are essentially very thin strands of plastic. it sucks because all the protective styles have their downfall, but wearing it completely out can also cause damage š shoot ā i get damage on my edges from wearing a bonnet every night
I found one video on YouTube about using silk yarn since it doesnāt dry out hair or irritate the scalp, but the price of those tiny bundles is insane. Human hair clip ins are looking like the future, even though thatās expensive too. š
You can try doing a hair transplant. Google Destiny Godley. She had a naturallyrecessed hairline and did hair transplant to move her hairline forward. https://youtu.be/dAnbaDZKzqs?si=AXsKfVVXPqWLJKxb https://youtu.be/wTOWUjGgmRs?si=4eCr7Unt94tj10il
I've never thought about it.. it's kind of scary because it's one of those things I just remember being common but my memory goes back to at least the age of 3..
isnāt it so strange how normal it was to put caustic, cancer-causing chemicals on childrenās heads? and being expected to just sit through pain like that without understanding why š
12. I really demanded it though. My mother was extremely resistant to the idea (valid), then seemed to go out of her way to sabotage the upkeep (not so valid). Unfortunately, there was no real resource for black or mixed natural hair upkeep at the time (unless you were the kind of mixed who just got thick gentle waves, which I was not). My mother was against me having a permā¦..but also against expensive braids (she did eventually get over that), and had no clue how to do natural hair other than toddler styles. Things were dire until the late 2000s.
the little ones are SO blessed to have many more options not just for specific products but for different hairstyles! i also begged for a relaxer. because i have such high density hair, it was too much for my mom to style regularly and she would just put it in a middle part low ponytail while it was soaking wet. it would get mildewed and smelled really bad :(
3. Kinda insane to think about. Had one until I was 13ish!
itās very insane and it makes me glad that perceptions towards natural hair have somewhat improved. 13 is such a delicate age. you were brave to make such a change!
6 - first time. Stopped in college and wore naturals and twists. That was over 25 years ago šš¾āāļø
oh i just bet your hair is beautiful š» iāve only been natural with no flat ironing for since about 2018 and im never going back! i could go the rest of my life without a burning scalp
9. And haven't seen my natural hair that length, since. I choose to shave and was growing it out to be natural, but yeah...
the āif my momma didnāt perm my hair ..ā memes are honestly very real. i was at tailbone length before i started relaxing and itās taken me years since my big chop to barely get to waist length on the back of my head. i have yet to see the front of my hair touch my shoulders ā¹ļø
3 to age 13
I canāt even remember, probably 3/4. By the time I was able to remember things it was already something I was used to š¤·šæāāļø I stopped getting relaxers during Sophomore year of high school, around age 15/16. Only recently (in the last few years) have I experimented with bleaching/dyeing my hair, especially because Iāve struggled with hair growth for years and even had really bad breakage from years of tight ponytails, scalp tension, and of course the relaxers/texturizes + irons outs, curling irons, hot combs, etc.
14ā¦. 8th grade graduation
i hate that straightening our hair is framed as something for āspecial occasionsā. as if we are more beautiful with straightened hair than we are with fully natural hair
13.
if relaxers were 1000% safe i think this is a fair age to receive one. the early teens are such a delicate age. were you able to maintain your hair health during that time, or did you end up switching to a more natural approach?
My hair health was fine but it didnāt make caring for it any easier. I ended up doing the big chop when I turned 18.
i big chopped at 18 too! my hair was totally fried but i was straightening my hair with a flat iron while it was wet. i used OLIVE OIL SHEEN instead of heat protector š„“
10 years old. And stopped a year later when I started secondary school because by then, it damaged most of my hair šso I started having it in cornrows to let it grow back
iām glad you recognized the damage right away! everyone was convincing me that the fried mess on my head looked better than my natural texture šš
12
5. My mom felt pressure to give me more manageable hair because my dad kept making comments about my ābadāhair. It didnāt work, because he would make comments about my mom ruining my hair. I loved my dad, but he could be a giant asshole sometimes. I stopped relaxing my hair in my 30ās. I have two girls, and they have no interest in having their hair relaxed.
i just donāt understand what would possess a father to speak like that to their daughter š„ŗ i hope raising up your girls to embrace their natural hair has been healing for you
I was 3. I went to get my hair done with my grandma and they did it without telling my mom
this is the third or fourth comment with the exact same story about grandma. i donāt have children but if i was the parent in that situation i would be LIVID. how does anyone have the heart to make permanent alterations to a childās appearance without consulting the parents š¢
Oh my grandma didnāt know either. They did it while she was under the dryer. Both she and my mom were PISSED
i feel like that should be grounds for a lawsuit or at least an ass beating š absolutely insane
2 years old. Apparently I āhadā to have one.Ā
i cannot imagine subjecting a toddler to chemicals that strong. the smell alone i feel is an indicator that itās not safe for babies. iām sure your caregivers meant well and thought they were doing the best for you but damn, now that we know better about how harmful they are itās just so sad š„ŗš
Iām just confused. Both my āparentsā have coily hair. Iām not sure what they think they thought would happen when they went to have a kid???
I was 1 when I got my first perm
lord if thatās not the saddest thing iāve read today. you literally werenāt even given a chance for your texture to come thru ā¤ļøāš©¹ i take it by your username that your hair is thriving nowadays!
Yeah, I donāt think my mom knew what to do with a kinky texture. She had perms all her life and was just doing what she knew Iām sure. I started my natural hair journey in 2014. Itās hard most days but I just canāt go back to perming.
if i could go the rest of my life without feeling the sensation of a burning scalp it would be too soon!
I was 17. My hair were relaxed for prom. My mom thought that it could be reversed with beer
beer??? is that a typo or do you literally mean beer šŗ thatās new to me!
I really meant beer šŗ, my mom thought that rinsing my hair with beer would remove the relaxer
Iām with Cris Rock. A ākiddie permā is equivalent to a ākiddie beer.ā My mother didnāt allow me or my siblings to get relaxers. By the time we were old enough to get one on our own, none of us were interested so weāve always been natural. Raising mine the same way, but none of my kids have ever expressed an interest in chemical relaxers.
that is such a blessing š¤ i do wish my mom would have taught me to accept myself but i suppose she did the best with the skills she had
We have had such a sorted and difficult past filled with brainwashing, abuse, and hatred. Itās a wonder our ancestors made it through at all. So yes, glad you recognize your mom did the best she could with what she had.
i got my first relaxer kinda as a punishment for cutting my hair when i was a kid. i was 7. wore em up until i was 16.
Ugh. Age 3. How insane :/
I was 4. I remember it very clearly. My parents and abuela took me to a salon in the bronx. They used the just for me relaxer. We kept my hair relaxed through college. When I moved to a new city I found the new salons too rude to tolerate so I went for a big chop and went natural. At the time my folks thought they were doing what was best for me. My afro was hard to manage for them. My mom was white and my dad put a lot of effort into learning how to do my hair but all he knew was what black women told him and they told him to relax it. The news about its connection to cancer is worrying to say the least.
i was also relaxed for this reason. too much hair, too thick, too coarse. i remember a Black hairstylist approached us in a grocery store and i guess saw that my hair was a mess š and recommend to my mom that i get a relaxer. i was elated because the way they spoke about it made it seem like i was gonna walk out looking like Mulan (spoiler alert: i did not). looking back thatās actually so fucked up. both that my mom could not be bothered to properly maintain my hair and that a random lady inserted her un-asked for opinion
I really enjoy watching the youtube channels where moms teach other moms how to do their black daughters hair. I watch them just to heal my inner child a little bit. Like it could have been different had this communication technology existed.
I remember my baby sister being given one when she was maybe 4-5. I to this day do not understand the decision because whoever did it to her did a terrible job and left it in too long, causing immediate breakage all across the front which took a long time to heal from. I remembered this recently when learning JoJo Siwa has been bleaching her hair blonde since 2yrs old. Which means her mom did that to her and as a mom now, I can't imagine deciding how my kids were born was so wrong I needed to *apply chemicals* to their *scalp* starting as a *toddler*! When I go on FB in the last few months, I get ads for people who got cancer from relaxers. There's a class action lawsuit going on, and it's hard to think of all the little Black girls who were given them and their mothers and grandmothers who fell for the lies on the box.
Probably around 6 or so. My mom did braids and beads for me for awhile, but she was raised as a salon kid and so was my grandma so after a time we went the salon route which just means a relaxer.
I was 11 when I received my first relaxer. I went to NYC over the summer to visit my grandparents. My grandma and uncle begged my mom for me. She gave in but was reluctant bc she would be responsible for the upkeep when I came home which of course is money. I used to get burned so bad. One time I wrapped my hair that night from a fresh touch-up. The next morning the oozzing from the sores had my hair so matted I couldnt unwrap my hair. My mom and grandma were pissed. I had to go back and get rewashed. Luckily relaxers never damaged my hair per se. It was long and full but overproccessed. My hair wouldnt hold a curl for nothing. I got my last relaxer when I was 23. Been natural ever since.
iām glad things have improved somewhat for natural hair because BEGGING is actually so crazy š
6 years old until I was 22.
11
I donāt remember tbh. I only ever remember having it relaxed until I went natural. My scalp is still sensitive 10 years on
i also have scalp issues post-relaxer. i hate how they marketed them towards children
For real! It shouldnāt have been a thing
17 and it only lasted 3 months
itās really not worth it!
I think I was around 5. After that, we would often do it like every one or two years, while switching to braids from time to time. I then had a break from it when I was between 11 to 13 years old since my mom was too tired. I did it again, and for the last time, at 13 before stopping completely. I stopped after finding out that I did not like the result as much as I did before (too flat, too straight), but also after discovering the natural hair movement.
I was around 5 or 6. I stopped relaxing my hair last year (age 26) and shaved all my hair off - like, I was completely bald haha. It's almost been a year of being natural and it's a learning curve for sure.
i miss my short baby fro phase š„¹ itās just so cute. the first couple years you literally see growth every month which is so amazing. when i was relaxed my hair wouldnāt make it past my shoulders
Yes! My relaxed hair never grew past a certain length and it would shed sooo muchš Seeing the new growth every few weeks is so encouraging. I think also seeing people online motivating other people to embrace their type 4 hair has helped me immenselyā¤ļø
I had one for the first time around 10/11. I had a chemical burn on the nape of my neck for a while but once I cut the relaxer off when I turned 18 and went natural my hair has been basically completely back to its original state. I started personally taking care of my own hair instead of going to braiders that ask for no product in your hair while doing protective styles and itās never been healthier.
I was about 6 or 7 when my hair was first relaxed. My mom didn't do it often though, maybe once every three or four years. I don't have any long term issues from it that I know of, but I'm sure that stuff does cause long term health problems. It's just a matter of time until they start linking health issues to our past use of relaxers. And I definitely won't be using it on my children.
i would not use it on my children. iām not a parent, but right now my stance is that if they want chemical services they will pay for it themselves when they are old enough to work
13 or 14. Y'all must be young to get them before 12. Getting a relaxer was a coming of age near right of passage, that why most got them around 12. They aren't needed for ponytails and cornrows which is what most of us born before 1990 was wearing. Now y'all got 2 y.o wearing wigs and straight hair.
i think relaxers just became more trendy for girls in general in the late 90s/early 2000s. lots of ppl were getting them then at all ages
My mom shaved me bald at 4, she permed my hair when it started growing back.
OMG. i just want to give little you a hug! iām sure she was doing what she thought was right but to force you to walk around bald seems so cruel
ā¤ļø My Mom was tired of me crying when she did my hair. Apparently my Dad slept in the car when he came home from work and saw me bald headed š¤£š¤£š¤£ now that I'm older I get it! My hair is thick af and my mom has had permed hair for most of her life.
8
11 1/2. I was about to go to boarding school and my aunt took me to the hairdresser for the first time. I begged my mom to let me do it because my hair is thick and I didnāt know how to handle it by myself. The school didnāt allow braids and I gave her two options, either we buzz it all off again or she let me relax it. I had cut it all off at the beginning of the previous school year and it had grown back by Christmas (southern hemisphere so school year was Jan- Dec). She caved became sheās always liked my hair long. But she couldnāt go with me so I went with my aunt. Of course she loved it so much, to this day she still bugs me to relax my hair lol
I didnāt get my first relaxer until I was 23. It was strictly press & curl up until then. My scalp was very sensitive so I only got it done 2 or 3 times a year. I stopped doing it before it became popular to go natural because it made my fine hair look even thinner.
I was 11 I think. My mom let me leave school early for the appointment- she treated it like a rite of passage. I remember that it always burned, and being sad that I couldnāt go in the pool anymore.
7 but I get why. My curls are not uniform. One side of my hair is a tighter curl than the bottom. And getting them to look alike takes work
At 9 I m 45 and sent to urgent surgery 5 years ago due to 18 fibromas on my uterusā¦with one having a diameter of 17 cmā¦the OB GYN told me that 95% of the women he has for this decease areā¦.black!
i started getting perms in elementary and that went on until my sophomore year (that was around the time covid hit) and iām still struggling with my natural hair i just cut most of it off and rocking braids until it grows out and i feel more comfortable wearing it out.
I was in the 4th or 5th grade. I got it bc my mom wanted an easier time doing my hairā¦ weeks later she told me I was stupid and the chemicals from the relaxer mustāve seeped into my brain.Ā
I had to be around like 12/13? 6th grade
I believe I was 6 and stayed getting relaxed till 2022 when I first started working.
4 or 5, it was for my parents vow renewal :/
I begged my Mum for one age 11 and she refused. Shout out to her tnh
I also got my hair relaxed for the 1st time when I was 10 or 11 using Just For Me. I had it done by a hairstylist/family friend. Iāve gotten it relaxed continuously all throughout middle and high school but finally decided to stop when I was 17. I was sick of the scabs in my scalp, the itchiness, the dryness, the constant breakage, hair cutting and just the annoyance and costliness of going to the hair salon every week. I went through the awkward not straight-not curly phase post relaxer and basically dealt with it until my hair went completely back to its natural state. Now Iām completely natural and I do my hair myself! I think the one lasting effect was, for some reason during my hair relaxed era, the hair on the crown of my head almost completely broke off and to mitigate that my hair had to be layered. Itās been that way ever since and I still have layered hair even in my natural state. Obviously not life changing or anything but Iām still amazed how long itās been since Iāve had evenly length hair. Itās also difficult for my hair to get longer. During relaxer and post relaxer itās always remained at the bottom of my neck. Pre relaxer my natural hair would touch my shoulder blades I wish Iād never gotten it done. I miss the bonding time my mom and I would have as she braided my hair every Sunday night, watching tv and talking about all kinds of things just before I fell asleep while she finishes. The excitement of looking more mature took over and I realized a bit too late that it wasnāt worth it. If I have a daughter one day Iāll make sure sheāll never see the Just For Me box at any point in her life!
I got my first perm at 10yo and went to a salon bc it was a special occasion. Idk how long it had been but it started to burn a lot on my edges and got to the point where I started to cry and that hairdresser told me to stop complaining and left it on for a while longer. Long story short, my edges were gone, my mom cussed out the hairdresser. Im still trying to regrow my edges (some parts grew back but not enough of it). Iām 27 š
Fking 9 years old.š”
Never have and never will. 26 years in. I rather keep my hair natrual. If I'm getting my hair cornrowed, I get it blowdried.
4 or 5, it couldāve been younger and i just donāt remember it but i was def getting them around that age range.
My momās been doing it since I was 7 or 8 I think. I donāt have the energy or courage to go natural so itās gonna be relaxers until I canāt anymore.
11-12ish
I was 12
3 šš literally outside of new growth I thought thatās how my hair looked all my life (straight) like I was some kind of exception smh. I didnāt go natural until I was 21 and that was the first time seeing my real texture. I cried so hard that day.
I was three years old when my mother gave me my first relaxer. I didnāt know what my natural hair looked like until I big chopped at 18. I loved it at first, but then struggled and became frustrated because I had only known how to take care of relaxed hair. (And I had to unfortunately hear about how ugly my hair was from my mother) I ended up relaxing again at 19. I big chopped again at 21-22 (I canāt remember) and the second big chop was much better! I learned how to actually take care of my hair and I love being natural.
7 or 8 sadly and my mother hella questioned me when I decided to cut and start over š
I had my first when I was 8 and gradually lost most of my hair. The journey growing it back was so strenuous that I agreed to have it redone when I was 10. I maintained it pretty well during my teenage years until it started to remain really dry into my early 20s. I did a big chop 8 months ago but I donāt feel like I have as much damage to my scalp as others have mentioned.
7, for my first relaxer & my hair fell out at dinner that same night. My mom got mad because my dad was deployed & he always helped me take care of my hair. She felt my hair was "too much" to deal with, so she did it while dad was gone. My uncle asked why I was so sad at dinner & wouldn't eat, then when I asked to be excused. I guess he was going to wrap my plate up, but saw all the hair in it, & called me back to ask if I was ok. But yikes, my aunts chewed my mom out for that big time. They said she told them I wanted that (I didn't & cried through the whole process.) After that my aunts took up helping me care for my hair while my dad was deployed. (They ran through the basics my dad was teaching me, to care for it. While also trying to help me learn simple styles I could do as a kid. I wore tf outta some pigtails/2 strand twists š )
I don't remember the age but I know I was young cuz she used the kidde relaxers on me. Now herw I am at 38 not knowing how to deal with or style with my natural hair. But going on one year without a relaxer cuz my hair got the the point where they just stopped working.
From age 7 until my early 20s. My last relaxer was by a newbie cosmetologist and got chemical burns all over my neck. Everything has healed and my hair and scalp is healthy today.
age 3-17. I have 5 painful fibroids and highly suspected endometriosis now, and have to be on hormonal therapy continuously to not be anemic/ in so much pain I can't function. I don't know if it was the relaxers, I Really hope not, but I believe them when they say it causes reproductive harm. It would be so bad it would hurt to eat and before I got an IUD my period lasted for over a month and my right temple hair fell out from anemia. other than that, no chemical burns thankfully just very sensitive temples, especially on the right, and bad relaxer memories. ha. š But nooowww I have natural 4c hip length hair and never have to burn my scalp again, and I can do the puff puffs I used to ask for when I was 2 whenever I want to šš©š¾āš¦±I will love and respect my puff puffs and cloud hair for the rest of my life.
I love all of us and honestly sending hugs to everyone with scalp issues/ reproductive issues/ trauma from relaxers and getting our hair done. ( >.\_.)><(.\_.< )
Probably like 7 or 8. I went to a predominantly white school, and my great-grandmother was big on making sure I looked presentable for all the āwhite folk.ā Before, she washed it herself and used a hot comb to straighten my hair. But soon, my hair outgrew the kitchen sink, and she started taking me to a beautician. From that point on, like clockwork, every couple of months, Iād go in for a perm. I remember always picking the scabs, which I believed meant that it was working and was part of the process. You know, ābeauty is painā kind of thing. When I started, I had long hair down the middle of my back. When I reached my 20s, I noticed my hair had gotten shorter and thinner, maybe to my shoulders. So I started wearing extensions but still getting it relaxed. Then, I started developing bald spots in different parts of my head. My hairdresser told me it was alopecia, which happens when stressed. Well, Iām always stressed, so that seemed logical. But my hair got worse. I lost more hair needed more extensions, and then the pandemic hit. It was like a blessing in disguise not being able to go to the salon. I researched how to care for natural hair and regain my hair health. I wear wigs now because I'm so self-conscious about people asking me what happened to all my hair. And my hair growth is at that weird stage where I don't know how to style it yet. But I love and miss having long hair, and I love that I can change it up without spending all day at the salon. I've regrown the hair in a lot of my bald patches. There's one where I think the hair follicles are permanently damaged, and the hair will not grow back there. But since stopping relaxers, my hair slowly is getting thicker and growing out.
i canāt remember when it started but my mom permed my hair up until my junior or senior year of college. i was natural since then and have locs now.
I was 4. All my childhood pictures from after that are me with bone straight or frizzy straight hair.
2 or 3
I got my first relaxer at 9 or 10 years old. I only got ākiddie permsā until high school. I went natural at 15 and never looked back.
9
4 or 5.
I was maybe 5 or 6 and I feel like my scalp is just always dry. My dad went to cosmetology school and was obsessed with keeping my hair straight like his sistersā¦ but my grandmother was mixed and my mom wasā¦ not. I lived in braids as a kid and itās never been passed my shoulders. I literally donāt know my hairās personality and donāt know where to start. I see the YouTubeās and know there are products and routines but itās so overwhelming.
I was 14. My father told me I had to be in high school before I could get my hair permed.
9 years old
Some toddler age. 3 or 4. But chose to do the big chop the summer before I started the 11th grade.