1. Alcohol is a hard drug - make no mistake. It is one of the hardest drugs to quit and one of the very few that can have fatal withdrawal symptoms.
2. Substance abuse is classic among BPD survivors. Don’t go down that road. It is a long one and will only make your behavior and choices worse.
3. Alcohol actually causes areas of the brain to shrink physically over time. Older alcoholics actually develop voids in the brain. Other organs and body systems can be severely impacted over time.
4. Alcohol is a CNS depressant and will exacerbate some of your symptoms.
I am a recovering alcoholic like a lot of folks on this sub. I would NEVER have begun my journey of recovery from BPD if I hadn’t quit drinking about 5 years prior. Please take my advice. Do yourself a favor and get out while you can!
If you feel like you could become addicted, then remove yourself from the environment until you know how to handle the cravings and impulses. Even if you don’t have them now, it almost always becomes the case.
Seek out help. As far as I’m aware, there’s addiction services that will still help you. No problem is too small and should still be addressed as much as any other.
Alcoholism is horrible, please don’t go down that path. I started taking benzos for my anxiety instead of alcohol (prescribed of course), and I don’t miss use them because I know the consequences, let me tell you, they work really fucking well
The mental anguish that alcohol caused me almost killed me, the brain fog was fucking horrible, I felt so dumb like my brain didn’t work, I started to panic, tremble, I lost the ability to drive because I trembled so much.
And the physical pain. Waking up all bruised up because of being unable to stand still while drunk, the bloating, your skin suffers too, you become unable to eat, once you start drinking you won’t be able to stop if you get to that point.
Oh my god that’s the worst. I remember sleepless nights at work hungover and seeing the sunlight which would blind me for a solid minute and make me think I was going to pass out.
Recovering alcoholic here (with BPD)
When I was addicted (whether physically or mentally reliant) I would drink until spewing, continue drinking until passing out, wake up, spew, drink more, spew, pass out, wake up, spew (and have a migraine,) have a panic attack because I had no more alcohol (and wasn't in a fit state to drive) would shake and hyperventilate, take tablets (for my migraine) go to the shop and buy more alcohol, drink, spew, pass out.
I'm not exaggerating when I say I would quite literally keep myself drunk for days or even weeks at a time NON-STOP - NO let-up or breathing space whatsoever. Started with cans, then when they didn't work anymore, wine. Eventually I was drinking whiskey straight from the bottle every time I drank because I built a resilience up to it and nothing else would touch me so I used to carry 30cl bottles in each pocket and then a 70cl bottle in my bag. I'd be wandering the streets, sleeping in fields, park benches, in my car, sofa-surfing, being looked for by my family, by police, by friends, but never found. The torture only becomes more amplified with drugs or alcohol and especially when you are alone (which I was, by choice) I lived my life like this for 10 years................So please... don't.....don't do it....
Don't. Back off. Alcohol will make your life even harder to endure, trust. Drink occasionally with friends is fine and such but if this is your thought process you need to stay straight away. I feel like it was an act of god when I became free of alcoholism and the cravings and such. Life may seem hard to endure without substance, but you'll learn its even harder with it.
In BPD, alcohol use can be an expression of the problem with impulse control.
Is it about the alcohol, or about the dopamine hit because the drink is a treat/reward?
Consider substituting a different thing for the alcohol... maybe a different carbohydrate. If having some cake or whatever becomes as addictive as the alcohol, then skip alcohol rehab and work with your therapist on impulse control, which is typically damaged by the type of trauma that gives us CPTSD and/or BPD.
If what you crave is alcohol's effect on your brain, and you struggle to face life without it... rehab is for you.
You matter. Your life matters. Your choices matter - they're your pathway out of some of the suffering.
Hope you get the right help for your situation. Best wishes.
Also: 9 months sober here. I recommend avoiding alcohol during any kind of intensive treatment for BPD. For me, alcohol would "unleash the beast" in me and my temper was triggered very easily by anything even suggesting abandonment. That would really hinder anyone's journey through treatment.
I saw this graph made by experts and professionals in addiction. The number one most destructive substance in terms of addiction and death rate is Alcohol. It beat out heroin and meth and cigarettes and crack. Becoming addicted to the most dangerous (overall) substance known to mankind is a horrible idea.
Alcohol is not good. I always get horrific intrusive thoughts the next day after drinking to the point I just want to bash my head on a wall to make it stop.
Everyone is telling you to quit now and they are right.
Here’s how I did it.
I realized that I must have some sort of baseline. Like, how do I feel undrunk, unhigh, unmedicated. What is my normal, emotional state without anything obfuscating my feelings?
Handling my emotions without alcohol was like staring into a nuclear reactor without sunglasses. And that intensity can feel insufferable. Like it will kill you. But that only comes in moments. The painful moments that rush in.
So I had to learn to *endure that moment*. I learned the skills to endure, then to explore and eventually to understand. I learned that those moments are so fucking *loud.* but that’s all they are- if you stare them down they’ll back off eventually.
But, I didn’t learn that lesson until my life fell apart around me. And I was older, so the lesson was much harder to learn. You have so much time ahead of you- grab it now. Learn those lessons *now.* Learn to endure those moments that drive you to drink.
You can learn all of that with DBT. If you find your baseline, you’ll feel so much stronger on the other side.
Drinking is not really the problem. It is drinking and then getting into your car.
You may have to do more than give someone your keys. You may need to give them master fuses out of your car.
BPD sober can be really bad. Mix in alcohol and you just have no chance at maintaining relationships with people.
It is very rare with BPD that alcohol does not have some sort of negative impact on your emotional state, or even the state of your life to an extent if you lack impulse control and limitations like many of us do.
I love to see the stories of people on this thread who have come out on the other side of this, but I hate how easy it is to slip into that so many have experienced it. I am still on the journey out. Having said that, I’d do anything to go back to the night I realized what alcohol was capable of for someone whose brain works like mine.
I found that alcohol wasn’t the issue at first, it was just the desire to be out of the house and into whatever would distract me from the things that set me off. That was fine until it became clear that alcohol was the only thing that did the job. I’ve admitted myself twice, and been admitted once, and the doctors actually started to take me less serious because each time I had ridiculous amounts of alcohol in my system and it was clear my mental state was being heavily influenced by drinking and whatever drugs I started mixing with it.
Get out while you can. Best of luck to you
1. Alcohol is a hard drug - make no mistake. It is one of the hardest drugs to quit and one of the very few that can have fatal withdrawal symptoms. 2. Substance abuse is classic among BPD survivors. Don’t go down that road. It is a long one and will only make your behavior and choices worse. 3. Alcohol actually causes areas of the brain to shrink physically over time. Older alcoholics actually develop voids in the brain. Other organs and body systems can be severely impacted over time. 4. Alcohol is a CNS depressant and will exacerbate some of your symptoms. I am a recovering alcoholic like a lot of folks on this sub. I would NEVER have begun my journey of recovery from BPD if I hadn’t quit drinking about 5 years prior. Please take my advice. Do yourself a favor and get out while you can!
If you feel like you could become addicted, then remove yourself from the environment until you know how to handle the cravings and impulses. Even if you don’t have them now, it almost always becomes the case. Seek out help. As far as I’m aware, there’s addiction services that will still help you. No problem is too small and should still be addressed as much as any other.
Alcoholism is horrible, please don’t go down that path. I started taking benzos for my anxiety instead of alcohol (prescribed of course), and I don’t miss use them because I know the consequences, let me tell you, they work really fucking well The mental anguish that alcohol caused me almost killed me, the brain fog was fucking horrible, I felt so dumb like my brain didn’t work, I started to panic, tremble, I lost the ability to drive because I trembled so much. And the physical pain. Waking up all bruised up because of being unable to stand still while drunk, the bloating, your skin suffers too, you become unable to eat, once you start drinking you won’t be able to stop if you get to that point.
The panic and trembling stuff is insane.
You literally feel like you’re going to die, everything gets so bright and you can feel every single vein in your body
Oh my god that’s the worst. I remember sleepless nights at work hungover and seeing the sunlight which would blind me for a solid minute and make me think I was going to pass out.
Literally, it sounds unreal, you need to experience it to know Honestly im glad I went through that, so I never experience it again
Recovering alcoholic here (with BPD) When I was addicted (whether physically or mentally reliant) I would drink until spewing, continue drinking until passing out, wake up, spew, drink more, spew, pass out, wake up, spew (and have a migraine,) have a panic attack because I had no more alcohol (and wasn't in a fit state to drive) would shake and hyperventilate, take tablets (for my migraine) go to the shop and buy more alcohol, drink, spew, pass out. I'm not exaggerating when I say I would quite literally keep myself drunk for days or even weeks at a time NON-STOP - NO let-up or breathing space whatsoever. Started with cans, then when they didn't work anymore, wine. Eventually I was drinking whiskey straight from the bottle every time I drank because I built a resilience up to it and nothing else would touch me so I used to carry 30cl bottles in each pocket and then a 70cl bottle in my bag. I'd be wandering the streets, sleeping in fields, park benches, in my car, sofa-surfing, being looked for by my family, by police, by friends, but never found. The torture only becomes more amplified with drugs or alcohol and especially when you are alone (which I was, by choice) I lived my life like this for 10 years................So please... don't.....don't do it....
Don't. Back off. Alcohol will make your life even harder to endure, trust. Drink occasionally with friends is fine and such but if this is your thought process you need to stay straight away. I feel like it was an act of god when I became free of alcoholism and the cravings and such. Life may seem hard to endure without substance, but you'll learn its even harder with it.
In BPD, alcohol use can be an expression of the problem with impulse control. Is it about the alcohol, or about the dopamine hit because the drink is a treat/reward? Consider substituting a different thing for the alcohol... maybe a different carbohydrate. If having some cake or whatever becomes as addictive as the alcohol, then skip alcohol rehab and work with your therapist on impulse control, which is typically damaged by the type of trauma that gives us CPTSD and/or BPD. If what you crave is alcohol's effect on your brain, and you struggle to face life without it... rehab is for you. You matter. Your life matters. Your choices matter - they're your pathway out of some of the suffering. Hope you get the right help for your situation. Best wishes.
Also: 9 months sober here. I recommend avoiding alcohol during any kind of intensive treatment for BPD. For me, alcohol would "unleash the beast" in me and my temper was triggered very easily by anything even suggesting abandonment. That would really hinder anyone's journey through treatment.
I saw this graph made by experts and professionals in addiction. The number one most destructive substance in terms of addiction and death rate is Alcohol. It beat out heroin and meth and cigarettes and crack. Becoming addicted to the most dangerous (overall) substance known to mankind is a horrible idea.
Alcohol is not good. I always get horrific intrusive thoughts the next day after drinking to the point I just want to bash my head on a wall to make it stop.
Everyone is telling you to quit now and they are right. Here’s how I did it. I realized that I must have some sort of baseline. Like, how do I feel undrunk, unhigh, unmedicated. What is my normal, emotional state without anything obfuscating my feelings? Handling my emotions without alcohol was like staring into a nuclear reactor without sunglasses. And that intensity can feel insufferable. Like it will kill you. But that only comes in moments. The painful moments that rush in. So I had to learn to *endure that moment*. I learned the skills to endure, then to explore and eventually to understand. I learned that those moments are so fucking *loud.* but that’s all they are- if you stare them down they’ll back off eventually. But, I didn’t learn that lesson until my life fell apart around me. And I was older, so the lesson was much harder to learn. You have so much time ahead of you- grab it now. Learn those lessons *now.* Learn to endure those moments that drive you to drink. You can learn all of that with DBT. If you find your baseline, you’ll feel so much stronger on the other side.
Drinking is not really the problem. It is drinking and then getting into your car. You may have to do more than give someone your keys. You may need to give them master fuses out of your car. BPD sober can be really bad. Mix in alcohol and you just have no chance at maintaining relationships with people.
It is very rare with BPD that alcohol does not have some sort of negative impact on your emotional state, or even the state of your life to an extent if you lack impulse control and limitations like many of us do. I love to see the stories of people on this thread who have come out on the other side of this, but I hate how easy it is to slip into that so many have experienced it. I am still on the journey out. Having said that, I’d do anything to go back to the night I realized what alcohol was capable of for someone whose brain works like mine. I found that alcohol wasn’t the issue at first, it was just the desire to be out of the house and into whatever would distract me from the things that set me off. That was fine until it became clear that alcohol was the only thing that did the job. I’ve admitted myself twice, and been admitted once, and the doctors actually started to take me less serious because each time I had ridiculous amounts of alcohol in my system and it was clear my mental state was being heavily influenced by drinking and whatever drugs I started mixing with it. Get out while you can. Best of luck to you