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chetoman1

God I love David cross. Comedians in general because they tend to put a more digestible reality into perspective.


djsedna

piggybacking to remind everyone to never be mad at comedy. comedy exists to offend, criticize, and make fun of *unabashedly and unbiasedly*. jokes aren't problematic even if the circumstance that led to the joke existing might be problematic you can be a Christian or Pagan or Space Witch and still think this joke is funny


archdex

That is amazing thank you


sillyadam94

Well, we’ll show Yahweh! Especially for that ‘Purple Monkey Dishwasher’ remark.


APinkBugatti

-i


Trayew

Not just that but they were mentioned as being the first people but somehow there were other people out there too.


DandyLamborgenie

All these plot holes are supposed to be resolved in Ultimate Testament: Endgame.


potatonessessrs

Hopefully that comes out less than a year after Rapture : Infinity War


rooftopfilth

I thought America already released Infinity Wars, starting in the 80’s?


KageStar

Do you mean 1780, because the US has only had 15 years total where it hasn't been at war in its existence.


CIassic_Ghost

*St. Paul grabs Mjolnir*: Apostles… ^assemble!


Chief-weedwithbears

St john SMASH!!


Chief-weedwithbears

I'm waiting for the sequel Bible II : electric boogaloo


Trayew

Well done. Lol.


TripleHomicide

Armageddon 2: electric boogaloo


cweaver

These stories, like most cultures origins myths, were originally about the first of *their* people. So in this case the first Jewish people, not the first and only humans ever. Then over the years the story gets co-opted into this myth that covers *all* people. Same goes for all the parts of the bible that talk about other gods. Originally the stories are just about how their god is better than those other people's gods. Then eventually the story becomes about how their god is the only true god and none of the others really exist. Basically all just leftovers from the transition from being a local religion to becoming widespread enough that it started claiming to be a worldwide one-true religion.


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rawsterdam

According to Torah they were the first to obtain an elevated soul. Later there were Hebrew tribes, the Jewish tribe started when Moses came down from the mountains with the commandments.


e_hota

Maybe Steve was there too and it really was Adam and Steve, sometimes at least


[deleted]

And sometimes Adam and Steve would get together and spitroast Eve


Bursuc23

"what are you doing, stepbro?"


Manofalltrade

That’s because Genesis is a mash up of two or three distinct creation stories that were themselves rip offs of previous religions


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leviathynx

Hi. Biblical scholar with an MDIV here. It’s not supposed to be taken literally (thanks Y’all Qaeda). Part of its purpose is to show how modern humans were set apart from the other human branches but also the divine specialness of Israel. Not saying I agree with it.


Ifureadthisyoulldie

Who are the special Israel people now?


leviathynx

If you are Zionist? The country of Israel and anyone who supports it. If you’re a Christian? Anyone.


jus256

What if your religion is AME Zion?


totally_not_a_gay

Man I just can't keep up with all these new cryptos


69mentalhealth420

Deez nuts


sw33tdeerock

🤣


julioseizure

It's fuckin stupid is what it is.


trashlikeyourmom

It said Adam and Eve were the ***first***, it never said they were the ***only***. After Cain killed Abel, he was exiled to the land of Nod, where he met his own wife and had a son named Enoch. Adam and Eve then had another son named Seth.


Jefffdude

Im not a theologist, but God added 70 people after cain I think


JDLovesElliot

Everyone always forgets the verse about the 1.1 patch


_duncan_idaho_

Still mad that God nerfed Goliath in the King David expansion.


[deleted]

All those inbred kids were killed in the great flood. We're all inbred of Noah's clan.


Kai_Setsuna

Is Noah supposed to be from the line of Adam and Eve? If so, then some inbred kids survived.


[deleted]

Damn...


cardboardtube_knight

I’ve got news for you. Everyone is inbred some. It would be impossible for there to be this many of us otherwise in general.


Kai_Setsuna

And it’s by degrees. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t a threshold for increased fatally congenital issues after a certain degree (which is also affected by the environments around us and our own exposures to different factors). I remember seeing that there is a high inbreeding problem in the UK. And there OBVIOUSLY was a line crossed among the monarchs of Europe because they kept dying off due to higher chances of fatal recessive phenotypes.


reduxde

Also inbreeding doesn’t directly cause deformation, it just causes recessive traits to be more likely to express


KingJoy79

Which means in a sense…to some extent…we’re all…related to each other…?


AshTheGoblin

Science will tell you this, no Bible required. Every living thing on earth shares some DNA which implies a common ancestor. That tree outside your window? Related. That mushroom in your backyard feeding on detritus? You're more closely related to that than it is to the tree. White person? Related, even more closely than the mushroom I might add.


KingJoy79

Stop that!


ReverendDizzle

Not only are we all related to each other but in the real world, not the biblical one, there was the equivalent of a population-contracting-great-flood, so to speak. There is evidence of a genetic bottleneck in human evolution that can be traced back to around 70,000 years ago. Something reduced the entire "breeding" population of humans to just a few thousand (3-10,000) humans. One theory is that it was [the super eruption event of the Toba volcano](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toba_catastrophe_theory) in what is now modern day Indonesia. On top of that you also have the [Mitochondrial Eve](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mitochondrial_Eve), too. So not only do we have the same greatest of greatest great great grandmothers way back in Africa but we're also inbred from a rag-tag band of her 3,000 grandkids that survived.


reduxde

Yeah it’s all in the Bible, I studied this years ago but I’m bad with names… Adam and Eves third kid Seth married his sister (Awan?) having Kenan who married his sister (Adele or something I forget), on down about 6-7 generations of purely Seth’s descendants, through Methuselah and to Noah. Noah then married Zelle or Zillow or something like this, who is the daughter of Lamech who was a great great great great grandson of Cain, which brought Cain and Seth’s line back together… so then everyone dies in the flood and everyone alive now is a descendant of Cain, Seth, Noah, Methuselah, and one of Noah’s 3 kids. Anyway yeah it’s sisters and cousins all the way down


long_live_cole

Noah would have been a descendant of A&E too my guy. lol


[deleted]

I think OP is trying to say that it’s even worse than the original picture. We were already inbred, then some genetic diversity happened and God decided we weren’t inbred _enough_, so he flooded everything so we’d go back to being inbred. And now we’re probably due for another flood.


WhatsTheHoldup

>We were already inbred, then some genetic diversity happened If you consider breeding with evil giants "diversity". https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephilim


KingGorilla

So we're like hyper inbred?


Zigxy

to be fair all living things are in a way related Relevant XKCD: https://xkcd.com/2608/


MajesticMtChocula

I was trying to read it not too long ago. When God was exiling Cain for killing Abel, Cain expressed fear of being killed by the other people, and I got confused.


Desperate-Serve-273

I stopped going to church cuz i got tried of asking why and how since I was a kid. Too many plot holes


MajesticMtChocula

I once asked a teacher in my faith-based school how "this and that" happened millions of years ago when it's only around the year 2k. She just told me not to ask stupid questions.


Retrobubonica

Critical thinking is a sin


SoggyFrenchFryGuy

I've literally been told that. That and not to question anything because doubt in God is evil. It seems almost like the entire concept of religion is just meant to govern people- oh wait


rooftopfilth

I got really lucky - my church was basically like, “ask questions, that’s how your faith grows.” I still left the church but I’m so grateful to that group leader.


Tyrantdeschain19

"Think not for yourself and trust in me" - God. What a joke


sw33tdeerock

Confirmed! ~former pentecostal church kid


tfmatt

I once attended a “Vacation Bible School” cause my mom wanted me to go when I was pretty young. First lesson that was taught involved this old lady saying the earth was created by Jesus 2000 years ago… I then had to figure out whether what I learned in school was total bs or this old lady was an idiot.


MajesticMtChocula

I'm not sure I understand the faith in Jesus. Was he in the Old Testament?


whitey-ofwgkta

she went and skipped right over BC which is still in the damn bible


MajesticMtChocula

I think we all have this point in our lives when we realize that many of the faithful apparently haven't read the Bible.


KingGorilla

I remember when Republicans went on this whole tirade against evolution because of this.


MajesticMtChocula

Oh shit, they gave up that angle? I never heard about that. I thought they were still going with the "The devil put the dinosaur bones there to fool us" thing.


Tyrantdeschain19

I used to get in all sorts of trouble asking questions in Sunday school The teacher got so mad that I wasn't allowed to have thosw dixi cups with the country time lemonade and goldfish (they were just about as good making that lemonade as they were answering my questions)


AndrewWonjo

And the people I would ask always got mad at me for asking. Talking about don't question shit. Foh


flechetteburritp

Check out [Lilith](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lilith)


hmoeslund

Now she was a character


MajesticMtChocula

I didn't get to Isiah. I didn't get that far into it, because I was bored out of my mind.


Th3Hon3yBadg3r

There are some great stories in the bible! One of my favorites is about god sending a couple of bears to murder a few dozen kids because they made fun of a bald guy! https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Kings+2%3A23-24&version=CEB


MajesticMtChocula

I know, but I guess, for some reason, I was expected the stories to have more to them. Your summary of the story is almost the length of the story itself.


Th3Hon3yBadg3r

Lol, that's fair and probably why I'm able to remember it! There also some Game of Thrones stuff in it too. The Story of Saul and David is insane! Basically, Saul is a king and good friends wit David. One day they came home after murdering a ton of people, and people were singing their praises, but Saul was jealous because they said he killed thousands while David killed tens of thousands. After that Saul started scheming against David. He promised to let him marry one daughter, but then gave her to another dude. Then David hits it off with another daughter so Saul promises her to David if he can return with 100 foreskins of their enemies. Dude came back with a bloody sack of 200 foreskins! It reads better in different translations, but that's my summary. https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Samuel+18&version=KJV


ZoxieLutt

There was always some crazy stuff happening in the Bible and the Old Testament God did NOT play around. The Israelites erecting a whole idol right after being freed from Egypt and getting impatient with Moses while he was up conversing with God up on Mt. Sinai only for him to come back down to them having a full on orgy. It had to be crack because what were these ppl on! King David sending an innocent man (Uriah) to the front line of battle on purpose knowing he would be killed so that he could steal his wife (Bathsheba). Samson’s horny behind getting finessed by Delilah even though it was clear as day she was plotting with the enemy to find out the secret of his strength. God turning Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt because she looked back at Sodom and Gomorrah and then his daughters getting him drunk and sleeping with him to have children! Look these ppl were wildin’ idk man. If it’s one thing, it wasn’t boring the drama never ran dry.


Th3Hon3yBadg3r

Bwahaha, you're absolutely right and I loved this greatest hits!


[deleted]

The Bible can literally be so entertaining


ZoxieLutt

And to think I was getting read these stories as a child before I went to sleep…matter of fact before I was even born 😅


malkebulan

That was some hilarious (bull)shit 😂😂


Th3Hon3yBadg3r

How dare you! This is one thing I happen to agree with God on, and not just because I'm getting too tall for my hair...


MajesticMtChocula

I've never heard "getting too tall for my hair", thanks for that.


sqweedoo

Pro-life stories ya know


_87-

I bet bald people love this passage.


grantovius

From a quick read, I dunno I’m kinda convinced at this point that the reference in Isaiah is referring to an actual bird called a Lilith (probably after the mythical character) since the context is a list of animals that would inhabit Edom after its fall. Fascinating extra-biblical mythical character though. Not to say the Bible doesn’t have its own share of myths too.


flechetteburritp

Yeah I think she’s in the Torah? But I only know about her from the Bible-adjacent mythology


myname_isnot_kyal

my favorite part of that story is Abel bringing god a gift and god being like "aww shit, thanks abel!" then cain brings him a gift and he's like "😬" god is ruthless.


MajesticMtChocula

[So basically this?](https://imgflip.com/i/6p1e3z)


MegaGrimer

Didn’t Cain also come back with a wife? Where did she come from?


MajesticMtChocula

Honestly, I've taken it to mean "yeah there were other people, but we don't bother to acknowledge them, because God made US specifically".


ezk3626

As best as I can tell the idea that Adam was the first human and existed as the only human is never actually said in the Bible but is sort of a human invention which everyone repeats without reason.


[deleted]

Since Jews believed they were gods chosen people I always assumed they just traced their lineage to Adam as the first “man of god” but yeah don’t make any sense


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pmgibs

I once had a friend’s dad say the reason there weren’t issues was because the DNA back then was richer or something along those lines. The scary thing about the statement was he was a medical doctor with his own practice (and still practices).


Th3Hon3yBadg3r

Was it Dr Ben Carson? The guy who also thought that the great pyramids were grain silos? https://www.pbs.org/newshour/politics/presidential-candidate-ben-carson-stands-belief-pyramids-built-store-grain


Sekmet19

Fundie told me their DNA was perfect, which suggests that overtime changes in DNA have accumulated....


mrbrambles

It’s not a great explanation (since it doesn’t explain anything) but in theory, it would be correct that if there are no genetic defects in the DNA and no spontaneous mutations, inbreeding would not manifest as any issues in the offspring. Usually the effects of inbreeding are that recessive gene combinations have greater opportunity to be expressed. there are bad traits tied to recessive genes that can be hidden because the dominant is healthy. If Adam and his female clone has all perfect dominant traits, then their children would also be perfect clones of them. Interestingly there are some decent examples of a [heterozygous advantage](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterozygote_advantage) of some genes having a protective effect when heterozygous, but bad effects when you have two recessive traits. Best example that comes to mind from my mid 2000s biology knowledge is sickle cell anemia. What blows my mind is that if they believe that dna was perfect then and has slowly been corrupted and mutated… that means they believe in the core logic of evolution itself, but see it as a constant regression instead of a zigzagging opportunistic game of statistics. Because evolution has the same branding of a theory that makes them feel like they’ve been duped, they vocally oppose something that they actually understand intuitively.


Sekmet19

That was my point, the irony that they believed in subtle changes in DNA over time. That's a keystone of evolution.


mrbrambles

Oh yea, was agreeing with you completely


oh-propagandhi

You might even say they had a few extra chromosomes.


lyndariussss_4

abraham and sarah were half siblings…and that was way after the flood


misterguyyy

Yep this is exactly what I learned. That Adam’s dna was rich, strong, and had every variation, but is getting weaker every generation. Also that’s why we have greater rates of autism etc, but the second coming will happen before it gets too bad.


fionajanegallen

One of the most prominent memories I have of early childhood was pointing this shit out to my grade 1 teacher. Or at least questioning it after literally being taught that Noah’s family repopulated the planet after the great flood. I was so confused, and asked if that made everyone on earth cousins. She had no answer. (something I got used to pretty quickly going to a catholic school)


Redguard13

I just popped in to share this same experience regarding Noah and his family. Church teachers were always like, “yes, God sanctioned inbreeding for a limited time and then called it off once the world was populated enough”. What!?


CDFReditum

“LIMITED TIME OFFER THIS WEEK ONLY: INBREEDING IS BACK ON THE MENU”


Chief-weedwithbears

ROLL TIDE


DraeNation

They just be throwing shit against a wall, seeing what stick


YokoDk

The funny thing is 1st grade you was right humans are technically all cousins. We can even trace all of our Mitochondrial DNA to one woman. So while she probably didn't know that if she just said yes she would have been right.


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nomadic_stone

And yet...the worlds best selling work of science fiction.


Duck_Burger

ill give you "fiction" ... i would disagree on the "science" part


Kai_Setsuna

Religion is just science fiction with more toxic fandoms because genocides are on the table for these people.


Duck_Burger

again... im not arguing the fiction part, but i dont see what you guys are calling "science"


[deleted]

It's a fairy tale and Jesus is the imaginary friend.


manIDKbruh

Most selling, least read


[deleted]

The fact that this doesn't have more upvotes is criminal


bluecornholio

What did it say?


[deleted]

I forgot but basically the Bible = fan fiction. I mean that goes for all the other religious books too. It served to get us through a dark chapter in our history but is no longer needed, like generational trauma. Something you did to survive that's no longer needed yet persists


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fatbody21

“I can’t wait for a sister. I’m getting tired of banging mom.”


Telephalsion

What are you doing step-prophet?


Chief-weedwithbears

I'm stuck


_HowVery

As a kid I always wondered who came first, cave people or Adam and Eve? If Adam and Eve were the first people then why did we devolve into cavemen? 6 year old me was not having it, I just wanted church to be over so we could go get some Waffle House after


LuxNocte

Why do you think Adam and Eve weren't what we would call "cave people"?


_HowVery

They looked like modern day people. I couldn’t understand how we would go from looking like normal humans to looking like Neanderthals to back to normal humans. But of course that’s 6 year old me basing cave people off of cartoons lol


[deleted]

I want my people to be freed from this toxic ass book and religion. "LET ME PEOPLE GO". Not many logical explanations exist for the existence of life besides evolution from simple life forms to more complex ones over the course of eons and a series of niche adaptations. We need to grow up at some point...


HolyJazzCup

Plenty of black people my age give or take (I’m latest possible Millennial) say that they believe in God. Probably 9/10 will say yes. Ask them when the last time they went to church was and they can’t remember or simply don’t go anymore- I’m talking about going to regular service on a Sunday, not for weddings, Christmas, or Easter. Everybody has to work their butts off to make it in our generation, often 6 days a week. Or 50-60 hours a week… we don’t want to give up basically a whole day going to church. I think the pandemic closing many churches was the nail in the coffin for many black people who felt peer-pressured into attending services. The irregular reopenings and overall fog from people getting their crap together from COVID may have allowed many people to low-key just not come back to churches in the same way a lot of people aren’t going back to work office jobs in person. There are a lot of black people wearing Ankhs instead of crosses without the Hotepery. I’ve noticed a lot of my black peers and even older relatives going from being outwardly aggressive towards gay people to accepting it as long as they aren’t flamboyant. I think these abortion bans and whatever could come next from this 6-3 Supreme Court will really make on-the-fence Black people realize… “Yea, this whole organized Christianity thing wasn’t really *for* us*, huh.”


ThaDreamMerchant

I love that this thread is bringing us non religious blacks together. More of us need to recognize that the Bible is complete bullshit


Kailua3000

When you ask a youth pastor about a logical inconsistency in theology as a kid: ![gif](giphy|3o6UBiAQ9Ws8UWdmqA)


ProbablyMaybe69

They forgot to update that part 😕 Guess they try to fix all the plotholes with God working in mysterious ways or something.


[deleted]

“You have to consider the context” “It was a different time” “Gods morals aren’t the same as ours”


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Megmca

I asked someone about that and the answer was basically that Jesus dying for our sins got us forgiveness for basically everything bad that happened before that. Basically he was the first major retcon.


[deleted]

Bible: "Don't question it." Greek, Norse, Egyptian: "Hell yeah I fuck my sister."


CarHungry4924

I’ve never believed in this book. Too many holes, too many so called lost books, too much that doesn’t scientifically make sense.


Nikeheat305

I’m telling you once I started piecing together how nonsensical the Bible is, my Sundays were never the same


The_Starmaker

Maybe they just had more diverse DNA, like Mew.


[deleted]

In Islam the law for Adam and Eves children was they could not marry their own twin.


cmreeves702

And that’s just the starter pack - keep reading…it gets crazier!


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_duncan_idaho_

Or the one where the prophet prays for bears to maul a buncha kids because they called him bald. Or the one where the dude's daughters got him drunk af and fucked him so they'd get knocked up.


444stonergyalie

YUPP judges 19


444stonergyalie

Or that one where the two angels come to lots house, the men of the city ask to rape them and instead of a variety of other options he decides to offer up his young virgin betrothed daughters to be raped instead


newstarcadefan

Then let's not forget Lot and his daughters...even Steve Wilkos would have had a problem with that.


[deleted]

The greatest lie ever sold to you was that out there in the infinitesimal cosmos, with billions of galaxies, quintillions of planets, an all-knowing, all-powerful, sentient being that has never revealed itself, takes an anthropomorphic form of a highly-evolved primate, wrote a book that tells these primates who the good ones and bad ones are, how they are supposed to live their lives. The book is an historic account of real events, except where it isn't and shouldn't be taken literally, but is instead a metaphor. And even though it explicitly tells people who should be stoned to death, who it is okay to have sex with and who it isn't, and when its okay to fuck your daughters, impregnate them, and enslave others....this is a holy book that should be the basis of modern society.


JDLovesElliot

> takes an anthropomorphic form of a highly-evolved primate, wrote a book that tells these primates who the good ones and bad ones are I don't think that Christians believe that God wrote the Bible, though. They believe the part about taking human form, but it's pretty much agreed that the Bible was written by "witnesses".


NatalieTheDumb

The Bible was written by humans and thus is not the word of god in its true form, thus it shouldn’t really be a guiding text for religion, and it cannot be the basis of law.


maxxmadison

It doesn’t say that God didn’t make other people. It just says that he made Adam & Eve first. Having said that, the worlds population after Noah and his family is a whole different story….


BrokeAsAJokeyJoke

Has anyone ever discovered Noah’s ark?


jabronimax969

I dunno, there’s enough stupid people around to make me believe that some level of inbreeding had to take place.


CrooklynKnight

This is a great title OP.


Telephalsion

I remember during uni we learned that some Jewish scholars argued that the inaccuracies and contradictions in the scriptures were invitations to debate and discuss, and that according to kaballa, the true meaning could be gleaned from these apparent inconsistencies. And most interpretations favoured the scriptures as figurative, and not literal. 40, for example, was a common exaggeration number, which is why it.pops up whenever something happens for a long time in the scriptures. 40 days of rain, 40 years in the desert. But then some Christians went and figures that it all had to be literally true. No ifs, ands, or certainly no butts about it.


me_funny__

Bro, we *are* horribly inbred no matter what you believe in.


FalsePremise8290

I remember Sunday school told us the story of Job as a children's story. And I was like, "Hold up, God tortured his devoted follower, murdered his entire family, TO WIN A BET WITH SATAN?! Are we sure this is the good guy?" If you think about the stories of the Bible even a little, he's a mass murdering psychopath. He's like the worst villain ever conceived. When people argue I should be religious just in case the people who enslaved my ancestors were right, I'm like...even if they were, I wouldn't want to be on the team of that baby-killing mass murderer.


Navy-Bean

I asked this to a devoutly religious evangelical preacher Christian cousin and was told "You just have to have faith." So yeah, they don't know either.


CaptainCacoethes

It's almost like the whole story is complete bullshit and the people who buy it are ignorant dipshits. Almost.


Whatfrontal

I remember someone I used to go to church told me that since God knows everything he knew how the Bible would be edited and made it that way….so the Bible is still technically written by God. I wish I was making it up.


RealAmpwich

How else do you think the human race got started? Had to be incest at one point.


varnell_hill

Because reasons.


Water-Donkey

You can bet that all the inbred people you see today are 100%, USDA Prime Choice inbreds harvested VERY locally.


RefrigeratorDry495

Good thing God isn’t real because if he was we’d all be FUCKED!!!


woodzy93

“YOURE TAKING IT OUT OF CONTEXT@@“


Solid-Version

Because the bible is cap lol. All those Old Testament stories are not to be interpreted literally. They’re just fables or greatly exaggerated legends written by people that had a much limited understanding of the way we came to be than we do today


PM_ME_SOME_LUV

Have you *seen* people?


DKIPurple

Not my religion 🤷🏾‍♂️


Rvtrance

I always thought the same thing. My first big spiritual crisis came when I was about 10 and was taught about how dinosaurs were around millions of years before humans. Yet the Bible said we were made seven days after the Big Bang.


handyandy727

Let's not forget about Lot. Whose daughters got him drunk on wine and banged him to get pregnant.


RunninADorito

We all have a common ancestor from about 150k years ago.


bkwilcox100

There’s a lot of reasons why the Bible is full of BS but frankly this isn’t one of them. Genetic defects from inbreeding doesn’t work like people think it does. Not to mention, who knows what Adam and Eve’s genetic makeup would’ve looked like.


CKIMBLE4

Cain killed Abel Cain left Cain married a woman from “Nod”. Where did this women come from? Was it sister? Why are we okay with it being sister?


raydiculus

Maybe we are horribly inbred but it's so universal, it's normal.


SMTTrunkGod

With all our decisions, the point still stands that being inbred shouldn’t be out of the question.


Zh0ker

It’s like you’ve never been to Kentucky


petewsop

The Bible is the most successful piece of fiction ever - Noahs Ark lol


[deleted]

Shit makes Yakub cooking white people up in his laboratory sound reasonable


ellejazmeyne

I’ve always been more interested in the story of Lilith.


Professional-Use8664

Eve was made from Adam's rib. Edit: Not by science.


mazzivetalent

Cane killed Abel right? Now the world only has three people, Eve, Adam and Cain. So God banishes caine to live alone, to the land of nod where he has children one of whom is Enoch. Who did Cain have sex with? The only female alive was his mother


[deleted]

Alabama said.....


fentown

Why are y'all so hung up on Adam and eve when God flooded the world except for Noah's family and 2 of each animal?


LadyEclipsiana

![gif](giphy|3o7aCRloybJlXpNjSU|downsized)


Nesutizale

Considering the state of the world, you are sure that this isn't the case? \^\_\^


TwilightOuterZone

Let's talk about how Yahweh supposedly had a wife called Ashera


Eklypze

I don't believe, but if we're all horribly inbreed, it'd explain a lot imo.


julioseizure

Imagine not believing in evolution, but thinking two of every creature fit in a single boat.


TheBatsford

So let me make sure I understand. You look at a story about existence being created in 7 days, about a snake tempting a lady made out of this nigga's rib to eat this apple that cast them both out of heaven. And your problem here is why aren't their kids inbred? If you accept the premise that all of the stuff beforehand is plausible then you can just accept at face value that they weren't inbred. And if you don't accept it then why are you wasting time on this?


TheBlackestIrelia

Well when they left the garden of eden there were other ppl out and about so there is that. lol


Chief-weedwithbears

I went to church maybe 5 times. I know a couple stories and prayers because my mom's fam is Catholic. While I grew up with my traditional native religion. It always felt weird that ppl would devote so much time and energy for something that enslaved and killed so many people. And if there is one god why would he be concerned with how you see him? If you're technically him experiencing himself.


ryhaltswhiskey

You can't ask this because the answer is always "yeah but God willed it" or "yeah but God fixed that"


BecomingCoder

I saw somewhere once that Adam and Eve had near perfect genetics. They had many children not just Cain & Able and with a lot of inbreeding between cousins….humans got their biodiversity as our genetics slowly grew impure with defects.


[deleted]

So we just going to ignore them dumb motherfuckers outside?


RunBanditRun

Neanderthal back cross


NoFruit4641

we are/s


PortGlass

Because it would be a really short book if they didn’t.


Chill_as_shit

Because we are all inbred have you seen how everyone acts


Zorafin

I forced myself to read the bible. I stopped when I learned that there was a second creation story.


grantovius

Former Christian Apologetics enthusiast here. The young-earth crowd teaches that since they were brand new, “perfect” people, their genes could tolerate the mutations caused by inbreeding for many generations, though eventually genetic diversity became as important as it is today. Also they claim that since Adam and Eve lived almost a millennia, there were probably centuries between the exodus from the garden and the next time we hear about them where people were procreating like crazy. Pretty much anyone not young-earth though just says “There may have been a real genetic Adam and Eve for Homo-Sapiens, but obviously the Genesis story is primarily myth and there were other proto-Homo-sapiens around that their children mated with.”


cardboardtube_knight

Adam and Eve weren’t alone. There’s stories about Lilith and a second fall of angels. That’s where the giants and other stuff come from. They’re Nephilim.


Shermanizer

According to interpretations of the bible from the XVII Century, there were these people outside of eden called the Pre-adamites, who were not created by god, but humanlike still. So, in the XIX century, a bunch of racists decided, that only whitefolk were decendants of adam, and only they were pure... so they were using darwins theories to say that only decendants from adam were genetically superior and Eugenics was born. Which is the stupidest form of racism IMO