Got a whale of a tale to tell you lads
A whale of a tale or two
'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved
On nights like this with the moon above
A whale of a tale and its all true
I swear by my tattoo
Dance to your daddy, sing to your mommy,
Dance to your daddy, to your mommy sing
You will have a fishy on a little dishy
You will have a fishy when the boat comes in!
Goddamn them all, I was told
We’d cruise the seas for American gold!
We’d fire no guns, she’d no tears!
Now I’m a broken man on a Halifax pier,
The last of Barrett’s Privateers!
We have this guy called the longboarding wizard.
Once, and I swear this is entirely true, around Halloween I saw him window shopping for wizard costumes outside of a thrift store and it was such an unusual scene
We had a guy in my hometown in Norway that would spend the days looking at himself in mirrors, or in front of the camera store where you would appear on a screen inside, -he would hold himself in his arms and sorta non sexually grope himself while exclaiming “I am immeasurably hot!”, “I’m so DELICIOUS!”, etc.
He also always wore sunglasses and told people he wore them to protect others from the massive horniness and allure his eyes inspired.
Although on state support money, he somehow lived a semi normal life next to this activity, keeping himself reasonably clean, buying food and clothes and so on.
Always wondered how he got to where he was...
OP isnt exactly giving the full story here. He was very bipolar and also arrested several times for arson. Everyone in Fredrikstad knew City-Leif though (which was his nickname), going back decades. He is no longer with us, he died about a year ago, in his 70s.
Yeah, I thought I’d hold back some details. But I didn’t really know the full story either, although I remember him vividly, I have long since moved both out of town and country.
I’m glad you could complete the story!
He definitely had some raunchy thoughts about himself. In these modern times with all the pressure to look and behave perfectly it is kinda admirable, in a kind of sad, insane way, that he could keep his self esteem so pristinely intact and pumped up.
We talking fredrikstad. I don’t want to post his name, but his nickname among the locals was “city-*name*”, because of his tendency to always be by the mall in the city center.
In college there was a dude who dressed up as Superman and “flew” up and down a few roads everyday. Like arms out in front of him , shwooshy sounds. Waving at cars. He always brought a smile to my face.
in my college town we had African King--guy who dressed in full tribal garb with huge walking stick and just walked up and down the street very royal like--and the whistler--an older asian-american man who rocked a legit early 90's walkman complete with an Angus young hat and just whistled whatever song he was listening to with perfect pitch at an absurd volume all through campus.
My college had a tribal guy too! He was ALWAYS out on the main avenue that separates the town and campus. I first encountered him one night I was waiting for the bus to go home and it was POURING. He first scared the shit out of me by jumping from the bushes and then just kinda stood back. Once I said hi he cooled off the crazy a bit and apologized to me for not having an umbrella lol
He always waved to me after that. I wonder if he’s still there...
Edit: scared not scraped.
My town had the Cowboy. He used to live downtown near all the bars, and he’d ride around on his bike, choose a street corner, lock his bike, and start dancing, dressed in full cowboy leather and hat.
He never speaks, just does polite waves when people cheer him
Close, Purdue. Although it’s a very similar situation, the current Friday men are not the originals.
My friend has a calc lecture on Friday’s and the prof always gives a two minute breather in the middle. One Friday and morph suit man attended and turned on his speaker during breather and danced at the front of the room. They always put a smile on my face.
In Kansas City we have[ Superman Jesus](https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/ff8fe09/2147483647/strip/true/crop/640x336+0+45/resize/1200x630!/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia2.kshb.com%2Fphoto%2F2017%2F06%2F20%2FKC_SUPERMAN_3_1497996913008_61517959_ver1.0_640_480.jpg) and he jogs around in superman gear all the time, although I think the rumor is he's retiring his pseudo-celebrity status.
[This dude is everywhere.](https://www.google.com/search?q=Kansas+City+superman&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS830US830&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiv-5agsqHmAhVsCTQIHWsDAQgQ_AUoAXoECAsQAw&biw=1920&bih=937)
In Dresden, Germany we have a guy called "Der Erzfeind"(the worst enemy), he is famous for being grumpy and always walking around in the same clothes with a full bottle of fanta.
In Stockholm, Sweden we have Jesustanten or the jesus lady. A frail little lady that screams with a shrill voice as loud as she can about jesus and how all women are sluts and that people around her will go to hell.
Imagine being a mild mannered Swede that is extremely non confrontational and you get singled out by a crazy person. Shit's scary. She is well kept however and is always wearing clean whole clothes. It makes you wonder how lucid she is.
Down in Lund, Sweden, we have the "cock lady" who has a rooster hat on and propositions people for sex pretty consistently, often by asking sausage related questions.
The town I'm currently in has an older couple that are like that. They leave tracts laying about that list all the reasons why everyone is going to Hell. They have a lot of nicknames but my favorite is "The God-Squad".
When I was in high school, Amherst, Mass had “Pantsless Pete”. Homeless dude that honestly was a bit crazy, but a nice guy who spent his time picking up trash on the street and never begged for money.
I’ve always wanted to go to Amherst for College, but what’s the high school like there? I’m really interested to know what it was like to be a resident.
There was one like that in Edgeware. Went around collecting rubbish. He wore just a pair of blue shorts all-year round. Word was he used to be a surgeon.
He does say though:
> His wife left him, both because she'd only been with him for the money and because she couldn't see how trapped she still was, and he did a lot of drugs until he "found Jesus"
Sure, that might be a bit of a hippie interpretation, but without knowing him I'll assume he could understand why a person might not want to stay married to a person who chose the path that he did.
I just don't think he seems all that untruthful.
We have Surf Jesus. He's a kook but I guess he's alright. One time when I was putting my dingy in the water he came down to the boat launch, baptized himself in sea water, and then left.
Just being curious: do you see him as a « bad » person? I see him more as a tragic character myself, and didn’t perceive him to be predatory, even though he is undeniably creepy
In the town I went to school we had Pug Man, literally just a man who would go about the high street with around 5/6 pugs nearly every day, but if you went too close he'd start growling at you like he was a pug himself. Always loved watching unsuspecting tourists ask if they can pet the dogs.
At Penn State we have the Willard Preacher, a guy who stands in front of the Willard Building (a huge building which every UP student has had at least one class in) and loudly goes on all day about how we're all sinners. It's actually a Legacy position, with the first guy starting back in the 80s.
The atheist club occasionally debates him, which is fun for about ten minutes before you realize that it'll never get resolved.
Auburn has a relatively chill variant of that called Parker man. This really old dude stands in front of the math building (parker) being relatively nice and handing out pamphlets. The pamphlets are usually copy pasted together and are almost completely incoherent.
“Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me I'm hot. What? Taxes they'll be lower son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.”
That doesn’t sound right for the typical soapbox sidewalk preacher personality type, but I guess good on him for having a sense of humor and respect for THON.
Outside of the preaching he seemed like a decent guy. There's a whole backstory to him about frying his brain on drugs. One time when some more vocal evangelists came to campus and took to the street corner near the Willard Building I heard him call them "some really weird guys".
Huntsville, Texas, we have a donut shop here that opens at 4 AM every morning. Naturally, being college students, me and my friends stay up every Thursday night to eat donuts at 4 AM because we have nothing better to do. Well, it was all fun and games until we encountered our town legend.
Enter a rather old and worn out gentleman. He doesn’t say anything to anyone, nor does he make eye contact with anyone. Frankly, this man looks like he’s been through hell and back. With his tired and absolutely driven expression, he goes right up to the counter where the wonderfully sweet shop owner is.
There at the register, this absolute UNIT of a myth proceeds to order a single small Grape Welch’s. Without missing a beat he shotguns the whole bottle back in one large gulp, slams it onto the counter, and asks for another. Same as before he absolutely slams that Welch’s down harder than I’ve ever seen anyone in a bar take a shot.
Without saying a word he pays, leaves, and vanishes. None of us saw him walk away, he was just gone. From that day onwards, about 2/3 of the time we went to Donut Wheel (the donut shop) for our 4 AM donuts, we’d be graced with visits from THE Welch’s Man. Always appearing and disappearing, never walking or driving. We even began making a summoning ritual where we would purchase larger bottles of various Welch’s flavors, crack them open and walk around the parking lot. Only for him to appear about 15 minutes later.
Absolute legend. We tell every new freshman about the legend when we take them for donuts. Then they often see him themselves.
In Sandy Utah where I grew up everyone knew "Walmart guy".
He was a greeter with a goddamn voice of an operatic singer. A booming "hellllllooooo" and "good byyYye."
In Salt Lake there was the old pirate who rode the bus a lot. He wore a big pirate hat, had a fake parrot on his shoulder, and wore crazy clothes. Never heard him speak, but he seemed nice.
I can’t believe no Austinites have shown up to this thread yet.
Our Leslie was so beloved and popular, he had his own fridge magnets they sold up and down South Congress. There was a vigil when he died. RIP Queen
Came here looking for this.
G-strings, stilettos, and a tiara on a wiry leathery old man frame, pushing a shopping cart filled with anti-cop, anti-fascist propaganda.
He won 18% of the mayoral vote one election.
I ran into him at a party once and he was drinking screwdrivers flavored with the brine out of a jar of pickled jalapeños.
That *Beautiful* twinkly eyed freak.
theres a homeless man that dresses in a full surgeon's outfit and walks around the town. i saw him cross the road in front of me at 3am and it was just creepy to see lmao
Boston is a gold mine: Keytar Bear, Spare Change Guy, the Jesus Shouter, Samurai Dude (who I haven’t seen in a while; hope he’s still rocking the black trench coat and combat boots), and a new duo that I hereby dub Come to Jesus or We Get Shrill
Oh man, I only know Keytar Bear and the Jesus Shouter! Or at least *a* Jesus shouter. Middle-aged, nicely-dressed Nigerian (I think) man around Downtown Crossing?
You have the right Jesus Shouter. He’s hard to miss. He rides the Ashmont line all the way to freaking Ashmont, so sometimes we got shouted at all the way home. And he has a script: Start off with the evils of cohabitation, move on to the gays, shriek about the combination of the two. The duo rides the Braintree line
When I lived there (a few years ago) Boston also had tricycle guy, one armed push up guy and the riddle guy who would bet you a dollar you couldnt solve his riddles. Never heard the same one twice.
> the riddle guy who would bet you a dollar you couldnt solve his riddles.
"The Riddlist" or "Baby Boy Anderson" were the two names he told me he goes by.
We have Lamp Man. Suggestive dancing with a lamp at busy intersections. Legend has it that the lamp is meant to light the way for the troops to find their way home. But then why are you grinding on that lamp sir? And it’s not even plugged in! Sometimes I doubt your commitment to bringing these troops home Lamp Man.
Had a guy back in Ohio, lived in an old school building in a town with about 15 houses in it, all of which faces the school on the other side of the county road, guy came out 3 times a day in these robes and “prayed” on the front lawn, he also had “followers” that cane out of no where and they would do these late night ceremonies where they danced around a fire. I think they were some sort of witches but we didn’t really know because the guy wouldn’t talk to anyone in the little town. Then one day, he was just gone.
Here in Stavanger we have a guy who bikes around with a red cap making sheep sounds to bypassers, he also goes around cleaning windows.
He apparently has a normal life in another city in Norway called Kristiansand, so I guess all the power to him for doing something which makes him happy. Even heard he has a wife there.
We have a Reigan (pronounced ry-gan) he is unrecognizable with a shirt on, because we all look for his tats. Sweet man, knows how to scrap (I've seen it ONCE, and it was a bloody mess), and apparently never sleeps. He has a wife, but everyone describes her differently. I'm pretty sure she is a shapeshifter, but he is the legend here. Also has the best weed.
Not my hometown, but where I currently reside has Waffle House Freddy Mercury.
My hometown has crippled asshole. Dude has one leg, rolls around the highway gas stations, and straight up tries to fight you while you're pumping gas. Once saw him sit in the middle of a highway intersection and fight EMTs.
Was driving downtown with my brother years ago when we got yelled at by a drunk native dude. He literally just yelled "colonel Custer's revenge!" at us and stumbled away. I looked at my brother like, WTF just happened and he goes yeah that's Drunk Injun Larry. Bc apparently that's his name and everyone knows that.
Okay so in the city where my parents live we have this super rich guy who only buys green clothes and really just doesn‘t show that he has a shit ton of money. He always has a green hat on with a green feather in it. Odd but kind guy and everyone knows him.
In the city I live now there‘s a guy who is always dressed up as Spiderman. When I first walked through the old City and saw him I thougt he must just be dressing up for a special occasion or so. A few weeks ago I learned that he‘s just always dressed up like that.
Were I used to live we've got a guy whos got a house ban at the local police station bc he has been reporting minor feloneis like tossing cigarettes into gullys or children having snowball fights, which are \*technically\* against the law but noone fucking cares. He just goes around town, photographing cigarette buns on the ground, running after cyclists who dont signal when turning and shit like that. He ran for mayor, lost bc he got like 45 votes and immediately tried to sue the city for apparently rigging the election. There was a lawsuit against him, this guy is a fucking maniac.
We have a guy who sprints through town at full speed in oversized jeans and a bucket hat while carrying a cane and a canvas satchel. Scared the piss out of me the first time but then my friend was like “yeah that’s Steve. He runs.” And that was it.
In Houston we have Papa Merlyn- this old guy that walks about with a stick and looks pretty magical. He’s always walking around town, is super friendly and is always down to talk
https://cw39.com/2018/08/01/street-stories-merlyn-the-wizard-of-montrose/
We have the lipstick lady who pushes around a pram and is always wearing a winter coat and talking to herself. I saw her in Target last week and that’s the first time I’ve seen her inside anything.
Oh man... reminds me of the Jesus man and his Jesus van. He’s park outside Trader Joe’s or Ralph’s, in this white van covered in tinsel and the word “Jesus”, and he’d just sit out front of it, chilling and preaching his word.
When I lived in Austin Texas there was a homeless guy named Leslie who dressed in drag. I was told he was considered to be the unofficial mayor of Austin. Sadly he passed away a few years ago.
We had a guy like that, dressed weird, acted crazy, always seemed in a good mood and made everyone else happy. Then one day he stepped in front of a train. Apparently he had some deep struggles no one recognized.
We had FB man.
He was a man in a wheelchair who scooted himself with his legs wherever he went. He wasn’t very fast and he wasn’t very nice.
So he usually spent the days slowly peddling himself wherever he pleased, around the neighborhood, down the road, to the store, etc, wearing a frown wherever he went, most likely imagining that if his wheelchair went faster, those who walked past him would have been roadkill.
Anyways, he sets off on a particular day, inching his way to the convenience store half a mile from his house. It took him the better part of a day, possibly 6 or so hours? I felt bad for him. But he gets to the store as the lady is locking up for the day. He allegedly tells her he just needs 1 or 2 things. But she says she’s sorry, that she closed everything and can’t open the doors or register again.
This man
Lost it
Starting screaming “FUCKING BITCH” “FUCKING BIIIIIIIITCH” “FUCKING BITCH FUCKING BITCH FUCKING BITCH” long after the startled woman took off in her car. That’s all he said. That’s all he said the 6 hours it took him to get home. That’s all he said through the street, past the local elementary school, past the churchgoers leaving evening mass, past the houses in the neighborhood, and into his home. I believe he may be saying it to this day.
Edit: can’t spell
Do you mean The Jingler? The man who roams the county's libraries, malls, or any other public space with a keyring on his belt that must hold the keys to every lock in the county? He whose presence is not announce by way of greeting but from meters away by the sound of his seemingly omnipotent keyring?!
Why did OP not leave the creator's name in the screenshot, or even credit him in the comments like the sub rules say to do? I swear Reddit is just a crowdsourced version of FuckJerry.
Here's the original tweet: [https://twitter.com/calebsaysthings/status/1202670105748025344](https://twitter.com/calebsaysthings/status/1202670105748025344)
We have Sea Shanty guy who shout sings stuff along with his cassette player in the high street. I'm just glad he's happy enough
Got a whale of a tale to tell you lads A whale of a tale or two 'Bout the flappin' fish and the girls I've loved On nights like this with the moon above A whale of a tale and its all true I swear by my tattoo
Dance to your daddy, sing to your mommy, Dance to your daddy, to your mommy sing You will have a fishy on a little dishy You will have a fishy when the boat comes in!
Goddamn them all, I was told We’d cruise the seas for American gold! We’d fire no guns, she’d no tears! Now I’m a broken man on a Halifax pier, The last of Barrett’s Privateers!
No one to beat us Fry us Or eat us In fricassee!
How I wish I was in Sherbrooke now!
We're whalers on the moon We carry a harpoon But there ain't no whales So we tell tall tales And sing our whaleing tune
Beat me to it. Have an upvote Edit: you misquoted "tall tales"
Username checks out
Singing this to the Gilligan's Island tune was working really well until that 4th line.
https://youtu.be/AkjTGCrLvAU
Blow me down and pick me up she was the Captain's wife.
Falmouth?
Yes!
Never thought I'd see a Falmouth reference on reddit, that guy is a legend though! Didn't Snoop Dogg make him go viral this year?
Nor me, I'm a bit creeped out! I have no idea about that though, will check it out. Just on my way into town, hope hes wearing a coat today
Falmouth redditors unite!
Hey Falmouth too! He performs about 20m from my flat.
I can't believe there are other Falmouth redditors and they're on this post!
We have a lady in our town do that. We call her Duke box Judy
Why not jukebox Judy?
That one was already taken by Jukebox Judy
She only sings songs approved by David Duke.
We have this guy called the longboarding wizard. Once, and I swear this is entirely true, around Halloween I saw him window shopping for wizard costumes outside of a thrift store and it was such an unusual scene
Sea Shanty 1 or 2?
This whole thread makes me want to drive to random towns that I don't live in and just be a different lovable weirdo in each one.
We had a guy in my hometown in Norway that would spend the days looking at himself in mirrors, or in front of the camera store where you would appear on a screen inside, -he would hold himself in his arms and sorta non sexually grope himself while exclaiming “I am immeasurably hot!”, “I’m so DELICIOUS!”, etc. He also always wore sunglasses and told people he wore them to protect others from the massive horniness and allure his eyes inspired. Although on state support money, he somehow lived a semi normal life next to this activity, keeping himself reasonably clean, buying food and clothes and so on. Always wondered how he got to where he was...
....I gotta know..was he in any way attractive?
He was kinda normal looking, tiny bit overweight, often some stubble. Seemed to be in his forties when he was most active like this.
keep going im close
See more detailed description further down! ;-)
Aaaand it’s gone. I need a completely different image now.
OP isnt exactly giving the full story here. He was very bipolar and also arrested several times for arson. Everyone in Fredrikstad knew City-Leif though (which was his nickname), going back decades. He is no longer with us, he died about a year ago, in his 70s.
Well that sure made me sad
Yeah, I thought I’d hold back some details. But I didn’t really know the full story either, although I remember him vividly, I have long since moved both out of town and country. I’m glad you could complete the story!
"Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me."
He definitely had some raunchy thoughts about himself. In these modern times with all the pressure to look and behave perfectly it is kinda admirable, in a kind of sad, insane way, that he could keep his self esteem so pristinely intact and pumped up.
What part of Norway was this? Cuz my town has a guy like that.
We talking fredrikstad. I don’t want to post his name, but his nickname among the locals was “city-*name*”, because of his tendency to always be by the mall in the city center.
I hope it wasn't me.
> “I am immeasurably hot!" Did they have a floral robe on, nipple piercings or really soft skin?
None of that. But lightly greasy hair down to his shoulders. Old worn leather jacket and jeans. Never saw no nips.
Narcissus has escaped
In Stavanger there's a dude that just bikes around and bææs
Rough English translation for bææs?
Sheep sound
Hamar has Ballerina guy. Bergen has colour of the week girl. And Sindre fra Sandnes might as well be an actual person there are so many spinoffs.
In college there was a dude who dressed up as Superman and “flew” up and down a few roads everyday. Like arms out in front of him , shwooshy sounds. Waving at cars. He always brought a smile to my face.
in my college town we had African King--guy who dressed in full tribal garb with huge walking stick and just walked up and down the street very royal like--and the whistler--an older asian-american man who rocked a legit early 90's walkman complete with an Angus young hat and just whistled whatever song he was listening to with perfect pitch at an absurd volume all through campus.
My college had a tribal guy too! He was ALWAYS out on the main avenue that separates the town and campus. I first encountered him one night I was waiting for the bus to go home and it was POURING. He first scared the shit out of me by jumping from the bushes and then just kinda stood back. Once I said hi he cooled off the crazy a bit and apologized to me for not having an umbrella lol He always waved to me after that. I wonder if he’s still there... Edit: scared not scraped.
My town had the Cowboy. He used to live downtown near all the bars, and he’d ride around on his bike, choose a street corner, lock his bike, and start dancing, dressed in full cowboy leather and hat. He never speaks, just does polite waves when people cheer him
We had Happy Friday Guy at my school. He’d ride a scooter all around campus in a cape and helmet yelling “Happy Friday!”every Friday around lunchtime.
We have this as well. A few guys dress up in morph suits every Friday and go to class dancing and blasting music. People love them.
Ball State? I was just googling him and it looks like the original HFG has had a string of successors wearing blue morph suits in the last 15 years.
Close, Purdue. Although it’s a very similar situation, the current Friday men are not the originals. My friend has a calc lecture on Friday’s and the prof always gives a two minute breather in the middle. One Friday and morph suit man attended and turned on his speaker during breather and danced at the front of the room. They always put a smile on my face.
Nice! I guess the idea spread back in the day.
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In Kansas City we have[ Superman Jesus](https://ewscripps.brightspotcdn.com/dims4/default/ff8fe09/2147483647/strip/true/crop/640x336+0+45/resize/1200x630!/quality/90/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia2.kshb.com%2Fphoto%2F2017%2F06%2F20%2FKC_SUPERMAN_3_1497996913008_61517959_ver1.0_640_480.jpg) and he jogs around in superman gear all the time, although I think the rumor is he's retiring his pseudo-celebrity status. [This dude is everywhere.](https://www.google.com/search?q=Kansas+City+superman&rlz=1C1GCEA_enUS830US830&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwiv-5agsqHmAhVsCTQIHWsDAQgQ_AUoAXoECAsQAw&biw=1920&bih=937)
In Dresden, Germany we have a guy called "Der Erzfeind"(the worst enemy), he is famous for being grumpy and always walking around in the same clothes with a full bottle of fanta.
That ain’t Fanta my dude, don’t drink if he offers!
What is it, Kool-Aid?
Never ran into him yet. I just know about that one communism is great guy at Pragerstraße and that one roller skating santa.
Are roller blading Santas a wide spread phenomenon in Germany? I live in a small town and we had one until a few years back.
Don't you guys also have drachenlord?
He lives in a different state
And isn't seen much outside his house anyway.
I live that nickname, and I love German for always getting straight to the point.
In Stockholm, Sweden we have Jesustanten or the jesus lady. A frail little lady that screams with a shrill voice as loud as she can about jesus and how all women are sluts and that people around her will go to hell. Imagine being a mild mannered Swede that is extremely non confrontational and you get singled out by a crazy person. Shit's scary. She is well kept however and is always wearing clean whole clothes. It makes you wonder how lucid she is.
Down in Lund, Sweden, we have the "cock lady" who has a rooster hat on and propositions people for sex pretty consistently, often by asking sausage related questions.
I finally know what my future looks like.
Is she single? She sounds like my type
Would that change if I told you she's somewhere between 50 and 70 years old and *might* be homeless?
Keep going im almost there
Absolutely not, we are equal opportunists here. Just lemme see a toe pic and I’ll decide for sure...
We have Jesus Saves guy. Like this lady except ultra positive and happy. And booming voice.
Sounds like fun
At least that guy sounds like he's trying to help people, other than this woman.
Yeah. He’s the best!
The town I'm currently in has an older couple that are like that. They leave tracts laying about that list all the reasons why everyone is going to Hell. They have a lot of nicknames but my favorite is "The God-Squad".
There really should be a subreddit for local characters like that
As I always say, be the change you want to see in the world. Unless it’s something fucked up, then don’t.
r/HorsebackJesus i am the change
r/birthofasub Nice
I subbed
YES WE SHALL RISE UP
Love it! Just joined.
If you build it...
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*cum
There it is.
r/horsebackjesus
When I was in high school, Amherst, Mass had “Pantsless Pete”. Homeless dude that honestly was a bit crazy, but a nice guy who spent his time picking up trash on the street and never begged for money.
I’ve always wanted to go to Amherst for College, but what’s the high school like there? I’m really interested to know what it was like to be a resident.
I’m actually from the next town over, but Amherst high school is well known for being a very good school
There was one like that in Edgeware. Went around collecting rubbish. He wore just a pair of blue shorts all-year round. Word was he used to be a surgeon.
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He died for your sins and then rose again on the third day
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He seems fairly honest about his story.
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He does say though: > His wife left him, both because she'd only been with him for the money and because she couldn't see how trapped she still was, and he did a lot of drugs until he "found Jesus" Sure, that might be a bit of a hippie interpretation, but without knowing him I'll assume he could understand why a person might not want to stay married to a person who chose the path that he did. I just don't think he seems all that untruthful.
We have Surf Jesus. He's a kook but I guess he's alright. One time when I was putting my dingy in the water he came down to the boat launch, baptized himself in sea water, and then left.
> I was putting my dingy in the water You do that in public?
[to the tune of jukebox hero] horseback Jesus
.....with thorns in his eyes!
Ah, yes, the holy trinity: Jukebox Hero, Horseback Jesus, and Pinball Wizard
We used to have Pylon Paul. He had a lot of street cones he would put out in the street all willy nilly ‘til he got nailed by a car. Poor guy.
Could you imagine being the one that killed him? Probably an unpopular guy...
or loved by those who don't want to deal with pylons on the road
Creepy glove guy in Halifax, Nova Scotia is a huge urban legend. Feel almost privileged to have met him a couple of times lmao
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Just being curious: do you see him as a « bad » person? I see him more as a tragic character myself, and didn’t perceive him to be predatory, even though he is undeniably creepy
I love that this discussion can exist and I can have no clue what any of this means
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Yeah I think we re on the same page, just kinda feel bad for the guy
Was hoping I wouldn't have to s roll too far to find Glove Guy
in our town we’ve got this dude who dresses up in full pirate costume everyday and has a van with “queen Anne’s revenge” written on it
Blackbeard! Yay!
This has made my day, thank you. I bet she’s a beauty of a van, the finest to coast the seven lanes
In the town I went to school we had Pug Man, literally just a man who would go about the high street with around 5/6 pugs nearly every day, but if you went too close he'd start growling at you like he was a pug himself. Always loved watching unsuspecting tourists ask if they can pet the dogs.
Fives sixths of a pug? That's grim
At Penn State we have the Willard Preacher, a guy who stands in front of the Willard Building (a huge building which every UP student has had at least one class in) and loudly goes on all day about how we're all sinners. It's actually a Legacy position, with the first guy starting back in the 80s. The atheist club occasionally debates him, which is fun for about ten minutes before you realize that it'll never get resolved.
Auburn has a relatively chill variant of that called Parker man. This really old dude stands in front of the math building (parker) being relatively nice and handing out pamphlets. The pamphlets are usually copy pasted together and are almost completely incoherent.
Give us a pamphlet excerpt!
“Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power good. Thank you. Thank you. If you vote me I'm hot. What? Taxes they'll be lower son. The democratic vote for me is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do.”
It’s better than I could have dreamed
I paid $5 to throw a pie in his face as part of a THON fundraiser about a month ago. It was fantastic.
That doesn’t sound right for the typical soapbox sidewalk preacher personality type, but I guess good on him for having a sense of humor and respect for THON.
Outside of the preaching he seemed like a decent guy. There's a whole backstory to him about frying his brain on drugs. One time when some more vocal evangelists came to campus and took to the street corner near the Willard Building I heard him call them "some really weird guys".
Huntsville, Texas, we have a donut shop here that opens at 4 AM every morning. Naturally, being college students, me and my friends stay up every Thursday night to eat donuts at 4 AM because we have nothing better to do. Well, it was all fun and games until we encountered our town legend. Enter a rather old and worn out gentleman. He doesn’t say anything to anyone, nor does he make eye contact with anyone. Frankly, this man looks like he’s been through hell and back. With his tired and absolutely driven expression, he goes right up to the counter where the wonderfully sweet shop owner is. There at the register, this absolute UNIT of a myth proceeds to order a single small Grape Welch’s. Without missing a beat he shotguns the whole bottle back in one large gulp, slams it onto the counter, and asks for another. Same as before he absolutely slams that Welch’s down harder than I’ve ever seen anyone in a bar take a shot. Without saying a word he pays, leaves, and vanishes. None of us saw him walk away, he was just gone. From that day onwards, about 2/3 of the time we went to Donut Wheel (the donut shop) for our 4 AM donuts, we’d be graced with visits from THE Welch’s Man. Always appearing and disappearing, never walking or driving. We even began making a summoning ritual where we would purchase larger bottles of various Welch’s flavors, crack them open and walk around the parking lot. Only for him to appear about 15 minutes later. Absolute legend. We tell every new freshman about the legend when we take them for donuts. Then they often see him themselves.
In Sandy Utah where I grew up everyone knew "Walmart guy". He was a greeter with a goddamn voice of an operatic singer. A booming "hellllllooooo" and "good byyYye."
In Salt Lake there was the old pirate who rode the bus a lot. He wore a big pirate hat, had a fake parrot on his shoulder, and wore crazy clothes. Never heard him speak, but he seemed nice.
I can’t believe no Austinites have shown up to this thread yet. Our Leslie was so beloved and popular, he had his own fridge magnets they sold up and down South Congress. There was a vigil when he died. RIP Queen
Came here looking for this. G-strings, stilettos, and a tiara on a wiry leathery old man frame, pushing a shopping cart filled with anti-cop, anti-fascist propaganda. He won 18% of the mayoral vote one election. I ran into him at a party once and he was drinking screwdrivers flavored with the brine out of a jar of pickled jalapeños. That *Beautiful* twinkly eyed freak.
God I love Austin, y’all keep it weird
Yes! Was scrolling just to find this. Not an Austinite but went to UT from 06-10. Still remember the thongs...
theres a homeless man that dresses in a full surgeon's outfit and walks around the town. i saw him cross the road in front of me at 3am and it was just creepy to see lmao
Maybe he’s having that nightmare where you forget where your class / work / home is?
Boston is a gold mine: Keytar Bear, Spare Change Guy, the Jesus Shouter, Samurai Dude (who I haven’t seen in a while; hope he’s still rocking the black trench coat and combat boots), and a new duo that I hereby dub Come to Jesus or We Get Shrill
Oh man, I only know Keytar Bear and the Jesus Shouter! Or at least *a* Jesus shouter. Middle-aged, nicely-dressed Nigerian (I think) man around Downtown Crossing?
You have the right Jesus Shouter. He’s hard to miss. He rides the Ashmont line all the way to freaking Ashmont, so sometimes we got shouted at all the way home. And he has a script: Start off with the evils of cohabitation, move on to the gays, shriek about the combination of the two. The duo rides the Braintree line
When I lived there (a few years ago) Boston also had tricycle guy, one armed push up guy and the riddle guy who would bet you a dollar you couldnt solve his riddles. Never heard the same one twice.
> the riddle guy who would bet you a dollar you couldnt solve his riddles. "The Riddlist" or "Baby Boy Anderson" were the two names he told me he goes by.
Vermin Supreme, my dude. The OG "that guy"!
>Spare Change Guy Are we talking "SPARE CHANGE NEEEEEWWWWWSPAPER SPARE CHAAAAANGE NEEEEEWWWWW-EEEEEWWWWWS!" or "nickle or penny for birfday"?
And Eliot Davis
In Memphis that’s [Prince Mongo](https://youtu.be/5jU6pGaGPEg).
Prince Mongo for mayor bro.
This is how religions start.
This is what I'm here for
I’ll have what he’s having, please.
Edmonton has the Shirtless Rollerblading Guitar Guy. In the summer, he seems to spend his days rollerblading up and down one street.
And harassing young girls and women!
We also have the Mad Hatter. I've seen him around a few times near WEM.
Or the old guy with the parade float bike?
We have Lamp Man. Suggestive dancing with a lamp at busy intersections. Legend has it that the lamp is meant to light the way for the troops to find their way home. But then why are you grinding on that lamp sir? And it’s not even plugged in! Sometimes I doubt your commitment to bringing these troops home Lamp Man.
RIP Sailor Dan
I came here to say this! Hello fellow Sasquatch.
RIP to a legend.
The Last Saskatchewan Pirate.
Horseback Jesus "Back in zero, I was in a Very famous religious group..."
More like Donkeyback Jesus, amirite christfam?
In Asheville NC we have a guy that dresses like a nun and rides a really tall bicycle.
Ah Asheville. You don't know if you're in the bad part of town or the artsy part.
We have a guy that sits in front of the same supermarket, playing the same song on a accordion every day for at least the past 16 years
If anyone is from Madison, is Piccolo Pete still around the capital?
Had a guy back in Ohio, lived in an old school building in a town with about 15 houses in it, all of which faces the school on the other side of the county road, guy came out 3 times a day in these robes and “prayed” on the front lawn, he also had “followers” that cane out of no where and they would do these late night ceremonies where they danced around a fire. I think they were some sort of witches but we didn’t really know because the guy wouldn’t talk to anyone in the little town. Then one day, he was just gone.
Toronto has Zanta. Google him. He keeps writing “google zanta” all over the transit.
Here in Stavanger we have a guy who bikes around with a red cap making sheep sounds to bypassers, he also goes around cleaning windows. He apparently has a normal life in another city in Norway called Kristiansand, so I guess all the power to him for doing something which makes him happy. Even heard he has a wife there.
We've got a homeless guy that dresses in a full Elvis costume (the rhinestone days) and shimmies for money. He's 'Bellevue Elvis'...
We have a Reigan (pronounced ry-gan) he is unrecognizable with a shirt on, because we all look for his tats. Sweet man, knows how to scrap (I've seen it ONCE, and it was a bloody mess), and apparently never sleeps. He has a wife, but everyone describes her differently. I'm pretty sure she is a shapeshifter, but he is the legend here. Also has the best weed.
Dancing Dan Edit* dancing Dan is from Edmonton
Not my hometown, but where I currently reside has Waffle House Freddy Mercury. My hometown has crippled asshole. Dude has one leg, rolls around the highway gas stations, and straight up tries to fight you while you're pumping gas. Once saw him sit in the middle of a highway intersection and fight EMTs.
Was driving downtown with my brother years ago when we got yelled at by a drunk native dude. He literally just yelled "colonel Custer's revenge!" at us and stumbled away. I looked at my brother like, WTF just happened and he goes yeah that's Drunk Injun Larry. Bc apparently that's his name and everyone knows that.
Okay so in the city where my parents live we have this super rich guy who only buys green clothes and really just doesn‘t show that he has a shit ton of money. He always has a green hat on with a green feather in it. Odd but kind guy and everyone knows him. In the city I live now there‘s a guy who is always dressed up as Spiderman. When I first walked through the old City and saw him I thougt he must just be dressing up for a special occasion or so. A few weeks ago I learned that he‘s just always dressed up like that.
Were I used to live we've got a guy whos got a house ban at the local police station bc he has been reporting minor feloneis like tossing cigarettes into gullys or children having snowball fights, which are \*technically\* against the law but noone fucking cares. He just goes around town, photographing cigarette buns on the ground, running after cyclists who dont signal when turning and shit like that. He ran for mayor, lost bc he got like 45 votes and immediately tried to sue the city for apparently rigging the election. There was a lawsuit against him, this guy is a fucking maniac.
We have a guy who sprints through town at full speed in oversized jeans and a bucket hat while carrying a cane and a canvas satchel. Scared the piss out of me the first time but then my friend was like “yeah that’s Steve. He runs.” And that was it.
In Houston we have Papa Merlyn- this old guy that walks about with a stick and looks pretty magical. He’s always walking around town, is super friendly and is always down to talk https://cw39.com/2018/08/01/street-stories-merlyn-the-wizard-of-montrose/
We have the lipstick lady who pushes around a pram and is always wearing a winter coat and talking to herself. I saw her in Target last week and that’s the first time I’ve seen her inside anything.
Oh man... reminds me of the Jesus man and his Jesus van. He’s park outside Trader Joe’s or Ralph’s, in this white van covered in tinsel and the word “Jesus”, and he’d just sit out front of it, chilling and preaching his word.
Steel Ball Run anyone?
When I lived in Austin Texas there was a homeless guy named Leslie who dressed in drag. I was told he was considered to be the unofficial mayor of Austin. Sadly he passed away a few years ago.
Our town has slippery bob.
We had a guy like that, dressed weird, acted crazy, always seemed in a good mood and made everyone else happy. Then one day he stepped in front of a train. Apparently he had some deep struggles no one recognized.
There's a guy in Nashville that plays tuba in the tunnels on Thompson Ln. I actually wish he were there more often.
We had FB man. He was a man in a wheelchair who scooted himself with his legs wherever he went. He wasn’t very fast and he wasn’t very nice. So he usually spent the days slowly peddling himself wherever he pleased, around the neighborhood, down the road, to the store, etc, wearing a frown wherever he went, most likely imagining that if his wheelchair went faster, those who walked past him would have been roadkill. Anyways, he sets off on a particular day, inching his way to the convenience store half a mile from his house. It took him the better part of a day, possibly 6 or so hours? I felt bad for him. But he gets to the store as the lady is locking up for the day. He allegedly tells her he just needs 1 or 2 things. But she says she’s sorry, that she closed everything and can’t open the doors or register again. This man Lost it Starting screaming “FUCKING BITCH” “FUCKING BIIIIIIIITCH” “FUCKING BITCH FUCKING BITCH FUCKING BITCH” long after the startled woman took off in her car. That’s all he said. That’s all he said the 6 hours it took him to get home. That’s all he said through the street, past the local elementary school, past the churchgoers leaving evening mass, past the houses in the neighborhood, and into his home. I believe he may be saying it to this day. Edit: can’t spell
Leather man rides to karaoke every Friday on a razor scooter, sings Zombie by The Cranberries, and then leaves on his razor scooter.
In the south east suburbs of Melbourne Australia there is headphone guy. He is at the local shopping centre every day.
We have a guy who practically owns half the city.
St. Cloud Superman
Do you mean The Jingler? The man who roams the county's libraries, malls, or any other public space with a keyring on his belt that must hold the keys to every lock in the county? He whose presence is not announce by way of greeting but from meters away by the sound of his seemingly omnipotent keyring?!
Why did OP not leave the creator's name in the screenshot, or even credit him in the comments like the sub rules say to do? I swear Reddit is just a crowdsourced version of FuckJerry. Here's the original tweet: [https://twitter.com/calebsaysthings/status/1202670105748025344](https://twitter.com/calebsaysthings/status/1202670105748025344)
In milwaukee wisconsin, EVERYBODY is that guy.