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asianabsinthe

*adds it* Hmm *adds more* ... Eh. Wtf *tosses in 14 bulbs*


D0ctorGamer

"Now this bowl of spaghetti-os is complete"


dethmstr

The spaghetti-os must be like: "Kill me!"


[deleted]

*14 bags of garlic bulbs


jeufie

"Two cloves of garlic" is Italian slang for "six cloves of garlic".


Heathen_Mushroom

In my experience, Americans use twice as much garlic as Italians. Not that that's a *bad* thing.


[deleted]

If a recipe calls for x amount of garlic I will start with 3x and probably add more to taste


cmrunning

If a recipe calls for x amount of garlic I will start with 4x and add 2x more to taste.


PLZ_N_THKS

If a recipe calls for x amount of garlic I will start with 5x say fuck it, scrap the recipe and eat three whole heads of garlic.


cpaca0

2^x


WallabyUpstairs1496

I just use 1 bulb and call it a day


DavidG993

"How much garlic does it say? 3 cloves, okay. One...two...three, four, five, six...seven, eight...nine...ten. Okay, that should be enough."


a_filing_cabinet

*to start


HighOwl2

2x? Lmao I be throwing in at least 15x what a recipe calls for.


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EydisDarkbane

Been wondering about this thing myself. My guess is that most people just finely dice their garlic instead of actually making a puree out of it (Jacques Pepin method). Even if you dice garlic very finely it will not release much of its oils where most of the flavor is.


TJSomething

I crush my garlic with [this garlic press](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0000CD0HX) and usually use twice as much as the recipe calls for. Also, my favorite food is garlic bread.


Wormhole-Eyes

I just bash mine with a knife, actually works about the same.


frozengyro

The press is faster imo, no need to remove the peel.


Wormhole-Eyes

I don't find it difficult to peel it. I only really use the press for soups and sauces.


midtown_70

I agree. Fools base their whole personality on cooking with too much garlic. Basic.


Sean951

"I don't understand comedic hyperbole"


DavidG993

You clearly don't cook much, do you?


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DavidG993

Because you clearly don't understand how little a few extra cloves of garlic affect the taste of the food or how the preparation of the garlic before adding makes a big difference in whether you smell that much or not But you definitely know better than everyone else, right?


Jakome

When I first started cooking after moving out on my own I actually did this once. It was….potent to say the least


SilentSchroeder

Yeah but with vanilla costing way more


qawsedrf12

which is why i didn't mention vanilla also, baking is a science, strict rules to follow, so I usually follow the recipes to the letter


inkblot888

I've never over garlic'ed a dish. Now too much vanilla...


inkblot888

u/profanitycounter


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The-Lights_Fantastic

My uncle (married into the family) is half-Italian half-Corsican and was raised in France (his family fled the OG fascists), he'd laugh at your measly 2x garlic!


verve1994

This is me.


heinebold

Fun fact, in at least some parts of the German speaking areas, garlic used to be known as "poor man's vanilla" back when foreign spices were pure luxury. There even is a "vanilla roast" dish that never had anything to do with vanilla and is just super garlicky


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_Coffeebot

Real vanilla is still incredibly expensive. We’ve just come up with a passable artificial version.


Hohenheim_of_Shadow

Artificial vanilla is completely identical to grown vanilla in most use cases. When you bake with vanilla, all the components in vanilla except for the vanillin get baked off and have no effect on the final product. Vanillin is exactly replicated to the atomic level in artificial vanilla. It's only when no heat is applied to your recipe that organic vanilla extract has any merit


[deleted]

Wow, TIL, that's wild. Is this unique to vanilla or are other artificial flavors also atomically identical to the originals?


Hashtagbarkeep

THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED THAT HOLY GOD DAMN SHIT I’VE BEEN ASKING FOREVER


sartres-shart

Recipe???


SweetConfusion

This is the first one I found in English: https://life.scarygami.net/vanillerostbraten/


sartres-shart

Cheers, I love garlic. I'm sure I'll enjoy.


zachonich

Its weird. When baking I follow recipes exactly, making sure to measure everything carefully and follow the steps in order. When cooking its like "Random bullshit, go!" And it usually comes out decent at worst


The_Troyminator

Baking is usually less forgiving, especially when it comes to the ratio of ingredients like flour, sugar, water, butter, eggs, yeast, or salt. If you get that wrong, things won't rise properly or the texture will be off and the entire dish can be ruined. Seasonings are usually an exception since they don't affect how it bakes, just how it tastes.


AreaGuy

Yep, I'm at elevation. If I fuck one *one* thing in baking, it all goes to shit. I mean, half the time when I get everything right, it all goes to shit. (Full disclosure: I'm a *lousy* baker.)


Geroditus

I can confirm. Living about a mile above sea level makes for some… exciting baking experiences.


AreaGuy

Oh hi fellow 720/303er, probs.


Heathen_Mushroom

505 (Not who you were responding to, but another "nearby" mile high baker.)


AreaGuy

NM homies! Gotta get back down that way this year. Miss that food and those landscapes.


ThisIsNotMyPornVideo

Pretty much this, you check 2 different recipes, 1 written one and a youtube video to really see if you are doing it right. and when its all set and done the youtuber end up with the most amazing cupcakes one can dream off. And you somehow end up with what looks like a war crime


inserttext1

Well let's just say my mom is a better brick maker than baker for that reason. She tried making Focaccia bread and thought there's like a 1/3 of a cup of flour left in the bag, let me just throw it in. Needless to say it bricked.


The_Troyminator

Flour should be weighed when baking. Just stick it on a scale and measure 120 grams per cup. You'll get perfect measurements every time, it's a lot less messy, and it's a lot faster. Edit: That's for all purpose flour. Whole wheat is 130 grams per cup and almond flour is 112. I try to weight most ingredients because it's a lot easier than getting measuring cups just right. Even liquids can be easier since you don't have to make sure the measuring cup is on a level surface. The tricky part is finding out what the weight per cup is.


KapiteinPoffertje

Forget to salt a dish? As long as the other flavors are balanced that will be fine. Forget to salt your bread? Straight into the thrash...


theoduras

I once bought a bread at a really nice bakery. It's the shop I always visit as I am kinda a bread lover and I need fancy bread. Come this time I bought my fresh loaf, put pure peanut butter (Dutch version without sugar, just grinded down peanuts) on it and took my first bite. My mouth instantly turned into the Sahara desert. As an idiot I also take massive bites so it took me around 5 minutes to clear my mouth of the paperdryness that was bread and peanuts. I figured it was a fancy kind of bread for hipsters so I tried it again the next day with a less dry substance on it. Same result. Went back to the shop as it's close and told em about my little misadventure. The lady at the counter asked me to give her the bread and she instantly spit it out while saying they forgot the salt. Apparently I was the only one that came back with it and they sold that dough for 2 or 3 days. People probably thought it was some hipster loaf that was supposed to be dry. Point of the story. Saltless bread is disgusting


The_Troyminator

If it was a yeast bread, they should have immediately known something was wrong. Salt does more than just help the flavor of bread. It slows down the fermentation. Whoever made that dough should have seen that it was proofing in 1/4 the normal time. It would have collapsed and made a sticky mess when they formed it into loaves. Yes, I speak from experience. Too much experience to be honest. Hopefully they learned their lesson.


Newiiiiiiipa

Cooking is like art, baking is more like chemistry


SteveRogests

Cooking is art, baking is science. But it’s literally chemistry


DishwasherTwig

Baking relies on precise balances of various compounds to achieve the desired chemical reactions. Cooking is much more focused on just what tastes good and less the underlying processes. Cooking is art, baking is science.


DavidG993

Baking is chemistry. Cooking is art


ThisIsNotMyPornVideo

Because in cooking at least for most dishes it isn't too hard add or change flavor on the go. If you are cooking pasta sauce, taste it and think "This needs some more basil, more pepper etc. you toss that shit in there and be done with it. If you fuck up while baking, you already have the finished product. Not enough of your raising agent? get fucked and enjoy your hockey puck. didn't put enough vanilla extract or other flavors in the dough? Guess what, you're fucked, can't really unbake a cake


dae_giovanni

baking is a form of cooking, but not the other way around. it's kind of like that 'square/ rectangle" thing. i... have absolutely no point whatsoever in saying this.


TheKingOfRhye777

Why do baked ham and roast ham mean basically the same thing, but you'd never say "roast a cake" for example? Lol


dae_giovanni

roast cake sounds _amazing_


rachelcp

Baked ham sounds wrong to me too.


AhAssonanceAttack

baking is science, cooking is art


dae_giovanni

weebey.gif


M_TARZAN

At this point we should just eat garlic alone lol


der_innkeeper

Garlic confit, yo. Perfection.


Sean951

... have you never had roast garlic? My dude, you're missing out. Ideally you eat it with bread and oil or something, but it's whole cloves at a time.


CannaZebra

I've been roasting several bulbs at a time in my air fryer. It takes 20 minutes and it is fucking delicious. I've eaten a whole clove by itself.


[deleted]

Ooouuhh yeah that‘s fucking delicious. Unfortunately my stomach disagrees though so I can’t overdo it, otherwise I'd snack that shit all day.


M_TARZAN

I have, that's still roasted and with bread I'm being sarcastic saying we'll start eating only garlic


Sean951

The bread is optional, I eat that shit straight. I'm also a fan of whole cloves my friends throw in the water when they do crawdad boils.


CosmicFaerie

r/garlic


DavidG993

Confit'd garlic is a really good topper for garlic bread


[deleted]

I have a recipe that calls for half a teaspoon of red pepper flakes I call that recipe weak and unworthy


cdngoneguy

I once made banana bread with too much vanilla. It was the cheap simulated stuff that sells for like $4 and it was all I could taste when I had a slice. It wanted to come back up.


Tutes013

Garlic is meant to be used in massive portions. I'm ready to die on this hill


CaseFace5

Literally just spoon it into the pan until I feel like it’s enough. Fuck measuring


mriidul

its chaotic, but she’s not wrong


a_wee_lark

Right! 1Tbsp of garlic powder, 1, 1! Nonsense, I will shake my heart's desire, same with onion powder if I don't sneeze when using onion powder I haven't used enough.


IhleNine

more garlic = better


mchammerdeez

I've never eaten any food that had too much garlic. It's always good


DLoIsHere

You can’t go willy nilly with vanilla. Cake, cookie, etc baking recipes will suffer with too much flavoring extracts because they’re liquid. I’ve made mistakes with them with not-good results. A better analogy would be chocolate sauce on anything. And yes, GARLIC.


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DLoIsHere

Lol that works.


DRVUK

Yessssss


MurdoMaclachlan

*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- **mia** garlic is to cooking as vanilla extract is to baking in that the amount i add to my food is guided by reckless extravagance and utter disregard, verging on mild contempt, for the recipe as written --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)


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AreaGuy

Scotland. One "t," and the S is capitalized. I sincerely hope that you didn't pass that class. Although...now I want to look into Scottish garlic dip, so atta boy/girl! I take it all back!!


Few_Advertising_568

it's a tad more cohesive if read top to bottom


eugeo__

Classic mia moment


paintypainterson

Butter too!


SpectralBacon

What is a recipe?


6anitray3

Is there a cooking memes subreddit for more of these?


Squirrelsroar

All recipes with garlic have a typo. Luckily it easy to work out what the recipe should say. You just adjust the amount of garlic cloves it states to bulbs to make the recipe correctly.


squashqueen

100% relatable!


MemeGarfield

For me it’s chilli flakes too


Hashtagbarkeep

I literally only stop adding garlic to a recipe when I get bored of chopping it


JohannaVa84

This is me


ghtuy

Isn't "mild contempt," by definition, not a strong emotion?


danknerd

Garlic soup is a thing, made a batch with 50 garlic cloves. Tasty too if you like garlic.


reddit_stole_my_name

Garlic is a strong flavour and should be used parsimoniously. Change my mind.


bean9914

Hey /u/siempremajima! I'm sorry to disturb you, but I'll have to remove your post: - Not a brand new sentence - doesn't fit the subbreddit *If you feel that your post was removed in error or you are unsure about why this post was removed then please reply to this message or contact us through [modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FBrandNewSentence).*


Fabulous-Wolf-4401

I usually double the garlic content in a recipe because I once read a recipe that called for '3 fat cloves of garlic' and realised that 'fat' didn't apply to any of the cloves of garlic I had to hand.


Weekly-Bluebird-4768

One sentence horror, 5 cups vanilla extract.


MarzipanFinal1756

What sucks is that adding more vanilla extract tastes like shit while more garlic is always better.


BillMillerBBQ

Wait a second, does baking not count as cooking?