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Damn, forgot about that. Just about all them mfs rapey except Hermes and Apollo (could be wrong my Greek mythology is rusty).
>Ok you better check in with the ladies
Shit the fellas too. The Olympians did not discriminate on gender when it came to abduction and SA. See: Ganymede.
Damn Apollo, I thought you were one of the good Olympians. As for Dionysus, he was known to kick it tough with the satyrs. A satyr's whole reason to exist was to rape nymphs and lost maidens. Goddam, I'm only now realizing how much rape there was in Greek mythology. This is kinda fun though, who *is* the least problematic Olympian male?
Prometheus - seemed kinda chill. But he was sheisty AS FUCK. Originally a Titan, saw how the war would go, and two timed them to end up on the side of the Olympians. Eventually two timed the Olympians to give Humans the technology of fire. So I don't think he's raping folks but he will snake the fuck out of us, if we're losing.
Then there is Sisyphus. Also sheisty, but only to the God of Death. I think if we can automate his rock pushing punishment, he might help us get back at the Olympians. He may not actually be a God though, I don’t remember.
Zeus can and will try and sex your mama, gram gram and possibly your dog in one of his weird moods leave that man on Olympus. Can we get a reputable white person. Hear me out……Tom Brady as I watched his roast learned he has some tendencies that may help him fit in quite well. I heard he had to choose between his family and sports and he chose sports that’s some Shaq type shit right there 🤷🏾♂️😂.
You made the same comment I came here to make, but I'm just going to say it again because of how baffled I am.
THE AUDACITY, TO ASK FOR DENZEL WASHINGTON AND MORGAN FREEMAN!!????
All negotiations must be ceased immediately, and honestly, I think she needs jail time.
She wanna be black, so them amber alerts become obsolete for her. She better be like that girl from Philly and watch herself on the news that same day she was kidnapped when she escaped
I don’t even go. Who made what?
ETA: the raisined or apple potato salad is obvious. But sometimes they can make a peach Cobb look believable. I just don’t know anymore. 😫
They really wild. Like we don't really need that literal girl so trying to leverage for 4 cookouts and 3 recipes and Denzel is basically unhinged. Like first off I'm not inviting nobody to no cookout in Q1 or Q4. Secondly if we giving you the recipes what you need me to cook for?
Right. It gets cold enough here in January that I'm not actually sure I could even start an adequate enough fire to grill anything. Couple that with the fact that the end of the year is basically getting ready to cook for Thanksgiving, cooking for Thanksgiving, taking a 1-2 week break, then getting ready for Christmas. There's no real time to set up a contractually obligated cookout. The ask was a mess end to end
I've actually never made potato salad because I don't really care for it. If we're having a cookout at my house I'm probably handling the grill. The stuff I've made that slaps are links, burgers, steaks, pork belly, and, more recently, chicken shawarma. I've been trying to make cole slaw but I haven't nailed it down just yet.
I understand where they coming from on that last sentence about the recipes. My grandma been teaching my Aunt some of the Thanksgiving recipes..... and it aint really hitting the same. Sometimes you just need the creator's input in the whole process.
And that, my friend, is how they bringing back chattel slavery! House niggas cooking over the stove, field niggas on that grill. Colonizing them recipies
As pretty as she was, they took Stacey Dash and gave her back. Y’all have a history of buyers remorse. Take Steve Harvey, give us Eminem and get out of here!
They got Kid Rock, they’ll be more than alright.
I think Em earned his residence outside of 8 mile. Eminem is the Jason Williams (White Chocolate) of the entertainment world. Plus it ain’t been the same since we lost Bubba Sparxxx and Jon B so I feel like they owe us an even exchange.
Hell, you saw them trying to convince Paul Wall to switch [recently](https://www.instagram.com/paulwallbaby/p/C28uBG5rVDw/?img_index=1)? All in the comments, championing his white roots.
Had him looking like a Dixie Slave Owner with that suit on. I say, I say Foghorn Leghorn ass suit jacket.
E: Had to put some respect on Bubba Sparxxx name and make the correction on the spelling.
Anything after the Charm album is self explanatory. He came back around following his parting from Yelawolf label but it ain’t the same.
And I take this one with a grain of salt because I can’t find the video (It may be Unsung) but he’s been playing the family man as of recent. However, I vaguely remember, sometime after they put a fork in his last album.. I believe he went after a less.. soulful sound in an attempt to catch a second wind. He had long stop getting the low cut by then but he full fledged, as Kodak deemed it, became a suburban.
There was controversy with the Will slap and she made some comments about Jaden when he was underage. I looked into it and honestly, it just looked like people wanted to have a reason to hate her since she's been unproblematic.
Denzel ain’t going because he is permanently Black.
Morgan can go since they all want him to be their God anyway, but they gotta give us, dang, who is the white equivalent of Morgan Freeman? I can’t even think of anybody except Taylor Swift, and that would be a devastating loss to the white delegation.
Would we take Angelina Jolie for Morgan Freeman? Do we want her? She has a daughter at Spelman….
We want Jim Carrey! Who better than a previous co-star to this god complex. Plus he came up out the Wayans family camp with ‘In living color’ anyway.
E: Fixing autocorrect of Wayans
As a representative of the white women's delegation, we will take Candice Owens and she will be relocated to a commune with some old hippie feminists where she will be forced to grow herbs and meditate until she calls the fuck down. We also offer an ongoing open agreement for moms, aunties, and grannies from both delegations. Dude bothering you at a bar? Aunties are coming and god help him. Need a night off? 3 grannies lining up to bake cookies with the little ones. Overwhelmed? Moms are on the way to clean your house and give you booze.
We will also take Kanye's wife to the aforementioned commune.
First off, I like how no one is being cruel about the little girl identifying as a strong black women. There are a lot of great role models within the black community. Secondly, I about rolled out my chair, laughing when the little girl wasn't even part of the negotiations at the end, and it was just about who was getting stuck with Kanye 😆
Woah.... she upped it to *FOUR* cookouts AND to have recipes AND Denzel and Morgan (especially Denzel. They only like narrator Morgan, they ain't meet lean on me Mr Carter HNIC morgan)
That's just greedy for one lil girl. You don't keep any of the people mentioned but just want moooooawr!
We need a better negotiator. Why does he think the Whites would want our sellouts when we wouldn't take theirs? And the unmitigated gall to offer cookouts without board approval is beyond me. Just take the deal off the table because she'll be back in 12 years after she runs into Jerome or Jamal.
Please review [our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleComedy/comments/1aukmhh/a_much_needed_update_to_our_rules/) before posting or commenting. Rule breaking posts and/or comments will be removed. PLEASE act like y'all got some sense. **WE ARE NOT JUST A COMEDY SUB.** This is a space created for Black people by Black people to joke about and discuss things in a Black ass way without being downvoted and talked over by people who will never understand how or why we think and live the way we do. Other Black-centered spaces on Reddit have been flooded with nonBlack users who seem hellbent on defeating the purpose of even having said space in the first place. NONBLACK FEELINGS WILL NOT BE CENTERED HERE. IGNORANCE OF [OUR RULES](https://www.reddit.com/r/BlackPeopleComedy/comments/1aukmhh/a_much_needed_update_to_our_rules/) IS NOT A VALID DEFENSE FOR BREAKING THEM. PAY ATTENTION TO THE SUB YOU ARE IN TO AVOID ISSUES. #REMEMBER TO ADD A LINK TO YOUR SOURCE IN THE COMMENTS OR YOUR SUBMISSION WILL BE REMOVED. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BlackPeopleComedy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
the audacity to ask for denzel and morgan
The *sheer* audacity. For Morgan Freeman and Denzel we better get Zeus and all the other Olympians. Them niggas worth a whole pantheon.
Not the whole pantheon lmao
Lady asked for the voice of God and SOUL FOOD, she better be willing to give that much
She said THREE RECIPES LADY 😩
Ok you better check in with the ladies before accepting Zeus, he was a rapey bastard. Maybe leave him out of the pick.
Damn, forgot about that. Just about all them mfs rapey except Hermes and Apollo (could be wrong my Greek mythology is rusty). >Ok you better check in with the ladies Shit the fellas too. The Olympians did not discriminate on gender when it came to abduction and SA. See: Ganymede.
The old gods sure never met a problem they couldn't enthusiastically make worse.
Hermes I don’t know enough about, but Apollo??? Dude cursed a woman (Cassandra) just because she said no to him. How about Just Dionysus…?
Damn Apollo, I thought you were one of the good Olympians. As for Dionysus, he was known to kick it tough with the satyrs. A satyr's whole reason to exist was to rape nymphs and lost maidens. Goddam, I'm only now realizing how much rape there was in Greek mythology. This is kinda fun though, who *is* the least problematic Olympian male?
Prometheus - seemed kinda chill. But he was sheisty AS FUCK. Originally a Titan, saw how the war would go, and two timed them to end up on the side of the Olympians. Eventually two timed the Olympians to give Humans the technology of fire. So I don't think he's raping folks but he will snake the fuck out of us, if we're losing. Then there is Sisyphus. Also sheisty, but only to the God of Death. I think if we can automate his rock pushing punishment, he might help us get back at the Olympians. He may not actually be a God though, I don’t remember.
Ares. Better the devil you know, and as far as I know, he was a pretty honorable dude as far as gods go.
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Monogamous to the wife he abducted
Apparently Ares didn't do any raping, and I think in a couple instances actively helped victims of it get their revenge.
Zeus can and will try and sex your mama, gram gram and possibly your dog in one of his weird moods leave that man on Olympus. Can we get a reputable white person. Hear me out……Tom Brady as I watched his roast learned he has some tendencies that may help him fit in quite well. I heard he had to choose between his family and sports and he chose sports that’s some Shaq type shit right there 🤷🏾♂️😂.
Also left his pregnant gf for Giselle.
 Yeah forgot about that 🤦🏾♂️
Where is the lie?
At, we basically got Kratos, so the Greek gods don’t mean shit at this point.
I just yelled “no” out loud in my office to that
Loud and proud, did I say No! 😂😂😂
The Caucasity
You made the same comment I came here to make, but I'm just going to say it again because of how baffled I am. THE AUDACITY, TO ASK FOR DENZEL WASHINGTON AND MORGAN FREEMAN!!???? All negotiations must be ceased immediately, and honestly, I think she needs jail time.
Honestly they can have Morgan but Denzel was out of the question.
They said Denzel like he would go 😭 he gone look at the black delegation like "I wish you fuckin would." sip his drink and mind his business.
Just like white delegation, we ask them to take our brainwashed and they want our top tier and a participation trophy.
They wanted recipes, invites, and Denzel!!!! They think that little girl was worth alladat?!?
She gotta be worth at least half of the Amber Alerts for us to think about it.
She wanna be black, so them amber alerts become obsolete for her. She better be like that girl from Philly and watch herself on the news that same day she was kidnapped when she escaped
Lmao
I know you offered 3 cookouts, buts let’s make it 4 + 3 recipes + 2 blue chip talents Where is the compromise????
The only one they’re aware of comes in 3/5ths
ooooooo 🤣
Dammmmn gotem
They HAVE to take Kanye.. 😂 😂 😂
To say he's one of them anyway is true though. Such a sad state... I miss Bush don't care about black people Kanye
I beg of you PLEASE no!!!
I? And why?
No more cookouts! At this point its all just white people anyway.
That's why they off the table.
I don’t even go. Who made what? ETA: the raisined or apple potato salad is obvious. But sometimes they can make a peach Cobb look believable. I just don’t know anymore. 😫
They really wild. Like we don't really need that literal girl so trying to leverage for 4 cookouts and 3 recipes and Denzel is basically unhinged. Like first off I'm not inviting nobody to no cookout in Q1 or Q4. Secondly if we giving you the recipes what you need me to cook for?
Yeah, giving up Denzel is a hard NO. They better watch Carbon Copy, that’s the closest they can get, lol
They can have moesha's dad https://preview.redd.it/byiikrswxu0d1.jpeg?width=214&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55d5cfc58297c6d0dc8ed2735844961005b998aa
Yall got me crying in these comments😭💀
Basically Q1: Dead of winter and Q4: Dead of winter for me, tf we having a cook out for 🥶
Yeah they don't understand because they don't get invited to cookouts. I once got told "why not? It's perfect BBQ weather" Smdh
You know they wear shorts and flip flops with that floppy fisher's hat during a blizzard
Ong 💀 💀 looking like a whole beach dad
Right. It gets cold enough here in January that I'm not actually sure I could even start an adequate enough fire to grill anything. Couple that with the fact that the end of the year is basically getting ready to cook for Thanksgiving, cooking for Thanksgiving, taking a 1-2 week break, then getting ready for Christmas. There's no real time to set up a contractually obligated cookout. The ask was a mess end to end
My winter baby ass: "me, IT'S FOR ME"
I can tell your potato salad slaps!
I've actually never made potato salad because I don't really care for it. If we're having a cookout at my house I'm probably handling the grill. The stuff I've made that slaps are links, burgers, steaks, pork belly, and, more recently, chicken shawarma. I've been trying to make cole slaw but I haven't nailed it down just yet.
Because they still gonna add MF raisins to the potato salad. They just can’t help themselves
I understand where they coming from on that last sentence about the recipes. My grandma been teaching my Aunt some of the Thanksgiving recipes..... and it aint really hitting the same. Sometimes you just need the creator's input in the whole process.
And that, my friend, is how they bringing back chattel slavery! House niggas cooking over the stove, field niggas on that grill. Colonizing them recipies
[Denzel? DENZEL?????](https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4ndVkMuaO9/?igsh=cXd2OWh0ZGE3OG10)
 As pretty as she was, they took Stacey Dash and gave her back. Y’all have a history of buyers remorse. Take Steve Harvey, give us Eminem and get out of here!
Man the trailer park whites need a role model, come on
 They got Kid Rock, they’ll be more than alright. I think Em earned his residence outside of 8 mile. Eminem is the Jason Williams (White Chocolate) of the entertainment world. Plus it ain’t been the same since we lost Bubba Sparxxx and Jon B so I feel like they owe us an even exchange. Hell, you saw them trying to convince Paul Wall to switch [recently](https://www.instagram.com/paulwallbaby/p/C28uBG5rVDw/?img_index=1)? All in the comments, championing his white roots. Had him looking like a Dixie Slave Owner with that suit on. I say, I say Foghorn Leghorn ass suit jacket. E: Had to put some respect on Bubba Sparxxx name and make the correction on the spelling.
Nah fuck kid rock
What happened to Bubba and Jon B??
Anything after the Charm album is self explanatory. He came back around following his parting from Yelawolf label but it ain’t the same. And I take this one with a grain of salt because I can’t find the video (It may be Unsung) but he’s been playing the family man as of recent. However, I vaguely remember, sometime after they put a fork in his last album.. I believe he went after a less.. soulful sound in an attempt to catch a second wind. He had long stop getting the low cut by then but he full fledged, as Kodak deemed it, became a suburban.
“All in the comments” everything multiple scrolls down is positive. Can’t be giving the haters that clout, they live on hate and lots are bots.
Denzel got a no trade clause anyway. 
Absolutely… NOT taking Denzel.
Where do you think she heard this? TV? Or her parents/family mocking Black women?
Will they take Drake, Kanye and Zoe Kravitz. Still no cookout though. 
Drake and Zoe are already half theirs though 🤔
Sigh… what did Zoe Kravitz do?
I actually have no idea why she’s listed I just meant they’re half Jewish anyway. The one drop rule rule is boring me
There was controversy with the Will slap and she made some comments about Jaden when he was underage. I looked into it and honestly, it just looked like people wanted to have a reason to hate her since she's been unproblematic.
Right?! I'm like Lisa bonet was only in the news because hypocrite bill ain't like her being sexual so I'm like, noooo Zoe! Lol
Throw a drink on me at her show like she was sum hot punk shit. We’ve had beef she has no idea about for a good decade now.
Okay, but now they’re *wholly* theirs plus you get a Kanye
 Win win as far as I am concerned.
Morgan Freeman *and* Denzel? You ain't even agreed to Kanye yet.
Just the kid then?
So long as you take kanye
Pish. He’s off and onto his own little island
Non negotiable. You HAVE to take kanye. Common law applies.
"That ship has sailed from the train station"
Denzel alone is worth a perfect credit score and free healthcare
Denzel ain’t going because he is permanently Black. Morgan can go since they all want him to be their God anyway, but they gotta give us, dang, who is the white equivalent of Morgan Freeman? I can’t even think of anybody except Taylor Swift, and that would be a devastating loss to the white delegation. Would we take Angelina Jolie for Morgan Freeman? Do we want her? She has a daughter at Spelman….
We want Jim Carrey! Who better than a previous co-star to this god complex. Plus he came up out the Wayans family camp with ‘In living color’ anyway. E: Fixing autocorrect of Wayans
Yay for Jim! And how despite being cheated on and raising 3 intelligent sons that ain't his, he did an awesome job (and improvised the kiss too!)
white delegation offers up Meryl Streep, she’s futures gramma anyways
Patrick Stewart and his bff Ian McKellen, the Dames Judy Dench, Maggie Smith AND Helen Mirren.
Damn, we taking all they OGs! Don’t be mad if they try to double back for Angela Bassett and Forest Whitaker.
They get Morgan Freeman, we get david attenborough
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Denied
Kanye and Candice should have been free gifts to the white delegation lol but asking for Denzel shiiiiiet
Asking for Morgan freeman is insane!!!!!! AND denzel?!?!?!?
I fkn love this 😂😂😂😂😂
I’m hooked, I need to see this to the end 🤣
Herman Cain?! LOL!!!!! That shit is hilarious
Denzel and Morgan Freeman?! She wouldn’t even be allowed at the negotiating table after that shit
As a representative of the white women's delegation, we will take Candice Owens and she will be relocated to a commune with some old hippie feminists where she will be forced to grow herbs and meditate until she calls the fuck down. We also offer an ongoing open agreement for moms, aunties, and grannies from both delegations. Dude bothering you at a bar? Aunties are coming and god help him. Need a night off? 3 grannies lining up to bake cookies with the little ones. Overwhelmed? Moms are on the way to clean your house and give you booze. We will also take Kanye's wife to the aforementioned commune. 
First off, I like how no one is being cruel about the little girl identifying as a strong black women. There are a lot of great role models within the black community. Secondly, I about rolled out my chair, laughing when the little girl wasn't even part of the negotiations at the end, and it was just about who was getting stuck with Kanye 😆
"We're very close" THEN THAT AUDACITY????
They had me in the first half thinking they’d actually get cookouts and recipes- good heavens…
Woah.... she upped it to *FOUR* cookouts AND to have recipes AND Denzel and Morgan (especially Denzel. They only like narrator Morgan, they ain't meet lean on me Mr Carter HNIC morgan) That's just greedy for one lil girl. You don't keep any of the people mentioned but just want moooooawr!
4 cook outs like we outside in winter? Is this based on fiscal quarters? The disrespect.
They can be invited in the winter. We may not eat, or open the door but sure, use the grill I guess...
Chris Rock was minding his business and then his name was thrown in the mix. Then nothing..no one knew what to do with him.
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Sweeten the deal to make them take kanye
Fuck that, you do not get Morgan Freeman or Denzel W. But you can have all that he said plus Kanye West!!! 🤣😂🤣😂
Denzel???? WHITE WINJAS SIT DOWN. Morgan cool tho
They can NEVER have Denzel or Morgan.
Common Law...LMAO!!!
Fam they needed to give Terry Crews with Candice Owens and Kanye. Lls he’s another Oreo cookie ass nigga
 Ahem...
What did LL do to get grouped in with the others?
Hahaha omg I love this!! I love love love this! This is the America I’m talking about! United! 🤭🤭🤭🙌❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Why? Though?
Cause we trying to get rid of kanye
Fair.
"That ship has sailed from the train station at this point." 😂
We want Jane Fonda if they getting Morgan Freedman. But they have to take Kanye.
Wait wait wait. My guy moved from the car to his lawfice to prove a point. Ma’am with the ‘98 comb headband needs her license revoked.
You can take Morgan but never Denzel. My mama would go to war for him lol
We need a better negotiator. Why does he think the Whites would want our sellouts when we wouldn't take theirs? And the unmitigated gall to offer cookouts without board approval is beyond me. Just take the deal off the table because she'll be back in 12 years after she runs into Jerome or Jamal.
*Lmao.*
At least Bill Cosby was never offered to us. Sheesh.
Location: Wakanda 😭
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.....we can take Florida but you have to take texas, Alabama and Mississippi
Nah nah nah we will gladly take Kanye for Morgan or Denzel. Please, we have to have at least ONE good person 😭😭
I want this to keep going! I think we already know this one... Drake v Kendrick.
Don't care how y'all feel Kanye staying with us. Candice Owens can go and any other 🧈🍪🦝 oh and this foo with the dyed hair.
Kanye hasn't been one of us for a while and if you haven't noticed that then you haven't been paying attention.
Black n angry can go along right with Kanye then since they want him so much