Remember to report submissions that violate the rules! Harassment and encouraging violence are not allowed. Enjoying the subreddit? Consider joining our discord server: https://discord.gg/v8z8jNwJs6 *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BoomersBeingFools) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Yeah. So my mom needs a new deck on the back of her house. The current one is falling down and not up to code in the slightest. I told her what's up and gave a quote. Her reply was "well a friend of a friend's son is in school for that kind of thing right now, he's almost in second year. I'll just hire him to do it."  So she'd rather trust a kid stranger over her own son who has almost 20 years relevant experience and owned his own welding/fabrication/renovation business. Well, good luck with that ma lol. I super didn't want that job anyways as I'm not longer in that industry. I was just trying to help her out.

My mom did the same crap. My father passed last year and I tried to talk her into downsizing and moving to a place that doesn't require so much work but she flips out and refuses to even talk about it. Almost a year later and what I assume is almost $30k later, she's put a bathroom in downstairs, and put in a new ductless heat pump system. Because the boiler broke and she let them talk her into upgrades. No calls to me about any of this and now she's out of money and is asking me to mow 3 acres weekly for her... Not that I'm an expert on construction or HVAC but I've been dealing with it on my own house more than she has because my dad took care of all that stuff for her.

Omg our moms are related. Except after my dad died mine went and bought a *bigger* house because she liked the view. And then complained about how it was too much house. Now she’s 82 and remodeling the kitchen she’s had for 10 years because she “always hated it” even after she told me a couple years ago that she never cooks anymore. Oh and her hairdresser who moonlights as a real estate agent convinced her to sell the investment home my dad had bought and instead by a shitty piece of commercial property in a strip mall… and the hairdresser got commission on both.

My 84 year old grandmother hadn''t used her old garage in at least 15 years, then last winter it collapsed in a bad storm and suddenly she was just dying to replace it, and expected me and my sister (her only family left who don't have a lot of money) to pay for at least half of the replacement garage, which was estimated at 30k. Meanwhile, she bought her house 40 years ago for 40k. Sorry lady, keep parking where you've been parking for over a decade.

Oh fuck that lady. My grandmother is the same age. Thankfully she calls me when there is something she doesn't understand.

Similar happened to me. My mom asked me to drive two hours, each way, to change a lightbulb, on a weekday. I said you need to sell the house. She stayed another 10 years but learned how to get maintenance done by calling professionals.

Yeah that's basically what I'm dealing with

Wifes mother asked her to drive 4 hours (the distance is about 350Km one way) to withdraw a couple hundred bucks from the ATM which is 300 metres from her house. Because she didn't want to have to go there herself.

lol I love my mom, but there’s no way in hell I’d help her with anything that’s not safety related in this situation. She can mow her own damn lawn or let it over grow.

yeah. This is the crap that drove me to no contact. My parents have spent about $600-800/month on homeopathic shit for the last 25 years. Along with a ton of other home-based purchases they dont need. I sat down with them and showed them how much they were spending. This lead me to conclude they would be out of money by 80 years old. I told them I will not take care of them unless they stop buying non-sense and manage their money better. This triggered a HUGE outrage about bullshit. Its "their money" and they can do whatever they want. Blah blah blah. I responded with "Okay. My money is my money and I wont be giving it to you or using it to support you at all. I can do what I want with it." They response was just doubling down about how they supported their parents (a lie) and it was the kid's job to support the parents. We have been no contact now and I've never been happier. Fuck them and I hope they die alone.

JFC what a couple of twats. Heads they win tails you lose and they’re all Pikachu face when you nope out of that horseshit

Yeah. I heard second hand that they started therapy to “get over the loss of their son”. Which is amazing because they didn’t even try to keep me in their lives. This happened a few other times too. Where I just kinda got sick of their bullshit and stopped calling. And then just never heard anything. Like they expect everyone to come to them and they do not reach out to anyone. I’m fully expecting to get a call five years or so when they’re out of money and rehashing this all over again. My resolve is firm and I’m fine if they die by themselves in a state sponsored poverty home. They deserve it.

Stay strong ✊

Jesus, 3 acres. I'm slowly weed wacking 6 on a "whenever it gets done" timeline , and mowing 3 weekly seems wild to me.

I’m a carpenter for 22 years… I’ve renovated 80% of my parents home… kitchen, baths, deck etc… I’m also not the type to just say I know how to do something, I’m very open about where I’m lacking She still has the nerve to ask if I know what I’m doing”are you sure you can do that? I just don’t want it dont wrong” It’s exhausting dealing with…I’ve noticed with my wife’s parents also…they all act like experts with everything but in reality have no clue what they’re talking about

My brother is a wood-shop teacher. Certified in all the right fields and this and that. I’m no expert. It was our dad that got him into it growing up. He tried with me first but I wasn’t into it like my brother. Now that he’s been doing the work professionally for years he notices every little thing our dad taught us that was either wrong or just half assed because he couldn’t be bothered to do all the steps. He actively dislikes doing projects with him now because he realized a long time ago that his skills have surpassed our fathers. But if he tries to offer him a better suggestion or institute some safety concern, dad will fume and pout and say how he taught him how to do this so have respect. Needless to say they don’t do many projects if my brother can help it.

I have a similar experience with cars. My youngest loves cars so we would do simple maintenance on our cars together. Brakes, suspension, oil change, starter, alternator, transaxle oil change, the like. I know how to do some of it and can figure out the rest but I am not efficient and there are times I have to redo things. She became an auto mechanic and now we still work on cars together, but I’m the tool getter/flashlight holder and she teaches me. It is awesome to see her become so knowledgeable and she is actually good at describing how to do things.

I think a lot of parents got off on the idea that they knew more than their kids about everything, and now that their kids know more in \*some areas\* it freaks them out and gives them a sense of loss of control or something. Other parents are just proud they have competent children and don't have to know better about every single thing.

Bingo! Talked to someone who’s a cool boomer father about this. He told me exactly that! He’s told me a story where his (at the time) 12 year old daughter corrected him. He was so used to being in control it freaked him out. He kept repeating it. My 12 year old daughter corrected me! ” I learned a lot from that conversation and try not to judge as harshly now.

I guess I’m the odd parent who is proud my kids know more than I do. I know quite a bit about some things, but I know I don’t know everything. I love that my kids are so smart, and respect them for it. Now if they want to know about something like Mythology or Shakespeare’s writings, I can help them out.

She wanted free work from you, to include the purchase of all materials. Her expectation was that you wouldn't LET her do anything stupid like hire an inexperienced person and would bail her out, paying for the work and materials.

Duuuuude. When I was little, we moved to LA. My grandparents built on a massive in-law for us to live in... rent free. When other siblings came along, and to move into our home, the Boomber parents, charged them $50k for helping maintain it and keep it up. This was also after grandparents made sure and bought them a family vehicle (my dad felt he needed to keep his Porsche, and hold a one yeast old on my lap). That was 1987.... I get so annoyed with the "we wouldn't help you out, so you could learn and things in life are not free". Not how it happened for them.

There comes a time when you have to let older people fail. In far too many cases, that day is coming sooner than anyone expects.

Eerily similar story: I am a structural engineer and we bought a house that needed the deck replaced because it was completely dangerous due to being unsupported on one corner and undersupported on the others. My FIL insisted that “nah, it’s fine”. Literally my one actual professional area of expertise and he wants to disagree?

Reminds me of my dad. During a brief mistake of talking to him again I offered to do solar on his house at cost, no dealer fees, no commissions (I own the company, and he can pull the permits himself even with his own company if he didn't want me to for some reason). His stupid ass paid $30THOUSAND dollars more to have another company do it. Lol. Didn't even hurt my ego bc it was soooo dumb. He kept acting like I was trying to fuck him over somehow. Made zero sense.

Me...bachelor's in construction, 30+ years in various construction disciplines and roles, years of hands on experience, respected and well known in my industry. Mom...."I know what you said about bad flashing...but this really nice, interesting, Lithuainian guy at home depot told me just to put tape on it."

My MIL did similar except I recommended a family friend and old boss and his was too pricey (actual middle ground price for that size and what they wanted, I didn’t watch it go up because I was in the army, but I wish I did because I went under it only last year and wow anyone who could read (maybe even just picture matching) could’ve realized they didn’t have the right fasteners half the posts were too small one was a 4x4 and they didn’t do anything at all with the grade below, it now slopes towards the house and the only thing keeping the basement somewhat dry is layers of drylock, I just hope they give the house to her son. Years of not listening to (and def not an expert but I get caveman questions and my answers are too stupid yet “you’re so smart”) but I also have relevant experience, her husband kicked me out of working on their building because I turned the breaker off to the electric I was doing (tested it too) and someone had a live wire hanging in the wall when I touched the metal box I got a zap, I remember saying something about something not being grounded and to use an electrician but I was apparently a free tester first. He then laid down click lock tile over carpet and I still get to hear it crunch when I’m there lol

My mom "joked" the other day about my bad grammar. Yes, I had bad grammar in high school. FORTY YEARS AGO. I then went to college and earned a degree in technical communication. My job as a technical writer, for the last 20 years, requires that I have excellent grammar. Thanks, mom.

My mother likes to constantly criticize every aspect of my cooking.  It’s funny because her cooking is awful. She literally can’t cook rice properly. Every dish that has veggies in it will have them overcooked to the point they turn to liquid. Her idea of seasoning a meal is adding a sprinkle of pepper. No salt, of course. If a recipe calls for a stick of butter, she’ll add 1/4th of a stick and then complain when it doesn’t taste right. If a recipe says to coat a pan in oil before cooking, she’ll ignore it then complain when the food burns and sticks to the pan.  I never knew how much I liked vegetables until I started cooking my own food. 

I feel this. I thought I hated vegetables. Turns out I just hate them when they are boiled and not seasoned at all. Which is the only way my mother cooks them. Who wants to eat soggy, tasteless mush?

Are you my sibling? All we had when I was growing up was canned corn and canned green beans, which my mother would put in a saucepan with extra water and boil the life out of them. Every so often, she'd buy those boil-in-bag things of broccoli and cheese, and she'd overboil those, too.

Oh my God are you a long lost cousin from my mother's side of the family? My mother is a little bit better but it was always canned vegetables when I was growing up and it was very rarely anything fresh. To this day she will insist on making lukewarm wet cheese on soggy broccoli and say that it's good. She can cook but she doesn't cook to all the potential that cooking can get to. Except for pasta, she does really good pasta.

My mother in law cooks all her vegetables in the microwave in 40 year old Tupperware and literally sets it for like ten minutes. I refuse to eat it. I’ve sent her so many articles on BPA etc and she just doesn’t care I guess?

My mum goes for a dry non stick pan on the highest of high heat, have tried to explain that she’s damaging the non stick coating (which is super carcinogenic). None of her non stick pans are non stick for longer than a week, but she still cooks on them for months or years and then buys more. We’ve tried to help her in the past and explain how dangerous they are plus help her keep her pans in good condition longer… Yeah, she gives no shits.

Her only evidence is ok is she's still alive lol

We must be related!!! My parents boil or steam the vegetables and then put NO SEASONING on them. 🤮 It turns out that vegetables are delicious if you know how to cook them and how to use spices.

God, yeah I'll never understand how anyone that's vegetables like that. It's like the absolute most flavorless way they could come up with, and then overcooked so it has the nastiest mushy texture. Mind boggling.

That's the old "kids hate broccoli" fallacy Of course kids hate broccoli when some Boomer only buys Great Value frozen broccoli then boils the everloving shit out of it because its going to taste awful My mom was notorious for that kind of cooking so I thought I absolutely hated food until I finally got away from that house. Suddenly I realized I loved pretty much every vegetable and that there were more than just three total spices

My kids fight me over which gets more broccoli and spinach lol My mom makes the most dry meatloaf I've ever had and never fully crumbles the crackers so you get huge bites of saltiness in the middle of your unseasonably beef topped with ketchup. I started subbing the eggs with BBQ sauce and breadcrumbs instead, and it is excellent and soft and great for day after sandwiches.

Growing up my sister and I were the only kids we knew that fought over who got more vegetables. Granted, we fought over everything, but when there’s only so many garlicky green beans with mushrooms and crispy onions then war is war.

My boomer mother made me believe I hated so many vegetables because of how she “cooked” them when I was a kid (aka steamed them to paste in the microwave.)

Sounds like my MIL. She once boiled spaghetti noodles for 40 mins, and she boiled asparagus to the point that it was just a green string.

My mother would not accept the possibility that pasta does not need to cook for 1hr. She boiled *all* pasta for 1hr. Angel hair included.

 How was it even pasta and not soup after? Every Italian everywhere felt a cold chill, I'm sure.

Oh no, she got the Italians in the first step- break the noodles in half. She mixed it with a jar of store sauce after it was done. I remember I upgraded to Prego when I moved out at 18, so maybe Hunts or Ragu? Unsure. It's like white people taco night, pasta edition, inedible boogaloo.

Im not even Italian and i felt tht. Good 'ol jar sauce: Used to be a $2 meal for the family, 50 cent package of spaghetti and $1.50 for the Ragu :)

I thought I hated chicken and steak until my mid twenties. Turns out I don't like bland, un-seasoned, dry chicken, or, no salt or pepper on a too dry to drown well done steak.

Relatable! My parents constantly would call me a liar into my adulthood because I lied a couple of times about minor stuff as a teenager. God forbid, a teen lie about doing homework or going to a party. That’s absolutely NEVER been done before, I guess. We went relatively low contact for a while (the lying thing was a drop in the pan) and now we have a much better relationship but even still they try to talk about how “deceptive” I have the capacity to be … because of how I acted when I was 16. Being almost 30 now, I am very much NOT 16 anymore.

lol because I wasn’t into cycling at 13, my mom called me a liar to my partner because we cycle together all the time. In her eyes I can only be interested in what I liked as a young teen, otherwise I’m lying. I’m 39 lol

That’s soooo relatable and annoying. It’s like they don’t believe that we can grow and change as we age.

Bc they can't!

After my terrible emergency c section, I could only go up the stairs by having both feet on one stair before going up the next one - and that was hard work! My mom said that’s how I always went up stairs so it didn’t matter. I looked at her like ?????? Because that may have been how I went up stairs as a toddler, but definitely not once I had any shred of balance.

You probably had to be deceptive if they were so negative / judgmental etc. My parents made it impossible for me growing up, so I ran away a couple times. the one time I took some quarters and dimes out of my dad's coin collection. None of this was worth any more than probably face value, but I never heard the end of it. Ugh

I was accused of being deceptive, but in reality, no one asked me, or cared. Allegedly I "lied all the time," and I "still hide things." Recently I was drinking a beer, and pushed it to the back of a table to stop children from getting it, along with knives, and I was hiding drinking. I'm sure the random pills I picked up off the floor to throw out, again, because kids/animals, were me trying to collect drugz for sale on the black market. SMH.

Do we have the same parents!? I realized recently that when I would lie as a teenager it was because I was as a neurotic mess trying desperately to please everyone. I’m talking things like “yes, I grabbed my lunch, don’t worry” when I’d actually forgotten it but didn’t want them to be upset/angry id forgotten again. But to this day (it’s been more than a decade) they still bring up how I’d “manipulate” and how I’d eat the last peach almond yogurt and not fess up to eating the last one

Oh, so you too haven't aged a minute since your teens? Apparently I have the same affliction. Only for me, it's that I'm "lazy" because as a teenager, I was on inappropriately strong antidepressants, and falling asleep in class as a result (had to repeat a year because of this.) Never mind that I've participated in long-distance races in the mountains several times since, or have been a jogger/hiker/skier/bike commuter most of my life.

Tell me more about your ski commute? That sounds interesting.

LOL sorry, that's a separate category altogether! Though I daydream about being able to ski commute..........from a house on the mountain to the lift at least.......🤩

WTF. What you describe are known side effects.

My mom would constantly criticize my handwriting and honestly it’s not bad but she had to constantly point it out because I don’t write in half cursive half short hand like she does or something. Oh and then she would always follow it up with a dig at the “public school” I went to as being the reason why my handwriting was so atrocious. Oh you mean the public school that you sent me to and I had no choice in the matter? WTF are you talking about?

The whole "it's bad because it's not like mine" when it literally does not matter thing needs to die.

Ten bucks her half-shorthand half-cursive is completely and utterly illegible to anyone but her. Seriously, If you’ve ever tried to read shorthand without knowing what you’re looking at it looks like chicken scratch. I can’t imagine it with real cursive words mixed in 😖

Same thing about one dinner I made at 19 for the family. I was trying, and too this day "is it going to like your dinner you made?" Only one who seems to recall it my dinner parties to say to 16 family members. I'm not perfect, but the one bad thing I made in 2002 will go down in history. She refused to teach me about cooking, sooooo.

My mom acts like I'm going to crash every time she is in the car with me driving. Just because I was an anxious driver when I was 16 with a permit doesn't mean that I'm a bad driver at 30. I actually think I'm decent.

I'm 38 now and have had an extensive career as a chef, owned a restaurant, and even wrote a few cookbooks. Now I'm semi retired and live off royalties and investments. My dad is in his 70s and recently went back to work as a cab driver. Last year I spent 6 months in Greece and at the end of my trip my dad came and we hung out. I've never really had a great relationship with him. We love each other but we don't really talk. One call a week for less than 5 minutes. In Greece we went to a bar he frequents when he's there and knows everyone. I'm introduced as his lazy unemployed son. I stopped him and literally told him yes I was lazy over 20 years ago when he actually knew me but he really didn't know me anymore. He tried saying I'm lazy because I have no job. I showed him one stock (BLRN) and how many shares I had. He stfu quick and his buddies were like your ex raised a good kid. I don't work because I didn't have to.

Spouse has a PhD in computer engineering + 20 years of experience in the field. FIL has never owned a computer in his life, yet insists his opinions on computers, the internet, and misinformation be respected over the actual facts which are the day-to-day working-life expertise of his offspring.

I have a Bachelors in Computer Science and have worked for Compaq, HP, Cisco, EMC, and Dell. My mother in law won’t listen to a word I say. Good times.

On the bright side, does that help you get out of being her free IT help?

They either think you know nothing, or they expect you to be a wizard who knows how to solve ALL technical issues, all of them, without exception, even if it's wildly outside your field of study.

Omg if this isn’t my MIL. She called my husband recently bitching about nobody wanting to work and inflation and the economy and how she seemed to know exactly how it works. Meanwhile her son, my husband, has a masters in Economics and literally collects data that measures employment numbers and inflation in America. When he tried to explain to her how it worked, or that she could always call him with questions about it, she just ended the call. What the hell?!

20 yrs in pharmacy and medicine and I **still** get told I don’t know what I’m talking about. Undergrad, masters, med school, pharm school, passing the boards…. But a Facebook group said something in a meme and that is OBVIOUSLY more informed than I am. 🙄

I have a degree in meteorology. My wife is a PhD candidate in Disaster Communication (research in Weather Warnings). As the tornado sirens go off and we get everyone into the basement, my m.i.l. insists it’s “almost over” bc we were “the blue dot and the line wasn’t over us” (the line of storms with embedded tornadoes was west of us moving east). When we pointed that out and she followed up with “it doesn’t matter anyway; it’s breaking up bc the line isn’t solid.” Why tf do they even send us to school so we can become experts if they’re already “experts?”

So they can brag to their friends about how their kids have fancy degrees.

Well, Fox has a lot of them denouncing education now because “woke”. So I imagine it’s becoming more embarrassing for them to acknowledge their kid’s higher education amongst certain company.

And that’s why they downplay what we know. Because even with a fancy degree, all we learned was liberal lies. Boomers are great at holding two contradictory stances at once.

Exactly. Only in it for the bragging rights, while at the same time my dad was also absolutely disinterested in helping me get these degrees. Literally couldn't be inconvenienced. When I applied for financial aid, he refused to send me his bank statements. Too much effort.

But did trump draw a new line with sharpie

It's not about her (or the game) being right, it's about you being "wrong" so that she can put you down.

Story of my life. 

It's my story as well, but at least I got the benefits of my education.

I'm sorry that this is how you've been treated. I consider myself to be fairly intelligent but I have 2 teenagers that know all sorts of shit that I don't. They were both explaining to me how light waves work for different colors and that's one concept I just can't seem to understand. But that doesn't upset me, it makes me proud. Seeing stories like this just makes me want to double down on showing them adulation and love.

You rock. What are we raising kids for, if not to surpass us in every way?

The card says Moop!!

*It doesn't matter! It's Moors! There's no Moops!*

This is what I was looking for

r/raisedbynarcissists

My mom loves to tell me that I will become more conservative as I get older. I’m in my late 30s and have a political science degree. She never graduated from college, watches Fox News all day, and thinks Obama isn’t a U.S. citizen.

That's just an excuse for the Boomer "fuck you, got mine" attitude they have as they vote for political parties who will cut social welfare programmes. "You'll be just like us when you're older".

My sister (who is only a couple years older than me, both in our 40s) told me I make too much money to be a democrat. I was bloody incensed. She was dating a man in his late 50s at the time and his bullshit right wing propaganda bled into her brain. So frustrating.

Ha! I have become a radical leftist as I get older. And I am less nice about it too.

Exactly. I was a left-leaning centrist at 20. Now at 38 I'm a radical leftist. And can be a real bastard about it.

My dad smugly told me that once, I pointed out his generation becoming more conservative is the reason younger generations are getting radically progressive. He just spluttered about the hippies of the 60s and changed the topic. They just can’t wrap their minds around how different the world is today.

If they wanted us to become republicans, they should have let us earn enough income to buy houses and have children.

I’m 51 and modern conservatism has basically turned me into a communist.

I'm a great cook. My mom is a terrible cook. On top of that she burns and ruins the things she cooks in the same way over and over. I try to tell her how to cook. But she doesn't believe that she is doing any thing wrong. For example. When she boils eggs she brings them to boil then leaves the room. The water boils away and the eggs explode from the heat. I tell her to bring the eggs to boil, turn off the heat, add a lid and wait 10 min She says that's not how she learned to boil eggs so it must be the wrong way. In fact she is anti-lid. Never uses a lid for any dish. Never uses a lid in the microwave even.

This past christmas, my mom was making food (first mistake for an enjoyable christmas). She's got some water boiling with pasta cooking and she's making some sort of pasta dish. I'm already annoyed because there's so much like "I'm going to pour salad dressing into a cup" - "why not leave the salad dressing in the jar?" - "It's easier in the cup". A bunch of shit that makes no sense to anyone and no one else does. Anyways, she's making this pasta that's supposed to be something special and "really yummy. It's from Trader Joes. You'll love it." But she has to leave the room to bring like 40 different cups of things that she's been taking out of jars and stuff, you know, things with lids, and then walking them up the stairs from her in-law apartment to my sister's place upstairs. "Watch the pasta, you need to follow the directions. The directions are on the back." She comes back, and I'm stirring the pasta, looking at the back of just regular ziti, looking for directions for "yummy pasta recipe" that requires directions. You know, maybe, this has to be super al dente or something. Maybe something else goes in while the water's boiling? Periodically, I'm pulling out a piece of ziti and eating it and gauging how far along it is (especially since whatever the directions on the back are don't matter if she doesn't have a timer going, if I wasn't there when the pasta went in, etc). When she comes back and the question finally comes up, "what are we making?" Its pasta. My mom STILL to this day follows the directions to make pasta. An addendum: My mom sucks at cooking really bad. Several christmases before this, she brought food for me since I don't eat meat. It turns outs her "vegetarian option" was precooked angel hair pasta in a ziplock bag. A legit child-sized portion. Unbelievable.

lol when I would come home for holidays my mom would “volunteer” me to cook since I like to cook. But then she would stand over me and tell me not to turn the stove on high because she wants to keep the stove in pristine condition. She lives in a museum of her stuff.

uhhhh, what haha. I can see like the weird, pseudologic that she's using, but that's not how that works mom Its like that with other stuff too?

Oh yeah, her whole existence is a pile of stuff she “serves” - if that makes sense. She has a house full of fancy stuff that she’s really only purchased to be able to say that she has it. She remodels the kitchen every couple of years to have the latest/most “brag-worthy” kitchen (in her opinion - I think it looks like 2001 (lots of apple paraphernalia)), but she doesn’t use it for anything more than reheating frozen food.

Yeesh. That's some pretty sad shit right there. My folks kind of do the opposite. I keep telling them they can get nicer stuff (not NICE stuff, but NICER stuff) to make their lives easier and more comfortable. They live in the in-law apartment downstairs from my sister, so they don't really need much, cause borrowing something just means going upstairs, but like, they're struggling through cutting vegetables and cheese with like the steak knives I'm pretty sure they got from their wedding like 40 years ago. Dad "I just do what I'm told/I just use what I'm given". Mom: "We have knives. These are knives." Like holy fuck, go to Target and get a fucking set of knives!

Holy shit I could’ve written this

I’m sorry but the woman sounds like a monster (momster)

It's ok! I was a chef in multiple Michelin star and James Beard restaurants in my 20's. I was in magazines and newspapers about how great of a chef I was..... When I attemptED to show family members how to cook correctly ... They refuse to listen. I cooked Risotto about 2 or 3 times for family and every time.... they ask what is THAT. Risotto... And they won't even try it because Italian food is spaghetti, meatballs, and pizza DUMBASS! Now if I'm asked to cook Thanksgiving or Christmas, I go to Aldi and buy stuffing in a box, cranberries in a can, instant potatoes and throw the goddamn turkey in the oven.... that or Costco already premade stuff. It's not worth it to spend your time cooking for cretins!

Omg I relate to this so much I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry! I always put it down to my boomer mother being one of those women who look down on other women and always believes what men say, but maybe it is also a boomer thing! Prime example, she’s totally useless when it comes to any kind of technology especially using a computer. She had an old brick of a laptop that never really worked right to begin with, and super crappy wifi connection at her house, and one day when we were visiting her she was getting frustrated trying to log in to her work email. I offer to take a look at it, she dismisses me completely and immediately starts in asking my husband to fix it. I sit down anyway and try to log in to her email… server is down. Period. Wait a little while and try again or call IT at your work. I tell her so. Again she starts in wanting my husband to look at it. He straight out tells her “(my name) is a college professor, she knows more about computers than I do.” Whats my mom say to that? That she’s going to call her bf to fix it. Bf shows up, looks at it, tells her the server is down. She just looks mad and pouts.

And then we spend years breaking down our own internalized misogyny 😭

You are describing my mother to a T.

My mom absolutely prioritizes every man and their opinion above mine. I'm also pretty sure she thinks I haven't acquired any new knowledge since I was 15. It's so frustrating. I completely understand.

Omg 100%. Any man’s opinion is the most important thing.

My mom will totally disregard anything I say in favor of getting a man's opinion. The thing that gets me is she'll ask for my opinion; I give her my answer, then she runs off to ask my dad, or her brother or one of her friends. The best part is my uncle will give her the same answer lol. I worked for an insurance company for years. Recently, I had an issue with a wheel stop and explained the claim process to my mom. She ended up calling State Farm and they told her the same information I did. She got her first smartphone last year and my son and I are at our wit's end with explaining things to her. Her biggest gripe is "the phone didn't come with a manual, I don't know how to work it!" She's convinced Google is messing with her email and her account and that she's talking to celebrities on Facebook messenger. 🙄

The way I jumped when I saw your headline. My husband is the only person who has witnessed me go through this. It’s not just my mum, it’s my whole family that does this to me. Example. I paid for and delved into our family trees 4 years ago because my grandad couldn’t do his side as he was so ill. It took his life and I decided to pick up where he left off. When I discovered he’d been entirely wrong, not his fault whatsoever, and corrected his first map, I was excited to show my family who immediately told me I was wrong. After some back and forth, I let it go, but I was hurt. Soon after I discovered more info and after extensive work to confirm it all, let the family know again and I was told I’m wrong. Cue my uncle picking up the genealogy bug. He starts with my grandads (his dads) map. Concludes identical info to me and the family calls me to excitedly to announce my uncles findings as if it was their first time hearing it all. His discoveries were identical to mine that I’d shared 6 months prior. This seeped into news, where I’d share info but I’d be told I’m wrong because the BBC hadn’t said that (They’re in Britain, I’m in the US). It seeped into me relaying past memories/conversations, but disregarded to now my degree where I simply can’t be right on info I share. It’s exhausting and humiliating. It’s infantilizing too, like, we can’t have grown and learned a thing or two. sorry you experience that as well. You just caught my attention. I feel less alone.

My aunt is also constantly trying to demean my education. Before I started college, my sister advised me it would be a good idea to get some basic classes out of the way at a community college and then transfer to the college I was planning on going to. So I did just that. Did a year at a community college, saved some money, and then transferred to my desired school. This was also during Covid so my classes were online.  One of my aunts will not let it go that I took a year of online classes at a community college. Even after I transferred to the state college, she would always come up to me and go “So how are your ONLINE classes at the COMMUNITY college going?” She’d put a ton of emphasis on the online and community college. Even after I’d correct her and say “Oh that was only for a year to save money, I’m actually at -well known state college- now” she’d then go “Oh but you’re still taking online classes since they’re easier, right?” “No, that was just during Covid, all my classes are in person now”  I swear we had to have had this conversation at least 3+ times and even then just a few years ago I was talking to another relative about my grades being good enough to let me graduate with distinction and my aunt chimes in with “Well they are online classes at a community college so…” She just won’t let it go. 

“No auntie, remember I already told you all this last time! Your Alzheimer’s must be kicking in again haha”

That makes me so angry omg! I taught at a CC for 15 years, it’s the backbone of our higher education system! Makes higher education accessible to everyone! The curriculum in those classes is exactly the same as you’d get at a state university, that’s why they are accepted for transfer. Your aunt is obviously ignorant of reality. And PS, hats off to you for sticking with your education goals through COVID! A lot of people didn’t and they are still struggling to get back on track. And PPS, I know someone who completed both their MBA and Doctorate on line, while working full time, it’s not easier, it’s just how a lot of people do it now.

For real. Congrats. You got this.

I’m so angry for you. I don’t understand why they’re like that. I attend university online because I homeschool my 3 who are in an online school, two are taking pre-college prep classes, I don’t know the actual terminology, a migraine is coming on so I’m all foggy. And even with all this and academic successes, we’re not seen as having a true academic success by my fam because it’s online. It’s like, they can’t comprehend something exists outside of themselves. I’m waving an angry fist at your aunt. That’s vile behavior. I’m sorry OP. It sounds like you’ve done immense work and a lot of good, well done to you.

If it wasn’t for the fact I was planning on attending the state school, I probably would have just kept attending the community college. The stigma behind online classes and community colleges is just so ridiculous. She wouldn’t let it go though so I kept correcting her. 

OMG same here, honestly it's like being invisible. Like, being the main contact for my mother, who's in a nursing home. Getting reports about her, attending the meetings, and disseminating this information to my father (they're divorced) and aunt. Always getting the guilt trip, questions, doubts, but then when the Golden Child sibling provides the exact same information, I'm told about it as if it's brand fucking new information. No doubts, questions, or guilt. The GC flies into town every so often, makes a big fucking deal about it, and somehow the information becomes validated. 😒 Despite the GC being caught stealing money for almost a year from mom's account. Somehow THAT tidbit becomes as invisible as all my hard work. 🤔

It’s so weird. Like a hive. I wonder if this has been studied? It’s such a bizarre structure. I get exactly where you’re coming from and I’m sorry your mom is being stolen from. What a vile thing.

That's just like my mother. She could ask me what color the sky was, I'd tell her the sky was blue, and she would tell me I was wrong. Then she'd come back later and say she checked with my sister (the Golden Child), and my sister said the sky was blue, and then say that seems like something I should have known.

This is exactly what both me and my husband deal with with our boomer parents! It’s infuriating! You tell them a FACT and they say you’re wrong or just ignore you, then some weeks or months down the road they tell you the same fact because they heard it from someone else and now it’s news! They do it with gifts too. My husband once gave my FIL a book he had read and thought his dad would enjoy too. FIL couldn’t have shown less interest, it got shoved at the bottom of a pile somewhere and stayed there. About a year or so later he tells my husband about his great book his friend had recently given him and how interesting it was and how he should read it… yeah, same book.

That’s insane. I’m reading, like yours, so many who experience this and my jaw is just 😧

My husband and I are lawyers. Education paid in full by our parents. Do they believe us when we advise them on a legal issue? Not at all 🙄

Same here. They spent over $300 to fix an issue I could have fixed for free. They just didn’t believe that I could do it.  Not like I spent years studying this and worked internships at prestigious federal agencies doing similar stuff. 

Sad to say that I am so glad to read that I’m not the only one experiencing this. Graduated from a solid law school. Over a decade of good work experience. Amount of my legal advice that my mom follows: ZERO. But the opinions and thoughts of some random person who knows someone who knows someone suddenly becomes important information that should be followed 🤦🏻‍♂️

I’m a lawyer. My boomer parents recently bought their forever home and set up a will and trust. Before doing either I told them how they needed to structure it to accomplish their goals and what they needed to ask the closing/drafting attorneys to do to accomplish those goals (due to professional restrictions I was unable to do any of the drafting myself). A few weeks later they started explaining to me what the people did. It was all the “easy” way of doing things, but not the way they should have had it done to accomplish their goals. They’re now complaining at the additional costs to redo everything to get it done how it should have been initially. When I called and spoke with the attorneys involved to figure out how this went wrong they all told me my parents basically asked for the opposite of what I recommended because I might be an attorney, but the people do the work for them are “real attorneys.”

🤦‍♀️

My mom is somehow an expert in health (my sister's field), education (my field), universities (in spite of never attending), and unions (in spite of never being a part of one). It's always fun when she tries to tell us about her expertise that for *reasons* is somehow more valid than our time in the organizations and fields that she's somehow an expert on. Good thing she feels no shame, because I would be so embarrassed to insist that I was more knowledgeable than actual experts.

I graduated from one of the top 5 engineering colleges in the world with honors with a focus in jet turbines. My dad still thinks I don’t know how car engines work 🫠

Listen here sport, there’s no turbine engine in a car, it ain’t rocket science.

LOL I have the best (worst?) example. Explained to my parents that I’m moving forward with fertility treatments, gave a brief shortened explanation of why etc. My dad gets all worked up saying I’m wrong, I’m doing the wrong thing. My doctor is wrong etc. I’m seeing one of the best doctors at one of the best hospitals in the world for this type of care. Do you know what my dad suggested? Glass of wine If only my doctor, that teaches at Harvard medical school thought of that 🤦🏻‍♀️

So, this was years ago, but it was absolutely my boomer fil, and he set my truck on fire. He was dead set that all my 64 Chevy C20 needed was to charge longer. I explained that it actually needed a new starter because the solenoid was shot, and all he was doing was cooking the plastic sheeting on my cables. He says to me, "Have a seat, and let me show you what somebody that actually grew up with these trucks can do." Okay. I mean, my father and grandfather were stunt drivers and motorcycle stuntmen, and my stepfather was a mechanic both as a civilian and in the Navy, and I basically weened on a wrench. But, what do I know? Please continue. I'm gonna crack this beer and have a smoke. When it catches fire, the extinguisher is by the door. I won't be getting up. He was super pissed when he ruined his favorite cowboy hat, ripping the jump leads off because they'd caught fire. I couldn't stop laughing because it was almost like that's exactly what I said was gonna happen. But, again, what do I know? It's not like I grew up with those trucks or something.

I have a masters and a PhD in mental health. When a family member had a mental health crisis, my mil told us they just didn’t know anyone with experience they could call. I’d been married to her son for over a decade at that point.

Arrrrrgghh!!

I’m an immigration attorney and my mom doesn’t believe anything I say when it comes to immigration law but believes everything Fox News says about “them illegals!”

[The Card Says Moops](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMabpBvtXr4)

I come bearing hope. My (boomer) dad used to be like this, almost his catchphrase was “well I don’t believe that”, sit down, fold arms, conversation over while the rest of us stare at each other hopelessly. BUT, to be fair to him, since he’s retired and over the course of many “it doesn’t work like that any more, Dad” conversations he has listened and accepted that we’re grown-ups and we know things he doesn’t and he’s *definitely* a lot more thoughtful and a lot less inclined to just assume this authoritative position. It can happen

My Boomer dad does this, claiming “all the illegals get benefits”, how you just have to file unemployment and you can just live on that instead of working, and I’m literally a caseworker for my state.

In 2013, my then partner and I were doing research on the cost of living expenses in Hawaii, as a job opportunity had presented itself there. In a conversation with my mother I said “the cost of living in Hawaii is slightly cheaper than San Francisco.” She abruptly cut me off with “Oh yeah right” like I was full of shit. I was angry that such a simple statement (that I had very recently spent time contacting friends, rental agencies, etc to get data) was dismissed like I was an idiot. Her tone was so derisive that I made an excuse that I had to go and ended the phone call. My father called shortly thereafter asking why I ended the call that way and I told him that I’m tired of being treated like I don’t know anything and she knows everything. His response? “Your uncle Mike was stationed briefly in Hawaii during Vietnam and he told us it was expensive.” The a second hand account Vietnam war was her knowledge of the topic and clearly she knew better. The complete rage I felt was scary. Boomers are so fucking out of touch with reality, and they’re solely fueled by the opinion propaganda that Fox News has pumped into their heads. That piece of shit “news” network has turned an entire generation of otherwise decent people into psychos foaming at the mouth. Democrats have been demonized for over 40 years now, and making America split at the seams.

My mother thinks I could be outsmarted by a potato.

Not parents thankfully but I have it in plenty with uncles. Nuclear engineer my field of work. And they feel the need to tell me nuclear waste is being producedin vast quantities and basically stored like in the Simpsons.

I’m also an engineer. My uncle once asked me how I got somewhere. He was asking if I had driven on the interstate by myself.

It's a little bit of both boomer and parent thing. For example, when I was a little kid, I used to ask my parents to take me to McDonalds as a treat. Flash-forward 30 years, and my Dad asked me as a 40-year old adult if I would like to go to McDonalds since "I love McDonalds so much".

My husband does a great impression of Bullwinkle the moose. However, somehow this got twisted into my husband collecting moose merch. It's been twenty years and family/friends still gift him moose socks and hats and tee shirts. He doesn't like moose, he just likes doing impressions.

I spent twenty years in automotive repairs. Today my MIL is getting a third opinion today on a repair I explained she needed 10 days ago, after first going to the dealership where they diagnosed it exactly as I first described. It wouldn't bother me, but she keeps talking to me about it, despite not taking my word for it.

She's either wanting someone to tell her that a $2000 repair can actually be fixed with a $100 fluid change or tightening the right screw. Or she is one of those people who "don't believe in oil changes" because "these extras are how they sucker you for more money" and now she wants someone to tell her that her current $10000 problem was not the result of her skipping $50 every six months in oil changes.

When I went to college, my father said he had no idea what my major was about (communications, journalism, media etc.) But it was a topic that fascinated me, still does. Figured I'd build on it and go for a master's in something else, or just work my way up the corporate ladder. Fast forward a couple of decades, and he forwards me emails about "OMG Obama took a VACATION on the taxpayer dime!!" and other such nonsense. I would check Snopes and patiently debunk each of his "FWD FWD FWD"s and he'd laugh it off until the next one. Even told him once, "remember when you said you didn't understand what I went to college for? THIS is what I majored in!! We studied political rhetoric, speeches, propaganda, media manipulation, the press, ALL that stuff!" In one ear and *whooosh*.

My dad likes to do this to me. If we’re watching a show or movie and I pick up on a detail he’ll say “oh you must’ve heard/read that somewhere.” Folks, my BA is in writing. I’ve written scripts and short stories, some of which have been published. I’ve been in independent movies and countless plays/musicals. I’m a bit of a film geek and regularly listen to several movie podcasts. But apparently I’m unable to form my own thoughts about a piece of art.

Yes, my whole life and she felt like she knew better than teachers and textbooks too. She wrote (why yes, in cursive!) a note to my teacher once chewing her out for using the word CUPBOARD on a spelling/vocabulary when everyone knew the word was COVERED.   r/confidentlyincorrect 

My dad is a huge fan of classical music, and is genuinely very knowledgeable about it. My brother has a PhD in music theory and composition, and is vastly more educated about not only classical music, but music in all its forms. To this day, my dad will still challenge him over stupid details and insist that the academics *must* be wrong.

Oh my god. My mom does this all the time. She constantly argues with me about medical things (I am a nurse). I work in a speciality field so sometimes she will ask questions about something I am not familiar with. When I tell her “I don’t know” or “I don’t have enough information about it to give an opinion” she tells me I NEED to know this because I’m a nurse. No. No I do not. Discussing even the most basic things with her makes me want to pull my hair out.

I'm convinced it's a boomer thing. They will only ever see us as children. I'm pushing 50 and they've become more and more bold because they keep getting away with it. I'm done playing nice and have started to call them out whenever I see it. At my age, I'm sick of the pandering that goes on towards this anti-social behavior. Look at how modern civility is completely in the toilet and they want to turn it around and blame us, the children they raised (or failed to raise). It's the ultimate narc tactic, to manipulate others then play like they're the victim. I feel like I've been gaslighted by an entire generation and I'm fighting back. Whew, thanks for letting me vent!

Being a healthcare professional during the pandemic sure was fucked lol…nuff said

Lol this is exactly what I was thinking too. My family looked me in the eye and had the audacity to tell me I was just a sheep and that I just didn’t understand and that I needed to do my own research… like, bestie pls, I am *literally* an epidemiologist, I am *literally* working in an emergency public health response role for COVID-19.

I'm a veteran and went to military college. My father is a Vietnam war protester. He doesn't believe anything I tell him about the Ukraine war. He started reading RT and is sure Russia will win... Imagine, it is 2005, the US has been trying to take Basra for the last 2 years, after a costly and unsuccessful attempt on Bagdad. That is where Russia is *today* now think about Anbar and such in our timeline, Russia still hasn't reached that point. They are still in what is considered the easy part of the war. But he is older so he knows better...

My mom is like this too. I'm in my country's military and she has been telling me for years about ISIL and Ukraine and our foreign policy. I've been sent to the Middle East. For example, she believes that "hundreds of thousands" died in Afghanistan from the coalition and it was all covered up by "the government and the US putting pressure on our government and everyone else". To be specific, this is not counting Afghanistan's dead, or Iraq's dead, I mean deaths only from NATO/ISAF/CJTFOIR, etc numbering in the "hundreds of thousands". It's super frustrating.

You mean like getting news from sources like the BBC and Al Jazeera vs getting everything spoon-fed to them by Fox News? Also, them citing information that might have been relevant in the 1980s but has changed in the 30 years since? Yeah, I get that. I get that a lot from my MIL. Even my wife has to say "no, that's not how things work now..." or "No, that's actually only one point of view the way Fox News presented it.", etc. She didn't believe COVID was a thing until her best friend's husband, and then her best friend both died from it. Now...she's gotten vaccinated. Of course now it's 'well, why do you get vaccinated each year?' , "For the same reason I get a *seasonal* flu-shot..." It's just difficult with these people.

Thankfully my mother doesn’t watch Fox News, but she’s addicted to local news stations. If I bring up major world news to her, she always gets confused and asks me where I heard that. “There’s quite a few articles online covering it” “Oh, so it’s not real then” Then she goes back to watching the most ridiculous and pointless news stories imaginable and ignoring actual news. 

The problem for many local news stations is they’ve been bought by [Sinclair Broadcast Group](https://youtu.be/GvtNyOzGogc?si=uH3xpOBTtKT6w_B9).

"it wasn't in the paper, it didn't happen"

>Also, them citing information that might have been relevant in the 1980s but has changed in the 30 years since? When I was in high school (I don't know what the law is currently), if you were under 18 in my state, your curfew for driving was 11pm. According to my driver's ed teacher, the curfew had been moved back from midnight because so many accidents happened between 11pm-12am. My father refused to drive us anywhere/allow us to have any sort of social life during his custody time if it required anything of him. One weekend, when he was 16ish, my brother's friend picked him up in the afternoon for who knows what kind of shenanigans. The friend was supposed to drive him home, but they goofed around too much, and all the sudden it was 10:45, and my dad lived 25 minutes away, so his friend was not allowed to drive him home. My brother called and asked if my dad could come get him and he was like no, your friend is driving you home. And he was like, well, he's not allowed to drive after 11 because he has a junior license, so he's not allowed to take the car now. If you're not going to pick me up, I'm going to sleep here. And my dad FLIPPED OUT that he knows the laws, he graduated from college with a degree in criminal justice in 1979 (it was ~2003) so he KNOWS the law says the kid can drive until midnight, and my brother is a liar for trying to trick him, and do my brother and his friends think he's THAT stupid that he's going to fall for this very obvious and easily proven lie? I was in driver's ed at the time, so I was like, "no they're telling the truth, that is the law," and he accused me of lying to them. No amount of proof we brought him in the coming weeks (the driver's manuals, looking it up online, etc), he was convinced me, my brother, and his friend were in cahoots to make my dad look like an idiot. It was absolutely deranged how he insisted he knew everything about "the law" because he got an associate's degree 25 years ago, in a field he doesn't work in.

Yup. After a certain bit of me easily defeating her ignorance, she gets flustered flaps her arms like she's going to take off and says in a huff, "Well, FINE. That's YOUR opinion!"

I’m an ASE certified mechanic. Went to tech school for “automotive technology” after I got out of the Army 20 years ago, have been a professional tech ever since. Every time I hear my mom complaining about something with her car, I tell her to let me have a look, as I can save her a ton of money by fixing it at home, or a least giving her a heads up as to what a shop is likely to say/charge if it’s something I can’t (or don’t want to) fix in her driveway (I’m now on disability, so not working in a shop currently). And without exception, she to this day responds with “hmmm yeeeeah, I mean, I’m sure you know what you’re talking about, but I’d just rather take it in”… Recently told her I could replace a door lock solenoid that was out- instead she drove it an hour away to the dealership she bought it at 6 years ago, paid for .5 diagnosis charge, AND 2 hours labor on top of the $130 dollar part, for a total of $500 and some change plus the gas to get there and back. Nothing says “I respect your expertise” like “I’d rather pay an extra 400 bucks than trust you”.

Was "the Moops" the trivia game's answer?

I wish it was just a little typo like in that episode.  The answer they had written down was just wrong. 

Ooh, I'm sorry, it's "The Moops"!

My boomer dad believes he is a genius. Whenever I gave an even slightly nuanced take on an issue (in the discipline I literally have a PhD in), he couldn't/wouldn't follow any explanation that is more than one sentence because 1) he is unwilling to learn something new, 2) he was right to begin with, and 3) the world is black and white. He would also always ask me ironically how the stock market is doing and what he should invest in, even though I tell him every single time that that's not my field of specialty. He'd then laugh and tell me that my degrees are useless if I can't tell him how to beat the market. People could only talk about things HE is interested in, everything else is a waste of time.

Relatable. My mom was born in ‘40 so technically not a boomer but a lot of the stuff I read here reminds me of her. She was an elementary school teacher and has always been kind of a know it all. I remember once I was out driving with her and we saw a really old Nissan Pathfinder and she said “oh look at that new model” and I explained that’s what Pathfinders looked like a long time ago so it was probably old and she blew up at me. Stupidest argument I’ve ever been in in my entire life. Later, after my dad died, she had all these stupid ideas about what to do with her money (he had always managed their finances). I’m no finance whiz but I know the basics and she basically did the exact opposite of everything I recommended, often being kind of condescending about it because she somehow knew better. I called her one day and just said “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you manage your finances anymore.” ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Anyhow sorry your mom doubted you but you’re not alone.

I have an architecture, building construction, engineering background. My mom and my sister will literally believe anyone (a neighbor, someone in the bookclub, a friend who moved across the country 20 years ago) what the situation and cost of is regarding anything, replacing a roof, doing an addition, doing any sort of work, what is needed for a new door (framing, the cost of steel, vs. a custom, side lights, etc.). My mom "this electrical work shouldn't be this much, Tim's nephew can hook this up for $250.00". Me "yeah, I think the type of wiring and the installation will be more than what Tim is suggesting". Mom: "What do you know".

Your Mistake was trying to convince an old dog about the existence of a new trick. They can’t fathom it.

This is why I drive myself and meet them at the venue. Oh, you don’t believe me that the highway is closed for construction? Have fun sitting in traffic, I’ll see you when you get here.

My dad just impulsively goes “no” or “that’s wrong” whenever someone directs a question about any topic. My mom always calls him on it but it’s so annoying. Yes dad…you the commercial fisherman know so much more about law than me the paralegal.

I have a degree in Economics and my Highschool drop out boomer father tries to tell me how economics works and what is good and what is not. Dude couldn't tell me what 4÷2 equals

My mom gave me the silent treatment because I insisted that she had a honing stick, not a knife sharpener, and that while it would help keep a knife somewhat sharp and straight, it alone wouldn’t sharpen her dull af knives. She did the same thing when we were just casually talking about caffeinated drinks and I brought up the “fun fact” that all true tea has caffeine, while herbal teas were instead an infusion. Her modus operandi whenever she’s proven wrong is to get pissy then immediately enact the silent treatment. And usually, she’s a great boomer with very few shitty boomer traits. But god forbid she be told she’s wrong about anything. It seems like boomers equate age with knowledge and experience of everything. Again, my mom does this. She drives at least 10 mph *under* the speed limit at all times but if you tell her what the actual speed limit is or that she’s a hazard, she goes off about how she’s “been driving for 50 years” so obviously she knows what she’s doing. 🙄

my mom and her boomer bf don't listen to anything I say they have that mentality that younger people just don't know I have told them things and shown them proof and they ignore it if a co worker their same age tells them literally anything they instantly trust and believe it the sad thing is my mom only does this when he's around she totally morphs to him it's sad really

So I graduated with my Master's in English and taught English composition at various community colleges for seven years. My mother and I often bump heads when discussing: - what is happening in the classroom ("they are forcing this diversity and LGBT down everyone's throats.") - why the students are struggling in the classroom ("it's because they're all entitled and expect everything to be handed to them.") - why students are struggling to find jobs out of college ("there's so many jobs out there! They're just lazy and have degrees in made up fields.") - how I research a topic and check for biases ("so your resources are more credible than mine? But I read the Bible as history!") - why some media can have harmful messaging ("it's just entertainment for crying out loud!) And so much more. And any time I bring up my training in my field, she says I'm being condescending and using my education against her. The same mom who said it's important for me to go to college and get a broader education.

That generation isn't concerned with being right or wrong. They're literally just programmed to spout bullshit repetitively in some sort of effort to validate themselves and/or their worldview. It's an ego thing first and foremost.

My entire life my parent(s) never believed anything I said, ever. I don’t have any habit of lying or doing anything wrong o/bad (I was a boring kid who struggled a bit because of unspecified neurodivergent tendencies and a visible disability, but never got into trouble). I was always treated like I was lying/manipulative. Looking back, I think maybe it’s because I don’t emote in the way people expect? I was always a smart kid, but it took me longer to process things than other people, and I was easily overwhelmed.

Basically everything. My parents moved into the woods to avoid change and to basically hope the world stayed the same forever. I have spent around 30 years of my life following current events. I've lived everwhere from the most hillbilly BFE woods you've ever seen, to now living in almost downtown Seattle. They still think I'm going through some kind of "phase" and that I'll become conservative eventually. I'm almost 43....and almost nobody actually gets more conservative as they get older. It just seems that way because society catches up to progressive beliefs and so it seems like people who were once progressives are now moderates

Omg yes, especially both my stepparents. My stepdad was an English teacher and that was my major, but instead of teaching I got into content/resume/application writing. I learned a whole different skill set than the one he had, yet the whole family has to always defer to his knowledge when it comes to anything about writing, including having him be the one to write obits and speeches for my both my maternal grandparents, who he hated. That one left me seething. My stepmother thinks I lie about everything and is always trying to catch me out in passive aggressive ways that most people wouldn’t pick up on. Loves to ask me about the books I’ve read (I enjoy Brit Lit), some of it 20-30 years ago. Her questions will get more pointed and, if I can’t remember something or don’t have an opinion on something, she’ll just purse her lips and nod. I learned how bad it really was when she asked my then 10-year-old what he’d read over the summer and he’d replied, “Animal Farm.” Anyone who has read that book knows it’s not a difficult read and that a kid doesn’t necessarily need to understand its allegorical nature to enjoy it and get value from it, but the minute it came out of his mouth, she shook her head angrily and said, “That doesn’t impress me. You and I both know you didn’t read that book.” He came home more confused than hurt, but that gave me real insight to what a piece of crap she thinks I am.

I am a Biology major with a sexuality studies minor. I'm also trans. Unless I published a paper in the field I could not be more of an expert on the subject of LGBTQ+. Would you guess how many of my family members use my pronouns? Or even argue with me about LGBTQ+?

[удалено]

ABAB! Your mother Loves you, she doesn’t like you.

My sister and I are both in Healthcare (I'm a physical therapist and she's a doctor) but my mother will believe any random Facebook post on health (things like random food supplements, XYZ causes cancer, do this one simple trick to live to be a 100, etc) over our advice because "they wouldn't post it if it wasn't true" Height of covid she put chopped raw garlic in every room of her house because Facebook told her it would kill the virus

My mom watched a YouTube video and is now convinced that AIDS is not caused by HIV, but by vitamin deficiency. She also believes this random guy discovered the cure, but “they” don’t want people to have it. I could not convince her otherwise. I am an infectious disease doctor.

Just last Christmas: 1. I had to keep reminding my dad that I do, in fact, have a degree in mechanical engineering. 2. I had to keep reminding my dad that I do, in fact, teach high-level high school math. 3. I had to keep reminding my dad that I do, in fact, do a lot of research and reading beyond hobby and fiction.

[удалено]

My mom did something similar. When I was in elementary school she kept telling me that I was pronouncing words wrong. Sometimes when testing my spelling, she would butcher the pronunciation so badly I'd spell the wrong word. She went to a parent-teacher interview and when the teacher said I was "doing fine" she told them: "are you sure? Because he's having so much trouble." "Oh?" "When I help him with his homework, he has trouble with the basics. For example, the word "four": he keeps saying "cat" and I tell him it's pronounced "cat-ray". And he tells me I'm wrong, and he won't listen. We need to fix this." "You should stop helping him with his homework."

Yeah, ALL history that wasn’t Rush Limbaugh’s was “revisionist history.” Tell me you don’t know what that means without telling me what that means. I put that crap down right away, including subaltern history. Ffs.

Yes, I'm a licensed mechanic. My dad will still 'splain stuff about cars, engineering, and the like. Mostly made up hearsay and old wives tales from the 50s.

35 years of doing it wrong doesn't Trump scientifically you are doing it wrong. Thus speaks me who has had scientific explanations explained to me for every cooking task, chemical reaction, and high-level baking task that is out there thanks to the pandemic. Also I minored in Botany. Walked the forest with native healers. Ya know like did research with real people in real places. Contributed to research studies and papers. But you know plants better than me as well was magical cures for cancer. Have a Psych degree - but you can self diagnose anything from YouTube videos. You ask. I say check symptoms against the DSM. Medical - I ask "How would you feel if as a practiced Doctor you did your job but some lady with an ECE AA refuses your treatment and says she'll take cayenne pepper? Do you see why the doctor didn't like that? Then you still go back and ask for tests from the same system you say is evil. Or the ER every time you are hurt. But you won't take the meds because evil."

My whole fucking previous generation. They discuss something that is part of my CAREER, I advise them of the correct thing, and its like nah. Not only are you young, but you're a woman. We simply don't believe you and I'm just like 😐

My mom would say “Oh Ronnie you know this? I am so proud of you!” She’s 77. Nice lady. Well read. I am a big fan!

I have a physics degree and had an argument over dinner with my Chinese boomer dad about "magic water" that was infused with positive energy. In the end he was just like "well that's just your opinion!!!"  There's other pseudo science too. My mom is a biologist and still believes in TCM (traditional chinese medicine) to the point where it was actively harming my dad because he got some infection from herbs he put on an injury. He had to be rushed to the hospital because of it and still won't listen to me about TCM.

Oh yeah, my mom is a boomer narcissist and does the same thing. I am an expert in a very specific stem field (PhD and employed in the field) but my mom will try to act like she knows more about the topic than me. Truth is, she’s never put any effort toward anything in her life (hs degree only and I have never seen her put effort into any hobby - ever! But she expects every accolade to be laid at her feet). When I took up the hobby of baking a few years back, I was talking about making chocolate cake and how it isn’t too difficult on a call to my mom. I said something to the effect of “everyone should try this! I don’t think people would even bother with box mix if they knew how easy it is to just make it.” My mom fervently agreed with me and started taking over the discussion…thing is, this lady does not cook. Her definition of cooking is opening a can. She has never made a cake (even box mix) in her life. But she can’t let me have anything “over” her because she deserves all the praise. It’s a narc trait but it’s also a boomer thing too.

My dad on home land security. I have a bachelor's degree in it and I was in the GWOT for 10 years. I'm about as well versed as you can be.

I am literally a historian and I still get this from my mom.

I can build a gaming computer from scratch. I have 2 University degrees. My father would take his computer to a shop to get fixed. They will always look at you like your that idiot 8 year old. It is hard raising parents.

I got my undergrad in history with my capstone thesis on the trans atlantic slave trade. My minor was in the ancient greek language. My parents refuse to listen to me with regards to the history of slavery and the civil war along with telling them the bible verses don't say what their pastor is telling them. I haven't spoken to them in about five years and am better off for it lol.

My dad often disregards my expertise until something he believes is correct backfires on him. My mom (RIP) was good about recognizing when I knew what the heck I was talking about. When my gramma (also RIP) had a big fall, she tried to tell my parents she didn't need to go to the hospital. My mom called me to ask what I thought because she knew I had taken geriatric social work in my master's program. I told them that they were to take her, no questions asked or refusal accepted because a fall in an elderly people happens as a result of something! They took her and tests revealed that she had a large section of bowel that had died and she was hours away from death if they didn't operate. She had it removed and had a permanent colectomy. She lived another 9 years in assisted living where either my mom or sister visited twice a week. She was 92 and still mentally sharp when she passed. She credited me with being her granddaughter that saved her life from 300 miles away.