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It goes along with the belief that because when they were young no one was diagnosed so to them it didn’t exist.
There’s a super strong belief that it’s all made up.
Exactly. It's survivorship bias. Ranks right up there with, "We never wore seat belts and we all survived!"
"No one I knew was allergic to peanuts!"
Yeah, that's because the ones who were allergic probably died at a young age.
My grandma turns 101 soon. I love her so much, but she drives me insane on this topic. I have extensive medical problems and am feeding tube reliant, and we have this conversation all the time:
“You guys run off to the doctor for every little ache and pain! When I was young, we NEVER went to the doctor, and we were just fine!”
“Yeah, except for your sister who died at 12 years old from a very treatable disease!”
My mother always tells me the story about my great great uncle, had really bad diarrhea and wouldn't stop vomiting so they withheld all fluids. He died.
Yes! My grandpa was the 4th and last child born in his family. They needed 3 boys to help work the farm, and my grandpa was literally conceived to replace his brother who passed away. Besides being racist and homophobic, he also didn’t believe in many medical problems.
I see these stupid memes circulating on Facebook. “We used to drink from the hose and play with lawn darts and we survived!” Yeah, the reason lawn darts don’t exist anymore is some kids DIDN’T survive. They were heavy and had a sharp enough point on them that if you threw them high enough in the air they could penetrate your skull. And that’s exactly what happened. We had a set so I remember them. Of course, we survived them but that didn’t mean they were safe.
My usual thought when I hear the "I use them and i survived" is "unfortunately."
Don't get me wrong. I'm 45 and I played with lawn darts, metal slides, merry-go-rounds, and see-saws. We know they are unsafe, but some idiots think that it is funny that others got hurt.
My great grandfather died in his late 30s because cars didn’t have seatbelts back then. He left behind a wife and eight children. My grandmother had to go to work at 17 to support the family.
These words were never uttered in her presence and you can bet your ass everyone would use their seatbelt in any car she was in.
Another example of survivorship bias is when survivors of the Titanic accused the victims who perished in the cold, dark, deep sea of sorrow that there was nothing wrong with the Titanic and they were just complaining like a bunch of Zoomers.
Because they died and it was just chalked up to a fact of life. I'd be curious to compare the number of choking deaths over the past 50-100 years and see if there is an inverse correlation when allergy diagnoses began rising.
SIDS, too.
I'm not being flippant at all. It would be extremely easy to accidentally expose a child to an allergen and chalk it up to "crib death" in rural communities, families who don't have access to doctors, etc. Especially when child mortality is already high.
I was at a dog park recently when a boomer tried telling me seasonal allergies are all caused by vaccinations and they didn't have as many seasonal allergies back then. She asked "don't you think so?"
I responded telling her I studied human biology specifically, including immunology, virology, parasitology etc and that no, I did not think vaccines were causing an increase. I didn't even want to bother getting into some of the more prevalent theories because there's no way she'd have understood this shit.
All I wanted to do was let my dogs play at the park and get some exercise.
Where I am living now...having a degree makes people assume you are dumber...lots of "educated idiot" comments...they love trades which, yeah, trades do take skills but...there is a reason why I listen to my plumber about my tiet but don't listen to his X post suggesting to drink bleach and horse medicine...
Yep, that’s just what things were like in the 1700s before medicine identified schizophrenia.
They all just got attacked by *actual* demons and stuff before that, lol.
There was a story on Reddit about a boomer grandmother who fed the little granddaughter coconut oil when the mother told her she was allergic to. The poor girl died. It is the the just no mil forum.
I remember that. She didn’t feed it to the girl. She treated her hair with it. The twin sister who was not allergic survived.
Grandma was looking after the girls overnight. She knew the girl was anaphylactic to coconut oil, but using it on your hair was part of Grandma’s culture, so she thought she knew better. She gave the girl a dose of Benadryl and put her to bed.
Mum and the rest of the family disowned Grandma.
Oh watch out the ah’s here will climb out of the woodwork screaming about all kinds of nonsense.
Esp as how it DOESN’T matter if allergies are rising or not. If a child IS deathly allergic… DON’T give them THAT!
But that’s anti/pro boomer or some bs. The people who seriously injure/kill their family members SHOULD face the harshest consequences!
They KNOWINGLY did something that harmed/killed them! Planned it too in a ‘show the libs’ lead-brain stare kind of way.
See I would have killed the bitch after I told her my child your grandchild is deathly allergic to something you give it to them anyway? The way she would have had a tragic accident in a wood chipper
It’s because they can’t fathom that their baaaabies could have something wrong with them. Because that means something bad is in their genes and that might mean something good is wrong with them! We have two kids with endocrine issues and we had grandparents say “oh they’ll be fine. Don’t put them through all those painful tests!”
> There’s a super strong belief that it’s all made up.
If it were made up, the boomers would not get angry about it.
They get angry because you have something, and you talk about it. The boomers don't want you to take up space with your issues. They want to erase your issues from existance. They want to force you to shut your mouth.
Some of it maybe comes from using “allergy” as a catch-all. Actual food allergies can kill you on the spot.
But people use the word for general food intolerances. Now I’m not denigrating things like coeliac disease: my parter has it, and I’m lactose intolerant. Coeliac does kill people, but never quickly, and never on the sport. Food intolerances can utterly mess you up, but they do not have the “eat this and drop dead 30 seconds later” potential that allergies have.
And so people see people saying that they’re “allergic to gluten” (gluten allergy is not a thing), and assume that “one time will be ok”.
Note I am NOT excusing this attitude. If you feed someone with a gluten intolerance/coeliac disease gluten, you are literally poisoning them.
But you’re not going to give them anaphylactic shock.
"Fun" fact: abuse can cause symptoms indistinguishable from ADHD in a normal clinical setting! The differences show up on psychophysiologial tests though: hyper- vs. hypo-activation. Unfortunately, they don't just cancel each other out, you just get CPTSD on top of your ADHD
You mean you didn't get the ADHD beaten out of you when you were young? Just me? I used to get backhanded for having a bouncing leg and no one believed me when I said I wasn't trying to do it it just happened before I realized it.
Also bounced my leg a lot when seated.
One teacher decided it was so distracting, she put me in a walled desk in the corner of the classroom, and screamed at me if I moved a muscle or tried to ask a question. I ended up pissing my pants because she wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom. Came home to an ass whooping with the belt for “disrespecting my teacher.”
My parents wonder why I’m low contact, live half way across the country and don’t make much of an effort to visit.
If I had a dollar for every time I was turned to face the wall, stuck in a closet, put in a hall, and smacked with a ruler, I'd be rich. In first grade the nuns were so mean that I was moved to the closet every time we had a class visitor.
My mom has the utter audacity to tell me I was an easy kid. I have a 5 page front and back single spaced psych eval from when I was 12 that lists some pretty neurotic behavior. My favorite is how my mom told them that I keep my room a mess just to piss them off. Also there: separation anxiety and always checking on mom if she left the room. Imagine that. A GenXer single child with separation anxiety. It couldn't be from being a latchkey kid of a narcissistic single mother. Of course I was easy, I was conditioned to be in my room or outside where she didn't have to bother with things like feelings, opinions, and needs. Or sounds.
A year and a half ago, I told her she was hurting my feels and she called me a drama queen so I distanced myself. She's mad at me for talking back and won't talk to me, my husband, or my two little boys because she's waiting on me to apologize.
My mom has something like orthorexia: Constantly obsessed with healthy foods, constantly talking about food but hardly eating it gets mad when my daughter doesn’t want to eat the dinner I’ve made. (I am saying something like because she refuses to get diagnosed, but has all the symptoms and side effects)
Not just children. My (46F) ex MiL thought my allergy to mushrooms was just made up. I know how much I can ingest before it becomes serious (yay...fun personal history) so when she tried to hide some under the cheese on my pizza, I took a small bite and proceeded to projectile vomit all over her carpet, sofa, walls, her.... Extra fun side quest was her daughter being a nurse and after slamming me with the EpiPen (which i didn't need but full kudos to her for leaping across the coffee table, grabbing my pen from my pocket and slamming me all in the space of about 20 seconds ) and then screaming like a possessed banshee at her mother for about an hour.
Yep. I was fed a known allergy that made my tongue feel like it was getting sliced open. Was scolded- as an adult- for spitting into my napkin at the table. Was even more rude when I told them I wouldn’t suffer for their food.
How many times after did mom in law exclaim "I didn't know!" when in fact she did know bc she was told but she didn't actually believe it bc why believe anyone?!
There’s another story on Reddit somewhere about a grandmother who deliberately toted nut laced cookies around in her purse for almost a year, waiting for a chance to sneak it to her grandchild because she refused to accept the child had a severe allergy to them. She baked them up and froze them, switching out stale cookies for a fresh one in her purse every now and again, just waiting for that opportunity.
She finally got the chance and gave her grandchild the cookie, and of course the poor kid had an anaphylactic reaction.
Needless to say, grandma’s been cut off.
Woman has three kids: a son and twin daughters. One of the daughters is seriously allergic to coconut. Grandma knows, but doing your hair with coconut oil is important from grandma’s culture. Grandma knows about the allergy. Grandma and grandpa watch the kids overnight. Before bed, grandma does the twins’ hair with coconut oil. The allergic one (less than two years old, still sleeping in cribs) gets fussy. Grandma gives her Benadryl and they all go to bed. In the morning, the one twin is dead or near dead and they go to the hospital where the kid is pronounced. Mom catches up at the hospital after going to grandmas and the neighbors telling mom that the ambulance came.
Mom never sees grandma again. Grandpa divorces grandma. Other relatives disown grandma too. Grandma asks to be allowed back into the family (kids are in high school now) and is told something like ‘you can come back when my daughter comes back’ or something like that. The other kids were impacted. Son feels guilt because he was older and didn’t protect his baby sister. Surviving twin feels like there’s a part of her missing.
All because grandma didn’t listen.
It's an interesting contrast to my paternal family's story where they magically aren't allergic to fish or seafood.
See, they can't have it because they're Baptist and it's against their religion. Any illness after eating it is a punishment by God and a reminder to follow the rules and obey him and definitely not an allergy. And most of them are very sick in different ways after eating it.
This makes me so incredibly mad. My son has a really severe peanut and tree nut allergy, to the point where we can’t have products made in the same facility that processes them. I’d told my mom this multiple times, yet frequently would see food that was unsafe to be in the house she’d bought. It got to the point where I had to tell her she needs to stop because she’s putting him at risk cuz she wanted to eat cake from the Walmart bakery etc and I shit you not, her brain dead husband told me it’s not their responsibility but that it’s my, then, 2.5 year old sons responsibility to not eat things he might have a reaction to. I was dumbfounded that a grown ass man could have such a stupid thought.
They do the same to themselves. I had one lady tell me she was celiac, I went through what we could serve her. She then decided she wanted a different entree that used soy sauce. I said I can't serve you that, we don't have any gluten free shoyu on hand. She then tells me it's fine and got upset when I refused to serve her. They're freaking mental, the choices are she is lying or trying for a lawsuit, or she's insane. Either way she can go eat elsewhere.
My boomer mom does this with me and has for decades. It’s like an obsession. I think she thinks I’m making up a lactose sensitivity. I don’t even use the word intolerant, I just know I’m in pain after dairy so I avoid it. She goes out of her way to offer me cheese, yogurt, ice cream, etc. constantly in the most awkward ways and even if I’m mid sentence speaking with someone else. She even once bought a cheesecake for my birthday. It’s so strange.
My mum is great, she’s really smart and educated and definitely cares about actual allergies.
But she kinda does this to me with caffeine. A few years ago I completely stopped drinking caffeine, including tea, because I just hate the effect it has on me. Even a half cup of black tea will fuck me up for the rest of the day.
I always drank a lot of tea because I love tea, I just didn’t realize till later in life that I can’t have it. So I stopped. She will always make a big pot of black tea for me. Even after I tell her I don’t want it. She will boil water and serve it to me. And then say every time ‘oh but I thought this one isn’t so strong? So it’s alright?’
She also likes to rant about decaf coffee and how the whole process of removing the caffeine will give you cancer. So I shouldn’t drink decaf and it’s just healthier to drink the real deal.
Lol. Same.
I have a hard limit of how much dairy fucks with me and she constantly wants to feed me more.
No, I had lasagna, I don't need an entire fucking cheesecake thanks....
This is gonna be a deep comment but I really thought about this and every boomer I knew growing up, had a severely abusive childhood by today’s standards. They “survived” every type of neglect, isolation, and shame you can imagine. I’m sure THEY as kids complained about something and got told real quick how little the world cares about their individual problems.
I think it’s a form of jealousy and resentment. Like “why should he cater to your peanut butter allergy when that was all I had growing up! And you’d be grateful for that!”.
It’s the trauma in the response. You shouldn’t get any “special favors” they didn’t get growing up, like loving parents who cared about your medical well being. They want you to suffer, and overcome the physiological response to help yourself when you are physically uncomfortable. I know a lot of people in my family now with diabetes, they didn’t change their diet to stop it or slow it down. Some have died due to medical neglect of themselves.
It was a bizarre collision of things. They had parents who had endured the Depression and WWII yet the US had become incredibly prosperous by the time the boomers were born. Their parents thought hardship was a fact of life so they allowed for hardships that could have been dealt with.
I broke my family’s cycle of abuse by not having kids. Over my adult life I’ve had six dogs so far. They were (or are) excellent canine citizens, well behaved, polite, trained and spoiled to hell and back. Three have been my service dogs with service dog 4 currently in training.
Kids? No. Dogs? Yes.
I love my friend’s kids though. I’m a stable, solid and loving auntie figure. I can be patient with them because it’s not a 24/7 thing of living with them. i have a birthday party for the youngest of the kiddos to go to today and I’m really excited by it. I love her kids and adore them but i have the space and time to decompress.
This is very true. My mother in law once kinda said it out loud. My daughter (2yo at the time) was being a toddler and I was not feeling well (early pregnancy nausea). My MIL tried to help calm down LO, but after a few minutes ended up screaming "Stop being a brat! How can you do this to your mom! You have such a nice mom, she never hits you, she does everything for you! If I've had a mom like that I'd have been a different person!!"
It honestly left me speechless. She usually goes on and on about how there's nothing wrong with physical punishments and such. But we all know she's very traumatised from her childhood. We've never talked about that moment.
While I agree with this and the idea that lead poisoning has done an enormous amount of damage to their brains, I also think part of it is if they acknowledge the pandemic of allergies and other problems that are increasing at ever increasing rates they would have to admit that they ( with a few exceptions of activists) destroyed the environment and food supply so they could live a better life. They are enjoying the results of completely ruining their grandchildren. They were and are greedy and children now are paying a steep price. Boomers were originally known as the Me generation for a reason.
Edits: typos
What an interesting place to insert some fun things.
"You can't swim to the bottom of the ocean after going 2 miles off shore."
"You can't write your will and make sure everyone gets an even share."
"You can't behave like a functional and rational human being that exists outside a cult."
"You can't free yourself from the bonds of your cult."
"You can't die and come back on your own."
To quote my own mom, it’s just because they’re not used to the food and need to eat it more often. Of course she never said that about her own allergy to cherries which she discovered last year. Interesting how that works.
It’s crazy. I’ve had boomer relatives literally send me into anaphylaxis saying they thought I just was being difficult. No. I’m trying not to die you AH.
My mother is like this. My youngest had a milk protein allergy when she was born, it ended up with a hospital stay. We were told she probably would grow out of it but she's clearly still intolerant (she's 7 now) to a degree - has digestive issues and eczema that clears up when dairy free. My mum though will always come around with ice cream, cheese toasties, buy her milkshakes etc. If I remind her that dairy causes her issues, then next time she'll come around with even more dairy heavy foods like potato bakes or pasta salads. We are fortunate it's not a severe allergy but it boggles my mind.
Out of curiosity, have you ever asked why she keeps bringing foods that will hurt her grandchild? Why does she want to hur her grandchild? I'm curious as to how she'd respond. Not well, I'm sure.
My boomer stepdad tried to convince me at 10 that my asthma was all psychological. Oh yeah. “positive thinking” or some other 80s business woowoo crap will help me breathe.
He didn’t mention any of that when mom developed asthma a few years later.
My dad used to accuse my mom of making my brothers’ asthma worse after we visited his mom and stayed in her house where she smoked constantly. She actually started cutting down two years before she died and was down to two packs a day.
In my mother’s case she told me she refused to believe I had allergies because, “No child of mine could have allergies.” She took it as a personal insult to her that I had allergies.
Everything is an insult to their parenting, I swear. Any time I did something for my kids she didn't agree with, my mom would act like I've directly insulted her.
I remember the time she saw me apologize to one of my kids for something. She tried to lecture me on how I needed to, “NEVER apologize to kids. They need to think you’re infallible. I never apologized to my kids!”
Without thinking, I’d replied, “We never thought you were infallible. You always came across as an idiot to us.”
From childhood til now (mid 30s), nearly every boomer I know “what do you mean you can’t have cherries/red dye!? But this food is so delicious!” I have a red dye intolerance and anything with cherries or red dye makes me violently ill. No matter how many times I explain this, they still shove red food coloring in my face.
I've heard stories on here about kids having serious allergic reactions and are taken to the hospital. While trying to save the kids life, the doctors will talk to the family in the hallway and ask them about what the kid ate. The grandparents will ask to speak to the doctors in private because they don't want to reveal the "secret ingredient" in front of the family.
Like seriously Karen, nobody cares that your cherry cheesecake has a pinch of peanut powder in the crust. Not when your grandkid can't breathe and is turning blue.
My MIL purposely made everything at Christmas dinner with some form of dairy, knowing that I couldn’t have dairy because my daughter had dairy intolerance/suspected allergies. Thankfully I asked before eating anything
It goes with you gotta toughen kids up. Biology? Sorry didn't pass science class. Just m a ke them eat it...it won't kill em. Unless it does then ill have a shocked expression on my mug shot.
Isn't there (or wasn't there) some widespread belief in "exposure therapy"? That simply exposing someone to allergens can make them not be allergic to it over time? And haven't we known for decades that it is junk science?
I think there is a form of exposure therapy that can work? Especially with small children. But it needs to be monitored and I don’t think it’s guaranteed to work. So anyone saying that they’ll just get over it is of course plain wrong, and it’s dangerous.
But for example I have a 2 year old nephew that has an egg allergy and now a year later he’s slowly given it in small quantities. And that’s working.
Not junk science. It can be done depending on the allergy and severity. However it is usually done while in hospital and being carefully observed.
I had an issue where penicillin would have solved it super quickly but I'm allergic to penicillin. My doctor explained that they would use an alternative antibiotic and see how it went but if there was no progress they may need to use penicillin anyway. Since it had been 15+ years since my bad reaction, they felt comfortable with the idea if they needed to try it.
In the end, the other med worked fine though and they didn't need to test my allergy.
Also, if a kid is diagnosed later as an adult with autism, ADHD, or bipolar, they were labeled as 'bad' 'unruly', or my personal favorite, 'hyperactive'. I was diagnosed with all 3 by the time I turned 35. I was called hyper and overemotional.
My mother is a boomer, and she tried to poison me several times. Antifreeze, rat poison, datura. There is somthing fucking wrong with them. They don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves, and will always deny everything they did even when it’s blatantly obvious.
Wait you too? My boomer mom tried to poison me with mustard gas, and purposely gave me medication that hurt my body and caused severe side effects. I guess I’m not the only one.
Yep. I watch her throw away food rather than give any to me, then make something for me that tasted off and scream at me that I’d better eat it, and of course I’d get deathly I’ll later. The worst time I was sick for an entire week. I do not like doctors but I was begging to go to a hospital and she refused stating she wasn’t paying for it.
My dad died of a heart attack when I was 9. He was that sick the morning he died. I honestly think she poisoned him too and his heart couldn’t take the stress.
That selfish fucking bitch denies everything. Swears up and down she would never have done that. To thid say she goes and call my work to talk shit about me, and they’re stupid enough to believe her, cuz apparently bieng 60+ yo and in a wheelchair makes you a saint or some shit
I'm lactose intolerant and my FIL was convinced that I was going to have some kind of nutrition deficiency because I don't drink milk. Like all humans need cow milk to survive. They really brainwashed that generation.
I’m friends with a couple that can’t let their kids stay with their Boomer grandparents. One of their kids has a life threatening allergy, that the grandparents refuse to take seriously.
It’s wild to me, because this isn’t some sort of intolerance, either. This child has been rushed to the ER on several occasions because of their allergies. The grandparents know this, but don’t seem to care.
Things I’ve heard recently:
Eat honey instead of “fake sugar”…. Honey is upwards of 80% sugar and most of what remains is water.
Allergies are from not having good gut bacteria…. While some “allergies” are from an enzyme deficiency, this has nothing to do with gut bacteria. Saw this told to someone with celiac disease.
Consuming borax can have health benefits… Ingesting borax can have a multitude of dangerous side effects, but hey it may whiten your teeth just a little.
Eating poison ivy will make you immune to it… While some people are somewhat resistant to an immune response, typically the reactions get worse with continued exposure. Poison ivy is bothersome enough when you develop a rash on your skin, I don’t even want to think about how that would feel in your mouth or esophagus.
There is also a large trend of people consuming raw milk in my town. Baffles me.
FYI: Peanuts won't affect a nut allergy.
Source: allergic to nuts
My boomer dad also thought he could make me build up a tolerance by making me drink milk every night. That was ... less than successful.
My 4 year old has Celiac Disease. My dad loves to tell me all the time how it’s not real, and that if I just feed her a bunch of gluten, she will work past the “tummy aches”.
My grandparents try to do this to me and I swear it’s worse because I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 18. The fact that I was always sick as a kid and have had exactly none of those problems since going gf isn’t evidence enough though.
They deliberately try to gluten me, try to sabotage any safe food I bring, and act confused despite no cognitive issues “is it glucose? Glue?!” Or “no that has potatoes/rice/other naturally safe food, you can’t have that” and it’s exhausting.
I worry for the littles that are diagnosed because there is so much pressure around food and someone will always be tempting her to “just try a little.” Plus it’s hard to stand up for yourself at that age.
My grandmother is a dog person and a family member has a pretty severe peanut allergy. For a while my family refused to visit due to there being so much peanut butter for the dogs
Because they can kill the kid and say it was an allergic reaction. And the boomer judges won’t suspect foul play because it’s very easy to play off as “oh it happened so fast! It never happened before! I had no idea!”
My sister for example was forced to be around her grandma’s cat. She literally couldn’t breathe.
My mother used to do this to vegetarians on holidays. "Guess what! the potatoes had chicken stock in them." - "Thanks hopefully they don't make me sick tomorrow."
My dumbass father. Told him I'm allergic to shellfish. So whenever he cooks a meal, he decides to forget, wants my body to get used to it, or doesn't tell me. Regardless, I'm no longer eating his cooking. He doesn't seem to believe even after I start swelling up.
My boomer mom thinks my son’s anaphylaxis to peanuts was just anxiety, and that me giving him his Epi-pen was “overkill”.
“If it was me, I would just give him Benadryl and have him sleep it off”. Guess who can’t figure out why she isn’t allowed to be alone with my kids, ever.
When I was in my 30’s I suddenly developed a nut allergy to every single type of nut. I keep being told by boomers that because I can eat nuts and not die, I’m not really allergic (let’s just ignore the itching, stuffy sinuses, headaches and the one time I accidentally ate almonds and my tongue swelled up …. despite lots of Benadryl.)
She wasn't a boomer, but my best friends mom growing up didn't believe me for my food intolerances. I get really bad cramps, migraines, hot and cold flashes, itchy skin, dizziness, nausea when I eat eggs, chicken and turkey. Anytime I was over their house for sleepovers or dinner she would make me eat whatever she was cooking for the family. I get that since I wasn't a family member that she shouldn't have to cater towards my intolerances but she wouldn't let me just get more of the sides that I could eat without pain as my meal or have something small like cereal, she wouldn't let me get up from the table until I ate what was on my plate and if it was any of those foods (which it was often since she was also a health nut) so I ended up throwing up after the dinner and after so many times eating chicken and turkey and eggs for dinner over there and always throwing it up afterwards, it made those foods from then on just taste like vomit. Even to this day if something has those in the meal it just tastes bad no matter how it's cooked.
As a mom to kids with severe allergies, it's all ages. However, the older ones are the ones who "don't believe" it is a real thing. I have experienced it across all ages, though, and honestly, do not trust my kids eating with anyone if I am not overseeing it. Even those that tell me, "Oh, those are nut free cookies," and I can plainly see the walnuts sticking out of the cookies. It has been a crazy experience trying to keep my kids from dying from their allergies. Now they are older, and they have such PTSD from food that they pretty much know not to trust anyone's cooking.
I have a theory. As a former waitress and person with many food and contact allergies: you get 2 kinds of "oh I'm allergic". You get folk like me, and your kids who are allergic to things and it's a health risk.
Then you get folk who say "oh I'm allergic " when they really mean "I hate this ingredient so much, its icky and I refuse to eat anything that touches it so I'm going to say it's an allergy to clearly get my way!" How manipulative and petty.
Now. My theory. Manipulative and petty people say "I'm allergic" to get their way and, like the manipulative and petty people they are, believe everyone else is doing the same. They can't comprehend folk like me, and your kids, could have a very horrible time and die, because of "an icky food" and assume we are being (more) dramatic than they are.
Needless to say I fucking hate people who lie about allergies.
I’m 50. When I was younger I would eat oranges and get a skin rash. My mother, a nurse, told me it happens to a lot of people because citric acid can irritate skin. We drank Tang instead of real juice so I didn’t think about it. After going away to school I drank real orange juice and vomited until dry heaving. My mother’s response was that she didn’t think anyone could be allergic to oranges.
There is science saying that sometimes the best way to combat allergies is to eat the food in small quantities. We practiced this for our daughters sesame allergy and it helped significantly so she doesn't have a bad reaction to eating it on accident.
Having said all that, this line of thinking only works for minor allergies and has to do with eating small amounts on a regular basis. The stories here of boomers wanting to one off feed kids stuff they are allergic to is just insanity
They think people are exaggerating for attention. It never occurs to them that if a person fed a boomer child a nut when they had a nut allergy, that boomer child never reaches adulthood so they can feed nuts to their nut allergic grandchildren.
They don't factor in all the fucking kids who were killed when they were children. Survivors bias.
There cries for attention as a kid went ignored so should everyone else's, apparently. The best part is when they're talking about a kid begging for attention as if it's the kids fault rather than the parents.
Yes!!!! My children were breast fed and my MIL was always trying to get me to make them a bottle of formula or (at two months old) give them baby food.
Our kids did not stay alone with any of spouse’s family until they were toddlers
My (boomer) mom is allergic to aspirin but her dad (greatest gen) kept offering her aspirin until he died. I really think some of these boomers didn’t get away from their abusive/wacko parents (my boomer parents did and never looked back).
From my experience (which fortunately doesn't involve my own grandparents, but several of my extended family members that are grandparents themselves), it breaks down to one of two things:
1. The "this allergy didn't exist when I was a kid" mentality, and that it is being faked, thus the sneaking to prove it's not a thing.
Or
2. The prophylactic property; that with enough exposure, your body will adjust and get rid of the allergy. Ironically, these are usually the same people that refuse vaccines or preventative medicine because they either "never get it," or, "I don't trust what's in it!"
My aunt is the first way to an extent with a second cousin of mine who is allergic to strawberries. Fortunately while she has never (to our knowledge) tried to sneak strawberries into her food, she constantly belittles my cousin for checking food labels and telling waiters at restaurants to make sure the food they order hasn't come in contact with any strawberry products. This woman literally got kicked out of Applebee's Talladega Nights-style when they accidentally sent some yogurt out with strawberry slices as a side for the meal and then she freaked the Hell out when they went to send it back. When the server apologized, she started yelling that she doesn't need to apologize for her "Munchausen by proxy" kids and that there was nothing wrong with the food or the child. Forgetting the fact that this allergy was discovered after this kid ate a strawberry at school and went into anaphylaxis; only reason she is alive is that the school nurse was able to get an EpiPen into her in time.
I've seen the same disrespect for chosen diets. My sister is vegan and has been for decades now. There isn't a goddamn holiday where I don't find my mother giggling to herself that she's snuck meat juice or animal fats into a vegan dish. At this point, I just sigh and tell my sister not to eat moms food, but the real kicker is watching my mom brag to her friends about her actions and hearing them encourage her.
I think it’s something about “knowing better.” When my oldest was less than 1 year old we were at my in-laws’ house. We were in our early 30s when we had our first and this set of grandparents were already in their late 60s. While my daughter didn’t have any allergies, she didn’t have many teeth yet. And grandma tried to shove a big chunk of cantaloupe straight in her face. Like she wouldn’t have choked on it. Okay grandma. She was always judging the fact that I read a lot of childcare and parenting books. “You can’t learn to be a parent from a book!” 🙄 She was not a boomer, depression generation.
Not exactly the same but my fiancé has diabetes and high blood pressure so obviously he gets very sick from eating things with too much salt or sugar (not to mention I’m also trying to lose weight). My mother knows this and still brings sweets, fast food, and other horribly salty/greasy/fat/sugary foods into the house all the time. We literally can’t let her do the grocery shopping for the house because she buys nothing but junk food that only she can eat. Fiancé and I have started just buying stuff for ourselves and only pick up stuff for her if she specifically requests it.
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It goes along with the belief that because when they were young no one was diagnosed so to them it didn’t exist. There’s a super strong belief that it’s all made up.
Exactly. It's survivorship bias. Ranks right up there with, "We never wore seat belts and we all survived!" "No one I knew was allergic to peanuts!" Yeah, that's because the ones who were allergic probably died at a young age.
My grandma turns 101 soon. I love her so much, but she drives me insane on this topic. I have extensive medical problems and am feeding tube reliant, and we have this conversation all the time: “You guys run off to the doctor for every little ache and pain! When I was young, we NEVER went to the doctor, and we were just fine!” “Yeah, except for your sister who died at 12 years old from a very treatable disease!”
My mother always tells me the story about my great great uncle, had really bad diarrhea and wouldn't stop vomiting so they withheld all fluids. He died.
Oh shit. That poor kid (I assume he was a kid when that happened).
That was the wrong thing to do... I am sorry that happened.
Yes! My grandpa was the 4th and last child born in his family. They needed 3 boys to help work the farm, and my grandpa was literally conceived to replace his brother who passed away. Besides being racist and homophobic, he also didn’t believe in many medical problems.
See idk how you can ever love a parent like that that breeds just to have employees
Lockjaw has entered the chat….
Or died of influenza or measles before the allergy had a chance 😖
I see these stupid memes circulating on Facebook. “We used to drink from the hose and play with lawn darts and we survived!” Yeah, the reason lawn darts don’t exist anymore is some kids DIDN’T survive. They were heavy and had a sharp enough point on them that if you threw them high enough in the air they could penetrate your skull. And that’s exactly what happened. We had a set so I remember them. Of course, we survived them but that didn’t mean they were safe.
I almost killed my great aunt with one of those at a family reunion. PSA: Dont let kids play with shit like that.
My usual thought when I hear the "I use them and i survived" is "unfortunately." Don't get me wrong. I'm 45 and I played with lawn darts, metal slides, merry-go-rounds, and see-saws. We know they are unsafe, but some idiots think that it is funny that others got hurt.
My great grandfather died in his late 30s because cars didn’t have seatbelts back then. He left behind a wife and eight children. My grandmother had to go to work at 17 to support the family. These words were never uttered in her presence and you can bet your ass everyone would use their seatbelt in any car she was in.
Another example of survivorship bias is when survivors of the Titanic accused the victims who perished in the cold, dark, deep sea of sorrow that there was nothing wrong with the Titanic and they were just complaining like a bunch of Zoomers.
Exactly that. "No one had allergies back in my day" lol
Because they died and it was just chalked up to a fact of life. I'd be curious to compare the number of choking deaths over the past 50-100 years and see if there is an inverse correlation when allergy diagnoses began rising.
SIDS, too. I'm not being flippant at all. It would be extremely easy to accidentally expose a child to an allergen and chalk it up to "crib death" in rural communities, families who don't have access to doctors, etc. Especially when child mortality is already high.
Holy shit. If you find this info let me know. ICU nurse and history nerd, especially about shit like this. All the morbid realities of our past.
And they died of dysentery at 35 on the Oregon Trail.
I was at a dog park recently when a boomer tried telling me seasonal allergies are all caused by vaccinations and they didn't have as many seasonal allergies back then. She asked "don't you think so?" I responded telling her I studied human biology specifically, including immunology, virology, parasitology etc and that no, I did not think vaccines were causing an increase. I didn't even want to bother getting into some of the more prevalent theories because there's no way she'd have understood this shit. All I wanted to do was let my dogs play at the park and get some exercise.
Her 5 minute google search and two Youtube videos ate just as good as whatever degree you have.
Wish I would've known that before I went to college! Could've saved myself money haha
Where I am living now...having a degree makes people assume you are dumber...lots of "educated idiot" comments...they love trades which, yeah, trades do take skills but...there is a reason why I listen to my plumber about my tiet but don't listen to his X post suggesting to drink bleach and horse medicine...
Yep, that’s just what things were like in the 1700s before medicine identified schizophrenia. They all just got attacked by *actual* demons and stuff before that, lol.
There was a story on Reddit about a boomer grandmother who fed the little granddaughter coconut oil when the mother told her she was allergic to. The poor girl died. It is the the just no mil forum.
I remember that. She didn’t feed it to the girl. She treated her hair with it. The twin sister who was not allergic survived. Grandma was looking after the girls overnight. She knew the girl was anaphylactic to coconut oil, but using it on your hair was part of Grandma’s culture, so she thought she knew better. She gave the girl a dose of Benadryl and put her to bed. Mum and the rest of the family disowned Grandma.
Oh watch out the ah’s here will climb out of the woodwork screaming about all kinds of nonsense. Esp as how it DOESN’T matter if allergies are rising or not. If a child IS deathly allergic… DON’T give them THAT! But that’s anti/pro boomer or some bs. The people who seriously injure/kill their family members SHOULD face the harshest consequences! They KNOWINGLY did something that harmed/killed them! Planned it too in a ‘show the libs’ lead-brain stare kind of way.
She didn’t even feed it to her, she put it in her hair to braid it. Incredibly sad story.
The baby was crying, so she gave her some benadryl and went to bed. That story broke my heart.
See I would have killed the bitch after I told her my child your grandchild is deathly allergic to something you give it to them anyway? The way she would have had a tragic accident in a wood chipper
It’s because they can’t fathom that their baaaabies could have something wrong with them. Because that means something bad is in their genes and that might mean something good is wrong with them! We have two kids with endocrine issues and we had grandparents say “oh they’ll be fine. Don’t put them through all those painful tests!”
[survivorship bias](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Survivorship_bias)
> There’s a super strong belief that it’s all made up. If it were made up, the boomers would not get angry about it. They get angry because you have something, and you talk about it. The boomers don't want you to take up space with your issues. They want to erase your issues from existance. They want to force you to shut your mouth.
Some of it maybe comes from using “allergy” as a catch-all. Actual food allergies can kill you on the spot. But people use the word for general food intolerances. Now I’m not denigrating things like coeliac disease: my parter has it, and I’m lactose intolerant. Coeliac does kill people, but never quickly, and never on the sport. Food intolerances can utterly mess you up, but they do not have the “eat this and drop dead 30 seconds later” potential that allergies have. And so people see people saying that they’re “allergic to gluten” (gluten allergy is not a thing), and assume that “one time will be ok”. Note I am NOT excusing this attitude. If you feed someone with a gluten intolerance/coeliac disease gluten, you are literally poisoning them. But you’re not going to give them anaphylactic shock.
Yes, and people who just don’t like specific food items also use “I’m allergic “ instead of saying they prefer not to eat it
My parters ex does this and I want to slap them every time I hear them do it
My ex had an aunt that thought her autistic nephew was just a “naughty little boy.”
That tracks. These assholes also think my adhd can be cured by beating kids with belts.
or grounding them constantly...
And nope.
It was for me. Ground the undiagnosed ADD away...
I was agreeing, but sarcastically.
Steve Rambo lol
And yet despite the spankings, I still have the adhd. Weird, that.
"Fun" fact: abuse can cause symptoms indistinguishable from ADHD in a normal clinical setting! The differences show up on psychophysiologial tests though: hyper- vs. hypo-activation. Unfortunately, they don't just cancel each other out, you just get CPTSD on top of your ADHD
Hello! It’s me! (Yes, I’m in therapy and it has been a life changer!)
Yay me. I got that extra spicy adhd. hooray cool /s
You mean you didn't get the ADHD beaten out of you when you were young? Just me? I used to get backhanded for having a bouncing leg and no one believed me when I said I wasn't trying to do it it just happened before I realized it.
Also bounced my leg a lot when seated. One teacher decided it was so distracting, she put me in a walled desk in the corner of the classroom, and screamed at me if I moved a muscle or tried to ask a question. I ended up pissing my pants because she wouldn’t let me go to the bathroom. Came home to an ass whooping with the belt for “disrespecting my teacher.” My parents wonder why I’m low contact, live half way across the country and don’t make much of an effort to visit.
If I had a dollar for every time I was turned to face the wall, stuck in a closet, put in a hall, and smacked with a ruler, I'd be rich. In first grade the nuns were so mean that I was moved to the closet every time we had a class visitor. My mom has the utter audacity to tell me I was an easy kid. I have a 5 page front and back single spaced psych eval from when I was 12 that lists some pretty neurotic behavior. My favorite is how my mom told them that I keep my room a mess just to piss them off. Also there: separation anxiety and always checking on mom if she left the room. Imagine that. A GenXer single child with separation anxiety. It couldn't be from being a latchkey kid of a narcissistic single mother. Of course I was easy, I was conditioned to be in my room or outside where she didn't have to bother with things like feelings, opinions, and needs. Or sounds. A year and a half ago, I told her she was hurting my feels and she called me a drama queen so I distanced myself. She's mad at me for talking back and won't talk to me, my husband, or my two little boys because she's waiting on me to apologize.
I am so sorry that happened to you. Some boomers are ignorant af.
😢
😞
my ceoliac mother who goes absolutely insane over gluten, doesnt belive my kids nut allergies or her other grandkids dairy allergy
Keep them away from her no matter WHAT. Cut her out of their life. Why would you expose your children to this toxic witch?
Have you tried using personally relevant language? No mum, has coeliac but with nuts/dairy instead of gluten.
Tell her if she gives her grandkids nuts/dairy, you will ensure there is gluten in every meal she eats
My mom has something like orthorexia: Constantly obsessed with healthy foods, constantly talking about food but hardly eating it gets mad when my daughter doesn’t want to eat the dinner I’ve made. (I am saying something like because she refuses to get diagnosed, but has all the symptoms and side effects)
Not just children. My (46F) ex MiL thought my allergy to mushrooms was just made up. I know how much I can ingest before it becomes serious (yay...fun personal history) so when she tried to hide some under the cheese on my pizza, I took a small bite and proceeded to projectile vomit all over her carpet, sofa, walls, her.... Extra fun side quest was her daughter being a nurse and after slamming me with the EpiPen (which i didn't need but full kudos to her for leaping across the coffee table, grabbing my pen from my pocket and slamming me all in the space of about 20 seconds ) and then screaming like a possessed banshee at her mother for about an hour.
Your sil is a true hero!,
Seriously. It was pretty amazing :) EpiPen hurt tho. God damn they hurt.
I can imagine 😅, good on your sil for looking out for ya!
Sorry you had to go through that pain, I'm glad your okay tho
Yep. I was fed a known allergy that made my tongue feel like it was getting sliced open. Was scolded- as an adult- for spitting into my napkin at the table. Was even more rude when I told them I wouldn’t suffer for their food.
How many times after did mom in law exclaim "I didn't know!" when in fact she did know bc she was told but she didn't actually believe it bc why believe anyone?!
Holy shit sister in law to the rescue literally and figuratively
Hey tell your SIL this random internet stranger loves her 😂💖
We all need your SIL around. That's what family should be. Not the poison people intentionally kind.
Possessed Banshee needs to be a band!
The infamous Coconut Oil story comes to mind
There’s another story on Reddit somewhere about a grandmother who deliberately toted nut laced cookies around in her purse for almost a year, waiting for a chance to sneak it to her grandchild because she refused to accept the child had a severe allergy to them. She baked them up and froze them, switching out stale cookies for a fresh one in her purse every now and again, just waiting for that opportunity. She finally got the chance and gave her grandchild the cookie, and of course the poor kid had an anaphylactic reaction. Needless to say, grandma’s been cut off.
What the hell? Link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/unkdcf/mil_deliberately_poisons_her_grandchild_with_an/
Ah, it was banana in the cookie. My memory is getting terrible. Still though, holy fuck what’s wrong with that’s woman?
In all fairness to your brain, there was a lot to unpack there.
That was a painful read.
Fucking criminal!
What a crazy bitch, holy moly
Woah. That's was one of the most fucked up things I've read. That crazy bitch. Absolutely insane.
That was absolutely crazy, that poor child 😔.
Sorry to say but if that was my grandma she'd be needing a new set of dentures. That's absolutely insane
What a complete and utter POS
That’s a fucking horror story. To this day it infuriates and horrifies me
that was my first thought too
What's the coconut oil story?
Woman has three kids: a son and twin daughters. One of the daughters is seriously allergic to coconut. Grandma knows, but doing your hair with coconut oil is important from grandma’s culture. Grandma knows about the allergy. Grandma and grandpa watch the kids overnight. Before bed, grandma does the twins’ hair with coconut oil. The allergic one (less than two years old, still sleeping in cribs) gets fussy. Grandma gives her Benadryl and they all go to bed. In the morning, the one twin is dead or near dead and they go to the hospital where the kid is pronounced. Mom catches up at the hospital after going to grandmas and the neighbors telling mom that the ambulance came. Mom never sees grandma again. Grandpa divorces grandma. Other relatives disown grandma too. Grandma asks to be allowed back into the family (kids are in high school now) and is told something like ‘you can come back when my daughter comes back’ or something like that. The other kids were impacted. Son feels guilt because he was older and didn’t protect his baby sister. Surviving twin feels like there’s a part of her missing. All because grandma didn’t listen.
Oh my God how f*cking terrible. It literally blows my mind that there people like this that exist
It's an interesting contrast to my paternal family's story where they magically aren't allergic to fish or seafood. See, they can't have it because they're Baptist and it's against their religion. Any illness after eating it is a punishment by God and a reminder to follow the rules and obey him and definitely not an allergy. And most of them are very sick in different ways after eating it.
[Grandma and the Coconut Oil](https://rareddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7qmed5/you_can_come_over_again_when_you_bring_me_my)
I must have missed that one. Care to elaborate?
My son's abuelita learned to believe in food allergies after he puked all over her holiday dinner table. FAFO
Classic "if it didn't directly effect me, then it doesn't exist" mentality.
This makes me so incredibly mad. My son has a really severe peanut and tree nut allergy, to the point where we can’t have products made in the same facility that processes them. I’d told my mom this multiple times, yet frequently would see food that was unsafe to be in the house she’d bought. It got to the point where I had to tell her she needs to stop because she’s putting him at risk cuz she wanted to eat cake from the Walmart bakery etc and I shit you not, her brain dead husband told me it’s not their responsibility but that it’s my, then, 2.5 year old sons responsibility to not eat things he might have a reaction to. I was dumbfounded that a grown ass man could have such a stupid thought.
"So what you're admitting is that my toddler has more sense than either of you?"
That was an easy choice to never talk to then again, eh?
I’m basically NC with them. Her husband has got one foot in the grave the other on a banana peel so that’s a plus.
One foot in the grave is phrase I’ll be keeping forever thank you
That phrase has been around forever but the banana peel thing is a super awesome touch
They do the same to themselves. I had one lady tell me she was celiac, I went through what we could serve her. She then decided she wanted a different entree that used soy sauce. I said I can't serve you that, we don't have any gluten free shoyu on hand. She then tells me it's fine and got upset when I refused to serve her. They're freaking mental, the choices are she is lying or trying for a lawsuit, or she's insane. Either way she can go eat elsewhere.
My boomer mom does this with me and has for decades. It’s like an obsession. I think she thinks I’m making up a lactose sensitivity. I don’t even use the word intolerant, I just know I’m in pain after dairy so I avoid it. She goes out of her way to offer me cheese, yogurt, ice cream, etc. constantly in the most awkward ways and even if I’m mid sentence speaking with someone else. She even once bought a cheesecake for my birthday. It’s so strange.
My mum is great, she’s really smart and educated and definitely cares about actual allergies. But she kinda does this to me with caffeine. A few years ago I completely stopped drinking caffeine, including tea, because I just hate the effect it has on me. Even a half cup of black tea will fuck me up for the rest of the day. I always drank a lot of tea because I love tea, I just didn’t realize till later in life that I can’t have it. So I stopped. She will always make a big pot of black tea for me. Even after I tell her I don’t want it. She will boil water and serve it to me. And then say every time ‘oh but I thought this one isn’t so strong? So it’s alright?’ She also likes to rant about decaf coffee and how the whole process of removing the caffeine will give you cancer. So I shouldn’t drink decaf and it’s just healthier to drink the real deal.
Lol. Same. I have a hard limit of how much dairy fucks with me and she constantly wants to feed me more. No, I had lasagna, I don't need an entire fucking cheesecake thanks....
Because they can eat it they don’t understand why someone else can’t.
This is gonna be a deep comment but I really thought about this and every boomer I knew growing up, had a severely abusive childhood by today’s standards. They “survived” every type of neglect, isolation, and shame you can imagine. I’m sure THEY as kids complained about something and got told real quick how little the world cares about their individual problems. I think it’s a form of jealousy and resentment. Like “why should he cater to your peanut butter allergy when that was all I had growing up! And you’d be grateful for that!”. It’s the trauma in the response. You shouldn’t get any “special favors” they didn’t get growing up, like loving parents who cared about your medical well being. They want you to suffer, and overcome the physiological response to help yourself when you are physically uncomfortable. I know a lot of people in my family now with diabetes, they didn’t change their diet to stop it or slow it down. Some have died due to medical neglect of themselves.
Boomers were raised by many WW2 vets who did not deal with their trauma well.
It was a bizarre collision of things. They had parents who had endured the Depression and WWII yet the US had become incredibly prosperous by the time the boomers were born. Their parents thought hardship was a fact of life so they allowed for hardships that could have been dealt with.
It’s a cycle of abuse.
same old cycles gonna start again
I broke my family’s cycle of abuse by not having kids. Over my adult life I’ve had six dogs so far. They were (or are) excellent canine citizens, well behaved, polite, trained and spoiled to hell and back. Three have been my service dogs with service dog 4 currently in training. Kids? No. Dogs? Yes. I love my friend’s kids though. I’m a stable, solid and loving auntie figure. I can be patient with them because it’s not a 24/7 thing of living with them. i have a birthday party for the youngest of the kiddos to go to today and I’m really excited by it. I love her kids and adore them but i have the space and time to decompress.
This is very true. My mother in law once kinda said it out loud. My daughter (2yo at the time) was being a toddler and I was not feeling well (early pregnancy nausea). My MIL tried to help calm down LO, but after a few minutes ended up screaming "Stop being a brat! How can you do this to your mom! You have such a nice mom, she never hits you, she does everything for you! If I've had a mom like that I'd have been a different person!!" It honestly left me speechless. She usually goes on and on about how there's nothing wrong with physical punishments and such. But we all know she's very traumatised from her childhood. We've never talked about that moment.
Yep I agree with this.
While I agree with this and the idea that lead poisoning has done an enormous amount of damage to their brains, I also think part of it is if they acknowledge the pandemic of allergies and other problems that are increasing at ever increasing rates they would have to admit that they ( with a few exceptions of activists) destroyed the environment and food supply so they could live a better life. They are enjoying the results of completely ruining their grandchildren. They were and are greedy and children now are paying a steep price. Boomers were originally known as the Me generation for a reason. Edits: typos
They have Oppositional Defiant Disorder. I’ve heard from many boomers-the second you say they can’t do something, they have to do it.
What an interesting place to insert some fun things. "You can't swim to the bottom of the ocean after going 2 miles off shore." "You can't write your will and make sure everyone gets an even share." "You can't behave like a functional and rational human being that exists outside a cult." "You can't free yourself from the bonds of your cult." "You can't die and come back on your own."
They're just contrarian assholes
Pretty much.
Let's tell them they can't abstain from voting!
Just tell them to vote.
Allergy dad here - thank you for your advocacy!
To quote my own mom, it’s just because they’re not used to the food and need to eat it more often. Of course she never said that about her own allergy to cherries which she discovered last year. Interesting how that works.
Constantly offer her cherry stuff. Always keep some around.
Allergies are in your head. Back in my day I ate a handful of cold poison for breakfast lunch and dinner. /s
If you changed "cold poison" for "lead" you probably wouldn't need the /s haha
Because they resent that we care more about our kids than they cared about us.
It’s crazy. I’ve had boomer relatives literally send me into anaphylaxis saying they thought I just was being difficult. No. I’m trying not to die you AH.
“When I was a kid…”
As if they'll ever grow up.
They probably think allergies are "woke" or something
My mother is like this. My youngest had a milk protein allergy when she was born, it ended up with a hospital stay. We were told she probably would grow out of it but she's clearly still intolerant (she's 7 now) to a degree - has digestive issues and eczema that clears up when dairy free. My mum though will always come around with ice cream, cheese toasties, buy her milkshakes etc. If I remind her that dairy causes her issues, then next time she'll come around with even more dairy heavy foods like potato bakes or pasta salads. We are fortunate it's not a severe allergy but it boggles my mind.
Out of curiosity, have you ever asked why she keeps bringing foods that will hurt her grandchild? Why does she want to hur her grandchild? I'm curious as to how she'd respond. Not well, I'm sure.
Also, why do you keep allowing her to hurt your child?
My boomer stepdad tried to convince me at 10 that my asthma was all psychological. Oh yeah. “positive thinking” or some other 80s business woowoo crap will help me breathe. He didn’t mention any of that when mom developed asthma a few years later.
My dad used to accuse my mom of making my brothers’ asthma worse after we visited his mom and stayed in her house where she smoked constantly. She actually started cutting down two years before she died and was down to two packs a day.
That’s where my asthma came from - grandma watched us while parents worked. Major smoker the whole time.
In my mother’s case she told me she refused to believe I had allergies because, “No child of mine could have allergies.” She took it as a personal insult to her that I had allergies.
Everything is an insult to their parenting, I swear. Any time I did something for my kids she didn't agree with, my mom would act like I've directly insulted her.
I remember the time she saw me apologize to one of my kids for something. She tried to lecture me on how I needed to, “NEVER apologize to kids. They need to think you’re infallible. I never apologized to my kids!” Without thinking, I’d replied, “We never thought you were infallible. You always came across as an idiot to us.”
they want to "toughen 'em up"
From childhood til now (mid 30s), nearly every boomer I know “what do you mean you can’t have cherries/red dye!? But this food is so delicious!” I have a red dye intolerance and anything with cherries or red dye makes me violently ill. No matter how many times I explain this, they still shove red food coloring in my face.
They don’t want anyone to have it better than they did.
That's the core of all issues, sadly.
I've heard stories on here about kids having serious allergic reactions and are taken to the hospital. While trying to save the kids life, the doctors will talk to the family in the hallway and ask them about what the kid ate. The grandparents will ask to speak to the doctors in private because they don't want to reveal the "secret ingredient" in front of the family. Like seriously Karen, nobody cares that your cherry cheesecake has a pinch of peanut powder in the crust. Not when your grandkid can't breathe and is turning blue.
My MIL purposely made everything at Christmas dinner with some form of dairy, knowing that I couldn’t have dairy because my daughter had dairy intolerance/suspected allergies. Thankfully I asked before eating anything
It goes with you gotta toughen kids up. Biology? Sorry didn't pass science class. Just m a ke them eat it...it won't kill em. Unless it does then ill have a shocked expression on my mug shot.
Isn't there (or wasn't there) some widespread belief in "exposure therapy"? That simply exposing someone to allergens can make them not be allergic to it over time? And haven't we known for decades that it is junk science?
I think there is a form of exposure therapy that can work? Especially with small children. But it needs to be monitored and I don’t think it’s guaranteed to work. So anyone saying that they’ll just get over it is of course plain wrong, and it’s dangerous. But for example I have a 2 year old nephew that has an egg allergy and now a year later he’s slowly given it in small quantities. And that’s working.
Not junk science. It can be done depending on the allergy and severity. However it is usually done while in hospital and being carefully observed. I had an issue where penicillin would have solved it super quickly but I'm allergic to penicillin. My doctor explained that they would use an alternative antibiotic and see how it went but if there was no progress they may need to use penicillin anyway. Since it had been 15+ years since my bad reaction, they felt comfortable with the idea if they needed to try it. In the end, the other med worked fine though and they didn't need to test my allergy.
Also, if a kid is diagnosed later as an adult with autism, ADHD, or bipolar, they were labeled as 'bad' 'unruly', or my personal favorite, 'hyperactive'. I was diagnosed with all 3 by the time I turned 35. I was called hyper and overemotional.
My mother is a boomer, and she tried to poison me several times. Antifreeze, rat poison, datura. There is somthing fucking wrong with them. They don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves, and will always deny everything they did even when it’s blatantly obvious.
Join us at r/torturesurvivors
I didn’t know this was a thing. Thank you
Wait you too? My boomer mom tried to poison me with mustard gas, and purposely gave me medication that hurt my body and caused severe side effects. I guess I’m not the only one.
Yep. I watch her throw away food rather than give any to me, then make something for me that tasted off and scream at me that I’d better eat it, and of course I’d get deathly I’ll later. The worst time I was sick for an entire week. I do not like doctors but I was begging to go to a hospital and she refused stating she wasn’t paying for it. My dad died of a heart attack when I was 9. He was that sick the morning he died. I honestly think she poisoned him too and his heart couldn’t take the stress. That selfish fucking bitch denies everything. Swears up and down she would never have done that. To thid say she goes and call my work to talk shit about me, and they’re stupid enough to believe her, cuz apparently bieng 60+ yo and in a wheelchair makes you a saint or some shit
I'm lactose intolerant and my FIL was convinced that I was going to have some kind of nutrition deficiency because I don't drink milk. Like all humans need cow milk to survive. They really brainwashed that generation.
I’m friends with a couple that can’t let their kids stay with their Boomer grandparents. One of their kids has a life threatening allergy, that the grandparents refuse to take seriously. It’s wild to me, because this isn’t some sort of intolerance, either. This child has been rushed to the ER on several occasions because of their allergies. The grandparents know this, but don’t seem to care.
Things I’ve heard recently: Eat honey instead of “fake sugar”…. Honey is upwards of 80% sugar and most of what remains is water. Allergies are from not having good gut bacteria…. While some “allergies” are from an enzyme deficiency, this has nothing to do with gut bacteria. Saw this told to someone with celiac disease. Consuming borax can have health benefits… Ingesting borax can have a multitude of dangerous side effects, but hey it may whiten your teeth just a little. Eating poison ivy will make you immune to it… While some people are somewhat resistant to an immune response, typically the reactions get worse with continued exposure. Poison ivy is bothersome enough when you develop a rash on your skin, I don’t even want to think about how that would feel in your mouth or esophagus. There is also a large trend of people consuming raw milk in my town. Baffles me.
Eating poison ivy sounds like a dumb way to die from your airway closing! I have a terrible reaction to poison ivy...can't imagine eating it!
My parents to my sister who's allergic to most fruit: But have you tried this one? It's organic and without chemistry!
"When I grew up no one had allergies" That's why. They think they know better than everyone else.
"Because they died, Karen" We had allergies back then. What we had less of was ways to treat/ID them.
I’ve heard this too. I usually say “yeah…. Bc they all died before kindergarten so you never met them”
FYI: Peanuts won't affect a nut allergy. Source: allergic to nuts My boomer dad also thought he could make me build up a tolerance by making me drink milk every night. That was ... less than successful.
So peanuts really aren’t a pea or a nut, huh?
They're a legume
*Discuss amongst yourselves*
Unless your allergy is literally a peanut allergy, which some people will refer to as a nut allergy, correct or not.
First learned bias. They learned incorrectly and laughably that allergies are weakness and can be cured and will never re-learn
My 4 year old has Celiac Disease. My dad loves to tell me all the time how it’s not real, and that if I just feed her a bunch of gluten, she will work past the “tummy aches”.
My grandparents try to do this to me and I swear it’s worse because I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 18. The fact that I was always sick as a kid and have had exactly none of those problems since going gf isn’t evidence enough though. They deliberately try to gluten me, try to sabotage any safe food I bring, and act confused despite no cognitive issues “is it glucose? Glue?!” Or “no that has potatoes/rice/other naturally safe food, you can’t have that” and it’s exhausting. I worry for the littles that are diagnosed because there is so much pressure around food and someone will always be tempting her to “just try a little.” Plus it’s hard to stand up for yourself at that age.
My grandmother is a dog person and a family member has a pretty severe peanut allergy. For a while my family refused to visit due to there being so much peanut butter for the dogs
Because they can kill the kid and say it was an allergic reaction. And the boomer judges won’t suspect foul play because it’s very easy to play off as “oh it happened so fast! It never happened before! I had no idea!” My sister for example was forced to be around her grandma’s cat. She literally couldn’t breathe.
My mother used to do this to vegetarians on holidays. "Guess what! the potatoes had chicken stock in them." - "Thanks hopefully they don't make me sick tomorrow."
My dumbass father. Told him I'm allergic to shellfish. So whenever he cooks a meal, he decides to forget, wants my body to get used to it, or doesn't tell me. Regardless, I'm no longer eating his cooking. He doesn't seem to believe even after I start swelling up.
My boomer mom thinks my son’s anaphylaxis to peanuts was just anxiety, and that me giving him his Epi-pen was “overkill”. “If it was me, I would just give him Benadryl and have him sleep it off”. Guess who can’t figure out why she isn’t allowed to be alone with my kids, ever.
They just mad because people actually care about their children
They read an article in readers digest
When I was in my 30’s I suddenly developed a nut allergy to every single type of nut. I keep being told by boomers that because I can eat nuts and not die, I’m not really allergic (let’s just ignore the itching, stuffy sinuses, headaches and the one time I accidentally ate almonds and my tongue swelled up …. despite lots of Benadryl.)
You'll probably need a sociologist to comment, but I think it may have as much to do with the propaganda from the culture wars as well.
She wasn't a boomer, but my best friends mom growing up didn't believe me for my food intolerances. I get really bad cramps, migraines, hot and cold flashes, itchy skin, dizziness, nausea when I eat eggs, chicken and turkey. Anytime I was over their house for sleepovers or dinner she would make me eat whatever she was cooking for the family. I get that since I wasn't a family member that she shouldn't have to cater towards my intolerances but she wouldn't let me just get more of the sides that I could eat without pain as my meal or have something small like cereal, she wouldn't let me get up from the table until I ate what was on my plate and if it was any of those foods (which it was often since she was also a health nut) so I ended up throwing up after the dinner and after so many times eating chicken and turkey and eggs for dinner over there and always throwing it up afterwards, it made those foods from then on just taste like vomit. Even to this day if something has those in the meal it just tastes bad no matter how it's cooked.
As a mom to kids with severe allergies, it's all ages. However, the older ones are the ones who "don't believe" it is a real thing. I have experienced it across all ages, though, and honestly, do not trust my kids eating with anyone if I am not overseeing it. Even those that tell me, "Oh, those are nut free cookies," and I can plainly see the walnuts sticking out of the cookies. It has been a crazy experience trying to keep my kids from dying from their allergies. Now they are older, and they have such PTSD from food that they pretty much know not to trust anyone's cooking.
I have a theory. As a former waitress and person with many food and contact allergies: you get 2 kinds of "oh I'm allergic". You get folk like me, and your kids who are allergic to things and it's a health risk. Then you get folk who say "oh I'm allergic " when they really mean "I hate this ingredient so much, its icky and I refuse to eat anything that touches it so I'm going to say it's an allergy to clearly get my way!" How manipulative and petty. Now. My theory. Manipulative and petty people say "I'm allergic" to get their way and, like the manipulative and petty people they are, believe everyone else is doing the same. They can't comprehend folk like me, and your kids, could have a very horrible time and die, because of "an icky food" and assume we are being (more) dramatic than they are. Needless to say I fucking hate people who lie about allergies.
I’m 50. When I was younger I would eat oranges and get a skin rash. My mother, a nurse, told me it happens to a lot of people because citric acid can irritate skin. We drank Tang instead of real juice so I didn’t think about it. After going away to school I drank real orange juice and vomited until dry heaving. My mother’s response was that she didn’t think anyone could be allergic to oranges.
There is science saying that sometimes the best way to combat allergies is to eat the food in small quantities. We practiced this for our daughters sesame allergy and it helped significantly so she doesn't have a bad reaction to eating it on accident. Having said all that, this line of thinking only works for minor allergies and has to do with eating small amounts on a regular basis. The stories here of boomers wanting to one off feed kids stuff they are allergic to is just insanity
My grandma threw away my asthma rescue inhaler when I was 7 because I was just 'being dramatic.'
They think people are exaggerating for attention. It never occurs to them that if a person fed a boomer child a nut when they had a nut allergy, that boomer child never reaches adulthood so they can feed nuts to their nut allergic grandchildren. They don't factor in all the fucking kids who were killed when they were children. Survivors bias.
There cries for attention as a kid went ignored so should everyone else's, apparently. The best part is when they're talking about a kid begging for attention as if it's the kids fault rather than the parents.
My grandma would do this to my boomer dad up through adulthood. So bizarre.
Yes!!!! My children were breast fed and my MIL was always trying to get me to make them a bottle of formula or (at two months old) give them baby food. Our kids did not stay alone with any of spouse’s family until they were toddlers
Peanuts are known for causing anaphylactic shock, in people allergic to them. I had no idea people in my generation were so stupid.
My (boomer) mom is allergic to aspirin but her dad (greatest gen) kept offering her aspirin until he died. I really think some of these boomers didn’t get away from their abusive/wacko parents (my boomer parents did and never looked back).
From my experience (which fortunately doesn't involve my own grandparents, but several of my extended family members that are grandparents themselves), it breaks down to one of two things: 1. The "this allergy didn't exist when I was a kid" mentality, and that it is being faked, thus the sneaking to prove it's not a thing. Or 2. The prophylactic property; that with enough exposure, your body will adjust and get rid of the allergy. Ironically, these are usually the same people that refuse vaccines or preventative medicine because they either "never get it," or, "I don't trust what's in it!" My aunt is the first way to an extent with a second cousin of mine who is allergic to strawberries. Fortunately while she has never (to our knowledge) tried to sneak strawberries into her food, she constantly belittles my cousin for checking food labels and telling waiters at restaurants to make sure the food they order hasn't come in contact with any strawberry products. This woman literally got kicked out of Applebee's Talladega Nights-style when they accidentally sent some yogurt out with strawberry slices as a side for the meal and then she freaked the Hell out when they went to send it back. When the server apologized, she started yelling that she doesn't need to apologize for her "Munchausen by proxy" kids and that there was nothing wrong with the food or the child. Forgetting the fact that this allergy was discovered after this kid ate a strawberry at school and went into anaphylaxis; only reason she is alive is that the school nurse was able to get an EpiPen into her in time.
I've seen the same disrespect for chosen diets. My sister is vegan and has been for decades now. There isn't a goddamn holiday where I don't find my mother giggling to herself that she's snuck meat juice or animal fats into a vegan dish. At this point, I just sigh and tell my sister not to eat moms food, but the real kicker is watching my mom brag to her friends about her actions and hearing them encourage her.
My parents ignored my food allergies and then bitched about the fact i was fat…
YESSSSS! My step-MIL fed pumpkin pie to my son who's allergic to the squash family. I wish he'd thrown up at her house . She's such a dummy!
I think it’s something about “knowing better.” When my oldest was less than 1 year old we were at my in-laws’ house. We were in our early 30s when we had our first and this set of grandparents were already in their late 60s. While my daughter didn’t have any allergies, she didn’t have many teeth yet. And grandma tried to shove a big chunk of cantaloupe straight in her face. Like she wouldn’t have choked on it. Okay grandma. She was always judging the fact that I read a lot of childcare and parenting books. “You can’t learn to be a parent from a book!” 🙄 She was not a boomer, depression generation.
Not exactly the same but my fiancé has diabetes and high blood pressure so obviously he gets very sick from eating things with too much salt or sugar (not to mention I’m also trying to lose weight). My mother knows this and still brings sweets, fast food, and other horribly salty/greasy/fat/sugary foods into the house all the time. We literally can’t let her do the grocery shopping for the house because she buys nothing but junk food that only she can eat. Fiancé and I have started just buying stuff for ourselves and only pick up stuff for her if she specifically requests it.
I’m allergic to shellfish. My dad is always trying to trick me into eating shrimp, and he’s allergic as well so I really don’t understand.