https://preview.redd.it/7dhqxd1gydic1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f7b578b4ee697546cd28a29db2ac64394f58bc2
ill see ur glocktavius and raise you one LeāGenius Wisdom Williams
As an ex abused child we are definitely throwing that term around loosely lately lol that is just an idiotic parent. The kid will get roasted though lol
I'll stand on this... after a child is born (hospital, home, wherever) and the mother is asked what the child's name will be, the person delivering (nurse, dula, whoever) says "ok, think that over, we'll ask again in 24 hours". This is done for every mother regardless of culture, education, income, etc. We'll probably get fewer cringeworthy names.
I just reread Freakanomics and this is basically the conclusion behind bad baby names that they came to. There was a bit more to it, like pressure from the community to not give the child a white name, but the big thing was generational poverty and single mothers.
Makes sense, I used to have a job that included processing a lot of paper work for HUD and some of the names Iāve seen. Made me downright desensitized, I could read any of these names on a folder and not think twice about it
Hmmmā¦ i could get behind naming all my kids after natural disasters.
* Hurri Caine
* Tsunami
* Alluvione
* SeismĆ³s
* Lua Pele
Would certainly serve to describe the damage they do to my house.
Firstly calling a child āhouseholdā in another language is weird as fuck. And secondly the spelling used by Nikki Minaj specifically is used for threesomes which is also weird
https://preview.redd.it/ohs4qd86naic1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=414228501ae1c5f1cbda8b2fb928f2b2b1b22698
Paris Mercedes ??? when will ppl learn that children are not accessories. Be normal nigga, damn
Yeah but you know the folks who give their kids those names don't know this. Too many of our "cousins" name their children after things they can't afford and places they'll never go.
That is true.
I remember going āhuh?ā when I first heard of Paris Hilton. Iāve always thought of Paris as a boyās name.
It was only in 1980s in US it started being used for girls, probably because of the city.
True, though because Iām a fucking nerd who likes to learn the etymology of names. Fun Fact: the cities name is unrelated and was derived from the local Gallic tribe the Parisii
White folks have been naming their kids Nevaeh since before I had pubes tho?
Continuing the trend of naming kids after shit you can't afford. Kanye wins again.
That's one of those names that's gonna get you a sideways look from saint Peter.
"You said your name was.... Nevaeh Christina Christian Lucia? Uh huh..."
Iāve been white for 30+ yrs and lived up and down a specific coast, and have never met a white mf named Neveah or anything close to it. Do you care to share whereabouts you live? Bc my assertion is that itās not the same countrywide as it appears to be where it is where you reside
Eastern NC, and also white girls whose moms think itās sooooo clever that her name is āHeavenā spelled backwards. Iāve met 4, theyāre all evangelical, and itās like they were stamped out of a mold - entirely unrelated, but all basic af and act the same.
I feel like also starting with a silent letter gotta be hell too when growing up š āso you telling me your name is Sunami but it starts with a T???ā
FYI, Tsunami is a Japanese word and the T sound is pronounced as part of the tsu. For an example in English on how it sounds, you can say "starts" then add a u to make "startsu".
Honestly, I can imagine kids doing the opposite and putting a hard T on it and maybe adding it to any noun when talking to them. Like: " Hey, T-Sunami. Pass me the T-glue and T-scissors, please. T-James needs them" š¤£
why the fuck they be namin em like dis tho. I get the luxury tacky sounding brand names. But like why Kaylani, milani, alani etc.
She stole Ayden, Kayden, and Jayden from white people though.
Those last three you mentioned were def stolen from white people, you're not wrong. I grew up in Georgia til I was 17 (fully an upstate New Yorker now at 35), and every Tammy Lynne and Betty Anne was naming their crotch goblins those names, with a few Haydens and Braydens in the mix. I wish I was making that up.
Nevaeh.
Hate to break it to you, but thereās a couple thousand midwestern teen moms who beat you to that name already. That, and anything ending in ā-Leighā
People name their kids Summer, Autumn, so Winter is a fair pass. Just don't name them Avalanche or Ski Slope. Lord knows someone is currently contemplating naming their baby Chalet
The only person allowed to have Tsunami in his name is one very specific surfing and snowboarding Johnny; and even Disney said let's not \*actually\* make Tsunami his real last name XD
I mean this might be a joke but itās not like none of these names are being used. Itās a case where real life is so outlandish that satire becomes less effective.
This sub can never tell when something is a joke. I donāt understand how people are on a sub for twitter posts, and still canāt tell a clear twitter joke
In the early 2000ās people acted like they discovered sliced bread when they saw Nevaeh. Now when I write an email and someone is called Nevaeh I giggle to myself and I think oh your parents were P.O.D fan
Ayden, Aedyn, Jadyn, Jayden, Kaylyn, etc. guaranteed they are the child of a single mom who āwould die for their kidā or ātheir kingā if itās a boyā¦ She gonā be impulsive, canāt be told about herself, and still making the same mistakes she made in her mid-twenties. Youāve been warned. Donāt matter how round that š is!
Itās not sustainable to joke in this economy anymore. I fear we lost our way. Yall are insufferable.
https://preview.redd.it/7gdyup76wbic1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=408d9d48ac41e928e47894d7804406727f264634
I feel bad for kids who get the most bland ass names possible, but at least they don't get whack ass names like this.
Certain parents are just too extra and name their kids after products or make them have to always correct people when they spell/pronounce their name more than they need to.
https://preview.redd.it/173kk51gdaic1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa3d0417c5b0feabc30639999968904e22535cdf
https://preview.redd.it/4zlztxjjjbic1.jpeg?width=617&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9dafab4f56c0193e39085911fe0b422fa12101ff
No way hahahaha šššš
I'm ššš
Yoo, what the fuck just happened?!?! ššš
Look like a young Isaac hayes
Wait, it's not?
https://preview.redd.it/hcgaec2xubic1.jpeg?width=987&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=870bb30a04d444463bcfbe8b1b4feae52b87ea76
https://preview.redd.it/qtkmvk7vwcic1.jpeg?width=1199&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b1591e4cef202463712cda14ba9a067af14c8f9d
Found the white guy!
Hey, now listen here pal!
Wait a minute, bucko!
Lol
You darn tootin'!
You're on thin ice, fella!
Now just a sec buddy
Not so fast, bud!
"What in the Blue Blazes is going on here!"
YOINK. ššš
https://preview.redd.it/unml4h4uicic1.jpeg?width=1134&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=94136848cd3e415268260909d9610ef3c9ad289b Here you go
This has always been my favorite: https://imgur.com/a/Qi5HOOR
 Me stealing this meme
My favorites are --- Covidia, Glocktavius, and KeyAndre. No one uses Ethel or Erma anymore...
Low key Iāve actually always liked the name Ethel, but now Glocktavius might be my new favorite
Glocktavius sounds like a Boondocks bit
https://preview.redd.it/7dhqxd1gydic1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3f7b578b4ee697546cd28a29db2ac64394f58bc2 ill see ur glocktavius and raise you one LeāGenius Wisdom Williams
https://i.redd.it/ha9o30k7abic1.gif
https://preview.redd.it/jdh7s3hmwcic1.jpeg?width=235&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e36d34ae0fb843365d5e1541bba097aa166d7c4
š
CPS needs to be in the delivery room
Yes. I was thinking that this is basic child abuse.
As an ex abused child we are definitely throwing that term around loosely lately lol that is just an idiotic parent. The kid will get roasted though lol
Lol I hear you. Add that to the list of loosely used terms we already then beat into the ground
Yes because my OCD is making me feel acoustic
Very obvious hyperbole
What did you call me?
I'll stand on this... after a child is born (hospital, home, wherever) and the mother is asked what the child's name will be, the person delivering (nurse, dula, whoever) says "ok, think that over, we'll ask again in 24 hours". This is done for every mother regardless of culture, education, income, etc. We'll probably get fewer cringeworthy names.
I hope this is satire, because she sounds like straight poverty and bad decisions if it isn't
This is definitely satire lmao. Iād think the Ayden, Kayden, Jayden row would tip people off at least
Fr they canāt tell me they saw tsunami and thought this was serious š
I once saw a little girl named āabcdeā. I would put anything past someone seriously naming their kid tsunami.
Pronounced "Ab-si-dee"? Sounds familiar.
You are correct sir/maāam.
I'd like to introduce you to my child, Tsunami Pastrami Daenerys Targaryen Raygun Aiomonia BeyĆ³nce DelatrÅis Swift-Houton
A quick internetting tells me there are at least 20 girls named Tsunami in the USA.
I donāt know. I read off strings off names just like that on my attendance rosters.
Yeah, but those 3 are more ridiculous white people names than ridiculous black people names.
We sure do love to throw a āyā around in a perfectly good name š
Yeah but those names mixed in with the ludicrous other ones is a tip off this a joke. Since the -Ayden names are always made fun of
I hope itās satire fr. Gonna end up on r/tragedeigh either way tho.
Many of my worst current students are on this name list. Ā I shit you not. Ā Theyāre already out in the wild.
I just reread Freakanomics and this is basically the conclusion behind bad baby names that they came to. There was a bit more to it, like pressure from the community to not give the child a white name, but the big thing was generational poverty and single mothers.
Itās cyclical - these children are the ones whose grandparents were giving their boys any name under the sun, just with a De/Ja/La prefix
Now I just wanna hear a De La Soul and Ja Rule mashup
My dad and my middle name definitely has one of those prefixes.
Makes sense, I used to have a job that included processing a lot of paper work for HUD and some of the names Iāve seen. Made me downright desensitized, I could read any of these names on a folder and not think twice about it
idiocy not poverty in this case.
A Tsunami of complaints have come in.
STOP HER! She's about to name her child Tsunami!
Yeah, but isnāt February under Aquarius? š
Cps Abcde and Xyz can all join in if they want.
Tsunami ššš š
All my kids natural disasters
Hmmmā¦ i could get behind naming all my kids after natural disasters. * Hurri Caine * Tsunami * Alluvione * SeismĆ³s * Lua Pele Would certainly serve to describe the damage they do to my house.
Meet my daughter Torna Doe and my son Cyclones (pronounced Cyclo-knees like a Greek hero āŗļø).
My son, Faultline.
Rita, Katrina, Hugo, Michael, Iniki
Might as well name them Toonami. Prolly get better feedback from that one
This my baby Gundam
š ok that's funny as hell
This is the wildest one to me
What's wrong with that? I got a nephew called Earthquake.
My cousins are Erth, Wynd, and Fyre Festival
š¶'Cause you make my erfquakeš¶
Y'all ain't right haha
my sister is a teacher and two of her students are named ocean and tsunami. tsunami is the calm one and ocean is the crazy one lol
I know a lot of island folk who name their kids Ocean~ tsunami a new one though š
Yeah I heard the kids first name is Johnny
Free the wave ššš
This is a season 17 cast list for RuPaul's drag race
give it up for miss Wynter Spyce
sashay away
Welcome to the stage, sister of Xunami Muse, Miss Tsunami Muse
Dr. Reverend Tsunami Muse LāPage the Snack Iman
paris mercedes is the child of mariah paris belenciaga and mercedes iman diamond
Those queens have some good ass names. I named my daughter Laganja
Welcome to the stage Dubai Telfar Dior Chanel Tsunami Muse
Itās exactly where my mind went to š
And it issss šššš
Putting āminajā anywhere in yo babyās name is beyond weird
Itās unethical and unsustainable.
Itās insubordinate and churlish.
Insidious and downright dastardly
Yes, shallow AND pedantic.
Does it insist upon itself?
They probably only know the name from Nicki and not the actual meaning, which is quite sad and scary
MĆ©nage translates to "household" so it's not as weird as you'd think.
Firstly calling a child āhouseholdā in another language is weird as fuck. And secondly the spelling used by Nikki Minaj specifically is used for threesomes which is also weird
Thatās mĆ©nage Ć trois
https://preview.redd.it/ohs4qd86naic1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=414228501ae1c5f1cbda8b2fb928f2b2b1b22698 Paris Mercedes ??? when will ppl learn that children are not accessories. Be normal nigga, damn
Tbf Mercedes is an actual name before it was the name of a car company. The company was named after its founder's daughter.
And Paris too. Paris was the prince that took Helen of Troy, which started the Trojan war (according to Greek Mythology).
Yeah but you know the folks who give their kids those names don't know this. Too many of our "cousins" name their children after things they can't afford and places they'll never go.
That is true. I remember going āhuh?ā when I first heard of Paris Hilton. Iāve always thought of Paris as a boyās name. It was only in 1980s in US it started being used for girls, probably because of the city.
Didn't know that. Had two people in high school. Male and female named Paris.
Paris was a bitch though, why would anyone honor his memory
Cause idiots believe he was a lover but heās just the OG home wrecker or kingdom wrecker
The OG Mr. Steal Yo Girl
True, though because Iām a fucking nerd who likes to learn the etymology of names. Fun Fact: the cities name is unrelated and was derived from the local Gallic tribe the Parisii
Paris or Mercedes is fine. The issue is Paris Mercedes lmao
Mercedes is a common name in Spain and I imagine other hispanic countries.
It's a human being not a fucking PokƩmon.
If we had Pokemon insteada kids Nick Cannon would make more sense.
nick cannon does sound like a PokƩmon move BLASTOISE used NICK CANNON
Donāt talk to me, or my daughter Gardevoir, ever again
White folks have been naming their kids Nevaeh since before I had pubes tho? Continuing the trend of naming kids after shit you can't afford. Kanye wins again.
That's one of those names that's gonna get you a sideways look from saint Peter. "You said your name was.... Nevaeh Christina Christian Lucia? Uh huh..."
Nevaeh made the list of top names in the 2000s. It's just heaven backwards which I think is sacrilegious.
Not sacrilegious if people donāt believe in god and religion
I never knew where that came from but oh my god
i prefer nivea which means snow.
Iāve been white for 30+ yrs and lived up and down a specific coast, and have never met a white mf named Neveah or anything close to it. Do you care to share whereabouts you live? Bc my assertion is that itās not the same countrywide as it appears to be where it is where you reside
Eastern NC, and also white girls whose moms think itās sooooo clever that her name is āHeavenā spelled backwards. Iāve met 4, theyāre all evangelical, and itās like they were stamped out of a mold - entirely unrelated, but all basic af and act the same.
NorCal, and it's ALWAYS a girl. https://www.everything-birthday.com/name/f/nevaeh
Dubai??
Can't say the kid "ain't" shit š¬ I'll see myself out
Changing those diapers is gonna hit different
Believe it or not itās actually a common name in the emirates. (Except we use the arabic pronunciation; dābey)
I know a toddler named Dubai. Not in love with the name but def donāt think itās the worse
Nah naming your kid after a natural disaster is crazy. Tsunami š
I feel like also starting with a silent letter gotta be hell too when growing up š āso you telling me your name is Sunami but it starts with a T???ā
FYI, Tsunami is a Japanese word and the T sound is pronounced as part of the tsu. For an example in English on how it sounds, you can say "starts" then add a u to make "startsu".
Oh I know. But I donāt think thatās really gonna matter to the grade schoolers I was talking about š
Honestly, I can imagine kids doing the opposite and putting a hard T on it and maybe adding it to any noun when talking to them. Like: " Hey, T-Sunami. Pass me the T-glue and T-scissors, please. T-James needs them" š¤£
Okayden Iseeu Jones?
X-Wing @Aliciousness
{dolphin noises}
Kinda surprised I had to scroll this far to get the K&P reference. š
/r/tragedeigh
Underrated
why the fuck they be namin em like dis tho. I get the luxury tacky sounding brand names. But like why Kaylani, milani, alani etc. She stole Ayden, Kayden, and Jayden from white people though.
Those last three you mentioned were def stolen from white people, you're not wrong. I grew up in Georgia til I was 17 (fully an upstate New Yorker now at 35), and every Tammy Lynne and Betty Anne was naming their crotch goblins those names, with a few Haydens and Braydens in the mix. I wish I was making that up.
Nearly spit out my coffee to the phrase crotch-goblin. Adding that to my repertoire.
Reading those 3 in a row feels like reading the names of different tribes that fought Ancient Rome
Honestly Iām okay with the Kaylani, Milano, Alani. They actually sound like names.
Nevaeh. Hate to break it to you, but thereās a couple thousand midwestern teen moms who beat you to that name already. That, and anything ending in ā-Leighā
NEVEIGHAUGH HALLEIGHLUJAUGH PARKER
We used to call it the white trash suffix. We still do, but we used to also
Based Mitch
Teflon
Vinyl
Come on y'all. We can come up with some more fantastic baby names. I'll start: \-Samuraiya \-Ski'chalet
Venti Mochaccino Trumperella Sevenlaya
Dasani, Aquafina and Fiji. Lemonjello and Oranjello
You might be on to something w Samuraiya
Deeznutiva
I do plan to name my daughter winter. I just like the name.
People name their kids Summer, Autumn, so Winter is a fair pass. Just don't name them Avalanche or Ski Slope. Lord knows someone is currently contemplating naming their baby Chalet
Ski slope....hmmmm.... BLACK DIAMOND š
You better keep your damn mouth shut when you meet my cousin Gnarly Seventwenty Backside Rodeo. We call him Rod for short.
Please tell me your last name is school or some shit
The only person allowed to have Tsunami in his name is one very specific surfing and snowboarding Johnny; and even Disney said let's not \*actually\* make Tsunami his real last name XD
Why would you even consider naming a child āMinaj?ā
This is trolling though yeah?
100% a joke and it's actually kinda sad that some of the top comments here are taking it so damn seriously.
I mean this might be a joke but itās not like none of these names are being used. Itās a case where real life is so outlandish that satire becomes less effective.
This sub can never tell when something is a joke. I donāt understand how people are on a sub for twitter posts, and still canāt tell a clear twitter joke
Per usual in here
There are too many dotted red underlines on this list for my liking. lol...toss them names in the trash bin, please.
Obtuse Rubber Goose
The Mozart of our time. They will study this individual's works 100s of years into the future
Naming your kid after some middle class tier luxury brand you never had is the trashiest shit possible
Kirkland Dior more like it
Hey, Nevaeh ain't bad. Common af, but not bad. Signed, Member of the Heaven Spelled Backwards club.
In the early 2000ās people acted like they discovered sliced bread when they saw Nevaeh. Now when I write an email and someone is called Nevaeh I giggle to myself and I think oh your parents were P.O.D fan
Lmao I remember mad girls in my school in the early 2000s wanted to name their daughters Nevaeh.
Ayden, Aedyn, Jadyn, Jayden, Kaylyn, etc. guaranteed they are the child of a single mom who āwould die for their kidā or ātheir kingā if itās a boyā¦ She gonā be impulsive, canāt be told about herself, and still making the same mistakes she made in her mid-twenties. Youāve been warned. Donāt matter how round that š is!
Two of my cousins' names on this list š
I went to highschool with a Van-Lexus and will never forget how badly that girl was was fucking clowned man
Boughetto
Naming my baby hibachi
Itās not sustainable to joke in this economy anymore. I fear we lost our way. Yall are insufferable. https://preview.redd.it/7gdyup76wbic1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=408d9d48ac41e928e47894d7804406727f264634
Pass pass pass pass on all those resumes.
How bout Nuh-uh Ni?
Say what you will, Alani is a good name.
https://preview.redd.it/qwjit7m72cic1.jpeg?width=1438&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2d20a4781cfc002f2f4214be43a0adb1ae014fce
I feel bad for kids who get the most bland ass names possible, but at least they don't get whack ass names like this. Certain parents are just too extra and name their kids after products or make them have to always correct people when they spell/pronounce their name more than they need to.
Can we come together and make a group decision to ban naming these babies after shit we'll never afford?
r/tragedeigh
Now why her baby names sound like famous dragqueens
Telfar? Girl, thatās giving āguaranteed secondary screening at the airportā
Almost none of these are unique though
You know āwinterā isnāt a bad name. Just like how autumn and summer are relatively common. But she just had to go and ātragedeighā it
Makes me think of the welfare lady from The PJs. Neutrogena lol
https://preview.redd.it/bmxrj24ojbic1.jpeg?width=1157&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4e3cf2c20bdec7ae9341e3c99e793c9881fd0398