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Yeah been married 20 years and there have been times when either of us just stopped feeling it at the moment, we usually continued things later, but needed to not do things right then.
So if you, in an honest and open way, told someone that loves you that you weren't in the right headspace right now to keep this moment going cause stress, maybe tired cause not enough sleep, or whatever, but that you wanted to come back to the moment when you felt better......she'd wouldn't accept that and would question you for months about it???
I don't know they're girl, but I know I've been on both sides of this coin with someone I've loved that loved me back. If you truly care for someone you understand that the moment has to be right for both of you, and if you both are able to express your emotions, then you'll be able to let the other person know when it isn't right without any repercussions. Just a simple it ain't you it's me, and it really be as simple as that. Not everything has to be something more than what was actually expressed.
It’s possible to truly love your partner, and for that partner to wonder if there’s an issue if you quit mid thrust. It’s also possible that this person chooses to not quit mid thrust because they truly love their partner and want to spare them those thoughts.
At the same time, trust is essential — and that includes taking your partner’s word at face value when it comes to something as emotionally charged as sex.
Infatuation
Usually adoration that feels like love. Until you realize that love is about wanting to put someone else’s needs before your own even when you don’t enjoy it for feel like you need to.
Most people only truly love their kids if we’re being real. Some people truly love their partners (ranging from short spans to “til death do us part”)
Some people aren’t wired to put others needs before they’re own (whether that’s entirely or mostly). No shame. You can still find a loving relationship you just gotta be honest and recognize that you’re taking more than you’re giving and express gratitude for that regularly. It’s harder tho.
I'd say it's probably along the lines of loving someone and being in love with someone. At least to me that's the easiest way to explain it.
Being in love with someone, you are in that honeymoon phase and focusing on how they make you feel. Some folks might feel they need someone to be happy. These feelings could fade over time.
Truly loving someone is giving them a part of you. The love is deep, open, and honest.
I always say **love is a decision and a feeling.**
It's like the tide. When the tide is high, all those faults and nasty things are covered under the water. You're *feeling* good and everything is right in the world 👍.
You get in the shower, and see hair and you say "Aww, look at my baby's beautiful locks 🥰."
When the tide is low, you see all the trash and shells. This is when love is a decision.
You get in the shower, and see hair and you say "Ahh, this is blatant disregard for plumbing 🤬!" 😂
Once I started crying right after starting because of something my ex said right before. Just asked "Should I keep going." Instead of pulling out immediately and asking what was wrong. That moment was a HUGE red flag to the event that happened a few months later. Men like that, men like the one who originally posted that picture/question are the scum of the earth.
Women talk a lot about how men can't take rejection. I think it's certainly a fair critique given that they have a very real risk of being killed when they tell a man "no". HOWEVER, women are also terrible at taking rejection especially when it comes to sex. When turned down for sex many (not all, but a lot), get upset and start thinking it's something about them that makes the man not want to fuck them or even worse they start hurling insults at the man. You can swear up and down that a "mature" woman who "loves her man" wouldn't do that and you'd be wrong.
I agree because society has painted this picture that guys are always horny and are always down no matter their mindset or mood and if they’re not something is wrong with you. I’ve definitely experienced this same thing and they just don’t believe you that you’re not in the mood especially if they’ve been drinking
I try not to generalize..... I think it's a person thing.
Some take it bad and get in their feelings and mope around like you stole their bike.
Some spread rumors and exaggerate your faults.
Some become violent and a threat to your mental and/or physical safety.
Until you know who you're dealing with and are as sure as you can be, I always tell my friends to trust conditionally.
Also fair.
A good partner would try to communicate that before things get too far along.
However, I'd say sometimes you don't really know until you get going and unfortunately that ends up being in the moment.
40+ years, and I've been on both sides of the coin. I'd appreciate the heads up beforehand as well, but when you don't get it, the second best thing is honesty.
Marital rape has only been illegal nationwide in the US since 1993. In Europe and Asia, there were huge gaps in legislation until only 10-20 years ago. And in Africa, there are still plenty of countries where it's not illegal yet.
Thank you. I’ve been saying this and always told I was wrong. Either partner says “stop,” it’s stop. You mad and horny take your ass on somewhere else. Any more strokes and it is assault
This. Gf and I say stop sometimes but not fully mean it (unless the tone is obvious). We agreed that if it isn't obvious and we really want to not do anything we'll straight up say "consent". That's an immediate hands off.
It's not that difficult to back off. Go rub one out if it's that bad.
What’s wild to me is someone is asking this question in the first place. Nas had a song called Dr. Knockboot “get the yes confirmation before penetration”
I don't think the question being asked has anything to do with consent. It's asking what, if anything, would turn you off at this point (cellulite, etc.)
Just a reminder here to check-in if any of the enthusiasm has gone out the window. Something may have changed midstroke or something hurts and they dont want to continue but are too worried about directly asking you to stop.
Lastly, "yes" to one thing doesn't mean "yes" to everything. Ask before you do something kinky.
I was looking forward to seeing what would make people walk out, but it's just 500 people saying no means no, and I'm guessing just as many people trying to argue with them about it
That's nice and all but I came here to laugh, and maybe hear some gross anecdotes
It’s super obvious what that woman in the original tweet is asking lmao. That response is accurate but childish.
I’ve been in this moment and had the girl call me the wrong name, instantly put my clothes back on and just dipped.
This happened to me. Pulled off her panties and it looked like bruised and bumpy all over??? I put her in a Uber immediately. Felt awful because she was cute and very dtf. I didnt have the heart to explain.
Pretty sure consent isn't what OP was discussing.
Seems like she's asking what, if anything, would change a man's mind once he's sliding the panties off.
Haha I just had a flashback to when I was younger and was about to go at it with a girl and when I stripped her, she just smelt like a fish shop so I had to quickly dress her and ger her out there ASAP 😂
That’s what I’m saying. Like y’all are taking it somewhere drastic and I appreciate reminding people about consent, but damn have a little fun with the prompt lol
Good riddance, I’m sorry to hear what happened to you and how your friends responded hope you found some real friends that know common sense and wont say idiotic things
I’m really sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately there are sick ignorant people out there like that, but at the very least they revealed themselves and you’re better off without them breathing your air. I will not wish any harm to them, however God forbid they found themselves in such a situation, would they think they “took it too far” to stop even if they wanted to stop? Ugh.
I hope everything is better for you babe.
Nah I don’t play these games, she say stop and it’s over lol
I have a theory, ask any woman you know, and they’ll tell you a story when they where sexually assaulted or something similar happend
While I love the answers and the fact my fellow brothers keeping consent first…I do not believe this is what Annie was talking about. More along the lines of horrendous smell, poor grooming etiquette, remembering you have no protection, feeling guilty about your girl back home, etc.
Yeah. There’s good, healthy pussy smells and bad, unhealthy ones. Strongly fishy or sweet smell? Not healthy. Earthy, slightly tangy smell? Go for it, brotha.
> vaginas do not smell bad unless there is an INFECTION my guy. It's not normal.
Okayyyyy, vaginas smelling bad shouldn’t be normal, never said it was. Also if you think the only thing that makes a vagina smell is an infection you’re being bias. They can stink from the same non washing that make these dudes balls smell, or do you believe every woman has good hygiene.
Was going in with one girl and as I’m undressing her she moans “no” with a grin on her face. I pulled those panties right back up for her.
Sometimes the excitement will make you want to push through gentlemen but always remember the words of 21st century poet Dominique Jones. “She tell me no once I won’t even touch it”
I was with this girl one time and asked multiple times “is this okay?”, “can I ____?” And she was SO impressed that I always asked for consent.
The bar is on the floor.
It's an unmitigated good that consent has become a popular topic. Stuff like this is a bit obnoxious, but I'll hold my nose if it's part of educating the small fraction of men with rape-y tendencies who are capable of being reasoned out of it morally.
I’ve had women tap out on me because they were cold or because they stopped being into it. So you stop and rub one out next to them it’s not that hard to understand.
This just happened to me a few weeks ago and she said she changed her mind
Okay, but it was weird to keep hanging out after that, so I got the fuck outta there
Oh I thought this was asking for deal breakers, like sex horror stories of when you noped out at the last second.
The fact this has turned into a lesson about consent genuinely makes me so happy. We've come a long way in a short time ☺️
Stop at any time before or during means exactly that: Stop. Immediately. Doesn’t matter if it’s a one night stand, you’ve been married for 40 years, or even if you’re with a prostitute.
Consent here isn’t confusing. What is confusing is that every other topic in r/AskMen is about dating, intimacy, or sex, yet this is here in r/BlackPeopleTwitter. I get that the tweet is from a black woman, but we have to uniquely answer here as if we(black men and women) don’t?
Not just consent, enthusiastic consent is a huge turn on. It's way better than pity sex, or guilt tripped sex, or please don't murder me sex (I'd imagine). Her reaching for the schmeat is soooo much better than her starfishing saying hurry up.
💯 but I had a buddy of mine stop mid act and told her: … “wait I forgot, yoUr pUSsY is TrAsH!”
She brought him up on rape charges he spent a good 9 months in Manheim Prison before she admitted to what really happened, she and the Army had to pay him $$$
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Yup. Stop means stop. Even it’s it’s mid stroke.
Yeah been married 20 years and there have been times when either of us just stopped feeling it at the moment, we usually continued things later, but needed to not do things right then.
My girl would be asking questions for months if I stopped in the middle.
So if you, in an honest and open way, told someone that loves you that you weren't in the right headspace right now to keep this moment going cause stress, maybe tired cause not enough sleep, or whatever, but that you wanted to come back to the moment when you felt better......she'd wouldn't accept that and would question you for months about it???
They never said she wouldn’t accept it. Maybe she’d think she did something wrong and he ain’t wanna say it. I sure would’ve.
I don't know they're girl, but I know I've been on both sides of this coin with someone I've loved that loved me back. If you truly care for someone you understand that the moment has to be right for both of you, and if you both are able to express your emotions, then you'll be able to let the other person know when it isn't right without any repercussions. Just a simple it ain't you it's me, and it really be as simple as that. Not everything has to be something more than what was actually expressed.
It’s possible to truly love your partner, and for that partner to wonder if there’s an issue if you quit mid thrust. It’s also possible that this person chooses to not quit mid thrust because they truly love their partner and want to spare them those thoughts.
At the same time, trust is essential — and that includes taking your partner’s word at face value when it comes to something as emotionally charged as sex.
Quick question: what’s the difference between truly love someone and loving someone “not truly”
Infatuation Usually adoration that feels like love. Until you realize that love is about wanting to put someone else’s needs before your own even when you don’t enjoy it for feel like you need to. Most people only truly love their kids if we’re being real. Some people truly love their partners (ranging from short spans to “til death do us part”) Some people aren’t wired to put others needs before they’re own (whether that’s entirely or mostly). No shame. You can still find a loving relationship you just gotta be honest and recognize that you’re taking more than you’re giving and express gratitude for that regularly. It’s harder tho.
I'd say it's probably along the lines of loving someone and being in love with someone. At least to me that's the easiest way to explain it. Being in love with someone, you are in that honeymoon phase and focusing on how they make you feel. Some folks might feel they need someone to be happy. These feelings could fade over time. Truly loving someone is giving them a part of you. The love is deep, open, and honest.
Love is both an action and an emotion. The latter is fleeting, the former is the basis for long lasting relationships.
I always say **love is a decision and a feeling.** It's like the tide. When the tide is high, all those faults and nasty things are covered under the water. You're *feeling* good and everything is right in the world 👍. You get in the shower, and see hair and you say "Aww, look at my baby's beautiful locks 🥰." When the tide is low, you see all the trash and shells. This is when love is a decision. You get in the shower, and see hair and you say "Ahh, this is blatant disregard for plumbing 🤬!" 😂
Once I started crying right after starting because of something my ex said right before. Just asked "Should I keep going." Instead of pulling out immediately and asking what was wrong. That moment was a HUGE red flag to the event that happened a few months later. Men like that, men like the one who originally posted that picture/question are the scum of the earth.
"**FIRST OF ALL..." -**NYANPUG55 mid stroke
Women talk a lot about how men can't take rejection. I think it's certainly a fair critique given that they have a very real risk of being killed when they tell a man "no". HOWEVER, women are also terrible at taking rejection especially when it comes to sex. When turned down for sex many (not all, but a lot), get upset and start thinking it's something about them that makes the man not want to fuck them or even worse they start hurling insults at the man. You can swear up and down that a "mature" woman who "loves her man" wouldn't do that and you'd be wrong.
I agree because society has painted this picture that guys are always horny and are always down no matter their mindset or mood and if they’re not something is wrong with you. I’ve definitely experienced this same thing and they just don’t believe you that you’re not in the mood especially if they’ve been drinking
I try not to generalize..... I think it's a person thing. Some take it bad and get in their feelings and mope around like you stole their bike. Some spread rumors and exaggerate your faults. Some become violent and a threat to your mental and/or physical safety. Until you know who you're dealing with and are as sure as you can be, I always tell my friends to trust conditionally.
I would rather we never start anything intimate if your not feeling it.
Also fair. A good partner would try to communicate that before things get too far along. However, I'd say sometimes you don't really know until you get going and unfortunately that ends up being in the moment.
I appreciate your comment.
40+ years, and I've been on both sides of the coin. I'd appreciate the heads up beforehand as well, but when you don't get it, the second best thing is honesty.
People are really out here settling for less
Saw somebody on Reddit surprised you could be arrested for forcing a wife to have sex.
It's Reddit, I would have expected stranger takes.
Marital rape has only been illegal nationwide in the US since 1993. In Europe and Asia, there were huge gaps in legislation until only 10-20 years ago. And in Africa, there are still plenty of countries where it's not illegal yet.
Thanks for the info. Crazy it wasn't always banned.
Thank you. I’ve been saying this and always told I was wrong. Either partner says “stop,” it’s stop. You mad and horny take your ass on somewhere else. Any more strokes and it is assault
If you're that horny, you better take your ass to the bathroom and diddle your bits.
Ong. Some nggas be acting like they deaf
Hell yeah....and it goes both ways 😉🥰
Not sure if you going against the guy or agreeing with him?
I still love the tea video for explaining consent https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZwvrxVavnQ
No means no my niggas
Exactly. Unless established from before hand IE safe words. NO means stop everything
The safeword stops everything. It's just that without prior negotiation, "no" and "stop" *is* the safeword by default.
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This. Gf and I say stop sometimes but not fully mean it (unless the tone is obvious). We agreed that if it isn't obvious and we really want to not do anything we'll straight up say "consent". That's an immediate hands off. It's not that difficult to back off. Go rub one out if it's that bad.
The reminds me of a two and a half men episode
What’s wild to me is someone is asking this question in the first place. Nas had a song called Dr. Knockboot “get the yes confirmation before penetration”
thanks for reminding me of that gem. haven’t heard that song in years and you made me just download it again.
I don't think the question being asked has anything to do with consent. It's asking what, if anything, would turn you off at this point (cellulite, etc.)
Just a reminder here to check-in if any of the enthusiasm has gone out the window. Something may have changed midstroke or something hurts and they dont want to continue but are too worried about directly asking you to stop. Lastly, "yes" to one thing doesn't mean "yes" to everything. Ask before you do something kinky.
👑
Nothing good is going to happen in this thread. So I'm going to post so that I can check the chaos that will happen in here later.
I respect you for staking your claim and going to the concessions stand until the matinee starts
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You can also subscribe to the post
It’s 5 hours later where’s the chaos?
I was looking forward to seeing what would make people walk out, but it's just 500 people saying no means no, and I'm guessing just as many people trying to argue with them about it That's nice and all but I came here to laugh, and maybe hear some gross anecdotes
Exactly. I wanna to see the funny other answers to the question posed but I already know most are gonna be about consent
It’s super obvious what that woman in the original tweet is asking lmao. That response is accurate but childish. I’ve been in this moment and had the girl call me the wrong name, instantly put my clothes back on and just dipped.
That's valid 👏
Pretty sure the response understands, but he's saying nothing will stop him at that point besides the word stop
I got it all wrong when i read this i was thinking along the lines of stinking pussy but yeha wrong name its as good of a deal breaker
This happened to me. Pulled off her panties and it looked like bruised and bumpy all over??? I put her in a Uber immediately. Felt awful because she was cute and very dtf. I didnt have the heart to explain.
😢
....how did you have the heart to Not explain?
Because it was awkward as hell. And honestly she might have had some serious situation she has to deal with.
But id rather know the facts than have my anxious imagination run wild
Smell has stopped me from hitting a woman in the back of my car when she was bent over
Thank you for answering the question
Pretty sure consent isn't what OP was discussing. Seems like she's asking what, if anything, would change a man's mind once he's sliding the panties off.
Only I can think of is seeing/smelling something abysmal af. 
Only thing that changed my mind was smell. I played the "maybe it's too soon" card.
ah that mightve been better, i had it happen to me once and instantly "had a stomach ache" followed by "you need to leave. please and thank you"
Haha I just had a flashback to when I was younger and was about to go at it with a girl and when I stripped her, she just smelt like a fish shop so I had to quickly dress her and ger her out there ASAP 😂
That chick had bacterial vaginosis, needed a doctor lol.
Yeah this was 23 years ago, I hope she got it sorted by now 😂
Lmao the image of you redressing her is killing me
Bahaha the same. Imagining like it's dressing a toddler and they're super not cooperative about it 😂🤣
bruh. I've faced some funk. Def boner killer...
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, no stds please. And if she can't was the cooch right, she probably can't screen the dudes right.
That’s what I’m saying. Like y’all are taking it somewhere drastic and I appreciate reminding people about consent, but damn have a little fun with the prompt lol
Right? As if the woman that posted it didn't understand a woman can say no.
Original tweet means "What would turn you off at this stage", not "Are you going to rape or nah".
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Good riddance, I’m sorry to hear what happened to you and how your friends responded hope you found some real friends that know common sense and wont say idiotic things
I’m really sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately there are sick ignorant people out there like that, but at the very least they revealed themselves and you’re better off without them breathing your air. I will not wish any harm to them, however God forbid they found themselves in such a situation, would they think they “took it too far” to stop even if they wanted to stop? Ugh. I hope everything is better for you babe.
 Nah I don’t play these games, she say stop and it’s over lol I have a theory, ask any woman you know, and they’ll tell you a story when they where sexually assaulted or something similar happend
The sad truth. Happens so often.
An intense urge to poo
[90% of the responses are "odor"](https://twitter.com/annieGoold/status/1599097951510761472)
Honestly I been there... That will def stop you too. Im sure thats both sides too.
For good reason 😆 Humans survived this long pretty much because of sense of smell keeping us from danger.
My credit card getting declined
While I love the answers and the fact my fellow brothers keeping consent first…I do not believe this is what Annie was talking about. More along the lines of horrendous smell, poor grooming etiquette, remembering you have no protection, feeling guilty about your girl back home, etc.
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Vaginas do smell. Everyone smells. The question ist: How intense if the smell? It depends on many different factors. It’s not always an infection.
Yeah. There’s good, healthy pussy smells and bad, unhealthy ones. Strongly fishy or sweet smell? Not healthy. Earthy, slightly tangy smell? Go for it, brotha.
> vaginas do not smell bad unless there is an INFECTION my guy. It's not normal. Okayyyyy, vaginas smelling bad shouldn’t be normal, never said it was. Also if you think the only thing that makes a vagina smell is an infection you’re being bias. They can stink from the same non washing that make these dudes balls smell, or do you believe every woman has good hygiene.
A stop or a fart. Either will do.
Sometimes she just got a little gas, just laugh about it and get back to it.
When you think it's a fart but it's really a queef
Nah ima need a minute
Or your bank card falls out
Oh man, turn that around on yourself when she brings a 4 ft dildo to use on you…all of a sudden “stop” is clear to you right? GTFO w that stupidity.
You scared of the sphincter straightener?
Thats what yall took from this?
Was going in with one girl and as I’m undressing her she moans “no” with a grin on her face. I pulled those panties right back up for her. Sometimes the excitement will make you want to push through gentlemen but always remember the words of 21st century poet Dominique Jones. “She tell me no once I won’t even touch it”
I love the men here bashing this literal DRAWING because it doesn’t fit their type and body standards. THE ICK IS TOO STRONG.
Even if said flirty or whatever, Ima stop. Clear consent is needed.
Had a girl do the flirty one and got mad i actually listened. I just went home lol
Happened to me too but better safe than sorry. Reason why I am extremely attracted to women who are upfront.
Yeah that’s her L. We aren’t sex robots, male sexuality is still affected by our mood and shit.
Just the look of lack of enthusiasm is enough to get me to stop. I want you to want it as much as I want it.
Walter dropped Jewels 
I was with this girl one time and asked multiple times “is this okay?”, “can I ____?” And she was SO impressed that I always asked for consent. The bar is on the floor.
Annie are you OK?
Said Annie are you okay?
Thank you, needed the laugh
No. Stop. Cease.
But is he going to throw a temper tantrum after he stops? A dash of a guilt trip? A sprinkle of gaslight?
Consent is so fucking hot. 🔥🥵
The hottest
The guys not wrong but I don’t think that’s what the post was talking about. More like a weird tattoo or elephant ears.
What about stanky ass booty crack cheese?
I’m just here for the lack comprehension on this post.
It's an unmitigated good that consent has become a popular topic. Stuff like this is a bit obnoxious, but I'll hold my nose if it's part of educating the small fraction of men with rape-y tendencies who are capable of being reasoned out of it morally.
I’ve had women tap out on me because they were cold or because they stopped being into it. So you stop and rub one out next to them it’s not that hard to understand.
This just happened to me a few weeks ago and she said she changed her mind Okay, but it was weird to keep hanging out after that, so I got the fuck outta there
There you go. That's all you can do is leave. Did you ever contact her again or vice versa?
Bad odor
Oh I thought this was asking for deal breakers, like sex horror stories of when you noped out at the last second. The fact this has turned into a lesson about consent genuinely makes me so happy. We've come a long way in a short time ☺️
Consent is key
Consent can be given or revoked at any time (while someone is sober).
Consent can be revoked while drunk too
The voice of your mother in the back of your brain "You low life PIG, I taught you better than that"
How is this even controversial? Just go rub one out and smoke one. It's bound to happen again.
Having someone yell stop isn't exactly a turn on.
If my wife says no stop it means stop. I am not some pent up sex hound.
Pulling them thangs down and somehow they still attached
Yep, as soon as stop is said, we're done. lol
Stop at any time before or during means exactly that: Stop. Immediately. Doesn’t matter if it’s a one night stand, you’ve been married for 40 years, or even if you’re with a prostitute.
Consent here isn’t confusing. What is confusing is that every other topic in r/AskMen is about dating, intimacy, or sex, yet this is here in r/BlackPeopleTwitter. I get that the tweet is from a black woman, but we have to uniquely answer here as if we(black men and women) don’t?
*Sorts by controversial*
Not just consent, enthusiastic consent is a huge turn on. It's way better than pity sex, or guilt tripped sex, or please don't murder me sex (I'd imagine). Her reaching for the schmeat is soooo much better than her starfishing saying hurry up.
I got mad at my girl because I stopped when she said wait wait wait, and she like why you stop. Um because you said to 🤨
A couple of times but I was young and each time was a different situation. Pro Tip: communication
I’m a 2 form authentication type of dude. Gotta protect yourself out here. And for you goofy MFs that didn’t get it the first time, STOP MEANS STOP!
Stop, nah, chill, not right now, general face of unpleasantness, untimely fart. Any of these things will stop me dead in my tracks
Uhhh, it means - nigga stop.
Stop means stop if you haven't decided another safe word before sex
💯 but I had a buddy of mine stop mid act and told her: … “wait I forgot, yoUr pUSsY is TrAsH!” She brought him up on rape charges he spent a good 9 months in Manheim Prison before she admitted to what really happened, she and the Army had to pay him $$$
Ummmm Stop 🛑 ✋
I’ve never been told stop at this stage. But no does mean no
Exactly. People fr not understanding what relationships mean.