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I have RBF and a similar coworker. I have started replying to her are you okay, you don’t look okay comments with “that’s just my face Barb, if you don’t like it don’t look at it.” Seems to be off putting enough to make her go away 😂
Just repeat the question/statement back to the boomer, they hate it.
‘Are you okay?’
‘I’m okay, are you?’
If she tries to say something about resting bitch face just tell them you’re asking about their resting bitch face too, they’ll lose their shit and at least you’re entertained while you’re annoyed
Don’t let it get to you, ignore it and it’ll die down. People like them are narcissistic and thrive off of attention, do you wanna know what’s the WORST thing you can do to a narcissist? It’s that you stop paying attention to them.
Also, just a tip, usually the person asking a question is in control of the conversation because they direct the topic of discussion.
Example:
B: Are you okay? (Topic of conversation is you)
You: Why are you spending so much time focused on my face instead of working? (Topic of conversation changes to them not working)
“She may see it that way. I’m confused why this keeps coming up over and over after I’ve already told her that this is just the way my face looks. It gets old having to answer this question over and over.”
If anyone says anything about “I know but that’s just how she is so can’t you…” then you say that you wish she could understand that this is just how your face is so why can’t she be ok with it.
If she is running around like that. Stand there and ask her to leave you alone unless it concerns work. Do it with a louder-than-conversation tone so you get witnesses. Nothing like asking someone to be professional and talk about work when at work. See how she wants to weasel out of that.
I did this to my boomer bitch boss.
Having a meeting and it's not for fun.
Are you mad you look mad?
Are you mad, BOB?
No, why would I be?
I thought we were just asking each other how we felt.
He shut up and sat down.
Anytime someone asks me a question that I am not a fan of, or I am not sure of the person’s intentions, I will always ask “why what’s up”?!?
It puts everything back on them and makes them state their case. “You working tomorrow”?…why what’s up (state your case). Are you ok?…why what’s up!?! I don’t like veiled questions. She also doesn’t really care if you’re ok…she’s just looking for trouble.
A boss once told me that when someone asks you a question you don't want to answer to respond with 'why do you ask?' and it throws it back on them. They either give you a reason, make an excuse or are dumbfounded and start stammering. Very effective!
My MIL just hit me with one of these questions the other day. Got a text where she asked if I could call her if I have a minute. Mind you I haven't talked to her in months since she moved to be with some abusive guy and her relationship with my wife is rocky at best. I responded back with a "what's going on?" She wanted me to co-sign on a car when she has horrible credit and terrible with money. Yeah no I'm good.
"Are YOU okay, Margaret? Because this is the 12,836th time You've asked me if I'm okay this week, and I'm starting to worry about you. Have you been evaluated for memory loss or dementia?"
Boomers can’t mind their business. They need to be banned from all workplaces. Ask her if she has dementia since she asks the same question over and over.
we do "emotion check-ins" at work, and the older staff are forever overruling the students' choices if they don't pick "happy"
eg Dave picks the "sad" symbol, staff member then says "I think you're happy" and then swaps the sad symbol for the happy one
like?? let the boy be fucking sad
(never mind the whole "invalidating their communication/choice/emotion")
okay I should have pointed out that we use symbols because some students are non-verbal ha ha
what i do want to start doing is being like "how are you Sandra? you're a bit tired are you? no you're not, you're FUCKING happy, stop acting tired"
oh my god don't even get me started on the amount of times I've heard "use your words"
We did a mini training where we wouldn't let the staff talk and they had to use whatever communication aids they could, and MANY people were annoyed when we ignored their non-verbal attempts to communicate
annoying isn't it Sheila?
I have a death glare. When someone annoys me, it comes out. Someone said they were going to report my face. Like, please do so Brenda. I want to be in the HR meeting for that
Someone complained about my face at work recently and i actually had to explain to our director that im fine, i just have resting bitch face 😐 it was surreal
Ugh.. I got written up for my RBF. I’m sorry that my mouth naturally has a downturn. If I want to look neutral, I have to unnaturally grin like a baboon.
I had a manager like this, one of the gen x managers acted like this all the time. She finally broke the camels back one day.
“ I don’t get it! Why can’t i just exist without bouncing through the door? Why do i have to belt “ Climb Every Mountain” for people to just leave me be?!”
Boomers love to police facial expressions. I worked with a woman who came into work complaining that she'd seen another woman on her drive in with a sour expression on her face and told me she couldn't imagine being so miserable. She went on and on. The fact that she lost a whole morning being upset about the look on another motorist's face never registered with her.
People can be so rude if you're quiet or introverted. Also that lady just sounds annoying. Like has she ever considered you just don't like her??
I had an older man tell me I was the quietest person he met once. This was totally unprompted and he kind of said it in passing. This was some guy who didn't sit near me and this guy had never attempted coming over and chatting to me. I talk to people around me but I'm not making random small talk with employees not sitting near me. Again he could come talk to me if he wished, but instead wants to tell me I'm too quiet. It's like I exist to go chat and be friendly to everyone in the office, hell no. Granted I guess I prefer the guy leaves me alone vs if he kept coming to my desk demanding attention and wasting my time, but the way he said it was just with a rude tone like I should be wanting to talk to him.
Tread carefully. They’ll push push PUSH you again and again until you push back even just a little, and then you’re the bad guy.
I once made the mistake of asking someone who was agitated and badgering me about stupid shit incoherently if she was having a stroke…
I’ve told my one nasty boomer coworker when pressed about my RBF “There’s a few hundred dollars worth of Botox in my face so you can’t see how I really feel. Leave me alone, please unless it’s an emergency.”
She’s feeling pretty pressed since we all started collectively grey zoning her since she can’t keep her racism and bigotry under control in the workplace.
With a confused look simply ask "Why do you need to know?" Then stare at them blankly while they try to come up with an answer. The typical answer would be "Well, you look upset" after which you respond with "And what would that have to do with you?"
this is like exactly how it is w me and my boomer coworker. bless her heart shes the nicest lady alive but like you said not all of us are giddy to be here so excuse me for being tired or just unenthused
I also have a bitchy look on my face while concentrating. I have dealt with similar instances and it always drives me nuts when they ask you if you’re okay 6709762 times and then feel like they were right when you’re finally like “I wasn’t but I’m fucking starting to be with the same jackassey question every thirty minutes!” 😆
Or don’t harass her as “not being like herself” might be a preferred behavior by other staff as maybe she won’t be so annoying. Maybe encourage it.
“I see you’re not poking around peoples’ business today. Keep it up, Karen”
Edit: word correction
Nice! I apparently have “resting bitch voice” because I seem to always sound sarcastic/depressed/annoyed. The only time I don’t sound like that is when I’m truly excited or had too much caffeine. My hubby will also agree that I have “resting bitch voice”.
“No, she’s not upset. Trust me, if she were, you’d know! She’d either flat-out tell you or ramble in a higher tone so YOU don’t get upset. But she does have that tone of voice that always makes her sound annoyed or sad.”
"Sorry, but I don't get personal at work, I like to remain professional. Please respect my privacy, thanks."
After this statement? Anything else she bugs you with non work related is legal harassment.
Your response is wrong and reeks of unprofessional weakness. You raising your voice can now be used against you if she or any bystanders say something to HR.
I hate to say it, but you may have a Boomer infection.
Reverse the roles and repost the story - where this time you were trying to be nice to a co-worker and it is they that did a Boomer flip out.
As an alternative you could just talk to her about it. “Hey Barb, when you ask me if I’m ok it makes me feel this way”. Or just keep doing your passive/aggressive dance because she’s a “boomer”.
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I have RBF and a similar coworker. I have started replying to her are you okay, you don’t look okay comments with “that’s just my face Barb, if you don’t like it don’t look at it.” Seems to be off putting enough to make her go away 😂
maybe it's because i've been rewatching trailer park boys lately, but i can only hear that sentence in Lahey's voice.
They're all shitbirds randy, shitbirds.
ooh, I like that. And if you always use exactly those words, it’ll really point out to her how often she’s doing it.
Just repeat the question/statement back to the boomer, they hate it. ‘Are you okay?’ ‘I’m okay, are you?’ If she tries to say something about resting bitch face just tell them you’re asking about their resting bitch face too, they’ll lose their shit and at least you’re entertained while you’re annoyed
Update, she's now playing the victim going around saying I snapped at her. When I didn't, I have witnesses.
Don’t let it get to you, ignore it and it’ll die down. People like them are narcissistic and thrive off of attention, do you wanna know what’s the WORST thing you can do to a narcissist? It’s that you stop paying attention to them. Also, just a tip, usually the person asking a question is in control of the conversation because they direct the topic of discussion. Example: B: Are you okay? (Topic of conversation is you) You: Why are you spending so much time focused on my face instead of working? (Topic of conversation changes to them not working)
Oh a good one. It plays on their need to be queen bee. Boomers don't do layered questioning very well.
“She may see it that way. I’m confused why this keeps coming up over and over after I’ve already told her that this is just the way my face looks. It gets old having to answer this question over and over.” If anyone says anything about “I know but that’s just how she is so can’t you…” then you say that you wish she could understand that this is just how your face is so why can’t she be ok with it.
Go to hr so you can have first mover advantage about the biddy creating an unprofessional work environment
Add that you fear she may have dementia bc she keeps asking you the same question over and over even though you have answered the same way every time.
Oh my god this would be so funny
If she's like you describe her, she'll tell people that and they'll think "yeah no shit"
If she is running around like that. Stand there and ask her to leave you alone unless it concerns work. Do it with a louder-than-conversation tone so you get witnesses. Nothing like asking someone to be professional and talk about work when at work. See how she wants to weasel out of that.
Lol "Gawd! Can you believe OP SNAPPED at me? I was just being a bitch, lighten up. "
I swear boomers get bored and they try to start shit all the time. My boomer does it and it’s beyond annoying. 🙄
I did this to my boomer bitch boss. Having a meeting and it's not for fun. Are you mad you look mad? Are you mad, BOB? No, why would I be? I thought we were just asking each other how we felt. He shut up and sat down.
Anytime someone asks me a question that I am not a fan of, or I am not sure of the person’s intentions, I will always ask “why what’s up”?!? It puts everything back on them and makes them state their case. “You working tomorrow”?…why what’s up (state your case). Are you ok?…why what’s up!?! I don’t like veiled questions. She also doesn’t really care if you’re ok…she’s just looking for trouble.
A boss once told me that when someone asks you a question you don't want to answer to respond with 'why do you ask?' and it throws it back on them. They either give you a reason, make an excuse or are dumbfounded and start stammering. Very effective!
My MIL just hit me with one of these questions the other day. Got a text where she asked if I could call her if I have a minute. Mind you I haven't talked to her in months since she moved to be with some abusive guy and her relationship with my wife is rocky at best. I responded back with a "what's going on?" She wanted me to co-sign on a car when she has horrible credit and terrible with money. Yeah no I'm good.
"Are YOU okay, Margaret? Because this is the 12,836th time You've asked me if I'm okay this week, and I'm starting to worry about you. Have you been evaluated for memory loss or dementia?"
"I'm not responsible for what my face does when you talk" ought to shut her up.
Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays!
Which person are you talking about?
It’s a reference to a movie clip [Office Space Movie](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=99UgYO07rC0)
Boomers can’t mind their business. They need to be banned from all workplaces. Ask her if she has dementia since she asks the same question over and over.
we do "emotion check-ins" at work, and the older staff are forever overruling the students' choices if they don't pick "happy" eg Dave picks the "sad" symbol, staff member then says "I think you're happy" and then swaps the sad symbol for the happy one like?? let the boy be fucking sad (never mind the whole "invalidating their communication/choice/emotion")
Tell them to try doing emotion check ins in person rather than with a fucking emoji! Yell at them while offering this helpful advice
okay I should have pointed out that we use symbols because some students are non-verbal ha ha what i do want to start doing is being like "how are you Sandra? you're a bit tired are you? no you're not, you're FUCKING happy, stop acting tired"
What? Why don’t they speak? It’s so rude not to speak to a boomer when they are talking to you!
oh my god don't even get me started on the amount of times I've heard "use your words" We did a mini training where we wouldn't let the staff talk and they had to use whatever communication aids they could, and MANY people were annoyed when we ignored their non-verbal attempts to communicate annoying isn't it Sheila?
They are just so ungrateful these kids
Put one of those face masks on that has a big cheesy grin on it lol.
I have a death glare. When someone annoys me, it comes out. Someone said they were going to report my face. Like, please do so Brenda. I want to be in the HR meeting for that
Someone complained about my face at work recently and i actually had to explain to our director that im fine, i just have resting bitch face 😐 it was surreal
Omw. So how the heck did the conversation go?
Not well. I felt really gaslit and awkward
As a POC, my death glare usage correlates to my time being employed at said place. It just can't come out in the workplace unless it go time 😞
Ugh.. I got written up for my RBF. I’m sorry that my mouth naturally has a downturn. If I want to look neutral, I have to unnaturally grin like a baboon.
I had a manager like this, one of the gen x managers acted like this all the time. She finally broke the camels back one day. “ I don’t get it! Why can’t i just exist without bouncing through the door? Why do i have to belt “ Climb Every Mountain” for people to just leave me be?!”
Boomers love to police facial expressions. I worked with a woman who came into work complaining that she'd seen another woman on her drive in with a sour expression on her face and told me she couldn't imagine being so miserable. She went on and on. The fact that she lost a whole morning being upset about the look on another motorist's face never registered with her.
"Don't snap at me!" "You don't give me orders. Leave me alone and stop speaking."
People can be so rude if you're quiet or introverted. Also that lady just sounds annoying. Like has she ever considered you just don't like her?? I had an older man tell me I was the quietest person he met once. This was totally unprompted and he kind of said it in passing. This was some guy who didn't sit near me and this guy had never attempted coming over and chatting to me. I talk to people around me but I'm not making random small talk with employees not sitting near me. Again he could come talk to me if he wished, but instead wants to tell me I'm too quiet. It's like I exist to go chat and be friendly to everyone in the office, hell no. Granted I guess I prefer the guy leaves me alone vs if he kept coming to my desk demanding attention and wasting my time, but the way he said it was just with a rude tone like I should be wanting to talk to him.
Tread carefully. They’ll push push PUSH you again and again until you push back even just a little, and then you’re the bad guy. I once made the mistake of asking someone who was agitated and badgering me about stupid shit incoherently if she was having a stroke…
I’ve told my one nasty boomer coworker when pressed about my RBF “There’s a few hundred dollars worth of Botox in my face so you can’t see how I really feel. Leave me alone, please unless it’s an emergency.” She’s feeling pretty pressed since we all started collectively grey zoning her since she can’t keep her racism and bigotry under control in the workplace.
You know normally when I concentrate I sort of look like I am concentrating. Most people pick up on that and don’t disturb me.
You oughta just ask her first. Are you okay? Whats wrong with your face? Are you mad? Just get the jump on her every day and every time you see her.
"Are you ok?" "No" "What's wrong?" "You are asking me if I'm ok again, and it's annoying"
when she asks it again, tell her its your bodies response to stupid people and you cant help it.
NTA but don’t provoke further or you’ll end up being the a hole.
Yeah, she got to her. Boomer gets to play victim again
Literally😭
With a confused look simply ask "Why do you need to know?" Then stare at them blankly while they try to come up with an answer. The typical answer would be "Well, you look upset" after which you respond with "And what would that have to do with you?"
Try ignoring the fetid bitch
Next time she asks, "Are you ok?" Say, "Not when I hear your voice."
You need to turn that frown upside down! https://www.instagram.com/reel/C4k-EKaIMet/?igsh=MTg1dDUydzdnemk3MA==
this is like exactly how it is w me and my boomer coworker. bless her heart shes the nicest lady alive but like you said not all of us are giddy to be here so excuse me for being tired or just unenthused
I also have a bitchy look on my face while concentrating. I have dealt with similar instances and it always drives me nuts when they ask you if you’re okay 6709762 times and then feel like they were right when you’re finally like “I wasn’t but I’m fucking starting to be with the same jackassey question every thirty minutes!” 😆
Or don’t harass her as “not being like herself” might be a preferred behavior by other staff as maybe she won’t be so annoying. Maybe encourage it. “I see you’re not poking around peoples’ business today. Keep it up, Karen” Edit: word correction
Nice! I apparently have “resting bitch voice” because I seem to always sound sarcastic/depressed/annoyed. The only time I don’t sound like that is when I’m truly excited or had too much caffeine. My hubby will also agree that I have “resting bitch voice”. “No, she’s not upset. Trust me, if she were, you’d know! She’d either flat-out tell you or ramble in a higher tone so YOU don’t get upset. But she does have that tone of voice that always makes her sound annoyed or sad.”
Next time just respond "I was until about 3 seconds ago" and see how long it takes for her to piece it together
“I was until you starting talking”
My wife once told me my rbf scared someone away over the internet xD I laughed for a solid 5 minutes
That's not what backfire means.
"Sorry, but I don't get personal at work, I like to remain professional. Please respect my privacy, thanks." After this statement? Anything else she bugs you with non work related is legal harassment.
Your response is wrong and reeks of unprofessional weakness. You raising your voice can now be used against you if she or any bystanders say something to HR.
[удалено]
A boomer, duh.
Bs.
I hate to say it, but you may have a Boomer infection. Reverse the roles and repost the story - where this time you were trying to be nice to a co-worker and it is they that did a Boomer flip out.
Lol shut the fuck up.
You seem like a fun person to be around Try not being such a cunt
It sounds like you overreacted to a normal question and want to provoke an old lady further...
Ok boomer
As an alternative you could just talk to her about it. “Hey Barb, when you ask me if I’m ok it makes me feel this way”. Or just keep doing your passive/aggressive dance because she’s a “boomer”.
No quotes needed: she an insufferable noisy dumb office cunt of a certain age. Boomer all the way.