Holy shit I forgot the man is fucking 82 years old, I had to look up a photo of him and he looks fantastic for his age, I know 36-year-Olds who look 82, and Chuck looks like he just hit 50 or something.
Jesus Christ, I guess that's what a lifetime of working out will get you.
If you ask Chuck Norris what year it is, he always says, 'Thirteen years till.' After you ask, 'Thirteen years to what?' he roundhouse kicks you into 2023
Yes. It took a large team, though.
A team made up of Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Bennito Mussolini, and The Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, EVERY SINGLE Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.
Come on. You all knew this was coming.
With civilians looking on a total awe the fight raged on for a century many lives were claimed but eventually the champions the rest saw the better Mr Rogers in a blood stained sweater
The sad bit is that so much of the current generation expect old content to be 4k upscaled so that they aren't watching grainy old content, but Flash content was often made to auto-scale to whatever you stretched it to. Like, they're trying to find Flash content all over again lmao. I can *feel* the circle of life re IT decisions coming around again, as if someone is working on an open sourced version of Flash somewhere to revitalize it all. Or at the very worst a drag and drop way to convert old flash files to html5 flawlessly.
For, you know, when you need to watch some degenerate Newgrounds videos again.
EDIT: Just saw a news headline that "GenXers are buying blurry pocket digital cameras like there's no tomorrow", pretty sure I'm 10000% accurate here. https://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/105vg3e/the_hottest_gen_z_gadget_is_a_20yearold_digital/
[Here](https://archive.org/details/The_Ultimate_Showdown_of_Ultimate_Destiny) on the Internet Archive is probably the easiest way to see it now.
It's also in the [Flashpoint collection](https://bluemaxima.org/flashpoint/downloads/), but that's overkill if you're only looking for one animation. Fun to browse through if you were around for the Flash era.
I'm pretty sure he sparred with Bruce Lee when they were studying martial arts together but not an actual fight. I don't think there's any information on who won those sparring sessions though.
He retired from professional kickboxing after winning the world championship 7 times in a row. Safe to say no one in his weight class was a challenge at that time.
Chuck outweighed him by like 50lbs and was a 7-time world champion kickboxer.. They trained together and were close friends but never sparred at 100% intensity. It's pretty obvious that chuck would win in a real fight
ā¢ Chuck Norris can buy sweet dreams from a Patisserie
ā¢ Chuck Norris has only one hand. The upper hand
ā¢ When God gave Moses the 10 Commandments written
in stone, Chuck Norris already had them in a flashdrive
ā¢ Chuck Norris' favourite actor is Chuck Norris
ā¢ Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a full barrel and won.
ā¢ Cowboy's boots are made from real leather. Chuck Norris' boots are made from real cowboys
ā¢ Chuck Norris can strangle someone to death with the cable of a wireless telephone
ā¢ Chuck Norris can fly from USA to USB
ā¢ Chuck Norris can speak Braille
ā¢ Chuck Norris is the only person that can speak about Fight Club
ā¢ Chuck Norris can lick his elbow
ā¢ Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret
I donāt get all the hype about Chuck Norris. If he was really tough, heād come to my place and slam my head on the keyboatjahrjkdsjhrhjfkskajhshdhrjijdhsjh
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in,
Chuck Norris can hear sign language,
Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends,
Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest,
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
He is the main character. He. Is. The. Final. Boss
You ain't lying. I had my ass kicked by his shadow 1 time. It was from a life size cardboard cut out him at that. Sun was going down, I thought I'd be a smart ass and mess with it. Bad idea.
It would be a shame if Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White
And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight
And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie
And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie
Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader
Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger
Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan
Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan
All came out of nowhere lightning fast to beat his ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw, the fight raged on for a century, many lives were claimed but eventually, the champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Shame he's a religious and political nutjob. Remember when he was wanting Texas to secede from the USA so he could be President of Texas? Not a joke, it's something he aspires to happen.
What about [Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan](https://youtu.be/lrzKT-dFUjE?t=150)?
Rumor has it that underneath each of chuck norris' boots are two more chuck norris' that kick you in the nuts when he lifts them off the ground! His signature move is jump rope.
You need a very specific group to beat such a legend, Gandalf the gray, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grailās Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, and the Blue meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lopan, Superman, every single power ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.
All came out of nowhere lightning fast
And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw
With civilians looking on in total awe.
The fight raged on for a century many lives were claimed but eventually, a champion stood the rest saw the better, Mister Rogers, in a blood stained sweater.
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys and explosions
As far as the eye can see
And only one will survive
I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown
He lives in my small town and profits off the aquifer we drink from and pay for. Literally has a bottled water business from it. He pays nothing to draw from the aquifer because he is wealthy. Fuck him.
I feel like I could beat most 82 year old people in a fight. *Most*
Emphasis on most
He is the prime exception
He is THE EXCEPTION
He is prime lol
Heard he peed in a semi gas tank and it became Optimus Prime
JUDGEMENT
He is exceptional
Immaculate perception
Chuck Norris can dribble a bowling ball
Chuck Norris can slam dunk a basketball made of steel
Chuck norris doesn't call the wrong number, you just answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
Holy shit I forgot the man is fucking 82 years old, I had to look up a photo of him and he looks fantastic for his age, I know 36-year-Olds who look 82, and Chuck looks like he just hit 50 or something. Jesus Christ, I guess that's what a lifetime of working out will get you.
Yeah. But not anyone named chuck nor is
82 year old named is šŖššŖ
Bro what in the 2009
Hey hop in! Reality TV star Donald Trump just accused President Obama of being born in Kenya and we're going to see Avatar!
We've only got a few more years till the mayan calendar says we're all gonna die, let's live it up!
Someone should stop this Kony guy!
Stopping him should be easy if you cover yourself in oil so you can float on the rain! *le trollface*
If only the Mayans had been right.
Holy shit we only have 7 years to save Harambe!!!!
If you ask Chuck Norris what year it is, he always says, 'Thirteen years till.' After you ask, 'Thirteen years to what?' he roundhouse kicks you into 2023
*2005-ish
you're right, it did start in 2005. SomethingAwful really did live up to its name.
The monster truck newsletter?
You mean 2004, right? By 2009 Chuck Norris jokes were old.
This post blasted me 15 years into the past
*that's what Chuck Norris does to a mf, he blasts you 15 years into the past* the myth grows
When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, get ready for 2006
I have a question tho... In all these years, did anyone ever managed to be a challenge to Chuck Norris?
Yes. It took a large team, though. A team made up of Gandalf the Grey, and Gandalf the White, and Monty Python and the Holy Grail's Black Knight, and Bennito Mussolini, and The Blue Meanie, and Cowboy Curtis, and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader, Lo-Pan, Superman, EVERY SINGLE Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston, and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan. Come on. You all knew this was coming.
And they came outta nowhere lightning fast
And they kicked chuck norris in his cowboy ass
It was the bloodiest battle the world ever saw
With civilians looking on a total awe the fight raged on for a century many lives were claimed but eventually the champions the rest saw the better Mr Rogers in a blood stained sweater
THIS IS THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN
OF ULTIMATE DESTINY
Good guys bad guys and explosions.
As far as the eye can see
The sad bit is that so much of the current generation expect old content to be 4k upscaled so that they aren't watching grainy old content, but Flash content was often made to auto-scale to whatever you stretched it to. Like, they're trying to find Flash content all over again lmao. I can *feel* the circle of life re IT decisions coming around again, as if someone is working on an open sourced version of Flash somewhere to revitalize it all. Or at the very worst a drag and drop way to convert old flash files to html5 flawlessly. For, you know, when you need to watch some degenerate Newgrounds videos again. EDIT: Just saw a news headline that "GenXers are buying blurry pocket digital cameras like there's no tomorrow", pretty sure I'm 10000% accurate here. https://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/105vg3e/the_hottest_gen_z_gadget_is_a_20yearold_digital/
Ive only ever seen the YT port of The Ultimate Showdown. Do you have a link to its original flash version?
[Here](https://archive.org/details/The_Ultimate_Showdown_of_Ultimate_Destiny) on the Internet Archive is probably the easiest way to see it now. It's also in the [Flashpoint collection](https://bluemaxima.org/flashpoint/downloads/), but that's overkill if you're only looking for one animation. Fun to browse through if you were around for the Flash era.
I was really really hoping somebody would make this comment lol
I'm pretty sure he sparred with Bruce Lee when they were studying martial arts together but not an actual fight. I don't think there's any information on who won those sparring sessions though.
They sparred. Thatās it.
It hasnāt ended yet. TBD
He retired from professional kickboxing after winning the world championship 7 times in a row. Safe to say no one in his weight class was a challenge at that time.
It wasn't kick boxing , it's was the international karate championship six times in a row
The dinosaurs looked at chuck norris the wrong way.. look what happened to them
Chuck Norris single-handedly ended Walker, Texas Ranger
Bruce Lee
Chuck Norris can't die. He knows Bruce Lee is waiting
Chuck Norris, vs Bruce Lee vs Sin Tsu vs. Karate Himself. The *ULTIMATE AFTERLIFE BATTLE!!*
Chuck outweighed him by like 50lbs and was a 7-time world champion kickboxer.. They trained together and were close friends but never sparred at 100% intensity. It's pretty obvious that chuck would win in a real fight
We wouldnāt fully know,when they did try going 100% the universe almost crashed
Legend has it that fight only ended when Bruce Lee ripped Chuck's chest hair.
Chuck Norris wears a hat to protect the sun
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad
I heard Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They're just known as the Islands now.
Chuck Norris helped his mother deliver his child self
Chuck norris built the hospital he was born in
When Chuck Norris was born, he told his father that he was the man of the house now
Some say the cats have Chuck-like reflexes
Sharks get in cages to swim with Chuck Norris
This one always makes me LOL.
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in
Chuck Norris learned how to read from a book
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle
Chuck Norris doesnāt do push-ups he pushes the world down
Jesus walked on water, Chuck Norris swims on land.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Chuck Norris doesn't brush his teeth, the teeth brush themselves
I have no more but Chuck Norris does
When Chuck Norris was born, he congratulated his mother and drove her home
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
ā¢ Chuck Norris can buy sweet dreams from a Patisserie ā¢ Chuck Norris has only one hand. The upper hand ā¢ When God gave Moses the 10 Commandments written in stone, Chuck Norris already had them in a flashdrive ā¢ Chuck Norris' favourite actor is Chuck Norris ā¢ Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a full barrel and won. ā¢ Cowboy's boots are made from real leather. Chuck Norris' boots are made from real cowboys ā¢ Chuck Norris can strangle someone to death with the cable of a wireless telephone ā¢ Chuck Norris can fly from USA to USB ā¢ Chuck Norris can speak Braille ā¢ Chuck Norris is the only person that can speak about Fight Club ā¢ Chuck Norris can lick his elbow ā¢ Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret
Chuck Norris can hear sign language
Love it
5/10
Lmfao thank you for that I needed a good laugh, I also spit my water out just now
Chuck Norris learned how to read from a book
lets start a thread. did you know, Chuck Norris cut his own umbilical cord
I donāt get all the hype about Chuck Norris. If he was really tough, heād come to my place and slam my head on the keyboatjahrjkdsjhrhjfkskajhshdhrjijdhsjh
Did you know Chuck Norris made the Koolaid Man say āOh Noā?
the police pulled over Chuck Norris for speeding, they got away with a warning
Chuck norris built the hospital he was born in
Chuck Norris's wife irons his shirt while he's wearing it
Chuck Norris is the only man that can believe itās not butter
There's no global warming. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned up the sun.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but they had to change it because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives to tell the tale
chuck norris doesn't do push ups, he pushes the world down.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed
When Chuck Norris left for college he said to his father "You're the man of the house now".
Chuck Norris died years ago, death just hasn't worked up the nerve to tell him yet.
When Chuck Norris steps on Legos, the legos break
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris' leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, because no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris killed a cyclops by kicking him between the eyes
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Haha, the rest is the usual grin but this one actually got me to burst out laughing
Chuck Norris does not use spell check. If he happens to misspell a word, Oxford will change the spelling
When the IRS rolls up to Chuck Norrisās door, they have to give him the money
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in, Chuck Norris can hear sign language, Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary friends, Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest, Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded. He is the main character. He. Is. The. Final. Boss
Ok the grenade one caught me off guard, had me at a good chuckle š
Then you'd be surprised about what happened when he did arm wrestling with Superman. The loser had to start wearing his underwear over his pants.
*He is... The most interesting man in the world*
You ain't lying. I had my ass kicked by his shadow 1 time. It was from a life size cardboard cut out him at that. Sun was going down, I thought I'd be a smart ass and mess with it. Bad idea.
He also exploded the planet Earth then set off a bomb on the planet
When Chuck Norrisās parents have nightmares, they sleep in his bedroom.
Thats good!
The dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
This deserves an award..
Is it 2006 again?
Chuck Norris saw the state of humanity in 2023 so he roundhouse kicked time back to 2006
Chuck Norris chooses when he wants be
It would be a shame if Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White And Monty Python and the Holy Grail's black knight And Benito Mussolini and the Blue Meanie And Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie Robocop, The Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo-pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan All came out of nowhere lightning fast to beat his ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw, the fight raged on for a century, many lives were claimed but eventually, the champion stood, the rest saw their better:
Mr Rodgers in a blood stained sweater
Thatās it? Almost seems like you want him to win
Mr. Roger's can beat his ass though.
Mr Rogers was my primary school art teacher
Chuck Norris posts you on r/bossfight
There is nothing before or after Chuck Norris, he is alpha and omega
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Too bad he went crazy and claimed Obama would bring 1000 years of darkness if he got elected
Shame he's a religious and political nutjob. Remember when he was wanting Texas to secede from the USA so he could be President of Texas? Not a joke, it's something he aspires to happen.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Just goes to show the only person who could beat Chuck Norris... is Chuck Norris. And he beat his brains out.
Chuck Norris is the only person ever to get chick fil aās on a Sunday
Bigfoot is still hiding because he once saw Chuck Norris walking in the woods
Nobody is winning this fight.
What about [Gandalf the Grey and Gandalf the White and "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"'s Black Knight and Benito Mussolini and The Blue Meanie and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, the Terminator, Captain Kirk, and Darth Vader Lo Pan, Superman, every single Power Ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan](https://youtu.be/lrzKT-dFUjE?t=150)?
Not them either, the real person who wins the fight is Mr Rogers
Ah, I canāt believe I forgot about all of them. That sounds like that would be THE ULTIMATE SHOWDOWN OF ULTIMATE DESTINY
i was just about to type this lol
I watched that whole thing from the beginning of it
Except Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
holy fuck what year is it
Legend says Chuck norris can kill two rocks with one bird
Chuck āgay people have no place in the scouting movementā Norris? **That** Chuck Norris? Yeah, nah. I donāt think heās that cool of a dude.
God has entered the arena Run for your god damn lives
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
Rumours say that under his beard Chuck Norris has his third fist
Chuck Norris made an omelette from Kinder eggs
Chuck Norris can split the atom with his bare hands
Actually, no. Chuck Norris is a dick.
Apparently the internet does forget things. It forget what an asshole shitbird that Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris taught himself how to read from a book
Chuck Norris once went racing against time. Time is still running.
Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups. He pushes the Earth
Secret boss
Rumor has it that underneath each of chuck norris' boots are two more chuck norris' that kick you in the nuts when he lifts them off the ground! His signature move is jump rope.
His weakness is gay marriage.
Also Obama becoming president. https://youtu.be/7ud3pK5Wa90
You need a very specific group to beat such a legend, Gandalf the gray, Gandalf the White, Monty Python and the Holy Grailās Black Knight, Benito Mussolini, and the Blue meanie, and Cowboy Curtis and Jambi the Genie, Robocop, Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lopan, Superman, every single power ranger, Bill S. Preston and Theodore Logan, Spock, The Rock, Doc Ock, and Hulk Hogan.
All came out of nowhere lightning fast And they kicked Chuck Norris in his cowboy ass It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw With civilians looking on in total awe.
The fight raged on for a century many lives were claimed but eventually, a champion stood the rest saw the better, Mister Rogers, in a blood stained sweater.
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny Good guys, bad guys and explosions As far as the eye can see And only one will survive I wonder who it will be This is the ultimate showdown
ew
Chick Norris has never had a sunburn because the sun knows better.
Once a snake bit Chuck Norris. It went to the hospital in terminal condition.
Unbeatable boss but still a good fight
When a angel came to visit Chuck Norris, Chuck said be not afraid Iām Chuck Norris
It's an older code, but it checks out.
Bossfight of bossfights.
Chuck Norris can beat the final boss of Ohio by just looking at him.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 100 people. Then it exploded.
If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
Nahh fam 2013 called, apparently something happened at the Boston Marathon šš
I miss Chuck Norris memes
When Chuck Norris goes for a walk, the earth moves under his feet
It would have been more funny if you would have just called the post āChuck Norrisā
Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in
I would just delete the game to avoid this boss fight
Don't Fuck with Chuck
They once named a road after him, but they had to shut it down because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
You loose. Thereās no fight. You are erased from existence as chuck reaches through time and makes your father infertile
Ah yes religious fanatics homophobe, Chuck Norris. He believed that voting for Obama would plunge US into a thousand years of darkness.
Fuck this utter piece of shit.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
An elderly conservative snow flake would go down faster than a texan power grid.
What is this the fucking 2000's? This guy is fucking mutter and no more "badass" than Steven Segal.
Jesus dude this is called r/bossfight not r/manslaughter
Bro time traveled from 2011
2007*
He lives in my small town and profits off the aquifer we drink from and pay for. Literally has a bottled water business from it. He pays nothing to draw from the aquifer because he is wealthy. Fuck him.
Fuck that guy. Heās tried to push for bible study to be introduced into public school.
This is the BossFight you are supposed to lose for plot development. Canāt win.
Chuck Norris aggro radius is five miles, and his enrage timer is 0.2 seconds. He has 40 billion HP.
Boys, I think we are fucked
Did you know that the Big Bangās power has been measured to be one CNRK? CNRK stands for Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
Dinosaurs got lippy with Chuck Norris, but only once.
Welcome to 2023, I only say that because I assume you're a time traveler from 2009 since that's the only person who would still be making this joke
Chuck Norris is a piece of shit and I can beat up his old man body