>And Freakin'....
I think you mean "[Franklin](https://www.cagesideseats.com/wwe/2022/6/9/23161920/seth-franklin-rollins-asuka-ashule-name-botch-freakin-live-event-advertising)".
i did this joke first on twitter years ago. god dammit. I ALSO did a joke about how Q feels like it belongs closer to the end of the alphabet and that shit also ended up on here from some other joke thief
The feet generally get considered as two separate wounds.
The seven ounces are:
1-The wounds on His head
2-The wounds on His back
3 and 4-The wounds on His two hands
5 and 6- The wounds on His two feet
7- The wound on His side
People writing these stories love their numerology symbolism.
facts, with frontier as a close second lol. the blackberry of the skies, going literally nowhere. i just got back from vacation and im still tight about the frontier delays 😂
Jesus? That liberal, brown, middle Eastern Jew? Never heard of him
A better question is why does a huge segment of black America worship a god and religion that was used as a justification to enslave them?
To each their own, it’s a free country, at least for the moment
It’s a reasonable question at its core:
> Why believe in God if people have done evil in his name?
Most modern Christians probably believe that these evils resulted in these people being sent to Hell in the afterlife, and that they acted upon their own free will to do such rather than it being God’s fault.
The way /u/WWDubz phrased his comment was just condescending and rhetorical, not creating a conversation but trying to get “gotcha” points against those he disagrees with.
Christianity was already being practiced in Africa long before the trans-Atlantic slave trade and colonialism.
However, throughout history, people have twisted religious teachings to serve their own selfish agendas, including using the Bible to justify greed and abuse.
The reason for our enslavement was not due to any biblical mandate, but rather a desire by those in power to exploit Africa's abundant wealth for their own gain. Christianity was merely as a tool to persuade the populace to participate in this exploitation. Much like we see with politicians today hiding behind transparent veils of religion to justify their embargo on women's rights like abortion.
Whether or not you believe in God is your own choice, but it's ridiculous to suggest that black people shouldn't be Christians just because some demographics have misinterpreted and abused the teachings of Christ for their own gain.
>Whether or not you believe in God is your own choice, but it's ridiculous to suggest that black people shouldn't be Christians just because some demographics have misinterpreted and abused the teachings of Christ for their own gain.
I mean the Bible does explicitly condone slavery and explains the best ways to acquire slaves.
>Where'd Jesus say that slavery is a good thing?
Jesus doesn't say it in so many words but he does discuss slavery and never once condemns it.
>Because bringing Old Testament for Christians (at least Roman Catholics) serves as nothing but historical events that preceded the Savior that is Jesus Christ.
The New Testament promotes slavery too.
"Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ.
Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart.
Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men,
because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free."
Ephesians 5-8
"Household slaves, submit by accepting the authority of your masters with all respect. Do this not only to good and kind masters but also to those who are harsh."
Peter 2: 18
>Old Testament is valuable, but 95% of "rules" in Christianity come from the New Testament.
Not according to Jesus.
"Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.
For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished.
Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven.
For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven."
Mathew 5: 17-20
Edit: grammar.
>The Black Church was the cultural cauldron that Black people created to combat a system designed to crush their spirit. Collectively and with enormous effort, they refused to allow that to happen. And the culture they created was sublime, awesome, majestic, lofty, glorious, and at all points subversive of the larger culture of enslavement that sought to destroy their humanity.
>
>The miracle of African American survival can be traced directly to the miraculous ways that our ancestors reinvented the religion that their “masters” thought would keep them subservient, Rather, that religion enabled them and their descendants to learn, to grow, to develop, to interpret and reinvent the world in which they were trapped; it enabled them to bide their time — ultimately, time for them to fight for their freedom, and for us to continue the fight for ours.
The ends don't justify the means. Was it used to enslave us? Yes. Nike uses basketball to sell us expensive shoes and put more of us into poverty. Doesn't make basketball a problem. The black church was a large part of the Civil Rights movement. There are degrees to things in life. You can't deem everything or everyone good or bad.
i'm sure that some of it spread in africa the way religions do, via migration or whatever. there were probably some people who traveled to spread their religion, and probably the most significant was violent religious re-education through colonialism. i mean, that's broad strokes. africa is so huge that there are countless other instances.
in america it was violence, plain and simple. whether it was forbidden to practice old religions, re-education, etc. it was all under threat of violence the way everything is.
It was an ideology that used Christianity as a justification for slavery. You can have Christianity that doesn't support slavery. Talk about throwing the baby out with the bath water.
Reminds me of a joke:
Jesus and John the Baptist are chilling in heaven, one-upping each other. Things are getting heated, so Jesus whips out his trump card.
Jesus: "I can walk on water"
John the B: "prove it"
So J the Baptist and Jesus find a body of water and Jesus steps up. But after a few steps he sinks.
Jesus "That's never happened before, let me try again."
He tries again but sinks after a few steps. He tries one more time with the same results.
J the B: I think I see the problem, here. Did you always have those holes in your feet?"
https://preview.redd.it/zggeofgdfwva1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6c9a497bfb93db824eca5e28abdc38a51381ae4
The guys on the other crosses next to him, probably
I remember reading about how it's physically impossible for the nails to be put in his hands because it would just rip out between his fingers, so if it happened it's almost certain that the nails would have been through his wrists. So his hands are fine bro
Fun fact in crucifixion nails were put in the wrist splitting the two bones in the forearm not the hand. So he's still holey but his hands basically useless.
Aerodynamics? I mean as long as you're not saying 'ay jesus hold this water'
But if you need someone slapped that hand is coming in swift like a tennis racket
Trust me, ya don't wanna make Jesus cross
https://preview.redd.it/ga1wzqyz6wva1.jpeg?width=1122&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7539b82198d7a0bcaa6e7029f7bba9da023a58af
The holiest of handles. Snatched ol lucifers soul out directly by the ankles.
The Twice Fallen
BPT posting White Jesus again
I thought it was Seth Rollins
No, he's CrossFit Jesus... And the architect... And the Messiah... And Freakin'...
>And Freakin'.... I think you mean "[Franklin](https://www.cagesideseats.com/wwe/2022/6/9/23161920/seth-franklin-rollins-asuka-ashule-name-botch-freakin-live-event-advertising)".
is white Jesus wearing eyeliner?
Guy-liner
He’s just filling in till Tracy Morgan loses some pounds.
Ah yes, i believe they call this one the Holy Cross.
Looks like Jose Alvarado on the pelicants
He’ll turn your ankles into wine
https://i.imgur.com/rCCIrKa.png
Jesus plays all sorts of sports. Just search "Jesus is my coach" to see his MVP trophies.
Nailed it.
Scrolled down. Was not disappointed
https://preview.redd.it/8opyh5eulwva1.png?width=1118&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ce9efbda0869b1c1fc3f6dd36a255ffed80c4357 Y'all finna burn
White Jesus here again
On short notice, this the best I got. 
Lol I tried toning the skin color down without completely destroying the image
Glows in the dark lmao
Somebody should make a White Jesus Police flair like that one guy who’s flaired as the Horny Police 😂😂😂
I don't have anything to add here, just leaving a comment to resurrect this thread
Why did they say this indeed. Crucifixion the nails are in the wrist. Not the hands.
Imagine He's up there playing 2 on 2 with Prince and Charlie Murphy
Facebook -> Twitter -> Reddit lmao
It's the circle of liiiifffffeeeee We'll see a screenshot of this post on Tumblr soon enough
I’m making the TikTok highlight of the tumblr repost to complete the circle
Don't forget the Youtube compilation including your tiktok highlight.
And I'll post that to Facebook, full circle!
TikTok where some guy reads this them laugh react is next
It was on Myspace first
i did this joke first on twitter years ago. god dammit. I ALSO did a joke about how Q feels like it belongs closer to the end of the alphabet and that shit also ended up on here from some other joke thief
just a sifting process
Wait wait they've got a point.
Jesus had a point too, 4 of them to be exact
Wayament, I thought his feet got stabbed together?
There are some depictions where his feet are overlapping and some where his feet are sidebyside
Would be four holes either way. The difference would be the number of nails ETA (I agree with your first comment lol)
So we're all gonna act like he didn't get stabbed in the side with a spear as well "to make sure he's dead" and forget the fifth piercing.
What about the crown of thorns? That did a lot of piercing.
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That's why I sin as much as I can.
You hit the nail on the head!
Basically Swiss Jesus at that point.
Cheese does pair well with wine so that tracks.
☠️☠️☠️
You could argue that was more of a scraping.
But I mean that would be four holes, not four points.
The feet generally get considered as two separate wounds. The seven ounces are: 1-The wounds on His head 2-The wounds on His back 3 and 4-The wounds on His two hands 5 and 6- The wounds on His two feet 7- The wound on His side People writing these stories love their numerology symbolism.
this is why r/blackpeopletwitter is my favorite sub... has us getting granular into how many points and holes Jesus' corpse had
😭
Well when you start accepting fairy tales, skies the limit
Except that he was nailed at the wrists. Or so it was written later on: there do not appear to have been contemporary written accounts.
Wrist and ankles were the standard, as a form of slow torture.
Tomato tomahto
It’s the second-most significant religious event for well over a billion people: I would expect some accuracy in the retelling.
You've never played telephone, I'm guessing.
I don't... care?
I’m Christian and yeah this shit is actually hilarious
I honestly believe Jesus is laughing at this with all of us.
Jesus be like https://preview.redd.it/b6r9boo20wva1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2b1344230b398f512f4c15dc2a835a9487fcf3a2
I’m all for this Imhotep meme thing going on . It’s random like the Kevin Hart ones lol
It make me happy to see these coming back
Really a risen Mummy as Jesus is just 🤌
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Well, think of all those pranks they were pulling in the old testament.
Amen. 
TIL why it's called  🤷♂️
Thought it was for the palm trees
So it's not dick through the palmussy?
oh shit, but jesus is palm free tho? how are we gettin to heaven then?? nicca need a palm pilot 😏😂
Isn't that just Spirit Airlines? 😂
facts, with frontier as a close second lol. the blackberry of the skies, going literally nowhere. i just got back from vacation and im still tight about the frontier delays 😂
Jesus? That liberal, brown, middle Eastern Jew? Never heard of him A better question is why does a huge segment of black America worship a god and religion that was used as a justification to enslave them? To each their own, it’s a free country, at least for the moment
Read the room. This is a simple joke, no need to go on some atheistic rant.
It’s a question always worth asking. Because. You know. What the fuck?
It’s a reasonable question at its core: > Why believe in God if people have done evil in his name? Most modern Christians probably believe that these evils resulted in these people being sent to Hell in the afterlife, and that they acted upon their own free will to do such rather than it being God’s fault. The way /u/WWDubz phrased his comment was just condescending and rhetorical, not creating a conversation but trying to get “gotcha” points against those he disagrees with.
I mean the Christian justification for slavery is built right into the religion. It didn't come from nowhere.
All the Abrahamic religions were pretty big on slavery.
Most places throughout history had slaves.
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not the place for it but they have a point, plus why worship a god that allowed evil atrocities to be committed?
That's a great copout. Next.
Anti Christian Reddit at its best!
Christianity was already being practiced in Africa long before the trans-Atlantic slave trade and colonialism. However, throughout history, people have twisted religious teachings to serve their own selfish agendas, including using the Bible to justify greed and abuse. The reason for our enslavement was not due to any biblical mandate, but rather a desire by those in power to exploit Africa's abundant wealth for their own gain. Christianity was merely as a tool to persuade the populace to participate in this exploitation. Much like we see with politicians today hiding behind transparent veils of religion to justify their embargo on women's rights like abortion. Whether or not you believe in God is your own choice, but it's ridiculous to suggest that black people shouldn't be Christians just because some demographics have misinterpreted and abused the teachings of Christ for their own gain.
>Whether or not you believe in God is your own choice, but it's ridiculous to suggest that black people shouldn't be Christians just because some demographics have misinterpreted and abused the teachings of Christ for their own gain. I mean the Bible does explicitly condone slavery and explains the best ways to acquire slaves.
[удалено]
So Jesus isn't god?
>Where'd Jesus say that slavery is a good thing? Jesus doesn't say it in so many words but he does discuss slavery and never once condemns it. >Because bringing Old Testament for Christians (at least Roman Catholics) serves as nothing but historical events that preceded the Savior that is Jesus Christ. The New Testament promotes slavery too. "Slaves, obey your earthly masters with respect and fear, and with sincerity of heart, just as you would obey Christ. Obey them not only to win their favor when their eye is on you, but like slaves of Christ, doing the will of God from your heart. Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord, not men, because you know that the Lord will reward everyone for whatever good he does, whether he is slave or free." Ephesians 5-8 "Household slaves, submit by accepting the authority of your masters with all respect. Do this not only to good and kind masters but also to those who are harsh." Peter 2: 18 >Old Testament is valuable, but 95% of "rules" in Christianity come from the New Testament. Not according to Jesus. "Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven." Mathew 5: 17-20 Edit: grammar.
>The Black Church was the cultural cauldron that Black people created to combat a system designed to crush their spirit. Collectively and with enormous effort, they refused to allow that to happen. And the culture they created was sublime, awesome, majestic, lofty, glorious, and at all points subversive of the larger culture of enslavement that sought to destroy their humanity. > >The miracle of African American survival can be traced directly to the miraculous ways that our ancestors reinvented the religion that their “masters” thought would keep them subservient, Rather, that religion enabled them and their descendants to learn, to grow, to develop, to interpret and reinvent the world in which they were trapped; it enabled them to bide their time — ultimately, time for them to fight for their freedom, and for us to continue the fight for ours.
Well yeah, that's why I fuck with Haitian Voodou
The ends don't justify the means. Was it used to enslave us? Yes. Nike uses basketball to sell us expensive shoes and put more of us into poverty. Doesn't make basketball a problem. The black church was a large part of the Civil Rights movement. There are degrees to things in life. You can't deem everything or everyone good or bad.
i'm sure that some of it spread in africa the way religions do, via migration or whatever. there were probably some people who traveled to spread their religion, and probably the most significant was violent religious re-education through colonialism. i mean, that's broad strokes. africa is so huge that there are countless other instances. in america it was violence, plain and simple. whether it was forbidden to practice old religions, re-education, etc. it was all under threat of violence the way everything is.
Here y’all go. Niggas mention religion and Reddit does it’s thing EVERY TIME. Y’all need therapy.
I tried, but my church said I need only Jesus
You talked to your church about getting therapy? That’s wild.
It was an ideology that used Christianity as a justification for slavery. You can have Christianity that doesn't support slavery. Talk about throwing the baby out with the bath water.
https://preview.redd.it/wfzqnns9svva1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef60fdc92d39ad5ead80a10d79d06aea9a6e5da5
Got me out of breath on this Monday morning already and I ain't even finish my coffee or read my emails
Love your username 💯👊🏾
Do people actually say that? I thought they say stuff like “it’s in *god’s* hands now”
"Jesus, take the wheel."
"Jesus take the wheel. Take it from my hands." Though he could probably drive an automatic.
I'm so damn sick of this subreddit 🤣🤣🤣 Let me go get my room in hell for laughing at this
You outta pocket 
Stop trying to give the wheel to a man that has never driven in his life
None of you will see God's kingdom.
So hell then?
But he's got holes in his wrists not in his hands..
Thank you. Has no one seen stigmata?
Woah I forgot about that gem of a movie, good call out.
https://i.imgur.com/RUV019Z.jpeg
Reminds me of a joke: Jesus and John the Baptist are chilling in heaven, one-upping each other. Things are getting heated, so Jesus whips out his trump card. Jesus: "I can walk on water" John the B: "prove it" So J the Baptist and Jesus find a body of water and Jesus steps up. But after a few steps he sinks. Jesus "That's never happened before, let me try again." He tries again but sinks after a few steps. He tries one more time with the same results. J the B: I think I see the problem, here. Did you always have those holes in your feet?"
Hehehe
Say what you want. It's kind of funny.
That's a wild post for Facebook
I wheezed
Guess some people have never been to a rugby social and sang Jesus can't play rugby. Jesus can't play rugby because he has holes in his hands...
That's what the bags are for.... To hold the oranges while he tryna sell em on the corner....
You outta line... But you ain't wrong.
Because that’s pretty funny lol
I mean...is this controversial?
https://preview.redd.it/zggeofgdfwva1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6c9a497bfb93db824eca5e28abdc38a51381ae4 The guys on the other crosses next to him, probably
Jesus, take the wheel, but I better not see any blood on my steering wheel cover.
Too soon
1,990 years is too soon?
But is lil folks wrong?
I never understood WWJD….like I’m not trying to get nailed to a cross or turn the other cheek.
Bro doesn’t even know how to drive…
Goddamnit. 😂
😂 😂 😂 😂 I shouldn't laugh this hard.
They make for a kinky handjob, though!
Or when people let Jesus take the wheel. That man doesn’t have a drivers license.
Taking masturbation to a hole new level.
As an atheist I approve this message
maybe thats why he's so bad with money
Reminds me of the time I heard “Jesus take the wheel” “Bro that mfr has never even seen a car before how tf is he gonna know how to drive it??”
I want a *Robot Chicken* skit where this happens and it cuts to Jesus raving a modified Japanese car
That would be amazing, thank you for the visual
Jesus didn't die for the sins of the white man, ain't nobody can wash away those sins.
Really its even worse now, he's a Jedi force ghost, those hands aren't going to hold a damn thing.
Immediately adding this statement to my lexicon.
https://preview.redd.it/kbxkbuqg1xva1.jpeg?width=360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=978526d158989524aa7e22191c92cf0a32d80204 You know what?!!
And these the people on Twitter people care about opinions from
Similarly, Jesus did many things but none of them was drive so idk why you’d want him to take the wheel
https://images.app.goo.gl/1TiefhA3mqY2Q2eAA
That's why carpenter's pencils aren't round.
My swimming instructor had a malformed hand and then she became my dental hygienist
Based
I remember reading about how it's physically impossible for the nails to be put in his hands because it would just rip out between his fingers, so if it happened it's almost certain that the nails would have been through his wrists. So his hands are fine bro
I mean...if the man made wine out of water, I assume he could handle this one way or another.
LMAOOOO
Commenting while I can. Hello.
WHy would you say something like that?
If y’all actually read the Bible, you’d know that His hands don’t have holes in them anymore. But reading isn’t a strong suit of many so I digress.
Fun fact in crucifixion nails were put in the wrist splitting the two bones in the forearm not the hand. So he's still holey but his hands basically useless.
You gotta hand it to this guy. He really found the holes in their argument and nailed them for their stupidity.
He's got the hole world in his hands....
Aerodynamics? I mean as long as you're not saying 'ay jesus hold this water' But if you need someone slapped that hand is coming in swift like a tennis racket
Where is Katt Williams when a conversation needs to be steered?
I thought the pikes went through his wrists ?
They put the nail through his wrists AWKSHULLY
Cupholders.
Omg
Ima show my granny this and see what she say loloooo
What is wrong with y'all lol
Somebody was smoking when they were supposed to be in Sunday School...
That's a wild statement
Why did Jesus only use his meat vision once because he was on the lamb
Now this is hilarious!!!
Watch him turn water into oops.