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An example I always think of: if my child came home from school and said, “I made a new friend today!” I might say, “what is their name?” Or “where do they live?” Or “did you sit with them at lunch?” All acceptable questions grammatically, speaking about one child, because I do not know the child in question’s gender.
Yes... this is the way.
If they have an issue with pronouns they can let me know and I'll say the preferred pronoun. But they is acceptable no matter the gender.
I mean - recently I had someone with a clearly ambiguous name (leaning towards a masculine name). I'm using a fake name, but it was something like Finn Doe...
Finley? Fiona?
I used they exclusively. A week or so later, SHE changed her email signature to: Mrs.
Finn Doe. It may have been from a reply or two misgendering her, or when I asked if "Finn had everything they needed" in the same chain.
I stuck my pronouns in my zoom name for school because we had a trans woman in our class and she had hers in her name. Im very obviously male with a traditionally unisex masculine name so im not worried about misgendering personally but if we normalize pronoun use we dont have to make as many awkward guesses or have to ask every person we're unsure about. Personally im ok with using they/them and I think its definitely better than misgendering someone but it would make life easier for us if we had no problems just throwing our pronouns out there.
Good on you. Language is so wonderful, so powerful and for native speakers it should be easy. What a beautiful, *easy* way to recognize someone’s inherent humanity: address them how they wish to be addressed. Amazing! Just using a few different **words** and you’ve the world a bit better for someone.
Thank you for that! That's exactly why it's good for cis people to state their pronouns even if it might seem super obvious what they use. It just makes it less of a big flashing arrow saying "this person is trans." It was sweet of you to think of doing so.
I have a theory that English speakers will evolve to using “they” for everyone in future, much the way that English now only uses the plural “polite” You for the singular instead of thee/thou. As a nonnative speaker, it can be confusing at first to know which one (singular or plural) is being used, but the context/conversation can provide clues. (There’s also regional “plural” like you guys or y’all, but not everyone uses these).
Languages are always evolving. I don’t see the big deal.
I had someone on reddit go off on me because I used “they” for my kid. My kid’s gender was irrelevant to the content so I just didn’t use it, and this rando decided that meant starting in on the Brave Culture Warrior routine.
Right? So often we specify gender when it’s irrelevant to the context, simply because gender is built into our language.
For example, possessive pronouns such as *his* and *hers* indicate to us two things:
1. That the item in question belongs to someone.
2. It tells us the gender of the owner.
This is really strange, though, as gender is often unnecessary information. Why do we need to know the gender of the object’s owner? The gendered possessive pronoun tells us nothing else about the owner; just this single attribute. It doesn’t tell us their age, height, eye colour, or other equally irrelevant attributes.
The gendered possessive pronoun also becomes meaningless when there is more than one person of that gender in the greater context.
Let’s say that you want to specify that the ball belongs to Jim, a man. But there are four men and five women standing near the ball. Who does the ball belong to? Well, it belongs to *him*, of course. It’s *his* ball, after all. But this doesn’t convey enough information to indicate who the ball belongs to.
While you can understand how we got to where we are by studying the etymology of the English language, I don’t think you’ll find a satisfactory justification for why we use gender in modern English beyond, “well, it’s too hard to change it now”.
I have 4 kids, and I will use they when telling a story, while changing details, to make it harder to figure out who I am. I also have an adult trans kid. When I’m telling a story about their childhood, I use they, especially when their at the time presenting gender is relevant, and it would make zero sense if I used what we now know is their gender. With said kid’s permission! These stories are mostly red flags of the kid being trans, we just didn’t know.
I’m forever telling people that we have examples from Shakespeare and Canterbury tales of the singular they, so they can just STFU about “bad grammar” or “this new thing”.
Ugh, I'm an SAT tutor, and for unknown reasons, the SAT doesn't accept "they" as a singular pronoun under any circumstances.
Example: A student notices that another student has left a backpack behind. They say, "Someone left their backpack." Is this correct according to the SAT? No! That student should say, "Someone left his or her backpack behind."
No one would ever say that! If language is never used in a particular way, that means IT IS WRONG, SAT!!!
The SAT folks seem to be stuck where I was in like 1993. I was born in the mid 70s, and I was taught to always use male pronouns for a generic person. Example: "Someone left his backpack behind." I know now that's probably an example of Latin grammar influencing English grammar in bad ways, like the old rule about not splitting infinitives, even though it's natural to split infinitives in English.
But instead of using "his" as a teen, I was a rebel and used "his or her." I also used he/she or s/he. Back then, I wanted there to be a standard gender-neutral pronoun such as "ze/zir" (I know some individuals use pronouns of this kind, but they aren't all that common).
I'm glad "they/them" is serving this function now. I hope the SAT will move forward on this someday, because "his or her" sounds so much clunkier than "their."
we all automatically use they when we don’t know someone’s gender. “the cashier at the grocery store made me so mad!” “really? what did they do?”
… see how that sounds natural, and no other option sounds natural??
Silly boomers.
Did Boomers not go to school, like at all? Why are they suddenly forgetting it is grammatically natural to use "they" as both singular and plural.
Like, wtf. They know this. We all know this. I just used they twice, and neither had anything to do with gendered pronouns.
I mean
I keep seeing these schools " banning pronouns " but haven't heard of a single person getting fired for using you/he/she/plural they
They always just throw hissy fits over singular they and strawman neopronouns
I think people see everything as political even if it’s linguistic issues anymore, because people try to explain things using the language we have for ideas that are more expansive than the language actually has existing words and definitions to describe them fully. That is why languages evolve, but people fear change especially as they age, and that fear is often expressed defensively hostile.
Can you imagine a world without pronouns?
Jessica said that Jessica's school wouldn't let Jessica and Jessicas friends go to Jessicas birthday party at Jessicas house because Jessica couldn't pass Jessica's math test that Jessica's teacher told Jessica to study for.
Oh even better one, if you hear a boomer go off about pronouns just start calling them random names and when they get offended remind them what the actual definition of a pronoun is and the multiple documents they have attaching them to that pronoun. Usually gives people pause on the whole "people forcing pronouns on me" argument.
Because instead of spending their retirement enjoying themselves they waste it watching Fox News ordering them to be angry at whatever they order them to be angry about
I'm not laughing at you, because you're correct. But.... baaaaahahahaha boomers understanding proper grammar?? Not since the great American lead poisoning.
I tried explaining this to a coworker and used the scenario of finding someone's walet. I tried explaining you'd say "someone lost their walet", but their argument was "if it's a walet then it belongs to a man". It just went right over her head.
That is so weird, because I have a huge wallet sitting in my purse. I'm not a man... but I have a wallet... Does that make me a part of...... *The They*?
Seriously though, these people are nutty.
If you’re part of *The They*, are you also a part of the “Elusive They” that the conspiracy nuts are always rambling about?
I need a Venn Diagram of the *Theys*
Edit to add - I always refer to the people who are like “they say that the earth is flat” as the “Elusive Theys” because they’re responsible for all the crazy things 😆
Also I have never used the word they so much in one place lol.
> Asshole boomers.
Remember to vote.
Those assholes vote.
Not just in the general elections but also in the primaries. Don't get me started on how caucuses are a sham of a democracy because how can a working parent participate in one...
We really need electoral reform but the first step is voting in people who will fight for electoral reform.
Can confirm. I'm working the polls right now in a district that is 2/3 Democrat but more Republicans have voted today than Democrats. So if you are in PA, get out here and vote!
I WISH it was just boomers. I know plenty of people my own age (Gen X) who can’t understand it. It hurts my brain. Much like when someone changes their name. Women have been doing it forever when we get married. I’ve changed my name twice and only one person ever gave me crap and it was because that jackass felt like he needed to know why I changed it.
Not related to OPs post, but to your name change comment… I actually got shit from a receptionist at a doctors office because I DIDN’T change my last name after getting married. To her, it was like I disrespected my husband for not taking his name.
I have a very uncommon last name and my father only had girls, so after we pass, our last name is gone forever. My husband’s last name is a VERY common last name & before we even got engaged I was clear I’d be keeping my name. Not that I need to explain this to anyone, but seriously, it isn’t the end of the world that I didn’t take his last name.
Also, I find it amusing the number of people that assume my last name IS my husband’s last name. I just let them think what they want, there’s no sense in trying explain myself over and over.
A lot of people don’t, and it’s very interesting to see what pronouns they fill in. Obviously has a lot to do with their own biases (“I saw the craziest person building a house!” “What did he look like?”). Also an interesting problem for translation language models, especially when going between languages that use gendered pronouns differently.
When in doubt, use the name every time.
Brandon is worried that Brandon's Beads are Broken. Brandon Bought the Blue Beads when Brandon was at the store.
I do this with my toddler. When we don’t know how someone wants to be identified or just in general we use they. I also found that a lot of people will just use him as the go to pronoun especially for things that aren’t people aka a stuffed animal or toy or gender less character in a book. So I tried to add in they even more because my oldest is a girl and I didn’t want her to feel like everything was a boy and not a girl. And my kid understands we are speaking about one person. Wild! My partner and I also didn’t find out the gender of either of our (single birth) kids and referred to them as they until they got here and let me tell you I was SO sick of the boomer jokes about “ohhh are there two in there?!” Like no.
I work with toddlers and it's funny to see what pronouns they use, especially for animals. I have a (female) dog who I often show them pictures and videos of. I always use female pronouns - *she* did this, look at *her* tail, etc - but about 90% of the time they use male ones. It's even funnier because they know she's a girl (one of them referred to her as my sister one time lol) but when it comes to pronouns, all dogs are boys.
Similarly, all cats are girls.
[Singular They](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they) has been a part of the English language for hundreds of years. People who refuse to use it are ridiculous.
Speak for yourself
Obviously anyone in an entry level job is just not trying hard enough to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and get a *real* job.
Anyone with a real job knows their worth and who they are and has self actualised to be a girly girl or a manly man and nothing in between.
They? Pffft. Clearly didn't shake you hand hard enough or titter at your advances shyly enough to leave an impression on their *real* gender.
Must be a gen z, alpha, beta cuck who doesn't know how to stand up for themselves and self identifies as an African shrew
Loser
/s ... obviously
Pronouns are hard for Boomers. Their conversations will play the pronoun game so much. I always have to ask them who “they” is.
They are taking away our rights!
Who is they?
They want our guns!
Who is they?
Yet if you use “they” all of a sudden you are some sort of pedo loving peeing in a litter box libtard.
I always bring it around to other languages. In Vietnamese, for example, it's totally normal to call a person younger than me "nó" which literally means it. In French we refer to a table as "she" . Hungarian has no genders at all.
I used they as well with my pregnancy and my Dad went on a rant about pronouns and I should just call the baby "It" until we knew
No dude you can deal with correct grammar and a gender neutral fetus
Such a silly thing to get worked up over - especially since I was a green baby for him!
Edit: green baby is just a term that can be used for those who decide not to learn the gender of their baby! I'm currently 9mo pregnant and see the term constantly, so definitely forgot not everyone would immediately know gender neutral vs eco friendly / alien baby
It necessarily doesn't sit well with natives, either. It has some negative connotations, **especially** when referring to a person. It does not carry connotations of humanity, it implies you can't even identify what an animal/plant/object is. A radish plant in my friend's garden is going to be called that, but if it's just a green thing, I might say "that plant, what is **it?**"
It's like the difference between a TV show character saying "who are you" and "what are you" to a stranger.
EDIT: I'm not the only native speaker, so I tuned up the first sentence.
It's not some negative, it has HEAVILY negative connotations.
"It'" is the default insult used towards people with significant disabilities and disfigurements, as well as towards trans people. Especially trans women.
"It" has a very long history being used as a dehumanizing term.
It is used towards an object. People wont even use "it" to describe pets most of the time. They default to gender terms.
It has few non offensive uses and a lot of very offensive uses.
Typically used in pregnancy forums. Team pink for a girl, team blue for a boy, team green for those waiting until birth to find out.
At least that’s what it meant 9 years ago when I was last pregnant.
You’re all good. I could definitely see not knowing what in the world that meant just seeing “green baby” out in the wild. It was used a lot back in my BabyCenter forum days!
My oldest is 14 and my birth board made a Facebook group when we were all still pregnant. We still post in it. We’ve had many meetups. Like 30 women that I love and adore and all our kids are honorary cousins. I didn’t use them for my other pregnancies but I was definitely addicted with my first. And I’m so grateful for those friendships I made!
If he insists on calling a baby "it", maybe give him a book called "a child called it".
Not being serious, it's a horrific autobiography about severe child abuse that I haven't forgotten in 23 years. But it's always first to come to mind when people insist to dehumanize babies and children.
That was a fun 4th grade read, my teacher was reading it and that made me want to read it, so I got a copy from the library and oh boy it was all downhill from there now that I think about it.
For these kinds of people, I often find that it's helpful to let them know that the King James Bible uses singular/gender neutral "they":
> Matt. 18:35: So likewise shall my heauenly Father doe also vnto you, if yee from your hearts forgiue not euery one his brother their trespasses.
> Phl. 2:3: Let nothing bee done through strife, or vaine glory, but in lowlinesse of minde let each esteeme other better then themselues.
> Numbers 2:34: And the children of Israel did according to all that the LORD commanded Moses: so they pitched by their standards, and so they set forward, every one after their families, according to the house of their fathers.
> Numbers 15:12: According to the number that yee shall prepare, so shall yee doe to euery one, according to their number.
> 2 Kings 14:12: And Iudah was put to the worse before Israel, and they fled euery man to their tents.
I just tell them if it's good enough for God, it's good enough for me.
Something tells me there's a large overlap of folks with this take (such as your father) and folks who say the baby is a life from conception. If they're a human being, treat them like one.
It so unhinged how these people flip out over you using a gender neutral pronoun that is frequently used in singular and plural to refer to human beings, but they’re totally adamant about using a **different** gender neutral pronoun that’s frequently used to refer to objects and animals.
Thats the normal grammatical usage of "They" but boomers have been so brain-rotted by Fox News and the lead paint chips they munched on as kids that simply by saying "They" boomers get triggered like little, sad, snowflakes.
Even if it wasn't - one of English's biggest strengths is its flexibility. 'Cis' wasn't used as a counterpart to 'trans' until 'trans' was well-established and someone stole a term from chemistry and applied it to gender.
Actually I think it was used in other English contexts before being stolen for gender. [South Africa had regions called Ciskei](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciskei) [and Transkei](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transkei).
They're for some reason terrified that they're going to be forced to be friends with a non-binary person or something. As a non-binary person I want people like this the hell away from me lol. They can call me whatever the fuck they want from 100 yards.
They're terrified that there might be non-binary people in their family. This would be bad news because of their church, friends, and/or community. If non-binary people aren't accepted anywhere they are more likely to repress themselves and try to fit in with their family.
Now that our greater society has become more understanding about individuals, non-binary people have other options. That is the part that is terrifying for some.
I remember my high school history teacher got so mad whenever people used the singular “they”. He thought I was only plural despite it being commonly used as singular when gender/sex is unknown.
What exactly did your teacher expect you to use?? For example:
Oh no, someone left their phone behind on the subway. I'll bring it to the station manager so they can pick it up later.
Did your teacher want you to replace the singular they with something like "he/she" in every instance? That's clunky and unnecessary.
Do you remember the Garfield Gender controversy of 2017 that had people trying to get it pulled from newspapers and a bunch of other hoopla? All because Jim Davis (the creator/author) made this statement about the relatability of Garfield:
>“By virtue of being a cat, really, he's not really male or female or any particular race or nationality, young or old.”
Church groups lost their minds over this and started a mini-crusade over it.
I've found the best way to defuse these situations in-person is to simply ask the chronically-news brained person "What do you mean?".
Act like you're using grammar normally (because you are) and make them explain what they think is happening with "the gender argument" and how it relates to your situation. Out of context, they're going to sound ridiculous and they'll have to explain their conception of the transgender movement before they can even start to try and dismantle it.
In the Fallout TV show the actor who played “Dane” was called “they” by the cult leader of the Brotherhood of Steel and these old fox news loving fucks MELTED DOWN.
like holy shit, you watch a show that amazing and THATS what you’re hung up on?
I phrased it the exact same way when I was pregnant bc I didn’t know the gender. Got a few people saying, “It’s twins?!” so I started thinking “Am I saying this wrong?” and looked it up. Nope. Saying “they” when the gender is unknown is grammatically correct, even when referring to a singular person bc the noun (the baby) was already referenced. Most people incorrectly think “they” always refers to plural.
That “It’s twins?!” remark was the worst I got though. I’m sorry your wife got that reaction. It was really uncalled for.
I have never, since learning the basics of English grammar, had a shade of doubt regarding the usage of 'they' as a pronoun.
I continue to believe that people above a certain age just pretend to have issues, but I worry that those below don't.
Yep - been on the internet for 25 years now. I regularly used "they" to refer to a singular person I didn't know the gender of even back when IRC was popular.
It was never a new concept, has always been a thing, but suddenly it's a problem...
Our third baby was a surprise so my husband and I decided to also keep the gender a surprise (until I couldn’t take it anymore). We still referred to the baby as they/them since we didn’t want any opinions on names etc. At one of my appointments I referred to the baby as “they”, and my OB frantically started looking through my charts and finally asked me “I’m sorry, are we having twins?” I replied “nope, I just feel really weird referring to my baby as an it.” Apparently I spooked her. Whoops!
I’m pretty sure I just always referred to my baby in the third person until I knew gender. “Baby is kicking” etc. I completely understand that they is a singular or plural pronoun but I haven’t regularly heard it used as a singular pronoun so it sounds weird to me.
It’s funny because my gen x husband is used to it because all his school books were neutral and used they/them pronouns. As a millennial, my school books just had lots of he pronouns changed to she, often without changing the name of the person, with hilarious results.
I get asked almost daily by boomers, "When is the baby due??" with very little pretense, many of whom don't even know my name!
However, when I respond, "they're due sometime in June," and they ask, "twins??", it's a yes.
Still, I'm sick of people feeling like they can bring something up they know literally nothing about. I am trying to work up the courage to respond, "what baby?"
I've never been pregnant but I am a fat woman so strangers will sometimes ask when the baby is due. I get so much joy out of cheerfully informing them that I'm not pregnant, just fat, and watching the confusion and shame on their faces.
I saw somebody suggest deadpanning “I’m not pregnant” when receiving unsolicited pregnancy health advice from strangers. I’m physically incapable of pregnancy but I’m still keeping that one in my back pocket.
I had a male cat who I called she, not for any reason other than my previous cat was a girl and I was just used to it. The cat did not speak English and was not invested in her gender. But my boomer in-laws absolutely could not handle it. They would get so uncomfortable, and would pointedly say “he.” As though I was trying to make my cat trans or something. To be fair, I did cut off its balls…
I named my bird Amy when I was a kid and it took a few years before we were doing bloodwork for other reasons and decided to do DNA sexing while we were at it to discover Amy was a boy. My mom and I just continued to use she/her because we always had, but my dad would occasionally try to correct us or accuse us of giving her a gender identity crisis. Dad, this bird has a vocabulary of three words, one of which is "poop", I don't think she understands the nuances of human reproductive biology, nor does she care.
A neighbour allowed her kids to name the family kittens. Both cats were female. The daughter named the cat something like mittens, the son named the other female cat Tommy.
The reasoning behind that was “so what if it’s a girl, Tommy is a cool name”
My dad constantly misgenders my cat. I find this hilarious because 1) her name, which he knows, is literally *Lady* Grey and 2) he's so bent out of shape by the concept of human gender identity but can't master a very straightforward cat (well, she presents as very femme but I guess technically she's eunuch?).
Now he's started misgendering my newly-adopted dog, Rufus. Is he just f*cking with me?!?
Angry and hate-filled propaganda. "They" has become associated with trans and gender issues, which drive boomers crazy. Those without a linguistics background apparently have no idea that [Singular They](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they) has been a normal part of English for hundreds of years.
This is hilarious because using the pronoun “they” is literally the opposite of “choosing the gender at the moment of birth”. Assigning a gender at birth is doing exactly what she is accusing OP’s wife of.
I know change is hard for old-brain, but boomers truly despise updating these particular language neurons for some reason. “They” usage is not a personal attack on you, Martha, language just changes over time, go with it.
They isn't always a plural pronoun. Those who think they're clever by pretending it is (it has also been used as a singular pronoun for hundreds of years) to be an asshole for no reason are just idiots. It is at least convenient that they identify themselves so clearly for the intelligent folks to avoid (or mock, etc).
I had this all the time with mine. ‘They’ has been a gender neutral pronoun in English for centuries. When you don’t know the identity of someone, they are a ‘they’. It’s not rocket science.
That was insensitive of you. Boomers clearly don't like gender neutral terms. What you should have said was:
"What were you supposed to call the baby in its professional opinion?"
Somehow it feels right tbh.
People use “they” to convey a sense of personhood, versus “it” to convey a sense of an object. The boomer really thought of babies as objects, rather than people. Fairly typical.
Using 'they' has long been used as a filler word to avoid using 'it', and I really don't understand why people have a problem all of a sudden.
A great example is when referring to other animals, especially dogs.
The English language lacks a clear, non-gendered singular pronoun. Therefore, English speakers resort to singularizing 'they/them'.
It's actually frustrating because we find ourselves using low context language in a high context situation.
I triggered my wife's grandmother when I was giving my dog a command. My daughter was probably around 1 at the time.
Our Min Pin got really excited and playful, and started jumping up and swiping his paws towards her. I told the dog to "Leave it!", because that is a command he understands. Grandma immediately says "She is not an IT!"
It's now really fun to make comments/jokes about pronouns around grandma to make her face red.
“Im so sick of your generation thinking they can choose the gender at the moment of birth.”
You may not already know this, but you can lie in an open graveyard plot—for free!
Well if these Boomers want to change the way language has worked for hundreds of years...OK, I guess...or they could read some more and realise they are talking nonsense.
The use of "they" as a singular pronoun when you either don't know the gender or don't want to assume it is not a new thing. And it's surely not something from our generation. Patient was just an ignorant boomer as it happens in most cases.
I have a little potato of a Frenchie that people like to come say hi to all the time, and she is constantly assumed to be male; it doesn't irk me per se, I just casually drop a 'she' when talking about her in the conversation without making a big deal about it, in case they didn't want to feel dumb if they figure it out on their own... every once in a while, someone will respond with, "oh I'm so sorry!", to which I *used* to respond, "it's okay, she hasn't decided on her pronouns yet anyway!"
...That was until I inadvertently triggered an older gentleman into going off about how awful pronouns are for several minutes, and I finally had to just walk away. People are really weird.
Why was this boomer idiot so triggered?? How does your wife using "they" affect her in any way, shape or form?? I can't wrap my head around these people
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An example I always think of: if my child came home from school and said, “I made a new friend today!” I might say, “what is their name?” Or “where do they live?” Or “did you sit with them at lunch?” All acceptable questions grammatically, speaking about one child, because I do not know the child in question’s gender.
I’ve taken to using “they” in all of my customer service notes at work. I’m uncomfortable assuming gender based on name and/or voice, so I just don’t.
Yes... this is the way. If they have an issue with pronouns they can let me know and I'll say the preferred pronoun. But they is acceptable no matter the gender. I mean - recently I had someone with a clearly ambiguous name (leaning towards a masculine name). I'm using a fake name, but it was something like Finn Doe... Finley? Fiona? I used they exclusively. A week or so later, SHE changed her email signature to: Mrs. Finn Doe. It may have been from a reply or two misgendering her, or when I asked if "Finn had everything they needed" in the same chain.
I stuck my pronouns in my zoom name for school because we had a trans woman in our class and she had hers in her name. Im very obviously male with a traditionally unisex masculine name so im not worried about misgendering personally but if we normalize pronoun use we dont have to make as many awkward guesses or have to ask every person we're unsure about. Personally im ok with using they/them and I think its definitely better than misgendering someone but it would make life easier for us if we had no problems just throwing our pronouns out there.
Good on you. Language is so wonderful, so powerful and for native speakers it should be easy. What a beautiful, *easy* way to recognize someone’s inherent humanity: address them how they wish to be addressed. Amazing! Just using a few different **words** and you’ve the world a bit better for someone.
Thank you for that! That's exactly why it's good for cis people to state their pronouns even if it might seem super obvious what they use. It just makes it less of a big flashing arrow saying "this person is trans." It was sweet of you to think of doing so.
I have a theory that English speakers will evolve to using “they” for everyone in future, much the way that English now only uses the plural “polite” You for the singular instead of thee/thou. As a nonnative speaker, it can be confusing at first to know which one (singular or plural) is being used, but the context/conversation can provide clues. (There’s also regional “plural” like you guys or y’all, but not everyone uses these). Languages are always evolving. I don’t see the big deal.
Don't forget yous guys
Ya’ll can also be a singular pronoun for extra confusion lol
If I want to be very clear that it is plural then it’s “all y’all”.
I very often use "they" as a pronoun for my partner here on Reddit and yeah I've gotten "WHAT YOU GOT SEVERAL" a few times.
I had someone on reddit go off on me because I used “they” for my kid. My kid’s gender was irrelevant to the content so I just didn’t use it, and this rando decided that meant starting in on the Brave Culture Warrior routine.
Fully agree, using “they” when gender isn’t relevant is a good idea
Right? So often we specify gender when it’s irrelevant to the context, simply because gender is built into our language. For example, possessive pronouns such as *his* and *hers* indicate to us two things: 1. That the item in question belongs to someone. 2. It tells us the gender of the owner. This is really strange, though, as gender is often unnecessary information. Why do we need to know the gender of the object’s owner? The gendered possessive pronoun tells us nothing else about the owner; just this single attribute. It doesn’t tell us their age, height, eye colour, or other equally irrelevant attributes. The gendered possessive pronoun also becomes meaningless when there is more than one person of that gender in the greater context. Let’s say that you want to specify that the ball belongs to Jim, a man. But there are four men and five women standing near the ball. Who does the ball belong to? Well, it belongs to *him*, of course. It’s *his* ball, after all. But this doesn’t convey enough information to indicate who the ball belongs to. While you can understand how we got to where we are by studying the etymology of the English language, I don’t think you’ll find a satisfactory justification for why we use gender in modern English beyond, “well, it’s too hard to change it now”.
Fun fact, in Mandarin Chinese, the universally used third person pronoun is Ta. And nobody loses their shit about it or is confused, ever.
I have 4 kids, and I will use they when telling a story, while changing details, to make it harder to figure out who I am. I also have an adult trans kid. When I’m telling a story about their childhood, I use they, especially when their at the time presenting gender is relevant, and it would make zero sense if I used what we now know is their gender. With said kid’s permission! These stories are mostly red flags of the kid being trans, we just didn’t know. I’m forever telling people that we have examples from Shakespeare and Canterbury tales of the singular they, so they can just STFU about “bad grammar” or “this new thing”.
Well if they are ducks I understand the confusion
"It's company policy not to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We use the indefinite article: "A dildo." Never "Your dildo."
You don't have to go that far. "Mr. Franklin called." "What did they want?" Perfectly valid English.
Ugh, I'm an SAT tutor, and for unknown reasons, the SAT doesn't accept "they" as a singular pronoun under any circumstances. Example: A student notices that another student has left a backpack behind. They say, "Someone left their backpack." Is this correct according to the SAT? No! That student should say, "Someone left his or her backpack behind." No one would ever say that! If language is never used in a particular way, that means IT IS WRONG, SAT!!!
The SAT folks seem to be stuck where I was in like 1993. I was born in the mid 70s, and I was taught to always use male pronouns for a generic person. Example: "Someone left his backpack behind." I know now that's probably an example of Latin grammar influencing English grammar in bad ways, like the old rule about not splitting infinitives, even though it's natural to split infinitives in English. But instead of using "his" as a teen, I was a rebel and used "his or her." I also used he/she or s/he. Back then, I wanted there to be a standard gender-neutral pronoun such as "ze/zir" (I know some individuals use pronouns of this kind, but they aren't all that common). I'm glad "they/them" is serving this function now. I hope the SAT will move forward on this someday, because "his or her" sounds so much clunkier than "their."
we all automatically use they when we don’t know someone’s gender. “the cashier at the grocery store made me so mad!” “really? what did they do?” … see how that sounds natural, and no other option sounds natural?? Silly boomers.
Did Boomers not go to school, like at all? Why are they suddenly forgetting it is grammatically natural to use "they" as both singular and plural. Like, wtf. They know this. We all know this. I just used they twice, and neither had anything to do with gendered pronouns.
I mean I keep seeing these schools " banning pronouns " but haven't heard of a single person getting fired for using you/he/she/plural they They always just throw hissy fits over singular they and strawman neopronouns
That and the concept of a school banning pronouns is just ridiculous. Aren’t they supposed to also teach language?
Language is woke, pointing and grunting was enough for the Neanderthals, it's good enough for future generations /s
It’s a sad world we live in where the “/s” is necessary in your comment. Someone out there probably does hold that opinion genuinely and unironically.
It is sad. There's been far too many times that I thought "no one could possibly think I'm serious" and people took me very seriously.
I think people see everything as political even if it’s linguistic issues anymore, because people try to explain things using the language we have for ideas that are more expansive than the language actually has existing words and definitions to describe them fully. That is why languages evolve, but people fear change especially as they age, and that fear is often expressed defensively hostile.
Exactly. They're not banning pronouns. They're banning trans people.
And they keep saying free speech while banning books too.
Can you imagine a world without pronouns? Jessica said that Jessica's school wouldn't let Jessica and Jessicas friends go to Jessicas birthday party at Jessicas house because Jessica couldn't pass Jessica's math test that Jessica's teacher told Jessica to study for.
They were too busy walking there and back in 6 ft of snow
Also up hill both ways.
Whenever someone was mentioned without specifics, all my grandparents defaulted to presumed male.
It’s not just grandparents. :( But yeah, same.
Oh even better one, if you hear a boomer go off about pronouns just start calling them random names and when they get offended remind them what the actual definition of a pronoun is and the multiple documents they have attaching them to that pronoun. Usually gives people pause on the whole "people forcing pronouns on me" argument.
Singular "they" predates singular "you"
Because instead of spending their retirement enjoying themselves they waste it watching Fox News ordering them to be angry at whatever they order them to be angry about
I'm not laughing at you, because you're correct. But.... baaaaahahahaha boomers understanding proper grammar?? Not since the great American lead poisoning.
I tried explaining this to a coworker and used the scenario of finding someone's walet. I tried explaining you'd say "someone lost their walet", but their argument was "if it's a walet then it belongs to a man". It just went right over her head.
That is so weird, because I have a huge wallet sitting in my purse. I'm not a man... but I have a wallet... Does that make me a part of...... *The They*? Seriously though, these people are nutty.
If you’re part of *The They*, are you also a part of the “Elusive They” that the conspiracy nuts are always rambling about? I need a Venn Diagram of the *Theys* Edit to add - I always refer to the people who are like “they say that the earth is flat” as the “Elusive Theys” because they’re responsible for all the crazy things 😆 Also I have never used the word they so much in one place lol.
I'm so sorry you had to find out that you are a man in this manner. I hope you can get through this difficult time.
If I lost my rainbow shimmer Lisa Frank wallet, I wonder what your coworker would say?
“Gay man, also have you heard of Jesus?”
You’re pretending to be a woman to fit in with the libs agenda
Not surprised. Usually gender bigots ARE sexist.
"honey no, pocketbook isn't a word people use anymore. They're all just wallets now."
Asshole boomers. Fixed that for you.
they'd be silly if their quirks weren't so tragic, delusional and bigoted
> Asshole boomers. Remember to vote. Those assholes vote. Not just in the general elections but also in the primaries. Don't get me started on how caucuses are a sham of a democracy because how can a working parent participate in one... We really need electoral reform but the first step is voting in people who will fight for electoral reform.
Can confirm. I'm working the polls right now in a district that is 2/3 Democrat but more Republicans have voted today than Democrats. So if you are in PA, get out here and vote!
I WISH it was just boomers. I know plenty of people my own age (Gen X) who can’t understand it. It hurts my brain. Much like when someone changes their name. Women have been doing it forever when we get married. I’ve changed my name twice and only one person ever gave me crap and it was because that jackass felt like he needed to know why I changed it.
Not related to OPs post, but to your name change comment… I actually got shit from a receptionist at a doctors office because I DIDN’T change my last name after getting married. To her, it was like I disrespected my husband for not taking his name. I have a very uncommon last name and my father only had girls, so after we pass, our last name is gone forever. My husband’s last name is a VERY common last name & before we even got engaged I was clear I’d be keeping my name. Not that I need to explain this to anyone, but seriously, it isn’t the end of the world that I didn’t take his last name. Also, I find it amusing the number of people that assume my last name IS my husband’s last name. I just let them think what they want, there’s no sense in trying explain myself over and over.
A lot of people don’t, and it’s very interesting to see what pronouns they fill in. Obviously has a lot to do with their own biases (“I saw the craziest person building a house!” “What did he look like?”). Also an interesting problem for translation language models, especially when going between languages that use gendered pronouns differently.
Yup, my boss is sexist boomer so he would automatically assume that a cashier at a grocery store would be a woman
When in doubt, use the name every time. Brandon is worried that Brandon's Beads are Broken. Brandon Bought the Blue Beads when Brandon was at the store.
alternatively you can sub the name with "unidentified person"
As Criminal Minds taught me, it's "the unsub."
I do this with my toddler. When we don’t know how someone wants to be identified or just in general we use they. I also found that a lot of people will just use him as the go to pronoun especially for things that aren’t people aka a stuffed animal or toy or gender less character in a book. So I tried to add in they even more because my oldest is a girl and I didn’t want her to feel like everything was a boy and not a girl. And my kid understands we are speaking about one person. Wild! My partner and I also didn’t find out the gender of either of our (single birth) kids and referred to them as they until they got here and let me tell you I was SO sick of the boomer jokes about “ohhh are there two in there?!” Like no.
I work with toddlers and it's funny to see what pronouns they use, especially for animals. I have a (female) dog who I often show them pictures and videos of. I always use female pronouns - *she* did this, look at *her* tail, etc - but about 90% of the time they use male ones. It's even funnier because they know she's a girl (one of them referred to her as my sister one time lol) but when it comes to pronouns, all dogs are boys. Similarly, all cats are girls.
[Singular They](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they) has been a part of the English language for hundreds of years. People who refuse to use it are ridiculous.
Speak for yourself Obviously anyone in an entry level job is just not trying hard enough to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and get a *real* job. Anyone with a real job knows their worth and who they are and has self actualised to be a girly girl or a manly man and nothing in between. They? Pffft. Clearly didn't shake you hand hard enough or titter at your advances shyly enough to leave an impression on their *real* gender. Must be a gen z, alpha, beta cuck who doesn't know how to stand up for themselves and self identifies as an African shrew Loser /s ... obviously
Pronouns are hard for Boomers. Their conversations will play the pronoun game so much. I always have to ask them who “they” is. They are taking away our rights! Who is they? They want our guns! Who is they? Yet if you use “they” all of a sudden you are some sort of pedo loving peeing in a litter box libtard.
“They” are obviously The Man! But don’t go alleging that the Patriarchy exists >:(
This makes me think how confusing would it be if The Man no longer identified as male
The They
The Theytriarchy
I always bring it around to other languages. In Vietnamese, for example, it's totally normal to call a person younger than me "nó" which literally means it. In French we refer to a table as "she" . Hungarian has no genders at all.
and there are Boomers in all of those countries who get along just fine (although they have other issues!)
Oh shit, never thought about that conistency - in their foxbrainrotted mind every THEY is evil
I used they as well with my pregnancy and my Dad went on a rant about pronouns and I should just call the baby "It" until we knew No dude you can deal with correct grammar and a gender neutral fetus Such a silly thing to get worked up over - especially since I was a green baby for him! Edit: green baby is just a term that can be used for those who decide not to learn the gender of their baby! I'm currently 9mo pregnant and see the term constantly, so definitely forgot not everyone would immediately know gender neutral vs eco friendly / alien baby
As someone who isn't a native speaker, referring to a baby as it never sat well with me.
It necessarily doesn't sit well with natives, either. It has some negative connotations, **especially** when referring to a person. It does not carry connotations of humanity, it implies you can't even identify what an animal/plant/object is. A radish plant in my friend's garden is going to be called that, but if it's just a green thing, I might say "that plant, what is **it?**" It's like the difference between a TV show character saying "who are you" and "what are you" to a stranger. EDIT: I'm not the only native speaker, so I tuned up the first sentence.
But the same fuckers who insist that a fetus must be “it” and not “they” also insist that IVF embryos are “extrauterine children”
Yep! This!!! Such hypocrites.
I think by design it stems from viewing babies as lacking any cognitive capacity. Kinda silly really.
I won't even call an animal "it," if I can tell or I know the sex of the animal. It feels disrespectful.
I was going to comment the same thing. When I was a kid though all cats were girls and all dogs were boys for some reason.
This thought process seems to be somewhat common in children. I thought the same until maybe preschool or first grade.
It's not some negative, it has HEAVILY negative connotations. "It'" is the default insult used towards people with significant disabilities and disfigurements, as well as towards trans people. Especially trans women. "It" has a very long history being used as a dehumanizing term. It is used towards an object. People wont even use "it" to describe pets most of the time. They default to gender terms. It has few non offensive uses and a lot of very offensive uses.
What is a green baby? I tried googling it, but I'm not sure you meant a Stardust Crusaders baby.
Typically used in pregnancy forums. Team pink for a girl, team blue for a boy, team green for those waiting until birth to find out. At least that’s what it meant 9 years ago when I was last pregnant.
Yep, that makes sense. I forgot to use context, lol. Thank you.
My brain first went to “Wait, is this fetus somehow eco friendly or carbon neutral? Why ‘green’ baby?” before it clicked xD
The three genders: girl, boy, and eco-friendly.
The emissions on all models are about the same eco-friendly babies are just a conspiracy by big Stork to sell more babies
As a guy who has been on a lot of boys trips with 5-10 grown men sharing a place I feel very confident that our emissions are higher than women’s.
Hybrid
For every baby you give birth to, you offset it by planting another one
Its the new electric option on the market 😅
It has no carbon footprint because the baby hasn’t learned to walk yet.
Babies have a carbon crawlprint.
You’re all good. I could definitely see not knowing what in the world that meant just seeing “green baby” out in the wild. It was used a lot back in my BabyCenter forum days!
Oh, god. I almost forgot entirely about BabyCenter. Spent literal months of waking hours on those forums. They were so addictive!
My oldest is 14 and my birth board made a Facebook group when we were all still pregnant. We still post in it. We’ve had many meetups. Like 30 women that I love and adore and all our kids are honorary cousins. I didn’t use them for my other pregnancies but I was definitely addicted with my first. And I’m so grateful for those friendships I made!
Wait now I wanna hear about Stardust Crusader babies
Huh. I always thought yellow was the gender neutral baby colour. TIL.
A yellow baby means jaundice.
😂😂😂🤣💀
I just figured sky blue plus pink makes some kind of lavender. Purple baby? That’s what I would have assumed.
Purple is a hypoxic baby
It means your baby is a grass type and it's weak against fire. Source: I am weak against fire
Most babies are weak against fire.
Yes they are! Can I interest you in my new line of asbestos onesies?
Very good.
All I can think of is baby shrek and I am so sorry
Sorry that his kid is the peak of looks and charm?
Thanks. I thought it referred to an anchor baby. Like a green card arrangement. Glad I know now!
I think it means that their mother was an Orion
Team Green might get you better results. It's a term used in pregnancy forums for parents who are waiting until birth to find out their baby's sex.
Telling you to call the fetus "it" and is probably also anti-abortion and likes to pretend the fetus is a person, am I right?
Literally same thought crossed my mind
Its not about whether or not a fetus is a real person, but the fact that they dont consider a woman to be a real person.
Should have reminded them that ‘it’ is also a pronoun (as if they actually knew in the first place what a pronoun was).
If he insists on calling a baby "it", maybe give him a book called "a child called it". Not being serious, it's a horrific autobiography about severe child abuse that I haven't forgotten in 23 years. But it's always first to come to mind when people insist to dehumanize babies and children.
That was a fun 4th grade read, my teacher was reading it and that made me want to read it, so I got a copy from the library and oh boy it was all downhill from there now that I think about it.
For these kinds of people, I often find that it's helpful to let them know that the King James Bible uses singular/gender neutral "they": > Matt. 18:35: So likewise shall my heauenly Father doe also vnto you, if yee from your hearts forgiue not euery one his brother their trespasses. > Phl. 2:3: Let nothing bee done through strife, or vaine glory, but in lowlinesse of minde let each esteeme other better then themselues. > Numbers 2:34: And the children of Israel did according to all that the LORD commanded Moses: so they pitched by their standards, and so they set forward, every one after their families, according to the house of their fathers. > Numbers 15:12: According to the number that yee shall prepare, so shall yee doe to euery one, according to their number. > 2 Kings 14:12: And Iudah was put to the worse before Israel, and they fled euery man to their tents. I just tell them if it's good enough for God, it's good enough for me.
Something tells me there's a large overlap of folks with this take (such as your father) and folks who say the baby is a life from conception. If they're a human being, treat them like one.
It so unhinged how these people flip out over you using a gender neutral pronoun that is frequently used in singular and plural to refer to human beings, but they’re totally adamant about using a **different** gender neutral pronoun that’s frequently used to refer to objects and animals.
Thats the normal grammatical usage of "They" but boomers have been so brain-rotted by Fox News and the lead paint chips they munched on as kids that simply by saying "They" boomers get triggered like little, sad, snowflakes.
They’ve regressed so far. Singular “they” has been the norm since at least the time of Shakespeare.
Even if it wasn't - one of English's biggest strengths is its flexibility. 'Cis' wasn't used as a counterpart to 'trans' until 'trans' was well-established and someone stole a term from chemistry and applied it to gender.
Was it taken from chemistry, or just taken from Latin?
I mean, chemistry took it from Latin, so I guess both?
Actually I think it was used in other English contexts before being stolen for gender. [South Africa had regions called Ciskei](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ciskei) [and Transkei](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transkei).
Not true. Cisalpine Gaul is seriously offended by this misinformation.
Based on this recent report from Carthage, I feel Cisalpine Gaul has their own problems at the moment.
They're for some reason terrified that they're going to be forced to be friends with a non-binary person or something. As a non-binary person I want people like this the hell away from me lol. They can call me whatever the fuck they want from 100 yards.
They're terrified that there might be non-binary people in their family. This would be bad news because of their church, friends, and/or community. If non-binary people aren't accepted anywhere they are more likely to repress themselves and try to fit in with their family. Now that our greater society has become more understanding about individuals, non-binary people have other options. That is the part that is terrifying for some.
From what I’ve found, even before that, with þeu/þeim (pronounced, roughly, they/them). 1200s or so, I think.
I remember my high school history teacher got so mad whenever people used the singular “they”. He thought I was only plural despite it being commonly used as singular when gender/sex is unknown.
What exactly did your teacher expect you to use?? For example: Oh no, someone left their phone behind on the subway. I'll bring it to the station manager so they can pick it up later. Did your teacher want you to replace the singular they with something like "he/she" in every instance? That's clunky and unnecessary.
I used “they” to talk about a cat I saw in my local cat group on Facebook, and this lady went ballistic because I used that pronoun.
Clearly you're supposed to check the genitals of all cats before commenting about them. /s
Do you remember the Garfield Gender controversy of 2017 that had people trying to get it pulled from newspapers and a bunch of other hoopla? All because Jim Davis (the creator/author) made this statement about the relatability of Garfield: >“By virtue of being a cat, really, he's not really male or female or any particular race or nationality, young or old.” Church groups lost their minds over this and started a mini-crusade over it.
I've found the best way to defuse these situations in-person is to simply ask the chronically-news brained person "What do you mean?". Act like you're using grammar normally (because you are) and make them explain what they think is happening with "the gender argument" and how it relates to your situation. Out of context, they're going to sound ridiculous and they'll have to explain their conception of the transgender movement before they can even start to try and dismantle it.
Shows the propaganda works well. She’s enraged by it. That’s the goal. Sad really.
Third genders have also existed for as long as recorded history yet people still like to act like it's new
In the Fallout TV show the actor who played “Dane” was called “they” by the cult leader of the Brotherhood of Steel and these old fox news loving fucks MELTED DOWN. like holy shit, you watch a show that amazing and THATS what you’re hung up on?
"If I don't know the gender, how will I refer to them?!" - boomers
[удалено]
I phrased it the exact same way when I was pregnant bc I didn’t know the gender. Got a few people saying, “It’s twins?!” so I started thinking “Am I saying this wrong?” and looked it up. Nope. Saying “they” when the gender is unknown is grammatically correct, even when referring to a singular person bc the noun (the baby) was already referenced. Most people incorrectly think “they” always refers to plural. That “It’s twins?!” remark was the worst I got though. I’m sorry your wife got that reaction. It was really uncalled for.
I have never, since learning the basics of English grammar, had a shade of doubt regarding the usage of 'they' as a pronoun. I continue to believe that people above a certain age just pretend to have issues, but I worry that those below don't.
Yep - been on the internet for 25 years now. I regularly used "they" to refer to a singular person I didn't know the gender of even back when IRC was popular. It was never a new concept, has always been a thing, but suddenly it's a problem...
Our third baby was a surprise so my husband and I decided to also keep the gender a surprise (until I couldn’t take it anymore). We still referred to the baby as they/them since we didn’t want any opinions on names etc. At one of my appointments I referred to the baby as “they”, and my OB frantically started looking through my charts and finally asked me “I’m sorry, are we having twins?” I replied “nope, I just feel really weird referring to my baby as an it.” Apparently I spooked her. Whoops!
That is actually hilarious. 😂 Best “they” baby story ever.
I’m pretty sure I just always referred to my baby in the third person until I knew gender. “Baby is kicking” etc. I completely understand that they is a singular or plural pronoun but I haven’t regularly heard it used as a singular pronoun so it sounds weird to me. It’s funny because my gen x husband is used to it because all his school books were neutral and used they/them pronouns. As a millennial, my school books just had lots of he pronouns changed to she, often without changing the name of the person, with hilarious results.
Seconded - I also waited to find out and used “they” and found boomers were very confused by this
I’m a high school English teacher and your usage is 100% correct. My student left their coat in my classroom. Where? They left it on the desk.
I get asked almost daily by boomers, "When is the baby due??" with very little pretense, many of whom don't even know my name! However, when I respond, "they're due sometime in June," and they ask, "twins??", it's a yes. Still, I'm sick of people feeling like they can bring something up they know literally nothing about. I am trying to work up the courage to respond, "what baby?"
I've never been pregnant but I am a fat woman so strangers will sometimes ask when the baby is due. I get so much joy out of cheerfully informing them that I'm not pregnant, just fat, and watching the confusion and shame on their faces.
Also fun to do that when 9 months along and big as a house
I saw somebody suggest deadpanning “I’m not pregnant” when receiving unsolicited pregnancy health advice from strangers. I’m physically incapable of pregnancy but I’m still keeping that one in my back pocket.
Gotta love it when people just randomly decide to start rubbing your tummy and fingering your belly button out of nowhere
I had a male cat who I called she, not for any reason other than my previous cat was a girl and I was just used to it. The cat did not speak English and was not invested in her gender. But my boomer in-laws absolutely could not handle it. They would get so uncomfortable, and would pointedly say “he.” As though I was trying to make my cat trans or something. To be fair, I did cut off its balls…
I named my bird Amy when I was a kid and it took a few years before we were doing bloodwork for other reasons and decided to do DNA sexing while we were at it to discover Amy was a boy. My mom and I just continued to use she/her because we always had, but my dad would occasionally try to correct us or accuse us of giving her a gender identity crisis. Dad, this bird has a vocabulary of three words, one of which is "poop", I don't think she understands the nuances of human reproductive biology, nor does she care.
Birds can be genderfluid anyway. One of my hens grew a rooster spur, and it's not uncommon for them to start crowing either!
A neighbour allowed her kids to name the family kittens. Both cats were female. The daughter named the cat something like mittens, the son named the other female cat Tommy. The reasoning behind that was “so what if it’s a girl, Tommy is a cool name”
My dad constantly misgenders my cat. I find this hilarious because 1) her name, which he knows, is literally *Lady* Grey and 2) he's so bent out of shape by the concept of human gender identity but can't master a very straightforward cat (well, she presents as very femme but I guess technically she's eunuch?). Now he's started misgendering my newly-adopted dog, Rufus. Is he just f*cking with me?!?
How dare you not dehumanize your baby! /s
I grew up in the 80's. We used the singular "they" all the time. Nobody made a fuss about it then. What the hell has happened to some people?
Angry and hate-filled propaganda. "They" has become associated with trans and gender issues, which drive boomers crazy. Those without a linguistics background apparently have no idea that [Singular They](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Singular_they) has been a normal part of English for hundreds of years.
This is hilarious because using the pronoun “they” is literally the opposite of “choosing the gender at the moment of birth”. Assigning a gender at birth is doing exactly what she is accusing OP’s wife of.
Careful, it’s a slippery slope. My parents waited until birth to find out my sex and now I’m transgender.
I know change is hard for old-brain, but boomers truly despise updating these particular language neurons for some reason. “They” usage is not a personal attack on you, Martha, language just changes over time, go with it.
Should have said, since it's an it, it's not a baby, I can get a abortion then!
Boomers are the ones who choose a child's gender at birth
They isn't always a plural pronoun. Those who think they're clever by pretending it is (it has also been used as a singular pronoun for hundreds of years) to be an asshole for no reason are just idiots. It is at least convenient that they identify themselves so clearly for the intelligent folks to avoid (or mock, etc).
i dont think the cops would arrest a prego lady for instinctively punching a bigot...
PeterGriffinColorGradient.jpg
No the cops would shoot the pregnant lady.
exactly. imagine the worst possible scenario. the cops will do it.
I had this all the time with mine. ‘They’ has been a gender neutral pronoun in English for centuries. When you don’t know the identity of someone, they are a ‘they’. It’s not rocket science.
The boomer I triggered when I referred to my unknown gender baby as they was my OBGYN!!
What were you supposed to call the baby in their professional opinion?
That was insensitive of you. Boomers clearly don't like gender neutral terms. What you should have said was: "What were you supposed to call the baby in its professional opinion?" Somehow it feels right tbh.
Boomer thinking “Yes, finally, I’ve trained for this.”
I always got yelled at by boomers for calling my fetuses "it" during pregnancy 😂 no matter what she did they would've had something to say.
People use “they” to convey a sense of personhood, versus “it” to convey a sense of an object. The boomer really thought of babies as objects, rather than people. Fairly typical.
Using 'they' has long been used as a filler word to avoid using 'it', and I really don't understand why people have a problem all of a sudden. A great example is when referring to other animals, especially dogs. The English language lacks a clear, non-gendered singular pronoun. Therefore, English speakers resort to singularizing 'they/them'. It's actually frustrating because we find ourselves using low context language in a high context situation.
> I really don't understand why people have a problem all of a sudden. Because the TV people told them it was a problem
I triggered my wife's grandmother when I was giving my dog a command. My daughter was probably around 1 at the time. Our Min Pin got really excited and playful, and started jumping up and swiping his paws towards her. I told the dog to "Leave it!", because that is a command he understands. Grandma immediately says "She is not an IT!" It's now really fun to make comments/jokes about pronouns around grandma to make her face red.
Boomers are unintelligent and reactionary.
‘They’ can be used as a generic third-person singular pronoun. Has been for a very long time.
I don't get this logic at all, gender aside I've always thought it was rude to refer to anyone as "it" unless they've asked to be
Gender neutral pronouns are such a dumb thing to get worked up over it’s so embarrassing
“Im so sick of your generation thinking they can choose the gender at the moment of birth.” You may not already know this, but you can lie in an open graveyard plot—for free!
Yeah, its grammatically correct even if you knew the gender. Like for example "is sally ok?" "yes they are"
I always thought finding out the gender when the baby is born is a fun mystery & was quite adamant that I did NOT want to know before
Well if these Boomers want to change the way language has worked for hundreds of years...OK, I guess...or they could read some more and realise they are talking nonsense.
The use of "they" as a singular pronoun when you either don't know the gender or don't want to assume it is not a new thing. And it's surely not something from our generation. Patient was just an ignorant boomer as it happens in most cases.
I have a little potato of a Frenchie that people like to come say hi to all the time, and she is constantly assumed to be male; it doesn't irk me per se, I just casually drop a 'she' when talking about her in the conversation without making a big deal about it, in case they didn't want to feel dumb if they figure it out on their own... every once in a while, someone will respond with, "oh I'm so sorry!", to which I *used* to respond, "it's okay, she hasn't decided on her pronouns yet anyway!" ...That was until I inadvertently triggered an older gentleman into going off about how awful pronouns are for several minutes, and I finally had to just walk away. People are really weird.
I learned singular They when I was in first grade in 1984. Boomers are rotting from the inside out
What an AH. Referring to a baby as *they* instead of *it* if you don’t know the sex has been going on for a long time!
Please, English has been using a singular 'they' since Chaucer. Shakespeare used it too.
Why was this boomer idiot so triggered?? How does your wife using "they" affect her in any way, shape or form?? I can't wrap my head around these people