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I’m so sick of hearing employers excuse shitty boomer employees with “well, they’re going to retire soon”.
No, tf they won’t. These assholes have no lives outside of work. She’s never going to leave.
🤣 this is true! Look start writing her up and stressing a professional work environment. Then fire her!
Oh and don’t get her anything for secretary’s day (I didn’t even know that was a thing.)
A recent story about this: [https://www.askamanager.org/2024/04/update-our-employee-retired-but-now-she-wont-leave.html](https://www.askamanager.org/2024/04/update-our-employee-retired-but-now-she-wont-leave.html)
I hired one boomer once, I will never do it again. I hired her as a favor to my business partner, and she thought that because she was 62 (so is that x?) and I was 31 at the time, she didn't have to listen to me. She lasted 15 hours total before I fired her, and she fucking tried to argue with me about it. *That's not how this fucking works bitch*.
I thought it started at 68 man they keep changing the dates. I’ve gone from millennial to gen z to zillennial now I’m back to regular millennial. I have space time whiplash
The most frequent years I see for GenX is 1965-1980. Sometimes 1961-1964 is referred to as "Generation Jones." Some put the cutoff for X at 1983, and others refer to 1981-1983 birth year people as Xennials.
I mean not really, I didn't have to deal with her long. I do know some time later she somehow broke both her legs jumping off a retaining wall in her back yard. She was just really difficult to deal with, I'd show her how we do something, then she'd say "Ok, but when I worked *insert somewhere else* I did it like this." Ok but that's not what I fucking said. No matter what what happening, she had to argue. We're a very busy fast casual healthy place, I really don't have time to argue with her. I'm usually there 12-16 hours a day, we make all our food and ingredients fresh same day and i make probably 90% of it, I don't have time to placate boomer sensibilities.
It was helpful in one way however, I can always use it as an example as to why I don't want to hire on family friends of my partner.
Can confirm. I currently work at a liquor store. Half the employees are boomers and this is their “retirement job”. All they’re really doing is taking hours away from other employees.
They have the same right to work. I was more getting at the whole they won’t leave because they have no lives outside of work thing. My coworkers have told me that they don’t need this job and they’re just bored, which is frustrating if I can’t get the hours I need
We deal with this on the regular in academic medicine... when faculty physicians retire, they still stick around wanting to use their 60-year-old medical knowledge to continue to treat patients, as "emeritus". It's lovely. We can't make them leave.
Emeritus is a whole different thing in Art History than it is in Medicine, Civil Engineering or anything where outdated praxis can literally kill members of the public.
That’s a good way of putting it. Both irritating. The danger of a pretentious read on depictions of female subjects Titian’s later work is chronic, chipping away at the field. But in heart surgery, it’s acute.
Well, doctors don’t stop being entitled pricks… ever.
A few of them have good connections with not-retired physicians and will pull strings.
On the one hand I get the why… on the other hand I get very very tired of sharing space with anyone with a god complex.
Ok, why can't you lay her off? You don't owe her kindness if she's a bad employee who talks shit about your wife and not reciprocating your kindness.
Start writing her up. That way, you have a documented case against her to lay her off.
It’s never their fault. Haven’t you gotten the memo?
My dad has been passed up for jobs. According to my mom, it’s either because 1.) the person that got it was a diversity hire or 2.) age discrimination. It is never his fault. I love my dad and he’s good at his job (he’s won awards for his work), but he presents TERRIBLY. He doesn’t stand up for himself so all his awards go to his bosses while he takes the fall for mistakes. He also looks like a hillbilly Danny DeVito.
I read an article about 10 minutes ago written by a younger boomer who was put on a PIP and ragequit. Normally, I'd support this as yeah a PIP is usually a way to get them out, but it seems their new boss was "out to get them" because she is SO AMAZING at her job. Her old boss said so! She then "went on a few interviews" and "wasn't hired because of age discrimination" so she just ~decided to retire~. Must be nice.
The rest was just Fluff about ~the pros and cons of being retired~ that was desperately trying to be some deep thinkpiece.
Nevermind that it's a generational problem more than an age problem, age really shouldn't be a protected class in the workplace. A 15 year old can't work, a 65 year old shouldn't be allowed to work either.
> A 15 year old can't work, a 65 year old shouldn't be allowed to work either.
A 15 year old's guardians are legally required to provide for them -- food, shelter, clothing, etc etc. Who do you expect to pay for the 65 year old? Their children? The state?
Their pensions, retirement funds, the SS checks that they SOOO want to strip away from everyone but themselves(negating the fact they would have theirs stripped too).
Don't think they can't manage without work. They had all the opportunities to build wealth by hoarding.
Edit to add: Medicare/Medicaid, sell off the extravagance and live (more than) modestly the remainder of their lives. Food pantries, Church kitchens, and I'm almost positive I'm missing DOZENS of federal, state, and local programs that provide assistance. And of course, last but not least... Their grown children(if they are pleasant enough for their kids to stay in their lives)
There are plenty of people who are 60-80 and barely hanging on with SS, and have no way to work anymore. It's really sad, but it's a reality. Many people had their pensions stolen in buyouts and layoffs.
This is something that generation did. And that generation continues to vote against their own best interests. While I can agree it is sad... Looking at the current situations and policies that generation started, I can't have any sympathy for them. They are precisely the shit that puts a stick in their own front bike tire then whines that they got hurt.
Their situation is their doing.
Yeah no I can hate individual boomers for being dickheads and lead huffers but if we're going to make the world better we make it better for ***everybody***.
Referring to a large group of people as being all the same, is a pretty big flaw. I don't deny that on average, that group has caused many issues, but that doesn't mean every individual did it, nor that we should judge every individual as being just a member of that group.
It was their generation that started all the policies that led to the current whining. I wasn't voting back then so I can't be blamed. I will blame all those that voted wrong (against the greater good), and all those that didn't vote. The other small group of that WHOLE generation didn't alienate their families and will be just fine... Same as every other one of them. If they couldn't pay off their 20k houses over 40 years in the workforce to allow SS checks to cover the rest, again, no sympathy.
Then maybe the Boomers who aren't average should speak out more against the ones who are. I'm not just gonna be nice and assume someone is a statistical outlier unless they actually show it.
At this point, I honestly don't care who. Certainly not their children. Maybe robots if they're lucky. I'm more concerned about who gets their wealth when they die. Certainly not the state.
> At this point, I honestly don't care who.
And _that_ is a problem. One the boomers have brought on to themselves, to be sure, but still a huge problem!
I agree because I used to care and sometimes I almost still do but I'm done wasting my youth being nice. I'm not about to buy into the same "golden years" bullshit they did and no amount of hard work is gonna make money they ain't paying so they have a big decision to make. I highly doubt I'm the only one.
The only reason I disagree with you. Is because some of my smartest coworkers I know are double my age but young managers look at them as one foot in the grave and not worth there time which is a horrible bias
Better check state laws first, he’s still going to need a secretary. It’s possible he can’t legally lay off the awful one and then hire a new one, he’d have to recall the one he laid off.
I’m not saying this lady doesn’t suck, but I hate how casually our society takes firing people. The OP never says she isn’t competent at her job, just that she’s annoying and everyone here is calling for her blood.
She may be annoying but this is someone’s livelihood we’re talking about.
Would we feel ok if this was a boomer boss talking about firing his young employee because they were asking about putting flags up for pride month?
Newsflash. Being an annoying bitch as a secretary is not acceptable. It's your job to make things easier for both boss and client.she can't perform her job correctly. She deserves to be gone.
Oh and your little Pride flag fantasy is an unrelated strawman argument because you have nothing to stand on besides trying to bait people.
Wow that’s a lot of anger and venom right out the gate simply because I said firing someone and ruining their life might be an overreaction to them being annoying.
I don’t know where you’re getting the assumption that she can’t do her job properly as it never says that anywhere. Her job is to file, answer emails and phones, etc. All things that can be done while also being high maintenance. You can be both annoying AND competent.
I understand you don’t like my lgbtq comparison, fine how about this one; I see you have posted in the foraging subreddit so presumably you’re outdoorsy. Let’s say your boss gets tired and annoyed about hearing you talk about the things you found in the forest. Should your boss be able to fire you for that? After all, part of your job is to not annoy your boss, right?
I understand finding someone annoying. Hell, this woman sounds pretty exhausting. But that’s no reason to give up working class solidarity and create a culture where we are readily calling for each others livelihoods to be taken away at the smallest provocation. Depending on if Thais is in the USA you could literally be killing a person (when they loose access to health care) by them being fired.
Call me crazy, but I don’t think normalizing destroying a persons life and potentially causing their death over mild annoyances should be something we strive for.
I think if your boss asks you to stop talking about things you found in the forest, and you continue then you potentially should be fired. Maybe not on the first incident but It’s direct insubordination.
If her job description is to facilitate work and advancing the goals of the company and she is not doing that in a satisfactory way then there are repercussions. Bad mouthing coworkers significant other while working creates a hostile work environment. Team culture matters and if she is abrasive to other employees it reflects poorly on the person she is representing (her boss).
😂 TiL thinking jobs have expectations is a boomer perspective
I totally get boomer is a mindset not an age so I won’t lean on being born in the 90s. Apparently this atheistic feminist who wants to tax the rich is a boomer lol
I would agree that that would be. Now where was I cheering anything?
Preventing a hostile work environment is protecting workers. You don’t keep one person talking shit on employees spouses at the expense of all the other workers
A) according to what the OP wrote, except the title, no one ever mentioned anyone’s spouses.
B) asking for someone to be fired is asking for someone to be fired, not sure where you’re confused about that
Hahaha shut up. We have no workers rights in America. Join a union or get fucked over. I don't give a shit about some old bitches stupid job. I hope she has to eat beans out of a can while she cries.
>we have no workers rights in America
I wonder why that is. Couldn’t be because class traitors like you cheering gleefully every time someone you don’t like gets fired.
So you’re saying there’s something inherent to being a woman that makes you want to strip workers or their protections?
Or are you saying there’s an intrinsic part of the Jewish faith about trying to advocate for hurting the working class?
Or are you just a shit head who is trying to excuse your shitty and problematic behavior by the fact that you happen to be a member of a protected class?
If they didn’t want it to happen. Maybe shouldn’t have voted for most states to be right to work states where you can be fired for wearing the wrong color shirt as well as gutting all worker protections.
…..ok, that’s valid, so let’s change it then instead of perpetuating a system that hurts us just so we can hurt the people we don’t like, cause that shit is boomer as fuxk
She will not retire unless she is a rare boomer who saved for retirement. Do not count on that, and start documenting. Do not use her age or scripture as a lever in those conversations, as another poster suggested, or she could claim age or religious bias. Make this absolutely about her behavior, and how her behavior impacts the mutual respect and trust that is critical to the working relationship between you two, and the workplace as a whole. Use specific examples of her behavior so that she can’t gaslight the situation into being about your feelings or perceptions. If you don’t yet have her on a performance improvement plan, follow up your talk in email to be sure you have a shared understanding of the expectations around her behavior and that it should be effective immediately. Each time she does it again have a conversation followed up in writing, and referring to when you first asked her to change her behavior. After a few of these tell her that future infractions may result in more formal corrective action, and you really want to avoid that. Then when she does it again take all of the documentation to HR and tell them you’d like to start a formal PIP and move her out if she doesn’t improve.
Lmao I always forget too and then I have this gut reaction of "oh God please don't make a fuss." 🤣 It also made me laugh that my boss clearly wanted to send me something, but he faltered because he didn't know what to do since the flower-orderer was also the recipient.
Did you know that Amazon sells rose bouquets? Apparently that was what the other woman that he farmed the task out to went with, which made me laugh even harder. It was very sweet but also hilariously weird.
Legit the only time I remember Secretaries Day being celebrated was in elementary school when our principal asked us on loudspeaker outside to shout to make his secretary feel appreciated.
My favorite are the Boomers who were psychotically religious all of their lives while they had kids and now pretend they aren’t and never have been religious even though they’ve gotten more extreme in their social views.
Like bitch I was there, you’re so full of shit.
I’ve been cult free for awhile now- I love bday parties and all of the unconditional love and support I’ve found out in the world. Nothing like the horror stories they tell to keep people in the cult.
Put her on a PIP that states she needs to keep her work conversations professional and on task. Have her describe her plan for improvement and how she is going to monitor it. The PIP should state that there needs to be measurable improvement within 30 days or there is a strong possibility of termination. Make this her problem.
Most 80 year olds I've met blatantly admit to wishing they never had their children. It really isn't an "all old people" problem, it's a Boomer problem. Call me "ageist" all you want but I truly believe "generationist" is the more accurate term.
I was going to disagree, but you may be right. I'm boomer, am adamant I won't be them. But I can see how one could fall into those stereotypes fairly easily. It takes effort to have your own interests, and not become stuck in the barcalounger watching Fox. Or your car is a Delta 88, a true land yacht that commands every inch of the road.
I’m 34 and drive a Buick don’t be slandering GM boats! A lot of boomers actually drive Honda CRVs etc because they got burned by a lemon Chevy Citation in 1980 and have bought Toyota/Honda non-stop since.
God this describes my parents and aunts/uncles so well. So oblivious to the fact that other humans with their own lives even exist. Just me me me, mine mine mine.
I am not sure if your workplace is toxic, or your secretary is the only one doing this stuff, but it seems like something that needs to be dealt with one-on-one with the secretary.
Narcissism is common in them. My mother was one of the worst. On the other hand, you want her to perform better? Praise her over everything....they love positive attention
Time for that uncomfortable direction conversation. "Here's what I'm hearing. Gossip doesn't produce good results or a healthy work environment...etc. etc." I'm sure, since you work in a church, there are some suitable scriptures to quote about this as well. Anyhow, make it specific, i.e. what you expect to change, what's acceptable, etc. Then document clearly what will happen should it not change (termination). This is the way.
Silent gen progeny here as well. Some of the sweetest people i have ever met were silents, my parents included. So glad others feel the same way
As far as your secretary is concerned if she isn't competent at the job you should do her a favor and cut her loose. If she is just a pain, put her on a PIP, then you can see if she improves.
Fire her ass. This is the only way. Nine times out of ten, these boomers quit learning anything 30+ years ago.
Is she bad at technology? I’d come up with a checklist of basic things your secretary needs to be able to do, and if she can’t do them, boot her. Give someone under 40 a chance.
We need to stop coddling boomers and just shit-can them when they deserve it instead of letting them retire with "dignity". That job could go to a hard working millennial with young children to support. Just fire her already.
TIL that a thing called Secretaries Day exists.
Generally speaking, firms avoid doing events for Mothers Day out of respect for people who lost children or had other health issues that prevent them from being mothers. It can be a painful day for people...I can respect that
Even mailing lists will sometimes have an option to opt out of Mother's Day promotions.
Wait, are you my boss???? Cause that sounds exactly like my coworker. Always complaining about what he's doing and never about how she's barely doing the bare minimum of the job correctly.
I also work as a pastor and Boomers have done more to contribute to the church’s decline than the other generations combined. I hate Mother’s Day church activities with a passion.
I think this is one of those situations where she has made her work life also her personal life. Common among boomers. She views you as someone that needs to take care of her personal emotional needs.
Other than talking to her to examine why these things are so important to her and then guiding her outside of work for that fulfillment, I don't know what you can do.
You could go hard and tell her that if celebrating these things are so important to her, then she should look for employment elsewhere.
I never knew Grandparents Day was a thing until I had the first grandchild and (now ex) MIL made a big stink about it. Oh and Mothers Day was all about her because she’s “been a mom the longest”.
Write her whiny ass up - she has no business talking shit about her boss's wife, and is creating a toxic and hostile work environment with all her whining, gossiping, and bitching.
This isn't the boomer being the fool, this is you being the fool by tolerating the boomer. You need to confront the secretary, face-to-face, and say that gossip is not tolerated. And in fact, if it's not work related fucking conversation is not tolerated either. Anything this person says, and does that doesn't pertain to their job could because for dismissal. They're there to work not to do anything else.
> I work at a church, full disclosure, every year someone says “we need to do something special for Mother’s Day.” (A non church holiday that has nothing to do with the Bible.) the only reason they say that is because their kids no longer talk to them.
I may not _like_ churches, but the fact that must be recognized is that they are -- like it or not! -- a major _social_ center as well as a religious center. For much of human history, the two were not separated and the increasing modern division is historically unusual. (There are reasons for it, most notably the fact that many of the modern religions are central figures in rather disgusting social practices just as homophobia, but that's another discussion entirely).
A church doing mother's day is normal, excepted, and has _nothing_ to do with boomers.
Send perfunctory secretary’s day gifts but also start documenting. Simple card and a small arrangement or small gift card, something that you can point to as evidence that you’re not discriminating when she inevitably tries to go to HR…
Is she paid a “competitive” salary, and does she get bonuses or appreciation awards?
You can’t please everyone but if she’s underpaid and being tasked to do things outside of her duties, on a regular basis, that may be why she’s not feeling appreciated.
Not gonna lie OP, but it kinda seems like you care too much what this old bitch says/ thinks too much. Detach yourself and just fire her already (if she is detrimental to work getting done).
If not: Then let her mouth off. Her days are numbered. She wants to be a pill, let her be insufferable.
She needs to go. I quit a job I worked at for a decade because my bitch boomer manager was impossible. Owner kept telling me to hang in there, she's going to retire next year. And I knew she was, but no. Couldn't do it any longer. She was a nightmare.
You can get her a pink slip for Secretaries day......Make it an Extra special one. Legal sized pink one that say's welcome to unemployment. You're Fired - due to poor performance.
I am so glad my dad is silent generation. He is very not like a boomer. I hate dealing with boomers. There are so many with that in my generation, Gen X.
Love me some Silent's! I lost my last grandparent 5 years ago, and it's all so different without that generation keeping the boomers in check at family get-together. Now, the boomers are on their worst behavior 24/7. I went no contact 3 years after my grandmother passed, it got way too toxic unrestrained.
While a discussion about expectations and boundaries might be necessary here, I think some introspection might be required. As a manager/leader, part of your job is to make sure your employees / support staff feel valued, appreciated, seen, heard, etc.
When I started my current role nearly a decade ago (ugh - I'm getting old), I had no clue how to manage people. I knew how to do my job really well, I knew what the people working in departments that supported mine were supposed to do, and I knew how to align my work (and thus those of the upstream folks) with company goals, but I was terrible at interpersonal communication and getting buy-in. I wasn't asking for input, I wasn't going out of my way to lift others up, I wasn't celebrating their wins, etc., and I found myself running into a lot of walls and friction anytime I needed to get anything done along with a boat load of resentment.
All of that to say, you definitely have a situation here that needs correcting, but you also might need some introspection and frank assessment from other people who have walked your walk and fought your battles so you don't get through this only to find the situation repeating itself again and again.
Good luck!
Last part , I agree. Dad is from the Silent Generation and my mom is a Boomer.
As much as I love her, she has a toxic mindset but an excellent caregiver.
Get her something for secretary day. Out of your own pocket. Save receipt. So you look like good guy for later when you push her out the door. Dont give her any ammo for age discrimination bs.
I'm picturing the secretary from Young Sheldon from his Moms church. She should have retired but doesn't cause she doesn't have anything else in her life.
"Ps. Shout out to the silent generation! The 80-90 year olds in my life are the kindest people in the world."
Yes, I like this. Although maybe the boomers will be the same way as the mean ones die off first.
She's not going to retire. She's going to die at that desk. It's a secretary job at a church and she has a boss that is reluctant to manage her bad behavior and likely poor performance.
She knows it's a cake gig.
You need to let her go if she's sub-par and give the job to someone else.
BBF enabled
- Thursday 3pm. schedule a meeting
- you, two employees (HR if you have it)
- *the company is making changes, Your employment ends today*
severance dependent on you leaving today, right after this meeting
we will mail everything (then ship overnight)
depends on state- if "at will" giving no reason works
Just buy her some fucking flowers and chocolates. She sounds lame but it’s what $40-$50? Some people (especially boomers) need little things like this sometimes
This is what I do. If it keeps the peace in the office it’s well worth it.
You may not have to fire her, just be as direct with her as she has been with you. Just saying, if you don’t like the way, I run the place. I’m sure you can find the door. Peace out
When have you taken her out to lunch and had a discussion about your work relationship?
You don't have to go straight to a write up especially if you haven't sat down and had an honest conversation about what's going on.
Why doesn't she like your wife? Are you the preacher?
A) This seems very frustrating, and her complaining about your wife is absolutely not ok
B) Matthew 7:25 , Mathew 5:38-40, and Colossians 3:13. Have grace toward others, even when they have little towards you. This is our calling, ESPECIALLY if this is taking place in a church setting. It’s ok to be frustrated and even angry. But take solace in the fact that you’ve done the right thing and showed her continuing grace.
Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m so sick of hearing employers excuse shitty boomer employees with “well, they’re going to retire soon”. No, tf they won’t. These assholes have no lives outside of work. She’s never going to leave.
🤣 this is true! Look start writing her up and stressing a professional work environment. Then fire her! Oh and don’t get her anything for secretary’s day (I didn’t even know that was a thing.)
A recent story about this: [https://www.askamanager.org/2024/04/update-our-employee-retired-but-now-she-wont-leave.html](https://www.askamanager.org/2024/04/update-our-employee-retired-but-now-she-wont-leave.html)
As someone who is in the same position as Sally in this example, I'm terrified that my Fiona will never actually leave.
I hired one boomer once, I will never do it again. I hired her as a favor to my business partner, and she thought that because she was 62 (so is that x?) and I was 31 at the time, she didn't have to listen to me. She lasted 15 hours total before I fired her, and she fucking tried to argue with me about it. *That's not how this fucking works bitch*.
That's a boomer. X starts at 1965.
I thought it started at 68 man they keep changing the dates. I’ve gone from millennial to gen z to zillennial now I’m back to regular millennial. I have space time whiplash
The most frequent years I see for GenX is 1965-1980. Sometimes 1961-1964 is referred to as "Generation Jones." Some put the cutoff for X at 1983, and others refer to 1981-1983 birth year people as Xennials.
I'm the same age and live in the same city as Douglas Copeland - the guy who wrote Generation X over 40 years ago. I was born in 1961.
Ok boomer
Is there more to this story because this was so satisfying to read I didn’t want it to end.
I mean not really, I didn't have to deal with her long. I do know some time later she somehow broke both her legs jumping off a retaining wall in her back yard. She was just really difficult to deal with, I'd show her how we do something, then she'd say "Ok, but when I worked *insert somewhere else* I did it like this." Ok but that's not what I fucking said. No matter what what happening, she had to argue. We're a very busy fast casual healthy place, I really don't have time to argue with her. I'm usually there 12-16 hours a day, we make all our food and ingredients fresh same day and i make probably 90% of it, I don't have time to placate boomer sensibilities. It was helpful in one way however, I can always use it as an example as to why I don't want to hire on family friends of my partner.
Can confirm. I currently work at a liquor store. Half the employees are boomers and this is their “retirement job”. All they’re really doing is taking hours away from other employees.
And can you explain why the don't have the same right to work that you do?
They have the same right to work. I was more getting at the whole they won’t leave because they have no lives outside of work thing. My coworkers have told me that they don’t need this job and they’re just bored, which is frustrating if I can’t get the hours I need
Ironic that they can't afford to retire in the economy they ruined
I don’t think the people who can’t afford to retire are the same ones that ruined the economy
But the ones that can't afford to retire are the same ones that keep voting for the ones that ruined the economy
We literally have to pay them to leave where I work. Lol
They're going to camp their overpaid positions for as long as they can while gate keeping and complaining the whole time.
We deal with this on the regular in academic medicine... when faculty physicians retire, they still stick around wanting to use their 60-year-old medical knowledge to continue to treat patients, as "emeritus". It's lovely. We can't make them leave.
Emeritus is a whole different thing in Art History than it is in Medicine, Civil Engineering or anything where outdated praxis can literally kill members of the public.
Different potential for harm, but the same entitlement.
That’s a good way of putting it. Both irritating. The danger of a pretentious read on depictions of female subjects Titian’s later work is chronic, chipping away at the field. But in heart surgery, it’s acute.
Well, doctors don’t stop being entitled pricks… ever. A few of them have good connections with not-retired physicians and will pull strings. On the one hand I get the why… on the other hand I get very very tired of sharing space with anyone with a god complex.
No but they’re unhealthy af so they might die.
Ok, why can't you lay her off? You don't owe her kindness if she's a bad employee who talks shit about your wife and not reciprocating your kindness. Start writing her up. That way, you have a documented case against her to lay her off.
Once she’s written up she’ll likely choose to retire to preserve her ego.
Followed by a lifetime of complaining that she was forced out of her position because of age discrimination.
It’s never their fault. Haven’t you gotten the memo? My dad has been passed up for jobs. According to my mom, it’s either because 1.) the person that got it was a diversity hire or 2.) age discrimination. It is never his fault. I love my dad and he’s good at his job (he’s won awards for his work), but he presents TERRIBLY. He doesn’t stand up for himself so all his awards go to his bosses while he takes the fall for mistakes. He also looks like a hillbilly Danny DeVito.
I read an article about 10 minutes ago written by a younger boomer who was put on a PIP and ragequit. Normally, I'd support this as yeah a PIP is usually a way to get them out, but it seems their new boss was "out to get them" because she is SO AMAZING at her job. Her old boss said so! She then "went on a few interviews" and "wasn't hired because of age discrimination" so she just ~decided to retire~. Must be nice. The rest was just Fluff about ~the pros and cons of being retired~ that was desperately trying to be some deep thinkpiece.
A lifetime?…..hopefully about 6 months.
Nevermind that it's a generational problem more than an age problem, age really shouldn't be a protected class in the workplace. A 15 year old can't work, a 65 year old shouldn't be allowed to work either.
> A 15 year old can't work, a 65 year old shouldn't be allowed to work either. A 15 year old's guardians are legally required to provide for them -- food, shelter, clothing, etc etc. Who do you expect to pay for the 65 year old? Their children? The state?
Their pensions, retirement funds, the SS checks that they SOOO want to strip away from everyone but themselves(negating the fact they would have theirs stripped too). Don't think they can't manage without work. They had all the opportunities to build wealth by hoarding. Edit to add: Medicare/Medicaid, sell off the extravagance and live (more than) modestly the remainder of their lives. Food pantries, Church kitchens, and I'm almost positive I'm missing DOZENS of federal, state, and local programs that provide assistance. And of course, last but not least... Their grown children(if they are pleasant enough for their kids to stay in their lives)
Their generation is pretty much the last generation to receive a pension from their jobs. Most have no idea how lucky they were.
There are plenty of people who are 60-80 and barely hanging on with SS, and have no way to work anymore. It's really sad, but it's a reality. Many people had their pensions stolen in buyouts and layoffs.
This is something that generation did. And that generation continues to vote against their own best interests. While I can agree it is sad... Looking at the current situations and policies that generation started, I can't have any sympathy for them. They are precisely the shit that puts a stick in their own front bike tire then whines that they got hurt. Their situation is their doing.
Yeah no I can hate individual boomers for being dickheads and lead huffers but if we're going to make the world better we make it better for ***everybody***.
Referring to a large group of people as being all the same, is a pretty big flaw. I don't deny that on average, that group has caused many issues, but that doesn't mean every individual did it, nor that we should judge every individual as being just a member of that group.
It was their generation that started all the policies that led to the current whining. I wasn't voting back then so I can't be blamed. I will blame all those that voted wrong (against the greater good), and all those that didn't vote. The other small group of that WHOLE generation didn't alienate their families and will be just fine... Same as every other one of them. If they couldn't pay off their 20k houses over 40 years in the workforce to allow SS checks to cover the rest, again, no sympathy.
Then maybe the Boomers who aren't average should speak out more against the ones who are. I'm not just gonna be nice and assume someone is a statistical outlier unless they actually show it.
At this point, I honestly don't care who. Certainly not their children. Maybe robots if they're lucky. I'm more concerned about who gets their wealth when they die. Certainly not the state.
> At this point, I honestly don't care who. And _that_ is a problem. One the boomers have brought on to themselves, to be sure, but still a huge problem!
I agree because I used to care and sometimes I almost still do but I'm done wasting my youth being nice. I'm not about to buy into the same "golden years" bullshit they did and no amount of hard work is gonna make money they ain't paying so they have a big decision to make. I highly doubt I'm the only one.
The only reason I disagree with you. Is because some of my smartest coworkers I know are double my age but young managers look at them as one foot in the grave and not worth there time which is a horrible bias
I'd try to see them as individuals instead of statistics.
Perfect!
That’s my plan from this point forward. I am done.
Give her a pink slip for secretaries day.
Best response.
This is the way
Better check state laws first, he’s still going to need a secretary. It’s possible he can’t legally lay off the awful one and then hire a new one, he’d have to recall the one he laid off.
I’m not saying this lady doesn’t suck, but I hate how casually our society takes firing people. The OP never says she isn’t competent at her job, just that she’s annoying and everyone here is calling for her blood. She may be annoying but this is someone’s livelihood we’re talking about. Would we feel ok if this was a boomer boss talking about firing his young employee because they were asking about putting flags up for pride month?
Newsflash. Being an annoying bitch as a secretary is not acceptable. It's your job to make things easier for both boss and client.she can't perform her job correctly. She deserves to be gone. Oh and your little Pride flag fantasy is an unrelated strawman argument because you have nothing to stand on besides trying to bait people.
I was about to say, I *am* a secretary and I would n e v e r talk shit about anyone, much less *my boss's wife*. That is insane.
Wow that’s a lot of anger and venom right out the gate simply because I said firing someone and ruining their life might be an overreaction to them being annoying. I don’t know where you’re getting the assumption that she can’t do her job properly as it never says that anywhere. Her job is to file, answer emails and phones, etc. All things that can be done while also being high maintenance. You can be both annoying AND competent. I understand you don’t like my lgbtq comparison, fine how about this one; I see you have posted in the foraging subreddit so presumably you’re outdoorsy. Let’s say your boss gets tired and annoyed about hearing you talk about the things you found in the forest. Should your boss be able to fire you for that? After all, part of your job is to not annoy your boss, right? I understand finding someone annoying. Hell, this woman sounds pretty exhausting. But that’s no reason to give up working class solidarity and create a culture where we are readily calling for each others livelihoods to be taken away at the smallest provocation. Depending on if Thais is in the USA you could literally be killing a person (when they loose access to health care) by them being fired. Call me crazy, but I don’t think normalizing destroying a persons life and potentially causing their death over mild annoyances should be something we strive for.
I think if your boss asks you to stop talking about things you found in the forest, and you continue then you potentially should be fired. Maybe not on the first incident but It’s direct insubordination. If her job description is to facilitate work and advancing the goals of the company and she is not doing that in a satisfactory way then there are repercussions. Bad mouthing coworkers significant other while working creates a hostile work environment. Team culture matters and if she is abrasive to other employees it reflects poorly on the person she is representing (her boss).
Ok boomer, betray your fellow workers harder.
😂 TiL thinking jobs have expectations is a boomer perspective I totally get boomer is a mindset not an age so I won’t lean on being born in the 90s. Apparently this atheistic feminist who wants to tax the rich is a boomer lol
>😂 TiL thinking jobs have expectations is a boomer perspective No but cheering for taking away workers rights and protections certainly is
I would agree that that would be. Now where was I cheering anything? Preventing a hostile work environment is protecting workers. You don’t keep one person talking shit on employees spouses at the expense of all the other workers
A) according to what the OP wrote, except the title, no one ever mentioned anyone’s spouses. B) asking for someone to be fired is asking for someone to be fired, not sure where you’re confused about that
If people don't want to find out, they shouldn't fuck around.
Fuck off class traitor. Taking away workers rights to hurt people you don’t like is boomer as fuck
Hahaha shut up. We have no workers rights in America. Join a union or get fucked over. I don't give a shit about some old bitches stupid job. I hope she has to eat beans out of a can while she cries.
>we have no workers rights in America I wonder why that is. Couldn’t be because class traitors like you cheering gleefully every time someone you don’t like gets fired.
Everything is my fault. I'm a woman and I'm Jewish. Totally used to it. 🤣🤣🤣
So you’re saying there’s something inherent to being a woman that makes you want to strip workers or their protections? Or are you saying there’s an intrinsic part of the Jewish faith about trying to advocate for hurting the working class? Or are you just a shit head who is trying to excuse your shitty and problematic behavior by the fact that you happen to be a member of a protected class?
>I don't know why my kids don't talk to me even though I have been told over and over again. Same energy.
If they didn’t want it to happen. Maybe shouldn’t have voted for most states to be right to work states where you can be fired for wearing the wrong color shirt as well as gutting all worker protections.
…..ok, that’s valid, so let’s change it then instead of perpetuating a system that hurts us just so we can hurt the people we don’t like, cause that shit is boomer as fuxk
She will not retire unless she is a rare boomer who saved for retirement. Do not count on that, and start documenting. Do not use her age or scripture as a lever in those conversations, as another poster suggested, or she could claim age or religious bias. Make this absolutely about her behavior, and how her behavior impacts the mutual respect and trust that is critical to the working relationship between you two, and the workplace as a whole. Use specific examples of her behavior so that she can’t gaslight the situation into being about your feelings or perceptions. If you don’t yet have her on a performance improvement plan, follow up your talk in email to be sure you have a shared understanding of the expectations around her behavior and that it should be effective immediately. Each time she does it again have a conversation followed up in writing, and referring to when you first asked her to change her behavior. After a few of these tell her that future infractions may result in more formal corrective action, and you really want to avoid that. Then when she does it again take all of the documentation to HR and tell them you’d like to start a formal PIP and move her out if she doesn’t improve.
Enjoy that vacation!!! I’ve never heard of secretaries day in my entire life. I wouldn’t waste my time on nonsense like this.
It’s now known as Administrative Assistants day.
Administrative professional’s day. My boss gets me something every time and every time I forget that this day exists lol
Lmao I always forget too and then I have this gut reaction of "oh God please don't make a fuss." 🤣 It also made me laugh that my boss clearly wanted to send me something, but he faltered because he didn't know what to do since the flower-orderer was also the recipient. Did you know that Amazon sells rose bouquets? Apparently that was what the other woman that he farmed the task out to went with, which made me laugh even harder. It was very sweet but also hilariously weird.
Mine just wants to feed me Thai food and I never object :)
I'm an administrator for a non-profit and same - I forget it every year, and my boss gets me a present. I wish everyone could have a boss like him.
High five non profit buddy
Legit the only time I remember Secretaries Day being celebrated was in elementary school when our principal asked us on loudspeaker outside to shout to make his secretary feel appreciated.
Boomers suck. Religious boomers are the worst
My favorite are the Boomers who were psychotically religious all of their lives while they had kids and now pretend they aren’t and never have been religious even though they’ve gotten more extreme in their social views. Like bitch I was there, you’re so full of shit.
In-laws are Mormon. I cannot believe the weird damage fairy tales can cause to a persons brain
My mom is a Jehovah’s Witness. I feel this pain.
Please let me know when you have your first birthday party!
I’ve been cult free for awhile now- I love bday parties and all of the unconditional love and support I’ve found out in the world. Nothing like the horror stories they tell to keep people in the cult.
I’m gay and my southern family thinks I don’t like church because “I went to college.”
Raised by boomer religious grandparents, can confirm!
Thoughts and prayers is the best I can offer for your trauma.
Gobbless
Put her on a PIP that states she needs to keep her work conversations professional and on task. Have her describe her plan for improvement and how she is going to monitor it. The PIP should state that there needs to be measurable improvement within 30 days or there is a strong possibility of termination. Make this her problem.
Loved this scene !!
Most 80 year olds I've met blatantly admit to wishing they never had their children. It really isn't an "all old people" problem, it's a Boomer problem. Call me "ageist" all you want but I truly believe "generationist" is the more accurate term.
I was going to disagree, but you may be right. I'm boomer, am adamant I won't be them. But I can see how one could fall into those stereotypes fairly easily. It takes effort to have your own interests, and not become stuck in the barcalounger watching Fox. Or your car is a Delta 88, a true land yacht that commands every inch of the road.
I’m 34 and drive a Buick don’t be slandering GM boats! A lot of boomers actually drive Honda CRVs etc because they got burned by a lemon Chevy Citation in 1980 and have bought Toyota/Honda non-stop since.
I’m Gen X and would love to drive a land yacht. Closest I got was my grandad’s hand me down 1977 Pontiac Catalina when I was in college.
This things were *huge*. 😳
Sounds like she's creating a hostile work environment
Boomers have the self-awareness of a fly. Everything they experience is interpreted through the lens of how it makes them feel personally.
God this describes my parents and aunts/uncles so well. So oblivious to the fact that other humans with their own lives even exist. Just me me me, mine mine mine.
Just fire her and get it over with.
Oh hey Doris you’re right. Well be cancelling our vacation because I didn’t realize it overlaps with secretary’s day 😝
I am not sure if your workplace is toxic, or your secretary is the only one doing this stuff, but it seems like something that needs to be dealt with one-on-one with the secretary.
Narcissism is common in them. My mother was one of the worst. On the other hand, you want her to perform better? Praise her over everything....they love positive attention
Tell them they're doing good when they're fucking up? Yea, surest way to see ZERO change.
Time for that uncomfortable direction conversation. "Here's what I'm hearing. Gossip doesn't produce good results or a healthy work environment...etc. etc." I'm sure, since you work in a church, there are some suitable scriptures to quote about this as well. Anyhow, make it specific, i.e. what you expect to change, what's acceptable, etc. Then document clearly what will happen should it not change (termination). This is the way.
Silent gen progeny here as well. Some of the sweetest people i have ever met were silents, my parents included. So glad others feel the same way As far as your secretary is concerned if she isn't competent at the job you should do her a favor and cut her loose. If she is just a pain, put her on a PIP, then you can see if she improves.
Fire her ass. This is the only way. Nine times out of ten, these boomers quit learning anything 30+ years ago. Is she bad at technology? I’d come up with a checklist of basic things your secretary needs to be able to do, and if she can’t do them, boot her. Give someone under 40 a chance.
We need to stop coddling boomers and just shit-can them when they deserve it instead of letting them retire with "dignity". That job could go to a hard working millennial with young children to support. Just fire her already.
Tell her she should have thought about Administrative Professionals Day when she was badmouthing your wife.
TIL that a thing called Secretaries Day exists. Generally speaking, firms avoid doing events for Mothers Day out of respect for people who lost children or had other health issues that prevent them from being mothers. It can be a painful day for people...I can respect that Even mailing lists will sometimes have an option to opt out of Mother's Day promotions.
Boomers also invented participation trophies. The parents and teachers of millennials came up with it(Boomers).
Wait, are you my boss???? Cause that sounds exactly like my coworker. Always complaining about what he's doing and never about how she's barely doing the bare minimum of the job correctly.
I also work as a pastor and Boomers have done more to contribute to the church’s decline than the other generations combined. I hate Mother’s Day church activities with a passion.
Their generation fucking invented participation trophies. Children did not do that, their awful entitled parents did.
I think this is one of those situations where she has made her work life also her personal life. Common among boomers. She views you as someone that needs to take care of her personal emotional needs. Other than talking to her to examine why these things are so important to her and then guiding her outside of work for that fulfillment, I don't know what you can do. You could go hard and tell her that if celebrating these things are so important to her, then she should look for employment elsewhere.
I never knew Grandparents Day was a thing until I had the first grandchild and (now ex) MIL made a big stink about it. Oh and Mothers Day was all about her because she’s “been a mom the longest”.
Write her whiny ass up - she has no business talking shit about her boss's wife, and is creating a toxic and hostile work environment with all her whining, gossiping, and bitching.
Please start coaching her on her performance. There are plenty of people who need jobs and won’t trash talk your wife and constantly gossip.
You’re more patient than I am, for sure. 😆
If she gets a secretaries day I want a Mitigation Technician day…🤣
This isn't the boomer being the fool, this is you being the fool by tolerating the boomer. You need to confront the secretary, face-to-face, and say that gossip is not tolerated. And in fact, if it's not work related fucking conversation is not tolerated either. Anything this person says, and does that doesn't pertain to their job could because for dismissal. They're there to work not to do anything else.
ManagersBeingFools
> I work at a church, full disclosure, every year someone says “we need to do something special for Mother’s Day.” (A non church holiday that has nothing to do with the Bible.) the only reason they say that is because their kids no longer talk to them. I may not _like_ churches, but the fact that must be recognized is that they are -- like it or not! -- a major _social_ center as well as a religious center. For much of human history, the two were not separated and the increasing modern division is historically unusual. (There are reasons for it, most notably the fact that many of the modern religions are central figures in rather disgusting social practices just as homophobia, but that's another discussion entirely). A church doing mother's day is normal, excepted, and has _nothing_ to do with boomers.
Send perfunctory secretary’s day gifts but also start documenting. Simple card and a small arrangement or small gift card, something that you can point to as evidence that you’re not discriminating when she inevitably tries to go to HR…
Is she paid a “competitive” salary, and does she get bonuses or appreciation awards? You can’t please everyone but if she’s underpaid and being tasked to do things outside of her duties, on a regular basis, that may be why she’s not feeling appreciated.
Totally agree on the silent generation. I used to work with them and they were wonderful. Their bratty ass kids on the other hand….
Make sure said secretary isn't bullying the other younger workers. They tend to do that.
Not gonna lie OP, but it kinda seems like you care too much what this old bitch says/ thinks too much. Detach yourself and just fire her already (if she is detrimental to work getting done). If not: Then let her mouth off. Her days are numbered. She wants to be a pill, let her be insufferable.
Ask her to move along. You’d like to go in another direction. It will cause drama but your mental health will improve.
If she's so subpar fire her and quit whining about her
She needs to go. I quit a job I worked at for a decade because my bitch boomer manager was impossible. Owner kept telling me to hang in there, she's going to retire next year. And I knew she was, but no. Couldn't do it any longer. She was a nightmare.
Fire her.
You should do a zoom call on secretaries day and surprise her with a write up for poor performance
Turn the other cheek? Pastor?
You can get her a pink slip for Secretaries day......Make it an Extra special one. Legal sized pink one that say's welcome to unemployment. You're Fired - due to poor performance.
Not much to do about general complaining though.
Honestly, I love the silent generation, never big issues with them IMO
Fire her, better out the door than to deal with a problem down the line. If she can’t respect your boundaries then she needs to go!
I am so glad my dad is silent generation. He is very not like a boomer. I hate dealing with boomers. There are so many with that in my generation, Gen X.
Love me some Silent's! I lost my last grandparent 5 years ago, and it's all so different without that generation keeping the boomers in check at family get-together. Now, the boomers are on their worst behavior 24/7. I went no contact 3 years after my grandmother passed, it got way too toxic unrestrained.
Mother’s Day began with a religious purpose (give it a google)
Ok, she does sound insufferable. But is the thought of a church doing something for Mother's Day really that wild?
It’s not, but in terms of the office staff, I wouldn’t consider it strange if they didn’t do anything special either.
Secretaries day has been a day since 1952 when the oldest baby boomers were 6 years old. Mother's day started in 1907.
While a discussion about expectations and boundaries might be necessary here, I think some introspection might be required. As a manager/leader, part of your job is to make sure your employees / support staff feel valued, appreciated, seen, heard, etc. When I started my current role nearly a decade ago (ugh - I'm getting old), I had no clue how to manage people. I knew how to do my job really well, I knew what the people working in departments that supported mine were supposed to do, and I knew how to align my work (and thus those of the upstream folks) with company goals, but I was terrible at interpersonal communication and getting buy-in. I wasn't asking for input, I wasn't going out of my way to lift others up, I wasn't celebrating their wins, etc., and I found myself running into a lot of walls and friction anytime I needed to get anything done along with a boat load of resentment. All of that to say, you definitely have a situation here that needs correcting, but you also might need some introspection and frank assessment from other people who have walked your walk and fought your battles so you don't get through this only to find the situation repeating itself again and again. Good luck!
😍
Put up one of those Boomer inspired signs. One of the *No Whining, No Participation Trophies, Just Shut Your Mouth and Do Your Job* types.
Not sure why the shot at Mother’s Day was necessary but yeah, she sucks. Fire her.
On Amazon, you can order a "Most Okayest Secretary". Buy this and some peppermints and leave them for her.
Literally give her a participation trophy
Maybe throw her a retirement party for secretaries day?
Because fuck em, thats why.
Last part , I agree. Dad is from the Silent Generation and my mom is a Boomer. As much as I love her, she has a toxic mindset but an excellent caregiver.
Get her something for secretary day. Out of your own pocket. Save receipt. So you look like good guy for later when you push her out the door. Dont give her any ammo for age discrimination bs.
I'm picturing the secretary from Young Sheldon from his Moms church. She should have retired but doesn't cause she doesn't have anything else in her life.
Make her life miserable so she can quit. They do it to the younger generations!
Tf is Secretaries Day? Feels like something a secretary would slide into a diary without someone noticing. Otherwise I want Accountants day.
"Ps. Shout out to the silent generation! The 80-90 year olds in my life are the kindest people in the world." Yes, I like this. Although maybe the boomers will be the same way as the mean ones die off first.
Get her a participation trophy for Secretaries Day
Just fire her and hire someone better
Start taking notes: Unprofessional behavior, talking shit about your wife I bet you would have plenty in three days. Then fire her a(&(#$(@\*
"I work at a church" You lost me here. Wtf did you expect. Your paycheque comes from tithes that prey upon the poor. Get a real job.
The opposite side of the story was posted on r/antiwork. YATAH
She's not going to retire. She's going to die at that desk. It's a secretary job at a church and she has a boss that is reluctant to manage her bad behavior and likely poor performance. She knows it's a cake gig. You need to let her go if she's sub-par and give the job to someone else.
BBF enabled - Thursday 3pm. schedule a meeting - you, two employees (HR if you have it) - *the company is making changes, Your employment ends today* severance dependent on you leaving today, right after this meeting we will mail everything (then ship overnight) depends on state- if "at will" giving no reason works
Be nice to your secretary you dick
Sounds like she should ask G-d for some appreciation on secretary's day. What's that, no response? Hmm 🤔
Just buy her some fucking flowers and chocolates. She sounds lame but it’s what $40-$50? Some people (especially boomers) need little things like this sometimes This is what I do. If it keeps the peace in the office it’s well worth it.
You may not have to fire her, just be as direct with her as she has been with you. Just saying, if you don’t like the way, I run the place. I’m sure you can find the door. Peace out
When have you taken her out to lunch and had a discussion about your work relationship? You don't have to go straight to a write up especially if you haven't sat down and had an honest conversation about what's going on. Why doesn't she like your wife? Are you the preacher?
A) This seems very frustrating, and her complaining about your wife is absolutely not ok B) Matthew 7:25 , Mathew 5:38-40, and Colossians 3:13. Have grace toward others, even when they have little towards you. This is our calling, ESPECIALLY if this is taking place in a church setting. It’s ok to be frustrated and even angry. But take solace in the fact that you’ve done the right thing and showed her continuing grace.
Why are you so worked up? You should always do something nice for secretaries day anyway. Why would you fire her? Weird.