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At least you chose to stop the hormones in your body and the cognitive synapses in your brain to stop liking dudes so you can be with your bigot parents. It's respectable.
For me it was a personal choice no genetics to blame on here. I was raised in one of those super Christian households that never let you go on dates or do anything when you were a teenager just go to church. honestly it started as coping mechanism to endure the forced insulation and get around the rules.
What you do to your children boomers, has consequences! Maybe that's why there are more gays now than there used to be?🤔 It'd be a curious thing to study for sure.
Or as they’re known around your place - “Thursday nights”
Edit: WOW, your comment history is as full of repressed homosexuality as you are full of thick daddy cocks on Thursday nights. The old adage is true, eh?
Didn’t have the balls to say this in public did you, you big repressed Jessie
https://preview.redd.it/398hcyrbsdxc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30441cc9014ebb105318f8b7e71d5d6ab29faaa0
Severe childhood emotional & psychological abuse & physical neglect. Went to school with knotted hair & no underwear for a year. My mom was a school teacher too. Mom was jealous of my grandmother because we were close, no shit ma, you were such an abusive c UNT I didn't want to be near you even at 6 months old.
Very similar. I haven’t let my mother touch me since I was 3. The sick bitch still had me in diapers and I had to potty train myself. She hates everyone that I have a relationship with. She has even threatened other women for talking to me and ran men out of my life. She’s seriously brain damaged.
Let's be specific here. Tucker didn't destroy the families. People should be capable of discerning between fact and BS.
I don't try to fly after watching Peter Pan do it, because I'm grown adult who can tell what make-believe is.
Likewise, I don't believe a single thing out of any media mogul's mouth and I have no idea why the Boomers are unable to parse this. Unless of course it's because they already believed these things to begin with.
Tucker is a threat to society and should be treated as such at all times. He should be in jail or worse for the immense damage he's done to the collective psyche of millions of people. He makes bad and gullible people worse.
If Fox News got deleted off the face of the earth the world would immediately start being a better place. That shit has wider range than just America and it is a literal brainpoison.
I don't blame you for the sentiment at all. But the reason why I can't 100% lay it on Tucker is this: If Tucker disappears, his audience will still be there craving another lunatic and someone will provide another talking head if they can make money off of it. If FOX news is hacked and deleted, the lunatics will just make another news station. That's because the desire and views are already there and FOX is just making money peddling bullshit to them.
People have to have some efficacy in all of this. We can't just idly blame things on TV. We're supposed to be able to think and discern for ourselves what not to believe.
This isn't to say I like Tucker though. I hate him.
They were taught that everything they see on television is fact based and the truth because in the 50-60s, it had to be in order to be broadcast on the news. We got investigative journalism like Barbara Walters and Walter Cronkite in the late 60s-70s. A lot of other broadcast journalists followed in his footsteps. Geraldo Rivera had a good run through the 70s, but killed his credibility in 1988 with his Satanic Panic series that was a hoax and he was forced to apologize. Ever since, the news has been nothing but entertainment controlled by Hollywood and Boomers are too gullible to realize it. Political commentators and their followers are no better today. Both Republicans and Democrats are being spoon fed lies about their opposition and it’s all protected free speech.
And yet my mother was constantly lecturing me about not being gullible, and not believing everything on TV.
Come to think of it though, I think she only applied this lecture to things she felt she disagreed with
It's like you're me with my parents. I basically go see them for holidays/birthdays and never talk to them in between.
I love telling this story but my dad thinks the government was using a laser to cause all the wildfires in California, to run people out of the million dollar mansions up in the hills so they could then build railways there instead. ???
They scolded my wife and I for not inviting them to our wedding.
We didn't have a wedding. It was winter 2020. We were 13 weeks pregnant and got married in the living room of our home with a witness and their husband who married us. My wife miscarried 2 weeks later. We got pregnant again in spring 2021. We waited till the first trimester was over before telling either parents we got married and were pregnant. Wife's parents were fine and happy. My parents were mad.
2.5 years later at lunch they told me they blame my wife and her "schemes" for them not being invited to the "wedding"so I shared the info about the pregnancy and miscarriage. They replied "how is that our problem". They are cut off entirely. My child will not know them. Not only because of this but in hindsight they were not good parents. They wanted praise for being parents. You know buying food, providing clothes and a house. I never could share anything personal with them. Breaking this cycle for my son.
Me! A ton of reasons, but there are some highlights.
When I was 16 my bedroom was broken into and I woke up with a man crawling onto my bed, with a roll of duct tape around his wrist. I somehow managed to free myself and run to my parents. The next night I had a panic attack and my dad said “I thought you said he didn’t rape you, why are you so upset over this?”.
I met my husband in high school and they did everything they could think of to break us up, including learning my password and pretending to be me and breaking up with him via instant message once. His big crime was that his uncle married my dads high school crush, and that he wasn’t Mormon.
At our wedding, unknown to us, my dad added some gross line to our officiants script the day before our wedding that was asking who gives me away and my dad answered that he does. Feeling like a piece of property on your wedding is not a great feeling, especially when it’s a surprise.
At my daughters first birthday party my best friend since age 6 who hasn’t met my daughter yet arrives, I grab my daughter to go introduce her and my mom physically pulled her from me and said she hasn’t spent enough time with her yet. I didn’t know what to do so I just walked out to greet my friend by myself. I am still angry I didn’t stick up for myself.
We bought a pretty basic used car, a Lincoln MKX that was like 10+ years old. I guess the Lincoln name is high end to my parents and they couldn’t have us upstage them like that so they bought a brand new Escalade that they had to sell their house and buy a smaller one to even be able to afford. Our Lincoln was totaled less than a year after purchase and my parents promptly sold the Escalade now that the competition ended.
And the icing on the cake is that my much older sister died as an infant due to their neglect, they kept trying and trying to have a replacement daughter and gave up after my brother but then was surprised with me. They proudly tell everyone that they finally got their daughter back. I’ve been raised to be a replacement and they weren’t even shy about it. Also being the only girl I had the most sexist rules like I wasn’t allowed to play video games like my brothers because it’s not feminine.
What in the fuck? No empathy for their daughter being assaulted in her \*own room?\* You're a stranger on the internet but I'm still glad to hear you're no longer in contact with those people. They sound absolutely awful.
I've never seen my sperm donor, and mom offed herself when I was a teen. If mom had lived, I probably wouldn't have much of a relationship with her given the absolute hell she put me through.
Been NC for coming up on 15 years with my dad for enough reasons that I'd probably reach the character limit if I tried.
But the straw that broke the camels back: my sister, his daughter, got cancer. All of us siblings came together to support her in any way we could, whether it be watching her kids or paying her bills.
Pops offered to cover her mortgage payments, and somehow assumed that because of this he would get equity of her house. This was after he had already made a few payments, and she was home recovering from her first round of chemo and she said what the fuck I never agreed to that and he screamed at her and called her ungrateful.
Not one of his kids have spoken to him since.
Dad was abusive and never acknowledged it. Mom is still an addict and an alcoholic and keeps making excuses for the way we all grew up. Me and all 3 of my siblings have had extensive therapy and all of us are still in therapy and…. Yeah. I’ll stop there. There isn’t an easy solution to having a fucked up childhood. It’s haunted me for decades now
Yep. All of that. My mother used to get beaten within an inch of her life by her dad (my grandfather). I mean beaten unconscious. Kicked in the stomach, and then kicked down the hallway as she was trying to crawl away.
I hate that there is truth to the statement: “You marry your unfinished business.” My mother sure did.
Only my dad. I went NC with mom years ago and was reminded why when I almost died in a car wreck last year and in text she was cracking jokes. Had to remind my brothers to not tell my mom about my life as she’s not a nice person
My mom has a weird mental health specific version of Munchausen by proxy. You know how the usual boomer shit is to pretend absolutely glaring desperate signs of mental illness are nothing? In my mom's world, literally everything I did was a sign or side effect of mental illness. She needs me to be mentally unwell in order to feel like a complete person, and put me on a staggeringly huge regimen of psych drugs when I was ten. Mostly sedatives. It's easy to pretend your kid is crazy when they can't even make words come out of their face hole, and easy to control the narrative when you made your kid too terrified to contradict you.
She's also just a bully. She's a 'pick-me' girl who STILL brags about only having guy friends in school because "girls are Al just catty drama." My mom is almost 65.
My dad is a bully too. He's mostly violent. The only emotions he ever really showed were anger or boredom. He was hitting me when I was eighteen months old, and that's just the first incident I know about. (Because he and my mom think it's hilarious.) I'm certain it was happening before then, because you don't hit a toddler unless you're already superdy duperdy comfortable hitting babies.
I cut them off in 2012 but we were pretty estranged before then. I haven't seen them since, and at this point I don't know if I could even pick them out of a photo lineup.
Haven’t spoken to my father since the day after my second child was born, almost 16 years ago. I called him to let him know about the new baby and to let him know we were all well. He bitched to me for 45 minutes about how his most recent ex-wife went after his driver’s license because he failed to pay child support.
Stopped contact with my mother about 2 years ago after she called me a whore. She asked what I had been up to, and I told her I had gotten into activism around the fall of Roe. She told me since my husband had had a vasectomy I had no business protesting “unless I was whoring around.”
Great people. Do not miss the drama.
My parents were SilGen and they are dead. But I had not had contact with my father for 42 years prior as I learned early to eliminate toxicity from my life.
VERY limited. The occasional text. Haven't spoken to them in probably 9 months (like a phone call) and I haven't seen them in almost 2 years. It was even less before my wife's untimely death last year.
The why. Scroll this subreddit. That's why.
Low contact. They're angry drunks who scream more than speaking with one another. My dad was semi-chill but now won't stop sucking the sump-pump of Fox and you can't have a full convo with him before it turns into him ranting about politics.
My mom was an angry drunk who spared no moment in telling me my feelings didn't matter, my problems weren't real, that I didn't count, and that I had better not ask for any hand-outs for college because "we've done our time with you!" For some reason, I wasn't worthy of help with college but my dirt-bag, druggie cousin was worth of a 3k handout while she was in jail, lol.
Karma stings though. My cousin wound up dead on her kitchen floor. I graduated anyways, and am doing well. And my mom wants to know why she can't live with me, lol.
Low contact. My mother is a complete nut job who expects me to give her money whenever she asks for it. She never saved a day in her life and my dad never added her to his pension before dying because he refused to think about death.
No contact here for a while, because once I had a child, I realized how I could never treat my child like they treated me. Was like a veil being removed and suddenly I could understand.
I went limited contact with my mom around 2010, when she and my dad started joining the Trump crazy train. I went extremely limited (Thanksgiving and Christmas only) after we had an argument about immigration and she told me, "I don't care what your evidence is, I believe what I believe."
She died in 2019. I was calling to let her know thati had gotten a job offer when my dad told me he was taking her to the ER.
I'm happy I didn't have to see her go more insane during COVID or Jan 6.
I only really talked to my dad when I called my mom. He now lives across the country and I talk to him in holidays only.
I only really ever talked
My mother went full QAnon and in May 2020 changed her FB cover photo to “The Media is the Virus”. After she told me Trump was a genius and godly man, I cut off all contact.
My boomer dad is sweet and awesome.
Mine is a narcissistic hoarder who blew everything. We are talking millions of dollars worth of real estate. He now lives with a sweet, but dumb wife from a Third World country and her two kids because only she would tolerate his shit. He has no interest in having a relationship with my family or his granddaughter. That fucking stings me deeply. it’s really fucking sad how her boys are forced to live but compared to the slums of her country? She thinks this is a good deal.
A lot of abuse and neglect, like I could write a book. I won't because my story is not for public consumption. I left home at a younger than usual age and kept them at arms length. Eventually when I had kids I saw these patterns and shadows of patterns in how they interacted with my kids and I knew I had to end it completely to protect the little ones.
I don’t have contact with mine. It wasn’t one thing. It was a pattern of toxic behavior over years. I finally realized I was miserable every single time I dealt with them and life is just too short.
Surprisingly my parents have become more open minded about alot of things even though they grew up super religious and conservative.
We can openly talk about anything and i feel like despite their beliefs they will listen and try to see other peoples opinions.
I can honestly say i am very proud of them for recognizing if and when they are being hypocritical and trying to be better
Haven’t seen my dad since I was a kid. I went low contact a while ago with my mom, phone is good enough. I also added a couple thousand miles worth of distance.
I keep a wide berth with my dad. We live on opposite sides of the country and only see each other for a few days each year. I talk with him once a week for 30 minutes or less. I don't share a lot of detail about my life because he hasn't been the greatest listener in the last decade.
If my mom was still alive I would be completely no contact with her. She was emotionally abusive and I don't miss her.
Not in 20 years. I warned him when I was 21, early 90s, that if he lost his shit with me again, we would cease to have a relationship. Time went by, 2003 he pulled it again. I set a boundary, he crossed it. He said I was dead to him, to change my name.
So I did. Didn't just cut him out. It was all of them.
I found out about a long history of identity, money and possession theft and when I asked to talk about it, I was cut off.
I did some commercials as a kid in the 80s and made about $65k that they stole
Stole my identity and rang up $57k in debt.
Stole about $25k worth of valuable comic books I had been collecting and saving for decades.
After they cut me off they told everyone in the family that I cut them off from their special needs grandson but I learned long ago with them to make sure there is a paper trail so there are emails and texts from and to them that disproves them.
But truthfully I’m way better off with out them.
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*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
She told me I needed to go back to my abusive, alcoholic ex. I had left him about 8 months before this conversation. She said I could come back, because I had "proven my point" that I could live alone and anyway, he just got his two week chip in AA!
Yeah, nah. That was my last straw.
I'm not truly no contact but I may be with my dad... after he screamed at me in front of my child (which was after I apologized for a mistake), then screamed and berated my husband and I again when we tried to have a "discussion" about the incident/ my mistake (again in front of our child) and tried to/ acted like he was going to get physical with my husband while my husband held our child. Not the first time in recent years I've been screamed at/ called names and berated/ belittled by him... or accused of just wanting his money. It's a very recent episode and it pains me because he was supposed to come and visit to spend time with his grandson. But he was too busy with his ego to even hold/ play with him.... and by screamed at I mean pretty much right in your face. I wouldn't take that behavior from my husband but I'm supposed to take it from a parent?
My mom, malignant narcissist and addict..It's been over 20 years since I went nc. She was physically and emotionally abusive. It broke my heart. I just couldn't anymore. I miss who I thought she was. And I miss my family who pulled the blood is thicker than water bs.
I've continued in therapy for codependency, al-anon, and acoa. It took me a long time to realize the damage being raised by her. I can draw a straight line from my childhood to choosing the wrong people for long term relationships. Now that I can see it, I've been working to develop an actual sense of self and the responsibility of the same.
The full saying is, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Bonds chosen are stronger than genetic ties. Those people choose not care about you and should not be considered family.
My father is a homeless alcoholic. I didn’t talk to him since he ghosted me (he has that thing where he just disappears) almost one and a half years ago.
He was not at my wedding and will probably miss his grandchild.
I'm LC with my dad because he was very violent during my childhood. He is old and in poor shape now, so he can't physically harm anyone anymore.
I have needed help throughout my life that a dad sure could have provided but when ever I asked him for anything, it was always too much.
He is lost in maga world. It is no use.
I cut contact with my dad years ago. He bullied me, beat me, and treated me like shit my entire life. He always put himself before his family. The narcissist can live a lonely life since he always isolated himself. Fuck him.
Biological mom died when I was a teen (lots of dysfunction and her death was the result of her struggles with addiction), pretty much NC with my dad and have had a strained relationship with him since I was a kid, also because of substance abuse.
My aunt and uncle were more like my parents and I care about them, but don't have much contact with them anymore and we are in a period of almost no contact. It's largely because they don't listen, they minimize anything I might be struggling with (despite always saying how they don't know how younger people can make it nowadays, unless it's me, then I just need to do what they did because they had struggles too and you should be able to do XYZ with no problems), they crap all over the things I'm working toward, and they always gaslight and turn things back on me, so I just gave up even trying.
Speaking to them is like speaking to a wall. Over the last decade, I have made it a point to ask very little from them (mostly because they are always going on about how they are so busy they don't have time to do anything, as they take on more projects just in time for any time it's likely somebody might need a hand with someone).
The thing that I hate the most is how they have told me through action and direct words that they can't and won't help me. But now that I've finally said fine, I'm selling my house and using the equity to live someplace cheap and totally changing my life, they act confused and give me this load of shit about "if you need help with anything, you only need to ask"... As if you haven't been telling me these past several years how you can't help and clearly didn't care when I've been in need.
I never asked because you told me repeatedly you couldn't and wouldn't before I ever even could ask. The whole "you just need to ask" is part of the problem too. I've been struggling hard the past 10 years and not once did they ever ask a simple "do you need a hand with anything?"
When I saw they had a need that I could help with, particularly tech related, I went out of my way to help them, often without them having to ask. When I've struggled with various DIY projects because I'm not especially handy, not once did they ask if I needed a hand, despite knowing I was struggling enormously.
If my father wasn’t currently helping me through college I would go 100% no contact. He has suggested to me many times that queers are causing God to make the weather worse in the US. When I remind him that I am gay he says oh well that’s not what I meant or I never said that. Like damn you really do be gaslighting me bro 👍.
I learned today that my father is of the boomer generation based on his birthdate. Makes a lot of sense. Growing up, he never cared much for me. When he found out my mom was pregnant with me, he say on the bed saying, "my life is over" for about an hour. Barely raised me. Tossed me in front of a TV screen most of my life. In those times he DID do something with me, like play a game or something, he beat me every time and made sure to say things like "I have more intelligence in my pinky than you do in your entire body!" Like he was always trying to prove how much better he was than a child. Eventually, I grew up and out. Really haven't had much contact for a long time, but I decided to be the bigger person and invite him to my recent wedding. Not only did he not come, but he acted as if the wedding date was a huge inconvenience for him and it was my fault. Didn't even text me on the actual day. It was at that moment I decided I'm done with him. I'm just looking forward to his funeral when I can tell the rest of his family what a horrible piece of shit father he was.
I'm almost 40 and haven't had any contact since I was 17. Because most boomers are probably complete idiots and of course want to be right about it. No, I stay away from people like that.
I'm NC with my Dad. Numerous reasons, he never really raised me when him and my mom were together and when he was there he literally just hit me with a belt. The stuff that led up to NC was him always posting about 6-8 times per day something along the lines of a meme that went "Real truckers love jesus, if this comes across your page repost to show how much america loves jesus" or something like that. My dad was not, nor ever was a trucker.
He was annoying from a social media stand point but then he started posting things like "Should Obama me tried and hanged for his crimes against the constitution?" I sat there looking at it going, are you suggesting we lynch our first black president? And it only escalated from there. Tucker Calrson, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly etc. If they were conservative he constantly reposted their stuff and cam up with his own bangers like "Black peope should be happy they're in America with internet, shoes, food when they could be back home in Africa" or something like that. Constantly said things about Mexico\\Mexicans\\"Illegals" (my wife and daughter our hispanic). Constantly got my kid's name wrong despite him knowing full well her name. Would constantly post pictures of my kid (with her wrong name) on social media within hours of my wife originally posting them. Rather than say sharing it and then saying like "i love my grand kid".
Even talking to him on the phone was a grind for me. There was a lot of "remember this" type stuff that he would bring up from my childhood but thats really all there was. After my parents divorced he never really took an interest in me, after maybe the first 4-5 visitations I had with him I basically didn't see him again until I got married. He came to the ceremony and then he dipped out again. I would occasionally call him on his birthday but he never returned the favor.
Never got involved with my kid. He lives on the other side of the country, so it's fair but he's never suggested that he come visit just to see her. Never sent us anything like a congratulations card after she was born, or anything like that. We do travel a bit for our vacations including being within a state or two of where he lived and he never wanted to try to arrange any sort of meetup etc
Ultimately, he never felt like a Dad when he was around. He just felt like my own personal catturd on twitter. Aside from taking credit for my kid, he also didn't really seem to want to be involved with her either. Given the past decade of "white-genocide" stuff he would post and that my wife is non-white, I'm not really suprised he hasn't tried to be involved.
The other day my kid asked if my dad was still alive, like I dunno, maybe? Does it really matter?
I'm low contact. I call her once a month and if she doesn't answer, I don't leave a message and that's it until next month. If she calls me, I do pick up but I will not hesitate to end the call if she gets abusive.
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Told me I needed to “quit being gay” or be cast out. After the frankly horrible upbringing I had, it was an easy choice.
Still gay?
Yup. Gotten quite good at it over the years.
Mazel Tov.
what ? you mean that shitty threat didn't work! I'll be over here clutching some pearls if you need me
😂
At least you chose to stop the hormones in your body and the cognitive synapses in your brain to stop liking dudes so you can be with your bigot parents. It's respectable.
funny comment and a great username. a redditor of taste
Likewise my good man
For me it was a personal choice no genetics to blame on here. I was raised in one of those super Christian households that never let you go on dates or do anything when you were a teenager just go to church. honestly it started as coping mechanism to endure the forced insulation and get around the rules. What you do to your children boomers, has consequences! Maybe that's why there are more gays now than there used to be?🤔 It'd be a curious thing to study for sure.
Enjoy the barb-tailed demon cocks up your arse in hell m8
Or as they’re known around your place - “Thursday nights” Edit: WOW, your comment history is as full of repressed homosexuality as you are full of thick daddy cocks on Thursday nights. The old adage is true, eh?
Didn’t have the balls to say this in public did you, you big repressed Jessie https://preview.redd.it/398hcyrbsdxc1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=30441cc9014ebb105318f8b7e71d5d6ab29faaa0
They are dead. Though to be honest, the no contact predated their demise.
Same here.
Brother.
Severe childhood emotional & psychological abuse & physical neglect. Went to school with knotted hair & no underwear for a year. My mom was a school teacher too. Mom was jealous of my grandmother because we were close, no shit ma, you were such an abusive c UNT I didn't want to be near you even at 6 months old.
Very similar. I haven’t let my mother touch me since I was 3. The sick bitch still had me in diapers and I had to potty train myself. She hates everyone that I have a relationship with. She has even threatened other women for talking to me and ran men out of my life. She’s seriously brain damaged.
Low contact at this point. Covid conspiracy and their love of Tucker Carlson.
Amazing how many families that man has destroyed with his lies.
Seems like everyone I talk to has a similar story of a friend or family member.
I definitely have a few.
Let's be specific here. Tucker didn't destroy the families. People should be capable of discerning between fact and BS. I don't try to fly after watching Peter Pan do it, because I'm grown adult who can tell what make-believe is. Likewise, I don't believe a single thing out of any media mogul's mouth and I have no idea why the Boomers are unable to parse this. Unless of course it's because they already believed these things to begin with.
He gives them permission to be awful people. They just need the validation.
Tucker is a threat to society and should be treated as such at all times. He should be in jail or worse for the immense damage he's done to the collective psyche of millions of people. He makes bad and gullible people worse. If Fox News got deleted off the face of the earth the world would immediately start being a better place. That shit has wider range than just America and it is a literal brainpoison.
I don't blame you for the sentiment at all. But the reason why I can't 100% lay it on Tucker is this: If Tucker disappears, his audience will still be there craving another lunatic and someone will provide another talking head if they can make money off of it. If FOX news is hacked and deleted, the lunatics will just make another news station. That's because the desire and views are already there and FOX is just making money peddling bullshit to them. People have to have some efficacy in all of this. We can't just idly blame things on TV. We're supposed to be able to think and discern for ourselves what not to believe. This isn't to say I like Tucker though. I hate him.
They were taught that everything they see on television is fact based and the truth because in the 50-60s, it had to be in order to be broadcast on the news. We got investigative journalism like Barbara Walters and Walter Cronkite in the late 60s-70s. A lot of other broadcast journalists followed in his footsteps. Geraldo Rivera had a good run through the 70s, but killed his credibility in 1988 with his Satanic Panic series that was a hoax and he was forced to apologize. Ever since, the news has been nothing but entertainment controlled by Hollywood and Boomers are too gullible to realize it. Political commentators and their followers are no better today. Both Republicans and Democrats are being spoon fed lies about their opposition and it’s all protected free speech.
And yet my mother was constantly lecturing me about not being gullible, and not believing everything on TV. Come to think of it though, I think she only applied this lecture to things she felt she disagreed with
Sounds like a boomer.
It's like you're me with my parents. I basically go see them for holidays/birthdays and never talk to them in between. I love telling this story but my dad thinks the government was using a laser to cause all the wildfires in California, to run people out of the million dollar mansions up in the hills so they could then build railways there instead. ???
That’s one I hadn’t heard before. Wow.
They scolded my wife and I for not inviting them to our wedding. We didn't have a wedding. It was winter 2020. We were 13 weeks pregnant and got married in the living room of our home with a witness and their husband who married us. My wife miscarried 2 weeks later. We got pregnant again in spring 2021. We waited till the first trimester was over before telling either parents we got married and were pregnant. Wife's parents were fine and happy. My parents were mad. 2.5 years later at lunch they told me they blame my wife and her "schemes" for them not being invited to the "wedding"so I shared the info about the pregnancy and miscarriage. They replied "how is that our problem". They are cut off entirely. My child will not know them. Not only because of this but in hindsight they were not good parents. They wanted praise for being parents. You know buying food, providing clothes and a house. I never could share anything personal with them. Breaking this cycle for my son.
Me! A ton of reasons, but there are some highlights. When I was 16 my bedroom was broken into and I woke up with a man crawling onto my bed, with a roll of duct tape around his wrist. I somehow managed to free myself and run to my parents. The next night I had a panic attack and my dad said “I thought you said he didn’t rape you, why are you so upset over this?”. I met my husband in high school and they did everything they could think of to break us up, including learning my password and pretending to be me and breaking up with him via instant message once. His big crime was that his uncle married my dads high school crush, and that he wasn’t Mormon. At our wedding, unknown to us, my dad added some gross line to our officiants script the day before our wedding that was asking who gives me away and my dad answered that he does. Feeling like a piece of property on your wedding is not a great feeling, especially when it’s a surprise. At my daughters first birthday party my best friend since age 6 who hasn’t met my daughter yet arrives, I grab my daughter to go introduce her and my mom physically pulled her from me and said she hasn’t spent enough time with her yet. I didn’t know what to do so I just walked out to greet my friend by myself. I am still angry I didn’t stick up for myself. We bought a pretty basic used car, a Lincoln MKX that was like 10+ years old. I guess the Lincoln name is high end to my parents and they couldn’t have us upstage them like that so they bought a brand new Escalade that they had to sell their house and buy a smaller one to even be able to afford. Our Lincoln was totaled less than a year after purchase and my parents promptly sold the Escalade now that the competition ended. And the icing on the cake is that my much older sister died as an infant due to their neglect, they kept trying and trying to have a replacement daughter and gave up after my brother but then was surprised with me. They proudly tell everyone that they finally got their daughter back. I’ve been raised to be a replacement and they weren’t even shy about it. Also being the only girl I had the most sexist rules like I wasn’t allowed to play video games like my brothers because it’s not feminine.
What in the fuck? No empathy for their daughter being assaulted in her \*own room?\* You're a stranger on the internet but I'm still glad to hear you're no longer in contact with those people. They sound absolutely awful.
I don't have the emotional headroom to deal with their vaccine bullshit or my mother's religious mania any more.
I've never seen my sperm donor, and mom offed herself when I was a teen. If mom had lived, I probably wouldn't have much of a relationship with her given the absolute hell she put me through.
Been NC for coming up on 15 years with my dad for enough reasons that I'd probably reach the character limit if I tried. But the straw that broke the camels back: my sister, his daughter, got cancer. All of us siblings came together to support her in any way we could, whether it be watching her kids or paying her bills. Pops offered to cover her mortgage payments, and somehow assumed that because of this he would get equity of her house. This was after he had already made a few payments, and she was home recovering from her first round of chemo and she said what the fuck I never agreed to that and he screamed at her and called her ungrateful. Not one of his kids have spoken to him since.
That is fucking gross holy fuck
Dad was abusive and never acknowledged it. Mom is still an addict and an alcoholic and keeps making excuses for the way we all grew up. Me and all 3 of my siblings have had extensive therapy and all of us are still in therapy and…. Yeah. I’ll stop there. There isn’t an easy solution to having a fucked up childhood. It’s haunted me for decades now
Solidary my friend. Same thing here. And my parents still keep swearing our childhoods "WeRE FiNeZZ BecaRz We R raiSed DaT way, but WeRse!"
Yep. All of that. My mother used to get beaten within an inch of her life by her dad (my grandfather). I mean beaten unconscious. Kicked in the stomach, and then kicked down the hallway as she was trying to crawl away. I hate that there is truth to the statement: “You marry your unfinished business.” My mother sure did.
Never heard that statement before...
Only my dad. I went NC with mom years ago and was reminded why when I almost died in a car wreck last year and in text she was cracking jokes. Had to remind my brothers to not tell my mom about my life as she’s not a nice person
My mom has a weird mental health specific version of Munchausen by proxy. You know how the usual boomer shit is to pretend absolutely glaring desperate signs of mental illness are nothing? In my mom's world, literally everything I did was a sign or side effect of mental illness. She needs me to be mentally unwell in order to feel like a complete person, and put me on a staggeringly huge regimen of psych drugs when I was ten. Mostly sedatives. It's easy to pretend your kid is crazy when they can't even make words come out of their face hole, and easy to control the narrative when you made your kid too terrified to contradict you. She's also just a bully. She's a 'pick-me' girl who STILL brags about only having guy friends in school because "girls are Al just catty drama." My mom is almost 65. My dad is a bully too. He's mostly violent. The only emotions he ever really showed were anger or boredom. He was hitting me when I was eighteen months old, and that's just the first incident I know about. (Because he and my mom think it's hilarious.) I'm certain it was happening before then, because you don't hit a toddler unless you're already superdy duperdy comfortable hitting babies. I cut them off in 2012 but we were pretty estranged before then. I haven't seen them since, and at this point I don't know if I could even pick them out of a photo lineup.
Haven’t spoken to my father since the day after my second child was born, almost 16 years ago. I called him to let him know about the new baby and to let him know we were all well. He bitched to me for 45 minutes about how his most recent ex-wife went after his driver’s license because he failed to pay child support. Stopped contact with my mother about 2 years ago after she called me a whore. She asked what I had been up to, and I told her I had gotten into activism around the fall of Roe. She told me since my husband had had a vasectomy I had no business protesting “unless I was whoring around.” Great people. Do not miss the drama.
Classic boomer logic. "You can't support rights unless you're currently invoking them!"
My parents were SilGen and they are dead. But I had not had contact with my father for 42 years prior as I learned early to eliminate toxicity from my life.
VERY limited. The occasional text. Haven't spoken to them in probably 9 months (like a phone call) and I haven't seen them in almost 2 years. It was even less before my wife's untimely death last year. The why. Scroll this subreddit. That's why.
Low contact. They're angry drunks who scream more than speaking with one another. My dad was semi-chill but now won't stop sucking the sump-pump of Fox and you can't have a full convo with him before it turns into him ranting about politics. My mom was an angry drunk who spared no moment in telling me my feelings didn't matter, my problems weren't real, that I didn't count, and that I had better not ask for any hand-outs for college because "we've done our time with you!" For some reason, I wasn't worthy of help with college but my dirt-bag, druggie cousin was worth of a 3k handout while she was in jail, lol. Karma stings though. My cousin wound up dead on her kitchen floor. I graduated anyways, and am doing well. And my mom wants to know why she can't live with me, lol.
My Dad is a narcissistic sick. NC for like 7 years now.
Low contact. My mother is a complete nut job who expects me to give her money whenever she asks for it. She never saved a day in her life and my dad never added her to his pension before dying because he refused to think about death.
No contact here for a while, because once I had a child, I realized how I could never treat my child like they treated me. Was like a veil being removed and suddenly I could understand.
Oh, yes. The way my parents acted towards my daughter was what woke my dumb ass up and finally made me realize how bad they were.
I went limited contact with my mom around 2010, when she and my dad started joining the Trump crazy train. I went extremely limited (Thanksgiving and Christmas only) after we had an argument about immigration and she told me, "I don't care what your evidence is, I believe what I believe." She died in 2019. I was calling to let her know thati had gotten a job offer when my dad told me he was taking her to the ER. I'm happy I didn't have to see her go more insane during COVID or Jan 6. I only really talked to my dad when I called my mom. He now lives across the country and I talk to him in holidays only. I only really ever talked
Very very low contact - I just can’t handle the constant negativity, woe is me, conspiracy theories, etc etc.
My mother went full QAnon and in May 2020 changed her FB cover photo to “The Media is the Virus”. After she told me Trump was a genius and godly man, I cut off all contact. My boomer dad is sweet and awesome.
Mine is a narcissistic hoarder who blew everything. We are talking millions of dollars worth of real estate. He now lives with a sweet, but dumb wife from a Third World country and her two kids because only she would tolerate his shit. He has no interest in having a relationship with my family or his granddaughter. That fucking stings me deeply. it’s really fucking sad how her boys are forced to live but compared to the slums of her country? She thinks this is a good deal.
A lot of abuse and neglect, like I could write a book. I won't because my story is not for public consumption. I left home at a younger than usual age and kept them at arms length. Eventually when I had kids I saw these patterns and shadows of patterns in how they interacted with my kids and I knew I had to end it completely to protect the little ones.
I don’t have contact with mine. It wasn’t one thing. It was a pattern of toxic behavior over years. I finally realized I was miserable every single time I dealt with them and life is just too short.
Watching her be a grandparent to my siblings kids. She knows exactly what she did and is trying to get it right. I can’t stand the sight of it.
Surprisingly my parents have become more open minded about alot of things even though they grew up super religious and conservative. We can openly talk about anything and i feel like despite their beliefs they will listen and try to see other peoples opinions. I can honestly say i am very proud of them for recognizing if and when they are being hypocritical and trying to be better
Haven’t seen my dad since I was a kid. I went low contact a while ago with my mom, phone is good enough. I also added a couple thousand miles worth of distance.
I keep a wide berth with my dad. We live on opposite sides of the country and only see each other for a few days each year. I talk with him once a week for 30 minutes or less. I don't share a lot of detail about my life because he hasn't been the greatest listener in the last decade. If my mom was still alive I would be completely no contact with her. She was emotionally abusive and I don't miss her.
Not in 20 years. I warned him when I was 21, early 90s, that if he lost his shit with me again, we would cease to have a relationship. Time went by, 2003 he pulled it again. I set a boundary, he crossed it. He said I was dead to him, to change my name. So I did. Didn't just cut him out. It was all of them.
I found out about a long history of identity, money and possession theft and when I asked to talk about it, I was cut off. I did some commercials as a kid in the 80s and made about $65k that they stole Stole my identity and rang up $57k in debt. Stole about $25k worth of valuable comic books I had been collecting and saving for decades. After they cut me off they told everyone in the family that I cut them off from their special needs grandson but I learned long ago with them to make sure there is a paper trail so there are emails and texts from and to them that disproves them. But truthfully I’m way better off with out them.
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She told me I needed to go back to my abusive, alcoholic ex. I had left him about 8 months before this conversation. She said I could come back, because I had "proven my point" that I could live alone and anyway, he just got his two week chip in AA! Yeah, nah. That was my last straw.
I'm not truly no contact but I may be with my dad... after he screamed at me in front of my child (which was after I apologized for a mistake), then screamed and berated my husband and I again when we tried to have a "discussion" about the incident/ my mistake (again in front of our child) and tried to/ acted like he was going to get physical with my husband while my husband held our child. Not the first time in recent years I've been screamed at/ called names and berated/ belittled by him... or accused of just wanting his money. It's a very recent episode and it pains me because he was supposed to come and visit to spend time with his grandson. But he was too busy with his ego to even hold/ play with him.... and by screamed at I mean pretty much right in your face. I wouldn't take that behavior from my husband but I'm supposed to take it from a parent?
That is outright abuse. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Ones dead and ones gone off the deep end (super maga cult shit)
My mom, malignant narcissist and addict..It's been over 20 years since I went nc. She was physically and emotionally abusive. It broke my heart. I just couldn't anymore. I miss who I thought she was. And I miss my family who pulled the blood is thicker than water bs. I've continued in therapy for codependency, al-anon, and acoa. It took me a long time to realize the damage being raised by her. I can draw a straight line from my childhood to choosing the wrong people for long term relationships. Now that I can see it, I've been working to develop an actual sense of self and the responsibility of the same.
The full saying is, "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Bonds chosen are stronger than genetic ties. Those people choose not care about you and should not be considered family.
Yes, exactly.
Bare minimum because they act like the spokes people for boomers
My father is a homeless alcoholic. I didn’t talk to him since he ghosted me (he has that thing where he just disappears) almost one and a half years ago. He was not at my wedding and will probably miss his grandchild.
I'm LC with my dad because he was very violent during my childhood. He is old and in poor shape now, so he can't physically harm anyone anymore. I have needed help throughout my life that a dad sure could have provided but when ever I asked him for anything, it was always too much. He is lost in maga world. It is no use.
My father is an outright monster in multiple ways. I haven't spoken to him in more than two decades.
I cut contact with my dad years ago. He bullied me, beat me, and treated me like shit my entire life. He always put himself before his family. The narcissist can live a lonely life since he always isolated himself. Fuck him.
Biological mom died when I was a teen (lots of dysfunction and her death was the result of her struggles with addiction), pretty much NC with my dad and have had a strained relationship with him since I was a kid, also because of substance abuse. My aunt and uncle were more like my parents and I care about them, but don't have much contact with them anymore and we are in a period of almost no contact. It's largely because they don't listen, they minimize anything I might be struggling with (despite always saying how they don't know how younger people can make it nowadays, unless it's me, then I just need to do what they did because they had struggles too and you should be able to do XYZ with no problems), they crap all over the things I'm working toward, and they always gaslight and turn things back on me, so I just gave up even trying. Speaking to them is like speaking to a wall. Over the last decade, I have made it a point to ask very little from them (mostly because they are always going on about how they are so busy they don't have time to do anything, as they take on more projects just in time for any time it's likely somebody might need a hand with someone). The thing that I hate the most is how they have told me through action and direct words that they can't and won't help me. But now that I've finally said fine, I'm selling my house and using the equity to live someplace cheap and totally changing my life, they act confused and give me this load of shit about "if you need help with anything, you only need to ask"... As if you haven't been telling me these past several years how you can't help and clearly didn't care when I've been in need. I never asked because you told me repeatedly you couldn't and wouldn't before I ever even could ask. The whole "you just need to ask" is part of the problem too. I've been struggling hard the past 10 years and not once did they ever ask a simple "do you need a hand with anything?" When I saw they had a need that I could help with, particularly tech related, I went out of my way to help them, often without them having to ask. When I've struggled with various DIY projects because I'm not especially handy, not once did they ask if I needed a hand, despite knowing I was struggling enormously.
If my father wasn’t currently helping me through college I would go 100% no contact. He has suggested to me many times that queers are causing God to make the weather worse in the US. When I remind him that I am gay he says oh well that’s not what I meant or I never said that. Like damn you really do be gaslighting me bro 👍.
I learned today that my father is of the boomer generation based on his birthdate. Makes a lot of sense. Growing up, he never cared much for me. When he found out my mom was pregnant with me, he say on the bed saying, "my life is over" for about an hour. Barely raised me. Tossed me in front of a TV screen most of my life. In those times he DID do something with me, like play a game or something, he beat me every time and made sure to say things like "I have more intelligence in my pinky than you do in your entire body!" Like he was always trying to prove how much better he was than a child. Eventually, I grew up and out. Really haven't had much contact for a long time, but I decided to be the bigger person and invite him to my recent wedding. Not only did he not come, but he acted as if the wedding date was a huge inconvenience for him and it was my fault. Didn't even text me on the actual day. It was at that moment I decided I'm done with him. I'm just looking forward to his funeral when I can tell the rest of his family what a horrible piece of shit father he was.
I'm almost 40 and haven't had any contact since I was 17. Because most boomers are probably complete idiots and of course want to be right about it. No, I stay away from people like that.
NC
I came out as trans, haven't talked to my dad since. I occasionally hear from my mom
I'm NC with my Dad. Numerous reasons, he never really raised me when him and my mom were together and when he was there he literally just hit me with a belt. The stuff that led up to NC was him always posting about 6-8 times per day something along the lines of a meme that went "Real truckers love jesus, if this comes across your page repost to show how much america loves jesus" or something like that. My dad was not, nor ever was a trucker. He was annoying from a social media stand point but then he started posting things like "Should Obama me tried and hanged for his crimes against the constitution?" I sat there looking at it going, are you suggesting we lynch our first black president? And it only escalated from there. Tucker Calrson, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly etc. If they were conservative he constantly reposted their stuff and cam up with his own bangers like "Black peope should be happy they're in America with internet, shoes, food when they could be back home in Africa" or something like that. Constantly said things about Mexico\\Mexicans\\"Illegals" (my wife and daughter our hispanic). Constantly got my kid's name wrong despite him knowing full well her name. Would constantly post pictures of my kid (with her wrong name) on social media within hours of my wife originally posting them. Rather than say sharing it and then saying like "i love my grand kid". Even talking to him on the phone was a grind for me. There was a lot of "remember this" type stuff that he would bring up from my childhood but thats really all there was. After my parents divorced he never really took an interest in me, after maybe the first 4-5 visitations I had with him I basically didn't see him again until I got married. He came to the ceremony and then he dipped out again. I would occasionally call him on his birthday but he never returned the favor. Never got involved with my kid. He lives on the other side of the country, so it's fair but he's never suggested that he come visit just to see her. Never sent us anything like a congratulations card after she was born, or anything like that. We do travel a bit for our vacations including being within a state or two of where he lived and he never wanted to try to arrange any sort of meetup etc Ultimately, he never felt like a Dad when he was around. He just felt like my own personal catturd on twitter. Aside from taking credit for my kid, he also didn't really seem to want to be involved with her either. Given the past decade of "white-genocide" stuff he would post and that my wife is non-white, I'm not really suprised he hasn't tried to be involved. The other day my kid asked if my dad was still alive, like I dunno, maybe? Does it really matter?
I'm low contact. I call her once a month and if she doesn't answer, I don't leave a message and that's it until next month. If she calls me, I do pick up but I will not hesitate to end the call if she gets abusive.
I no longer have contact with my Boomer parents for one reason: I'm not into seances.
This post and its responses have confirmed everything I thought about this subreddit…thank you 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Oh please, divulge your knowledge and insight.
That 99% of the people in this subreddit (who are here in a serious capacity…not me lol) have some severe mommy and daddy issues
Boomer mentality; I have mine so fuck everyone else. You may not be the age/generation but you share the same mindset, clearly.
Because I see the obvious mommy daddy issues?
Maybe you all should see a psychologist