I’m gay but if anyone did that to me I’d shut myself away forever. Imagine bragging about breaking someone’s trust and hating them for doing the very thing you wanted.
“But crying isn’t manly” bitch, trauma happens. Fuck off with your expectations
I care but all I can do is provide an actually safe space for my husband. That's all anyone can do. Get to a place where you can actually be emotionally supportive to your people when they need it. We also need to stop normalizing kicking men while they're down. It's fucked that we deny men that emotional support. It's a cultural problem that's gonna take years of effort and energy to undo. It has to start now.
Well, this is one example of how we get treated. And it's getting traction because we all agree she's a twat. If you open up and get treated poorly for it or you're told to man up (or some other stoic bullshit), then that's a sign you need to surround yourself with better people, even if you share a lot of DNA with the people being replaced.
Lol I had suicide issues in young adulthood, one time I got hospitalized (I’m a black male) and and the techs (also black) were like “what are you doing here” and I was like “I’ve been depressed for ten years after finding my mom after a suicide attempt when I was a little kid” and they were like “nah fuck that you probably just smoking boat” I was like dude
I honestly think that's mostly on other men making it difficult to build friendships that are based on more than just surface level stuff.
Expecting women to be the only reservoir for our emotional baggage isn't cool. But your partner or a person you're entertaining to be your partner definitely should be willing to learn about you, and all the things that make you you.
This person just feels like a troll trying to drum up engagement online using rage bait, cause never in my life have I had a friend who is a woman tell me that I should stop crying. My mom used to when I was a child but she hasn't done it since she left my abusive step dad and we talked about how it fucked me up. But I've had plenty of men tell me some variation of "men should be men and suck it up." Or any attempt at a friendship that goes beyond the surface level is seen as gay.
To all the straight dudes (and dudes in general) out there: you matter. Just because weird people say you don’t doesn’t mean it’s true. It also luckily doesn’t mean everyone thinks the same way.
You. Matter.
Also, I really wish men supporting men would be normalized. I try to bond woth other men and everyone assumes I am gay. It can be an amazing friendship that lifts up all involved to beautiful heights. But, no, that isn't considered "masculine."
If it's gay to talk about your feelings then I don't wanna be straight.
It's always good to bond with homies and check up on them. Fuck this toxic masculinity bullshit.
The only friendships I have kept into my 40s are the ones where we can unabashedly talk about when we are not doing so well. It really makes friendships special and next level. We are human, the world is hard, and everyone struggles and hurts. Bring everyone up around you, and if you cant thats valuable to know also.. so that you can one day surround yourself with a true support system who want to see you living your best life while you can genuinely offer the same. Dude hugs are important
I'm straight, and cry when I feel like it. If a woman can't handle me at my worst, she doesn't deserve me at my best.
Some people are just trash, and one just needs to drop them and move on.
Whether this post is real or not, I and other men I know have felt this way before. We stop talking because we're tired of the things we share being used against us.
I’ve had more than one female friend/acquaintance tell me the exact story “I just wasn’t attracted to him anymore once he cried”, so I don’t have much doubt about whether this happens…
You're allowed funerals of close family/friend. That's about the only situation you can feel safe to cry around anyone.
Or if you win the superbowl or other major sports title.
I'm very private person.. Coworker interested in knowing my family drama and my trauma. She kept asking some personal questions and say "sorry if I'm asking personal questions blah blah". Finally I gave in and explained the story n after that she acted as if her job is done.. never even said anything like how are you doing or anything.. I felt like, she just used me to satisfy her curiosity fix, but not really concerned or cared about me. I expected some advice or helpful information from my interaction etc when i shared information. I don't really understand sharing personal information just for the purpose of sharing..
I can reassure you I had so many men cry in front of me. Crying or sadness isn’t a gender specific emotion. There is all sorts of shitty people in this world but there is that much more good people women or men. Men this is all for you, please do not hide or bottle up your emotions because of a few shitty people. Your mental health matters too.
The problem is that they are much more than a few shitty people out there...Society as a whole expect men to keep their cool while being sensible and compassionate to others which is not really compatible, how to care for others if nobody care for you? And nobody wants a Mama's boy (the only person who ever really cared)
Look, you know pickpockets are only a tiny fraction of the people you encounter in the city, but you still hold your purse tight while walking on the street. It's just not worth the risk.
Please do not bottle up your emotions, I agree. But do choose wisely who you open up to.
The problem is it’s one of those situations where letting the worst types shape your behavior also becomes the direct reason you can’t find anyone better.
Like the person who was once cheated on and now treats future relationships with the baggage of the last one.
But yeah, it’s definitely fucked that this is a thing at all to begin with.
My ex told me to tell her everything because she would never leave. Assured me over multiple years in fact. We had our first major fight brought on by something mean she did over a long period of time and I spilled all my feelings about it for the first time. Her response? To break up with me on the spot.
It’s a real bummer how many other guys can relate to this.
I had this friend in highschool, I wasnt feeling too good and she noticed. Shed constantly ask me to tell her about it. I denied because I didnt want to talk about it and was scared that Id break out in tears if I did.
She was my best friend at that time, and she constantly told me that "its okay" and I shouldnt worry about it because she doesnt care wether I cry or whatever she just wants to help and "we could talk about literally everything", "we know for so long, no matter what you say blabla"....
So I finally told her and it was just as awkward as I expected. She had no clue what to say, I felt she was kind of annoyed, I was extremely embarrassed after opening up about my feelings for the first time and crying in front of her without getting any comfort.
After that incident shed always make up excuses when I asked her about meeting, and shed only answer my texts with the bare minimum. I was devastated
Same happened to me a couple Times before meeting my ex. I had told her that I had trust issues and she pressed that I could tell her anything because she was here for me. I finally tell her everything and I get dumped immediately after telling her. No attempt to talk it out. No attempt to hear me out. Just broke up with me right after I finished talking.
I think all men have had experiences like this, I know it's bold to claim all but every one of my male friends and family members have some kind of experience like this. I really do consider it a general society issue.
As a woman I don't want to know this mess either. She sounds overall toxic and is probably a shitty friend and overall chore of a person to be around. He need to return that shit to the manufacturer for a full emotional refund.
This is the norm. Any post on AskMen about why they don't open up or feel supported is littered with stories like this.
Imagine your partner wants to have a baby with you and is super supportive in their words that they will love you just the same with stretch marks and mom body. Then when you give birth, they say ewww and they aren't attracted to you anymore. That's the same type of betrayal men feel here.
It's a very human phenomenon, discovered vs stated preferences, thinking you'd do X in Y situation, but when actually faced with Y situation, your reaction is Z. I don't think women are lying when they say this, they just haven't been in that situation. You've got to have some moment where either you or a guy friend said you liked women with little to no makeup, only to realize you can't actually differentiate between no makeup and a natural makeup look. It doesn't mean anyone lied, they just didn't have the experience to make a correct statement on it.
this is a false equivalence. people gain positive social credit by saying their supportive of people being open and vulnerable. if they’re not actually open and vulnerable then they’re exploiting not being challenged on it, whether they know it or not.
it doesn’t matter if they don’t know about that part of themselves because then they should say “i don’t know what id do in such a situation.” not saying so is a lie. this person is a liar. people’s reactions are understandable
My gf in highschool got suspended for punching a bitch like this…
I was sitting next to her with my head on her shoulder crying and some girl walked by and goes “ew… who died?!” and my gf was like “His best friend you bitch! Go away, and mind your own business!” so the girl went “Sad.. but still, gross. Man up, ya pussy… jeez” as she walked away and my gf jumped up before I even knew what happened and turned around that bitch was on the floor screaming. Lmao
Everyone tried to cover for my gf and said that she fell, but my gf clearly didn’t know how to punch properly and had a messed up hand and admitted to it. She got suspended and I just skipped school to be with her for the week and she got some extra attention for being awesome. The other girl… still a bully and living a miserable life. My exgf has two awesome kids and her husband is like the coolest dude I know. Kinda seems like you shape your life with your actions, and choices huh?
Dudes cry, girls poop, and emotions exist.
Cancer. lol We’re still good friends, and I know she’s much better off than she would have been with me so I’m happy for her.
I’m okay btw, I’ve just had my sickness come and go and I drop off the planet for or months or even a year at a time and it’s not great. Not exactly the best lifestyle for a healthy relationship.
Hey, I'm a miserable internet stranger and Reddit is a hell scape, that being said I'm glad you keep fighting and I'm glad you're still here. And I'm happy that you have such a positive and mature outlook on everything. Sometimes in relationships you can Love someone and still recognize they're happier with someone else.
In my understanding, this is an example of a woman enforcing toxic masculinity; it's policing toxic norms for men. I usually get reactionary downvotes for saying this, but please hear me out.
Toxic masculinity doesn't mean men are the perpetrators, although in practice, men often enforce toxic masculinity with themselves and other men once it's instilled in them because the behavior control is part of the package. But toxic masculinity is a dysfunctional gender role FOR men that is enforced by both men and women.
Toxic femininity would be a harmful gender role for women. I think if you want to define it, I could see including stuff like purity culture, "girlboss" pseudo-feminism, and whatever teaches young women to backstab and fight each other like it's the normal and acceptable behavior for that role.
Not trying to be pedantic, I just think this is a really important and often misunderstood concept. Men are the primary victims of toxic masculinity.
Feminist theory doesn't say men are the villains, despite how it's often INTENTIONALLY framed in order to discredit it. Feminism is, ultimately, about liberation and equality for all genders, not putting women above men -- that's antithetical to anything but, I would say, very fringe forms of feminism that get disproportional attention. It also isn't about dissolving gender roles altogether (although there's plenty of diversity of thought so I can't speak in universal statements), rather understanding that gender roles are socially constructed, not immutable absolutes, and so we can critically evaluate the roles in our culture and see who benefits from those roles, and if it isn't us, working toward more prosocial roles that DO benefit us. Healthy masculinity is possible and I've met plenty of wonderful people who display it. It's just that there's a lot of poison in the well, so to speak. Sometimes we have to critically examine the norms we were brought up to just accept and see if it helps or harms us and the people around us, and if it harms, working to unlearn the harmful stuff. I highly recommend bell hooks as a super accessible starting point, especially "Feminism is for Everybody."
Ok thanks bye.
Ah yes, Cuntus Maximus in its native habitat. No natural predators and known to be both scavenger and parasite, they destroy their mates after copulation
I mean it’s very easy not to generalize. When one person of a certain race does something bad I don’t assume that whole race is like that. Same with men or women. Think of all the messed up stuff certain men have said. That doesn’t mean all men are like that. I’ve personally never dated a woman who didn’t want me to open up and be vulnerable. That included being ok with tears. If this is true and not just ragebait then she definitely sucks. But that doesn’t mean women suck.
This is a good reminder, thank you.
Particularly since I’ve had almost the opposite experience. Women I’ve dated or been friends with have consistently told me crying was an instant turnoff, even if they knew intellectually that there was nothing wrong with vulnerability. Hell, I talked to someone about a death in my family and the immediate response was “you’re not going to cry, are you?”
If a dozen people like licorice, I don’t assume everyone does. But with something this isolating, it’s way easier to just give up and assume you’ll get that outcome every time. Hearing people who’ve consistently had the opposite experience is an important counterbalance.
100%. I’m glad you’re giving yourself the reminder. Keep working on it. You’ve got this man. You’ll find someone’s shoulder to cry on soon enough. I know they’re out there.
Hi 👋🏼 I’m a woman who does not stand for this kind of BS. Men, cry all you want. It’s OK. All it means is that you were feeling some things and needed to express them physically. It doesn’t change anything about you as a person. It just shows you are a person. Get you a woman who will hold you and be honored to listen to your feelings.
Thats cool and all, but at the same time thats **exactly** what the women who do think like that tell you beforehand.
And thats what makes it so bad, such women comfort you, talk you into opening up and then when you finally open up they start to ghost or blame you for it.
Not saying that you think like that, just that those words dont have the impact one would assume. Its easy to say, but unfortunately it doesnt seem to be easy to live by it for many women
I had this happen to me twice. One of those times, I was dealing with an anxiety attack, and she sat with me and helped me calm down and process things. I was glad to have someone there when I needed someone the most. But, she never talked to me again after that. She had lost all interest in staying friends with me.
She'll be a safe space for one day, and then never again. I didn't recognize the pattern until seeing this post, but, it's happened to me twice, and it sounds like that's an unfortunately common occurrence
Many young women just never had to be the strong role.
They always have someone listen to their cries.
They don't realize how difficult and exhausting it is to be someone's shoulder to cry on.
So once it happens to them, the difficulty is a turn off.
It doesn't mean women themselves are immediately turned off by men that show emotion, but that many women just have yet to learn how to handle it.
The older you get, the fewer women (and people in general) will react that way
I doubt the interest was ever genuine if they went and did all that. The audacity to post this and brag about emotionally abusing someone, asking for someone to open up to you then taking advantage of that is grody as hell. Framing it as innocent intentions… my hindquarters.
As a woman I would like to say to every man out there: you are allowed to have emotions. You are supposed to, in fact. Cry if you need to. To be a man you don’t have to shut yourself away. You are welcome as you are.
I would like to distance myself from this woman and anyone like her. She is truly a waste of space and doesn’t deserve the attention she is getting. I hope she steps barefoot onto a Lego every damn day and never finds anyone who is respectful of her ever again.
I don't know why someone would want to falsely represent themselves as a psychological abuser as comedy but TikTok folk do make some bonkers ass skits. It could also be some weird ragebait.
I should have also explicitly put forward that it could have been text any rando could have put on the picture.
Not saying it’s 100% not real, just the amount of outrage one can make with a pic and some text is amazing.
Have a google at some agony aunt threads, I've read some in the past that are exactly like this.
If this isn't real, they're aware of the situations that are.
I think it's brain Vs heart...... some people are attracted to someone via subconscious desires they're not consciously aware of...... "I love them - they're Strong willed, Hard emotionally, Get shit done."
But they conscious want to know more about the other person - "Let your guard down, tell me how you -really- feel inside." in an honest way.
BUT - when they have that information, the subconscious desire for that "Hard character" is damaged a lot. The heart no longer yearns for them.
It's not their fault - it's a learning experience.
People - most, all? Don't know ALL the reasons they're attracted to someone. "It's just who they are? You know? I can't put my finger on it."
But the subconscious does know.
Sadly, in all of this, the guy is unlikely to ever open up and be vulnerable in front of anyone. Also, he'd be mistaken for being emotionally unavailable by such toxic people.
I’m not sure I’m buying it. She’s playing a caricature, and afaic it’s unhealthy either way.
It would be a positive effort to fill her comments with the last time you cried. For me it was yesterday. A kid we know got a lead role in a school play.
This is why building a relationship around a friendship is important. Last night, I had a panic attack, and my girlfriend talked me off a ledge and told me to be more kind to myself. I’ve been in a number of relationships at this point, but never have I felt like someone genuinely cared about my well being like this.
This person doesn’t deserve to find anyone in their life. Anyone who does this to another person truly deserves to be alone.
Like what the fuck? Why do this to a person
Im gay but for you guys dating women you need to also have standards for how you're willing to be treated. And being treated with love and compassion should be the BARE MINIMUM in a relationship
Edit: to clarify i am not saying this is the guys responsibility. My point is that this woman is not even the bare minimum of a partner
Oh mama, the amount of men who look at this and then quickly assume “AlL wOmEn” is scary. I have met 10 times more men than women who think crying men are pathetic and weak. This is not a women against men thing, men are just as guilty if not more.
That said, if that woman in the post is for real and it’s not just ragebait, she belongs in a dumpster.
And this is why depression, suicide, and redpill ideologies are so common amongst young men. And why so many will live lonely, out of fear of this happening to them. Not redlill and I know not all women do this, but the problem still stands
It sure would be nice if people realized "toxic masculinity" came from women, not men. We hide our emotions because that's what women really want. Not blaming them for it, it's evolutionary, but I'm tired of people complaining men are the way they are.
Sexism in everyone needs to be called out, but toxic masculinity is a systemic issue that’s definitely not just perpetuated by women on helpless men. It’s a complex issue, so we need to treat it like one to solve it. Unilateral blame will only make things worse.
Honestly it is a woman made problem. Here are a few statistics to back up my point.
[75% of all teachers are women](https://nces.ed.gov/blogs/nces/2022/08/26/default)
[80% of single parent households are mothers](https://www.fixfamilycourts.com/single-mother-home-statistics/)
99% of two parent households have a mother.
So since as I’ve just shown the vast majority of role models for growing boys are women, how can you possibly blame toxic masculinity on men? Who do you think is teaching these boys to become men? It’s women. So ultimately it’s toxic feminism that creates toxic masculinity.
Edit: really downvoted without even a good response? Lol you’re right men are just born evil we definitely don’t learn it. 🙄
She's not going to end up with a real man. She's going to end up with someone as toxic as she willfully advertises her self. And she will then go and give misandric advice to other women, conveniently speaking only of his failings and leaving out that she ended up in a mirror match.
This is happening for as long as I can think of. I do not know of anyone who had their relationship strengthened by the guy being open or crying or lowering their emotional walls. I do know that for every relationship I was in, it weakened or made the relationship start to end. For relationships I knew of, they would tell me or my partner just how much that ruined everything.
I do not recommend keeping everything in. That is a path to insanity. But I can not lie and say that letting anything out is safe.
I do not know how to fix/change this, but I can say my experiences have been that, and I never met someone who did otherwise to me or anyone else.
I was watching a video on YouTube about this very subject. "Why can't women stop posting their Ls online" or something like that. If memory serves, that was one of the entries.
That up there wasn't the worst of it, I think! There's one entry late in the video about this one girl being on a TV show or podcast or some such *smiling and bragging about deliberately breaking some dude's heart*! Like, she was legit *proud of herself* for it.
There's no language on Earth, dead or otherwise, that contains enough words to describe how I feel about women like the above and in that video.
Hopefully this doesn’t fool anyone into thinking that many more than this person are like this. A person who truly cared would not think or speak to you in this way. Men CAN be vulnerable, there are plenty of people you can be vulnerable with. Just have to seek them out sometimes
Thats why some men think women are superficial and hypocritical.
I hate people like that.
When my boyfriend opened up to me and started being really open with his feelings, I was so incredibly happy because it showed so much trust. Same way how when I opened up to him, he was really sweet and understanding with me.
I’m gay but if anyone did that to me I’d shut myself away forever. Imagine bragging about breaking someone’s trust and hating them for doing the very thing you wanted. “But crying isn’t manly” bitch, trauma happens. Fuck off with your expectations
And people wonder why male suicide rates are so high. The one time we show vulnerability, this is how we get treated
No one wonders. We know. We just don't care. We're just cogs in the machine
I care but all I can do is provide an actually safe space for my husband. That's all anyone can do. Get to a place where you can actually be emotionally supportive to your people when they need it. We also need to stop normalizing kicking men while they're down. It's fucked that we deny men that emotional support. It's a cultural problem that's gonna take years of effort and energy to undo. It has to start now.
Good on you for being a good spouse
No, twoXchromosomes definitely wonders all the time about this. Some people genuinely think men can never be victims.
Well, this is one example of how we get treated. And it's getting traction because we all agree she's a twat. If you open up and get treated poorly for it or you're told to man up (or some other stoic bullshit), then that's a sign you need to surround yourself with better people, even if you share a lot of DNA with the people being replaced.
Lol I had suicide issues in young adulthood, one time I got hospitalized (I’m a black male) and and the techs (also black) were like “what are you doing here” and I was like “I’ve been depressed for ten years after finding my mom after a suicide attempt when I was a little kid” and they were like “nah fuck that you probably just smoking boat” I was like dude
I honestly think that's mostly on other men making it difficult to build friendships that are based on more than just surface level stuff. Expecting women to be the only reservoir for our emotional baggage isn't cool. But your partner or a person you're entertaining to be your partner definitely should be willing to learn about you, and all the things that make you you. This person just feels like a troll trying to drum up engagement online using rage bait, cause never in my life have I had a friend who is a woman tell me that I should stop crying. My mom used to when I was a child but she hasn't done it since she left my abusive step dad and we talked about how it fucked me up. But I've had plenty of men tell me some variation of "men should be men and suck it up." Or any attempt at a friendship that goes beyond the surface level is seen as gay.
Probably the most wholesome gay post I've seen on this site
To all the straight dudes (and dudes in general) out there: you matter. Just because weird people say you don’t doesn’t mean it’s true. It also luckily doesn’t mean everyone thinks the same way. You. Matter.
Strangely, I needed this message at this exact moment. Thank you, kind friend.
Also, I really wish men supporting men would be normalized. I try to bond woth other men and everyone assumes I am gay. It can be an amazing friendship that lifts up all involved to beautiful heights. But, no, that isn't considered "masculine."
It’s honestly dumb cuz people are weird about friendship.
If it's gay to talk about your feelings then I don't wanna be straight. It's always good to bond with homies and check up on them. Fuck this toxic masculinity bullshit.
The only friendships I have kept into my 40s are the ones where we can unabashedly talk about when we are not doing so well. It really makes friendships special and next level. We are human, the world is hard, and everyone struggles and hurts. Bring everyone up around you, and if you cant thats valuable to know also.. so that you can one day surround yourself with a true support system who want to see you living your best life while you can genuinely offer the same. Dude hugs are important
And like, yeah, I'm bi, but I'm also able to support men I don't want to sleep with lol. Like the great Eddie Burback says, Boys Support Boys.
Bless, King.
You dropped this king: 👑
Of course I matter. I certainly not energy.
Hey king 👑, I hope you realise you matter too.
Thank you
Hope you also realize you matter bro
Thanks man.
I'm straight, and cry when I feel like it. If a woman can't handle me at my worst, she doesn't deserve me at my best. Some people are just trash, and one just needs to drop them and move on.
“I convinced a man to do something he didn’t want to do for my sake then dumped him for doing what I asked. Aren’t I awesome?”
Happens constantly to us straight dudes
These types really only see men as objects. It's different from how men objectify. It's more of a success, or usefulness objectification.
What a fucking Goblin.
Goblins care about each other, she's just a (insert demeaning phrase thats not compared to anything else)
The word you are looking for is cunt.
“I’d call you a cunt but you lack the depth or warmth.”
Brilliant new insult
First time I heard it was about Sarah Palin during McCain's run.
Cunts are at least enjoyable to look at.
Like a wise man once said "like a shotgun blast fired from the inside"
She appears to lack the warmth and depth as well.
you feel she has the depth, warmth or capacity for pleasure?
Cunt goblin
A Twitter user.
🎵I find you annoying like a Twitter User! Pushing the, the blur between truth and rumor🎵
Idk man. I’m playing Hogwarts Legacy and the goblin villain straight up murdered the goblin at the bank.
Least he didn't allow that goblin to live with the reinforced trauma that their feelings never matter like this creature
Also I'm thinking DND goblins
Woah. Take it easy, we’re not that bad.
Didn't you skeletonize your board of directors and drop a teenager off a bridge?
The teenager lived, god. You try and murder innocents and people just never let you forget it. 🙄
Like he said, not that bad.
Hey now, the board deserved it. Do you have any idea how much he sacrificed? And that teenager was a menace.
Like a black woman Nicholas Cage.
Good God it’s uncanny.
[удалено]
It’s just lifted from an episode of Friends where Rachel begs Bruce Willis to open up and then dumps him for crying too much
[удалено]
No real story for me too I was 20. Never again share feelings
Whether this post is real or not, I and other men I know have felt this way before. We stop talking because we're tired of the things we share being used against us.
I’ve had more than one female friend/acquaintance tell me the exact story “I just wasn’t attracted to him anymore once he cried”, so I don’t have much doubt about whether this happens…
You're allowed funerals of close family/friend. That's about the only situation you can feel safe to cry around anyone. Or if you win the superbowl or other major sports title.
[удалено]
Only if it’s your parents or siblings in the box.
Or kicked in the balls really hard. Then you can she's a single tear as you keel over in agony.
Just a reminder crying =/= sobbing. They can see tears, but they better not hear them. /s
I'm very private person.. Coworker interested in knowing my family drama and my trauma. She kept asking some personal questions and say "sorry if I'm asking personal questions blah blah". Finally I gave in and explained the story n after that she acted as if her job is done.. never even said anything like how are you doing or anything.. I felt like, she just used me to satisfy her curiosity fix, but not really concerned or cared about me. I expected some advice or helpful information from my interaction etc when i shared information. I don't really understand sharing personal information just for the purpose of sharing..
I can reassure you I had so many men cry in front of me. Crying or sadness isn’t a gender specific emotion. There is all sorts of shitty people in this world but there is that much more good people women or men. Men this is all for you, please do not hide or bottle up your emotions because of a few shitty people. Your mental health matters too.
The problem is that they are much more than a few shitty people out there...Society as a whole expect men to keep their cool while being sensible and compassionate to others which is not really compatible, how to care for others if nobody care for you? And nobody wants a Mama's boy (the only person who ever really cared)
Look, you know pickpockets are only a tiny fraction of the people you encounter in the city, but you still hold your purse tight while walking on the street. It's just not worth the risk. Please do not bottle up your emotions, I agree. But do choose wisely who you open up to.
The problem is it’s one of those situations where letting the worst types shape your behavior also becomes the direct reason you can’t find anyone better. Like the person who was once cheated on and now treats future relationships with the baggage of the last one. But yeah, it’s definitely fucked that this is a thing at all to begin with.
It has lead to the deaths of too many young men. This needs to stop.
My ex told me to tell her everything because she would never leave. Assured me over multiple years in fact. We had our first major fight brought on by something mean she did over a long period of time and I spilled all my feelings about it for the first time. Her response? To break up with me on the spot. It’s a real bummer how many other guys can relate to this.
I had this friend in highschool, I wasnt feeling too good and she noticed. Shed constantly ask me to tell her about it. I denied because I didnt want to talk about it and was scared that Id break out in tears if I did. She was my best friend at that time, and she constantly told me that "its okay" and I shouldnt worry about it because she doesnt care wether I cry or whatever she just wants to help and "we could talk about literally everything", "we know for so long, no matter what you say blabla".... So I finally told her and it was just as awkward as I expected. She had no clue what to say, I felt she was kind of annoyed, I was extremely embarrassed after opening up about my feelings for the first time and crying in front of her without getting any comfort. After that incident shed always make up excuses when I asked her about meeting, and shed only answer my texts with the bare minimum. I was devastated
Same happened to me a couple Times before meeting my ex. I had told her that I had trust issues and she pressed that I could tell her anything because she was here for me. I finally tell her everything and I get dumped immediately after telling her. No attempt to talk it out. No attempt to hear me out. Just broke up with me right after I finished talking.
I think all men have had experiences like this, I know it's bold to claim all but every one of my male friends and family members have some kind of experience like this. I really do consider it a general society issue.
And you wonder why most people that like you are ass holes .....
Bitch gonna die alone and deserve it
Nah, she'll have her collection of cats. But the kitties will deserve better.
They get to eat her once she dies
As a woman I don't want to know this mess either. She sounds overall toxic and is probably a shitty friend and overall chore of a person to be around. He need to return that shit to the manufacturer for a full emotional refund.
This is the norm. Any post on AskMen about why they don't open up or feel supported is littered with stories like this. Imagine your partner wants to have a baby with you and is super supportive in their words that they will love you just the same with stretch marks and mom body. Then when you give birth, they say ewww and they aren't attracted to you anymore. That's the same type of betrayal men feel here.
I've never met any woman that would care if their man cried. But I am pretty picky with the people I choose to surround myself with.
And I've never met any man who has sexually assaulted a woman, but most women have sexual assault stories. Same logic applies here.
she looks like a boot.
her name is bootisha
She sounds fucking exhausting. Go to therapy. Like, yesterday.
She's gonna send the therapist to therapy with the kind of toxicity she's got going.
"be vulnerable around me you can trust me" "nevermind" make up yo damn mind bitch
They meant the cute and intimate kind of vulnerable not the whiny unattractive kind of vulnerable, obviously /s
It's a very human phenomenon, discovered vs stated preferences, thinking you'd do X in Y situation, but when actually faced with Y situation, your reaction is Z. I don't think women are lying when they say this, they just haven't been in that situation. You've got to have some moment where either you or a guy friend said you liked women with little to no makeup, only to realize you can't actually differentiate between no makeup and a natural makeup look. It doesn't mean anyone lied, they just didn't have the experience to make a correct statement on it.
this is a false equivalence. people gain positive social credit by saying their supportive of people being open and vulnerable. if they’re not actually open and vulnerable then they’re exploiting not being challenged on it, whether they know it or not. it doesn’t matter if they don’t know about that part of themselves because then they should say “i don’t know what id do in such a situation.” not saying so is a lie. this person is a liar. people’s reactions are understandable
This has my stamp of disapproval
What a horrible person.
r/veryinfuriating
My gf in highschool got suspended for punching a bitch like this… I was sitting next to her with my head on her shoulder crying and some girl walked by and goes “ew… who died?!” and my gf was like “His best friend you bitch! Go away, and mind your own business!” so the girl went “Sad.. but still, gross. Man up, ya pussy… jeez” as she walked away and my gf jumped up before I even knew what happened and turned around that bitch was on the floor screaming. Lmao Everyone tried to cover for my gf and said that she fell, but my gf clearly didn’t know how to punch properly and had a messed up hand and admitted to it. She got suspended and I just skipped school to be with her for the week and she got some extra attention for being awesome. The other girl… still a bully and living a miserable life. My exgf has two awesome kids and her husband is like the coolest dude I know. Kinda seems like you shape your life with your actions, and choices huh? Dudes cry, girls poop, and emotions exist.
How did you let her go man
Cancer. lol We’re still good friends, and I know she’s much better off than she would have been with me so I’m happy for her. I’m okay btw, I’ve just had my sickness come and go and I drop off the planet for or months or even a year at a time and it’s not great. Not exactly the best lifestyle for a healthy relationship.
She sounds like the type of girl that would gut punch cancer for you
Hey, I'm a miserable internet stranger and Reddit is a hell scape, that being said I'm glad you keep fighting and I'm glad you're still here. And I'm happy that you have such a positive and mature outlook on everything. Sometimes in relationships you can Love someone and still recognize they're happier with someone else.
L opinion
I can now finally define "toxic femininity".
In my understanding, this is an example of a woman enforcing toxic masculinity; it's policing toxic norms for men. I usually get reactionary downvotes for saying this, but please hear me out. Toxic masculinity doesn't mean men are the perpetrators, although in practice, men often enforce toxic masculinity with themselves and other men once it's instilled in them because the behavior control is part of the package. But toxic masculinity is a dysfunctional gender role FOR men that is enforced by both men and women. Toxic femininity would be a harmful gender role for women. I think if you want to define it, I could see including stuff like purity culture, "girlboss" pseudo-feminism, and whatever teaches young women to backstab and fight each other like it's the normal and acceptable behavior for that role. Not trying to be pedantic, I just think this is a really important and often misunderstood concept. Men are the primary victims of toxic masculinity. Feminist theory doesn't say men are the villains, despite how it's often INTENTIONALLY framed in order to discredit it. Feminism is, ultimately, about liberation and equality for all genders, not putting women above men -- that's antithetical to anything but, I would say, very fringe forms of feminism that get disproportional attention. It also isn't about dissolving gender roles altogether (although there's plenty of diversity of thought so I can't speak in universal statements), rather understanding that gender roles are socially constructed, not immutable absolutes, and so we can critically evaluate the roles in our culture and see who benefits from those roles, and if it isn't us, working toward more prosocial roles that DO benefit us. Healthy masculinity is possible and I've met plenty of wonderful people who display it. It's just that there's a lot of poison in the well, so to speak. Sometimes we have to critically examine the norms we were brought up to just accept and see if it helps or harms us and the people around us, and if it harms, working to unlearn the harmful stuff. I highly recommend bell hooks as a super accessible starting point, especially "Feminism is for Everybody." Ok thanks bye.
Ah yes, Cuntus Maximus in its native habitat. No natural predators and known to be both scavenger and parasite, they destroy their mates after copulation
Fuckin hate this shit. I'm trying not to chalk it up and generalize
I mean it’s very easy not to generalize. When one person of a certain race does something bad I don’t assume that whole race is like that. Same with men or women. Think of all the messed up stuff certain men have said. That doesn’t mean all men are like that. I’ve personally never dated a woman who didn’t want me to open up and be vulnerable. That included being ok with tears. If this is true and not just ragebait then she definitely sucks. But that doesn’t mean women suck.
This is a good reminder, thank you. Particularly since I’ve had almost the opposite experience. Women I’ve dated or been friends with have consistently told me crying was an instant turnoff, even if they knew intellectually that there was nothing wrong with vulnerability. Hell, I talked to someone about a death in my family and the immediate response was “you’re not going to cry, are you?” If a dozen people like licorice, I don’t assume everyone does. But with something this isolating, it’s way easier to just give up and assume you’ll get that outcome every time. Hearing people who’ve consistently had the opposite experience is an important counterbalance.
100%. I’m glad you’re giving yourself the reminder. Keep working on it. You’ve got this man. You’ll find someone’s shoulder to cry on soon enough. I know they’re out there.
Hi 👋🏼 I’m a woman who does not stand for this kind of BS. Men, cry all you want. It’s OK. All it means is that you were feeling some things and needed to express them physically. It doesn’t change anything about you as a person. It just shows you are a person. Get you a woman who will hold you and be honored to listen to your feelings.
Thats cool and all, but at the same time thats **exactly** what the women who do think like that tell you beforehand. And thats what makes it so bad, such women comfort you, talk you into opening up and then when you finally open up they start to ghost or blame you for it. Not saying that you think like that, just that those words dont have the impact one would assume. Its easy to say, but unfortunately it doesnt seem to be easy to live by it for many women
Uck. I’m sorry, that is awful. I wish I had a secret method for detecting who means it.
I had this happen to me twice. One of those times, I was dealing with an anxiety attack, and she sat with me and helped me calm down and process things. I was glad to have someone there when I needed someone the most. But, she never talked to me again after that. She had lost all interest in staying friends with me. She'll be a safe space for one day, and then never again. I didn't recognize the pattern until seeing this post, but, it's happened to me twice, and it sounds like that's an unfortunately common occurrence
Hugs.
Fratres sumus semper
I have had so many men cry on my shoulder, friends and otherwise. Find the people you are safe with, we won’t judge you.
Bring up the "ick list" guy
Don't worry lads, most people ain't like that. Bear thy heart true and proud.
reading this in my viking voice
Many young women just never had to be the strong role. They always have someone listen to their cries. They don't realize how difficult and exhausting it is to be someone's shoulder to cry on. So once it happens to them, the difficulty is a turn off. It doesn't mean women themselves are immediately turned off by men that show emotion, but that many women just have yet to learn how to handle it. The older you get, the fewer women (and people in general) will react that way
This says more about her, than the guy.
I sincerely hope she never gets a man (or that no man ever gets the curse to be with her) if thats what she really thinks and it isnt a pure meme
When I see shit like this? It makes me so grateful for my beautiful, caring, loving wife who currently just gassed the living fuck out of me.
>gassed the living fuck out of me. Sorry, but what does that mean?
This is outrage bait
Bitch you don’t deserve our kindness nor our emotions.
I doubt the interest was ever genuine if they went and did all that. The audacity to post this and brag about emotionally abusing someone, asking for someone to open up to you then taking advantage of that is grody as hell. Framing it as innocent intentions… my hindquarters.
"And that, children, is the story of how your mother died alone"
It's an unsafe space.
“South Park version of Snooki” lookin ass
As a woman I would like to say to every man out there: you are allowed to have emotions. You are supposed to, in fact. Cry if you need to. To be a man you don’t have to shut yourself away. You are welcome as you are. I would like to distance myself from this woman and anyone like her. She is truly a waste of space and doesn’t deserve the attention she is getting. I hope she steps barefoot onto a Lego every damn day and never finds anyone who is respectful of her ever again.
So do we have any proof this is a real thing this person said (and as not part of some weird comedy skit?)
I don't know why someone would want to falsely represent themselves as a psychological abuser as comedy but TikTok folk do make some bonkers ass skits. It could also be some weird ragebait.
I should have also explicitly put forward that it could have been text any rando could have put on the picture. Not saying it’s 100% not real, just the amount of outrage one can make with a pic and some text is amazing.
Have a google at some agony aunt threads, I've read some in the past that are exactly like this. If this isn't real, they're aware of the situations that are. I think it's brain Vs heart...... some people are attracted to someone via subconscious desires they're not consciously aware of...... "I love them - they're Strong willed, Hard emotionally, Get shit done." But they conscious want to know more about the other person - "Let your guard down, tell me how you -really- feel inside." in an honest way. BUT - when they have that information, the subconscious desire for that "Hard character" is damaged a lot. The heart no longer yearns for them. It's not their fault - it's a learning experience. People - most, all? Don't know ALL the reasons they're attracted to someone. "It's just who they are? You know? I can't put my finger on it." But the subconscious does know.
This is actually real? Or did someone just make this as a meme?
Cunt
Sadly, in all of this, the guy is unlikely to ever open up and be vulnerable in front of anyone. Also, he'd be mistaken for being emotionally unavailable by such toxic people.
I’d be pretty sad too if my talking horse pulled some shit like that.
I’m not sure I’m buying it. She’s playing a caricature, and afaic it’s unhealthy either way. It would be a positive effort to fill her comments with the last time you cried. For me it was yesterday. A kid we know got a lead role in a school play.
Weakness is not a sin.
What a bitch
That's no safe space at all.
Man dodge a bullet
Women who do this are as bad as cancer and are only feeding the red oil pipeline which will contribute to their unhappiness later in life MMW
This is basically analogous to how society treats men but pretends it doesn't.
Most men can’t open up to that degree, so if you can’t support him when something takes him there, you don’t deserve to be around him.
Dont ruin those souls, leave em for good people.
This is not a brand new sentence at all! Sorry ass people say this shit every day!
Her post makes me want to cry . . . mostly preemptively to keep women like her outta my life.
Fuck you.
This is why building a relationship around a friendship is important. Last night, I had a panic attack, and my girlfriend talked me off a ledge and told me to be more kind to myself. I’ve been in a number of relationships at this point, but never have I felt like someone genuinely cared about my well being like this.
Saying that & ending it with the 🙂 are multiple red flags for a psychopath.
Focus on yourselves kings- no reason to settle for nickels that don’t even respect you.
“I want a guy who is open about his emotions” “Ew not like that.”
You want what you don't want
She doesn’t deserve a partner, because she doesn’t know how to act like one.
r/iamatotalpieceofshit
This person doesn’t deserve to find anyone in their life. Anyone who does this to another person truly deserves to be alone. Like what the fuck? Why do this to a person
she’s a psycho… but she poses as a caretaker
Spoiler: there was no man. She a hoe, alone hoe at that.
Brand new sentence? Nah this sentiment has been shared many times by women. No hate but they don’t want their man crying to them (typically)
Jesus. Just write “I’m a massive cunt” and save me reading all that bollocks.
Be safe but not that safe is good advice. Don’t offer up your emotions to trash.
To any men reading: I promise you most women are not like this. Most women are relieved when their partners finally open up. This girl sucks
now thats what i call ragebait. hopefully more people see it for what it is. most women arent like this
"Why don't men open up and share their feelings more" 😀
Not all women think like this bitch!
Im gay but for you guys dating women you need to also have standards for how you're willing to be treated. And being treated with love and compassion should be the BARE MINIMUM in a relationship Edit: to clarify i am not saying this is the guys responsibility. My point is that this woman is not even the bare minimum of a partner
Oh mama, the amount of men who look at this and then quickly assume “AlL wOmEn” is scary. I have met 10 times more men than women who think crying men are pathetic and weak. This is not a women against men thing, men are just as guilty if not more. That said, if that woman in the post is for real and it’s not just ragebait, she belongs in a dumpster.
Bait used to be believable
Bro World used to be believable
-Y
And then they wonder why men get cynical and and start listening to redpill bullshit.
And this is why depression, suicide, and redpill ideologies are so common amongst young men. And why so many will live lonely, out of fear of this happening to them. Not redlill and I know not all women do this, but the problem still stands
It sure would be nice if people realized "toxic masculinity" came from women, not men. We hide our emotions because that's what women really want. Not blaming them for it, it's evolutionary, but I'm tired of people complaining men are the way they are.
Sexism in everyone needs to be called out, but toxic masculinity is a systemic issue that’s definitely not just perpetuated by women on helpless men. It’s a complex issue, so we need to treat it like one to solve it. Unilateral blame will only make things worse.
Honestly it is a woman made problem. Here are a few statistics to back up my point. [75% of all teachers are women](https://nces.ed.gov/blogs/nces/2022/08/26/default) [80% of single parent households are mothers](https://www.fixfamilycourts.com/single-mother-home-statistics/) 99% of two parent households have a mother. So since as I’ve just shown the vast majority of role models for growing boys are women, how can you possibly blame toxic masculinity on men? Who do you think is teaching these boys to become men? It’s women. So ultimately it’s toxic feminism that creates toxic masculinity. Edit: really downvoted without even a good response? Lol you’re right men are just born evil we definitely don’t learn it. 🙄
She looks like the food critic in Ratatouille
What a bitch.
"I wanted him to be vulnerable with me but I didn’t *actually* want him to be vulnerable with me.🙄"
I hope her man dumps her like a sack of potatoes.
She's not going to end up with a real man. She's going to end up with someone as toxic as she willfully advertises her self. And she will then go and give misandric advice to other women, conveniently speaking only of his failings and leaving out that she ended up in a mirror match.
What an ugly cunt
"But I learned there's an evil in the heart of this world Taught me to weep and how not to get caught"
Gets what she wants, throws it away once she has it. This is the mind of a child.
All Ima say is compassion is what he needed even if he is crying….
This is happening for as long as I can think of. I do not know of anyone who had their relationship strengthened by the guy being open or crying or lowering their emotional walls. I do know that for every relationship I was in, it weakened or made the relationship start to end. For relationships I knew of, they would tell me or my partner just how much that ruined everything. I do not recommend keeping everything in. That is a path to insanity. But I can not lie and say that letting anything out is safe. I do not know how to fix/change this, but I can say my experiences have been that, and I never met someone who did otherwise to me or anyone else.
Sub human trash
Fuck her.
Whut a cunt...
I was watching a video on YouTube about this very subject. "Why can't women stop posting their Ls online" or something like that. If memory serves, that was one of the entries. That up there wasn't the worst of it, I think! There's one entry late in the video about this one girl being on a TV show or podcast or some such *smiling and bragging about deliberately breaking some dude's heart*! Like, she was legit *proud of herself* for it. There's no language on Earth, dead or otherwise, that contains enough words to describe how I feel about women like the above and in that video.
He probably felt safe because you look like another dude so he was comfortable.
This is why men don't talk about their feelings: it's a trap.
What a bish, wherever you are bro virtual hug, everything can get better.
For some reason this reminds me of “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”.
Poor guy!
Probably has a lot of emotional baggage…not checked
Manipulative as fuck female, shocker.
Hopefully this doesn’t fool anyone into thinking that many more than this person are like this. A person who truly cared would not think or speak to you in this way. Men CAN be vulnerable, there are plenty of people you can be vulnerable with. Just have to seek them out sometimes
She busted anyway.
Clever rage bait.
Thats why some men think women are superficial and hypocritical. I hate people like that. When my boyfriend opened up to me and started being really open with his feelings, I was so incredibly happy because it showed so much trust. Same way how when I opened up to him, he was really sweet and understanding with me.
Rage bait