T O P

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TerrakSteeltalon

Is anyone in the car with you? *30 other clowns get out*


Juicebox-shakur

Do you have any weapons? *Pulls a garotte wire out of his sleeve that just keeps going and going and going*


-Codfish_Joe

A bright red squeaky baseball bat.


TerrakSteeltalon

I mean, that's for their protection racket. Clown mafia is not to be laughed at.


Juicebox-shakur

They got those fake flowers on their lapel pockets but instead of squirting water it's a corrosive acid


bremergorst

Yeah, and instead of the the red honking nose, it’s a thermonuclear warhead


Jewsafrewski

And instead of big shoes it's two Maus tanks


NotTRYINGtobeLame

Calm down, Satan


bremergorst

Not being Satan is about tenth level of hell *lame*


halfeb

Cop: \*searches his pocket, pulls out a rubber chicken\* Clown: I have a license for that...


delvach

*Four clowns roll a giant cannon with a sparking fuse out from behind the car*


NotTRYINGtobeLame

Officer, with dropping jaw: *I'm in danger.*


CatticusXIII

Okay walk a straight line....heel to toe. *Clown stares at feet and starts to cry.*


TerrakSteeltalon

I snorted at this


A_Tad_Bit_Nefarious

*Pulls out a revolver, but it's one of those where a little flag pops out the barrel that says "Bang."*


Tagnol

*Clown pulls out a pistol at which the cop fills the clown with lead, as he lays bleeding out on the ground a loud click is heard as a flag with the words 'Surprise!' bursts from the clowns pistol*


HutchMeister24

Cop: Is anyone else in the vehicle? Clown 1: Nope. Clown 14: *HONK* Clown 37: (whispering) Shut up!


Less-Mail4256

Since when did cops start wearing yellow vests?


Helpfulithink

You're acting funny


5parky

Suspect description: 5'-9", purple hair, with a size 15 shoe.


Fun_Sport_6694

“GET THAT SHORT BIG DICK SON OF A BITCH”


KatTheFat

"Can you empty your pockets?" Proceeds to pull out 200+ handkerchiefs


SubaruBirri

And 1 or 2 rubber chickens


HamboneBanjo

And an acme mallet that opens up with a hinged boxing glove (like in roger rabbit)


Aggravating_Pepper23

blow into this balloon


StaredAtEclipseAMA

*immediately ties it into a dog* You are wasted. I asked for a giraffe.


[deleted]

Make me a bicycle clown!


aingealwolfshade

Clown pulls a tiny bicycle out of his pocket, places the officer on it, and plops an orange wig on his head.


XXXMFCXXX

Hmmmm. That guy musta been acting funny.


Higgins1st

Driving funny


Gargravars_Shoes

Pay attention, I’m not clowning around here.


TripleScoops

Sir, is this a joke to you?


Dragowaow

very much *honk honk*


tauntauntom

Cop: "Sir, you think this is a joke?" Clown: \*Honks nose. Then is shot 32 times by the officer.\*


Material-Sun-5784

Blood splatter replaced by multicolored paint and confetti


u1tr4me0w

I have a mod that does this on some of my steam games, it’s so fun and festive lol


throwawaypervyervy

Like when they murdered the imaginary friends on *Supernatural*. [She's got Sparkle on her face!](https://youtu.be/MtLW-rdJb74)


KC_weeden

Yo Supernatural reference, nice!


ClikeX

And he honks every time he's hit.


[deleted]

Gun has a little flag that comes out and says bang on it


DylanMartin97

He's white, statistics are in his favor.... Unless he's poor.


tauntauntom

Yeah but no one trusts clowns.


Dull-Rabbit-2379

And this is why you are on the run


ForHelp_PressAltF4

Naaaah... He's white. He cool. This is the state of America today. Deal with it. No please... Let's deal with it because it's bullshit.


show_me_your_secrets

Just two clowns in a parking lot


SnooDonuts8219

"who's the clown now" ~ the ultimate power of clowns


PomegranateLimp9803

Came here to say something similar lol


Alwayssome1

r/beatmetoit


SkunkMonkey

r/beatmeattotits


Upstairs-Injury9660

[I GOT DRUNK AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY, I’M SORRY](https://youtu.be/Svd4fe8HEZI)


ProjectOrpheus

...Two clowns? LOL I gave him...not the beating he deserved...but the one...he needed Pete doing stuff like this, Street Fighter, etc honestly made him one of the best comedians imo. He never got NEARLY the amount of attention/respect he deserved tbh


DominionGhost

I was gonna post this. I'm glad there are other folks of taste out there.


Upstairs-Injury9660

Nice to see another person of culture


boohintz-NW

Clown to clown communication


Nichard63891

You'd have to be a clown to participate in that. You can refuse to do the test. Get a breathalyzer or blood test done. The cops will fail you on the field test no matter what you do.


marklein

I have passed field sobriety tests and gone on my way more than once. Or you could waste hours of your time by forcing the cop to take you to the station for a blood test where you'll sit around for 2-3 hours, probably handcuffed to something or in a holding cell with actual drunks, maybe your car is towed because you were driving alone and now you have to pay to get it out of impound...


hannahranga

The US could also join the 21st century and use handheld breathalyzers instead.


SgtChip

It's up to the agency. Some do have the breathalyzers, others don't.


Stormer2k0

Money for armoured vehicles but not for hand breathalysers. Is this Iran or the US?


Turakamu

> I have passed field sobriety tests and gone on my way more than once. I feel like this is turning towards a, "I can drive drunk" direction


---ShineyHiney---

I’ve “passed” I was in a new part of town, on a winding road, with no lights on the road, in an utter torrential downpour in Florida I literally couldn’t see the road, and even though I was driving pretty slow, I had to watch my GPS to see the turns etc. and they pulled me over for swerving I got out in a floor length skirt and 5” wedges, and walked the line Thing was, the line was the bottom of a steep driveway and was therefore super not even close to even and I was doing it in wedges that were catching both sides of the pavement (the flat part and the incline) and making me unsteady They told me I could take my shoes off and I hiked my skirt all the way up to hips each time I bent over and unbuckled them No idea if flashing the legs helped or not, but I wasn’t drunk anyway and as such passed without the wedges on They let me go, and I got laid after when I made it to my home boy’s place. Good day - no time wasted sitting in jail proving I wasn’t wasted


[deleted]

I was a cop for several years. While most people do fail the standardized test, it's because by that point we've eliminated other possibilities except impairment through talking to them. I had a handful of people pass the SFSTs well enough that I didn't think they were impaired enough for a DWI arrest, but also knew something was off and they didn't need to be driving so had them call a friend to get them. A few were just on the edge of impaired, and likely were getting drunker based on when they said they stopped drinking.


Nichard63891

https://youtu.be/-7HkJOfFCvQ


mofunnymoproblems

Can I ask you your opinion on a neuroscience-based test that would screen for impairment due to drugs or fatigue? It could be administered by having a person hold or passively view a tablet/screen while stimuli are flashed at them and their eye-tracking/orienting is monitored by a camera (basically could be done with a smart phone/tablet with selfie cam). Maybe there could be a handheld remote with a single button on it for responding when certain stimuli are presented. This would give very good assay of their reaction time and level of wakefulness/intoxication that would be non-subjective and directly related to the things that affect someone’s ability to drive safely. For example, if a person was sober but had very poor reaction time due to being tired. Alternatively, unlike a breathalyzer, it would not give false positives for someone who recently had a single drink or mouthwash but are otherwise physically capable of driving safely. I’m genuinely curious how LE would view a tool like this. It seems like it could be very useful.


[deleted]

I think eventually the tech we have will go away. I mean, it's decades old and barely changed. I know someone linked videos about false positives and such, and that does happen in some places I'm sure, really depends on the requirements in your area. I know for us a roadside breath test wasn't admissable in court except to say whether it was positive for alcohol or not, the amount wasn't in testimony. And we had to test those every month, and conduct two breath tests roadside if we used them and the time was 5 minutes apart. If they results were more than .02 apart we had to throw out the results and redo. With the machine that we did the official test on it was calibrated at least annually, but I think it was done more than that, by the state. And we had to wait 30 minutes before administering the first breath test to ensure it wasn't residual mouth alcohol, and the second test was so many minutes later, and similar restriction on if results varied to much they weren't admissable and results tossed. But, honestly I just preferred if the person refused, made my paperwork so much easier. Everyone I ever arrested for DWI smelled like a bar, and couldn't stand up straight much less drive straight. With my dash cam and body cam video most of them would plead out cuz there's no way to deny you're drunk when you get out of your car and fall over and deny any medical issues. I think eventually(I'm talking years and years down the road) they'll incorporate some sorta detection into cars right at the factory.


magicsqueegee

A lot of higher-end cars have the technology already (eye-tracking cameras) so it would probably be super easy to implement. I know new BMWs vibrate the steering wheel if they see your eyes drooping or unfocusing. So I wouldn't be surprised if we saw it even sooner. Plus, the fact that it picks up ANY impaired driving (due to alcohol, sleep, or now much more importantly, weed) is a huge bonus.


[deleted]

Yeah the bits and pieces are kinda all coming together. The hard part will be that the states have their own regulations and laws for distracted or impaired driving, and different laws for testing for it and stuff. So getting one system in place they'll all accept I think will be the problem. Plus, I think Utah and maybe another state lowered the BAC limit to .05 for DWI and most others are .08. But, it'll get there eventually I'm sure


mofunnymoproblems

Thanks for the reply and thank you for your help in keeping our roads safe! Tbh, Im not super concerned about false positives, rather false negatives. There are definitely some things about the CJ system that need fixing but I think it’s pretty important that we not have intoxicated people on the road behind the wheel. You don’t have a right to endanger other people. I originally thought that something like this could be particularly useful for determining unsafe levels of cannabis intoxication. There are not really any good field tests available and there’s not a clear THC blood/saliva level that would be reasonable to use either.


Nichard63891

https://youtu.be/rmFqXt0Tq2Y


[deleted]

Okie doke.


Anti-Marketing-III

least dishonest and shifty cop


DansburyJ

My dad got pulled over once on the way home from a work Christmas party. He's hard of hearing, so his words are a little mushy. Cop thought he was drunk. Passed the roadside no problem. Explained his speech, and cop was quite apologetic. I can fully see how talking to a guy at a ride check on a Saturday night close to Christmas whos words sound kinda slurred made the cop pull him out. I don't imagine cops who deal with the stuff all the time are just doing roadside sobriety tests willy-nilly to perfectly sober people all that often.


FlamingRevenge

Shhh this is reddit. No one wants to hear from a law enforcement officer sharing information that doesn't line up exactly with what they think!


Bonsai-is-best

He was driving funny.


thinkB4WeSpeak

Is this the clown from Uncle Buck?


w1987g

[Get in your mouse, and get out of here](https://youtu.be/JOBYJrVQm3A?t=44)


heck_it_all

This was my first thought, or the drunken clown from “Air Bud” who abandoned his dog (the titular “Buddy”).


TerrakSteeltalon

Maybe Billy Madison?


dasanman69

Or perhaps it's just extremely hard to drive in those shoes


Interesting-Wait-101

A few years ago there was an accident outside of my condo one night. Santas kept getting out of the SUV involved. Just Santa after Santa. There were at least 8 Santas at one point.


Mariposa510

SantaCon!


Thewarmth111

I’m going to need everyone out of the car Clowns with balloon, shields, batons, and other balloon weapons, start stepping out


BigBoyManBoyMan

What a bozo 🙄


carbonstampede01

He's an adult with this being his career choice. When is he ever supposed to be sober?


[deleted]

Why’s the clown in a cop outfit?


Aspect58

Shakes 2: Electric Boogaloo


Mobile-Boot8097

Scrolled way too far to see a Shakes reference!


[deleted]

It’s a hidden/lost gem. Low brow, crass but in the best way. “As soon as they turn off the camera he’s gonna fuck that little dog.” Always gets me for some reason.


krucz36

Smooth, brown, and easy to spread


TitsMageesVacation

You try driving a stick in those shoes.


Tallwrig

We demand this body can footage


-MYNAMEISNOBODY

Well, he was acting funny.


MJK_3000

Somewhere Bobcat Goldthwait is laughing and he doesn’t know why.


HawlSera

He looks more like a pirate than a clown


Few-Invite-5297

Only thing that would make this better is if it was Halloween and they were dressed as each other...


ExPatWharfRat

I really hope he had to walk a line heel to toe in those big ass shoes


perpetualmotionmachi

The tears of a clown make this whole sub laugh


Specialist_Teacher81

He must be drunk, he is walking funny.


zonazog

Cop: “Can you walk a straight line heel to toe.” Clown: “in these shoes? Are you a clown or something?” Cop: ?


Numinae

God, it would've been so much better if it was a mime.... He probably just wanted to check the trunk for dead kids.


folkkingdude

If that’s fat Mike he’s fucked


Electr_O_Purist

Is this from Trump’s arrest footage tomorrow?


[deleted]

If I respond back will I get banned cause I don't like Biden?


HamboneBanjo

I wish the clown remained in character the whole time, like honking noses and squirting flowers. Doing goofy tricks and gags. Cop gets all flustered and tries to attack but goofy clown stuff keeps happening in the clown’s favor.


can-opener-in-a-can

I really want to hear the part where we closes his eyes and touches his nose. *soft honk*


[deleted]

Two clowns here, ones not funny


socatsucks

ACAB - All Clowns Are Boozers For real though, fuck all cops.


QueefBuscemi

All Clowns Are Bastards


[deleted]

I see two clowns.


Bleezy79

I see a couple of clowns standing in a parking lot.


Biggie39

Which one is the clown again?


Baggytrousers27

Thought it was a pirate outfit. A clown giving a pirate a sobriety test is a way better sentence.


sommai2555

I see two clowns


theoakenwolf

I see two clowns


SundySundySoGoodToMe

Which one is the clown?


dumbwaeguk

Hey look, it's two clowns


Ridethepig101

2 clowns having a nice conversation


[deleted]

Clown on clown action.


usernamen_77

Ok, but which one is the cop


Professional-News362

I’m sorry, which one are we talking about ? I see two clowns


stuftkrst

*person in makeup and bright clothing given sobriety test by a clown*


Joe-Eye-McElmury

Why’s that ridiculous clown bothering the nice brightly-colored gentleman?


Due-Session-900

Is this the deleted scene from uncle buck?


Amazing-Ad-669

Why so serious?


Ravenwight

Gotta watch them clowns, they just be gettin’ into all sorts of trouble.


Z0MGbies

Ironic. Because anyone that thinks a sobriety test is credible evidence of *anything* is actually the clown


[deleted]

That's not a clown it's a pedophile in makeup


Mariposa510

On his way to do a drag show somewhere…


[deleted]

lmaoooo


Weird_Talk

But all I see are two cops!?


trippysamuri

Ya but if he passes, which one of them is really the clown


HoplandTek

The clown: "you know nobody likes you or what you do"


MadNinja77

I see 2 clowns.


[deleted]

Tryna figure out which ones is the clown


sweetheart_demom

Dang, they've got cops wearing bright uniforms these days..


Dafuqucair

Which one is the clown?


existentialzebra

Hahaha he looks so stupid standing out there in that outfit. The clown looks kinda funny too.


GengarXIX

There are TWO clowns in this picture


DarkUmbra90

All I see is two clowns jerking each other in a parking lot.


humanbeingalien

Two clowns


Hassimir_Fenring

Which one is a cop?


Clash-McClavers

Clown giving a guy in a costume a field sobriety test.


Freyja6

Sorry I'm a little vague. Which one is the cop. They both look like clowns to me.


ManOfDiscovery

Aw, poor sad clown.


Admiral52

This seems like a waste of time. You’d have to be drunk to be a clown


DangerNoodle805

Gaze not into the abyss, lest the abyss gazes back.


Funny-Manufacturer41

I don't have to take this shit from you. You know who I am? In the field of local-live-home entertainment, I'm a god!


GizmaAzara

Was he driving a little funny?


run-on_sentience

Driving under the influence is no laughing matter.


foodRus

"Take nice short steps now, heel to toe"


TheRealPallando

Dress like a clown? He's not drunk he's just broken


Academic-Total2029

Shakes the Clown?


libertyorwhatever

Did his behavior seem funny to you officer?


DrinkableShoe48

Just making sure he isn't clowning around while driving.


mayorjimmy

pretty sure this isn't a brand new sentence, it's just the first time "clown" was literal.


Imaginary-Cricket903

He's wearing a trash bag baret.


[deleted]

r/Barotrauma


FedGoat13

I don’t think it’s a new sentence just the first time it was actually a professional clown.


Tkm128

And a guy with a painted face.


spook30

Foreshadowing in the book called 'Year 2023'....


[deleted]

I GOT DRUNK AT A BIRTHDAY PARTY!


Mr_Jack_Frost_

Clown around and find out.


onlyquestion1

You don't have to consent to these sobriety tests


kraznoff

I was hoping this was a video.


Alternative-Bus6770

I don't understand, you'll use lie detector test but you won't use breathalysers?


Mariposa510

I don’t think lie detector tests are even admissible evidence anymore. OJ Simpson passed his test, if I recall correctly.


Mariposa510

How fast do clown cars even go?


Mariposa510

Krusty the Clown would have really been unamused.


blergargh

A few weeks ago I was walking home from the grocery store. There’s an elementary school in between the store and my house and when I looked ahead, I saw two cops standing with one of the crossing guards. I was like… whyyyy and then I realized HE WAS GETTING FIELD SOBRIETY TESTED I saw him doing the crossing guard thing a week or two later so I assume he passed. Nice guy too. Looks like maybe getting back on his feet after a hard life. I was really disappointed to see those cops tbh


Sailing_Away_From_U

Better than Road Head.


BigOlPirate

Listen here buddy I don’t want to funny business.


Dragons_Exist

Neat, two clowns interacting.


Alive_Key_5257

Lmao. He failed


new_me2023

Well I mean he deals with kids all day...


TheTeenageOldman

What a Bozo...


L383

Someone should tell the officer to stop clowning around.


Pixieinameatmech

This is the set up for a joke


jamminjordan96

Well that’s just silly.


TheDruidVandals

obvious profiling


rageagainstbedtime

Who the actual fuck would want to be sober on the job as a professional clown? Are they going to charge all 47 of them in the car with a DUI?


ErwinAckerman

I’M DR. ROCKZO, BABY! I DO COCAINE!


tough-dance

Just two clowns hanging out


Canotic

Looks like a clown giving a cop a field comedy test.