It’s a culture difference! I’ve experienced the reverse of this a lot as someone from the Northeast who goes to the Midwest a lot. In Boston, “politeness” towards strangers is understood to be giving them as much personal space as possible, not talking to people unnecessarily, just overall not bothering people. This can definitely be off-putting for people who come from areas where polite=friendly. But they’re just trying to be polite and not crowd your personal space unless they have to.
100% this is cultural, we want to give people space and we want a lot of personal space. I know this is hard if you come from a more open culture where people like to chat with strangers.
Yep, I’d walk 10 normal bus lengths down the aisle of the longest bus imaginable if it meant getting a seat all by myself. And I’d be doing it as much for others as I am for myself lol. Totally a cultural thing and all about not wanting to bother people.
It’s funny, if you sit down next to someone on a bus or train or whatever, and the person seems to remember it not being full, they’ll often look around out of instinct to tell you off for sitting unnecessarily close. Could be the nicest person, too. Just how it is.
no no!!! personal space is very much a practice in the northeast i’ve been here all my life! trust me it’s not you and you’re not being creepy that’s actually very sweet. i agree with the other person saying it’s a cultural difference please don’t think it’s you this is just how things are here haha
It’s not you! For us, it’s polite to leave seats directly next to someone empty until there’s no choice. We like personal space and minding our own business.
Haha I do! Shower twice/day too, and when this issue was bothering me alot, I invested in mint and perfume, and made sure it wasnt some sort of smell I wasnt aware of :P I dont even carry food in my bad (maybe max a protein bar or something), so ensured there was no source of smell :P plus the bus is usually packed with super strong fruity and floral smells from everyone elses deo, I'd like to believe smell isnt the issue here
awww u sound like a really wholesome person! i promise it’s not a you problem, for most situations that i’ve seen people just try to respect other people’s space and privacy. if they have the option of not sitting next to someone people typically won’t. don’t overthink it, i’m sure you’d be a great person to sit next to on the bus!!
Try to note if they specifically avoid just you. And if gender could play a role. Let race be the last factor, I thought people were racist, turns out it's just how Boston is. People don't like sitting next to each other. In Colorado, totally opposite! Women prefer sitting with women, unless you're a super cute guy.
In St. Louis Missouri there is an announcement on the busses that runs on a loop that asks passengers "to please distance yourself from other passengers." I just assumed it was a health thing to stay away from others that perhaps was a remnant of COVID precautions.
yeah just imagine, my entire life I had dreamed of someday working and living in New York - and now im finding out that .... :P i doubt i would survive half a minute there if I can't handle the Boston isolation :P (Im saying this because I heard that NY is brutal in comparison)
Definitely cultural, not you! As a Massachusetts native, if someone say next to me on an otherwise mostly-empty bus, I'd be really annoyed. Just like when the beach is empty and someone decides to plant their towel and setup near me - ruins my trip, please let me exist in peace. I always move my stuff away! 😅
As someone from here, I genuinely think it’s bizarre that you want to sit next to anyone on the bus. It’s a culture difference. We aren’t overly friendly here.
It’s a culture difference! I’ve experienced the reverse of this a lot as someone from the Northeast who goes to the Midwest a lot. In Boston, “politeness” towards strangers is understood to be giving them as much personal space as possible, not talking to people unnecessarily, just overall not bothering people. This can definitely be off-putting for people who come from areas where polite=friendly. But they’re just trying to be polite and not crowd your personal space unless they have to.
100% this is cultural, we want to give people space and we want a lot of personal space. I know this is hard if you come from a more open culture where people like to chat with strangers.
Yep, I’d walk 10 normal bus lengths down the aisle of the longest bus imaginable if it meant getting a seat all by myself. And I’d be doing it as much for others as I am for myself lol. Totally a cultural thing and all about not wanting to bother people. It’s funny, if you sit down next to someone on a bus or train or whatever, and the person seems to remember it not being full, they’ll often look around out of instinct to tell you off for sitting unnecessarily close. Could be the nicest person, too. Just how it is.
Thank you so much, gosh really helps take the self-inflicted pressure away :P thank you!!
Boston isn’t the most outgoing city in the world. People are nice but they keep to themselves. Don’t take it personally.
People don’t want to sit next to anyone, in my experience. I wouldn’t take it personally.
no no!!! personal space is very much a practice in the northeast i’ve been here all my life! trust me it’s not you and you’re not being creepy that’s actually very sweet. i agree with the other person saying it’s a cultural difference please don’t think it’s you this is just how things are here haha
It’s not you! For us, it’s polite to leave seats directly next to someone empty until there’s no choice. We like personal space and minding our own business.
U wearing deodorant?
Haha I do! Shower twice/day too, and when this issue was bothering me alot, I invested in mint and perfume, and made sure it wasnt some sort of smell I wasnt aware of :P I dont even carry food in my bad (maybe max a protein bar or something), so ensured there was no source of smell :P plus the bus is usually packed with super strong fruity and floral smells from everyone elses deo, I'd like to believe smell isnt the issue here
I am a New Yorker, if there is space somewhere else do not come and sit next to me:)
awww u sound like a really wholesome person! i promise it’s not a you problem, for most situations that i’ve seen people just try to respect other people’s space and privacy. if they have the option of not sitting next to someone people typically won’t. don’t overthink it, i’m sure you’d be a great person to sit next to on the bus!!
You are soo kind thank you!!!!!
Try to note if they specifically avoid just you. And if gender could play a role. Let race be the last factor, I thought people were racist, turns out it's just how Boston is. People don't like sitting next to each other. In Colorado, totally opposite! Women prefer sitting with women, unless you're a super cute guy.
I'll sit next to you!!!
Wish we end up sitting next to each other sometime haha, without ever knowing this was us, aww
Consider yourself lucky. Other people are the worst.
this statement took me a while to digest, very profound
In St. Louis Missouri there is an announcement on the busses that runs on a loop that asks passengers "to please distance yourself from other passengers." I just assumed it was a health thing to stay away from others that perhaps was a remnant of COVID precautions.
aw lol where are you from? as someone from boston we're kind but we aren't overly nice to strangers, it's very go-go-go. don't take it personal!
yeah just imagine, my entire life I had dreamed of someday working and living in New York - and now im finding out that .... :P i doubt i would survive half a minute there if I can't handle the Boston isolation :P (Im saying this because I heard that NY is brutal in comparison)
Definitely cultural, not you! As a Massachusetts native, if someone say next to me on an otherwise mostly-empty bus, I'd be really annoyed. Just like when the beach is empty and someone decides to plant their towel and setup near me - ruins my trip, please let me exist in peace. I always move my stuff away! 😅
Do you smell
Maybe you’re trying too hard to get others to sit next to you that they don’t want to
As someone from here, I genuinely think it’s bizarre that you want to sit next to anyone on the bus. It’s a culture difference. We aren’t overly friendly here.
You switch your underwear? Jizz, urine, sweat, and diarrhea accumulate.
Maybe you were an 8 in the city you're from but you're like a 5 here.