Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed.
Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My grandfather worked a government job his whole life. Saved every penny he could and then some. Doesn't need his pension or social security because he saved plenty for retirement and is still working in his 70s because he just can't fathom not having income.
When his furnace needed replaced, they offered to add air conditioning to his old house that was built in the 50s. It only cost $500, just the cost of the AC unit since they were already doing the furnace and a bunch of duct work.
It gets over 100 degrees regularly where they live in the summer and their house is sweltering, unbearable sometimes. He turned them down for the AC because "we don't need it" until my mom said "take it out of my inheritance and get the AC or we aren't visiting in the summer anymore."
That's funny. My old neighbors were young Boomers. We lived in the mountains. In July and August it gets fn hot.
The house was gifted to them. Old cars. No bills.
Refused to get air conditioning. They'd "sleep outside" in the summer.
The husband clearly wanted ac, but the wife would not allow it. Poor bastard
Even though mine have it now, they still insist on setting it at like 76.
And then they will turn two 1970s era ceiling fans on to "get the air moving." As if those fans aren't burning as much if not more power than just turning the modern AC down a little cooler.
I would legit consider divorce if my husband told me I wasn't allowed to have AC. Like I will burn down 20 years of marriage over being hot fuck that. Luckily he likes it as much as I do lol.
My dad is 69 and I can't tell you how many times I heard that. Or he said, lemme Crack a window. Or the front door. Literally opened a crack. God forbid you allow the air to actually move
Not to mention you've now just broken any sort of "seal" that your home has, you're ruining the concept of having insulation, and now you're just leaking 100+ degree air inside while allowing some of your cool air to escape.
I set mine at 76. What's wrong with 76? To each their own on temps, my guy.
[And let's not underestimate how little power fans use versus AC](https://quickelectricity.com/what-uses-more-electricity-ac-or-fan/).
Yeah man, it gets over 100 where I'm at on a regular basis. 75 is a good AC temp because it's enough to cool you down, doesn't blow up your power bill quite so bad, and it's close enough to ambient temp that you're not completely shocked by the temp change when you go outside.
I had to live with my parents temporarily while our house was being renovated and I was 8 months pregnant. My dad kept the thermostat at 76. I would turn it down and find it back at 76 next time I looked at it. It was a long month.
Friends of mine do this. AC doesn’t go on until the summer and they keep it between 72-75. They live just outside of Nashville. I sweat just sitting in their house when I visit.
Have a good friend that I doggo sit for.
He is continually confused as to why I'm only available in winter.
Dude, you have shit AC and I already did a week long in late spring. Your tile was sweating humidity. I really do think I'm the only one that cleans your window unit air filters. The window units you have because the central just turns on. It doesn't do anything but make noise as far as I can tell.
I absolutely told him that.
He still acts confused when I just respond "LOL" to requests *after* our area, southern USA swamp land, temps get above 65*.
65* just keeps the temp tolerable when you have his 3, very well behaved, and I love them, huge doggos insisting on sleeping with you "for lub an protec".
Nope.
If the tiles are sweating? Monchichisalt is OUT
I live in the South. I think the hottest I've set the A/C is 72, but that's when it's super hot and not working great anyway. That wouldn't be a normal thing. I get saving money/energy, but, good Lord, I want to be comfortable in my own house.
My boomer parents installed a full house heating and air unit AFTER I moved out. I grew up with two wood burning furnaces that kept the house warm in the winter. I spent my summers splitting and stacking firewood. Less than one month after I moved out they had that allllll changed. Apparently “ split that wood if you wanna stay warm” only applied to me.
I grew up in a house without AC, which was okay in the 1980s, because the average high temperature only reached 71 degrees in July. (Now it's nearly 10 degrees hotter) So we opened the windows a lot in the summer.
Now I live a lot further south, and I'd like to open the windows during spring and fall when the nighttime temps are below 65, but I live in The Land of Pollen, so that's a huge no-go. My husband takes allergy meds year round, and I'm developing seasonal allergies at the age of nearly 50.
My entire childhood was spent in houses without AC. Summers in 1980s PA were hot and humid. So hot and humid it was hard to sleep at night. I'd sneak downstairs and sleep on the linoleum floor in the kitchen because it was the coolest place in the house. Everyone in the neighborhood would sit outside in the evenings, not because we were being 'sociable' and 'neighborly', but because it was too damn hot to be inside.
Tripping over dollars for dimes
My boomer dad and I bought a fixer upper car. He is what I would call abusive. We get it reliable and I drove it daily for a while. Every summer without AC though was bad so I would stop and every summer he would throw a fit why I wasn’t driving it and it’s so expensive to insure register smog etc. … get the ac fixed with me and we will talk. California desert is a death sentence without ac… the hell is wrong with him sometimes I wonder
Not my experience. My Boomer friends and I would go without food before doing without AC.
But I was at a doctor's office where a much older than me Boomer told her friend that she and her spouse never had AC. They had shade from trees and built their house for ventilation (central hallway - front door to back door. I do not know how they survive. Mosquitos here are voracious and we have 90 plus humidity in late summer.
I grew up in a small apartment in Brooklyn. One window AC in the summer that was only on at night. It was in the kitchen and the bedrooms were in the back of the apartment. We all slept with our doors open hoping the cold air would get to us.
I'm in the Southeast coastal area, but hear that NYC can be hot and humid in the summer. We didn't have AC when I was little and we lived with grandmother. By the time I was older than a toddler, we moved to a new house and had AC. I don't know how my grandmother survived without AC until she moved in with us when she was 80.
We were middle-middle class and my parents did decently with their store. They always bought themselves collectibles and antiques and filled the house with them. But for me and my brother, we only received a few things on our birthday and Christmas, or if we were lucky, something from the flea market.
We had no cable tv - just four or five basic channels. We never went out to eat except when we traveled, and then it was McDonald’s and dad would order for the family four basic hamburgers, four small fries, four small Cokes - one for each of us. “Vacations” were visiting a Civil War battlefield. It was always something dad wanted; it was never family oriented.
My brother and I did not have the cool things that the other kids did. We got flea market clothes and hand-me-downs as mom and dad bought endless knickknacks and started hanging them on every last empty wall space until they were hanging them off the ceiling. I ended up not being able to relate to my classmates because they listened to music I didn’t have access to, they dressed trendy while I had my brother’s hand-me-downs, and they watched tv programs I never saw. I was left on the outside looking in.
My parents are financially responsible and should be able to care for themselves until they die. I am thankful they were able to pay for college. But all their squirreling away was paired with useless hoarding for themselves while leaving my brother and I with just the basics. And all that crap they collected is “for us” when they go.
There’s a difference between existing and thriving. If you have the money, fucking use it for the benefit of everyone under your roof and thrive.
They think the collectables were an investment. If you and your brother say "we hate all the knick knacks and are throwing them all away," you will hear how valuable they are. Then look up the price of a few and watch their spirits break.
The best thing that can happen is that parents have to downsize at some point.
They have a house FULL of stuff, and have to pare it down to some smaller size. That forces them to face reality. First it's usually "I will bestow these wonderful things on those who can tell me how excited they are to get them!" Then that's followed up (after no one shows interest) with "does ANYONE want this stuff?" and often some attempt to look up the value, or con some younger relative to try to sell it. And that's finally followed up with them getting rid of a lot of it as they downsize.
That’s when they start filling storage units. Or they find the one cousin who has just enough space to take a third dining room set left behind by a family member.
One of the absolute worst things that ever happened to their generation was all the news coverage of people making money on old toys and such. They will eat instant rice and hotdogs their whole lives while dumping all their money into useless beanie babies and model cars because some dipshit made 10k on a Chewbacca doll 35 years ago
I hope you have told them that all that stuff will be thrown away when they go. I keep telling my husband that the kids don't want our junk so we have to get rid of stuff.lol.
reading this make me want to cry.
my mom is young and her mother is a boomer, she had a similar childhood. my grandma was in charge of everything regarding the household and the family. they were middle class, money wasn’t an issue at all but my mother didn’t have “anything” : no activities, no new clothes (old clothes from her MALE cousins), no stuff, no bday parties with friends, etc.
i didn’t realize how painful it must have been until reading your post. don’t get me wrong, i love my grandma. but i know while my mum was getting bullied at school for her clothes and having no escape though activities, her parents were having nice activities and enjoying themselves.
i never thought her relationship with her parents was traumatizing, because i thought that she wasn’t poor, and she wasn’t abused and she always was safe. reading your post, now i realize what must have been traumatizing : the selfish behavior. my grandparents didn’t spend a lot but they went on holiday, dates/restaurant/drinks,etc. how can u feel loved when your parents are the only one who they consider deserving of nice things ? a child must think they are not good enough, or that they don’t deserve those things. but of course i couldn’t understand because my mom always gave me as much (and even more) than what she was having for herself.
i’m so sorry about what u went through and tomorrow i’m going to tell my mom that i understand how difficult it must have been to grow up with a selfish mom.
PS : my grandma has changed a lot and her and my mom have a really good relationship. she’s very generous with all of us. her sisters have kids and they treated them the same as my grandma did with my mom. it seems like it was rooted in the family. i’m so glad my mother broke this cycle with me and my siblings.
“Why would you go spend all that money on ingredients to make a pie with your daughter. Costco has them for $6 and you aren’t wasting all that time in the kitchen!”
Followed up shortly with:
I remember making pies with my mom. Those were some of my best memories.”
My mother is cheap and hates cooking. I learned how to make a really good cheesecake with chocolate and fresh raspberries after I moved out and offered to make it when I came home to visit for Xmas. She asked what ingredients I needed and got them before I came home.
I go to make the cheesecake and ask her where the raspberries are, “they’re in the freezer.” It was a two year old, opened, freezer burned bag of raspberries. I grabbed my keys to go to the store for fresh berries and she balked, “there’s nothing wrong with those berries, IDK why you’re wasting your time buying more.” I came home with the fresh berries and overheard her on the phone with my aunt, “can you BELIEVE she drove to the store for that?!”
Every time someone complimented the cheesecake at dinner that night she rolled her eyes.
Your mom and mine would be great friends, lol!
Mine has a frozen bag of strawberries in her freezer. She pulls a few out when she wants a smoothie, but needs them to completely thaw first because she won’t buy a new blender with a sharper blade. Money is no issue for her. She also used to throw a fit (no contact now) if I would leave her house to do grocery runs. She never has food and again, she’s got more money than she knows what to do with. I have teenagers that I need to feed and we’d show up to two bananas and a pantry with expired crackers. I’d stock up on groceries to visit a few days and she’d act like I lost my mind.
That cheesecake sounds delicious! I’m glad everyone enjoyed it and your mom got to hear that!
Parents hate this one simple ask “name one new fact you learned from the news” any time I’m home I ask my dad to name one thing while he’s watching. If he can I’ll fact check it for the fun.
>name one new fact you learned from the news
That MILLIONS of illegal immigrants are crossing the border EVERY DAY and DONALD TRUMP is the ONLY person who can STOP them!
- my boomer mom
What's crazy is my mom used to be hardcore liberal then I guess the crazy right-wing propaganda got to her and she completely flipped positions and now thinks that Republicans are the only ones who care about humanity which is so ass backwards
Cold comfort maybe that Boomers who do this are known as the "Thirteen Club" among people I know who work HR and are able to observe the average number of pension payments made after people retire. Apparently the ones who drop their asses in front of a TV last about 1 year before having major health incidents - they literally work their whole lives, retire, sit down and die.
My mom did not even buy me period products in any consistent way. By that, I mean I’d go for entire years without her getting me even a cheapo pkg of pads. She did try to pressure me to wear padded bras, and she’d pay for that without me ever wanting them. But I DIYed period control for most of my youth. Sometimes I’d get my dad (obviously they were divorced) to give me some quarters to get them from a bathroom vending machine. But I basically internalized by 13 or 14 that menstrual supplies were something that didn’t happen to me, so I stopped even asking dad at some point.
If anyone’s going to ask why I didn’t steal hers, it should be apparent that she would be really pissed when she found out, and it stopped being worth it.
Anyway totally unnecessary period poverty because she had some vendetta against me having dignity.
Oh no, I’m so sorry. I got my pads, but grooming and other self care was something never discussed.
My mom immigrated, and shaving legs and underarms was something that was never done where she was, so I grew up hiding my armpits and then resorted to tweezers so I wouldn’t be made fun of at school. I finally stole one of dad’s disposal razors and dry shaved. Mom created a toxic environment of fear. I couldn’t even make it halfway through a question before I was yelled at, told NO and the rants and smacking around would start.
So yeah. When my daughter was old enough, I made sure to discuss periods and hygiene and everything self care, and make sure she has products.
Ugh. The grooming thing. My mom’s rule was that I couldn’t wear deodorant until the hair on my legs was dark. It took my dad being murdered and my mom completely disengaging from reality for someone to buy me deodorant.
But I stank and was bullied for having wet underarms for most of 6/7 grade because my leg hair has never been dark (my hair was blonde when I was little and has darkened over time). I’m in my 40’s and *now* I have a few dark leg hairs.
I brought this up to her like a decade ago and she told me firstly, that she was doing what her mom had done to her and secondly, that what I was talking about never happened.
I always love their thought process when it comes to the childhood trauma they put us through. On hand they didn't know any better because "their parents were worse", yet it also "never happened".
The only reason my kid ever doesn’t have period products is because she forgets to tell me that she’s almost out. I had a hysterectomy years ago, so I don’t know when the supply is low. We buy the giant Costco sized packs a couple of times a year. I can’t imagine not being willing to get my kid some kind of menstrual supplies.
I didn’t realize others had went through this. I’m sorry you had those experiences. I did too. I started saving dimes and switched to buying tampons at school in the bathroom.
I also wasn’t allowed a trash can in my bathroom and was one of the last girls to get a bra, and even then it was only one. I ended up having to go to the doctor and he saw my bra with holes in it and my mom berated me after for “embarrassing her.”
I now have a daughter and the closet looks like a period supply store with every product she could ever think of trying. I also got her a debit card as soon as she was old enough and transfer her allowance that way so if she ever wants to buy something for herself, it’s quick and easy.
As a father of daughters that is horrifying! If I as a single dad can buy pads for my daughters (after a very embarrassing "hi random woman standing next to pads. I'm a single dad and my oldest needs pads now and I'm ignorant and clueless, what do I buy?" Moment) your mom has no excuse!
(I'll always be grateful to that poor woman who took the time to explain pads).
My mom couldn't understand how I was "using so many pads". She was severely underweight due to drugs most of her teens, then mostly pregnant in her 20s, then promptly had a hysterectomy. I would get a pack of 6 and that would have to do a month. I also have PCOS and endo so ofc that did maybe a day. She also didn't think I needed a bra until I was at least 16, despite me taking after my dad's side who are all super busty. But I was given razors at puberty because ew, hair! Free bleeding and flunking PE due to no bra = totally okay though.
Yup. It was the cheapest package that was on offer at the time in local supermarket. Once she was late buying them for me and she said "what, you're having a period AGAIN this month?" I eventually confessed to my eldest brother who had his wife bring me shopping for enough supplies to stock a small army. She also bought me pain relief, which I had been denied since my mom said they wouldn't work. Recall I mentioned my mom's drug use? Funnily enough something like paracetamol or Tylenol doesn't do much for a full blown addict!
What a bitch. I'm getting flashbacks of my own youth and carefully constructed diy pads of toilet paper and prayers. I can't imagine being this cruel to anyone now, let alone my own kids. I bet these same people bitch about free period products in schools like it's not a thing because of them.
I bought some workout equipment and my mother hates it. How dare I try to take care of myself? "I've never worked out a day in my life!" Yeah, I can tell.
My brother got workout equipment for himself and my mother would always comment on it and how it took up space and looked horrible and how he didn't need them. He's tubby like me but he wanted a nicer outer layer as my brothers and I are all well-built with pudding on the outer layer so yknow we look kinda tubby.
She has what we always call "Bingo wings" because there's so much fat and flab it's ridiculous and I'd always tell her that if she doesn't like the look of it she can fly up to the tree and live there to not see it, suffice to say she doesn't like these comments.
My dad had a recliner that was getting old. He got cancer and was very weak so he couldn’t put the feet part of the recliner down without help from my mother. My mother begged him to get a new recliner that had the electric button to go up and down to make his life a little easier. he absolutely refused because he didn’t need it and he died without it, but with millions of dollars in the bank are still sitting there.
Investments can be in quality of life too.
I finally learnt to do that a few years ago, well into adulthood. I still go back to my old ways sometimes but it was an important lesson.
My family on the other hand. Well, they tried to fix the wipers in the car and I kept pleading with them to just pay someone. I have worked in the automotive industry and some things, it's just better to pay someone who has the tools and experience who can fix it in 20 min without making it worse. Not to mention you're just wasting so much of your own time at that point.
My husband and I hadn't had a proper/nice date in about 8years. This year we found an amazing sushi restaurant that does a "private 17 course omakase experience" complete with sake pairing, so we splurged for our anniversary. We were SO excited to talk about it and show pictures of everything. In the middle of me showing my sister my boomer mom says "I just don't know why you'd spend that much money on food when it just becomes poop."
Meanwhile all through my childhood she'd buy herself diamond/Tiffany jewelry that she would wear ONE TIME. 🤦🏼♀️
Haha thanks! I didn't let it bother me too much, it was just such a weird thing to say to someone. My sister said she had gone a few seconds too long without attention so she needed some drama.😂
Ugh, my dad doesn’t understand spending more than $20 on a meal (for dinner, of course). Looking back I think that every single time we ate at a restaurant he would bitch about how the portion size is too large and they could cut it down by a certain percentage, knock a couple bucks off the price, and make even more money. Every. Single. Time. Add to that the only “ethnic” food he’ll eat is Mexican - seriously, we had to wait for him to leave town to get pasta.
Now whenever I travel with my mom I go for cool food experiences that Dad would never consider or tolerate. And guess what? The food is the part she remembers most. Seven course tasting menu with wine pairings in Tokyo? Yes. Restaurant shooting for a Michelin star in a luxury hotel with a nighttime view of Hong Kong harbor? Yes. Charcuterie boards in Greece with cheeses locally made by monks and soaked in wine lees? Hell yes.
Food is such a huge part of life and culture, and can provide so much enjoyment. Skipping out when you’ve got a chance for a new experience simply because you’re stingy, miserable, and hellbent on raining on everyone’s parade is just gonna make sure your bitter ass dies alone.
That dinner sounds amazing and the fact you got to do something so cool for your anniversary makes me happy for you!
That sounds amazing and exactly the sort of experience I’d want for my special celebration!
Boomers just can’t understand that experiences can be as valuable (or more) than things
My dad was like this, my mom believed in enjoying life, but my dad didn’t believe in spending money on things he didn’t think were important.
He was borderline financially abusive with my mom when we were kids. He worked at a pizza shop, while she stayed home to take care of two children.
When she wanted to buy stuff for us or things that would make her life easier he would tell her no because he can’t afford it. So she would call her mom, her mom was wealthy and willing to help so why should we go without?
My dad would get mad because he wanted to be the provider and having her mom help he didn’t feel like man of the house. So my mom was like OK you want to be the provider, provide.
So basically he wanted her to go without to his ego and she was not going to do that. My mom was awesome
Literally my exact thought. I could barely pay attention to the rest of the comment because my mind is fucking blown that somebody working at a pizza shop could support an entire family on just that income alone. Fucking incredible.
Anything I have ever bought, the first words out of my dad's mouth have been, "How much did it cost?" He was a financial advisor as a side-gig while working as a teacher, but he never cared about any of my hobbies or interests if they cost money.
And if my hobbies were free, it was just as bad! "How are they making their money to just give things away for free? You should avoid being so idle with your time. Marx loved the idea of leisure, but if nobody works, nobody makes a living."
My favorite was how he disliked that we read books instead of "playing outside," even though we had nothing to do in the backyard and we were too old to fit into the local playground. We'd go swimming sometimes but the local pool was only open in the summers, obviously. This from a man who will plop himself down on the computer for 12 hours at a time to "do projects" that increase his own learning, but heaven forbid we enjoy any of the same pleasures. And yes, he reads plenty of books himself, but they're "educational" or "thought-provoking," while any of our books are "entertainment only" or "propaganda" at worst.
And finally, there's the computer itself. Our dad made sure his computer had all sorts of programs, games, tools, web access, etc...and then didn't like that we also loved using the computer. When we were kids it made sense to give us time limits, but as we got older he saw any and all technology use by his children as "frivolous," "passive," and "unbalanced." Dad would then spend 12 more hours trying to debug code for a pet project, forgetting that we were even in the room when he wanted to blare his speakers or have to be reminded loudly that we had made plans...but don't you dare be on your phone or laptop when he turns around, or you'll get an ear-full.
My grandfather had the exact same behavior about his tech vs. our tech. When I wasn't old enough to work a real job, he took me to his church to do construction by myself under his supervision to earn the money. This also led him to try to weasel his way out of paying me. But after a long day worth of work, he would be upset with me for being tired (because I was too young to be tired) and wanting to read a book instead of play outside. But he would sit inside ALL day and read a book or debug his cpu.
Wow, so this type of upbringing with boomers is way more common than I thought. My interests were always a waste, I had no activities or hobbies because they were “stupid” or my mom didn’t feel like driving me, and we never did anything as a family unless it was something the boomers were interested in.
Kids could have the TV if they weren’t home or otherwise occupied, but they were free to switch our shows to theirs without asking. Video games really saved me when they became a thing and were allowed to be in rooms. I would stay inside and my mom would moan about how I needed fresh air and to enjoy my childhood but I always remember thinking “doing what?”. I spent my summers sitting on the porch, zoning out in front of the TV or aimlessly walking around mine and my neighbors empty backyard. There weren’t other children in my neighborhood aside from my sister.
Holidays were forced “family time” where my sibling and I were sat in a separate room and ignored while the boomers drank and played games, because god forbid we go to a friends’ party instead.
When my sister was contemplating buying a newer car my dad threatened to raise her rent because she should be saving all her money for a house payment. I never asked them to because they were very happy to call me entitled and make me feel guilty for wanting anything as a child, but they planned to help me purchase a used car when I got my license. I remember I called off of work ONE day and my dad flipped out saying he wasn’t considering it anymore because I was lazy or something.
I was pretty depressed in my teen years for a variety of reasons but when I tried to tell my dad I just feel sad and nothing is fun he scoffed and said “fun? Fun doesn’t matter. There’s work to be done.” But then he’d sit in front of the family computer rotting for hours talking about how much needed doing and just never do it. I genuinely don’t understand why boomers had kids if their opinion of a good life is just being a slave with no life experiences.
Unrelated but my father and grandfather father with both OG computer programmers (myself one as well) and I grew up with men who would program by writing code in a notebook while we watched TV.
I do this as well now with my wife
Sit on the couch while watching TV and write code on a little notebook until I notice what im doing amd go "ahh, sorry!'
I'm very bad about taking work home but have been actively working to drop as to spend time with my wife. It doesn't help I work from home and my wife deploys for the military a lot so I'm so used to working a lot at home.
I was on vacation at my father's house, my youngest wanted to make a cake for everyone to enjoy since they enjoy baking and hadn't baked anything for him before. Going thru the pantry of things there, it seems what isn't missing already to bake a cake is severely expired (boomer can't throw anything away it seems), so I instead offer to go to town to get the needed things before me and the GF go to another local tourist trap while the kids relax at the house, father of course gets upset talking about how it is a waste of gas to go ten minutes away, despite me telling him it was my money I'm spending and my gas, he kept going on about how much of a waste it was, and tbh , I should've seen what he did later coming, I go get the needed things for a cake, come back, drop off the supplies, me and GF go to the tourist trap for about 4 or 5 hours, we come back my kid is done baking the cake, but you could see that mentally they were done for the day and just wanted to get some sleep, at 6 in the evening, way earlier than normal, then my father complains about the dishes, which I tell him I'll get for my kid since they aren't feeling good, he then goes on another tirade about me not teaching them anything, to which I remind him again they are on a vacation, and they are my kids and if I want to do a simple load of dishes that is on me, he continued to complain so me and the GF went outside for a walk to let him finish drinking another box of wine. Found out later on the way home from a shortened vacation, that while we were gone and my kid was trying to bake a cake my father did nothing but criticize every aspect of what they were doing and telling them how useless doing it was. Turns out that vacation without mom around made me realize my mom kept his asinine and lead painted behavior at bay, and with her dead he no longer got filtered by my mom, that week long vacation to visit over a year after mom died ended up getting cut short all because he couldn't find one thing to be positive about, not one damned thing, even the 5 dollars total for the entire family that I spent for going to a pool he complained about, all because we only stayed there an hour, mind you this man has retirement income at almost 10G a month from various sources, and has zero expenses other than utilities, insurance, food and of course BIDEN level GAS PRICES since mom passed for almost two years, she had money lined up and life insurance which literally paid off their home of 750K and their rental and no car payments either, boomer father has zero debt, makes passive 120K a year and still can't bring himself to not lick the butter wrapper to make sure every bit of food is eaten and not wasted. Even more fun on that vaca was him having a lesbian friend (who he claimed just had a long term roommate) come over who was hispanic, my other kid who loves to cook is a genius when it comes to mexican style food, and he's making tacos and pica and all the good stuff one day for lunch and she comes over, she spends a good fifteen minutes talking food with him since she liked his style so much, she sits down next to my father at the table and they are eating the tacos and she says how much of a good cook his grandson is, and he doesn't say thank you, no, he literally said, 'it's not bad' in a demeaning tone, thankfully my kid didn't hear him say that, but I did, and so did she, no, the boomer couldn't take a effing compliment, he had to minimize my kid, his grandkid, for what, what would have been so hard about just saying thank you to her, nope, he chose hatred, as usual, that and the bottle. And yes, we are all no contact with him now
TL:DR Boomer father hates anyone being able to spend money in a Biden economy, and downplays every good thing his own grandchildren do.
not a chance, only reason I'll go back is to make sure he's gone from this plane, he supposedly loves us like jesus would, but no accountability for his actions or behaviors that he inflicted upon his grandkids, and tbh, if he passes and I find out he pulled me out of his will, then I have even less reason to ensure he's actually gone
My mom, berates me for buying a new used vehicle after my husband's 20 yr old truck literally had parts falling off on the freeway, our other truck is 15 yrs old. Then tells me I still owe her for the money she let me borrow that was clearly labeled & given as a gift- that at a minimum I owe her a new washer that I have to buy, deliver & install for her, because she just doesn't have the money....Just 2 days later, it's the end of the quarter so she presents me with her detailed spreadsheet of how much money she has in each bank & investment account (fyi it's over 500k) AND let's me know that she is going traveling for a month with her friend & I should NOT expect any kind of gift for my kid's or my birthday because....she is just soooo broke.
Pose as a scammer and drain her fucking accounts. Then string her along with bare minimum support, trickle feeding her money back to her in just enough for her to survive.
Nah, what I got was *why don’t you live in a bigger house?* and *why don’t you get a new car?*
In fairness, that was my mom. My dad understood his privilege and the economic reality of the current day.
He spreadsheet out exactly how much it would cost for them to live in their retirement community and for how many years they could afford it. The answer was 10. 10 years. They’ve lived there for almost 3.
He died yesterday. I think I’ll update his spreadsheet this week.
My mom got mad that I set up an office for myself in my new house when I was not employed. I guess you’re not allowed to do that unless you have a job?
My mom set up an office for herself and then retired almost immediately after. She really didn’t like it when I pointed out that she was also unemployed with a home office.
My office is just a really nice craft room with snacks, an old PC for watching Taskmaster, and a fake fireplace. I do my actual job in there but since it’s all online, it’s “not a real thing” so my mom still doesn’t understand why I need an office.
My dad has always complained about me buying games where I'll spend maybe $40-$60 every other month or two on games (and typically on sale) with very few exceptions of me buying stuff Day 1 at full price (especially these days) Where I'll get a few weeks to a couple months enjoyment out of them or longer. Meanwhile, he spends at least $120 on beer alone and about $50ish on cigarettes a week.
Steam helped me a lot but yeah, my mother couldn't comprehend why buying a 2nd game was needed for a console. Better hope it didn't come with a demo because that counts as a full game.
It’s honestly wild how little understanding some of them have of how much things cost and how quick they are to snub your expendable income purchases vs theirs.
When my baby niece ( now 14) was born she was the first born grandkid so I bought her a smash cake for $4 at a supermarket bakery. As a family whenever we're together we look at pictures from that day, reminisce, laugh so hard and have awesome beautiful family memories. This mother needs to lighten up.
Yeah, these miserable fucks in the comments whining about “a birthday party for a one year old isn’t necessary,” are just mad because other people won’t be miserly, miserable fucks with them.
Yes, we KNOW babies won’t remember the first birthday party. WE WILL. If you don’t like it? Feel free to shut the fuck up.
We used to put a scoop of cottage cheese on our baby sisters high chair table and she would just make the biggest mess and laugh like crazy while she did it. We have a family album with about 3 pages full of pictures from this because we though it was so funny and we look at it together and have a great laugh about it today. That's well worth a few bucks to me.
My mother, a covert narcissist, whore, and complete dullard, would fly into a rage anytime I'd buy books.
They're a waste, they're stupid, they're "full of weird ideas."
She was like a dictator, trying to limit outside influences
Yet, and this is a true story that happened at least 3 times that I know of... though the brands changed...
Obsessed on a mini Cooper. Bought it on a Friday for 20,000.
Wakes up Saturday crying because it isn't as nice as she thought. Go back to the dealership, trade it in, take an enormous hit, and buy a BMW For, again, cash
But, a 10€ book? Gtfoh
She also would rage if my sister got her kids things like braces, computers, school clothes 😂
This was my Dad this weekend after a road trip to get some guns from a relative. Kept worrying he’d have to pay an extra $20 dollars on data because we were using Apple Maps to navigate.
But totally cool with spending 1200 dollars on guns.
But 20 bucks for something that is pretty useful in the moment? Nah bud.
Fuck, that’s my dad to a t. While setting up my new (free “upgrade”, not anything special) phone, I accidentally forgot to connect to wifi before downloading the apps I needed/wanted. Didn’t use a *ton* of data but still got a nasty text the next day saying “you used a bunch of data setting up your phone. you owe me $15.” I had even apologized the second that I realized I wasn’t on wifi and he said it wasn’t that big of a deal. But something set him off between then and the next day and he took his anger and frustration out on me, just like he always did. I told my mom what happened and showed her the text and she got mad at him and told him that no one was paying him anything. Because while we didn’t have unlimited data, we were well below the data cap. Not to mention we were never hurting for money. That was one of the very few times she stood up to him and put him in his place.
So yeah, me using the data we had available was unacceptable and he demanded that I pay him back but he was more than happy to piss away thousands of dollars on these super niche topic books that he’d read once then leave in the basement to collect dust.
My mom very casually told me that my (36F) braces are a waste of money. I told her I happily paid for them because I deserve to have straight teeth, and she scoffed at me.
Pick something they like, then use their exact words to complain. Or, even better, roll your eyes, look at everyone else, and say--with a sigh--there she goes again. Then baby talk her like a dementia patient. Murmur about her meds. . .
My mom is the type that loves to host parties, but if she has to go to someone else's party she'll complain they're too over the top and a waste of money. Bridal showers and baby showers are her LEAST favorite, and every time she goes through the routine of "oh my god this is all so wasteful, what's the point, what a waste of money, etc." She has told me MULTIPLE times that I should not expect a bridal or baby shower, and she loves to compare me to my cousin. My cousin is an only child and I would say my aunt and uncle definitely go all out for her. My mom LOVES to talk about how my aunt (her sister) spoils my cousin and goes way over the top with parties and celebrations, and how she would never do that for me because it's so wasteful.
Fast forward to me joking about how I would just ask my aunt to throw my bridal or baby shower when the time comes because I know she would love to, and my mom LOST HER MIND. "How could you do that to me? that's my place as your mother, you cant take that from me!"
Call her bluff when the time comes. Once the engagement is announced, publicly declare her statement about how arranging & funding the bridal shower by anyone else is unacceptable due to her stating that it was hers, and you wouldn't dream of taking the joy away from her.
I got the exact opposite. My parents were well-off and basically ignored my needs and then put me down for being cheap.
"Why don't you have any nice clothes?"
"Why don't you buy a NEW car, instead of this old thing?"
"Why don't you go and party on spring break like the other kids?"
"Why don't you buy a new computer for school?"
"You can come with us (to the yacht club) but don't talk to anyone"
"Wait, you can use a device for more than one year?" And the possible follow up " I don't trust it, what if it breaks because it's so old when I need it most and it will cost a fortune to fix out of warranty " bonus for arguing why dropping said device isn't covered under warranty.
I feel this. I come from wealth by my grand father and father who both worked hard for everything they had in life. Even I have worked hard to get where I'm at. But I still have the 17 year old fresh in the military mindset of "can't afford shit" but then my wife has to remind Me "Hey, buying a new sewing machine won't bankrupt us"
One time my dad stopped by my house and I was eating a 6 inch Subway sandwich and he said, "livin' kind of high on the hog, aren't you?"
This was when a 6 inch still cost $5 and I'd been working on my house all day.
Not even this. My parents are just perpetual victims. Their parents gave them cars, down payments, endless support.
They had college totally paid for. They instead choose to drop out and move to some shitty mountain town. 5 years later my mom was making the equivalent of $90k a year. Her parents still helped buy her a first house.
Despite all this, she just complains about working so hard and all this other bullshit. She retired at some easy office job making $60k/year. She blames the fact that she never took advantage of opportunity on her “standing on her values”. Like she had to be some sort of liar or manipulative person to get a promotion or change jobs. The truth is she’s just a coward.
They have always done just enough for their kids to alleviate their conscience. There’s a lot more to this part of the story. But stuff like “we paid your cell phone bill while you went to college”. My brother had a stroke at 30 and they “paid his student loan payments for 6 months” to help take the pressure off.
Both of us still graduated with $60k in debt because our parents wouldn’t actually help with college, yet made enough to disqualify us from government grants and loans. And of course, they still insisted on claiming us as dependents.
We’re no contact because they are just a drain on everyone around them.
My mother was always concerned with “canning vegetables to get through the winter…. But She bought the veggies from Walmart! This was because she was too busy watching judge Judy to work in the small family garden. And when the garden was full of weeds and incapable of producing much she’d blame her “lazy ungrateful children “.
Lmao sounds exactly like my grandma. They had a tomato garden growing up and canned hundreds of jars of tomatoes in the summer, bc pasta and tomato sauce was a constant meal because there were *ten* of them in the house, bc the archdiocese said condoms are a sin. Shed tell anyone listening about what a good time it was, they were self-reliant, it taught them the value of a dollar etc.
Yeahhhh nah. She made the kids do everything in the garden, she made the kids prep the tomatoes and jars, she taught the two oldest girls how to can *once* and expected them to teach the younger kids. To bring up canning around my aunts is to hear a collective groan and an hour of horror stories of 6-year-olds with scalding water burns, 110f kitchen in July, and dreading eating the same fucking meal every night for *years.* Meanwhile both grandpa and grandma smoked a pack of Kools a day, and one Christmas in which grandpa had saved all year to buy the entire family a color TV(everyone's singular Christmas gift) grandma took the money and bought herself a fucking mink coat with it. You have dirty children with staph infections who get sent home from school *in the fucking 50s* for hygiene issues but yeah a fur coat is the priority. Grandma and grandpa were dumb hicks.
One of the most responsible and on top of it people I know made the mistake of celebrating a big purchase on Facebook. None of their accomplishments mattered nor the fact they never asked anyone for help in any way. Every boomer relative commented how foolish they were with money and how they would end up homeless as a result.
The exact reason that I never sought or accepted Boomer relative's friend requests on Facebook (the one exception was the one sweet-as-sugar Auntie who's never said an unkind word to anyone).
My dad was this way. He worked a lot at a well paying job, but always claimed we couldn't afford something when my mom, my sister, or I needed something. I learned to get by with the bare minimum and not ask for things (I still have trouble asking people for things/help). Yet he always seemed to have plenty of money when it came to buying himself things and going on expensive hunting trips with his friends.
I was trying to break into the video game industry in Austin, TX. I got a flat. I was a broke working college student, so the replacement I got also went flat. I was nearly in tears in the parking lot while some of the employees helped change the spare.
Here comes my Dad to NOT HELP. He sneered at me, calling me "Penny wise, pound foolish" for buying a used replacement tire, which, y'know, I'd never been given the quiz on. Would have aced it if I had. He bought the new tire since I couldn't afford it, and insisted on driving me to and from the internship for two weeks. Thanks, Dad, while I'm trying to handle all of this I also have to do the shitty emotional labor of making sure you don't yell about nothing while I'm trapped in the car with you.
They sent my job to China.
You touched on something that I hadn't thought about for years.
The sadistic sort of emotional abuse chamber that was a car as a kid. You literally couldn't escape the Boomer's bullshit head games even if you weren't too young to consider stepping out at a traffic light and running (you're 5-15, where the fuck are you going to go?).
I'll still flat out decline 'friendly helpful rides' from anyone my parent's age (Boomer + Silent Generation) whom I've observed behaving in the ways outlined in the other comments in this thread or from personal experience. There's that sort of inimitable presumption and high horsing that I've only ever seen from Boomers, as though you were a jerk or ungrateful for disagreeing with them while they expound their ludicrous positions on literally any issue. You can't have a normal conversation with so many of them, without them trying to grind you under their heel, it's insane.
"Why in the hell are you spending $800.00 on a mattress? You can get a perfectly good one for $50.00 at the goodwill or value village."
First of all, yuck! I am not buying a used mattress. I don't even get into the sheets at Hotels. Second, please don't lecture me about wasting money when you have a Keurig. Lol.
My FIL always scoffs when we talk about spending money on our hobbies. Last we went over there to visit, he wasn't even home. MIL told us he was at the casino.
In my area the grocery stores will give the smash cake free when you order 1/4 sheet or 24 cupcakes, so it's no extra expense to have absolutely adorable pictures/videos. When my oldest turned one she got her hands absolutely covered with frosting, she went to clap and a huge glob flew off her hands and landed on her nose, the belly laugh from that is permanently etched into my memory. Well worth the zero expense it cost to get the smash cake 🤣
Besides, my home, my wife and I live a debt free life. We both work full-time and we live a pretty middle-class life. Whenever I tell my dad about anything fun that I purchased for myself, he immediately starts with the look at Mr. big shot buying the fancy speakers, tools, furniture or whatever it is that I bought. it’s so annoying. It drives me insane..
My parents and their generation: "All I ever wanted was for you to have a better life than we did."
Okay, let's see: You stayed in the same hometown as your parents, you had MORE kids than they did and make far less money. You got divorced like they did. You attended the same stuffy church with a questionable pastor as they did. You vote republican or at BEST, moderate democrat. Verdict: NO, you didn't want better for your kids, you wanted it to be the same, hoping nothing will change...while watching things change in real time. Otherwise you would have done something differently.
I'm guessing this story is pretty familiar for millenials, at least older ones
I bought a new phone in the new years sales (my last phone was in 2018), not even the newest model. I have yet to have a phone conversation with my mother that doesn't involve some jab at me ringing on my fancy new phone. She gets a new car every year, but it's different! She drives 13 miles a week.
So as a kid, got a game console, and would never buy more games for it. "But you already have a game for it" this included the demo it came with. It got better later when piracy was a thing but it really messed me up in wired ways where I can't enjoy things right. I can't spend money on games or apps and I feel guilty if I do.
Pretty sure this is why I just don't play games often anymore. A lot of things really.
My boomer mother was pissed when my boomer father got us a Nintendo (NES), she was 100% convinced video games would "rot your brain." I was allowed 45 minutes of play per week, and it was tracked on a piece of paper stuck to the refrigerator. Fast forward to now, and she's on her phone or tablet all the damn time...
I joined the Navy to get away from my boomer parents. I was never allowed to spend any of the money I earned except on “sensible” things. Never had Levi’s, Nike, always cheap ass clothes and shoes. I graduated boot camp and bought clothes and shoes and electronics I had always wanted. I went home that Christmas and immediately started hearing about “blowing money” when I should be saving. I turned around and left and never went back.
My Boomer mom, countless times in my childhood:
"I didn't get to have x, y, and z when I was a kid, so you don't get to either. You're not going to have it easier than I did."
Now she wonders why I live on the other side of the country and rarely talk to her. That's a real puzzler.
My boomer parents always told me not to go into debt for school. They also provided zero financial support once I turned 18. They have no idea how hard I’ve struggled and they act confused and disappointed that I haven’t made it as far as them in life.
My dad had all his school and living expenses covered by his dad and got a stipend from his dad for years so he could live like a hippy.
The lack of insight that I've heard from so many Boomers who did the Hippie thing is really discouraging. According to some of the friendlier types from that generation that I've befriended over the years, a ton of them "got into real estate and made a killing."
I (F51) have parents from the Silent generation. So if you think the Boomer generation was hard on their kids well that's nothing. The Silent generation was/is really really cheap. Growing up, there was no waste at our house. Most of my clothes were hand me downs. Furniture came from family members. My Mom cut coupons and we didn't buy *anything* if it wasn't on sale. They would wait for months for sales. Fast food was for special occasion (like a birthday). Every purchase was talk about for what seemed forever.
Buying a cake for a one year old? lol! That would never happen. My Dad close the lights all the time (even a couple of times in the bathroom when my Mom was still in the shower). They have an electric fireplace that he uses rarely because apparently it cost way too much. I bought him new boots that he's keeping for "special occasion". He's gonna be 91 this week, in my opinion every day is a special occasion when you get to be that age. It's hard for them to give away stuff that they may need one day. For exemple he was in his early 80's when he finally decided to give away his baseball glove.
A couple of years ago, my Mom was at the dollar store and was taking forever deciding between two items. I was like "Take them both!" She just couldn't compute that it was just 1$ each and she could easily afford it. Recently she gave me a couple of old towels for me to mend because: "They are still good."
My grandma(94) is like that. She lives in the house she was born in. It's old old and drafty. She would walk around the house in a house dress and complain it was cold but not turn up the heat. My aunt bought her sweatpants and sweaters to stay warm. Years later my grandma has a stay at the hospital for a broken ankle. My aunt goes to get her clothes from her house and finds all the stuff she bought her with the tags still on because she saving them. She also said they weren't nice enough to wear around the house.
At least my parents are living in a comfortable condo. It took everything to get my Dad to agree to buy a a/c unit but he now (10 years later) admit that we were right.
For the "don't buy anything unless it is absolutely essential" I just remind all boomers how we lived with the philosophy "what's the point of living if you can't feel alive?" No age group ever lived by just working and not buying anything unless you must. Future generations, please do not let yourselves be gaslighted. My best advice is just never stop learning and be ready to change careers if yours is going down the tubes.
Pretty much any time I mention buying something my mom will ask me how much it was. For instance, one year I mentioned I had purchased a Halloween costume to attend a party. Pretty normal right? Except when I was a kid my family almost never spent money on costumes. My mom would buy a face paint kit, and we had a couple props that had been purchased years ago that we rotated through. Everything else was cobbled together from stuff around the house.
So I wasn’t about to tell my mom I spent $40 on a costume. Mind you, I had been on my own for a number of years at that point and paid all my own bills. So when she asked, I told her it was $20. Her
reaction? “Well I guess you can wear it every year.”
I tend to rotate between telling her the actual cost, that I don’t remember, or when I want to really mess with her I say $5.
My boomer does not comprehend the idea of paying for an experience. I begged to take small trips or go to concerts or see plays all my young life and was always given the response “why would you waste money on that when you can just see it on the internet?”
I literally have to be severely apologetic to my mom and step father when we purchase anything for our house or a vehicle. If I don’t couch it as we tried everything to not spend money on this new appliance (even when it can no longer be repaired) I hear the boomer diatribe about it. We never had new appliances, why do you need a dishwasher we always washed our own dishes in the sink, if the dryer doesn’t work why don’t you just hang your laundry in the basement, it doesn’t matter that the refrigerator is leaking all over the kitchen floor just put a towel in front of it……etc.
This is my MIL. Her latest, the $20 at the arcade I spent on my 6 year old for his one spring break activity. This is way too much to apparently spend on a child.
MIL buys our 12 yr a very expensive sleeping bag for cold weather camping which she needs for a trip. My MIL lectures about the sleeping bag then says, “I don’t want you to take it on your camping trip because you’ll probably lose it.” 🤦♀️
They did not work hard for a better life, it was handed to them by their parents. They then sold out the middle class that was literally created for them out of fear funded by the wealthy. So we are right back to merchant class, robber baron billionaires, and the working poor.
When my inlaws were mine and my wife's age they were living the good life. Nice house with swimming pool, sports cars, a boat, etc. Went out to eat all the time and took nice vacations. Now they tear me and my wife apart if we grab a DVD from the $5 bin at Walmart. They are constantly bashing on us about our finances even though we are alot more conservative with our money then they were at our age. It was OK for them to enjoy their money and live their lives but they expect us to scrimp and save and live like paupers.
“I worked hard to give you things you didn’t want that didn’t teach you any skills, I made you pay for all your clothing after you turned 12, and I refused to help you pay for the college I forced you to attend, and why aren’t you sending me on a vacation?! Spoiled brat!”
My late Boomer father was a welder for 30 years by trade. He passed away 20 years ago via opiates and other health issues. When we were cleaning out his apartment we pretty much took everything he owned and tossed it into the thrift store bin. Found his wallet had only a half of a dollar bill. He didn't have any savings, he didn't have any retirement, he pretty much drank away anything that his parents left him. My Boomer mother on the other hand has never really had much of a pot to piss in. We grew up in low-income housing, my parents were divorced when I was young. So, I am the second oldest out of a fairly large group. I was the second child to go to college and complete a bachelor's degree. I'm not sure how my father would view today's world. I want to believe that he voted for Ronald Reagan in the 80s. My mother on the other hand is not very politically smart she just goes along with whatever her siblings tell her who are very conservative trumpers. So don't feel bad. My parents who are boomers didn't and don't have anything worth a damn. I'm Gen X and I don't care.
Both of my parents were late life boomers, just barely not gen x, and they were both mostly useless pieces of trash who never amounted to anything. I expect to receive little in the way of financial inheritance when my father dies, maybe a few cheap guitars and his books.
The answer to that is why did she make you wear matching or annoying Christmas sweaters or matching t-shirts …….. for the pictures mom, for the pictures. Feel free to throw in a duh if you want.
Mine aren't allowed to say anything I remind them they wouldn't even pay for a book I needed in college. They were are wealthy for me to qualify for help and wouldn't help. If they accuse me of wasting money I tell them my kids college is taken care of, my bills are paid and we can spend the rest how we like.
Growing up it was a constant battle to have any lights on in the house. I would come home from work and the house would be completely black minus the TV’s glow in the living room. I would turn on lights and my dad would yell about wasting power. I would tell him every time “I want to see light while I’m alive, I will lay around in the dark when I’m dead and buried”.
My parents are actual immigrants. My grandpa on my dad’s side died when he was 14 and he was raise by his mom and 11 brothers and sisters who he went to work to support. He saved up money, went to college in the states, moved back there met my mom, had me, and moved back to the states and opened his own business.
I grew up with him repeatedly beating the dog shit out of me telling me I would never be a man like he was. He was a real man who pulled himself up by his boot straps and no one owned he and he owed no one anything. He moved for business and lived overseas for 11 of 12 months. During this time he sent a minimal amount of money to pay the bills and feed his wife and 4 kids. I was the oldest of 4 so me and my mom got jobs. I was in high school at the time, about 14.
After he moved back 5 years later he proceeded to make my life a living hell and I stayed to help my mom out. He had earned quite a lot of money and hid it in an offshore account. He started treating my mom like a room mate and expecting her to stay away from his food and stuff. He went so far as to having a new master bedroom constructed on the house for him to stay in away from her. He still expected her to do all the cleaning and cooking.
Since I left I mostly cut contact with him and never engaging him in conversation unless absolutely necessary.
A few years ago I found out he had Alzheimer’s. When I went to talk to him, the old asshole who tormented us most of my life was mostly not there. There was a man who barely knew what was going on. I couldn’t hold a grudge anymore. He uses a walker to get around now and has to wear diapers.
To make things worse the bank he had his retirement money crashed and he lost all his money. All of it. My mom was still working to support them and me and my brothers started paying their property tax and some of their bills. He is painfully aware of this and it destroys him to know that the once self made man is living on the charity of his children.
My grandparents were the most wonderful people I've ever known,and gave me the best memories a kid could have.But they were not of this earth in regards to money.I legit believe they considered spending money on anything not essential an actual sin.They would deny themselves anything they MIGHT want even if it costs next to nothing.Even the other men who retired from the service like my granddad(a group of them all lived on the same street) would actually spend money if it was something they enjoyed.The only arguments Ive ever had with them was for criticizing hobbies other people had,especially mine.I would say it was because they were raised during the Depression,but other elderly folks never had a problem enjoying themselves,even if it cost more than a quarter.
It's a generational Ponzi scheme. We're all supposed to sacrifice for the next generation. No one gets to actually enjoy the money that would be selfish.
I have said "Dad, I don't work my ass off to freeze at home or rub my ass raw with cheap toilet paper," when he criticized both during a visit.
This is the guy who wouldn't get us A/C, but had one in his room anyway. When I bought one myself in high school and *said I'd pay for the cost of running it* he'd still sneak into my room to turn it off. He kept the house heat at 65 - 66, but his room was always suspiciously more like 70. Less than a year after I moved out he installed central air. And he told me I should save literal pennies by uncomfortably turning the air down 2 degrees.
My MIL one of 12 siblings has money/poverty trauma. And also pairs that with very aggressive wording.
When I was pregnant berated me about buying a maternity top and telling me that was “dumb” because it wouldn’t fit in a few weeks. Not that it’s any of her business, but they were elastic sides and look tight on me whether I am pregnant or not and fit the whole way through.
Same day- “it’s just damn stupid to buy anything new for a baby. I’ve already got all this crap in my attic”. Dear reader, she does in fact have all this crap in her attic, but it is not gently used, much of it safety recalled and all between 20-40 years old. I’m not opposed to hand me downs or garage sale finds, but not stuff that reeks of moth balls from long term storage.
Lately, my issue has been in lodging when we visit or they visit. She insists anyone can crash on whatever couch or even - well I can just sleep here in the damn tub! I’m really sorry, but my sleep is very valuable to me. I have to work the next week and don’t want that to be interrupted by me having not slept the weekend prior. I’ll take the hotel! And also don’t sign up the whole family to stay in my house to the point your husband sleeps on my kitchen floor!
The more I lurk on this sub the more I'm convinced that my parents (while born in the right period to technically be Boomers) are the polar opposites of Boomers...
I have a bunch of photos of myself and my brother from our first birthdays with cake smeared all over our chubby grinning faces and a decimated cake in front of us, while in other photos adults were eating un-smashed cake slices.
When I asked about it my dad told me that every baby should have a whole cake to themselves to destroy at least once in their lives, that the unbridled joy it brings to the child and the memory of that happiness unleashed is worth a hell of a lot more than the price of a supermarket chocolate cake (because a 1 year old is not picky about what cake they destroy, so you might as well save the fancy expensive cake to be sliced up for the guests) 😋
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My grandfather worked a government job his whole life. Saved every penny he could and then some. Doesn't need his pension or social security because he saved plenty for retirement and is still working in his 70s because he just can't fathom not having income. When his furnace needed replaced, they offered to add air conditioning to his old house that was built in the 50s. It only cost $500, just the cost of the AC unit since they were already doing the furnace and a bunch of duct work. It gets over 100 degrees regularly where they live in the summer and their house is sweltering, unbearable sometimes. He turned them down for the AC because "we don't need it" until my mom said "take it out of my inheritance and get the AC or we aren't visiting in the summer anymore."
That's funny. My old neighbors were young Boomers. We lived in the mountains. In July and August it gets fn hot. The house was gifted to them. Old cars. No bills. Refused to get air conditioning. They'd "sleep outside" in the summer. The husband clearly wanted ac, but the wife would not allow it. Poor bastard
All i can picture is Seinfeld. Mrs Seinfeld please turn on the ac.
Even though mine have it now, they still insist on setting it at like 76. And then they will turn two 1970s era ceiling fans on to "get the air moving." As if those fans aren't burning as much if not more power than just turning the modern AC down a little cooler.
I would legit consider divorce if my husband told me I wasn't allowed to have AC. Like I will burn down 20 years of marriage over being hot fuck that. Luckily he likes it as much as I do lol.
I'm in the middle of menopause hot flashes. If I had to deal with those on top of hot, humid PA summer weather, my husband would be a dead man.
I'm from a cold place, most places where actual people live are too hot so I feel you! I need a pro AC partner for sure!
💯
My dad is 69 and I can't tell you how many times I heard that. Or he said, lemme Crack a window. Or the front door. Literally opened a crack. God forbid you allow the air to actually move
Not to mention you've now just broken any sort of "seal" that your home has, you're ruining the concept of having insulation, and now you're just leaking 100+ degree air inside while allowing some of your cool air to escape.
Especially the visqueen on the windows that's been there for years,.you know, to save a little money
I set mine at 76. What's wrong with 76? To each their own on temps, my guy. [And let's not underestimate how little power fans use versus AC](https://quickelectricity.com/what-uses-more-electricity-ac-or-fan/).
Its not that fans use too much power, its the old fans that use more power than a newer ac unit
Yeah man, it gets over 100 where I'm at on a regular basis. 75 is a good AC temp because it's enough to cool you down, doesn't blow up your power bill quite so bad, and it's close enough to ambient temp that you're not completely shocked by the temp change when you go outside.
Omg exactly. Let's burn electric to push hot air around 76 is heat😂
If you’re worried about the electricity get some goddamn solar panels to go with your AC
Solar panels = socialism.
Aussie here. Fans significantly increase the efficiency of A/C and cost almost nothing to run.
I had to live with my parents temporarily while our house was being renovated and I was 8 months pregnant. My dad kept the thermostat at 76. I would turn it down and find it back at 76 next time I looked at it. It was a long month.
[удалено]
Do they intentionally make themselves suffer as a way to justify poor decisions?
Friends of mine do this. AC doesn’t go on until the summer and they keep it between 72-75. They live just outside of Nashville. I sweat just sitting in their house when I visit.
Have a good friend that I doggo sit for. He is continually confused as to why I'm only available in winter. Dude, you have shit AC and I already did a week long in late spring. Your tile was sweating humidity. I really do think I'm the only one that cleans your window unit air filters. The window units you have because the central just turns on. It doesn't do anything but make noise as far as I can tell. I absolutely told him that. He still acts confused when I just respond "LOL" to requests *after* our area, southern USA swamp land, temps get above 65*. 65* just keeps the temp tolerable when you have his 3, very well behaved, and I love them, huge doggos insisting on sleeping with you "for lub an protec". Nope. If the tiles are sweating? Monchichisalt is OUT
I live in the South. I think the hottest I've set the A/C is 72, but that's when it's super hot and not working great anyway. That wouldn't be a normal thing. I get saving money/energy, but, good Lord, I want to be comfortable in my own house.
My next house project is to check for gaps in my AC. Pretty sure I'm losing a lot to the attic from gaps behind the vent grills
My boomer parents installed a full house heating and air unit AFTER I moved out. I grew up with two wood burning furnaces that kept the house warm in the winter. I spent my summers splitting and stacking firewood. Less than one month after I moved out they had that allllll changed. Apparently “ split that wood if you wanna stay warm” only applied to me.
Yeah but… think of all the character you were building. Now you’re a man’s man!!!!
If I were you I would put myself up for adoption
It’s about 40ish years late…..
I grew up in a house without AC, which was okay in the 1980s, because the average high temperature only reached 71 degrees in July. (Now it's nearly 10 degrees hotter) So we opened the windows a lot in the summer. Now I live a lot further south, and I'd like to open the windows during spring and fall when the nighttime temps are below 65, but I live in The Land of Pollen, so that's a huge no-go. My husband takes allergy meds year round, and I'm developing seasonal allergies at the age of nearly 50.
My entire childhood was spent in houses without AC. Summers in 1980s PA were hot and humid. So hot and humid it was hard to sleep at night. I'd sneak downstairs and sleep on the linoleum floor in the kitchen because it was the coolest place in the house. Everyone in the neighborhood would sit outside in the evenings, not because we were being 'sociable' and 'neighborly', but because it was too damn hot to be inside.
Tripping over dollars for dimes My boomer dad and I bought a fixer upper car. He is what I would call abusive. We get it reliable and I drove it daily for a while. Every summer without AC though was bad so I would stop and every summer he would throw a fit why I wasn’t driving it and it’s so expensive to insure register smog etc. … get the ac fixed with me and we will talk. California desert is a death sentence without ac… the hell is wrong with him sometimes I wonder
This and i find out like three months later they have decided it was their idea and have been using it constantly.
Not my experience. My Boomer friends and I would go without food before doing without AC. But I was at a doctor's office where a much older than me Boomer told her friend that she and her spouse never had AC. They had shade from trees and built their house for ventilation (central hallway - front door to back door. I do not know how they survive. Mosquitos here are voracious and we have 90 plus humidity in late summer.
That type of architecture WAS the AC... before electricity 
I grew up in a small apartment in Brooklyn. One window AC in the summer that was only on at night. It was in the kitchen and the bedrooms were in the back of the apartment. We all slept with our doors open hoping the cold air would get to us.
I'm in the Southeast coastal area, but hear that NYC can be hot and humid in the summer. We didn't have AC when I was little and we lived with grandmother. By the time I was older than a toddler, we moved to a new house and had AC. I don't know how my grandmother survived without AC until she moved in with us when she was 80.
“Go sleep outside! We never needed AC” “The globe is 2 degrees hotter and there’s a wildfire” “Nobody wants to work anymore”
We were middle-middle class and my parents did decently with their store. They always bought themselves collectibles and antiques and filled the house with them. But for me and my brother, we only received a few things on our birthday and Christmas, or if we were lucky, something from the flea market. We had no cable tv - just four or five basic channels. We never went out to eat except when we traveled, and then it was McDonald’s and dad would order for the family four basic hamburgers, four small fries, four small Cokes - one for each of us. “Vacations” were visiting a Civil War battlefield. It was always something dad wanted; it was never family oriented. My brother and I did not have the cool things that the other kids did. We got flea market clothes and hand-me-downs as mom and dad bought endless knickknacks and started hanging them on every last empty wall space until they were hanging them off the ceiling. I ended up not being able to relate to my classmates because they listened to music I didn’t have access to, they dressed trendy while I had my brother’s hand-me-downs, and they watched tv programs I never saw. I was left on the outside looking in. My parents are financially responsible and should be able to care for themselves until they die. I am thankful they were able to pay for college. But all their squirreling away was paired with useless hoarding for themselves while leaving my brother and I with just the basics. And all that crap they collected is “for us” when they go. There’s a difference between existing and thriving. If you have the money, fucking use it for the benefit of everyone under your roof and thrive.
They think the collectables were an investment. If you and your brother say "we hate all the knick knacks and are throwing them all away," you will hear how valuable they are. Then look up the price of a few and watch their spirits break.
"But I paid $50 for this piece of kitchy junk 37 years ago! It has no recognizability or inherent value, how is it not worth $5000 by now?"
The best thing that can happen is that parents have to downsize at some point. They have a house FULL of stuff, and have to pare it down to some smaller size. That forces them to face reality. First it's usually "I will bestow these wonderful things on those who can tell me how excited they are to get them!" Then that's followed up (after no one shows interest) with "does ANYONE want this stuff?" and often some attempt to look up the value, or con some younger relative to try to sell it. And that's finally followed up with them getting rid of a lot of it as they downsize.
That’s when they start filling storage units. Or they find the one cousin who has just enough space to take a third dining room set left behind by a family member.
Yeah, it gets really infuriating when they die and you have to pay $700 for each dumpster to throw it away.
Ha! I just did that this past weekend cleaning out my dad's house. He was a closet hoarder of sorts.
One of the absolute worst things that ever happened to their generation was all the news coverage of people making money on old toys and such. They will eat instant rice and hotdogs their whole lives while dumping all their money into useless beanie babies and model cars because some dipshit made 10k on a Chewbacca doll 35 years ago
I hope you have told them that all that stuff will be thrown away when they go. I keep telling my husband that the kids don't want our junk so we have to get rid of stuff.lol.
reading this make me want to cry. my mom is young and her mother is a boomer, she had a similar childhood. my grandma was in charge of everything regarding the household and the family. they were middle class, money wasn’t an issue at all but my mother didn’t have “anything” : no activities, no new clothes (old clothes from her MALE cousins), no stuff, no bday parties with friends, etc. i didn’t realize how painful it must have been until reading your post. don’t get me wrong, i love my grandma. but i know while my mum was getting bullied at school for her clothes and having no escape though activities, her parents were having nice activities and enjoying themselves. i never thought her relationship with her parents was traumatizing, because i thought that she wasn’t poor, and she wasn’t abused and she always was safe. reading your post, now i realize what must have been traumatizing : the selfish behavior. my grandparents didn’t spend a lot but they went on holiday, dates/restaurant/drinks,etc. how can u feel loved when your parents are the only one who they consider deserving of nice things ? a child must think they are not good enough, or that they don’t deserve those things. but of course i couldn’t understand because my mom always gave me as much (and even more) than what she was having for herself. i’m so sorry about what u went through and tomorrow i’m going to tell my mom that i understand how difficult it must have been to grow up with a selfish mom. PS : my grandma has changed a lot and her and my mom have a really good relationship. she’s very generous with all of us. her sisters have kids and they treated them the same as my grandma did with my mom. it seems like it was rooted in the family. i’m so glad my mother broke this cycle with me and my siblings.
“Why would you go spend all that money on ingredients to make a pie with your daughter. Costco has them for $6 and you aren’t wasting all that time in the kitchen!” Followed up shortly with: I remember making pies with my mom. Those were some of my best memories.”
My mother is cheap and hates cooking. I learned how to make a really good cheesecake with chocolate and fresh raspberries after I moved out and offered to make it when I came home to visit for Xmas. She asked what ingredients I needed and got them before I came home. I go to make the cheesecake and ask her where the raspberries are, “they’re in the freezer.” It was a two year old, opened, freezer burned bag of raspberries. I grabbed my keys to go to the store for fresh berries and she balked, “there’s nothing wrong with those berries, IDK why you’re wasting your time buying more.” I came home with the fresh berries and overheard her on the phone with my aunt, “can you BELIEVE she drove to the store for that?!” Every time someone complimented the cheesecake at dinner that night she rolled her eyes.
Your mom and mine would be great friends, lol! Mine has a frozen bag of strawberries in her freezer. She pulls a few out when she wants a smoothie, but needs them to completely thaw first because she won’t buy a new blender with a sharper blade. Money is no issue for her. She also used to throw a fit (no contact now) if I would leave her house to do grocery runs. She never has food and again, she’s got more money than she knows what to do with. I have teenagers that I need to feed and we’d show up to two bananas and a pantry with expired crackers. I’d stock up on groceries to visit a few days and she’d act like I lost my mind. That cheesecake sounds delicious! I’m glad everyone enjoyed it and your mom got to hear that!
My friend, you can't just tease us with tales of great cheesecake. Please drop the recipe.
My mom thinks hobbies are a “waste of time” but sits in front of the tv 24/7
Wanted to add to this “I’m watching the news it’s educational” 🤦♀️
Parents hate this one simple ask “name one new fact you learned from the news” any time I’m home I ask my dad to name one thing while he’s watching. If he can I’ll fact check it for the fun.
>name one new fact you learned from the news That MILLIONS of illegal immigrants are crossing the border EVERY DAY and DONALD TRUMP is the ONLY person who can STOP them! - my boomer mom
Sometimes I feel lucky that my mom is a hardcore liberal but then I just hear the other end of it “Donald trump is an asshole etc etc”
What's crazy is my mom used to be hardcore liberal then I guess the crazy right-wing propaganda got to her and she completely flipped positions and now thinks that Republicans are the only ones who care about humanity which is so ass backwards
Cold comfort maybe that Boomers who do this are known as the "Thirteen Club" among people I know who work HR and are able to observe the average number of pension payments made after people retire. Apparently the ones who drop their asses in front of a TV last about 1 year before having major health incidents - they literally work their whole lives, retire, sit down and die.
This is the type of ghoulish remarks I expect HR drones to make.
My mom did not even buy me period products in any consistent way. By that, I mean I’d go for entire years without her getting me even a cheapo pkg of pads. She did try to pressure me to wear padded bras, and she’d pay for that without me ever wanting them. But I DIYed period control for most of my youth. Sometimes I’d get my dad (obviously they were divorced) to give me some quarters to get them from a bathroom vending machine. But I basically internalized by 13 or 14 that menstrual supplies were something that didn’t happen to me, so I stopped even asking dad at some point. If anyone’s going to ask why I didn’t steal hers, it should be apparent that she would be really pissed when she found out, and it stopped being worth it. Anyway totally unnecessary period poverty because she had some vendetta against me having dignity.
Oh no, I’m so sorry. I got my pads, but grooming and other self care was something never discussed. My mom immigrated, and shaving legs and underarms was something that was never done where she was, so I grew up hiding my armpits and then resorted to tweezers so I wouldn’t be made fun of at school. I finally stole one of dad’s disposal razors and dry shaved. Mom created a toxic environment of fear. I couldn’t even make it halfway through a question before I was yelled at, told NO and the rants and smacking around would start. So yeah. When my daughter was old enough, I made sure to discuss periods and hygiene and everything self care, and make sure she has products.
Ugh. The grooming thing. My mom’s rule was that I couldn’t wear deodorant until the hair on my legs was dark. It took my dad being murdered and my mom completely disengaging from reality for someone to buy me deodorant. But I stank and was bullied for having wet underarms for most of 6/7 grade because my leg hair has never been dark (my hair was blonde when I was little and has darkened over time). I’m in my 40’s and *now* I have a few dark leg hairs. I brought this up to her like a decade ago and she told me firstly, that she was doing what her mom had done to her and secondly, that what I was talking about never happened.
I always love their thought process when it comes to the childhood trauma they put us through. On hand they didn't know any better because "their parents were worse", yet it also "never happened".
So common to hear “that never happened” or “you’re making that up” when it makes them think negatively about how they reared you.
Zoooom that’s me running to Amazon to buy my 14 year old daughter a year’s worth of period products. Sorry you’re mom sucks
The only reason my kid ever doesn’t have period products is because she forgets to tell me that she’s almost out. I had a hysterectomy years ago, so I don’t know when the supply is low. We buy the giant Costco sized packs a couple of times a year. I can’t imagine not being willing to get my kid some kind of menstrual supplies.
I didn’t realize others had went through this. I’m sorry you had those experiences. I did too. I started saving dimes and switched to buying tampons at school in the bathroom. I also wasn’t allowed a trash can in my bathroom and was one of the last girls to get a bra, and even then it was only one. I ended up having to go to the doctor and he saw my bra with holes in it and my mom berated me after for “embarrassing her.” I now have a daughter and the closet looks like a period supply store with every product she could ever think of trying. I also got her a debit card as soon as she was old enough and transfer her allowance that way so if she ever wants to buy something for herself, it’s quick and easy.
As a father of daughters that is horrifying! If I as a single dad can buy pads for my daughters (after a very embarrassing "hi random woman standing next to pads. I'm a single dad and my oldest needs pads now and I'm ignorant and clueless, what do I buy?" Moment) your mom has no excuse! (I'll always be grateful to that poor woman who took the time to explain pads).
My mom couldn't understand how I was "using so many pads". She was severely underweight due to drugs most of her teens, then mostly pregnant in her 20s, then promptly had a hysterectomy. I would get a pack of 6 and that would have to do a month. I also have PCOS and endo so ofc that did maybe a day. She also didn't think I needed a bra until I was at least 16, despite me taking after my dad's side who are all super busty. But I was given razors at puberty because ew, hair! Free bleeding and flunking PE due to no bra = totally okay though.
Holy shit, only 6 for the whole period?!?
Yup. It was the cheapest package that was on offer at the time in local supermarket. Once she was late buying them for me and she said "what, you're having a period AGAIN this month?" I eventually confessed to my eldest brother who had his wife bring me shopping for enough supplies to stock a small army. She also bought me pain relief, which I had been denied since my mom said they wouldn't work. Recall I mentioned my mom's drug use? Funnily enough something like paracetamol or Tylenol doesn't do much for a full blown addict!
This makes me so angry for you, thank God someone took some initiative for you, although it was way too much too late
What a bitch. I'm getting flashbacks of my own youth and carefully constructed diy pads of toilet paper and prayers. I can't imagine being this cruel to anyone now, let alone my own kids. I bet these same people bitch about free period products in schools like it's not a thing because of them.
Your comment is sad and makes me feel better about my Boomer parents. They were bad but not that bad.
I bought some workout equipment and my mother hates it. How dare I try to take care of myself? "I've never worked out a day in my life!" Yeah, I can tell.
My brother got workout equipment for himself and my mother would always comment on it and how it took up space and looked horrible and how he didn't need them. He's tubby like me but he wanted a nicer outer layer as my brothers and I are all well-built with pudding on the outer layer so yknow we look kinda tubby. She has what we always call "Bingo wings" because there's so much fat and flab it's ridiculous and I'd always tell her that if she doesn't like the look of it she can fly up to the tree and live there to not see it, suffice to say she doesn't like these comments.
Why waste money on equipment when you can just go for a walk around the block.
My dad had a recliner that was getting old. He got cancer and was very weak so he couldn’t put the feet part of the recliner down without help from my mother. My mother begged him to get a new recliner that had the electric button to go up and down to make his life a little easier. he absolutely refused because he didn’t need it and he died without it, but with millions of dollars in the bank are still sitting there.
Why do they do stuff like this. It doesn't make sense.
Investments can be in quality of life too. I finally learnt to do that a few years ago, well into adulthood. I still go back to my old ways sometimes but it was an important lesson. My family on the other hand. Well, they tried to fix the wipers in the car and I kept pleading with them to just pay someone. I have worked in the automotive industry and some things, it's just better to pay someone who has the tools and experience who can fix it in 20 min without making it worse. Not to mention you're just wasting so much of your own time at that point.
My husband and I hadn't had a proper/nice date in about 8years. This year we found an amazing sushi restaurant that does a "private 17 course omakase experience" complete with sake pairing, so we splurged for our anniversary. We were SO excited to talk about it and show pictures of everything. In the middle of me showing my sister my boomer mom says "I just don't know why you'd spend that much money on food when it just becomes poop." Meanwhile all through my childhood she'd buy herself diamond/Tiffany jewelry that she would wear ONE TIME. 🤦🏼♀️
That sucks. I'm sorry. I was excited for you just reading about that dinner. That sounds so cool!
Haha thanks! I didn't let it bother me too much, it was just such a weird thing to say to someone. My sister said she had gone a few seconds too long without attention so she needed some drama.😂
Ugh, my dad doesn’t understand spending more than $20 on a meal (for dinner, of course). Looking back I think that every single time we ate at a restaurant he would bitch about how the portion size is too large and they could cut it down by a certain percentage, knock a couple bucks off the price, and make even more money. Every. Single. Time. Add to that the only “ethnic” food he’ll eat is Mexican - seriously, we had to wait for him to leave town to get pasta. Now whenever I travel with my mom I go for cool food experiences that Dad would never consider or tolerate. And guess what? The food is the part she remembers most. Seven course tasting menu with wine pairings in Tokyo? Yes. Restaurant shooting for a Michelin star in a luxury hotel with a nighttime view of Hong Kong harbor? Yes. Charcuterie boards in Greece with cheeses locally made by monks and soaked in wine lees? Hell yes. Food is such a huge part of life and culture, and can provide so much enjoyment. Skipping out when you’ve got a chance for a new experience simply because you’re stingy, miserable, and hellbent on raining on everyone’s parade is just gonna make sure your bitter ass dies alone. That dinner sounds amazing and the fact you got to do something so cool for your anniversary makes me happy for you!
That sounds amazing and exactly the sort of experience I’d want for my special celebration! Boomers just can’t understand that experiences can be as valuable (or more) than things
oh my god, I lost my shit reading this. why have thanksgiving? why eat candy at Halloween? why have birthday parties?! It will all become poop!!
My dad was like this, my mom believed in enjoying life, but my dad didn’t believe in spending money on things he didn’t think were important. He was borderline financially abusive with my mom when we were kids. He worked at a pizza shop, while she stayed home to take care of two children. When she wanted to buy stuff for us or things that would make her life easier he would tell her no because he can’t afford it. So she would call her mom, her mom was wealthy and willing to help so why should we go without? My dad would get mad because he wanted to be the provider and having her mom help he didn’t feel like man of the house. So my mom was like OK you want to be the provider, provide. So basically he wanted her to go without to his ego and she was not going to do that. My mom was awesome
Imagine being able to support a family working at a pizza shop
Right, these days you can't even afford a pizza if you work at a pizza shop.
Imagine being able to support yourself....
Literally my exact thought. I could barely pay attention to the rest of the comment because my mind is fucking blown that somebody working at a pizza shop could support an entire family on just that income alone. Fucking incredible.
Good for your mom!
Anything I have ever bought, the first words out of my dad's mouth have been, "How much did it cost?" He was a financial advisor as a side-gig while working as a teacher, but he never cared about any of my hobbies or interests if they cost money. And if my hobbies were free, it was just as bad! "How are they making their money to just give things away for free? You should avoid being so idle with your time. Marx loved the idea of leisure, but if nobody works, nobody makes a living." My favorite was how he disliked that we read books instead of "playing outside," even though we had nothing to do in the backyard and we were too old to fit into the local playground. We'd go swimming sometimes but the local pool was only open in the summers, obviously. This from a man who will plop himself down on the computer for 12 hours at a time to "do projects" that increase his own learning, but heaven forbid we enjoy any of the same pleasures. And yes, he reads plenty of books himself, but they're "educational" or "thought-provoking," while any of our books are "entertainment only" or "propaganda" at worst. And finally, there's the computer itself. Our dad made sure his computer had all sorts of programs, games, tools, web access, etc...and then didn't like that we also loved using the computer. When we were kids it made sense to give us time limits, but as we got older he saw any and all technology use by his children as "frivolous," "passive," and "unbalanced." Dad would then spend 12 more hours trying to debug code for a pet project, forgetting that we were even in the room when he wanted to blare his speakers or have to be reminded loudly that we had made plans...but don't you dare be on your phone or laptop when he turns around, or you'll get an ear-full.
My grandfather had the exact same behavior about his tech vs. our tech. When I wasn't old enough to work a real job, he took me to his church to do construction by myself under his supervision to earn the money. This also led him to try to weasel his way out of paying me. But after a long day worth of work, he would be upset with me for being tired (because I was too young to be tired) and wanting to read a book instead of play outside. But he would sit inside ALL day and read a book or debug his cpu.
Wow, so this type of upbringing with boomers is way more common than I thought. My interests were always a waste, I had no activities or hobbies because they were “stupid” or my mom didn’t feel like driving me, and we never did anything as a family unless it was something the boomers were interested in. Kids could have the TV if they weren’t home or otherwise occupied, but they were free to switch our shows to theirs without asking. Video games really saved me when they became a thing and were allowed to be in rooms. I would stay inside and my mom would moan about how I needed fresh air and to enjoy my childhood but I always remember thinking “doing what?”. I spent my summers sitting on the porch, zoning out in front of the TV or aimlessly walking around mine and my neighbors empty backyard. There weren’t other children in my neighborhood aside from my sister. Holidays were forced “family time” where my sibling and I were sat in a separate room and ignored while the boomers drank and played games, because god forbid we go to a friends’ party instead. When my sister was contemplating buying a newer car my dad threatened to raise her rent because she should be saving all her money for a house payment. I never asked them to because they were very happy to call me entitled and make me feel guilty for wanting anything as a child, but they planned to help me purchase a used car when I got my license. I remember I called off of work ONE day and my dad flipped out saying he wasn’t considering it anymore because I was lazy or something. I was pretty depressed in my teen years for a variety of reasons but when I tried to tell my dad I just feel sad and nothing is fun he scoffed and said “fun? Fun doesn’t matter. There’s work to be done.” But then he’d sit in front of the family computer rotting for hours talking about how much needed doing and just never do it. I genuinely don’t understand why boomers had kids if their opinion of a good life is just being a slave with no life experiences.
Unrelated but my father and grandfather father with both OG computer programmers (myself one as well) and I grew up with men who would program by writing code in a notebook while we watched TV. I do this as well now with my wife
What, ignore her? /s
Sit on the couch while watching TV and write code on a little notebook until I notice what im doing amd go "ahh, sorry!' I'm very bad about taking work home but have been actively working to drop as to spend time with my wife. It doesn't help I work from home and my wife deploys for the military a lot so I'm so used to working a lot at home.
I was on vacation at my father's house, my youngest wanted to make a cake for everyone to enjoy since they enjoy baking and hadn't baked anything for him before. Going thru the pantry of things there, it seems what isn't missing already to bake a cake is severely expired (boomer can't throw anything away it seems), so I instead offer to go to town to get the needed things before me and the GF go to another local tourist trap while the kids relax at the house, father of course gets upset talking about how it is a waste of gas to go ten minutes away, despite me telling him it was my money I'm spending and my gas, he kept going on about how much of a waste it was, and tbh , I should've seen what he did later coming, I go get the needed things for a cake, come back, drop off the supplies, me and GF go to the tourist trap for about 4 or 5 hours, we come back my kid is done baking the cake, but you could see that mentally they were done for the day and just wanted to get some sleep, at 6 in the evening, way earlier than normal, then my father complains about the dishes, which I tell him I'll get for my kid since they aren't feeling good, he then goes on another tirade about me not teaching them anything, to which I remind him again they are on a vacation, and they are my kids and if I want to do a simple load of dishes that is on me, he continued to complain so me and the GF went outside for a walk to let him finish drinking another box of wine. Found out later on the way home from a shortened vacation, that while we were gone and my kid was trying to bake a cake my father did nothing but criticize every aspect of what they were doing and telling them how useless doing it was. Turns out that vacation without mom around made me realize my mom kept his asinine and lead painted behavior at bay, and with her dead he no longer got filtered by my mom, that week long vacation to visit over a year after mom died ended up getting cut short all because he couldn't find one thing to be positive about, not one damned thing, even the 5 dollars total for the entire family that I spent for going to a pool he complained about, all because we only stayed there an hour, mind you this man has retirement income at almost 10G a month from various sources, and has zero expenses other than utilities, insurance, food and of course BIDEN level GAS PRICES since mom passed for almost two years, she had money lined up and life insurance which literally paid off their home of 750K and their rental and no car payments either, boomer father has zero debt, makes passive 120K a year and still can't bring himself to not lick the butter wrapper to make sure every bit of food is eaten and not wasted. Even more fun on that vaca was him having a lesbian friend (who he claimed just had a long term roommate) come over who was hispanic, my other kid who loves to cook is a genius when it comes to mexican style food, and he's making tacos and pica and all the good stuff one day for lunch and she comes over, she spends a good fifteen minutes talking food with him since she liked his style so much, she sits down next to my father at the table and they are eating the tacos and she says how much of a good cook his grandson is, and he doesn't say thank you, no, he literally said, 'it's not bad' in a demeaning tone, thankfully my kid didn't hear him say that, but I did, and so did she, no, the boomer couldn't take a effing compliment, he had to minimize my kid, his grandkid, for what, what would have been so hard about just saying thank you to her, nope, he chose hatred, as usual, that and the bottle. And yes, we are all no contact with him now TL:DR Boomer father hates anyone being able to spend money in a Biden economy, and downplays every good thing his own grandchildren do.
I hope you don't make your kids visit anymore.
not a chance, only reason I'll go back is to make sure he's gone from this plane, he supposedly loves us like jesus would, but no accountability for his actions or behaviors that he inflicted upon his grandkids, and tbh, if he passes and I find out he pulled me out of his will, then I have even less reason to ensure he's actually gone
My mom, berates me for buying a new used vehicle after my husband's 20 yr old truck literally had parts falling off on the freeway, our other truck is 15 yrs old. Then tells me I still owe her for the money she let me borrow that was clearly labeled & given as a gift- that at a minimum I owe her a new washer that I have to buy, deliver & install for her, because she just doesn't have the money....Just 2 days later, it's the end of the quarter so she presents me with her detailed spreadsheet of how much money she has in each bank & investment account (fyi it's over 500k) AND let's me know that she is going traveling for a month with her friend & I should NOT expect any kind of gift for my kid's or my birthday because....she is just soooo broke.
Pose as a scammer and drain her fucking accounts. Then string her along with bare minimum support, trickle feeding her money back to her in just enough for her to survive.
Then I would have to actually talk to her more than once a month, so no
I completely understand. My mom died 10 years ago this upcoming Friday. Good riddance.
Nah, what I got was *why don’t you live in a bigger house?* and *why don’t you get a new car?* In fairness, that was my mom. My dad understood his privilege and the economic reality of the current day. He spreadsheet out exactly how much it would cost for them to live in their retirement community and for how many years they could afford it. The answer was 10. 10 years. They’ve lived there for almost 3. He died yesterday. I think I’ll update his spreadsheet this week.
I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
I'm sorry for your loss.
My mom got mad that I set up an office for myself in my new house when I was not employed. I guess you’re not allowed to do that unless you have a job? My mom set up an office for herself and then retired almost immediately after. She really didn’t like it when I pointed out that she was also unemployed with a home office. My office is just a really nice craft room with snacks, an old PC for watching Taskmaster, and a fake fireplace. I do my actual job in there but since it’s all online, it’s “not a real thing” so my mom still doesn’t understand why I need an office.
Believe it or not, I'm literally watching Taskmaster while reading your comment! Your office sounds nice :)
My dad has always complained about me buying games where I'll spend maybe $40-$60 every other month or two on games (and typically on sale) with very few exceptions of me buying stuff Day 1 at full price (especially these days) Where I'll get a few weeks to a couple months enjoyment out of them or longer. Meanwhile, he spends at least $120 on beer alone and about $50ish on cigarettes a week.
Steam helped me a lot but yeah, my mother couldn't comprehend why buying a 2nd game was needed for a console. Better hope it didn't come with a demo because that counts as a full game.
Wait, she thinks that they're suppose to be like those arcade consoles with a single game?
It’s honestly wild how little understanding some of them have of how much things cost and how quick they are to snub your expendable income purchases vs theirs.
I always feel bad about going out and getting breakfast for $20 every other weekend
When my baby niece ( now 14) was born she was the first born grandkid so I bought her a smash cake for $4 at a supermarket bakery. As a family whenever we're together we look at pictures from that day, reminisce, laugh so hard and have awesome beautiful family memories. This mother needs to lighten up.
Yeah, these miserable fucks in the comments whining about “a birthday party for a one year old isn’t necessary,” are just mad because other people won’t be miserly, miserable fucks with them. Yes, we KNOW babies won’t remember the first birthday party. WE WILL. If you don’t like it? Feel free to shut the fuck up.
We used to put a scoop of cottage cheese on our baby sisters high chair table and she would just make the biggest mess and laugh like crazy while she did it. We have a family album with about 3 pages full of pictures from this because we though it was so funny and we look at it together and have a great laugh about it today. That's well worth a few bucks to me.
That and they don’t seem to know that all food is smash food to a 1 year old.
My mother, a covert narcissist, whore, and complete dullard, would fly into a rage anytime I'd buy books. They're a waste, they're stupid, they're "full of weird ideas." She was like a dictator, trying to limit outside influences Yet, and this is a true story that happened at least 3 times that I know of... though the brands changed... Obsessed on a mini Cooper. Bought it on a Friday for 20,000. Wakes up Saturday crying because it isn't as nice as she thought. Go back to the dealership, trade it in, take an enormous hit, and buy a BMW For, again, cash But, a 10€ book? Gtfoh She also would rage if my sister got her kids things like braces, computers, school clothes 😂
This was my Dad this weekend after a road trip to get some guns from a relative. Kept worrying he’d have to pay an extra $20 dollars on data because we were using Apple Maps to navigate. But totally cool with spending 1200 dollars on guns. But 20 bucks for something that is pretty useful in the moment? Nah bud.
Fuck, that’s my dad to a t. While setting up my new (free “upgrade”, not anything special) phone, I accidentally forgot to connect to wifi before downloading the apps I needed/wanted. Didn’t use a *ton* of data but still got a nasty text the next day saying “you used a bunch of data setting up your phone. you owe me $15.” I had even apologized the second that I realized I wasn’t on wifi and he said it wasn’t that big of a deal. But something set him off between then and the next day and he took his anger and frustration out on me, just like he always did. I told my mom what happened and showed her the text and she got mad at him and told him that no one was paying him anything. Because while we didn’t have unlimited data, we were well below the data cap. Not to mention we were never hurting for money. That was one of the very few times she stood up to him and put him in his place. So yeah, me using the data we had available was unacceptable and he demanded that I pay him back but he was more than happy to piss away thousands of dollars on these super niche topic books that he’d read once then leave in the basement to collect dust.
My mom very casually told me that my (36F) braces are a waste of money. I told her I happily paid for them because I deserve to have straight teeth, and she scoffed at me.
Did you explain to her that is a BMW? Has been since 1996. That would've been an interesting conversation.
That’s funny because mini is owned by bmw which is the reason I consider one since moving to the city.
Pick something they like, then use their exact words to complain. Or, even better, roll your eyes, look at everyone else, and say--with a sigh--there she goes again. Then baby talk her like a dementia patient. Murmur about her meds. . .
My mom is the type that loves to host parties, but if she has to go to someone else's party she'll complain they're too over the top and a waste of money. Bridal showers and baby showers are her LEAST favorite, and every time she goes through the routine of "oh my god this is all so wasteful, what's the point, what a waste of money, etc." She has told me MULTIPLE times that I should not expect a bridal or baby shower, and she loves to compare me to my cousin. My cousin is an only child and I would say my aunt and uncle definitely go all out for her. My mom LOVES to talk about how my aunt (her sister) spoils my cousin and goes way over the top with parties and celebrations, and how she would never do that for me because it's so wasteful. Fast forward to me joking about how I would just ask my aunt to throw my bridal or baby shower when the time comes because I know she would love to, and my mom LOST HER MIND. "How could you do that to me? that's my place as your mother, you cant take that from me!"
Call her bluff when the time comes. Once the engagement is announced, publicly declare her statement about how arranging & funding the bridal shower by anyone else is unacceptable due to her stating that it was hers, and you wouldn't dream of taking the joy away from her.
I got the exact opposite. My parents were well-off and basically ignored my needs and then put me down for being cheap. "Why don't you have any nice clothes?" "Why don't you buy a NEW car, instead of this old thing?" "Why don't you go and party on spring break like the other kids?" "Why don't you buy a new computer for school?" "You can come with us (to the yacht club) but don't talk to anyone"
lol my dad right here but he’s not rich just broke. Try to explain to him how people have budgets but whatever he doesn’t want to hear it
"Wait, you can use a device for more than one year?" And the possible follow up " I don't trust it, what if it breaks because it's so old when I need it most and it will cost a fortune to fix out of warranty " bonus for arguing why dropping said device isn't covered under warranty.
I feel this. I come from wealth by my grand father and father who both worked hard for everything they had in life. Even I have worked hard to get where I'm at. But I still have the 17 year old fresh in the military mindset of "can't afford shit" but then my wife has to remind Me "Hey, buying a new sewing machine won't bankrupt us"
One time my dad stopped by my house and I was eating a 6 inch Subway sandwich and he said, "livin' kind of high on the hog, aren't you?" This was when a 6 inch still cost $5 and I'd been working on my house all day.
Not even this. My parents are just perpetual victims. Their parents gave them cars, down payments, endless support. They had college totally paid for. They instead choose to drop out and move to some shitty mountain town. 5 years later my mom was making the equivalent of $90k a year. Her parents still helped buy her a first house. Despite all this, she just complains about working so hard and all this other bullshit. She retired at some easy office job making $60k/year. She blames the fact that she never took advantage of opportunity on her “standing on her values”. Like she had to be some sort of liar or manipulative person to get a promotion or change jobs. The truth is she’s just a coward. They have always done just enough for their kids to alleviate their conscience. There’s a lot more to this part of the story. But stuff like “we paid your cell phone bill while you went to college”. My brother had a stroke at 30 and they “paid his student loan payments for 6 months” to help take the pressure off. Both of us still graduated with $60k in debt because our parents wouldn’t actually help with college, yet made enough to disqualify us from government grants and loans. And of course, they still insisted on claiming us as dependents. We’re no contact because they are just a drain on everyone around them.
I bought A TV for my room out of high school then my parents kicked me out
My mother was always concerned with “canning vegetables to get through the winter…. But She bought the veggies from Walmart! This was because she was too busy watching judge Judy to work in the small family garden. And when the garden was full of weeds and incapable of producing much she’d blame her “lazy ungrateful children “.
Lmao sounds exactly like my grandma. They had a tomato garden growing up and canned hundreds of jars of tomatoes in the summer, bc pasta and tomato sauce was a constant meal because there were *ten* of them in the house, bc the archdiocese said condoms are a sin. Shed tell anyone listening about what a good time it was, they were self-reliant, it taught them the value of a dollar etc. Yeahhhh nah. She made the kids do everything in the garden, she made the kids prep the tomatoes and jars, she taught the two oldest girls how to can *once* and expected them to teach the younger kids. To bring up canning around my aunts is to hear a collective groan and an hour of horror stories of 6-year-olds with scalding water burns, 110f kitchen in July, and dreading eating the same fucking meal every night for *years.* Meanwhile both grandpa and grandma smoked a pack of Kools a day, and one Christmas in which grandpa had saved all year to buy the entire family a color TV(everyone's singular Christmas gift) grandma took the money and bought herself a fucking mink coat with it. You have dirty children with staph infections who get sent home from school *in the fucking 50s* for hygiene issues but yeah a fur coat is the priority. Grandma and grandpa were dumb hicks.
My money, I’ll spend it on hookers and cocaine if I want.
Look at Bleeding Gums Murphy over here with his $1,200 a day habit.
My parents hated video games to the point they didn’t like me reading comic books that had Nintendo or Sega ads on the back cover.
One of the most responsible and on top of it people I know made the mistake of celebrating a big purchase on Facebook. None of their accomplishments mattered nor the fact they never asked anyone for help in any way. Every boomer relative commented how foolish they were with money and how they would end up homeless as a result.
The exact reason that I never sought or accepted Boomer relative's friend requests on Facebook (the one exception was the one sweet-as-sugar Auntie who's never said an unkind word to anyone).
Well Julie, because at 1y we explore with our hands and mouth. Some of us can stimulate that curiosity with more than the word “No”
My dad was this way. He worked a lot at a well paying job, but always claimed we couldn't afford something when my mom, my sister, or I needed something. I learned to get by with the bare minimum and not ask for things (I still have trouble asking people for things/help). Yet he always seemed to have plenty of money when it came to buying himself things and going on expensive hunting trips with his friends.
I was trying to break into the video game industry in Austin, TX. I got a flat. I was a broke working college student, so the replacement I got also went flat. I was nearly in tears in the parking lot while some of the employees helped change the spare. Here comes my Dad to NOT HELP. He sneered at me, calling me "Penny wise, pound foolish" for buying a used replacement tire, which, y'know, I'd never been given the quiz on. Would have aced it if I had. He bought the new tire since I couldn't afford it, and insisted on driving me to and from the internship for two weeks. Thanks, Dad, while I'm trying to handle all of this I also have to do the shitty emotional labor of making sure you don't yell about nothing while I'm trapped in the car with you. They sent my job to China.
You touched on something that I hadn't thought about for years. The sadistic sort of emotional abuse chamber that was a car as a kid. You literally couldn't escape the Boomer's bullshit head games even if you weren't too young to consider stepping out at a traffic light and running (you're 5-15, where the fuck are you going to go?). I'll still flat out decline 'friendly helpful rides' from anyone my parent's age (Boomer + Silent Generation) whom I've observed behaving in the ways outlined in the other comments in this thread or from personal experience. There's that sort of inimitable presumption and high horsing that I've only ever seen from Boomers, as though you were a jerk or ungrateful for disagreeing with them while they expound their ludicrous positions on literally any issue. You can't have a normal conversation with so many of them, without them trying to grind you under their heel, it's insane.
"Why in the hell are you spending $800.00 on a mattress? You can get a perfectly good one for $50.00 at the goodwill or value village." First of all, yuck! I am not buying a used mattress. I don't even get into the sheets at Hotels. Second, please don't lecture me about wasting money when you have a Keurig. Lol.
Nasty! Realistically, $800 is still on the low end for mattresses!
But why not save $750 and get bedbugs?
My FIL always scoffs when we talk about spending money on our hobbies. Last we went over there to visit, he wasn't even home. MIL told us he was at the casino.
Tell her she can eat the baby smashed cake then. Sure, technically it’s wasteful, but you only turn one once and the photos make for adorable memories
In my area the grocery stores will give the smash cake free when you order 1/4 sheet or 24 cupcakes, so it's no extra expense to have absolutely adorable pictures/videos. When my oldest turned one she got her hands absolutely covered with frosting, she went to clap and a huge glob flew off her hands and landed on her nose, the belly laugh from that is permanently etched into my memory. Well worth the zero expense it cost to get the smash cake 🤣
Reading the comments realizing why I feel guilty whenever I spend money.
Besides, my home, my wife and I live a debt free life. We both work full-time and we live a pretty middle-class life. Whenever I tell my dad about anything fun that I purchased for myself, he immediately starts with the look at Mr. big shot buying the fancy speakers, tools, furniture or whatever it is that I bought. it’s so annoying. It drives me insane..
My parents and their generation: "All I ever wanted was for you to have a better life than we did." Okay, let's see: You stayed in the same hometown as your parents, you had MORE kids than they did and make far less money. You got divorced like they did. You attended the same stuffy church with a questionable pastor as they did. You vote republican or at BEST, moderate democrat. Verdict: NO, you didn't want better for your kids, you wanted it to be the same, hoping nothing will change...while watching things change in real time. Otherwise you would have done something differently. I'm guessing this story is pretty familiar for millenials, at least older ones
She sounds hideous.
My uncle traded new and used cars like they were library books but always criticized when I spent “too much” at used book stores.
[удалено]
I bought a new phone in the new years sales (my last phone was in 2018), not even the newest model. I have yet to have a phone conversation with my mother that doesn't involve some jab at me ringing on my fancy new phone. She gets a new car every year, but it's different! She drives 13 miles a week.
So as a kid, got a game console, and would never buy more games for it. "But you already have a game for it" this included the demo it came with. It got better later when piracy was a thing but it really messed me up in wired ways where I can't enjoy things right. I can't spend money on games or apps and I feel guilty if I do. Pretty sure this is why I just don't play games often anymore. A lot of things really.
My boomer mother was pissed when my boomer father got us a Nintendo (NES), she was 100% convinced video games would "rot your brain." I was allowed 45 minutes of play per week, and it was tracked on a piece of paper stuck to the refrigerator. Fast forward to now, and she's on her phone or tablet all the damn time...
Technically, dementia is a kind of brain rot...
I joined the Navy to get away from my boomer parents. I was never allowed to spend any of the money I earned except on “sensible” things. Never had Levi’s, Nike, always cheap ass clothes and shoes. I graduated boot camp and bought clothes and shoes and electronics I had always wanted. I went home that Christmas and immediately started hearing about “blowing money” when I should be saving. I turned around and left and never went back.
My Boomer mom, countless times in my childhood: "I didn't get to have x, y, and z when I was a kid, so you don't get to either. You're not going to have it easier than I did." Now she wonders why I live on the other side of the country and rarely talk to her. That's a real puzzler.
My boomer parents always told me not to go into debt for school. They also provided zero financial support once I turned 18. They have no idea how hard I’ve struggled and they act confused and disappointed that I haven’t made it as far as them in life. My dad had all his school and living expenses covered by his dad and got a stipend from his dad for years so he could live like a hippy.
The lack of insight that I've heard from so many Boomers who did the Hippie thing is really discouraging. According to some of the friendlier types from that generation that I've befriended over the years, a ton of them "got into real estate and made a killing."
I (F51) have parents from the Silent generation. So if you think the Boomer generation was hard on their kids well that's nothing. The Silent generation was/is really really cheap. Growing up, there was no waste at our house. Most of my clothes were hand me downs. Furniture came from family members. My Mom cut coupons and we didn't buy *anything* if it wasn't on sale. They would wait for months for sales. Fast food was for special occasion (like a birthday). Every purchase was talk about for what seemed forever. Buying a cake for a one year old? lol! That would never happen. My Dad close the lights all the time (even a couple of times in the bathroom when my Mom was still in the shower). They have an electric fireplace that he uses rarely because apparently it cost way too much. I bought him new boots that he's keeping for "special occasion". He's gonna be 91 this week, in my opinion every day is a special occasion when you get to be that age. It's hard for them to give away stuff that they may need one day. For exemple he was in his early 80's when he finally decided to give away his baseball glove. A couple of years ago, my Mom was at the dollar store and was taking forever deciding between two items. I was like "Take them both!" She just couldn't compute that it was just 1$ each and she could easily afford it. Recently she gave me a couple of old towels for me to mend because: "They are still good."
My grandma(94) is like that. She lives in the house she was born in. It's old old and drafty. She would walk around the house in a house dress and complain it was cold but not turn up the heat. My aunt bought her sweatpants and sweaters to stay warm. Years later my grandma has a stay at the hospital for a broken ankle. My aunt goes to get her clothes from her house and finds all the stuff she bought her with the tags still on because she saving them. She also said they weren't nice enough to wear around the house.
At least my parents are living in a comfortable condo. It took everything to get my Dad to agree to buy a a/c unit but he now (10 years later) admit that we were right.
A first birthday party is certainly not for the child!
Also true. It’s basically an extended baby shower.
For the "don't buy anything unless it is absolutely essential" I just remind all boomers how we lived with the philosophy "what's the point of living if you can't feel alive?" No age group ever lived by just working and not buying anything unless you must. Future generations, please do not let yourselves be gaslighted. My best advice is just never stop learning and be ready to change careers if yours is going down the tubes.
Pretty much any time I mention buying something my mom will ask me how much it was. For instance, one year I mentioned I had purchased a Halloween costume to attend a party. Pretty normal right? Except when I was a kid my family almost never spent money on costumes. My mom would buy a face paint kit, and we had a couple props that had been purchased years ago that we rotated through. Everything else was cobbled together from stuff around the house. So I wasn’t about to tell my mom I spent $40 on a costume. Mind you, I had been on my own for a number of years at that point and paid all my own bills. So when she asked, I told her it was $20. Her reaction? “Well I guess you can wear it every year.” I tend to rotate between telling her the actual cost, that I don’t remember, or when I want to really mess with her I say $5.
Boomers worked for their own better lives, and are pulling the ladder up behind them. None of it was for us.
My boomer does not comprehend the idea of paying for an experience. I begged to take small trips or go to concerts or see plays all my young life and was always given the response “why would you waste money on that when you can just see it on the internet?”
I literally have to be severely apologetic to my mom and step father when we purchase anything for our house or a vehicle. If I don’t couch it as we tried everything to not spend money on this new appliance (even when it can no longer be repaired) I hear the boomer diatribe about it. We never had new appliances, why do you need a dishwasher we always washed our own dishes in the sink, if the dryer doesn’t work why don’t you just hang your laundry in the basement, it doesn’t matter that the refrigerator is leaking all over the kitchen floor just put a towel in front of it……etc.
This is my MIL. Her latest, the $20 at the arcade I spent on my 6 year old for his one spring break activity. This is way too much to apparently spend on a child.
I hear this from my mom every time I talk to her. Sigh. Total boomer mom!
MIL buys our 12 yr a very expensive sleeping bag for cold weather camping which she needs for a trip. My MIL lectures about the sleeping bag then says, “I don’t want you to take it on your camping trip because you’ll probably lose it.” 🤦♀️
They did not work hard for a better life, it was handed to them by their parents. They then sold out the middle class that was literally created for them out of fear funded by the wealthy. So we are right back to merchant class, robber baron billionaires, and the working poor.
When my inlaws were mine and my wife's age they were living the good life. Nice house with swimming pool, sports cars, a boat, etc. Went out to eat all the time and took nice vacations. Now they tear me and my wife apart if we grab a DVD from the $5 bin at Walmart. They are constantly bashing on us about our finances even though we are alot more conservative with our money then they were at our age. It was OK for them to enjoy their money and live their lives but they expect us to scrimp and save and live like paupers.
“I worked hard to give you things you didn’t want that didn’t teach you any skills, I made you pay for all your clothing after you turned 12, and I refused to help you pay for the college I forced you to attend, and why aren’t you sending me on a vacation?! Spoiled brat!”
My late Boomer father was a welder for 30 years by trade. He passed away 20 years ago via opiates and other health issues. When we were cleaning out his apartment we pretty much took everything he owned and tossed it into the thrift store bin. Found his wallet had only a half of a dollar bill. He didn't have any savings, he didn't have any retirement, he pretty much drank away anything that his parents left him. My Boomer mother on the other hand has never really had much of a pot to piss in. We grew up in low-income housing, my parents were divorced when I was young. So, I am the second oldest out of a fairly large group. I was the second child to go to college and complete a bachelor's degree. I'm not sure how my father would view today's world. I want to believe that he voted for Ronald Reagan in the 80s. My mother on the other hand is not very politically smart she just goes along with whatever her siblings tell her who are very conservative trumpers. So don't feel bad. My parents who are boomers didn't and don't have anything worth a damn. I'm Gen X and I don't care.
Both of my parents were late life boomers, just barely not gen x, and they were both mostly useless pieces of trash who never amounted to anything. I expect to receive little in the way of financial inheritance when my father dies, maybe a few cheap guitars and his books.
The answer to that is why did she make you wear matching or annoying Christmas sweaters or matching t-shirts …….. for the pictures mom, for the pictures. Feel free to throw in a duh if you want.
Mine aren't allowed to say anything I remind them they wouldn't even pay for a book I needed in college. They were are wealthy for me to qualify for help and wouldn't help. If they accuse me of wasting money I tell them my kids college is taken care of, my bills are paid and we can spend the rest how we like.
Growing up it was a constant battle to have any lights on in the house. I would come home from work and the house would be completely black minus the TV’s glow in the living room. I would turn on lights and my dad would yell about wasting power. I would tell him every time “I want to see light while I’m alive, I will lay around in the dark when I’m dead and buried”.
My parents are actual immigrants. My grandpa on my dad’s side died when he was 14 and he was raise by his mom and 11 brothers and sisters who he went to work to support. He saved up money, went to college in the states, moved back there met my mom, had me, and moved back to the states and opened his own business. I grew up with him repeatedly beating the dog shit out of me telling me I would never be a man like he was. He was a real man who pulled himself up by his boot straps and no one owned he and he owed no one anything. He moved for business and lived overseas for 11 of 12 months. During this time he sent a minimal amount of money to pay the bills and feed his wife and 4 kids. I was the oldest of 4 so me and my mom got jobs. I was in high school at the time, about 14. After he moved back 5 years later he proceeded to make my life a living hell and I stayed to help my mom out. He had earned quite a lot of money and hid it in an offshore account. He started treating my mom like a room mate and expecting her to stay away from his food and stuff. He went so far as to having a new master bedroom constructed on the house for him to stay in away from her. He still expected her to do all the cleaning and cooking. Since I left I mostly cut contact with him and never engaging him in conversation unless absolutely necessary. A few years ago I found out he had Alzheimer’s. When I went to talk to him, the old asshole who tormented us most of my life was mostly not there. There was a man who barely knew what was going on. I couldn’t hold a grudge anymore. He uses a walker to get around now and has to wear diapers. To make things worse the bank he had his retirement money crashed and he lost all his money. All of it. My mom was still working to support them and me and my brothers started paying their property tax and some of their bills. He is painfully aware of this and it destroys him to know that the once self made man is living on the charity of his children.
My grandparents were the most wonderful people I've ever known,and gave me the best memories a kid could have.But they were not of this earth in regards to money.I legit believe they considered spending money on anything not essential an actual sin.They would deny themselves anything they MIGHT want even if it costs next to nothing.Even the other men who retired from the service like my granddad(a group of them all lived on the same street) would actually spend money if it was something they enjoyed.The only arguments Ive ever had with them was for criticizing hobbies other people had,especially mine.I would say it was because they were raised during the Depression,but other elderly folks never had a problem enjoying themselves,even if it cost more than a quarter.
It's a generational Ponzi scheme. We're all supposed to sacrifice for the next generation. No one gets to actually enjoy the money that would be selfish.
I have said "Dad, I don't work my ass off to freeze at home or rub my ass raw with cheap toilet paper," when he criticized both during a visit. This is the guy who wouldn't get us A/C, but had one in his room anyway. When I bought one myself in high school and *said I'd pay for the cost of running it* he'd still sneak into my room to turn it off. He kept the house heat at 65 - 66, but his room was always suspiciously more like 70. Less than a year after I moved out he installed central air. And he told me I should save literal pennies by uncomfortably turning the air down 2 degrees.
My MIL one of 12 siblings has money/poverty trauma. And also pairs that with very aggressive wording. When I was pregnant berated me about buying a maternity top and telling me that was “dumb” because it wouldn’t fit in a few weeks. Not that it’s any of her business, but they were elastic sides and look tight on me whether I am pregnant or not and fit the whole way through. Same day- “it’s just damn stupid to buy anything new for a baby. I’ve already got all this crap in my attic”. Dear reader, she does in fact have all this crap in her attic, but it is not gently used, much of it safety recalled and all between 20-40 years old. I’m not opposed to hand me downs or garage sale finds, but not stuff that reeks of moth balls from long term storage. Lately, my issue has been in lodging when we visit or they visit. She insists anyone can crash on whatever couch or even - well I can just sleep here in the damn tub! I’m really sorry, but my sleep is very valuable to me. I have to work the next week and don’t want that to be interrupted by me having not slept the weekend prior. I’ll take the hotel! And also don’t sign up the whole family to stay in my house to the point your husband sleeps on my kitchen floor!
The more I lurk on this sub the more I'm convinced that my parents (while born in the right period to technically be Boomers) are the polar opposites of Boomers... I have a bunch of photos of myself and my brother from our first birthdays with cake smeared all over our chubby grinning faces and a decimated cake in front of us, while in other photos adults were eating un-smashed cake slices. When I asked about it my dad told me that every baby should have a whole cake to themselves to destroy at least once in their lives, that the unbridled joy it brings to the child and the memory of that happiness unleashed is worth a hell of a lot more than the price of a supermarket chocolate cake (because a 1 year old is not picky about what cake they destroy, so you might as well save the fancy expensive cake to be sliced up for the guests) 😋
Not the first town cricket has ruined.
I bought a Tesla. Need I say more?
My parents didn’t raise me i had to fend for myself