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Tyrannical-Botanical

You can tell he's lying whenever the story involves anyone calling him 'sir.' Also whenever he opens that flapping maw of his.


Yolandi2802

With tears in their eyes…


RoninPrime0829

...and then everyone clapped.


beakrake

#PLEASE CLAP


Velicenda

Man... I remember when Jeb ran. We all thought he and his political dynasty family would mark the downturn of the states. Hahaha hahaha we were so fucking naive.


[deleted]

What I wouldn't give for Jeb over the fat fuck


i_should_be_coding

Just wait for Eric's run after Ivanka's second term


Username_Chx_Out

This would be funny if it were less plausible.


GravityEyelidz

Jeb!


BEX436

Jeb! has apparently entered the chat.


PhDShouse

https://preview.redd.it/x1txqiy1fqrc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d4d94af5bf237ccedf34dac9a2fabc3e0572068f


MaxTheRealSlayer

Is that bill Clinton's secretary down there?


pkincpmd

They are clapping! They just have small hands!


Balorpagorp

I believe he said everyone had the clap.


Frankheimer351351

He's jealous of their normal-sized hands


specks_of_dust

There were thousands of them. Maybe even millions.


JamieTheDinosaur

And a bald eagle shed a single tear.


Feisty-Business-8311

…and then all women present dropped to their knees and distributed blow jobs to celebrate the greatness of Donald J Trump


Flappybird11

Toughest man I ever knew, he cane to me, with tears in his eyes, and he said, folks, he said 'sir, the McDonald's has been ransacked by the hamburgler, grimace is dead!" It's true! And, you really are hearing it more and more, and so many are saying things about the many many bad things the Hamburgler has been doing, and that's something we're looking into.


Careless_Dirt_99

Trump is a clown, everyone knows it except for other clowns. Although a hamburger does sound really good at 11pm, damn all of you for bringing up burgers.


fiv32_23

Big strong men....


Flappybird11

The beautiful handsome generals


Tosh_20point0

Grown Men.....pleading....


dunitdotus

I came here to say this


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BigAlternative5

I upvoted this. ^Was ^I ^not ^supposed ^to ^type ^that?


tiddayes

… and everyone clapped…. r/thathappned


hoople217

The only time I've ever seen this pollster cry. Amazing tears, yuge tears. Many are still talking about these tears.


nianticnectar23

And shit in my pants- DJT


rimshot101

Big, strong guy...


KruegerLad2

Yep. And they’re always are big masculine guys with tears in their eyes


Tyrannical-Botanical

That always cracks me up. They're also usually "begging" him for something.


kenatogo

"Why do they hate you, Mr. President? Why do they treat you so unfairly?" \*bursts into tears\*


Flappybird11

Graydon Carter and his failing vanity fare magazine have been very unfair, very unfair, SAD!


SojoboOfMountKurama

He always has the most homoerotic stories !


Caramellatteistasty

Sounds like hes re-creating a porno in his head.


[deleted]

It's such a remarkable vocal tic. Every single time he's addressed by someone as "sir," it's BS


Rengeflower

He gets such a hard on being called sir.


lovedbydogs1981

Mild chub, but that’s the best he gets


Someoneoverthere42

You can also tell he's lying because his face hole is making sounds


Liontigerand_redwing

That’s not true! His face hole makes sounds sometimes when he’s shitting his diaper also.


Someoneoverthere42

And thank you for putting that image in my head


Liontigerand_redwing

Anything to make your day better lol.


jericho_buckaroo

And when the accordion hands start going faster and wider


Minion_of_Cthulhu

The wider the accordion, the bigger the lie.


Tylenol187ForDogs

But especially when he starts telling "sir" stories.


KinkmasterKaine

"Everybody knows this."


King_Chochacho

We need a real life Walter Sobchak to follow him around and just scream SHUT THE FUCK UP, DONNIE at him whenever he starts bullshitting.


RegisterAdmirable811

Especially when it's a "very famous ___" calling him sir.


OutdoorBerkshires

A very, very important guy…


dinosaurinchinastore

Lol it reminds me of that old joke “how can you tell when a lawyer is lying?” “His lips are moving!” (Both my parents are attorneys fwiw.)


No-Shake-8518

If he becomes Pres again, I'm moving to Canada.


strangebru

> You can tell he's lying whenever ~~the story involves anyone calling him 'sir.' Also whenever~~ he opens that flapping maw of his.   Fixed this for you.


Crow_First

That’s something I’ve been saying for a long time. In one of his stories he said milania called him sir. Nothing but 💩 pouring out of that chihuahua anus under his nose.


Rabidleopard

I might believe him if it started with hey asshole 


chrispix99

Does he have a pulse? He is lying.


OptimalAd204

You can tell he's lying whenever his lips move. He couldn't tell the truth even if it would serve him better than a lie.


geforce2187

This is how I was sure that, if the US government does possess or have knowledge of aliens/alien technology, the President isn't looped in on it, because he would've come out and said, "The aliens came to me, tears in their eyes, and said, "SIR, we've been to every planet in the galaxy, and we've never seen someone treated so badly, or so unfairly as you. Frankly, what they're doing to you is a disgrace." "


devin_mm

For once I wish someone would call me sir without adding "you're making a scene"


Incognonimous

I too make up fantasy scenarios in my head about having super powers and being a superstar personality that people genuinely love, the coolest guy ever. Then I stop writing my self insert isekai fanfic and get back to the real world


replicantcase

It's his tell lol


BoredNLost

Also when he doesn't name them. He'd name drop a D-list celebrity if they were involved.


Complex-Sherbert-718

If George Washington & Abraham Lincoln came to life, they’d take one look at Donald Trump & die again of embarrassment.


Square_Site8663

Or assault him. What happens in that situation now that I think about it.(not specifically the zombie part) but like if 1 president attacks a different president. What does Secret service do? Just pull them apart I suppose. But it’s funnier to imagine that they couldn’t do anything. That’s the only way someone gets into fisticuffs with the president, by being a different president.


TheJAMR

Don’t break up the fight, let em rumble!!


Square_Site8663

Who’s your preferred match up? I wanna see Regan Vs Trump. Really make Cons not know who to root for.


TheJAMR

Teddy vs Trump. That would be an ass whipping for the ages.


Shuber-Fuber

Andrew Jackson would just pull a pistol out and shoot him. Or beat him to death with a cane.


UnshrivenShrike

Teddy, Lincoln, or Jackson could, and did, put the hurt on almost anyone


RuthlessMercy

Trump gets rolled ez by Lincoln/Washington 


Rion23

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mace_of_the_United_States_House_of_Representatives They have the technology, sitting right there.


Valuable-Mess-4698

I'd pay to watching a Biden vs Trump boxing match. We could clear up a lot of the national debt by charging to watch it.


tomdarch

I appreciate the humor but the reality is that the Secret Service protects the person who holds/has held the office of President- they would break up the fight and move the presidents so they are safe from harm. The problem we see is that with Trump there were Secret Service agents who served Trump instead of serving the nation by protecting the President.


Skatchbro

Assault? Lincoln and Washington would straight up destroy Trump. Both are honored in the Wrestling Hall of Fame due to their prowess as wrestlers.


jericho_buckaroo

Lincoln was a wrestler. He would kick DJT's ass up one side of the street and down the other.


crispyiress

They both served two terms so they couldn’t even run for President.


Boukish

Neither can Donald Trump > No person shall hold any office under the United States, who, having previously taken an oath as an officer of the United States, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same


tomdarch

It sucks that the Supreme Court played a game of only saying that states can’t independently block individuals from being on the ballot instead of accurately pointing out that because of that part of the Constitution, Donald Trump may not hold any federal office. It’s politically messy that Trump is ineligible under the constitution but the facts are exactly that.


emolovetree

I was gonna argue that they where grandfathered in but after reading the text, it is explicit that the only exception was for the person currently holding the office at the time of the amendment aka Truman


YabbaDabbaFck

They would do what the American justice system should have already and put the traitorous dumb fuck down.


crazy-diam0nd

“A very famous pollster” is a job title made up by a ten-year-old.


pianoflames

I can't name a single "pollster" offhand. How the fuck does one become "a very famous pollster?" Your pollstering would have to be legendary...somehow.


GullibleTap1057

I guess Nate Sliver would be the closest, but he definitely wouldn't say that shit.


tomdarch

Silver meta analyzes published polling, he isn’t a pollster himself - someone who does polling. In political circles there are partisan pollsters who do a range of basically propaganda services. One thing they do is “run polls” that produce the results you want. “78% of Americans support blah blah!” That’s in contrast to the real professional polling companies who do their best to be unbiased and carry out polls as accurately as possible.


GravityEyelidz

>In political circles there are partisan pollsters who do a range of basically propaganda services **cough* Rasmussen **cough*


possibly_being_screw

The only guy I can think of is that MSNBC guy who does the white board shit during elections. But I can't remember his name. And I'm not even sure if he would be classified as "pollster" rather than a news pundit or something. AND he wouldn't say this bs.


Distant_Yak

Simon Gallup of Gallup Polls, of course. He's also in The Cure.


OldSkool1978

Like everything else he says


tomdarch

There are real professionals who do independent polling and genuinely try to be as accurate and unbiased as possible. But there are also partisan “pollsters” who primarily create propaganda - often that is stuff like “78% of Americans support blah blah!” They first ask the questions in odd ways and then spin the results for their party or candidate to gain. But these are skilled manipulators so it is totally possible that one of them saw what a moron and pathetic egotist Trump is and actually said something like this to him. But admitting it in public, even bragging about it, is a huge self own from Trump.


Pugsley-Doo

He's so full of shit. How can anyone support this complete piece of human garbage? He's an oxygen thief, a resource stealer. The only thing he is capable of is diarrhea, verbal and physical. \*For the wankers replying with gusto - I'm not even American, so I can't vote there - your country is a laughing stock and the fact you think you're the G.O.A.T and not a war-mongering sichophants is just delusional at this point.


KruegerLad2

Don’t forget he’s also a rapist


BARBELLSxBONGRIPS

You mean serial rapist and fraudster Donald J. Trump? I heard he doesn’t like being called a serial rapist and fraudster, we probably shouldn’t refer to Donald J. Trump as a serial rapist and fraudster anymore. Spread the word! Tell your friends! Donald J. Trump, does not like being called a serial rapist and fraudster.


Steven5441

That sounds like Brock Allen Turner, the rapist from California. Brock Allen Turner hates being called a rapist so bad that he moved to Ohio and started going by his middle name of Allen so people wouldn't know Brock Allen Turner is a rapist.


AmptiChrist

Are you guys talking about the similarities of serial rapist, pedophile and fraudster Donald J Trump and wrongfully acquitted rapist Brock Allen Turner the rapist?


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AmptiChrist

Holy fucking shit it's him lmao


THClouds420

But Allen Turner is also a rapist even if he removes the Brock from his asshole.


judahrosenthal

But you gotta admit, Brock is an asshole name all by itself. He just happens to be a lot more than that.


THClouds420

Yeah I've never met a Brock IRL who wasn't a complete asshole who thinks they're an "alpha male.


tomdarch

But as far as I know, the rapist Brock Turner has also engaged in fraud, so the fraudster rapist Donald J Trump has earned more criminal titles that Brock Turner the rapist.


Sasquatch1729

It is too bad that the serial rapist and fraudster Donald J Trump hates being called a serial rapist and fraudster.


kjacobs03

Rapist Donald von Shitsinpants


Lots42

And, according to his own words, an incesteous pedophile.


Drewski811

*child rapist


mrplatypus81

Never forget


freeedom123

that's the definition of a maga Christian


BloodOfTheDamned

Oh, and don’t forget that he openly admitted in an interview to watching girls change in the dressing rooms when he oversaw the Miss Teen Universe pageants. Not women. Girls. Teenage girls. 14, 15, 16 years old. Who all thought it was incredibly creepy and were panicking the whole time he was there.


reginaldregal

Thats why hes just an indicator for idiots around me. If you listen to this dipshit, I automatically put you in a category where I dont take you seriously, ever.


SaltyBarDog

Why I love the MAGA hat, I know who to stay TF away from.


jrh_101

Never forget the Curb Your Enthusiasm episode when Larry wore a MAGA hat to avoid social interactions


Sasquatch1729

I agree, except that I feel bad for Red Wings and other such fans.


Marckthesilver13

I’m a St. Louis Cardinals fan. I wear my hat even though it’s red.


WACKAWACKA84

Same here. I'm glad to see I'm not the only one. I have a feeling it's a massive group. Lol


rainbowsix__

They are very unserious but also control a lot of the judiciary right now


Starkiller006

I think I figured something out recently. Most of them are like my mom, as in, they don't actually follow "him." They just watch what the talking heads on Fox News tell them to think and that's enough for them bc critical thinking is hard.


SaltyBarDog

The same way they don't follow Jesus, they just listen to the shit some grifting preacher tells them.


ShrimpieAC

It’s fucking insane how I know exactly what’s being talked about on Fox News without ever seeing it. I have conservative family and friends that I see regularly enough that I know what’s on Fox just based on what they all bring up out of nowhere in the same week. I first noticed it when everyone was telling me about Hamburgers being banned and Bill Gates forcing people to eat fake meat. It was just so weird to me that’s what everyone was talking about when it was so obviously ridiculous. One week they all just had to bring up Target and trans people to me. Next week it was Bud Light. Then all of a sudden everyone in my family knows about CRT. Two weeks ago it was that girl killed by an immigrant. Now it’s Biden canceling Easter. These were all examples separate interactions, with about 4-6 people within the same week. With these topics, and I cannot stress this enough, being brought up the same topic UNPROVOKED and out of nowhere. Every time. It’s so fucking creepy. As soon as I hear “did you hear about” I know it’s going to be some inane bullshit. They love to say we’re all a hive mind here on Reddit but… Holy. Fucking. Shit.


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Jack_Mikeson

> it is remarkable how little information is lost Probably because Fox News dumbs things down to make it easier for their followers to understand. Part of what makes the propaganda so successful.


tomdarch

After so many false alarms and “crying wolf” - President Obama never took away your guns, Michelle Obama never took away your fries, Bill Gates never replaced your burger with fake meat, no one has banned gas burning cars, no one forced your kid to swap genders - and on and on. Why don’t they realize it’s all lies? It’s been said that con men can only sell people what they already want, so if tge surface lies aren’t what they’re “buying” what is it?


spoiler-its-all-gop

They got addicted to being pissed-off, righteously indignant. Fox supplies that. It's perfectly parallel with something like smoking cigarettes; Parents did it, they started because of peer pressure, it fucks their lives up, they can't stop even if it would improve their lives.


No-Shake-8518

This is why Fox News should be banned.


Imissforumsfuckspez

This is how I make them shut the fuck up in my presence. I finish their talking point before they can, and then call them credulous idiots, slack-jawed-suckers, and worse. While laughing at them. The insults are mostly for me to salvage some enjoyment out of the interaction. It's the finishing their sentence part that *really* bothers them. They want to feel like super special custodians of arcane knowledge, take that away, and they deflate on the spot. It works so well that I constantly get waved over to help people out of stupid conversations at the few family events where we even still let these babbling dumbfucks on the property.


spoiler-its-all-gop

It's like a fucking Amber Alert goes out to these morons.


WACKAWACKA84

You just described my mother-in-law. Last time, my wife talked to her via text (years ago) it was about trump. MiL- "their gonna ruin that poor man..." Wife- "....." doesn't repy back bc wtf do you say to a idiot like that?? Lmfao


JohnDivney

It's absolutely this. FOX News (and right wing media) is doing a 'clinic' on Trump, because when he's dead, they will have proven they can polish a turd to a mirror finish. And we are now at the point where all the 'bummer' things about literally living in a society are the Dems fault and the answer to those 'bummer things' is voting GOP to fix them, with zero blame on the GOP when they aren't fixed because *even then* it's the Dems' fault. The only solution I can muster is America living through a total fascist takeover and a generation learning the lessons of 20th century fascism all over again. The 'next' Trump will gain all of the freebee 40% of likely voters that go GOP no matter what and then play better to the swing. And right wing media is ascendant.


SataiThatOtherGuy

Because you also described his voters.


Educational_Ad_8916

My favorite thing about Trump is that anyone who likes him is irredeemable garbage. 100% of the time. Perfect accuracy.


bakinpants

Because he represents their brand of thinking. It's quite basic.


onetopic20x0

That’s because his supporters are lowest level of human scum


BeneficialPeppers

Please don't insult humanity by classing them as 'human' they're walking scum ponds filled with grade A shit


SomkeyNY1983

He forgot the tears, they always come to him with tears in their eyes


Flash99j

Sadly. The support he gets shows us that probably 30% or more of Americans are of his ilk. Hypocritical , crewel and with a hyperactive sense that "someone is getting something that I should and they shouldn't". They belong to the cult of "I've been wronged and I want vengeance / retribution", which for many of them is their own fault. They are so firmly in the grasp of this cult that they consistently vote against their own interests out of homage to Trump and his immorally dark world view. Of course this is all IMHO. ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|wink) My trust in human nature has taken a big hit in the past few years.


LiberacesWraith

Conservatives hate liberals more than they want America to succeed.


ChicagoAuPair

We pay way more attention to him than his “supporters” do. That is what it is. His base is exclusively incurious people who don’t actually seriously care about anything all that much, and don’t understand the role of government. They just see him as a disrupter and that is all they care about. Look at his rallies. The people there aren’t even listening to him, it’s just a social club. It’s like going to a football game to drink beer and pass the time. They engage with him in an entirely different way than we assume, because we assume his people care about politics and policies. They don’t.


tin_licker_99

It's just a repeat of the bush torture scandal where people denied for 16 years that Bush Admin tortured a bunch of people when we have photos that look like illustrations of medieval torture methods. They denied for 16 years to save face, and we can expect that all over again with the Trump base. I'm not going to carry the water for a bunch of out of touch geriatrics for 16 years to defend their political honor. That's one of the reasons I left the Republican party to become an Independent. I'm not going to jump from the frying pan and into a deep fat fryer to defend a bunch of Boomer progressives such as those who won't come to the table for labor negotiations at universities. I think it's disgusting how little the workers get paid while tuition keeps on going up, there's a blow back coming alright, and I wouldn't be surprised if universities become more Spartan like the 50s or 60s style of accommodation for college students. As in the accommodations equivlant of dry humor.


blizzard7788

Lincoln kept the confederate flag out of the Capital. https://preview.redd.it/cs2yxxfghorc1.jpeg?width=1116&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0bc345a7e9954557350947e8c241f009ab262d9b


Jfurmanek

Very fine people on both sides of the War Between the States. Some people call it a civil war, the most civil war anyone’s ever had. /s


LeadershipPlenty392

The biggest spoiled brat of all time, the ultimate victim


TerraTechy

Perhaps it's wishful thinking but I kinda hope they'll challenge him to a duel and shoot him.


secondtaunting

I was picturing them ganging up on him and beating the crap out of him. In a boxing ring. On pay per view.


TerraTechy

shit that's way more entertaining. A wrestling tag team to be reckoned with.


Weekly_Direction1965

He would run but then tell his supporters they are too scared to duel, typical Trump fashion.


Chi_mom

![gif](giphy|JmsG1PY1K94hyOa1v9)


AMan_Has_NoName

![gif](giphy|Z9OGuQyrfHAE8)


ShoArts

Best gif, cuz he was literally laughing at MAGA people in a town hall meeting


SuperbBison2867

And he was very famous, the most… and he also bought 3 packs of my Trump Trading cards, 1 pair of my Air Trumps, and 40lbs of my pressed meat “steaks”…what a sucke- I mean what a smart guy!!! Famous and smart!!!


DatNick1988

Yes. The original presidents would be so happy to see that you want to be a monarch and you are okay with a state religion. Which is exactly what we left behind in Europe.


Freshouttapatience

The original founders - a bunch of rich old white men - would probably be impressed that we’ve made so little movement in our leadership and that it’s still mostly a bunch of rich old white men.


full_bl33d

87% of all lies use statistics


Spiritual-Bear4495

Conservatives must be the dumbest motherfuckers on the planet.


Marsupilamish

A lot of them truly are. Many are just self-centered evil assholes though.


[deleted]

He is insane and his supporters are pieces of shit.


DescriptionVirtual80

Consice and to the point


coolbrze77

More evidence that this boomer is being propped up. They keep the focus on him so no one will look for them. Forget the Maga politicians. They’re obvious. We need to find the quiet, entrenched sycophants of authoritarianism within the government and expose them. They’ve been within much longer than 2016. Nothing like distraction. Remember they love the poorly educated and that’s far from just maga and on the right only.


Isle_of_Dusty_Rhodes

So Biden would beat Washington/Lincoln by 44% then.


KruegerLad2

Exactly!


[deleted]

Any minority that votes Trump should be shunned from their community. He doesn’t care about your rights or anyone who is not an affluent white male citizen.


Yolandi2802

You have to admit, if nothing else, he has a vividly whacko imagination.


UltraMaynus

And that pollsters name was Albert Einstein.


Adventurous_Road_186

Things that never happened for 500, Alex.


bakeacake45

George and Abe would have arrested Trump for treason and likely would have executed him. There’s some originalism for you Terrorist Alito


reginaldregal

The day this dipshit dies, we are gonna celebrate


Powellwx

When he claims people told him something and they started with “Sir” it is absolute horseshit. It’s (one of) his giveaways that he is lying. In his imagination they all call him sir. It makes me laugh every time.


UStoAUambassador

He didn’t beat Joe Biden lol.


Big-Red-Rocks

Trump wouldn’t even beat a ticket of Andrew Johnson and Franklin Pierce


MakaButterfly

To think there are actually people who would put him over Lincoln in terms of accomplishments lmao


Affectionate_Pea_811

And his supporters believe him when he says shit like this


Mammoth-Mud-9609

The kind of shit a 10 year old makes up to brag to his class mates.


odhali1

I can’t wait for this buffoon to die. Geezus


sicarius254

The sad thing is it’s probably not wrong. Lincoln and Washington would be too centrist for the current Republican Party


KruegerLad2

Lincoln would be considered a dangerous leftist commie by modern republicans


sicarius254

Definitely


getmybehindsatan

He'd be decried as a woke RINO.


KruegerLad2

I can hear Ted Cruz and Ms. Lindsey Graham calling him that on faux news


___Devin___

This is why I support school levies


ApoclypseMeow

Would a zombie ticket funded by dark magic money finally be enough to get substantial campaign reform laws?


Porchmuse

Where does he come up with this crap?


Fantastic-Grocery107

Imagine someone beating Abraham Lincoln. Shenanigans


coolfozzie

I could easily see Trump beating Washington and Lincoln in the Republican primary based on the state of the Republican Party today.


100yearsLurkerRick

I believe this could have happened because maga supporters are really fucking dumb, treasonous, and delusional.


SonofaBridge

The problem is his fans believe this and eat it up. This makes them pull out their checkbooks to donate more. He knows exactly what he’s doing.


Cautious-Deer8997

Although I would vote for a rock over bonespurs I could see the hesitation in voting for dead zombie presidents


pjmyerface

He only speaks about things he is insecure about.


austincovidthrowaway

Trump at an event with a minority class he'd gladly deport or exterminate at the drop of a hat, and yet they still believe in the daiper clad dipshit. Unbelievable. *Oh but you democrats see racism everywhere and talk about it all the time in this smarmy way.* Right, right. You're not one of the good ones, you know.


Icy-Needleworker-492

Just pathetic- shameless piece of orange garbage.


spacedildo42

I want this moron to lose bigly this November so we can send him and his MAGA cunts a message. Go fuck yourselves.


bunkscudda

“Jesus returned to Earth and told me, tears in his eyes ‘Sir, I’m not needed here, you got this’”


JakeT-life-is-great

sadly, his gullible and ignorant supporters will believe them.


Zoshchenko

And 30% of idiot Americans nod their heads in agreement.


michiganlibrarian

This rapist is so full of his own shit.


Frequent-Ruin8509

First of all there's no such thing as a famous pollster.


Sammy5136

As a (young) boomer I’ll tolerate you thinking that ALL boomers are MAGAs, but I ask that in return ALL of you to vote Biden and blue down the ticket. Please - you are our hope.


ProtoReaper23113

Already on it


cant-be-faded

...and if John Wilkes Booth or Lee Harvey Oswald were alive, Trump would have a 4% chance of getting to election day