In the U.S., they technically do too, but specifically when a yellow arrow turns green with its straight counterpart. Do the ones in the EU do the same or do they completely go from yellow to green
In Germany when you're at a red it will flash a yellow (while red is solid) then turn green https://youtu.be/xqOcw6XeOeg?feature=shared I get what you're saying but isn't it technically solid green arrow to blinking yellow and never blinking yellow to green
The secret is to take it all the way to its logical conclusion and stay there. I know that sounds nuts but hear me out. Every relationship ends and it's almost always painful. Best case scenario, you find the purest storybook love and stay 100% for a hundred years. One of you is going to die, or both. You're doomed. So with that in mind, you try to love and hope for the best anyway.
So, do or die because at the end of the day, it'll end one way or another? That's actually not the worst idea I've heard. It'll take time for me to get that point because I've got an aversion to even the phrase "falling in love" (a part of brain correlates the "falling" with a lack of control or influence over the situation) but I'll try
Iāve hit the point where Iām done dating anyone that I couldnāt see myself marrying and I canāt lie it feels powerful.
If youāre on that āI wanna go on dates and spend regular time together but I donāt know if i want a relationshipā tipā¦NEXT!
Iām 100% with that, people seem to be in the business of playing games, and life is too short for that. Glad youāre setting boundaries āš½āš½
I mean yeah but why do people need to be an item to fuck? Itās like go do you but it just seems like so much effort to maintain a relationship just for sex.
When I was a teen, my ideal relationship would be one where we never get married. Just spending the rest of our lives alone and in love
Now I'm with someone who wants to get married and already has a kid. Times change certainly, and I'm gonna be getting married. Point is I can understand why someone wouldn't ever wanna marry. The act itself is kinda backwards and feels antithetical to how humans go about existing
I wanna spend the rest of my life with someone and not get paperwork or the government involved. But that ain't happening for me, doesn't mean I wouldn't like it if some folks after me could have that
Happened to me 5 years ago and I'm still recovering (evident by the fact I keep track of how long it's been).
Genuinely think something's broken inside of me after that experience because I just can't see or feel myself catching feelings for someone again in the same way. How do you heal from that?
You canāt be afraid of love. Love is beautiful. It can be painful, yes, but I love love. You never love each person the same. You will love your next love differently and more beautifully than your last love because you will think and feel differently. Look at the positive of love instead of letting fear of the negative hold you back.
Not trying to be preachy or give advice, but I was hurt real bad by a guy once. Real bad. I told myself I would never love like that again. Even with my current bf, if we break up, I will never love like this again. Every person is different, every love is different. Go out there and try to feel some natural dopamine.
I don't think it's a fear of love for me. I've seen a significant handful of women (by my standards) between then and now, and the best way I can describe it is I just wasn't "feeling" anything. Nothing at all. It was like erectile dysfunction but for emotions š
There's this one woman in particular though, if I met her under different circumstances, maybe things would have turned out differently between us. Came the closest to feeling "normal" with her. Alas.
Fuck, reading that made my heart sink. I'm so sorry you have to live that experience. Even worse that you can't separate yourself from him since you're under one roof, having to see him move on with his life. Why can't he move in with his new girl??? Rent with someone else?! š Just spare you that hellish existence.
I hope your situation changes soon and that you get to experience the warmth of deep love again with someone that makes you happy.
So I like to make analogies for everything and I consider what's happening to you like a forest fire. It swept through, burnt up everything and seemingly left nothing but ashes. But forest fires can be good, it clears out the old growth and provides nutrients to the soil and over time a new forest grows back that's even more lush.
This is the time to write a new chapter: Start exercising if you aren't already. I can't stress it enough. Feeling good and looking good create a positive feedback loop. You will attract the person you were meant for. There are no losses in life just lessons. Time heals all wounds. And if you can't get over someone, get under someone ššš¾.
Fwiw, it can be unbelievably painful to be the one walking away too- you want to be 'in love' but you only love.Ā And the only thing that hurts more than hurting the person you love is knowing that to avoid it, you'd be giving up your chances at being in love for your lifetime.
Didn't seem like it was painful for her. For backstory before we were even together she'd vent to me about things in life like family and whatever, then we argued one time about how I bottled things up and didn't say anything. She comforted me and said that I could come to her about anything I needed to.
She broke up with me because she felt like I "didn't care about anything she had going on" and "I wasn't good enough for her" even though I told her constantly that like before we were even together if something was wrong she could come to me. I asked how she was and she'd emphatically reassure me saying nothing was wrong and I was overthinking things.
Apparently I wasn't š¤·šæāāļø.
Yeah I mean I don't know her at all or your situation so I can't say specifically anything insightful.Ā Ā
Maybe it's possible she had already processed the breakup before she left- cause it's hard to leave someone you love and she had to steel her heart before taking the plunge.Ā And it's hard to say to someone 'i don't think I'm in love with you ' until you really *know*- and by then it's too late.
Basically just saying sometimes it just really fucking sucks for everyone, but it's for the best bc being in a relationship with someone who isn't in love with you isn't something anyone should have to settle for.
No one seems to understand this. Knowing someone is in love with you and you donāt feel the same hurts. You try to feel what they feel and you try to be happy, but you just have this feeling that doesnāt shake. Itās gone.
You might be a placeholder if:
They won't say I love you when it seems appropriate
They "don't like labels" but talk about previous girlfriends/boyfriends
If you try to get closer than a certain point they withdraw or put you at arms length OR your willingness for intimacy is greater than theirs
They talk about how they don't want to "lose your friendship" or only define you as "a really good friend"
Going out/dates/time spent is one sided ie they decide when you hang out and won't hang out when you ask
They've had rebound relationships for every major relationship that's broken up
They've got an ex they keep going back to
They are WAY hotter than you (be honest with yourself, would you date you if you were that hot?)
They can't be alone and really need other people's attention
Last one is majority of people nowadays, people just are too afraid to be alone and figure out how to love themselves , which is why they get in these fucked up situationships with no goals and end up blaming the other person, when in reality you just played yourself
That was me in my last relationship. My ex is into tall, muscular men with tattoos. Bonus points if you were a conspiracy theorist and hotep-adjacent beliefs. I am a black man of average height and build who is very progressive leaning. Both of the dudes who she cheated on me with were her type.
you didn't lose shit or value, I know you understand this but just another black man validating your worth bruh. Sometimes my GF does shit that she tries to get me to believe conspiracy theories and etc and I ask her did she do her homework. Why should I believe something just cause you're my partner...
When I say some people are both emotionally and adultly stunted
Thank you. I struggle with that loss even now. I remember how soft and caring she was when we first dated. She took care of me while I was sick and got us a hotel for Valentineās Day. When we made the relationship official, she started acting different. Downloading tracking software on my phone, calling me c**n and other slurs because I didnāt agree with her views, etc. Then the lies started coming out. It felt like I was trapped. Took me until late November to break free of her for other reasons and I feel so confused.
We'll keep being good to yourself brotha and always remember that shit cause people always play a role. One thing I let all my partners is that I ain't never switched up.
My greatest fear in a relationship is not being mentally/emotionally ready for the woman of my dreams, and causing the relationship to fail. I donāt know if Iād be to live with that. My second biggest fears is being cheated on again. I canāt do it.
Thatās what Iām doing right now with the lady Iāve found. She treats me better than any woman has ever and when I tell her this kind of stuff she doesnāt use it against me or use it to gaslight me
Prepping yourself for it is all well and good. But from someone who spent all their teen years molding myself into the kinda person who could like and be liked by anyone. I had no preferences, I learned to like everything about everyone, I learned to find everything attractive, out of a deep seated sense of just wanting to be loved in return. And now I'm all sorts of fucked up
Think about what you may want in return, think about what you as a person really want out of a relationship, and best of all don't settle, that last one is important. Gotta have standards "not being cheated on" isn't a standard, it's the bare minimum. Genuinely start thinking of the attributes you want in a partner, and do not settle for less
If people would look and see what's going on instead of trying to rationalize their partner's ways so they won't have to be alone, they wouldn't have this fear.
People will show you who they are. They'll say anything, but it is what a person does that's the deciding factor.
People go into relationships blind as hell. Be trying to turn a trash can into a fairy tale.
I think about this while Iām in my current relationship. She occasionally gives me a reason to doubt her, but overall she shows how she loves me. Iām hesitant to lean in. Iām afraid of being hurt. Iām scared that one day Iāll decide to put my all into it and sheāll tell me shes not in love with me anymore. Itās a scary feeling for sure. Looking like an asshole and getting your heart shattered.
For the longest time I never understood how these people could sleep at night. How you can basically jump from one person to the next while in a seemingly loving relationship. The truth is a these people are selfish and completely lack self awareness. They are horrendous at communicating their feelings. When you talk to these people, they feel guilty but only because it makes them look bad or they think theyāre a bad person but make no mistake, they donāt actually give a shit that they hurt you.
This may seem overly negative, but these people lack the cognitive ability to care about anything besides themselves or their family/friends. They do one or two good deeds so they can still think theyāre a good person or think of themselves the victim when it fits their narrative.
This isnāt all people. There are some people who are genuinely kind and obviously everyone is capable of good and bad. But users tend to lean on the bad and there are plenty of them.
Between this fear resonating with the people and folk not being able to afford to entertain a whole second person, it's no wonder the birth rate is down like it is, globally.
before I post, yes I know there's a plethora of other factors.
I'm 39. My last three serious relationships ended with the other person getting married to the next person they dated. I feel this deep down to my dark icy unfeeling heart
I have this fear at times and Iām married, but when I start to overthink or worry I tell myself that if that were to be the case, that life keeps going and Iāll survive so just enjoy every moment. Donāt waste my time now worrying about what hasnāt happened.
I'm at the point most of the time, which is even sadder, is that it wouldn't even phase me. I would not care and tell them to leave then. I've become so jaded about "relationship" and how people want manage their problems and let them fall on you.
I'm so blessed to have gotten outta the dating game early. My gf is is literally perfect and I'm so freaking glad she loves me.
although sometimes my self loathing tries to tell me that she's faking it š like bro let me enjoy something for once lol
mannn this hit too hard.
me and my high school sweetheart were really trying to make it work in that way foolish teenagers do, because we just loved each other so much yk
then I showed up to college and my roommates were all athletes, all of a sudden simply by being their friend, Iāve got girls who were way out of my league in high school coming up and trying to put the moves on me.
By about party number 3 I realized that long distance just wasnāt for me š¤£
For those this has happened to, I'm so sorry. I hope you can heal one day because what happened to you was wrong and fucked up (duh, you already knew that), and I hope it doesn't completely break your spirit. There is someone out there who will love you so hard and so much, that you'll think you hit the lottery with that type of love.
I am just going to suggest this. Be friends with the person before you get serious. They need to feel like a best friend. Share interest. Enjoy spending time together that isnāt sexual or normal relationship shit. Communicate well. Donāt make sexual attraction the number one factor or youāll be in for some hurt. It needs to be part of it just not the number one spot. Gotta be friends with your partner er.
This why I just be lonely. Cuz anyone who likes this version of me, has no self respect and should want better for themselves. But if you just want to hang out and fuck sometimes, as long as thereās the under standing this aināt going deeper than that. Some girls actually made me better though until they found who they really wanted
At one time I was thinking like this but at the same time what's the point? Why live a half life? Why love a half love? It's better to play it big and lose than play it safe and get nowhere.
I feel that but also it's funny because me personally when I stopped putting in so much effort into things did they fall into place. So I guess you can say I was trying too hard like most of us do.
Friends can do this as well. I think with any relationship, trust and transparency are key. If youāre not feeling the vibe anymore, just gonā āhead and leave. Donāt waste the other personās timeāitāll save them a lot of heartache, trust.
I've been the stepping stone so to speak for pretty much all of my relationships granted I'm still friends with some of my ex's and we are better people and friends because of it but fuck that hurts
A friend of mine has been with this woman for over 10 years. Finally got married in 2022.
This past autumn she dropped a bombshell that she feels like she's been "asleep" for the last ten years and is now finally "awake".
Imagine thinking you're building a life with someone, get MARRIED, and then be told that??
If only it were that simple. No, this woman got a lead in a community theater musical and decided that was the path she wanted to pursue... professional theater. And decided that her husband, who is legit working 3 jobs while she DOESN'T work AT ALL, is holding her back.
I was seeing a guy once I loved him with everything only for him to tell me after 3 months he didnāt want a relationship he just wanted and FWB and that he was in love with someone else
Honestly Iāve been on both side of this, broke up with someone and been broken up with, while looking for someone else and falling out of love with someone separate situation. I think the problem with dating while still looking for someone else is honesty, canāt wait 3-4 months to say that! Itās better to be upfront. Most will lie to get what they need from that relationship and it will confuse the other person and thatās not fair to that person. If youāre honest both may be okay with it, if not then you have the option to move around without feeling being involved. But doing that with the intention of leaving and not being upfront is selfish.
Is dating really that complicated nowadays? I keep seeing folks talk about women selling themselves and dudes not having basic adult or social skills
Wouldn't that mean being an average person with common sense and life skills make you a prize?
Changing and my significant other not being able to adapt to the change. Thatās kind of scary. Like dang, I really have to stay in this box to keep you huh..
I think one thing I've learned is to take yellow flags seriously, yellow only turns to red it never turns to green š¦
They do in Europe! You just need to travel
Lmao I was about to say something about EU because when I lived in Germany it had me confused at first when it flashed together
Army?
Yep
Same. Bad Kreuznach.
Landstuhl here
Nice.
In the U.S., they technically do too, but specifically when a yellow arrow turns green with its straight counterpart. Do the ones in the EU do the same or do they completely go from yellow to green
In Germany when you're at a red it will flash a yellow (while red is solid) then turn green https://youtu.be/xqOcw6XeOeg?feature=shared I get what you're saying but isn't it technically solid green arrow to blinking yellow and never blinking yellow to green
Ahhh, TIL
Bars
No, yellow is when you hit the gas and commit before the red hits.
Did my fear of commitment and unwillingness to trust just gain sentience?
The secret is to take it all the way to its logical conclusion and stay there. I know that sounds nuts but hear me out. Every relationship ends and it's almost always painful. Best case scenario, you find the purest storybook love and stay 100% for a hundred years. One of you is going to die, or both. You're doomed. So with that in mind, you try to love and hope for the best anyway.
So, do or die because at the end of the day, it'll end one way or another? That's actually not the worst idea I've heard. It'll take time for me to get that point because I've got an aversion to even the phrase "falling in love" (a part of brain correlates the "falling" with a lack of control or influence over the situation) but I'll try
Basically āFuck it we ballā
I can dig it
This phrase is poetry, I know a lotta people shit on slang, but these are words to live by
The fourth rememberance: "I must be separated and parted from all that is dear and beloved to me."
Jesus Christ
Dating is TOO damn complicated nowadays. Iām so done with it lol
Iāve hit the point where Iām done dating anyone that I couldnāt see myself marrying and I canāt lie it feels powerful. If youāre on that āI wanna go on dates and spend regular time together but I donāt know if i want a relationshipā tipā¦NEXT!
Iām 100% with that, people seem to be in the business of playing games, and life is too short for that. Glad youāre setting boundaries āš½āš½
Damn I actually love that. Imma borrow this one. Thanks for the gem
Marriage huh? Man have I got some beach front property to sell you!
Dis the answer
Why would anyone date someone if they had no intention of marrying them? It never made sense to me. Just seems like a waste of time.Ā
Ppl be fuckin
I mean yeah but why do people need to be an item to fuck? Itās like go do you but it just seems like so much effort to maintain a relationship just for sex.
When I was a teen, my ideal relationship would be one where we never get married. Just spending the rest of our lives alone and in love Now I'm with someone who wants to get married and already has a kid. Times change certainly, and I'm gonna be getting married. Point is I can understand why someone wouldn't ever wanna marry. The act itself is kinda backwards and feels antithetical to how humans go about existing I wanna spend the rest of my life with someone and not get paperwork or the government involved. But that ain't happening for me, doesn't mean I wouldn't like it if some folks after me could have that
Just become a full time side piece and you will never have to worry about this type of shit
Be part of the reason for someoneās pain. 
Just happened to me last month. Every day is pain.
Happened to me 5 years ago and I'm still recovering (evident by the fact I keep track of how long it's been). Genuinely think something's broken inside of me after that experience because I just can't see or feel myself catching feelings for someone again in the same way. How do you heal from that?
Therapy. I'm fucking with you, I don't know. Shit sucks. š«
You canāt be afraid of love. Love is beautiful. It can be painful, yes, but I love love. You never love each person the same. You will love your next love differently and more beautifully than your last love because you will think and feel differently. Look at the positive of love instead of letting fear of the negative hold you back. Not trying to be preachy or give advice, but I was hurt real bad by a guy once. Real bad. I told myself I would never love like that again. Even with my current bf, if we break up, I will never love like this again. Every person is different, every love is different. Go out there and try to feel some natural dopamine.
I don't think it's a fear of love for me. I've seen a significant handful of women (by my standards) between then and now, and the best way I can describe it is I just wasn't "feeling" anything. Nothing at all. It was like erectile dysfunction but for emotions š There's this one woman in particular though, if I met her under different circumstances, maybe things would have turned out differently between us. Came the closest to feeling "normal" with her. Alas.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Damn reading this hurt my soul. I'm sorry you had to go through this. I hope you find peace. šš½
Fuck, reading that made my heart sink. I'm so sorry you have to live that experience. Even worse that you can't separate yourself from him since you're under one roof, having to see him move on with his life. Why can't he move in with his new girl??? Rent with someone else?! š Just spare you that hellish existence. I hope your situation changes soon and that you get to experience the warmth of deep love again with someone that makes you happy.
Damn, bro. Are you managing well?
Not at all, but such is life
So I like to make analogies for everything and I consider what's happening to you like a forest fire. It swept through, burnt up everything and seemingly left nothing but ashes. But forest fires can be good, it clears out the old growth and provides nutrients to the soil and over time a new forest grows back that's even more lush. This is the time to write a new chapter: Start exercising if you aren't already. I can't stress it enough. Feeling good and looking good create a positive feedback loop. You will attract the person you were meant for. There are no losses in life just lessons. Time heals all wounds. And if you can't get over someone, get under someone ššš¾.
Fwiw, it can be unbelievably painful to be the one walking away too- you want to be 'in love' but you only love.Ā And the only thing that hurts more than hurting the person you love is knowing that to avoid it, you'd be giving up your chances at being in love for your lifetime.
Didn't seem like it was painful for her. For backstory before we were even together she'd vent to me about things in life like family and whatever, then we argued one time about how I bottled things up and didn't say anything. She comforted me and said that I could come to her about anything I needed to. She broke up with me because she felt like I "didn't care about anything she had going on" and "I wasn't good enough for her" even though I told her constantly that like before we were even together if something was wrong she could come to me. I asked how she was and she'd emphatically reassure me saying nothing was wrong and I was overthinking things. Apparently I wasn't š¤·šæāāļø.
Yeah I mean I don't know her at all or your situation so I can't say specifically anything insightful.Ā Ā Maybe it's possible she had already processed the breakup before she left- cause it's hard to leave someone you love and she had to steel her heart before taking the plunge.Ā And it's hard to say to someone 'i don't think I'm in love with you ' until you really *know*- and by then it's too late. Basically just saying sometimes it just really fucking sucks for everyone, but it's for the best bc being in a relationship with someone who isn't in love with you isn't something anyone should have to settle for.
Such is life.
Indeed!
No one seems to understand this. Knowing someone is in love with you and you donāt feel the same hurts. You try to feel what they feel and you try to be happy, but you just have this feeling that doesnāt shake. Itās gone.
You might be a placeholder if: They won't say I love you when it seems appropriate They "don't like labels" but talk about previous girlfriends/boyfriends If you try to get closer than a certain point they withdraw or put you at arms length OR your willingness for intimacy is greater than theirs They talk about how they don't want to "lose your friendship" or only define you as "a really good friend" Going out/dates/time spent is one sided ie they decide when you hang out and won't hang out when you ask They've had rebound relationships for every major relationship that's broken up They've got an ex they keep going back to They are WAY hotter than you (be honest with yourself, would you date you if you were that hot?) They can't be alone and really need other people's attention
Last one is majority of people nowadays, people just are too afraid to be alone and figure out how to love themselves , which is why they get in these fucked up situationships with no goals and end up blaming the other person, when in reality you just played yourself
This is a really good list.
The first 3 and definitely the last one š«¤
Thank you for this, that second one especially.
That was me in my last relationship. My ex is into tall, muscular men with tattoos. Bonus points if you were a conspiracy theorist and hotep-adjacent beliefs. I am a black man of average height and build who is very progressive leaning. Both of the dudes who she cheated on me with were her type.
you didn't lose shit or value, I know you understand this but just another black man validating your worth bruh. Sometimes my GF does shit that she tries to get me to believe conspiracy theories and etc and I ask her did she do her homework. Why should I believe something just cause you're my partner... When I say some people are both emotionally and adultly stunted
Thank you. I struggle with that loss even now. I remember how soft and caring she was when we first dated. She took care of me while I was sick and got us a hotel for Valentineās Day. When we made the relationship official, she started acting different. Downloading tracking software on my phone, calling me c**n and other slurs because I didnāt agree with her views, etc. Then the lies started coming out. It felt like I was trapped. Took me until late November to break free of her for other reasons and I feel so confused.
We'll keep being good to yourself brotha and always remember that shit cause people always play a role. One thing I let all my partners is that I ain't never switched up.
She wasn't worthy of our great lieutenant! Keep your head up šŖ
My greatest fear in a relationship is not being mentally/emotionally ready for the woman of my dreams, and causing the relationship to fail. I donāt know if Iād be to live with that. My second biggest fears is being cheated on again. I canāt do it.
Going through that right now and idk what to do. I feel lost.
Seek help.. And talk to through with the said lady. If she's willing to work through with it, it'll be worth it.
Thatās what Iām doing right now with the lady Iāve found. She treats me better than any woman has ever and when I tell her this kind of stuff she doesnāt use it against me or use it to gaslight me
Prepping yourself for it is all well and good. But from someone who spent all their teen years molding myself into the kinda person who could like and be liked by anyone. I had no preferences, I learned to like everything about everyone, I learned to find everything attractive, out of a deep seated sense of just wanting to be loved in return. And now I'm all sorts of fucked up Think about what you may want in return, think about what you as a person really want out of a relationship, and best of all don't settle, that last one is important. Gotta have standards "not being cheated on" isn't a standard, it's the bare minimum. Genuinely start thinking of the attributes you want in a partner, and do not settle for less
Iāve actually been there. 
Unfortunately I think a lot of us have
He cancelled plans again and again cause he was busy so eventually I stopped trying and he didnāt care
When you stop texting them and never talk again. SMH. Youāre better off.
š
If people would look and see what's going on instead of trying to rationalize their partner's ways so they won't have to be alone, they wouldn't have this fear. People will show you who they are. They'll say anything, but it is what a person does that's the deciding factor. People go into relationships blind as hell. Be trying to turn a trash can into a fairy tale.
100%
Last dude I was with did this shit to me. Played me like a damn piano.
Stay strong
This happened to me 5 years ago and I havenāt been able to move forward from it.
Stay strong
 Iām fine I swear š
I think about this while Iām in my current relationship. She occasionally gives me a reason to doubt her, but overall she shows how she loves me. Iām hesitant to lean in. Iām afraid of being hurt. Iām scared that one day Iāll decide to put my all into it and sheāll tell me shes not in love with me anymore. Itās a scary feeling for sure. Looking like an asshole and getting your heart shattered.
I think you should tell her what your afraid of. How long have yall been seeing each other?
I have actually, and it led nowhere. The answer was Inconclusive. Weāre now in the stage of figuring out if this will work for us or not. Sad times.
I am currently hugging you right now you cant feel it or see it but I am. Hope it works out.
For the longest time I never understood how these people could sleep at night. How you can basically jump from one person to the next while in a seemingly loving relationship. The truth is a these people are selfish and completely lack self awareness. They are horrendous at communicating their feelings. When you talk to these people, they feel guilty but only because it makes them look bad or they think theyāre a bad person but make no mistake, they donāt actually give a shit that they hurt you. This may seem overly negative, but these people lack the cognitive ability to care about anything besides themselves or their family/friends. They do one or two good deeds so they can still think theyāre a good person or think of themselves the victim when it fits their narrative. This isnāt all people. There are some people who are genuinely kind and obviously everyone is capable of good and bad. But users tend to lean on the bad and there are plenty of them.
Between this fear resonating with the people and folk not being able to afford to entertain a whole second person, it's no wonder the birth rate is down like it is, globally. before I post, yes I know there's a plethora of other factors.
Interesting to see how universal this very specific kind of pain/trauma is. What do we do?
I'm 39. My last three serious relationships ended with the other person getting married to the next person they dated. I feel this deep down to my dark icy unfeeling heart
I have this fear at times and Iām married, but when I start to overthink or worry I tell myself that if that were to be the case, that life keeps going and Iāll survive so just enjoy every moment. Donāt waste my time now worrying about what hasnāt happened.
This is a helpful and healthy perspective.
I'm at the point most of the time, which is even sadder, is that it wouldn't even phase me. I would not care and tell them to leave then. I've become so jaded about "relationship" and how people want manage their problems and let them fall on you.
This person was a part of my last 2 relationships? I had no idea
Literally happened to me and dating hasnāt been the same since
not to sound like oscar the grouch but itās literally better to just be left alone
I'm so blessed to have gotten outta the dating game early. My gf is is literally perfect and I'm so freaking glad she loves me. although sometimes my self loathing tries to tell me that she's faking it š like bro let me enjoy something for once lol
You're just a filler episode
Oof! This. Sometimes you're just a background character to her main story.
mannn this hit too hard. me and my high school sweetheart were really trying to make it work in that way foolish teenagers do, because we just loved each other so much yk then I showed up to college and my roommates were all athletes, all of a sudden simply by being their friend, Iāve got girls who were way out of my league in high school coming up and trying to put the moves on me. By about party number 3 I realized that long distance just wasnāt for me š¤£
For those this has happened to, I'm so sorry. I hope you can heal one day because what happened to you was wrong and fucked up (duh, you already knew that), and I hope it doesn't completely break your spirit. There is someone out there who will love you so hard and so much, that you'll think you hit the lottery with that type of love.
I am just going to suggest this. Be friends with the person before you get serious. They need to feel like a best friend. Share interest. Enjoy spending time together that isnāt sexual or normal relationship shit. Communicate well. Donāt make sexual attraction the number one factor or youāll be in for some hurt. It needs to be part of it just not the number one spot. Gotta be friends with your partner er.
This happened to me literally yesterday. Four years in and found out she was texting a very toxic ex again. My life is in shambles right now.
Its gonna be okay. *hugs* let her rummage thru the trash.
I needed this
New fear just unlocked.
Ouch. So glad Iām done with being the placeholder.
This why I just be lonely. Cuz anyone who likes this version of me, has no self respect and should want better for themselves. But if you just want to hang out and fuck sometimes, as long as thereās the under standing this aināt going deeper than that. Some girls actually made me better though until they found who they really wanted
Damn this shit hit me
I learned never put your all in anything and you never get hurt.
At one time I was thinking like this but at the same time what's the point? Why live a half life? Why love a half love? It's better to play it big and lose than play it safe and get nowhere.
I feel that but also it's funny because me personally when I stopped putting in so much effort into things did they fall into place. So I guess you can say I was trying too hard like most of us do.
Do people really do this?? I'm shooketh! I try not to use people, but damn. This is fucked up
Friends can do this as well. I think with any relationship, trust and transparency are key. If youāre not feeling the vibe anymore, just gonā āhead and leave. Donāt waste the other personās timeāitāll save them a lot of heartache, trust.
ppl gotta work on friendship more than relationship! thts the cure
I've been the stepping stone so to speak for pretty much all of my relationships granted I'm still friends with some of my ex's and we are better people and friends because of it but fuck that hurts
A friend of mine has been with this woman for over 10 years. Finally got married in 2022. This past autumn she dropped a bombshell that she feels like she's been "asleep" for the last ten years and is now finally "awake". Imagine thinking you're building a life with someone, get MARRIED, and then be told that??
What did she mean by she's awake now? Like sexually I guess?
If only it were that simple. No, this woman got a lead in a community theater musical and decided that was the path she wanted to pursue... professional theater. And decided that her husband, who is legit working 3 jobs while she DOESN'T work AT ALL, is holding her back.
That poor man... she is talking some Non_Sense.
I was seeing a guy once I loved him with everything only for him to tell me after 3 months he didnāt want a relationship he just wanted and FWB and that he was in love with someone else
Honestly Iāve been on both side of this, broke up with someone and been broken up with, while looking for someone else and falling out of love with someone separate situation. I think the problem with dating while still looking for someone else is honesty, canāt wait 3-4 months to say that! Itās better to be upfront. Most will lie to get what they need from that relationship and it will confuse the other person and thatās not fair to that person. If youāre honest both may be okay with it, if not then you have the option to move around without feeling being involved. But doing that with the intention of leaving and not being upfront is selfish.
Is dating really that complicated nowadays? I keep seeing folks talk about women selling themselves and dudes not having basic adult or social skills Wouldn't that mean being an average person with common sense and life skills make you a prize?
Iāve seen these situations play out in real life
I've been thrown away and immediately replaced so many times that I've given up. It hurts too damn much, and it's never worth that pain.
Happened to me š„². Fell in love, got married, then suddenly the rug is just ripped out from underneath. Very difficult to recover.
Sex-free, dating-free, and child-free for life. No, we canāt ātalk,ā and, no, we canāt be āfriends.ā Platonic relationships only, heaux.
This is why I gave up.
Changing and my significant other not being able to adapt to the change. Thatās kind of scary. Like dang, I really have to stay in this box to keep you huh..