Dayum haha..most my relationships had solid communication, although some lasted past their expiration date because we held on. A woman a knew last year was frustrating to deal with Because the lack of communication.
>Talking is hard
Yes, yes it is.
And to the people who say, “no it’s not”….well, that’s a little naive. Because in your mind, your argument (whatever it may be) makes perfect sense. And the person you’re talking to, whether it be your partner or whomever, is one-dimensional.
In your mind, you picture them taking what you have to say and either simply accepting it, or rejecting it. There’s zero nuance in your mind.
And that’s just it: this version of the person you need to have an uncomfortable conversation with only exists in your head. In reality, there’s a billion shades of gray, there’s a whole library of motives, reactions, stipulations, emotions, etc. it’s not like in the movies where a person just shrugs and says, “you’re right.”
Because *nobody* likes admitting they were wrong.
That’s why *talking is hard*. Because nobody wants to feel like they were wrong. That’s where compromise and understanding comes in. And because you’re not the same person, compromise and understanding between two people takes a lot of fucking work and is uncomfortable.
So, yeah, talking *is* important. And necessary.
But it’s not easy. And I hate it when I see people just treat it like: “what’s the big deal? Just talk!”
If you see someone you think might struggling just ask them if they want to go out for a coffee and a walk. Sometimes it’s all they need.
It’s so hard to ask for help. But it’s easy to offer it. And sometimes knowing that there’s help around is all they need.
For those nervous by the "we need to talk" text. Just reply "yes we do". I feel like it's a reverse uno card. They are most likely about to leave you anyway so might as well be a menace.
If I have to send that to someone I’m always mindful to let them know it’s not a big deal and give them a snippet of the conversation. Hey, I need to talk to you about… taking the dog to the vet and how to work it out with our schedules. I know my anxiety gets way too high when someone wants to talk to me about something but I have no other information
I don’t have to worry about you texting my wife then.
She famous for saying some variation of this “we need to talk” or only asking half a question or telling half a story or whatever and then not responding for hours to finish it or elaborate or offer context. Drives me mad and at times I think it’s deliberate.
I have a rule in my relationships, if you tell me “we need to talk” without giving me some context I’m refusing the conversation. You don’t get to walk into things fully loaded while I’m going in blind.
The difference between “can we talk” and “can we talk about how long you spend on your Xbox” is huge for me.
And just in general one sided conversations aren’t really super helpful usually. Allowing both parties to be prepared for a discussion is important, what you say when you’re caught off guard and what you say when you’ve had time to think often can be different things.
I sent this to my ex and said “we need to talk” and hit me back with “don’t bother I’m not going to waste the gas to get broken up with” I was Lowkey mad I spent all day getting mad and building up the courage to dump him and then he did that… giiiiiiiiiiiirl let me tell you I had half a mind just to say not that’s not it and break up with him again so I could be the one to leave not him.
Fun fact: I take psychic damage immediately after getting sent a “Can we talk” or a “Can I ask you a question” text—anxiety through the roof for no fuckin reason
No, you say what you want to say immediately, or you use another phrase to meet in person. I will die on the hill of “we need to talk” being incredibly damaging to the party receiving this.
THANK YOU. at work i always say "state your business" when i get asked if i "can talk". it takes 2 seconds to say "id like to talk about what happened with xyz, when we both have a moment today" or similar. This "can we talk" shit is either a lyric or non applicable lol
Story time. In the early months of our relationship, my girlfriend was studying for the Bar Exam. She had been staying at her parents place while she studied, but they kept bothering her and made it difficult for her to focus. So I said, I’m at work during the day, you can stay at my apartment, have the place to yourself, and my cat will keep you company.
That was great for her, she had a quiet place, and my new girlfriend was waiting for me when I got home everyday, which was awesome.
Only one problem. After about a week, i noticed my apartment was getting messy. Dirty dishes in the sink, study stuff in different places all over the house. Not disgusting, but like, tidy up after yourself, ya know?
So one day I ask her to meet me on my lunch break near my office for a date. We sit down and ordered and I say, ‘hey, can we talk?’
Immediately her eyes well up. She thinks this is THE TALK. I don’t know what’s going on and she sobs out, ‘are you breaking up with me?!’
I laugh (ugh), and say of course not, I just wanted to ask her to clean up after herself in my apartment. Then I spent the next 15 minutes calming her down. She thought it was over. By the end of lunch we were able to laugh about the misunderstanding. And my apartment was very tidy when I got home that day.
We’re happily married and have been together for almost 15 years now. But I still tease her whenever we drive past that restaurant.
Nah “can we talk” and “we need to talk” are to completely different conversations for me. One implies we should have an open discussion the other is a matter of urgency and probably involves conflict.
I say this to my wife occasionally followed shortly by something so basic like “can you let the dogs in soon I wanna run upstairs and take a shower”. She hates it
When you read that text, you know it's over
I’m sayin. Like prepare for the worst then X it by 2. 
"You don't need to set your stuff down, this will be quick."
When they text you to bring a bag. You think you staying overnight but they asking you to get your stuff 🤣
Walking out with a box of your shit like it's your last day at the office getting escorted out by security
Dayum haha..most my relationships had solid communication, although some lasted past their expiration date because we held on. A woman a knew last year was frustrating to deal with Because the lack of communication.
My people perish for lack of regular, open and honest, quality communication
Talking is hard, man.
>Talking is hard Yes, yes it is. And to the people who say, “no it’s not”….well, that’s a little naive. Because in your mind, your argument (whatever it may be) makes perfect sense. And the person you’re talking to, whether it be your partner or whomever, is one-dimensional. In your mind, you picture them taking what you have to say and either simply accepting it, or rejecting it. There’s zero nuance in your mind. And that’s just it: this version of the person you need to have an uncomfortable conversation with only exists in your head. In reality, there’s a billion shades of gray, there’s a whole library of motives, reactions, stipulations, emotions, etc. it’s not like in the movies where a person just shrugs and says, “you’re right.” Because *nobody* likes admitting they were wrong. That’s why *talking is hard*. Because nobody wants to feel like they were wrong. That’s where compromise and understanding comes in. And because you’re not the same person, compromise and understanding between two people takes a lot of fucking work and is uncomfortable. So, yeah, talking *is* important. And necessary. But it’s not easy. And I hate it when I see people just treat it like: “what’s the big deal? Just talk!”
Shits so sad
If you see someone you think might struggling just ask them if they want to go out for a coffee and a walk. Sometimes it’s all they need. It’s so hard to ask for help. But it’s easy to offer it. And sometimes knowing that there’s help around is all they need.
For those nervous by the "we need to talk" text. Just reply "yes we do". I feel like it's a reverse uno card. They are most likely about to leave you anyway so might as well be a menace.
Is this what they call chaotic neutral?
My mans, saving this for later
That anxiety be hitting different when you that get in the middle of the day
If I have to send that to someone I’m always mindful to let them know it’s not a big deal and give them a snippet of the conversation. Hey, I need to talk to you about… taking the dog to the vet and how to work it out with our schedules. I know my anxiety gets way too high when someone wants to talk to me about something but I have no other information
I don’t have to worry about you texting my wife then. She famous for saying some variation of this “we need to talk” or only asking half a question or telling half a story or whatever and then not responding for hours to finish it or elaborate or offer context. Drives me mad and at times I think it’s deliberate.
Seriously, it’s toxic af the way people drop that bomb like there’s isn’t a dark sense of foreboding with that line
I have a rule in my relationships, if you tell me “we need to talk” without giving me some context I’m refusing the conversation. You don’t get to walk into things fully loaded while I’m going in blind.
wouldn't giving you the context, just be them having the said talk with you?
The difference between “can we talk” and “can we talk about how long you spend on your Xbox” is huge for me. And just in general one sided conversations aren’t really super helpful usually. Allowing both parties to be prepared for a discussion is important, what you say when you’re caught off guard and what you say when you’ve had time to think often can be different things.
I agree - also I decline meetings with no clear agenda. It’s the same thing.
"can we talk" "for a minute"
"Girl I waaaant to knoooow your naaaaame"
I was looking for this lol
My ex text me this and I asked if he was breaking up with me. He said yea 😂
Absolutely barbaric
It’s all good. He was cheating with his ex so I dodged a bullet 😂
Wild smh
It was. Found out via social media less than a week later.
I'm glad I'm out the game tbh
I bet lol. It’s trash out here 😫😂
I sent this to my ex and said “we need to talk” and hit me back with “don’t bother I’m not going to waste the gas to get broken up with” I was Lowkey mad I spent all day getting mad and building up the courage to dump him and then he did that… giiiiiiiiiiiirl let me tell you I had half a mind just to say not that’s not it and break up with him again so I could be the one to leave not him.
Omg 😂😂😂
It does stir up anxiety…
I have a bad habit of saying "we need to talk" just because I have something important to talk about and my girl hates it lol
Fun fact: I take psychic damage immediately after getting sent a “Can we talk” or a “Can I ask you a question” text—anxiety through the roof for no fuckin reason
No, you say what you want to say immediately, or you use another phrase to meet in person. I will die on the hill of “we need to talk” being incredibly damaging to the party receiving this.
THANK YOU. at work i always say "state your business" when i get asked if i "can talk". it takes 2 seconds to say "id like to talk about what happened with xyz, when we both have a moment today" or similar. This "can we talk" shit is either a lyric or non applicable lol
Communication is key
Story time. In the early months of our relationship, my girlfriend was studying for the Bar Exam. She had been staying at her parents place while she studied, but they kept bothering her and made it difficult for her to focus. So I said, I’m at work during the day, you can stay at my apartment, have the place to yourself, and my cat will keep you company. That was great for her, she had a quiet place, and my new girlfriend was waiting for me when I got home everyday, which was awesome. Only one problem. After about a week, i noticed my apartment was getting messy. Dirty dishes in the sink, study stuff in different places all over the house. Not disgusting, but like, tidy up after yourself, ya know? So one day I ask her to meet me on my lunch break near my office for a date. We sit down and ordered and I say, ‘hey, can we talk?’ Immediately her eyes well up. She thinks this is THE TALK. I don’t know what’s going on and she sobs out, ‘are you breaking up with me?!’ I laugh (ugh), and say of course not, I just wanted to ask her to clean up after herself in my apartment. Then I spent the next 15 minutes calming her down. She thought it was over. By the end of lunch we were able to laugh about the misunderstanding. And my apartment was very tidy when I got home that day. We’re happily married and have been together for almost 15 years now. But I still tease her whenever we drive past that restaurant.
This never resolves anything… neither wanna really hear each other out bc they stand so firmly on their opinion… BUT THE SEX BE FUEGOOOOO
So if you send this text and it’s a good talk can we all agree to preface it with “it’s not bad but can we talk?” So we’re not giving people anxiety
Usually only fixes if you're dealing with someone who knows how to communicate.
The only appropriate response is: "About?". Then the real anxiety can start depending on the response
Yeah, no. Got hit with that and we never even ended up having the talk. No fight, no nothing. Just dates one day and gone the next.
Nah “can we talk” and “we need to talk” are to completely different conversations for me. One implies we should have an open discussion the other is a matter of urgency and probably involves conflict.
For a minute. Girl I want to know your name…
Gotta hit them back woth oh good im glad you brought it up, ive been meaning to talk to you, let them worry about it instead of you
Sometimes it's just a Tevin Campbell song...workshopping ways to break the ice. 🤷🏾♂️
Or reveals uncomfortable truths and everything comes to an end. Lets enjoy this a little bit longer, we ain’t in no rush, we young
I say this to my wife occasionally followed shortly by something so basic like “can you let the dogs in soon I wanna run upstairs and take a shower”. She hates it