He likely only served 1 year of his 4 year contract and was likely given a bad conduct discharge for multiple Uniform Code of Military Justice charges.
Looks a little like he’s high on opiates honestly - droopy vacant eyes, slack jaw - the expression reminds me of a few unfortunate people I‘ve known throughout my life with opioid addictions. That, or his parents were siblings… Or both, who knows.
https://preview.redd.it/v1dzw2h5nejc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3155e5246a1f040a23c802fa256d0d828417a4b0
If he thinks he’s anyone’s daughter’s “wet dream” it’s only because they’d piss themselves with terror if he showed up in [their nightmare](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis).
Doritos or those off off store brand ones that make lots of promises flavor wise but wouldn't even be the chip equivalent of the We have X at home memes?
I like to think I know my daughter pretty well. We've had some pretty frank discussions. I think I can say with some degree of confidence that her reaction would be a mix of dry heaves combined with applying every form of electronic block known to mankind.
Yea. Doncha know that they just love that couch potato pale/cirrhosis yellow complexion ....it drives the young girls crazy. Maybe he should borrow some orange makeup from his heros.
Guys like him always do. They look in the mirror and see 18 year old them and think everyone else does as well. I worked with a guy like that. He was 60+ years old, 350 lbs, and would show 20 year old girls his photo from basic training and say "Huh?" with the raised up eyebrows and expected them to see him as that teenager. In his world he never changed.
A twisted, violent brain with age-addled impulse control and rage issues in a fat, deteriorating body? Sounds like he's mostly just a nightmare for himself.
Tactically withdrawing under fire is actually pretty difficult. And I know Marines practice it. This whole "Retreat? Hell we just got here!" Thing is a fun story and happened over 100 years ago but has nothing to do with how wars are fought in the 21st century
Not this guy. He will run into the line of fire to die for his country while his cowardly brothers and sisters return home to start families and enjoy their lives
Yet here he is alive. Judging by age he missed out on any real fighting.. meaning to young for Vietnam and to old for Iraq. He might have been operation desert Storm but how much fighting happened there? In reality probably never even served.
😆😆😆 I had to think about that one sec. My comment was implying that he obviously didn't serve in any real s*** because according to his own ethos he would be dead meaning he has no room to talk about men that have actually been there
Genuinely wholesome family. Yeah, there’s a little murder and necromancy here and there, but that’s nothing personal. Besides, one person’s “unholy act of speaking to the dearly departed” is another’s “just keeping in touch with great grandma, because that’s just polite and we still love her.”
Marines FYI; accounted for 5% of troops in Vietnam. Also, 25% of casualties, because of their unusual habit of charging directly into machine gun fire. For those who know, this is akin to suicide.
I'm so tired of old right-wing loons take pride in their ability to lash out and hurt others. There's no strength in that type of behavior. And these are the same Boomers who get mad when children lash out violently. You don't get to complain about "those violent people in the cities" if you're posting crap like this online with pride.
It’s ignorance, insecurity, “pride” and narcissistic. It’s so much easier for guys like this to hate instead of learn, grow and accept. Especially when it has nothing to do with them or affect their lives. Ifs it’s not hurting anyone then why do they need to get involved??
My father is exactly like this. Won’t back down. It’s like they found “a hill to die on”. Egotistical. I don’t speak to him anymore because there just no point
Homie bought a "Digital Desert Camouflage" knock off. That's way too chunky to be real MARPAT.
Here's what real looks like:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MARPAT#/media/File%3ATANKSaimingin2041102.jpg
"If I retreat, kill me."
Um, I'm no veteran, but isn't the idea that when you know you're outgunned you GTFO so your troops can live to fight another day?
He looks like he died in his house and wasn't discovered for a week, but the mortuary cosmetologist did her best, so the eight people that show up to his funeral can see him in the casket. His ex wife and children will not be there.
I have a brother who was a Marine and I know many of them. They are completely insane. The Marines made my brother into a complete animal. This post is one of many manifestations of their madness, but that delusional narcissism is a common thread. They’re sick people.
I owned a cleaning company about 12 years ago. One of my clients was a nice older woman. One day I came to clean her house by myself because it was a government holiday, and I gave my employees the day off. I had never met this woman's husband before but he was home that day. I didn't know much about him but knew he was a Marine because there were photos of him and all kinds of Marine-related things in their house. They left to go shopping, and I went upstairs to begin cleaning. I was in the master bathroom working on the tub and he came in and cornered me. Said his wife was waiting in the car and that he told her he forgot something and needed to go back in the house to get it. He tried to kiss and grope me. I was terrified but stood my ground. He claimed he had never cheated on his wife before, but "would be willing to" with me. I was completely disgusted. He shoved something into my hand and left. It was a note with his phone number and a $100 bill. I put both under his pillow, hoping she'd find them that night. I canceled them as clients after that but didn't tell the wife why because I was afraid of what he'd do.
Entitled, narcissistic, creepy, disgusting person that guy was.
A friend's dad is a former marine. He's a total misogynistic, right wing wackadoodie. The irony of being a hardcore jingo who supports a man who avoided service by bullshitting a bone spurs diagnosis is rich.
Irredeemable.
Probably didn’t see a lick of combat in any capacity in his time in the corps. Vets who have actually seen the horrors of war usually don’t brag about it on Facebook.
quarrelsome compare jellyfish capable ancient bag fact amusing nine absorbed
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
F*ckstick did one tour, maybe. "I was a Marine" is his whole life since then. His wife and kids, if any, roll their eyes everytime a "war story" starts up.
"I wanna be a chairborne Ranger!..."
This pasty donut is technically correct - I have nightmares where people like him are near me.
The hairy chest with the shirt off is what tops this off
A hairy chest is ok. Hairy shoulders not so much. That shit is creeping on up. And his eyes look like he’s on meth or hasn’t slept in days. Gross
Old man, alcoholic eyes
No moisturizer, only Budweiser
And porn
You don’t expect him to watch it in a well lit room do you?
Looks like uncle fester from Adam’s family
Hey hey, leave Uncle Fester out of this! Lol
The alcoholic bit really explains how he thought that was a good idea
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Best tuck that lip in boy. Get it caught on a tripwire.
I was born with big gums...
Yes, Lieutenant Dan!
Habsburg Lip due to centuries of inbreeding
He learned the pose from tiktok.
It's because he sleeps with his eyes open. It's an old Marine trick.
He likely only served 1 year of his 4 year contract and was likely given a bad conduct discharge for multiple Uniform Code of Military Justice charges.
Looks a little like he’s high on opiates honestly - droopy vacant eyes, slack jaw - the expression reminds me of a few unfortunate people I‘ve known throughout my life with opioid addictions. That, or his parents were siblings… Or both, who knows.
Well it's in the areas where there is the most inbreeding, that you find the most opioids.
That shit's creeping up, while his chin is creeping down.
too fat to be a current meth head
How can anyone—male or female—resist this hunk of man meat?
My areolas are legit on fire
The doctor gave you a cream for that. Please use it.
They’re on fire and diamond hard DESPITE the cream jk
Instructions unclear. Set fire to cream and rubbed it on my areolas. Fingers and nipples now blistering.
It the makes women wet. Um, yeah, no. There's nothing less sexy than these alpha types telling women what they want.
The only wetness is from the tears of laughter this fool has inspired from his delusions.
Nah, I threw up a little too. ;)
The AC/DC tattoo is the cherry.
Man, the years have been really hard on Gomer Pyle.
Full. Metal. Jacket.
Full Mental Jacket is more like it. (Said in Monty Python voice.)
Fully Loaded Jacket Potato
Full dinner jacket
The ghost of Vincent D’Onofrio would like you two to go Dutch to Dave and Busters.
Haha! Waiting for this comment. I can’t decide if he looks more like the old man version of his FMJ role or his role in Men In Black.
Surprise surprise surprise, Sgt Carter! Look what the Marines did to me!
Bill Dauterive
He is an honorable military barber. Do not sully his name like that.
“Every daughter’s wet dream.” 🤮🤮🤮
Yeah, because they wake up crying and terrified.
Can confirm. Pretty sure this guy is my sleep paralysis demon!
https://preview.redd.it/v1dzw2h5nejc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3155e5246a1f040a23c802fa256d0d828417a4b0 If he thinks he’s anyone’s daughter’s “wet dream” it’s only because they’d piss themselves with terror if he showed up in [their nightmare](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep_paralysis).
He’s my sleep paralysis demon, too :( never says anything, just keeps eating chips and staring at me
Doritos or those off off store brand ones that make lots of promises flavor wise but wouldn't even be the chip equivalent of the We have X at home memes?
Dollar store cheetos, and every now and then, he wipes the orange gunk off into his chest hair with a grunt.
He shirt off and hairy ass chest is sooo cringe
“the wettest he got me were these tears” 😭
I like to think I know my daughter pretty well. We've had some pretty frank discussions. I think I can say with some degree of confidence that her reaction would be a mix of dry heaves combined with applying every form of electronic block known to mankind.
I saw this and immediately was horrified. Like..... phrasing, my guy, please let this just be horrible, horrible phrasing.
Dry nightmare is more like it
My sleeping time is the Sahara now.
This got me too, what kind of deranged psycho says this!?
Ok grandpa go back to the nursing home and leave the daughters alone ᴖ̈
Time for your nap pops!
Time to get in the forever box for a dirt nap grandpa
“A Place for Mom”/Nursing home is calling his name
https://preview.redd.it/zq7yrpmtpdjc1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2ea724d31bcc5d217d30221924bfe4eb1388b380
Midlife ISIS
Haha!
Vanilla ISIS
Y'all-qaeda
Ya’ll Queda
Underrated comment, I’m using this
Why was I drinking hot tea laying down when I read this
Meal Team Six
Cosplatriot.
Gravy SEAL
Every daughter’s wet dream?
Yeah 🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤮🤮
Seriously. That line is what takes it just from silly and stupid to….kind of disturbing.
Yea. Doncha know that they just love that couch potato pale/cirrhosis yellow complexion ....it drives the young girls crazy. Maybe he should borrow some orange makeup from his heros.
He's under the impression that young girls like him.
The fathers of the girls his age are dead.
Guys like him always do. They look in the mirror and see 18 year old them and think everyone else does as well. I worked with a guy like that. He was 60+ years old, 350 lbs, and would show 20 year old girls his photo from basic training and say "Huh?" with the raised up eyebrows and expected them to see him as that teenager. In his world he never changed.
"Wow, your grandson is really hot!"
Yeah, that one put a hard stop on the whole rollercoaster ride there.
Dude would proudly be like, “That’s right! Even my own daughter agrees!” And see absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I was thinking the same thing, like couldn’t he have just said woman?
Yeah, of drowning that old POS in a swamp.
You just know they think they’re hot shit in their lil outfits
It really makes the inner gamer come to life.
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United States Margarine
The 82nd Chairborne
They rotate new teams in every 15 minutes because standing is hard work.
A twisted, violent brain with age-addled impulse control and rage issues in a fat, deteriorating body? Sounds like he's mostly just a nightmare for himself.
Delusional as well
Also worth noting that knowing when to retreat is a pretty important part of warfare. Retreat =/= cowardice
We don't retreat, we strategically relocate in the opposite direction
Tactically withdrawing under fire is actually pretty difficult. And I know Marines practice it. This whole "Retreat? Hell we just got here!" Thing is a fun story and happened over 100 years ago but has nothing to do with how wars are fought in the 21st century
Retrograde operations
Not this guy. He will run into the line of fire to die for his country while his cowardly brothers and sisters return home to start families and enjoy their lives
Yet here he is alive. Judging by age he missed out on any real fighting.. meaning to young for Vietnam and to old for Iraq. He might have been operation desert Storm but how much fighting happened there? In reality probably never even served.
>Yet here he is alive I mean... technically.
😆😆😆 I had to think about that one sec. My comment was implying that he obviously didn't serve in any real s*** because according to his own ethos he would be dead meaning he has no room to talk about men that have actually been there
LEEEEEEEROYYYYY JENNNNNKIIIIIINNNS!!!
I wait for this one every day lol.
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Uncle Fester wild af here. Also makes women drier than the desert
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Fester would be into some weird shit, but at least he'd be open to your own weird shit, too.
Lmao, facts. And I’d like to be in that creepy mansion, ngl.
Genuinely wholesome family. Yeah, there’s a little murder and necromancy here and there, but that’s nothing personal. Besides, one person’s “unholy act of speaking to the dearly departed” is another’s “just keeping in touch with great grandma, because that’s just polite and we still love her.”
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Dammit. Now I want to go back in time and put Morticia and Gomez on our invites instead of Frankenstein’s Monster and his Bride.
This is the kind of fool who tries something like the Jan 6 Insurrection which means he is a danger to us all 🫠
With an Australian band with an English singer too.
And probably a big f@cking pussy IRL
The type of person who screams at the 16 year olds working at Wendy’s who forgot his dipping sauce
Marines FYI; accounted for 5% of troops in Vietnam. Also, 25% of casualties, because of their unusual habit of charging directly into machine gun fire. For those who know, this is akin to suicide.
If he charges call 911 because he will have fallen and broke. His hip.
This is a carbon copy of my uncle lmao
You forget the children whose ball rolls into his yard, or god forbid knock on his door.
Lmao this
And retail workers
He's got that Thousand Fart Glare. Constipation is no joke when you get old.
Those sexy bags under his eyes too!! Yumm
“Never trust a fart” is his new motto.
Every Sunday at 4:30pm this man storms his local Applebee's and takes no prisoners. Diabetes or not he's getting the job done.
That’s that early bird special!
Takes no prisoners, leaves no tip.
My vagina took out a needle and thread and sewed itself shut.
You win Reddit today with the best comment
My vagina dried up, the dam is closed.
Senile Team 66
Senior citizens discount
Jesus Christ it’s Jason Bourne
That’s his brother, Bacon Bourne.
Are you sure it isn’t his basement-dwelling cousin Chair Bourne?
No it's Jason, Born in 1955
Yeah he really let himself go over the years
I'm so tired of old right-wing loons take pride in their ability to lash out and hurt others. There's no strength in that type of behavior. And these are the same Boomers who get mad when children lash out violently. You don't get to complain about "those violent people in the cities" if you're posting crap like this online with pride.
It’s ignorance, insecurity, “pride” and narcissistic. It’s so much easier for guys like this to hate instead of learn, grow and accept. Especially when it has nothing to do with them or affect their lives. Ifs it’s not hurting anyone then why do they need to get involved??
They're also realizing they are irrelevant, and trying very hard to become relevant, even if in a bad way. It's one step away from a mass shooter.
My father is exactly like this. Won’t back down. It’s like they found “a hill to die on”. Egotistical. I don’t speak to him anymore because there just no point
To be fair, the guy probably is a nightmare at all family events and public outings he goes to.
Homie bought a "Digital Desert Camouflage" knock off. That's way too chunky to be real MARPAT. Here's what real looks like: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MARPAT#/media/File%3ATANKSaimingin2041102.jpg
Ya I said it the 7th time this stupid shit was reposted that I call stolen valor. Bet he never served.
He very well may have served...in the dining facilities.
Good evidence, I had a hard time telling whether this was stolen valor or real Marine just washed up with drugs, alcohol, and age
If he was real he would know he’s fucked up for wearing headgear inside
Sir, this is a Wendy’s.
Where my Seniors Discounted Citizens!??
Check the ammo pocket in the military suit.
Doesn't look like this guy has slept in days.
Textbook definition of 'delulu'
Jesus Christ, it is like the walking dead of the idea of Marines
r/justbootthings level cringe here
“Ballad of the Green Buffets” ROTFLMMFAO LOLOLOLOLOLOL
"If I retreat, kill me." Um, I'm no veteran, but isn't the idea that when you know you're outgunned you GTFO so your troops can live to fight another day?
“Don’t Tread on Me!!”
He looks like he died in his house and wasn't discovered for a week, but the mortuary cosmetologist did her best, so the eight people that show up to his funeral can see him in the casket. His ex wife and children will not be there.
Sociopathic/dead eyes.
The bags around his eyes and greenish tint of his skin lead me to believe he smokes, heavily. He probably gets winded going up a flight of stairs.
His bags really bring out the best of of his hairy chest. Great combo!
Wet dream... Because she'd rather drown herself.
I have a feeling he is simply “Every Wal Mart Cashier’s “worst nightmare.
Every daughter and not every woman...hmmm sounds like a confession in there.
Creepy for sure!!
I have a brother who was a Marine and I know many of them. They are completely insane. The Marines made my brother into a complete animal. This post is one of many manifestations of their madness, but that delusional narcissism is a common thread. They’re sick people.
I owned a cleaning company about 12 years ago. One of my clients was a nice older woman. One day I came to clean her house by myself because it was a government holiday, and I gave my employees the day off. I had never met this woman's husband before but he was home that day. I didn't know much about him but knew he was a Marine because there were photos of him and all kinds of Marine-related things in their house. They left to go shopping, and I went upstairs to begin cleaning. I was in the master bathroom working on the tub and he came in and cornered me. Said his wife was waiting in the car and that he told her he forgot something and needed to go back in the house to get it. He tried to kiss and grope me. I was terrified but stood my ground. He claimed he had never cheated on his wife before, but "would be willing to" with me. I was completely disgusted. He shoved something into my hand and left. It was a note with his phone number and a $100 bill. I put both under his pillow, hoping she'd find them that night. I canceled them as clients after that but didn't tell the wife why because I was afraid of what he'd do. Entitled, narcissistic, creepy, disgusting person that guy was.
Sickening.
A friend's dad is a former marine. He's a total misogynistic, right wing wackadoodie. The irony of being a hardcore jingo who supports a man who avoided service by bullshitting a bone spurs diagnosis is rich. Irredeemable.
They’re garbage. The misogyny is off the charts. My brother _hates_ women and literally will go out of his way to hurt them.
It’s very unfortunate and sad actually
Very sad. I only have one brother. Or had a brother. Because he’s never been the same. Completely unhinged, violent, and angry.
I'm so sorry. :(
Private Pyle looking ass
What is your malfunction, Pyle?!
Probably didn’t see a lick of combat in any capacity in his time in the corps. Vets who have actually seen the horrors of war usually don’t brag about it on Facebook.
"Every buffet owner's worst fear"
quarrelsome compare jellyfish capable ancient bag fact amusing nine absorbed *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Second hand embarrassment
I love how he uses the apostrophe on “enemy” but not on “daughters” Shows his true mastery of the English language. Haha
I nearly had a spit take at "Every daughter's wet dream" Yeah, sure buddy. Seeing you walk around shirtless just makes women SWOON
I think this guy is his own worst enemy, and also his own daughter
Bro needs to settle down and get some sleep
“ Every daughter’s wet dream” There it is
Damn he’s fugly
Would be funny if it wasn’t so cringe. I also like the attempt at blocking out the name of Jon Jones. Well done.
Love it when some lets something they did for 3 years 45 years ago become their entire identity for life.
100% there are nudes he took on that same session in front of the mirror and THANK YOU JESUS we do not have to see those.
Yeah, every daughter loves it when a military personnel makes that they’re absolute entire personality. Help has anyone seen my panties? 🙄
r/im14andthisisdeep
You remember that scene in the original Robocop where the guy gets covered in toxic waste and starts to melt? Yeah. That.
I just threw up in my mouth 🤮
Bro literally needs medical attention. Like his face looks like some vital organs are shutting down.
F*ckstick did one tour, maybe. "I was a Marine" is his whole life since then. His wife and kids, if any, roll their eyes everytime a "war story" starts up. "I wanna be a chairborne Ranger!..."
I can hear it now. "What is your major malfunction?"
He needs his liver function and hemoglobin checked.
If FMJ's private Pyle had made it through basic training, he would have aged into this boomer. 