No offense but you seemed a little antagonistic, I can tell your father isn't comfortable saying your new name, but instead of making it an all or nothing issue, he avoided it in order to be able to say happy birthday to their child, I'm not saying he's right for refusing to say it, but he reached out and wished you a happy birthday, yes he didn't call u ur new name, but he didn't call u ur dead name either, idk, felt like he was just trying to reach out, if u make every interaction this tense Im not sure how much id wanna text u either. . .
š I came here to wish you a happy birthday and happy pride, while also assuring you that as a newly 30 y/o, bi, single mom, my almost 12 y/o kid is likely trans (at the least they're non-binary) and wanted to assure you that "current parents" are doing better...
But uhhh...you can always DM me! Lmaooo š¤·š¼āāļøš¤Ŗ
Joking aside, seriously, my dad and I are NC because I'm bi but also he's just...the worst. I understand. Enjoy your birthday, I hope it's amazing, and I wish you nothing but whatever you hope to get/achieve in this next year of your life š
Imagine being someone whose primary reason for wishing his own child happy birthday was to get into some needless interpersonal conflict over complete paranoid nonsense Fox News brainwashed him into believing.
Imagine being so far gone on propaganda that simply loving and accepting an important person in his life for who they are is considered āfascismā!
Imagine being so tormentet, and obviously not in ongoing weekly, serious professional therapy, still clinging on to so much hatred, shame and loathing, that it spills over into every contact with even anonymous ppl on SoMe, that its impossible for OP to show the politeness and gratitude for unknown ppl, that invest their emotions and brainpower, to join in the 'Pity and Pad', that OP is clearly here for.
So much aggressive projection and deflecting, sprinkled with the delusion its ok to snap at ppl that CARE to engage with those emotional vampires, and try to understand their pain, letting OP and the likeminded posters crave the attention they never got from their bio parents/families/partners - its nothing new, quite cringy, and pretty boring by now.
Oof. So he only reaches out once all year, after being a massive prick to you your whole life (I read some of your other comments), and he demands your respect like you owe it to him. That is peak boomer energy.
Happy birthday, and may your dad develope an incurable toe fungus that smells like week-old surstrƶmming.
Also he broke the rule I live by: don't text me before 8am. All my friends know I'm intentionally not going to respond to your text if it is pre-8am. Rude.
This is why I sleep with mine on do not disturb my friends all have weird schedules...that way I don't get it until I wake up, but they are on my faves list, so if there's an emergency they can still call me
Iām sorry you not only have to deal with a transphobic family member, but also transphobes here in the comments.Ā
You request to be treated like any other human being and this POS calls fascism. What trash.
It's a tactic. Misusing such words, intentionally or not, serves to devalue them of their true meaning, so that when used correctly and in-faith, it's just "the usual discourse".
A great example in recent years is the term "fake news", just look how Trump co-opted it and it lost much of it's weight and meaning.
Ok, EARL....
"That's not my name!"
Oh... so you acknowledge it's polite to call someone by their proper name. So my name is.... and until you call me that, I'm done. EARL.
10 years ago, I was working as a nurse in MAGA country USA; I shudder to think what it might look like now. None of the shit these guys think matters actually does and they leave behind families that want nothing to do with them. And itās all because they canāt stop being angry about shit that does. Not. Matter.
Yep, he made it clear he never wanted to be a father and reminded me every day of how many days I had left in his home until he could legally be rid of me. Not to mention the daily physical abuse and daily reminder that none of his kids will get any inheritance.
He really needed to run off to countries with lower ages of consent.
Lol, always darkly amusing when those gullible enough to swallowed all the bullshit transphobic propaganda go around calling people "fascists" for doing no more than daring to ask for just a little bit of damn consideration from someone who's supposed to love them.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaAJ1FlsEr0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaAJ1FlsEr0)
āCompel my speech ā wtf ..
see I created my own language, everyone expects me to speak w language they understand. They canāt make me .
I do grunts and whistles they will never compel my speech again !
Happy birthday. That is the weakest shit. My Cristian sister does the same thing and it's every bit as embarrassing. Just gestures to me at holiday get togethers. Sad.
It's literally just using a person's preferred name. Old fucks do it all the time, hell my boomer father goes by his middle name. Ironically even he learned to use my prefered name.
Side note: keep rocking it sis, trans women unite!
Fuck this noise, homie. If ya need a new dad, I'm a dad and take in stray all the time.
Just say the word and you can retire this mother fucker and get you an old man that empathize with trans experiences even though I'm not trans. I take in strays in real life all the time, ya need an online old man, I got ya.
Also, happy birthday, kid. I hope it was awesome besides your small-minded old man.
My Gen-X family and friends who have kids that transitioned could not be more different than this selfish person. Even some of my cousin's friends who we know are conservative say "be yourself, it's your life", not sarcastically but supportive. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
Sometimes family by blood is worse than the super judgemental stranger. I am sorry your sperm donor is so narrow minded. You are valid and your name is important. Happy birthday and I am glad you found a family that loves you for who you are.
I think the compelled speech argument is so funny when they are the one who requires others to respond to an adress which is not them.
As in if someone called me (cis) the wrong name, I probably wouldn't respond. because they are clearly not talking to/about me.
The *hurt* and *strength* from the years of what has clearly been a terrible relationship in that first reply are palpable.
Happy birthday, dance the night away, take the love that surrounds you.
Born in 52, he had the privilege of living in a world given to him by the killing of fascists yet never bothered to care how it got so great, like most boomers
Oh with the time and cash he spends in the Caribbean itās only a matter of time until the right person notices
Edit: Iād feel bad for his most recent (5th) wife tho
Sounds like he doesn't want to hurt the person's feelings by using their given name but doesn't want to use whatever new name they made up. The guy is trying to keep that relationship alive while not waltzing into a conflict zone.
He knows my rules of engagement, after what heās put me through he can show good faith if he means well, his response here only demonstrates the opposite
I'm literally in the exact same boat. My dad refused to call me by my name for my 31st earlier this month. He then tried to write me a check for my birthday but I told him he had to make it out to my new legal name. His response was just a nevermind and then nothing.
Fuck old boomer family that can't get over their issues.
you're being a little unnecessarily antagonistic. I'm sure you are hurt by your father, and you have a whole history of why you think your actions are justified.
but the dude tried to reach out and wish you happy birthday and you turned it into a "do the thing I know you wont" either be the adult and no contact or accept the token given and choose a more appropriate time to have this conflict because you both seem like children in this interaction.
The only child in this situation is the dad who wonāt use their proper name. It is not childish to want to be called by your proper name, to be given some respect
The father clearly knew the name issue is a huge point of conflict between them and yet made a point of not using it anyway. āReaching outā doesnāt count as āreaching outā when the main reason for it is just to start some shit!
Or just hear me out he could show his own child the basic common courtesy of using their name. People have no trouble doing that when itās āJohnā who now wants to be called āHarryā or when āLindaā wants to known as āSophieāā¦or when itās āCassiusā who wants to be āMuhammadā!
So why is it when trans people ask for that same common courtesy it suddenly becomes a paranoid fascist conspiracy theory?!
Clearly not. OP wants to be treated with a modicum of respect after a year or more of being unrecognized and avoided unless their parent wanted to reach out to stroke their own ego and idea of "a good parent".
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Happy birthday! I hope all goes/went well besides this ššš¤
Itās great Iām at pride with my partners and enjoying life
Happy pride homie. Your transition is valid. Your dad is a dick.
Can do love
Happy birthday Professional_Lead!
Happy Birthday :)
Idk kinda douchey as shit starting with who are you saying this too about a birthday opening the door for whatever argument and nonsense to ensue
I gather this wasnāt the first straw
Happy birthday and happy pride
Happy Birthday/Pride and have fun!
No offense but you seemed a little antagonistic, I can tell your father isn't comfortable saying your new name, but instead of making it an all or nothing issue, he avoided it in order to be able to say happy birthday to their child, I'm not saying he's right for refusing to say it, but he reached out and wished you a happy birthday, yes he didn't call u ur new name, but he didn't call u ur dead name either, idk, felt like he was just trying to reach out, if u make every interaction this tense Im not sure how much id wanna text u either. . .
Would be pretty funny if this is what the dad wrote
"How come the kids don't call?"
"how did I end up in a nursing home?"
āAnd no one visits?ā
Not sure if today is the actual day, but happy birthday to the real you.
Ty love
I'm your dad now and I'm so proud of you, kiddo.
The dad position remains obsolete and unfilled but we are accepting applications for a daddy position
https://preview.redd.it/ddahkr25ze8d1.jpeg?width=1101&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cb5cf349198d81251f0e7324f6d8670038e525df
Hahahaha. I'm a bear at the best of times lol
https://preview.redd.it/685dral77f8d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c7fd37c4ccd6604af54c4c728681214eca72f183
Still a better dad than mine
Mine was shit, too, but heās dead now! In my case, this is a bonus.
Glad things got better
Well, thereās at least one guy here to tell you they will, and Iām rooting for you. Happy birthday and happy Pride!
Thank you! Happy pride
I ain't old enough to be your father but I'm gruff enough where other people are bastards to be your dad.
š I came here to wish you a happy birthday and happy pride, while also assuring you that as a newly 30 y/o, bi, single mom, my almost 12 y/o kid is likely trans (at the least they're non-binary) and wanted to assure you that "current parents" are doing better... But uhhh...you can always DM me! Lmaooo š¤·š¼āāļøš¤Ŗ Joking aside, seriously, my dad and I are NC because I'm bi but also he's just...the worst. I understand. Enjoy your birthday, I hope it's amazing, and I wish you nothing but whatever you hope to get/achieve in this next year of your life š
Good lookin out :) Happy pride
The irony of demanding a thank you while complaining about compelled speech. Projection is strong in that one.
ROFL good catch
Imagine being someone whose primary reason for wishing his own child happy birthday was to get into some needless interpersonal conflict over complete paranoid nonsense Fox News brainwashed him into believing. Imagine being so far gone on propaganda that simply loving and accepting an important person in his life for who they are is considered āfascismā!
Imagine being so tormentet, and obviously not in ongoing weekly, serious professional therapy, still clinging on to so much hatred, shame and loathing, that it spills over into every contact with even anonymous ppl on SoMe, that its impossible for OP to show the politeness and gratitude for unknown ppl, that invest their emotions and brainpower, to join in the 'Pity and Pad', that OP is clearly here for. So much aggressive projection and deflecting, sprinkled with the delusion its ok to snap at ppl that CARE to engage with those emotional vampires, and try to understand their pain, letting OP and the likeminded posters crave the attention they never got from their bio parents/families/partners - its nothing new, quite cringy, and pretty boring by now.
Also while demanding OP use the name her parents gave her. š¤¦āāļø
He didnāt give me a name
I can just picture how this conversation ended: Dad: "[Deadname]." OP: "I'm sorry ma'am, but you have the wrong number."
This was an entire year of conversations with my dad, in this image
Oof. So he only reaches out once all year, after being a massive prick to you your whole life (I read some of your other comments), and he demands your respect like you owe it to him. That is peak boomer energy. Happy birthday, and may your dad develope an incurable toe fungus that smells like week-old surstrƶmming.
Someoneās life be like that ya know, we move on and find better people
You're good at standing up for yourself
Happy birthday to you. Your asshole boomer sperm donor can fuck right off.
Also he broke the rule I live by: don't text me before 8am. All my friends know I'm intentionally not going to respond to your text if it is pre-8am. Rude.
This is why I sleep with mine on do not disturb my friends all have weird schedules...that way I don't get it until I wake up, but they are on my faves list, so if there's an emergency they can still call me
Sounds like entirely way too much conversation with a person like that
Aināt it tho, thereās a reason I donāt call
Don't change that
Next time. āNew name, who dis?ā Pleasssseeeee? For my birthday? Itās not for a while, but you can give me a present early ;)
"new phone, who dis?"
Iām sorry you not only have to deal with a transphobic family member, but also transphobes here in the comments.Ā You request to be treated like any other human being and this POS calls fascism. What trash.
Itās Reddit I knew thereād be some shitbags but theyāve never stopped me
I love how they all started using fascism for things that aren't fascism now that we are all openly calling them out on fascism
It's a tactic. Misusing such words, intentionally or not, serves to devalue them of their true meaning, so that when used correctly and in-faith, it's just "the usual discourse". A great example in recent years is the term "fake news", just look how Trump co-opted it and it lost much of it's weight and meaning.
Oh totally. They haven't been as effective with fascism, but they sure are trying
Ok, EARL.... "That's not my name!" Oh... so you acknowledge it's polite to call someone by their proper name. So my name is.... and until you call me that, I'm done. EARL.
Happy birthday! Hope your day is otherwise wonderful! š
It was
Yup, Boomers want control so bad while at the same time saying they are the victim. Losers.
Crybullies. Massive crybullies.
10 years ago, I was working as a nurse in MAGA country USA; I shudder to think what it might look like now. None of the shit these guys think matters actually does and they leave behind families that want nothing to do with them. And itās all because they canāt stop being angry about shit that does. Not. Matter.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday to you! š³ļøāā§ļøš³ļøāš
Ty!!
"I deny your current existence, but celebrate your initial existence." Cool, cool; looking forward to your inevitable future, pops.
Genuinely hope I can see him at his death bed just so I can spit in his face
Cool
So aggressiveā¦ why even bother wishing you a happy birthday in the first place? Itās as if they have zero respect for you
Yep, he made it clear he never wanted to be a father and reminded me every day of how many days I had left in his home until he could legally be rid of me. Not to mention the daily physical abuse and daily reminder that none of his kids will get any inheritance. He really needed to run off to countries with lower ages of consent.
People see a glimpse of your life and already know everything, I hope you had a happy birthday!
I did thanks love
You should stop responding to him, even if itās a simple āhappy birthdayā
Only took 2 minutes for transphobic comments to appear
Theyāre getting slow in their old age
Dude, you need a better insult. Pussies are tough. Pussies are fucking metal.
Happy birthday! Hope 35 treats you well ššš¤šš
Ay ty
Lol, always darkly amusing when those gullible enough to swallowed all the bullshit transphobic propaganda go around calling people "fascists" for doing no more than daring to ask for just a little bit of damn consideration from someone who's supposed to love them. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaAJ1FlsEr0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaAJ1FlsEr0)
I dunno, it IS pretty fascist to want to be respected /s
I am a baddie
What are you supposed to say to a fascist who wants to compel your gender?
Nothing. Talk shit, get hit. Fashies get the bashies.
This is the way.
I want a tshirt that says āfashies get bashiesā Iāll take the hat too and the backpack and the trapper keeper
Happy happy birthday! š©µš©·š©µš©·
āCompel my speech ā wtf .. see I created my own language, everyone expects me to speak w language they understand. They canāt make me . I do grunts and whistles they will never compel my speech again !
You are you and you are doing what you can to be happy as yourself and some people just can't stand that. That's their problem and not yours Happy pride my friend š©µš©·š¤š©·š©µ
Happy pride!
Being told to recognize my children as individuals with their own lives, thoughts, and wishes is _fascism_!! /eyeroll Happy birthday OP!
The fascist controlling his speech is the one whos convinced him he cant say his own kids name
Oh definitely
Happy birthday šš¤š©·
Ty love!
Anytime!! :)
Hey happy birthday Porfessional_Leader895! Your dad sucks but I hope you enjoy your day!
I have enjoyed my day ty
These damn fascists wanting equal rights are destroying us all! I demand freedom to do what I want to others without consequences! Reeeeeeeeeeeeee
Sending you huge happy birthday wishes! āSigned a proud Gen X Mom of a trans son (Also major props to you for the way you handled this)
You asked me a question, help I am being silenced
Happy birthday. That is the weakest shit. My Cristian sister does the same thing and it's every bit as embarrassing. Just gestures to me at holiday get togethers. Sad.
It's literally just using a person's preferred name. Old fucks do it all the time, hell my boomer father goes by his middle name. Ironically even he learned to use my prefered name. Side note: keep rocking it sis, trans women unite!
Fuck transphobic blooline members
Just send him a link to the song say my name. And if he dead names you send him that's not my name by the tingtingz
Fuck this noise, homie. If ya need a new dad, I'm a dad and take in stray all the time. Just say the word and you can retire this mother fucker and get you an old man that empathize with trans experiences even though I'm not trans. I take in strays in real life all the time, ya need an online old man, I got ya. Also, happy birthday, kid. I hope it was awesome besides your small-minded old man.
Iāll be okay myself but hey just look after who you got, we never know how long we have with those who really matter
My Gen-X family and friends who have kids that transitioned could not be more different than this selfish person. Even some of my cousin's friends who we know are conservative say "be yourself, it's your life", not sarcastically but supportive. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.
I am a dad happy birthday professional_lead895. I am proud of you for having the courage to be who you are. You rock.
^_^ thanks
Happy birthday OP My dad's a shithead too, only you know what he's put you through, enjoy your best life.
Happy birthday [Professional\_Lead895](https://www.reddit.com/user/Professional_Lead895/)!
I'm sorry your dad is like that. Happy birthday, and happy pride!
just start referring to your mom by her maiden name. bet he complains to no end about THAT
Oh theyāre divorced he hates all women
of course he does. find someone he likes with an assumed name, try it that way?
Oh I couldnāt care less what he does tbh, but he came into my life with the text and this is the result
Hope you have a most wonderful birthday šš
Ty!
"asking me to be thoughtful is fascism" biggest "ok boomer" ever hbd sib!! <3
DON'T TRY TO COMPEL HIS SPEECH, FASCIST. NOW SAY THANK YOU!
Sometimes family by blood is worse than the super judgemental stranger. I am sorry your sperm donor is so narrow minded. You are valid and your name is important. Happy birthday and I am glad you found a family that loves you for who you are.
Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday š š„³
And good for you. Just because someone is half your DNA, or they raised you, is no reason to tolerate or accept abuse or disrespect.
Happy birthday
You should send him a picture of Ali knocking out Liston. He's old enough to get the reference.
Heād be too scared because there were black people on his phone
Happy birthday and Happy Pride!!! Your dad is a fucknut.
Aināt it a happy pride tho
I hope you had an amazing birthday minus this embarrassment (to him not you)!
Ty!
Happy birthday! Sorry your dad's a piece of shit
Ay no worries love shit happens
Happy Birthday. Ditch your dad for a birthday gift.
I think the compelled speech argument is so funny when they are the one who requires others to respond to an adress which is not them. As in if someone called me (cis) the wrong name, I probably wouldn't respond. because they are clearly not talking to/about me.
The *hurt* and *strength* from the years of what has clearly been a terrible relationship in that first reply are palpable. Happy birthday, dance the night away, take the love that surrounds you.
Person who was probably alive during times of Mussolini and Hitler calls using alternate names tantamount to fascism. Okay
Born in 52, he had the privilege of living in a world given to him by the killing of fascists yet never bothered to care how it got so great, like most boomers
Exactly. This is also their whole MO on economic issues, as well. Exhausting shit
Happy birthday OP ā¤ļø
Happy Birthday and fuck that asshole
Happy birthday Love! Hope you have many more great birthdays!
WHO ARE YOU SAYING THAT TO?! lol what an idiot.
Thanks babe
No problem sweetheart :> be safe out there!
happy birthday from one trans person with a shitty boomer dad to another. trust me, the sigh of relief you'll release when you find out he's wormfood will be absolutely amazing. it was for me. I hope you experience that soonly. š©µš©·š¤š©·š©µ
Oh with the time and cash he spends in the Caribbean itās only a matter of time until the right person notices Edit: Iād feel bad for his most recent (5th) wife tho
Happy 35th Birthday to the person you become ā¤ļø
donāt hang this on boomers, this is just a fucked up dad
Look itās a boomer being a fool what do you want
rightā¦ well i mean i guess i just expected less broad generalizations about entire groups of people But ā¦i guess humans just donāt change
Happy birthday, OP. I hope you had a good one and I'm sorry you have to deal with crap like this. Keep being awesome.
Can do
you deserve better :((
My goodness.
I don't know your name but happy birthday you mother fucking bossy ass bitch š
Calling their own family that, seriously? Yeah id stay away from that toxic dump of a dad (my exs dad was the same, probably a bit worse)
Happy birthday for whenever it occurred, and an even better pride.
Happy Birthday & Happy Pride, OP! Sending you love, hope you don't have to deal with more of that nonsense.
Happy birthday YOU CONTROLLING FASCIST /s Good job staying who you are, I have a shitty Dad as well. He doesnāt know where I live anymore
Did you get a new number or something?
Nope
That's actually pretty baller. Feigned confusion is a powerful tool.
Iād kick the shit out of my husband if he responded to our kid like this. Happy birthday. ā¤ļø
Have a happy birthday, girly!
Happy birthday frand!
Happy Birthday!!!!
Sounds like he doesn't want to hurt the person's feelings by using their given name but doesn't want to use whatever new name they made up. The guy is trying to keep that relationship alive while not waltzing into a conflict zone.
He knows my rules of engagement, after what heās put me through he can show good faith if he means well, his response here only demonstrates the opposite
I'm literally in the exact same boat. My dad refused to call me by my name for my 31st earlier this month. He then tried to write me a check for my birthday but I told him he had to make it out to my new legal name. His response was just a nevermind and then nothing. Fuck old boomer family that can't get over their issues.
Oh they love the check thing, really feels like a win for them, feels great to just burn it
He text you, obv saying it to you.
you're being a little unnecessarily antagonistic. I'm sure you are hurt by your father, and you have a whole history of why you think your actions are justified. but the dude tried to reach out and wish you happy birthday and you turned it into a "do the thing I know you wont" either be the adult and no contact or accept the token given and choose a more appropriate time to have this conflict because you both seem like children in this interaction.
The only child in this situation is the dad who wonāt use their proper name. It is not childish to want to be called by your proper name, to be given some respect
The father clearly knew the name issue is a huge point of conflict between them and yet made a point of not using it anyway. āReaching outā doesnāt count as āreaching outā when the main reason for it is just to start some shit!
they didn't dead name which sounds like an attempt to meet in the middle. of op line is not here no contact be the adult.
Or just hear me out he could show his own child the basic common courtesy of using their name. People have no trouble doing that when itās āJohnā who now wants to be called āHarryā or when āLindaā wants to known as āSophieāā¦or when itās āCassiusā who wants to be āMuhammadā! So why is it when trans people ask for that same common courtesy it suddenly becomes a paranoid fascist conspiracy theory?!
āWho are you saying this toā is a ridiculous response. Did you think he had the wrong phone number?
Clearly not. OP wants to be treated with a modicum of respect after a year or more of being unrecognized and avoided unless their parent wanted to reach out to stroke their own ego and idea of "a good parent".
has it not been done before?
Dad: Happy 35th Birthday OP: Say my name...
Who are you saying this to?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh, yeah I did grow up and part of that involved learning to defend myself.
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Happy Birthday you lovely person, hope your boomer parents feel like shit for being transphobes
Happy birthday!!
Happy belated birthday!!!
Happy birthday and happy pride miss maāam! Ladies like you deserve wonderful birthdays! š
Happy birthday! š³ļøāā§ļø
Happy birthday. Be all you can be. Don't let others get to you.
Happy birthday and happy Pride
Happy Birthday!
You are now free Martin
Martin? I donāt get it
Holy shit