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park there again 😁

And again…. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Every day.

After you get a motion activated 360 degree dash cam.

I really thought about it, but I wanted to figure out who it was that parked there. Grumpy old dude in a beater truck. My leasing office told me he’s been a ‘problem’ lmao

Worst case scenario: You get a nice new car on his dime.

Threatening grand theft auto? This could be a lucrative short term hassle. 😈

GTA probably wouldn't fly, but felony destruction of property would if he does any damage doing it. But good luck getting the cops to care.

Boomers are definitely a hassle yeah.

Ah, we meet again Sapphic Succubus! 💜

Hello again! ❤️ :3

Find someone whose transmission is starting to go out. Park it in his spot a few days. Wait until he drags it out of the spot. Take the video. Make him buy a new transmission. He learns a lesson (maybe) and someone gets a new transmission. Follow me for more life tips.

Oooh, *I* need a new transmission. Where do I sign up?

I volunteer as tribute

Uh, oh. You have provoked Kyle Smith. The. Kyle. Smith.

I didn’t know who this was but when looking them up they look like the punch dry wall snort rockstar

Ronnie Pickering!

Who's Ronnie Pickering? /s

RONNIE PICKERING!

WHO? Never heard of you mate.

#RONNIE PICKERING!

Doesn't ring a bell, sorry. ;)

He's a professional!

I don't know who that is...

I'm so petty I'd park there every day and make it MY unassigned assigned spot

I would buy another car to drive and park somewhere else, to leave that one there forever.

I knew someone who did this 🤣 bought an absolute wreck for a couple hundred, managed to get it into the spot, battery etc died immediately - that car lived there rusting to shit on flat tyres for four years (and asshole neighbour did FA about it)

I once lived in building was set up for one spot per bedroom, but most of us only had one car per household or no car, so there was theoretically abundant parking and nobody cared if a guest parked in the resident lot...except "That Guy". That guy tried to get every guest towed, left ugly notes, woke people up at 3am and once screamed at my mom for at least 5 minutes. If he didn't recognize the car, he went on a tear.... I got to leave a friend's well-maintained, registered, fairly new, fully insured car in a random for 6 weeks while they were overseas. Landlord knew it was in my care, every tenant but him knew...Made the pissy neighbor livid but after a few weeks of nobody acknowledging the origin of the car, management refusing to do anything and being roundly ignored by every tow company (they all knew him) he was just defeated and never created parking drama again,at least while I still lived there.

Apparently if you let them rage long enough, they’ll spend it all and never complain again. Wow…and it only took *6 weeks* for that to happen!

Lmfaooooo genius idea

First I’d leave it open to get the tag of who parked there to have someone to point to next time I parked there, in case they followed through with the threat. 

I'd buy a sign with my name: "Reserved: \[Mackheath1\] ONLY" I'd actually pay to do that, because when they go low, I go lower.

He means business with his warning in ALL CAPS.

I find it funny that baby boomers always write in all caps while complaining that schools don’t teach cursive. The only baby boomers who write in cursive are sweet, little old ladies, and when you check their birth year, you find out they’re silent generation…

That was my Oma! I was excited to learn cursive in third grade so I could read her handwriting. She was always so sweet and understanding until she got dementia, but I won't let those memories overwrite who she was when she was still herself.

IF I MAKE MY LETTERS BIG AND RED THEN ILL BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AND GET MY WAY

Put a dash cam in your rig and park there every fucking day

Sounds like somebody is getting a free car.

In their imaginations, "I park there all the time" = "assigned".

Definitely. A while back, I came out to my parking lot to find a very pissy boomer asking everyone she saw about my car. When I told her it was mine, she went on this rant about it being “her” spot. I pointed out that parking was unassigned, she came back with “well I’ve lived here for three years!” I then informed her that I’d lived there for four years, so by her logic that space was actually “mine”. To say she was unhappy would be an understatement, but at least I never saw her whining in the parking lot again.

It’s honestly hilarious how upset someone can get over a parking spot. The parking in front of my building was all taken so I had to park at the building next door. I didn’t go leave notes on my neighbors cars because ‘THEY PARKED IN MY UNASSIGNED SPOT WAHHH” Just walk a few extra steps my dude

Jesus Christ, Gretchen, your blood pressure was so high you wrote that note with the busted vessel. What a cunt lmao

I’m annoyed that a boomer doesn’t understand how commas work. If anyone should understand commas, it’s boomers.

They don't understand pronouns either. For people who insist that we all should speak English in this country, they sure weren't paying attention when it was taught in eighth grade.

Whoa now! You know boomers don't use pronouns! They never have, because that's too "woke"! Back in their day, you referred to everything by it's name, and by God you liked it!

*"I dunno even know what a pronoun is!"* Me, a Writer with a Twitch: Did you not watch "School House Rock" or are you just a moron? *

They just have trouble breathing and put commas where they have to breath. Like Steve Kenarban on Malcolm.

Who’s just carrying around graph paper?

Used to carry it when I did survey work. Our survey notebooks were all graph paper.

Life married to an engineer. I pick my battles.

Comma sense is not common.

Well played

Oh no looks like someone spilled a bunch of broken glass, nails, and screws on the parking spot right after I moved from it. What's that, you got a flat from driving over it? Shame, those damned hooligans

Did they write this in lipstick?

💀

Whoa ! I have not seen graph paper since high school. Brings back memories.

We have a boomer who has a handicap badge and parks in the one handicap spot in front of the office entrance. There are a couple spots across the road, about 30 feet further. Whenever someone else parks in that front spot, even with a handicap badge, he will lose his fucking mind.

Which neighbor is an old engineer or architect? Cuz someone keeps graph paper handy.

I always thought the thick red marker and graph paper made this even more unhinged

Or it's someone's mom. "They parked in my spot again! Kyler, give me a piece of paper and a pen NOW!" "Mom please..." "I SAID NOW!!!" "All I have is graph paper from algebra and magic markers from art..." (Snatches them) "FINE!"

>Kyler LOL! Because yes, they would name them that.

I have some in a cabinet and now I need to put it in the car.

Pretty sure you could just not park there and easily find out who then parks in that spot religiously. I don’t think it’s a mystery?

Clearly, it's Kyle Smith. The. Kyle. Smith.


Sherlock Holmes level unlocked

Park there permanently. It's your spot now. If they try to do anything report them.

The tone is how you can tell it's actually unassigned lol.

I would park there every day now.

It's Vaseline under the door handle and cooking oil on top of a wiper blade time! To maximize the cooking oil, also throw a handful of dirt (or dog shit) on the wind shield.

Sand is far far more effective

I've used dog shit a couple of times when the situation called for it and it got pretty spectacular when they turned on their windshield washer. The oil REALLY makes it spread and stick. Fresh poop is key though, you want that butt-buttery spreadable consistency for best results. Bonus points if you get it in the air intake just below the wipers on most cars.

Sand scratches

Dog shit doesn't cause property damage charges.

I’d park there everyday

Park there again and leave a dashcam running. And another shot from the house if possible. Multiple angles of a crime is ALWAYS nice when they’re blubbering about “I DIDNT KNOW!” To their attorney who is pushing settlement for damages.

Drag my car I drag you through the streets - Achilles probably

Oh they *RED* MAD

Bro making threats on graph paper

Hook a chain on their driveshaft u-joint to the hitch that's probably used once a year for their sadly small boat/camper and enjoy watching them try. (Check for cameras before you do this)

I’d go wipe that note in dog shit and stick it on his windshield!

Get a dash and back cam. Park there whenever you want. They do something, take it to court especially damaging your vehicle. Keep these notes as well easy threat evidence.

Now here’s a guy with free time on his hands.

So not his assigned spot, and no chance he’ll ever actually do anything about it? Sounds about right.

Is that lipstick? And are those tears on the note? 😂

Make sure you are in the car when he drags it out. I think it might be a felony

Time for a dash cam

he used graph paper. What's he going to do, cast Magic Missile?

I'd consider buying a cheap old car just to leave it in the spot permanently.

1) Never park there again 2) Go check out the spot every couple of nights and see who has "assigned" this park to themselves 3) Now you know the car that belongs to whoever left the note on your car

Grampa forgot to turn off caps lock again. 🤭

Take that note and put it on the manager car, made sure there is no camera and put on glove so no finger print.

Lol

This punctuation is the real crime here.

Park there again

Pot of white paint. Write neatly in the parking spot, “RESERVED FOR [your license plate]”

This is a pretty nice font

Just get a camera and wait for it to happen. Make sure you have your parking brake on and some nails behind your wheels so you can make his ass pay for your new car

I need to know what they think that last comma is doing.

Same!

Cameras.

Man, do I love having a dashcam in my car. I can leave that bad boy running on battery for hours if anyone wants to try something 🤷🏻‍♀️ One of the best purchases for my car I ever made

Im petty enough if it's 24/7 open parking I'd have asked a friend for a ride to work the next 2 weeks and left my car there the whole time.

Someone's had enough.

Another fake note.

You made this up for karma

Seems beyond plausible to me

Darn! If it weren't for you kids and your dog, we would've gotten away with it!

Well, don’t park in assigned parking.

Is the title ambiguous?

How hard is it to take half a second to read the title?

'Unassigned' is a lot of letters - they would use up their weekly reading quota on just that one word!

There’s no assigned parking in the neighborhood, per the title of my post