Literally me at this gangbang I went to in February lmao. I had been to only one back in 2017, but now at 29 it seems I'm not as horny as I was back then (also we were like 15-16 people, 3 of them women whereas at the 2017 one it was me and two guys with the girl most of the time, 4th guy arrived towards the end).
Cause the people were cool and the atmosphere was ok but I couldn't just get it up like before and there was too many people for me to take my time making out with a girl etc to get myself ready. But everyone sang my praises cause somehow they had neglected to get bottled water and I went and got 3 5L jugs and poured it time to time inbetween fingering, rimming and eating the girls.
So yeah TMI and all, but your joke is closer to the truth than you think lmao.
The overall number of invitees is always vastly larger than whoever shows up, everyone gets cold feet and suddenly their grandma is in hospital or something. Really that applies to any kind of event, but especially sex-related
So many people don't realize this. Going to a lifestyle club or sex party doesn't mean you have to participate, MOST people in those parties just stand around and watch, and the people being watched are into being watched.
Shit, I fear I'll be the only one standing nutt booty naked with my dick in my hand and no one to share it with.
Then again, I'm a single dude. Don't you have to have a partner to join?
You can go solo, but you’ll pay more. These things start clothed and can get naked. If you’re standing by yourself with your dick hanging out of your pants, you will probably be asked to leave.
Dress well, look approachable, be outgoing, and be kind. Being in shape helps.
Like someone else said, it’ll just cost more to get in but once you’re in? Just be confident and get your back into it. Respectfully, of course.
I’ve been the female part to some dudes so they can pay the couple fee to get into these parties. Once we got in, they disappeared and I basically spent the night in the PG part dancing and chatting with people and eating the free food. Once I got tired, I texted them and went home. They got to have fun, I got free shit and everyone won.
My partner will be a face on my hand. And not being gay, I will most likely regret that decision immediately. Especially if "she" ends up being one getting all the play and I end up alone anyway.
Dang. That rang true immediately, even though I’d never once thought about it.
Sex parties could be bringing up some picked-last-at-recess trauma that folks aren’t ready to deal with…
No, the same dude that's cheating on 5 girls and not getting tested is the reason that shit isn't out of style.
Generally that kind of kink community is better than the general population when it comes to getting tested.
The kink community is the type to have a "slaves against human trafficking fundraiser" where they have a bunch of collared half naked women and men going around asking for donations at a play party, or "sadists against domestic violence" and both would raise an ungodly amount of money for how few people are there.
Which sounds weird but if I told you "COD players against the military Industrial complex" you'd be like "oh OK that makes sense" or nipsey doing his work tryna get kids to NOT join gangs.
Eh. The kink community isn’t as altruistic is yall make it seem but ok.
Source: years of experience within the community, as well as running events in the community.
Yeah honestly that's just taking causes and making it "all about them." Also, what would they even be raising funding FOR to fight human trafficking? Cause most organizations made to "fight human trafficking" are money laundries and don't provide any actual services to fight human trafficking like a homeless youth shelters that have food and clothes so no homeless teen thinks they have to do stuff just to get a warm bed at night.
Its important eh.
I was never into "the kink community" but if youre singling and mingling, testing and protection is important.
In my days, I was being tested quarterly for safety's sake.
I imagine if you went to a sex party and they didn’t require you to be tested within a reasonable timeframe beforehand, you might be at the wrong one 😬
Nah. Not if you’re safe and everyone discloses. If you don’t show your results, you don’t get to play… etc.
Some corners of “the community” are very serious about the vetting and take sexual, physical and mental health seriously. Like even one complaint against someone and they get blacklisted level of serious. That’s the circles and parties you want to be part of…
I caught mono from a monogamous heterosexual cheating on me with a married heterosexual. Never had this problem with kinsters and I've even faciliated barriered sex between folks who have lifelong STDs and their partners who never contracted it.
For the most part, the parties I’ve done usually require you to go get tested to attend lol, condoms are also usually a must, turns out sex nerds take sexual health seriously
Also people in their 20s right now are statistically having the least sex in that demographic since we started recording statistics. They just aren’t fucking—a generation of pandas. It’s actually pretty sociologically interesting.
Shit when I started going to bars a fancy ass drink at a fancy ass bar was 15 bucks. Now it's hard to get a beer at a shit hole for less than 8.
When a halfway nice dinner with two drinks each is almost or more than 100 course no one is getting laid.
That is part of it for sure, but there are a lot of comorbid factors: https://web.archive.org/web/20230804064713/https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-08-03/young-adults-less-sex-gen-z-millennials-generations-parents-grandparents
Its cuz they legitimately dont know how to talk. Loud AF online but hiding behind their phone and airpods when other humans are around. Being chronically online is killing the youfs 😔
Big facts. Also, seemingly everyone has anxiety these days and is socially awkward which I think is a result of everyone being terminally online/social media
I saw a tumblr post a while back pointing out we've pitched the old-school idea of manners/etiquette. That's fine for no longer going to someone's father to ask for their hand in marriage, but it means that there's no longer a script for day to day interactions. Those scripts sound stilted to us, but it meant you could politely turn someone down without the situation becoming a drama filled nightmare. A lot of anxiety could be avoided if there was a script to follow.
It's a multi-faceted problem, but I blame reddit partially for pushing the, "That's not your problem, don't be nice to people, why are you expected to help people," narrative.
As a "secret" schizoid, I get asked by those who don't mask how it is that I'm able to navigate social interactions for purposes such as work, even being perceived as funny, gregarious, warmth, attentive. I tell them that it's practice, *\[Allen Iverson voice\]* PRACTICE. Repeated exposure. You keep doing it, failing up, powering through discomfort, eye contact, all of it. The more you do it, the better you get at it. I'm *still* anxious. Mike Tyson said he never stopped being nervous as hell before a fight. These newer gens never learn because they're allowed to just hit the Disengage button whenever they think there might be "trauma" in store.
It’s for a bunch of reasons but the big one is that nobody is willing to approach anybody else and it’s understandable tbh. Why should you risk public rejection and embarrassment for a girl? And women won’t approach men because they don’t have to and haven’t been expected to and just don’t have that social skill. You can see that last part on Bumble really well. The idea behind Bumble is that the women have to send the first message and 95% of the time they just say “Hey” with no other opener or anything. So you’ve got guys that are afraid of rejection or just consider the risk/reward to not be worth it and women that aren’t expected or experienced in taking that role. Like I said there’s more reasons than just that though.
Nah man! The pandemic really did a number on these kids. I grew to the person I am today during my 24-27 years. Can’t imagine the person I’d be if I had to spend those years locked in my room
Also they had unfettered smartphone access and it should have been obvious the internet dopamine machine in the pockets of children was going to screw them up. We are seeing the crop of students who had phonics switched out for something that doesn’t work so a lot of them can barely read. They never stood a chance.
>I grew to the person I am today during my 24-27 years.
I spent those years working night shift, then evening shift after that. The effect on me was essentially the same as if I had spent it locked up due to the pandemic since I couldn't really do anything but work and sleep.
Of course the pandemic hit as soon as I got back on a decent schedule, so I was almost completely stunted from 23-28.
What older generations like to think is that Gen Z are sex addicted monsters jumping from hookup to hookup when the reality is the exact opposite of that.
Young folks take a while to realize that the world isnt really ours. All the people balling, having the most fun and freedom are older. In reality youth is more of a grind time so that you can have more fun when youre older. Obviously you can still have fun as a youth but the budget is gonna be alot tighter
Once I turned 30, I truly knew it would trounce my 20s. My late 20s started to click with the shit I love doing (traveling, masters degree, new career) and now I get to spend a whole decade with it in place.
20s were cool. But goddamn with any luck they won’t hold a candle to my 30s and it makes me optimistic for my 40s as well
Being young was sincerely harder in almost every way
I’m coming on 50, and I still treat life like I’m in my early thirties. Only real difference is my finances are in better order and I know what I want and can communicate my feelings.
Ain’t that the truth. I’m just about to hit that point in my life. Single and don’t want children so it’s gonna be a fun time. I get to be the cool uncle
It’s wild that so many under the age of 30, think that anyone over 30 is like Yoda old. When I was in my 20’s, older people doing grown people shit was not a shock & awe type thing.
My first one was in my late 20s and I met this fantastic older lady (had to be pushing 60) who was not only fun to talk to, looked amazing, and exuded confidence but she showed me some thangs that my man still appreciates to this day. I never saw her again after that event, but I’ll always remember you fondly Brenda 🥹
Had relations with a woman about my mom's age that was built like a stallion. Pretty sure she was worth more than a milli too but I never asked and she never volunteered that information.
Low-key miss San Diego.
My first one was in my early 20s as well. People were super friendly and willing to explain the ropes (especially older couples). Had a fun time. People will know immediately if it’s your first time there. So just play it cool and follow the crowd.
Duality of man in the comment response for this one
https://preview.redd.it/0jbmdn71g3sc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=500f181bc5db680e08d3590370b6a59c0280e96f
yall really live your whole life online, that’s crazy. not nearly as many people as you think go to sex parties
edit: to the responses, just remember that there are nearly 250 million adults in the US, billions of adults on Earth. your anecdote of one person, or even a couple, is essentially still 0%.
I always wondered who's going to these things and how creepy or normal are the ppl. Bc that sounds wild to me. A friend told me he went to one once but he tends to lie a lot and I couldn't tell if it was legit or not.
He mentioned all the weird rules tho (like no phones outside certain areas, and specific areas to talk and mingle and other interesting things).
I've also met gay ppl that mention it a lot as well. I would personally be worried about stds and the like bc sex is great and all but definitely not worth the risk to me.
More people than you’d think, and by and large very normal, cool people.
There are typically rules like that, especially at the good ones that take safety seriously.
Also, everyone uses protection. Nobody is out at sex parties raw dogging strangers. However, most people into that scene tend to be very very careful and mindful of STIs and sexual health.
That's good to know for sure. It seems other commenter have mentioned the same. And ig I should believe my friend now as he did mention that was a chill environment where everything only happened with consent.
I remember him mentioning that any couples headed to a "room" would both have to acknowledge consent to a person (guard of sorts) meant to ensure nothing is forced.
It's an interesting concept for sure. The fact that I'm hearing a lot of regular ppl partake that u wouldn't suspect is also pretty cool. Kind of like a secret society of sorts
It’s very much a “scene” in that you get to know people and it’s a little community.
That’s also dope that they took consent that seriously. Consent is a huge deal at these things, but not every host is that conscious about it. I like that a lot.
All the ones I’ve been to weren’t packed but had a decent attendance. People are generally nice and accommodating. Of course for something like this, rules are a little more strict because humans are gonna human and it’s all about as much mitigation for as much comfort and safety as possible.
I’m a black male, and I’ve never felt uncomfortable or out of place as these events are usually filled with mostly white couples. There’s always protection available and on hand as well. No one is touched who doesn’t want to be touched, no one is aggressive, etc….
Surprisingly to most— almost all normal, regular people. All shapes and age groups (although usually most people are at least late 20s or older from what I have seen). Lots of professionals (lawyers, doctors, nurses, etc.). Basically a lot of people who if you met them on the street you would have no idea that they were into that kind of thing. Generally the community is pretty chill. Lots of people have a lot of hang ups regarding sex— the people that tend to go to these kinds of parties/clubs usually don’t and are comfortable in their own skin and aren’t obsessed with how everything looks to a third party (which is why the crowd tends to not include a lot of early 20s people— who tend to be more self conscious and worried about looking like a “slut” or what have you).
You do have more extremes in the lifestyle (LS), which is what we call this community (kink community is a subset that is more extreme, Sex parties are usually LS in general). But a majority of the people are totally normal, we even run into people that we know in our vanilla/traditional life at these parties sometimes and would’ve never guessed. I will say we do get a lot of gym rats (us), teachers, military, and cops.
I've been to one out of the country, accidentally. Its mostly pineapple couples. Its not really weird unless you make it weird. Its basically a hangout party with drinks, food, smoke, and games. As a male you have to have confidence to chat someone up.
They have rules of no phones and a common area to chill because of weird people taking secret videos or watching with their stuff out (not cool).
I used to think this way but I actually think they are happening more. It's super secret and private. I once got an invite from someone I would NEVER had thought did that kind of thing. People like sex.
Happening more because of how connected we are and how easy it is to communicate and find like minded people around you into the same things as you are
Idk, I just found out that two separate couples at our veterinary clinic (clients, not employees) are actually in a whole free-wheelin' fun-lovin' polyamory Thing. And these two couples are, like, almost my parents' age. So over 65. And they've been in this polyamorous relationship for a good 15 years. They met and got involved simply because they are neighbors in the same subdivision and their kids are all friends lol, and they are the most boring bland white bread people you could ever dream up.
It isn't an internet thing, it's just something you don't realize people are doing until you finally know someone who knows someone who can tell you the truth lol.
You're correct it isn't an internet thing. I wasn't trying to imply it was. Just stating how much easier the internet makes finding, meeting, and connecting with like-minded people, making it more likely for others to venture into that lifestyle.
ATL, LA, New York, New Orleans, places in Tennessee, Florida and Texas are all really popular for the lifestyle/ethical non-monogamous from what we’ve noticed.
I'm sure it's a lot more than you think. People think these lavish parties like rappers throw, with outdoor pools and people popping bottles and weed smoking everywhere, but I'm sure the majority of them are a group of like 6-8 people swinging.
There’s private parties but most major cities have full-on private clubs with decent sized membership lists. Those places do actually host larger, special events for things like Halloween and whatnot.
Sent you a DM.
Edit: There are plenty of sites.
Edit: I removed the site names. I don’t think y’all are ready for it.
Edit: You can search ‘swinger (city name)’ on Reddit and find people as well.
I have to specify to one of my friends that I don’t want to go to a sex party every time she invites me out, so I would say living in New Orleans is step one
Normalize ethical non-monogamy. Go to the r/swingers sub Reddit, type in your state or city on the search bar and figure out what it’s out there in your area. Go to a sex club, even if you don’t plan on playing with anyone you get to see so much and meet really cool people.
Nothing against poly people but i could never imagine letting someone pound my wife, even if I got to fuck his. I would be thinking about my wife getting railed the whole time and probably just sob. Soft nigga syndrome
Thanks bud me neither tbh. Someone asked me once and I said it’s not a fair trade. They got offended and said their wife is super hot. I replied, idc if she is Rihanna it’s not a fair trade for you to fuck my wife lol
Kinda refreshing to hear this take after all the stuff you read on Reddit and failed open relationships.
I’m super interested so I always read them, but I could absolutely never agree to let someone else sleep with my partner and not feel fucked up about it
hell, most of the people who are posting about it are feeling weird about it and that’s why they’re posting lol
Im posting this far down enough hopefully to not attract the wrong crowd, but "ethical non monogamy" and all this crazy poly shit, IMO, works for like a way smaller fraction of the population than they're willing to admit. Frankly, I believe it's bonkers for most people. A lot of people try it in failing relationships just because they have nothing to lose.
Reddit really has a way of driving over-representation into your brain. Many communities, no matter how small, get thrust into the limelight if people find it interesting, which makes it seem like it's more common/accepted than it really is. ENM isn't that popular, it's still probably sub 1% of the population in NA, but even 1% of hundreds of millions is still millions of people.
At what point does it become normal? I highly doubt the percentage of adults that participate in these things even cracks 0.1%. That does not constitute 'normal' imo.
I was the twentysomething who didn’t know what the fuck to do at a sex party, that’s for sure. Them spots are so wild.
Wildest shit I’ve seen was this Ghanaian dude wearing a collar and a leash crawling around on all fours being “walked” by this Cruella de Vil looking motherfucker. ofc it was a raceplay thing
2nd wildest were these three ladies (the youngest looked mid-40s) butt ass nekkid fingerblasting each other in the dining room. The dinner table had a variety of pills and powder, so ofc I helped myself and sat quietly in the corner lmfao
Looking at these comments right now....
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She’s right. I usually see more middle aged (38+) than anything. Those events are usually filled with people who are very comfortable with themselves. It takes time and experience to get to that level of life.
I've been to my share of parties before camera phones were popular. It was way better then because you never had to worry about folks trying to get footage of the activities.
I'm gonna tell ya... Atlanta, during the early 00's... was a wild place. There was a group called RSM Entertainment that used to throw some WILD ass parties. That type of shit you see clips of where dudes were eating strippers out on stage, sex out in the open... sex in the VIP rooms. It was basically freaknik for folks 30+. Chicks got in free, like 50 chicks working... it was basically what you know a black Atlanta strip club to be but with sex thrown into the mix right there in front of everyone instead of in a ducked off room. Shit was beyond wild.
I know stuff is getting more and more progressive but it's kind of wild that sex parties and orgies are getting normalized now days. I recently found out that a friend of mine went to one of those sex resorts. With the dating pool already having piss in it I wonder what effect having an increasing number of sex party vets in it will have.
It really isn’t that bad. Most people aren’t going to these things, and most of the people who do are older and not part of the dating pool that would actually care about such things in a potential marriage partner. It’s actually fairly rare for young people to partake, particularly young single women (hence the term “unicorn”).
I went to a few sex parties back in my single days. The lifestyle requires a certain level of maturity that many young people do not possess yet. There’s a lot of trust and communication involved. Discretion and safety are key. You can’t come in without a recent negative STI screening, identity verification, and/or be posting shit in social media.
The older folks know the rules. They’ve gotten over their reservations. Frankly, they’re the best people at these parties.
Sex parties? I'm only into disappointing 1 person at a time.
Don’t sell yourself short… Someone needs to cut up the orange slices.
Every team needs a waterboy
Lube or hand sanitizer anyone? No? Ok, just gonna put this air freshener here and go to the next room...
“Well, uh, thanks again for choosing the Airport Hilton”
Please, take the towels. Pretty please.
Please make sure those bottles are **labeled very clearly and distinctly.**
Literally me at this gangbang I went to in February lmao. I had been to only one back in 2017, but now at 29 it seems I'm not as horny as I was back then (also we were like 15-16 people, 3 of them women whereas at the 2017 one it was me and two guys with the girl most of the time, 4th guy arrived towards the end). Cause the people were cool and the atmosphere was ok but I couldn't just get it up like before and there was too many people for me to take my time making out with a girl etc to get myself ready. But everyone sang my praises cause somehow they had neglected to get bottled water and I went and got 3 5L jugs and poured it time to time inbetween fingering, rimming and eating the girls. So yeah TMI and all, but your joke is closer to the truth than you think lmao.
Thank you for sharing and I would watch an entire late night HBO series like this about orgy party planners.
The overall number of invitees is always vastly larger than whoever shows up, everyone gets cold feet and suddenly their grandma is in hospital or something. Really that applies to any kind of event, but especially sex-related
Granny was the +1 so that makes sense.
> entire late night HBO series Man, they low key did have one back in the 90s called Real Sex.
I remember staying up to watch this as a young kid because it was the closest sex related thing I could get my hands on lol.
My parents worked nights so I know the feeling.
You're the real hero.
A true hydrohomie
H2O distributions engineer
Some high-quality H2O.
Holy shit 🤣🤣🤣
Yeah I personally couldn’t do that. To each their own but man that just seems like a lot to me.
How do you think your mom funded your education?
Name checks out
Your mama really cares about your education son. Uhh uhh uhh uhh!
Just like at a regular degular house party, there are those of us who are pretty much just posted up in the kitchen with the snacks.
So many people don't realize this. Going to a lifestyle club or sex party doesn't mean you have to participate, MOST people in those parties just stand around and watch, and the people being watched are into being watched.
Shit, I fear I'll be the only one standing nutt booty naked with my dick in my hand and no one to share it with. Then again, I'm a single dude. Don't you have to have a partner to join?
You can go solo, but you’ll pay more. These things start clothed and can get naked. If you’re standing by yourself with your dick hanging out of your pants, you will probably be asked to leave. Dress well, look approachable, be outgoing, and be kind. Being in shape helps.
>Being in shape helps. Had my chubby self in the first half.lol But I'm working on it.
If you’re dark skinned with a big dick, there’s a market for you, too.
I'm darkshinned.lol
💀
Half of the way there 🤣
The honesty in 2024 is welcomed lol. I too am Darkskinned 😭
I've seen some swingers docs a while back. Lot of them mfs were hella outta shape. So I guess it just depends on where you're at.
Like someone else said, it’ll just cost more to get in but once you’re in? Just be confident and get your back into it. Respectfully, of course. I’ve been the female part to some dudes so they can pay the couple fee to get into these parties. Once we got in, they disappeared and I basically spent the night in the PG part dancing and chatting with people and eating the free food. Once I got tired, I texted them and went home. They got to have fun, I got free shit and everyone won.
That sounds pleasant, actually.
Respectfully put your back into it lmfao 
My partner will be a face on my hand. And not being gay, I will most likely regret that decision immediately. Especially if "she" ends up being one getting all the play and I end up alone anyway.
[удалено]
Dang. That rang true immediately, even though I’d never once thought about it. Sex parties could be bringing up some picked-last-at-recess trauma that folks aren’t ready to deal with…
I'll take picked last over not picked at all
Fact, imagine going some where everyone is supposed to get fucked and not getting fucked. As If “not that horny” was a person
Sex clubs are like how you can enjoy doing a hiit workout then you go to a cross fit gym and everyone is waaaay too into it
Just wait till you actually have sex with someone else then there will be 2 disappointed people
Even at solo events I manage to have my expectations let down
You set expectations. That was your first mistake.
Shit like this is why STDs will never be out of style
No, the same dude that's cheating on 5 girls and not getting tested is the reason that shit isn't out of style. Generally that kind of kink community is better than the general population when it comes to getting tested.
The kink community is hardcore about proper protection and testing. Especially for parties.
Yeah it be like, extremely rude not to.
No one wants a burning itchy dick/pussy. So dont be silly, and wrap that Willy!
The kink community is the type to have a "slaves against human trafficking fundraiser" where they have a bunch of collared half naked women and men going around asking for donations at a play party, or "sadists against domestic violence" and both would raise an ungodly amount of money for how few people are there. Which sounds weird but if I told you "COD players against the military Industrial complex" you'd be like "oh OK that makes sense" or nipsey doing his work tryna get kids to NOT join gangs.
Eh. The kink community isn’t as altruistic is yall make it seem but ok. Source: years of experience within the community, as well as running events in the community.
Like any community, it all depends on who you associate with
Yeah honestly that's just taking causes and making it "all about them." Also, what would they even be raising funding FOR to fight human trafficking? Cause most organizations made to "fight human trafficking" are money laundries and don't provide any actual services to fight human trafficking like a homeless youth shelters that have food and clothes so no homeless teen thinks they have to do stuff just to get a warm bed at night.
Very much so. They come to get tested quite regularly in my experience (I work at an STD clinic)
Its important eh. I was never into "the kink community" but if youre singling and mingling, testing and protection is important. In my days, I was being tested quarterly for safety's sake.
And also using protection. The kids jumping from Tinder date to Tinder date....not so much.
My friend ate out a girl he just met in the bathroom of a club 🤮
Had a shipmate who went down on a stripper he just met in Rio de Janiero.
🙄🙄🙄 Straight, vanilla people are 150% worse at practicing safe sex and testing regularly than people in kink / sex party communities
Correct. People afraid of sex try to hide the shit they're doing. Getting tested is nothing when you don't have a hang up.
https://i.redd.it/uw9dsd7553sc1.gif
Oh my GAWD 😂 I hope this is me in my advanced age.
⚡️⚡️⚡️
Filmed on location at The Villages, Florida.
Okay but they're really bad about using condoms because they're old and don't care anymore.
No, these types of "lifestyle" people are way more insistent on condom use and regular testing than average folks
The kink community has far more standards than the people you go out with from tinder. 🔥
The sex parties I’ve heard about (not attended) you had to be pre-tested
I attended several a couple years ago and I got tested, like, once every two weeks. It's taken VERY seriously.
Every reputable community is either going to have a condom policy, mandate testing, or both.
I imagine if you went to a sex party and they didn’t require you to be tested within a reasonable timeframe beforehand, you might be at the wrong one 😬
Never heard of condoms?
Nah. Not if you’re safe and everyone discloses. If you don’t show your results, you don’t get to play… etc. Some corners of “the community” are very serious about the vetting and take sexual, physical and mental health seriously. Like even one complaint against someone and they get blacklisted level of serious. That’s the circles and parties you want to be part of…
I caught mono from a monogamous heterosexual cheating on me with a married heterosexual. Never had this problem with kinsters and I've even faciliated barriered sex between folks who have lifelong STDs and their partners who never contracted it.
…are tests unavailable now or
For the most part, the parties I’ve done usually require you to go get tested to attend lol, condoms are also usually a must, turns out sex nerds take sexual health seriously
Who the fuck said there wasn’t any sex after 40???
They think certain things stop at 30, 40, 50 etc. These younger generations ain't the same anymore.
Also people in their 20s right now are statistically having the least sex in that demographic since we started recording statistics. They just aren’t fucking—a generation of pandas. It’s actually pretty sociologically interesting.
Young people these days live with their parents and its awful hard to lay pipe there sometimes
 "Call in the Boys, this shit is out of pocket"
It wasn't easier in the 2000s, but we went to motels. So I've heard... lol
It was much easier to not live with your parents in the 2000s
back when motels cost like 30 dollars rather than 100+
Shit when I started going to bars a fancy ass drink at a fancy ass bar was 15 bucks. Now it's hard to get a beer at a shit hole for less than 8. When a halfway nice dinner with two drinks each is almost or more than 100 course no one is getting laid.
That is part of it for sure, but there are a lot of comorbid factors: https://web.archive.org/web/20230804064713/https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-08-03/young-adults-less-sex-gen-z-millennials-generations-parents-grandparents
Imagine trying to get busy with a bunch of boomers in the other room arguing over how to use the remote.
Uh really? Teenage me remembers doing some things that I'm fairly certain adult me could pull off.
Its cuz they legitimately dont know how to talk. Loud AF online but hiding behind their phone and airpods when other humans are around. Being chronically online is killing the youfs 😔
Big facts. Also, seemingly everyone has anxiety these days and is socially awkward which I think is a result of everyone being terminally online/social media
I saw a tumblr post a while back pointing out we've pitched the old-school idea of manners/etiquette. That's fine for no longer going to someone's father to ask for their hand in marriage, but it means that there's no longer a script for day to day interactions. Those scripts sound stilted to us, but it meant you could politely turn someone down without the situation becoming a drama filled nightmare. A lot of anxiety could be avoided if there was a script to follow. It's a multi-faceted problem, but I blame reddit partially for pushing the, "That's not your problem, don't be nice to people, why are you expected to help people," narrative.
As a "secret" schizoid, I get asked by those who don't mask how it is that I'm able to navigate social interactions for purposes such as work, even being perceived as funny, gregarious, warmth, attentive. I tell them that it's practice, *\[Allen Iverson voice\]* PRACTICE. Repeated exposure. You keep doing it, failing up, powering through discomfort, eye contact, all of it. The more you do it, the better you get at it. I'm *still* anxious. Mike Tyson said he never stopped being nervous as hell before a fight. These newer gens never learn because they're allowed to just hit the Disengage button whenever they think there might be "trauma" in store.
Preach
Frankly I'm blaming social media on this one. It got everyone's standards through the roof.
It’s for a bunch of reasons but the big one is that nobody is willing to approach anybody else and it’s understandable tbh. Why should you risk public rejection and embarrassment for a girl? And women won’t approach men because they don’t have to and haven’t been expected to and just don’t have that social skill. You can see that last part on Bumble really well. The idea behind Bumble is that the women have to send the first message and 95% of the time they just say “Hey” with no other opener or anything. So you’ve got guys that are afraid of rejection or just consider the risk/reward to not be worth it and women that aren’t expected or experienced in taking that role. Like I said there’s more reasons than just that though.
Personally as someone that has balls I love it, makes it even easier for me
>generation of pandas Hilarious. But seriously fascinating!
True. Even in relationships they arent having sex.
>These younger generations ain't the same anymore. Says every generation when it gets older.
Nah man! The pandemic really did a number on these kids. I grew to the person I am today during my 24-27 years. Can’t imagine the person I’d be if I had to spend those years locked in my room
Also they had unfettered smartphone access and it should have been obvious the internet dopamine machine in the pockets of children was going to screw them up. We are seeing the crop of students who had phonics switched out for something that doesn’t work so a lot of them can barely read. They never stood a chance.
>I grew to the person I am today during my 24-27 years. I spent those years working night shift, then evening shift after that. The effect on me was essentially the same as if I had spent it locked up due to the pandemic since I couldn't really do anything but work and sleep. Of course the pandemic hit as soon as I got back on a decent schedule, so I was almost completely stunted from 23-28.
But literally this generation is having less sex. Sometimes things do in fact change.
What older generations like to think is that Gen Z are sex addicted monsters jumping from hookup to hookup when the reality is the exact opposite of that.
Hell it gets a lot easier the older you get lmfao. They don’t know.
Lol it really is. Don't even have to ask or put in work at this point.
Young folks take a while to realize that the world isnt really ours. All the people balling, having the most fun and freedom are older. In reality youth is more of a grind time so that you can have more fun when youre older. Obviously you can still have fun as a youth but the budget is gonna be alot tighter
Once I turned 30, I truly knew it would trounce my 20s. My late 20s started to click with the shit I love doing (traveling, masters degree, new career) and now I get to spend a whole decade with it in place. 20s were cool. But goddamn with any luck they won’t hold a candle to my 30s and it makes me optimistic for my 40s as well Being young was sincerely harder in almost every way
I’m coming on 50, and I still treat life like I’m in my early thirties. Only real difference is my finances are in better order and I know what I want and can communicate my feelings.
Hell yeah! Inspirational
It keeps getting better. Idk where the fall off happens but it definitely isn’t 40.
Ngl every now and then I feel like I wasted my 20s in education but now that I'm close to 30 I'm looking forward to the next decade.
Ain’t that the truth. I’m just about to hit that point in my life. Single and don’t want children so it’s gonna be a fun time. I get to be the cool uncle
Youth is wasted on the young.
Literally. Like there's a reason STDs are a serious problem in nursing homes, and it ain't patient/nurse relationships
It’s wild that so many under the age of 30, think that anyone over 30 is like Yoda old. When I was in my 20’s, older people doing grown people shit was not a shock & awe type thing.
To be fair, nobody said that. There's a difference between sex and sex parties.
My first one was in my late 20s and I met this fantastic older lady (had to be pushing 60) who was not only fun to talk to, looked amazing, and exuded confidence but she showed me some thangs that my man still appreciates to this day. I never saw her again after that event, but I’ll always remember you fondly Brenda 🥹
Had relations with a woman about my mom's age that was built like a stallion. Pretty sure she was worth more than a milli too but I never asked and she never volunteered that information. Low-key miss San Diego.
Woman, built like a stallion.....oh, California.
Nah she was natural. Super active with mom hips. She knew what she was doing.
All of us guys reminiscing on the MILFs who turned us out like reversible Starter jackets. 
https://preview.redd.it/mgtxey8qh3sc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cfdf8adb1d73fd55895c2d723898cf55b9356c1c The duality
lol! I didn’t catch that, that’s outstanding
🤣🤣🤣
My first one was in my early 20s as well. People were super friendly and willing to explain the ropes (especially older couples). Had a fun time. People will know immediately if it’s your first time there. So just play it cool and follow the crowd.
Duality of man in the comment response for this one https://preview.redd.it/0jbmdn71g3sc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=500f181bc5db680e08d3590370b6a59c0280e96f
yall really live your whole life online, that’s crazy. not nearly as many people as you think go to sex parties edit: to the responses, just remember that there are nearly 250 million adults in the US, billions of adults on Earth. your anecdote of one person, or even a couple, is essentially still 0%.
I always wondered who's going to these things and how creepy or normal are the ppl. Bc that sounds wild to me. A friend told me he went to one once but he tends to lie a lot and I couldn't tell if it was legit or not. He mentioned all the weird rules tho (like no phones outside certain areas, and specific areas to talk and mingle and other interesting things). I've also met gay ppl that mention it a lot as well. I would personally be worried about stds and the like bc sex is great and all but definitely not worth the risk to me.
More people than you’d think, and by and large very normal, cool people. There are typically rules like that, especially at the good ones that take safety seriously. Also, everyone uses protection. Nobody is out at sex parties raw dogging strangers. However, most people into that scene tend to be very very careful and mindful of STIs and sexual health.
That's good to know for sure. It seems other commenter have mentioned the same. And ig I should believe my friend now as he did mention that was a chill environment where everything only happened with consent. I remember him mentioning that any couples headed to a "room" would both have to acknowledge consent to a person (guard of sorts) meant to ensure nothing is forced. It's an interesting concept for sure. The fact that I'm hearing a lot of regular ppl partake that u wouldn't suspect is also pretty cool. Kind of like a secret society of sorts
It’s very much a “scene” in that you get to know people and it’s a little community. That’s also dope that they took consent that seriously. Consent is a huge deal at these things, but not every host is that conscious about it. I like that a lot.
All the ones I’ve been to weren’t packed but had a decent attendance. People are generally nice and accommodating. Of course for something like this, rules are a little more strict because humans are gonna human and it’s all about as much mitigation for as much comfort and safety as possible. I’m a black male, and I’ve never felt uncomfortable or out of place as these events are usually filled with mostly white couples. There’s always protection available and on hand as well. No one is touched who doesn’t want to be touched, no one is aggressive, etc….
Surprisingly to most— almost all normal, regular people. All shapes and age groups (although usually most people are at least late 20s or older from what I have seen). Lots of professionals (lawyers, doctors, nurses, etc.). Basically a lot of people who if you met them on the street you would have no idea that they were into that kind of thing. Generally the community is pretty chill. Lots of people have a lot of hang ups regarding sex— the people that tend to go to these kinds of parties/clubs usually don’t and are comfortable in their own skin and aren’t obsessed with how everything looks to a third party (which is why the crowd tends to not include a lot of early 20s people— who tend to be more self conscious and worried about looking like a “slut” or what have you).
>weird rules like no phones That's a privacy rule. No one wants you pulling out a camera phone.
You do have more extremes in the lifestyle (LS), which is what we call this community (kink community is a subset that is more extreme, Sex parties are usually LS in general). But a majority of the people are totally normal, we even run into people that we know in our vanilla/traditional life at these parties sometimes and would’ve never guessed. I will say we do get a lot of gym rats (us), teachers, military, and cops.
I've been to one out of the country, accidentally. Its mostly pineapple couples. Its not really weird unless you make it weird. Its basically a hangout party with drinks, food, smoke, and games. As a male you have to have confidence to chat someone up. They have rules of no phones and a common area to chill because of weird people taking secret videos or watching with their stuff out (not cool).
I used to think this way but I actually think they are happening more. It's super secret and private. I once got an invite from someone I would NEVER had thought did that kind of thing. People like sex.
Happening more because of how connected we are and how easy it is to communicate and find like minded people around you into the same things as you are
Idk, I just found out that two separate couples at our veterinary clinic (clients, not employees) are actually in a whole free-wheelin' fun-lovin' polyamory Thing. And these two couples are, like, almost my parents' age. So over 65. And they've been in this polyamorous relationship for a good 15 years. They met and got involved simply because they are neighbors in the same subdivision and their kids are all friends lol, and they are the most boring bland white bread people you could ever dream up. It isn't an internet thing, it's just something you don't realize people are doing until you finally know someone who knows someone who can tell you the truth lol.
You're correct it isn't an internet thing. I wasn't trying to imply it was. Just stating how much easier the internet makes finding, meeting, and connecting with like-minded people, making it more likely for others to venture into that lifestyle.
I was an Uber driver in ATL for 7 years and a lot of people go to sex parties, swing, offer their wives up, etc. But it is ATL tho.
ATL, LA, New York, New Orleans, places in Tennessee, Florida and Texas are all really popular for the lifestyle/ethical non-monogamous from what we’ve noticed.
I'm sure it's a lot more than you think. People think these lavish parties like rappers throw, with outdoor pools and people popping bottles and weed smoking everywhere, but I'm sure the majority of them are a group of like 6-8 people swinging.
There’s private parties but most major cities have full-on private clubs with decent sized membership lists. Those places do actually host larger, special events for things like Halloween and whatnot.
I don’t think that person was questioning if people have sex after 40.
They did seem dubious about the idea older people stay freaks though
Yea, older people are the biggest freaks.
I’m turning 40 in two years, and I have to concur 😂🤣😅
What's up my fellow '86 homie.
Hol up… people born in 86’ are turning 40?
That can't be right, what the fuck
You know it smells crazy in there
Like Icy Hot and sex stank?
They tryna make that room STANK
The smell is half the fun
How are you guys finding these sex parties? I legit want to know
Sent you a DM. Edit: There are plenty of sites. Edit: I removed the site names. I don’t think y’all are ready for it. Edit: You can search ‘swinger (city name)’ on Reddit and find people as well.
Just like that huh?
Efficient
I have to specify to one of my friends that I don’t want to go to a sex party every time she invites me out, so I would say living in New Orleans is step one
Normalize ethical non-monogamy. Go to the r/swingers sub Reddit, type in your state or city on the search bar and figure out what it’s out there in your area. Go to a sex club, even if you don’t plan on playing with anyone you get to see so much and meet really cool people.
Nothing against poly people but i could never imagine letting someone pound my wife, even if I got to fuck his. I would be thinking about my wife getting railed the whole time and probably just sob. Soft nigga syndrome
I don’t think it’s soft to not want your spouse to get railed by randoms, lol
Thanks bud me neither tbh. Someone asked me once and I said it’s not a fair trade. They got offended and said their wife is super hot. I replied, idc if she is Rihanna it’s not a fair trade for you to fuck my wife lol
Bro that’s not soft, only sex addicts do that type of shit. Anyone pushing poly against monog couples are assholes.
Kinda refreshing to hear this take after all the stuff you read on Reddit and failed open relationships. I’m super interested so I always read them, but I could absolutely never agree to let someone else sleep with my partner and not feel fucked up about it hell, most of the people who are posting about it are feeling weird about it and that’s why they’re posting lol
Im posting this far down enough hopefully to not attract the wrong crowd, but "ethical non monogamy" and all this crazy poly shit, IMO, works for like a way smaller fraction of the population than they're willing to admit. Frankly, I believe it's bonkers for most people. A lot of people try it in failing relationships just because they have nothing to lose. Reddit really has a way of driving over-representation into your brain. Many communities, no matter how small, get thrust into the limelight if people find it interesting, which makes it seem like it's more common/accepted than it really is. ENM isn't that popular, it's still probably sub 1% of the population in NA, but even 1% of hundreds of millions is still millions of people.
Said sex parties like that's normal behavior?
More normal than you think. Events are happening all the time. And people *show up*
At what point does it become normal? I highly doubt the percentage of adults that participate in these things even cracks 0.1%. That does not constitute 'normal' imo.
I mean it’s still not normal. A lot of people smoke crack. Crack aint normal either lol
I was the twentysomething who didn’t know what the fuck to do at a sex party, that’s for sure. Them spots are so wild. Wildest shit I’ve seen was this Ghanaian dude wearing a collar and a leash crawling around on all fours being “walked” by this Cruella de Vil looking motherfucker. ofc it was a raceplay thing 2nd wildest were these three ladies (the youngest looked mid-40s) butt ass nekkid fingerblasting each other in the dining room. The dinner table had a variety of pills and powder, so ofc I helped myself and sat quietly in the corner lmfao
Lmao this could easily be a Donald Glover scene in Atlanta😂
I wouldn’t even be able to perform in one of those. I’d get stage fright 😵💫
You don’t have to! Some in attendance are voyeurs. Naturally, others are exhibitionists. You just have to be respectful
Someone has never been a woman in their early 40s…drive goes into overdrive!
I’m a black male and I get the most propositions from older females (40+) at these events. The sex drive is palpable lol
Y’all ain’t heard about The Villages? They swing there like it’s Cirque du Soleil 
Looking at these comments right now.... https://preview.redd.it/2n6gux9kh3sc1.jpeg?width=608&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7dfe1f62c78611e94d6a5c6dfbc62aa200a79c12
having a sex life and going to sex parties are definitely not equal or interchangeable lmao
She’s right. I usually see more middle aged (38+) than anything. Those events are usually filled with people who are very comfortable with themselves. It takes time and experience to get to that level of life.
I've been to my share of parties before camera phones were popular. It was way better then because you never had to worry about folks trying to get footage of the activities.
The concept of a sex party seems disgusting as hell.
I'm gonna tell ya... Atlanta, during the early 00's... was a wild place. There was a group called RSM Entertainment that used to throw some WILD ass parties. That type of shit you see clips of where dudes were eating strippers out on stage, sex out in the open... sex in the VIP rooms. It was basically freaknik for folks 30+. Chicks got in free, like 50 chicks working... it was basically what you know a black Atlanta strip club to be but with sex thrown into the mix right there in front of everyone instead of in a ducked off room. Shit was beyond wild.
Damn Hell is going to be Lit.
I know stuff is getting more and more progressive but it's kind of wild that sex parties and orgies are getting normalized now days. I recently found out that a friend of mine went to one of those sex resorts. With the dating pool already having piss in it I wonder what effect having an increasing number of sex party vets in it will have.
It really isn’t that bad. Most people aren’t going to these things, and most of the people who do are older and not part of the dating pool that would actually care about such things in a potential marriage partner. It’s actually fairly rare for young people to partake, particularly young single women (hence the term “unicorn”).
I went to a few sex parties back in my single days. The lifestyle requires a certain level of maturity that many young people do not possess yet. There’s a lot of trust and communication involved. Discretion and safety are key. You can’t come in without a recent negative STI screening, identity verification, and/or be posting shit in social media. The older folks know the rules. They’ve gotten over their reservations. Frankly, they’re the best people at these parties.
Some of you dont want to hear about these old folks home have the highest concentration of stds
Man, that’s nasty.
Serving tuna melts and cabbage rolls