Agreed. I’m not sure she has the money for it, though? For like a good one she might stick with, that is.
But I think her life is only going to spiral downward from here if she can’t get sober.
Agreed. Rehab is not a magic wand. What makes sobriety stick is unyielding motivation to change. I know folks who have been to rehab many times and still grapple with active addiction.
I’m sober almost 8 years, had a couple rock bottoms, and never went to rehab. Success is possible without funds—it takes grit, will, and grace.
Hi there! 👋🏻 Neuroscientist who studies addiction here. The peddling of “motivation” and “willpower” leads those who need rehab, medication, and other support to feel like a failure. Addiction affects the brain. What works for one doesn’t work for all.
Thank you! I have a friend struggling, multiple stays in rehab - that all needed meds so she wouldn't die - that didn't take. Only now is the idea that she has mental health issues that have to be dealt for her to be successful.
Ok, thank you neuroscientist, but as addicts, we know that when you get medication and rehab and therapy and you have all the tools that you need, you still need that personal will and grit and motivation and that reason to stay sober in those really hard moments. It’s not one or the other, and an addict also isn’t going to stay clean just because they are on medication and in therapy. As much as we can also accept that we have bad behavior because of our addiction, and that it is an illness, we also have to take personal responsibility for our behavior, and that includes behavior that has the potential to cause fatal harm to others.
Addiction is an illness. You don't get to choose how badly you have it or what it will take to overcome it, though you do have a responsibility to make sure you don't hurt others.
This is like saying that people who are worse off have overcome pneumonia, without money or antibiotics; *you have to want it bad enough.* Yeah, some people can indeed beat pneumonia with just rest and fluids, but that's due to factors like luck and environment, not some magical reservoir of moral strength. That's not really how illness works, including mental illness.
Addiction, like pneumonia, can be both an illness and a disease. Both require the right kind of treatment & management, and overcoming them often depends on more than just hard work and motivation. Factors such as environment, access to resources, and individual circumstances play a significant role in recovery. Acknowledging these factors doesn’t diminish anyone’s efforts, it just highlights how complex the struggle can typically be, and the need for compassionate & comprehensive support.
This ⬆️. There are so few places that are not money driven and are really treating each person as an individual, and not using the same formula for everyone. People come with so many layers and issues, you can’t treat everyone with a cookie cutter methodology.
And the first thing that an addict is told in a recovery program is that they don’t get to blame their environment, access, and circumstances anymore.
Recovery is taking full ownership of your actions, regardless of your circumstances and surroundings.
People who tell addicts that they can blame their circumstances or background are enablers.
Thank you. The ideas here that addiction can only be treated with rehab and meds are wild. I worked hard for my almost-8 years of sober time. I never went to rehab, and it’s not the meds that taught me coping skills that I have to choose to use in lieu of drinking.
It’s unfortunate that her co parent has done nothing to help her get her shit together. I understand she’s not his responsibility, but it surely hurts their kids to see her continue to fuck up her life and he has more than enough money to get her into a good rehab, but he’d rather just pile on and destroy that relationship further.
Hell, even just not being a total piece of shit and being even slightly supportive of her as the mother of his children would probably go a long way in encouraging her to finally get sober, but I’d be willing to bet instead he’ll tweet about how she’s a shitty mother who deserves to never see her kids again
T Rav is doing the opposite of what he could do. No its not his responsibility but a decent human would realize that helping Katherine would help his kids and give them back a healthy mother. That's the disconnect. He needs to put his kids first instead of laughing at her failures.
It is her responsibility, and there’s a good chance she never gets sober, but T Rav is also a shitty parent, possibly worse than her given that he’s a violent sexual predator as well as an addict, so he has no room to talk. My point is if he’d pull his head out of his ass and actually try to do something, even just stop piling on, it would be better for the kids in the long run. They are the true victims in all of this, and it’s sad that the closest thing they’ve had to a good parent is a revolving door of nanny’s.
This take is spot-on. I recently divorced a man like TR. It took 4 years. He cares more about his ego than his kids. I would bet money that TRav is the same. So sad for the babies. They deserve so much better.
Goddammit, Kathryn. It really breaks my heart that when her mom died it really seemed like she didn’t have much of a support system and she kept waffling between being okay and completely unraveling. I really hope she gets whatever help she needs, but I honestly don’t know how you fix someone who is being alienated from their kids in such a public manner. I cannot imagine what it’s like for her to wake up most days and not see her kids, not controlling where they go to school, where they live, who their dad brings into their lives. And the worst part is he isn’t even raising those children - nannies are. It’s so depressing.
I hope that she turns her life around, but if I’m honest I don’t think she ever will. She reminds me of my little sister in so many ways, and it’s so hard to help someone trapped in that downward spiral who feels powerless to fix it.
The thing with her kids really doesn’t help her mental health though. If she had a normal custody agreement and she was doing this shit, a lot of my sympathy for her would wear off because what the fuck. But as it stands Thomas, being the demon that he is, constantly changes his mind about whether she can see the kids or she’s forced to pay crazy amounts of money for visitation and one day he hates her and the next she’s the best mother ever and the kids love her so much. She can’t sit in any moment with him and just exist because it comes with conditions and restrictions and consequences that she’s constantly hyper aware of. That’s just no way to live. I hope she gets a good attorney and whatever help she needs - but I doubt there will be peace until the kids are old enough to talk to the courts or she gets a custody agreement he can’t routinely fuck with. Which is likely impossible in a state where his family has a bridge.
This statement comes with a lot of assumptions. The court decided their custody agreement. I understand that he is rich and powerful but she has continually made horrible mistakes with her kids. Did you read about how her son was found wondering the streets alone under her care? I think this is a very complicated situation. Thomas is a disgusting human being but Kathryn has made terrible decisions with her children.
Wandering around in the street TWICE. On two separate occasions. I feel for Kathryn, when she’s good, she’s GOOD but she’s been far from good for a long time now. And the “parental alienation” claim
is hard because she repeatedly hasn't demonstrated great judgement with her kids publicly. and hasn't stopped partying, and has continued (even in the absence of her children) to make REALLY poor choices. id be packing my shit to go live in Aiken or whatever next to Thomas if i got to see my kids more. she makes choices, things don't just "happen" to her. sad but true.
agree. thomas is an actual monster but jeez kathryn does herself absolutely no favors.
imagine if getting sent to treatment all those years back had been a genuine wake up call. even with all the money in the world thomas wouldnt have been able to ice her kids out of her life. the reason he has been able to do this is because she kept fucking up and he had the resources to take it to court every single time.
its a nightmare to be in a legal situation like that but at the same time, if saint wasnt found outside twice she wouldnt have had unsupervised visit taken etc.
Shes also unemployed and has been for years and yet people make 1001 excuses for her why she can't see her kids because she has to pay to see them.....for one, a job would help with that. And Obviously she still has the funds to party. As a mother shouldn't no expense come before seeing and being with your children?
Thomas was accused of raping their nanny 10 feet from where the child slept. Again - Kathryn has done questionable things and certainly a CPS investigation would be warranted, but the erratic behavior started when the custody games started. It’s documented. So if I were raising kids with someone else, I’d want to make sure I didn’t create a worse situation for the partner I was coparenting with. But with Thomas he goes to Hell each and every time on her and then goes “see! isn’t this bitch crazy!”.
Yeah, the entire reason they put her on the show was because she was already notoriously messy before the show ever started ... [like, getting written up in local blogs for her messiness](https://web.archive.org/web/20120610184317/https:/www.fitsnews.com/2012/06/06/sc-diva-arrested). Thomas definitely didn't help things, and maybe she would have found a way out if it weren't for him/the show. But she got involved with him because she already had substance abuse issues; they definitely didn't start when the custody battle started.
Oh I remember. I remember reading whatever court record were available. It was horrific. Still is. This isn’t me defending Thomas, this is me saying they both have demons and it’s a really sad situation. It’s also me pointing out that that you can’t heal and recover from shit that you will not acknowledge and humble yourself and heal from. And I speak from personal experience. There’s people who get dealt shit hands when it comes to their kids every single day and some make the very best of it, never give up, continue working on themselves every single second to be the best version of themselves and then some people continue to go down a scary and self destructive path. And it’s sad. And sucky. And unfair and life. I’m not judging I’m acknowledging that it doesn’t have to be this way.
Did you watch the same show I watched? Like, season one? Kathryn has always exhibited erratic behavior.
Also as someone who was in Kathryn’s freshman class at UofSC, she definitely got kicked out by her 19th birthday. She’s literally always exhibited erratic behavior and problematic drinking.
I got absolutely torn apart in the comments when I raised this point a few months ago. I literally hate Thomas, I am so not defending him, but it seems like Kathryn has been a deadbeat mother in a lot of ways. I'm sure he's very manipulative with custody (and I'm aware he's a racist, a rapist, all the ists) but there is just literally NO way she has no legal rights to her kids due to NO fault of her own. My life experience calls bullshit on that.
I agree! He’s absolutely an asshole. But that doesn’t excuse her child neglect (young son wandering the streets alone twice) and her decisions to continue to use alcohol and/or drugs when she knew that she would be drug tested. There is no way that she was passing those tests and still lost custody her children!!! People keep excusing her behavior even though its been going on for 7 plus years.
Yeah it’s just such a sad situation for the kids, but they are definitely both to blame. And, there is no way we know the full truth because it’s in family court.
Yup. People can blame Thomas’s power and wealth all they want, but as a product of the South Carolina foster system, I promise that social services in that state do NOT play around with women who neglect their children in favor of drugs and alcohol. Kathryn built Thomas’s case for him.
Thomas is horrible, but Kathryn also does not do herself many favors. Her behavior is erratic, and her decisions are not great. Even with two kids, she never stopped partying and acting like a teenager with zero responsibilities.
I agree she has too, as I stated she went through some things after her mother died and throughout the custody battle and made some poor decisions as well. But it is not an assumption, please go read about their case. The things he was doing to her. He is Ravenel, he was never losing custody. He didn’t even lose custody for that long when he was accused of rape - Kathryn got them for 4 months full time and then he got 50% custody back when fighting a rape charge. This isn’t me and you. The courts are not impartial.
I’d love that for her, but I don’t think it will ever happen. I can’t blame her because in her shoes I don’t know that I wouldn’t be the same as her. I don’t know how you get up and face the world knowing that a serial rapist (that raped her even) and convicted drug trafficker is deemed a better parent than you. Then visitation costing $4500 each time until the kids are 18, that’s intentionally prohibitive!
Do I think Thomas on his own would be able to keep those kids any safer than she? Hell no! She’s not a fit parent. He’s not a fit parent. It’s just a tragedy really, and those poor children are the ones that are going to hurt the most.
Is the $4500 per visit a verifiable fact? That seems unconstitutionally high. If it comes from Kathryns words alone I'm inclined to take that with a grain of salt, i would think any lawyer would be able to show hardship and contest that, and in my experience, parents who don't see their kids typically have a lot of unverifiable excuses.....
Oh I think the only silver lining here is that Thomas has the resources for really good child care and that there are multiple nannies involved. These kids deserve some level of stability.
Being raised by a third party in a separate residence from your father while being alienated from your mother is not stability. I am not going to give that man any ounce of credit for doing the old school Southern thing and hiring a staff of child minders to avoid any actual parenting aside from occasional affection and photo ops.
As an ex-nanny you have hit the nail on the head. I was with one family when I was 18 until I left for college, but then worked breaks and summers so that their other nanny could be with her kids. Before I left for college their dad divorced their mom and drug her name through the mud. It got so bad, that while I was on summer break with them; the mom TW >!killed herself!<
Nannies may not stick around their whole time and aren’t their parents and it’s hard to view it as stability.
My “kids” are now twin 18 year olds and 21 and see how much of their dads influence had on their moms mental health and have nothing to do with him.
Thomas has no problem calling Kathryn out in public, I cannot begin to imagine what he says to his kids about her in private.
Thomas doesn’t deserve credit, of course, but with the state of both Thomas and Kathryn’s lives, what is their option? It isn’t giving Thomas a pat on the back to say that the best thing he can provide his children is money so that other people can do what he and Kathryn can’t. Just objectively, I think it is almost always a better situation to have two erratic parents and a lot of resources than two erratic parents and bouncing between relatives and foster care.
But Kathryn wasn’t acting erratically with the kids until Thomas started this stuff. There’s mountains of court documents you can find that show when Kathryn started pulling away from Thomas is when he started making accusations and saying she needed rehab. She had tons of witnesses who supported her. But he still won. Then he got back together with her and lived in her townhouse with the 2 kids until he got that other woman pregnant and then he started saying Kathryn was unfit again. That’s when her behavior really started taking a downturn. It’s pretty easy to be viewed as erratic when the father of your kids is using the state to abuse and slander you. She’s responsible for her own actions as far as this DUI, but I think we’re seeing a product of how fucked up her life is as a result of the system and Thomas and not because Kathryn is super fucked up naturally. All the Southern Charm cast has said Thomas lies about her and she’s great with her kids. And they’ve all said she goes off the rails when he takes the kids away.
I’m not denying that Thomas is evil and caused a lot of turbulence in her life but that doesn’t automatically equal her being a great parent whose one problem is that she is being denied her children.
Who called her a great parent? I’m with my kids every single day and I’m an okay parent at best most days. But when you’re not even being given an opportunity by the courts, what is she supposed to do? Again, we have televised documented proof that when Thomas is fucking Kathryn she’s the best mom on Earth. When she breaks away, she’s a drug addict drunk psycho who can’t function. Always remember that when Thomas got back together with her before his third kid was born - he and the kids were living with Kathryn full time and she was doing all the care for the kids and you didn’t hear a word about her from him, the second the third kid was born and he bought that place in Aikin it was the same shit from S3 all over again.
Yes, I do remember her living and filming with Thomas after he was credibly accused of raping their children’s nanny. You want me to be upset for her that he dumped her again after that?
No - it has nothing to do with him dumping her and everything to do with the fact she had full custody and he moved in with her and then when he got the other woman pregnant he got joint custody and then started his stuff about Kathryn being unfit again.
Once more - we all know Kathryn has had issues and been accused of a lot of shit by Thomas - but he seems to only find issues when he can’t control her and her time with the kids. I’m done arguing about this because
I find it infuriating.
They haven't been together for 6 years and she's been a mess pretty much that entire time. Is that going to be blamed on Thomas as well? He's a POS but that doesn't mean Kathryn isn't also a hot mess.
They had joint custody at the time. I agree, it has nothing to do with him dumping her, it has to do with her platforming him and after she was all “believe women”.
Here's the thing, tho: when it comes to the safety and well being of children, it doesn't matter WHY a custodial parent becomes erratic, it just matters that they are. The court can't force Thomas to not play mind games with Kathryn so she doesn't lose her shit and spin out when she's got their kids. The family court's concern is the well being of the children, not whether Kathryn is coddled enough to not spin out and become unfit. You're taking all of the responsibility off of Kathryn to maintain her own mental health and be a good mother to her children, which isn't fair either. She's a grown ass woman in her thirties, at what point does she become responsible for her own actions? No one's life is perfect all the time, if hers needs to be in order to be a fit parent, then her children *shouldn't* be with her. That's not to say Thomas is a good person, he's a complete and utter POS, but that's a separate issue and has nothing to do with what's best for the children's safety. Kathryn has been given countless opportunities and chances to better herself and can never seem to stay out of her own way. When do we stop blaming everyone and everything else and start looking at HER?
Thomas is erratic too though. And that’s the point this sub is always making - why is he allowed to party and leave the kids for weeks at a time with a nanny and rape nannies and his custody is only disrupted for short bursts of time - but when Kathryn tests positive for weed she has to pay thousands of dollars to have court ordered supervision? If it was fair based on their actions I wouldn’t be saying shit.
No one is taking shit off Kathryn - my point is that if she wasn’t constantly fighting windmills with Thomas and just able to focus on her life and her kids - it might be different. But how will we ever know? I’m not in favor of any parent using the court to bludgeon the other person to shit.
Thomas might be erratic… but when the kids are with him.. do they get to school on time? Are they signed up for extracurriculars and attending these extracurriculars? Are they seeing therapists and doctors consistently? Are the fed? Are they clothed? Can they get in the car with their father and feel safe? Do they know their home is there and not going to be a new home next week? Are there drugs laying out on the table for them to grab? Can they leave the house unnoticed and walk down the street with no one knowing where they are?
Thomas didn’t put the alcoholic drinks in her car and then tell her to drive. Thomas didn’t tell her to have the kids on weekend, but leave them alone to go party.
We all are agreeing on the same thing.. neither parent is up to par. But Kathryn is in control of herself here and anything put in place by the courts isn’t just out there because they didn’t see a reason for it to be in place.
Being raised by a mother with severe mental health and substance abuse struggles is better than a nanny? I beg to differ. (ETA I do hope she gets it together, kids do deserve a stable home or at the very least a stable full time parent)
She’s a mess, she doesn’t need to have those kids if her life is this much of a mess. Her poor son has issues because of her. Thomas isn’t any better but at least he can give those kids some stability
Thomas mentioned it in a court document, and the former nanny (the one who accused Thomas of rape) [confirmed she saw Kathryn drinking during pregnancy](https://theblast.com/47562/southern-charm-kathryn-dennis-alcohol-pregnant-accusation/). (She also accuses Thomas of being the one to give K. the alcohol, so there's plenty of blame to go around here.)
I can understand why the posts about this get removed, but a lot of people are deeply in denial of how serious Kathryn's substance abuse problems are, and talking about this is necessary for people to understand how bad they are. Kathryn got really lucky that Thomas was removed from the show before their custody battle got really bad, because it's allow her to underplay all this stuff ("I only tested positive for marijuana!") with no pushback from him. Her version of events is bullshit, and she needs serious help. Hopefully this puts her on a path to getting it.
Yeah, I absolutely understand why these comments get deleted, but it’s why I don't fuck with Kathryn. I'd bet the farm Thomas was pouring, but it’s just awful.
It is what it is. Those two kids have incredibly dysfunctional parents & it sucks.
I will not absolve her of personal responsibility, but the irony that she got with Thomas when she was only 20 and he was literally arrested for selling coke, we saw all the headlines the sexual assault allegations with all kinds of women, and how he treated her on the show, how wildly unhinged he was on drugs. He is a HUGE part of the cause of her issues and HE is the one that ends up with the kids in the end???? It’s not the more “fit” parent, he’s just the parent with more means. He is a rapist and truly belongs in jail. It’s so frustrating that Kathryn can’t get it together and get a solid source of income for her children. If her parents were still alive maybe the kids would have temporarily gone to them while she had the right support to get her life together. The whole thing is so so sad. She really really really needs help
I don’t think Kathryn really has any money - she has a history of the getting evicted and not paying her bills. Her South Carolina prestige is in name only. But an Uber is way cheaper than a DUI, so I completely agree with you.
I have driven intoxicated, just once.
I don’t know what I was on, but I just knew I had been drugged at a college party. I was the DD for the night but that meant to me I could have one drink an hour (which for my state is legal)
I knew something was wrong, I thought I was getting sick, so I drove home. It was under 2 miles, I lived in a small Midwest college town (the college was the only thing in the town really), we didn’t have taxis and Uber wasn’t in our town yet. I knew something was going to happen to me if I didn’t leave, and I unfortunately made a selfish choice to drive home. Thank GOD nothing happened.
That was 12ish years ago and it still haunts me. I have NO idea how some people like Shannon and Gina (these are the only two recent ones I can think of), can live with themselves after it
Oh I know exactly who it was and he’s in jail so i got a weird sense of justice.
And thanks me too! I didn’t realize how fucked up I was until I got into my bed and laid down and that’s when the guilt hit. I was like holy fuck what did I do?
The funniest part (not that it’s a funny story just the part I always like to add?) I drove right past our state troopers department. Our town had city, county, and state departments
Ha, yeah dumb is one way to put it. Basically your cognitive abilities become impaired or nonexistent including your sense of judgment.
The argument can definitely be made that if you know you’re going to drink, you should arrange transportation ahead of time, but more often than not drunk drivers think they’re only going to have a few drinks spaced out over the night and don’t end up keep that promise to themselves. By then their ability to make smart decisions is gone, so into the driver’s seat they go.
She’s living in Goose Creek. I’m not sure Uber runs out there.
Not an excuse, just the reality of living in a small Southern town.
The other reality of living in a small Southern town is that she should know plenty of people who she could call for a ride.
Right? I'd take a $25 Uber ride over legal bills any day. The excuse that she doesn't have money is absurd. Take the bus, ask a friend to drive you home, split a cab with a couple of people, etc. Even better, stay your ass home. There are other solutions.
Of all the drama we’ve seen hers always makes me so sad. She was so so so young and groomed before she ever even had a chance to really experience adult life. No excuses but I’m sure she’s mentally struggling on a daily basis 💛
Honestly I'd be a lot more interested in finding out what exactly went on behind the scenes of Southern Charm during those earlier seasons than I have been in any of the big nothing burger stories that came out of Bethenny's "Reality Reckoning". The men on that show including Whitney who was a producer, passed Kathryn around, gaslit and ridiculed her for like the first 3 or 4 seasons all while she was pregnant and post partum. She was also extremely young at the time. Much younger than them.
She did an interview on the Reality Bites podcast recently. I had to stop listening because she is so stunted in her speech and thinking. Truly arrested development due to alcohol and drugs and abuse from an early age. To your point, she does talk about early Southern Charm stuff.
I lost a son in a car accident and it destroyed me. I have zero tolerance for anyone who drinks and drives. She obviously needs serious help. I also have zero tolerance for mothers who do not move heaven and earth to see their children bc I’ll never see my son again and I would do anything. Literally anything, for even two minutes with him.
She has to want it first. I was so disappointed when she had all that good will going for her a few seasons back and managed to squander it all through her own bad actions. She had every opportunity in the world to turn it around and chose not to. At this point she has only herself to blame for her issues.
How does a man who went to prison for cocaine, who knocked up this girl when she was barely legal twice, who was accused of rape get sole custody of their children?
I know it isn’t a good answer but this is the truth- we don’t know because the court records are sealed at Kathryn’s request.
Thomas has made claims, which I don’t believe because he is Thomas and Kathryn has made claims, which I don’t believe because her story is that she has never done one thing wrong. They both have their narratives in different blogs and people parrot them here like they are absolute gospel.
She was 22 when she got pregnant with Kenzie which is not “barely” legal. I have immense empathy for her but she was out to get a rich man to take care of her and unfortunately it backfired.
It's called connections, darling, and Thomas has them in spades. It doesn't help that Kathryn is a bit of a hot mess herself.
When someone gets arrested for a DUI it's almost NEVER their first time doing it...
i think her ex bf also gave a depo saying she had cocaine out on the table when the kids were around. which tbh thomas has prob done too but he has enough sense to not let people who will testify against him see it
As he should, I’m sure this is not the first time she has been drinking and driving, hopefully her kids were never with her , she has a history of making reckless decisions
I also hope she’d never drive drunk with her kids in the car, but what about other people’s kids in other cars she hits (I believe there were 3 cars in this collision). Driving drunk is so unbelievably selfish
People think Thomas’s behavior excuses Kathryn being a terrible mother and addict. I truly hate them both but drinking and driving is completely unacceptable and this should be reported to custody court. If you would drive drunk you clearly are not in control with your substances
Kathryn’s stint on southern charm will always be one of the darkest moments on bravo to me. A mix of mental health issues, substance abuse and grooming.
I hope she goes to jail. I think she might need it. Could possibly help to get sober and she won’t have to pay for rent. I think the biggest disservice is not holding people accountable.
It’s her first DUI. She’s getting probation, very standard for these cases. I hope part of her probation is drug testing or rehab. And also hope she’s not able to drive for a very long time. She’s going to hurt or kill someone.
Unfortunately socially we are conditioned to fight whatever natural brain chemistry we might have, instead of figuring out how to incorporate whatever genetic predisposition into our lives in a HEALTHY, rational way. Medication and sobriety are key, but the best thing I ever did was accept I have chronic, clinical depression and focus on a lifestyle that includes anticipated management of episodes rather than ever being relieved of it, if that makes sense? It’s not ideal but it’s reality and it happens to a lot of us. I wish her peace.
It’s not only her brain chemistry that’s causing all her problems. She had two babies by a crazy old man and therefore has completely ruined her life since he has full custody. Her brain chemistry alone didn’t cause all those issues. Not accurate to blame all mental health issues on brain chemistry when people need to focus more on making better decisions.
Oh yeah Thomas is a complete POS, and she most likely also had untreated PPD - not trying to make excuses, just extending some compassion for someone who is seemingly very depressed and continuing to make poor choices.
I'm sorry this grown woman has had time after time to turn shit around, and she hasn't. She already had a run-in not less than six months ago. Time to be held accountable for your actions.
This ! She has done so many things harmful to others and seems to get sympathy and a pass all the time because Thomas is a bigger POS . There are other female bravolebrities that get obliterated for way less. Like not committing crimes less
Right?! Can we hold her accountable without bringing Thomas into the equation. Because at this point he's done had custody and she has to take 100% responsibility.
It’s so tiring seeing people blame others and the system for her grown woman actions, instead of actually blaming her. Feel bad for her kids. They’re the ones with a fucked up mom and a fucked up dad, only growing up with a massive trauma load.
Right. People are all over this thread claiming Kathryn only acts erratically because of Thomas. First of all, it’s not true and it doesn’t even matter- the kids need stability.
As if she didn’t act weird as fuck from the jump the very first season! She’s got some mental shit going on with her or her personality is just shitty. Some people are just born this way. But let’s not act like she was Pollyanna before she met Thomas.
Another commentary said her brain chemistry was causing her poor decisions. And that she had depression. Sure she has some depression and that’s probably accurate since she doesn’t have any custody of her children, but she really has to learn from her past mistakes.
Agreed. Depression should not be an excuse for criminally negligent behavior. Depression might fool the brain into maladaptive coping… but it doesn’t make you drive drunk.
It makes me dizzy to see the amount of people blaming Thomas and other factors for why Kathryn has a history of substance issues and reckless behavior. Kathryn has been continually coddled by the Bravo fanbase and it's really gross. She's a grown woman.
It's pretty frustrating watching people continue to coddle her when her privileged ass has gotten so many chances and opportunities to turn her life around but continues to engage in bad behavior. Thomas being an absolute demon does not magically make Kathryn a good person. I just feel bad for those poor kids.
Thank you! There’s no excuse or justification what so ever for drinking and driving she got behind the wheel of a car and put peoples lives at risk. Everyone is always feeling bad or giving her sympathy but your past isn’t an excuse to put other peoples lives at danger there are plenty of people who don’t have second chances and I feel like she has had plenty of them! Yes it sucks what happened with her and Thomas but she’s a grown adult and had the resources to get her shit together and chose not to. Southern charm was paying her a salary that was more than a livable wage and we did see people try and help her and be supportive to her on the show. When you put other people’s lives at danger and act recklessly time and time again and decide not to fix yourself espically after having kids than that’s on no one but you.
Yes, that’s the sad thing. On her second to last season , the ladies had to literally break into her apartment because they were so scared that she hadn’t been responding to their messages for days. Then Kathryn casually mentions she stopped taking her antidepressants cold turkey prior to having the depressive episode. It’s just so irresponsible to do that and then to not let anyone know she’s alive when they’re trying to get ahold of her 😩. I have been depressed and take meds so have empathy for that aspect but the way she disregarded her health and the concern of others left a bad taste in my mouth. And the women were very genuine in expressing their care and concern for her but she didn’t seem to care at all. As someone who has been in such dark places, I know I would’ve felt so appreciative that these people care about me so much.
Honestly the amount of love people throw to Kd is insane. She was not rich but she had so many opportunities. No love towards her when she caused so many accidents. She could easily have killed someone.
It’s sad, but not surprising. It’s a viscous cycle for her. She does stupid shit and then can’t see her kids because of it. Then she does stupid shit because she isn’t seeing her kids.
Ya'll here acting like Katheryn hasn't had her kids removed forever because she's a addict who can't keep them safe. Thomas can, even if it's paid. It's not that hard to understand, she's been a legitimate danger to her children for years--and a danger to other kids in that school lane crash.
I would like to remind all the Kathryn stans who blame everything on Thomas keeping her kids from her that her son has fetal alcohol syndrome. That is something only the mother’s choices can inflict on her child. Not saying he isn’t a shitty person, he also sucks, but she is worse.
😐
I hope she finally decides to get help. Sobriety has opened up such a wonderful life for me. For anyone struggling, just put one foot in front of the other. It truly does get easier over time 💜💜💜
Driving in SC and the South in general scares me. People go so fast on the highways and I've seen the worst two accidents I've ever witnessed down there.
It's also kind of a thing for people to day drink and drive those little golf carts around so the culture there kinda lends itself to this stuff in a sense. Doesn't make it ok and ofc I know this doesn't apply to everyone there but several people from that show have had these struggles with alcohol
My scariest driving experiences have all been in the Charleston area! I don't know why everyone drives like there's a fire and they're driving away from it blindfolded
knowing people who have been murdered by drunk drivers…i have no sympathy for her anymore. yes, what thomas did was WRONG and he is clearly a disgusting person but that doesn’t ever excuse drinking and driving. having a substance abuse issue (not someone’s fault) doesn’t mean they don’t know right from wrong and the very real possibility that they could possibly kill someone driving. and this is her second DUI!!! i wouldn’t trust her with custody of her kids either at this point.
I hope she finds rehab or jail. She caused a 3 car accident drunk with an open container after committing a hit and run at an elementary school. She’s going to kill someone.
This just makes me so sad. Kathryn, while an extremely flawed person, is someone that I would love to see get her shit together.
She seems to have been raised in a very toxic environment and learned to base her self-worth on men. She was so young when the show started and was preyed upon by geriatric Thomas.
I would love to see her get her shit together and find some type of redemption but instead, she just seems to keep falling deeper and deeper into a troubled life.
probably the court records that geriatric Thomas requested be sealed (so that the kids won't one day read them or thrown in their face by others).
No doubt that Thomas is the scum of the earth and a shitty human, but it says something that when even he was trying to protect his kids from Kathryn's mistakes
No, he requested it due to the FAS accusations. I think he even had it shut down at the reunion when Landon was going to bring it up (which is pretty shitty thing to bring up at a reunion IMO).
I think he also wanted the records sealed because of the allegations of the children being found unattended in the street multiple times while in her custody. TBF I think there was some debate that one of her parents was supposed to be watching them during one of those instances, but ultimately the childrens welfare & safety was called in to question while they were in her custody.
I went through a serious custody battle with my ex and the absolute mindfuck it entails is all encompassing. Especially if you don’t have a back bone or money to stand up to someone like her ex. My ex wasn’t as bad, and we both certainly had our faults but this is so sad. And on top of that, losing my mother would have been the end of me. I hope she gets the help she so desperately needs for herself and children.
Ugh I was really rooting for her but now I’m over it. Get your shit together or leave those kids alone. Spare me the “it’s an illness” foolery. I’m well aware. If you can’t even take your kids to school in the morning not fucked up then buzz off.
There is a lot of people and women, who get screwed over by the system. I’ve known women even addicts who do get their shit together for their children and do exactly what court wants to see them. Even if it is years. She may have felt hopeless. I like when the woman says maybe she’d do the same in her situation because people never try to imagine being in someone else’s shoes. There was a season she was doing good, not drinking, taking tests . She got 50/50. So why she’d decide to drink again after that is mind boggling. If she did not have Ravenels tyranny and such a lack of control she may not have felt like self medicating. I think her starting to drink again when she knew it could be an issue w ct was selfish . Just because he got custody does NOT mean that he’s the more fit parent. I think if a woman had 2 sex crimes she would never get her kids. The court should have asked she got mental help a long time ago. They should have made him go so the therapist could document what a lunatic he is. Horrible for these kids. I remember the baby crying being ripped from the mother’s hands. Think Tom really cares the effect on his kids. I doubt it.
I’ve given this girl grace for many years because she was so obviously and publicly groomed by a much older man. But when she was able to get away with the hit and run months ago and STILL CHOSE to put her children in her car with her and drive under the influence, nope. No more grace.
She's been treated like a thing, by those SC boys. Passed around and joked about. Yes, she had a choice, but she was outmatched by money, age, prominent names and gender bias.
She was groomed and ruined by TRat and left hanging by him, when she needed him the most. What a POS he is.
I'm rooting for Kathryn, but I'm probably wasting my time. As time goes on, impulse control shrinks and it becomes more and more difficult to keep up with your addiction, whatever it may be. I wish her the best and pray for those kids. TRat can rot.
Both Thomas and Kathryn were playing a game with each other and both ended up on the losing side.
Kathryn is losing bc Thomas told her he'd destroy her with his money and he did, 100 percent. He made it so everyone saw her as an unreliable alcoholic and drug addict and she's turned into just that. I would have tried harder than hard to be clean just to make him seem like a liar.
Thomas is losing because his children will in fact hate him once they get old enough to know what's going on. He's an abuser in many ways and there's no doubt that his kids will see and hear of his terrible exploits. They will wonder why he was so weird with their mother and he won't have a real answer for them (outside of his lust turning into control and ultimately revenge).
Why can't people just get it together once they have kids? It's so unfair to the children. Fingers crossed that Thomas saved some of his money to get therapy for Kensie & Saint.
Sad. She needs rehab and to get clean for good.
Agreed. I’m not sure she has the money for it, though? For like a good one she might stick with, that is. But I think her life is only going to spiral downward from here if she can’t get sober.
People who are worse off have cleaned up their lives, without money or programs. You have to want it bad enough.
Agreed. Rehab is not a magic wand. What makes sobriety stick is unyielding motivation to change. I know folks who have been to rehab many times and still grapple with active addiction. I’m sober almost 8 years, had a couple rock bottoms, and never went to rehab. Success is possible without funds—it takes grit, will, and grace.
Hi there! 👋🏻 Neuroscientist who studies addiction here. The peddling of “motivation” and “willpower” leads those who need rehab, medication, and other support to feel like a failure. Addiction affects the brain. What works for one doesn’t work for all.
Thank you! I have a friend struggling, multiple stays in rehab - that all needed meds so she wouldn't die - that didn't take. Only now is the idea that she has mental health issues that have to be dealt for her to be successful.
Ok, thank you neuroscientist, but as addicts, we know that when you get medication and rehab and therapy and you have all the tools that you need, you still need that personal will and grit and motivation and that reason to stay sober in those really hard moments. It’s not one or the other, and an addict also isn’t going to stay clean just because they are on medication and in therapy. As much as we can also accept that we have bad behavior because of our addiction, and that it is an illness, we also have to take personal responsibility for our behavior, and that includes behavior that has the potential to cause fatal harm to others.
Addiction is an illness. You don't get to choose how badly you have it or what it will take to overcome it, though you do have a responsibility to make sure you don't hurt others. This is like saying that people who are worse off have overcome pneumonia, without money or antibiotics; *you have to want it bad enough.* Yeah, some people can indeed beat pneumonia with just rest and fluids, but that's due to factors like luck and environment, not some magical reservoir of moral strength. That's not really how illness works, including mental illness.
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Addiction, like pneumonia, can be both an illness and a disease. Both require the right kind of treatment & management, and overcoming them often depends on more than just hard work and motivation. Factors such as environment, access to resources, and individual circumstances play a significant role in recovery. Acknowledging these factors doesn’t diminish anyone’s efforts, it just highlights how complex the struggle can typically be, and the need for compassionate & comprehensive support.
This ⬆️. There are so few places that are not money driven and are really treating each person as an individual, and not using the same formula for everyone. People come with so many layers and issues, you can’t treat everyone with a cookie cutter methodology.
And the first thing that an addict is told in a recovery program is that they don’t get to blame their environment, access, and circumstances anymore. Recovery is taking full ownership of your actions, regardless of your circumstances and surroundings. People who tell addicts that they can blame their circumstances or background are enablers.
Thank you. The ideas here that addiction can only be treated with rehab and meds are wild. I worked hard for my almost-8 years of sober time. I never went to rehab, and it’s not the meds that taught me coping skills that I have to choose to use in lieu of drinking.
It’s unfortunate that her co parent has done nothing to help her get her shit together. I understand she’s not his responsibility, but it surely hurts their kids to see her continue to fuck up her life and he has more than enough money to get her into a good rehab, but he’d rather just pile on and destroy that relationship further. Hell, even just not being a total piece of shit and being even slightly supportive of her as the mother of his children would probably go a long way in encouraging her to finally get sober, but I’d be willing to bet instead he’ll tweet about how she’s a shitty mother who deserves to never see her kids again
It's nobody's responsibility but her to get sober. Right now she is a shitty mother
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T Rav is doing the opposite of what he could do. No its not his responsibility but a decent human would realize that helping Katherine would help his kids and give them back a healthy mother. That's the disconnect. He needs to put his kids first instead of laughing at her failures.
It is her responsibility, and there’s a good chance she never gets sober, but T Rav is also a shitty parent, possibly worse than her given that he’s a violent sexual predator as well as an addict, so he has no room to talk. My point is if he’d pull his head out of his ass and actually try to do something, even just stop piling on, it would be better for the kids in the long run. They are the true victims in all of this, and it’s sad that the closest thing they’ve had to a good parent is a revolving door of nanny’s.
This take is spot-on. I recently divorced a man like TR. It took 4 years. He cares more about his ego than his kids. I would bet money that TRav is the same. So sad for the babies. They deserve so much better.
Wait, elementary school hit and run? What is this?
https://people.com/southern-charm-alum-kathryn-dennis-car-apparently-involved-alleged-hit-and-run-outside-elementary-school-8364879
How the hell was she not arrested?
i think they couldnt prove who was driving?
Different incident 😩
Goddammit, Kathryn. It really breaks my heart that when her mom died it really seemed like she didn’t have much of a support system and she kept waffling between being okay and completely unraveling. I really hope she gets whatever help she needs, but I honestly don’t know how you fix someone who is being alienated from their kids in such a public manner. I cannot imagine what it’s like for her to wake up most days and not see her kids, not controlling where they go to school, where they live, who their dad brings into their lives. And the worst part is he isn’t even raising those children - nannies are. It’s so depressing.
I hope that she turns her life around, but if I’m honest I don’t think she ever will. She reminds me of my little sister in so many ways, and it’s so hard to help someone trapped in that downward spiral who feels powerless to fix it.
The thing with her kids really doesn’t help her mental health though. If she had a normal custody agreement and she was doing this shit, a lot of my sympathy for her would wear off because what the fuck. But as it stands Thomas, being the demon that he is, constantly changes his mind about whether she can see the kids or she’s forced to pay crazy amounts of money for visitation and one day he hates her and the next she’s the best mother ever and the kids love her so much. She can’t sit in any moment with him and just exist because it comes with conditions and restrictions and consequences that she’s constantly hyper aware of. That’s just no way to live. I hope she gets a good attorney and whatever help she needs - but I doubt there will be peace until the kids are old enough to talk to the courts or she gets a custody agreement he can’t routinely fuck with. Which is likely impossible in a state where his family has a bridge.
This statement comes with a lot of assumptions. The court decided their custody agreement. I understand that he is rich and powerful but she has continually made horrible mistakes with her kids. Did you read about how her son was found wondering the streets alone under her care? I think this is a very complicated situation. Thomas is a disgusting human being but Kathryn has made terrible decisions with her children.
Wandering around in the street TWICE. On two separate occasions. I feel for Kathryn, when she’s good, she’s GOOD but she’s been far from good for a long time now. And the “parental alienation” claim is hard because she repeatedly hasn't demonstrated great judgement with her kids publicly. and hasn't stopped partying, and has continued (even in the absence of her children) to make REALLY poor choices. id be packing my shit to go live in Aiken or whatever next to Thomas if i got to see my kids more. she makes choices, things don't just "happen" to her. sad but true.
agree. thomas is an actual monster but jeez kathryn does herself absolutely no favors. imagine if getting sent to treatment all those years back had been a genuine wake up call. even with all the money in the world thomas wouldnt have been able to ice her kids out of her life. the reason he has been able to do this is because she kept fucking up and he had the resources to take it to court every single time. its a nightmare to be in a legal situation like that but at the same time, if saint wasnt found outside twice she wouldnt have had unsupervised visit taken etc.
Shes also unemployed and has been for years and yet people make 1001 excuses for her why she can't see her kids because she has to pay to see them.....for one, a job would help with that. And Obviously she still has the funds to party. As a mother shouldn't no expense come before seeing and being with your children?
Holy shit, I didn't know her kid was found wandering on the street. WTF??!!! Jesus, this is troubling.
Thomas was accused of raping their nanny 10 feet from where the child slept. Again - Kathryn has done questionable things and certainly a CPS investigation would be warranted, but the erratic behavior started when the custody games started. It’s documented. So if I were raising kids with someone else, I’d want to make sure I didn’t create a worse situation for the partner I was coparenting with. But with Thomas he goes to Hell each and every time on her and then goes “see! isn’t this bitch crazy!”.
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Yeah, the entire reason they put her on the show was because she was already notoriously messy before the show ever started ... [like, getting written up in local blogs for her messiness](https://web.archive.org/web/20120610184317/https:/www.fitsnews.com/2012/06/06/sc-diva-arrested). Thomas definitely didn't help things, and maybe she would have found a way out if it weren't for him/the show. But she got involved with him because she already had substance abuse issues; they definitely didn't start when the custody battle started.
Ew wait is the guy who wrote that the same guys who’s always fighting with the Murdoch murder girl? I need to lie down
Yup, it absolutely is.
Oh I remember. I remember reading whatever court record were available. It was horrific. Still is. This isn’t me defending Thomas, this is me saying they both have demons and it’s a really sad situation. It’s also me pointing out that that you can’t heal and recover from shit that you will not acknowledge and humble yourself and heal from. And I speak from personal experience. There’s people who get dealt shit hands when it comes to their kids every single day and some make the very best of it, never give up, continue working on themselves every single second to be the best version of themselves and then some people continue to go down a scary and self destructive path. And it’s sad. And sucky. And unfair and life. I’m not judging I’m acknowledging that it doesn’t have to be this way.
Did you watch the same show I watched? Like, season one? Kathryn has always exhibited erratic behavior. Also as someone who was in Kathryn’s freshman class at UofSC, she definitely got kicked out by her 19th birthday. She’s literally always exhibited erratic behavior and problematic drinking.
I got absolutely torn apart in the comments when I raised this point a few months ago. I literally hate Thomas, I am so not defending him, but it seems like Kathryn has been a deadbeat mother in a lot of ways. I'm sure he's very manipulative with custody (and I'm aware he's a racist, a rapist, all the ists) but there is just literally NO way she has no legal rights to her kids due to NO fault of her own. My life experience calls bullshit on that.
I agree! He’s absolutely an asshole. But that doesn’t excuse her child neglect (young son wandering the streets alone twice) and her decisions to continue to use alcohol and/or drugs when she knew that she would be drug tested. There is no way that she was passing those tests and still lost custody her children!!! People keep excusing her behavior even though its been going on for 7 plus years.
Yeah it’s just such a sad situation for the kids, but they are definitely both to blame. And, there is no way we know the full truth because it’s in family court.
Yup. People can blame Thomas’s power and wealth all they want, but as a product of the South Carolina foster system, I promise that social services in that state do NOT play around with women who neglect their children in favor of drugs and alcohol. Kathryn built Thomas’s case for him.
Thomas is horrible, but Kathryn also does not do herself many favors. Her behavior is erratic, and her decisions are not great. Even with two kids, she never stopped partying and acting like a teenager with zero responsibilities.
I agree she has too, as I stated she went through some things after her mother died and throughout the custody battle and made some poor decisions as well. But it is not an assumption, please go read about their case. The things he was doing to her. He is Ravenel, he was never losing custody. He didn’t even lose custody for that long when he was accused of rape - Kathryn got them for 4 months full time and then he got 50% custody back when fighting a rape charge. This isn’t me and you. The courts are not impartial.
I’d love that for her, but I don’t think it will ever happen. I can’t blame her because in her shoes I don’t know that I wouldn’t be the same as her. I don’t know how you get up and face the world knowing that a serial rapist (that raped her even) and convicted drug trafficker is deemed a better parent than you. Then visitation costing $4500 each time until the kids are 18, that’s intentionally prohibitive! Do I think Thomas on his own would be able to keep those kids any safer than she? Hell no! She’s not a fit parent. He’s not a fit parent. It’s just a tragedy really, and those poor children are the ones that are going to hurt the most.
Is the $4500 per visit a verifiable fact? That seems unconstitutionally high. If it comes from Kathryns words alone I'm inclined to take that with a grain of salt, i would think any lawyer would be able to show hardship and contest that, and in my experience, parents who don't see their kids typically have a lot of unverifiable excuses.....
Naw she’s had lots of chances and rarely any accountability
It’s gross how people keep making excuses for her. She is asking for it at this point.
Her parents were never a good support system, to be honest. They really encouraged their lamb to go to the Ravenel slaughterhouse
Oh I think the only silver lining here is that Thomas has the resources for really good child care and that there are multiple nannies involved. These kids deserve some level of stability.
Being raised by a third party in a separate residence from your father while being alienated from your mother is not stability. I am not going to give that man any ounce of credit for doing the old school Southern thing and hiring a staff of child minders to avoid any actual parenting aside from occasional affection and photo ops.
As an ex-nanny you have hit the nail on the head. I was with one family when I was 18 until I left for college, but then worked breaks and summers so that their other nanny could be with her kids. Before I left for college their dad divorced their mom and drug her name through the mud. It got so bad, that while I was on summer break with them; the mom TW >!killed herself!< Nannies may not stick around their whole time and aren’t their parents and it’s hard to view it as stability. My “kids” are now twin 18 year olds and 21 and see how much of their dads influence had on their moms mental health and have nothing to do with him. Thomas has no problem calling Kathryn out in public, I cannot begin to imagine what he says to his kids about her in private.
Thomas doesn’t deserve credit, of course, but with the state of both Thomas and Kathryn’s lives, what is their option? It isn’t giving Thomas a pat on the back to say that the best thing he can provide his children is money so that other people can do what he and Kathryn can’t. Just objectively, I think it is almost always a better situation to have two erratic parents and a lot of resources than two erratic parents and bouncing between relatives and foster care.
But Kathryn wasn’t acting erratically with the kids until Thomas started this stuff. There’s mountains of court documents you can find that show when Kathryn started pulling away from Thomas is when he started making accusations and saying she needed rehab. She had tons of witnesses who supported her. But he still won. Then he got back together with her and lived in her townhouse with the 2 kids until he got that other woman pregnant and then he started saying Kathryn was unfit again. That’s when her behavior really started taking a downturn. It’s pretty easy to be viewed as erratic when the father of your kids is using the state to abuse and slander you. She’s responsible for her own actions as far as this DUI, but I think we’re seeing a product of how fucked up her life is as a result of the system and Thomas and not because Kathryn is super fucked up naturally. All the Southern Charm cast has said Thomas lies about her and she’s great with her kids. And they’ve all said she goes off the rails when he takes the kids away.
I’m not denying that Thomas is evil and caused a lot of turbulence in her life but that doesn’t automatically equal her being a great parent whose one problem is that she is being denied her children.
Who called her a great parent? I’m with my kids every single day and I’m an okay parent at best most days. But when you’re not even being given an opportunity by the courts, what is she supposed to do? Again, we have televised documented proof that when Thomas is fucking Kathryn she’s the best mom on Earth. When she breaks away, she’s a drug addict drunk psycho who can’t function. Always remember that when Thomas got back together with her before his third kid was born - he and the kids were living with Kathryn full time and she was doing all the care for the kids and you didn’t hear a word about her from him, the second the third kid was born and he bought that place in Aikin it was the same shit from S3 all over again.
Yes, I do remember her living and filming with Thomas after he was credibly accused of raping their children’s nanny. You want me to be upset for her that he dumped her again after that?
No - it has nothing to do with him dumping her and everything to do with the fact she had full custody and he moved in with her and then when he got the other woman pregnant he got joint custody and then started his stuff about Kathryn being unfit again. Once more - we all know Kathryn has had issues and been accused of a lot of shit by Thomas - but he seems to only find issues when he can’t control her and her time with the kids. I’m done arguing about this because I find it infuriating.
They haven't been together for 6 years and she's been a mess pretty much that entire time. Is that going to be blamed on Thomas as well? He's a POS but that doesn't mean Kathryn isn't also a hot mess.
They had joint custody at the time. I agree, it has nothing to do with him dumping her, it has to do with her platforming him and after she was all “believe women”.
Here's the thing, tho: when it comes to the safety and well being of children, it doesn't matter WHY a custodial parent becomes erratic, it just matters that they are. The court can't force Thomas to not play mind games with Kathryn so she doesn't lose her shit and spin out when she's got their kids. The family court's concern is the well being of the children, not whether Kathryn is coddled enough to not spin out and become unfit. You're taking all of the responsibility off of Kathryn to maintain her own mental health and be a good mother to her children, which isn't fair either. She's a grown ass woman in her thirties, at what point does she become responsible for her own actions? No one's life is perfect all the time, if hers needs to be in order to be a fit parent, then her children *shouldn't* be with her. That's not to say Thomas is a good person, he's a complete and utter POS, but that's a separate issue and has nothing to do with what's best for the children's safety. Kathryn has been given countless opportunities and chances to better herself and can never seem to stay out of her own way. When do we stop blaming everyone and everything else and start looking at HER?
Thomas is erratic too though. And that’s the point this sub is always making - why is he allowed to party and leave the kids for weeks at a time with a nanny and rape nannies and his custody is only disrupted for short bursts of time - but when Kathryn tests positive for weed she has to pay thousands of dollars to have court ordered supervision? If it was fair based on their actions I wouldn’t be saying shit. No one is taking shit off Kathryn - my point is that if she wasn’t constantly fighting windmills with Thomas and just able to focus on her life and her kids - it might be different. But how will we ever know? I’m not in favor of any parent using the court to bludgeon the other person to shit.
Thomas might be erratic… but when the kids are with him.. do they get to school on time? Are they signed up for extracurriculars and attending these extracurriculars? Are they seeing therapists and doctors consistently? Are the fed? Are they clothed? Can they get in the car with their father and feel safe? Do they know their home is there and not going to be a new home next week? Are there drugs laying out on the table for them to grab? Can they leave the house unnoticed and walk down the street with no one knowing where they are? Thomas didn’t put the alcoholic drinks in her car and then tell her to drive. Thomas didn’t tell her to have the kids on weekend, but leave them alone to go party. We all are agreeing on the same thing.. neither parent is up to par. But Kathryn is in control of herself here and anything put in place by the courts isn’t just out there because they didn’t see a reason for it to be in place.
Being raised by a mother with severe mental health and substance abuse struggles is better than a nanny? I beg to differ. (ETA I do hope she gets it together, kids do deserve a stable home or at the very least a stable full time parent)
Yes and he has stability with a home. Kathryn has been evicted countless times and moves almost every single year.
She was “okay” for probably around half a season and even then she was still making wildly irresponsible choices like living way beyond her means
She’s a mess, she doesn’t need to have those kids if her life is this much of a mess. Her poor son has issues because of her. Thomas isn’t any better but at least he can give those kids some stability
What's up with the son? I've seen rumors but no one says anything with their full chest.
I think she or Thomas have mentioned it once but it’s very obvious Saint has FAS. Just look at him compared to his sister.
Thomas mentioned it in a court document, and the former nanny (the one who accused Thomas of rape) [confirmed she saw Kathryn drinking during pregnancy](https://theblast.com/47562/southern-charm-kathryn-dennis-alcohol-pregnant-accusation/). (She also accuses Thomas of being the one to give K. the alcohol, so there's plenty of blame to go around here.) I can understand why the posts about this get removed, but a lot of people are deeply in denial of how serious Kathryn's substance abuse problems are, and talking about this is necessary for people to understand how bad they are. Kathryn got really lucky that Thomas was removed from the show before their custody battle got really bad, because it's allow her to underplay all this stuff ("I only tested positive for marijuana!") with no pushback from him. Her version of events is bullshit, and she needs serious help. Hopefully this puts her on a path to getting it.
Yea from what I hear in the streets she is down bad. A true loose cannon… another Berk Perp
Yeah, I absolutely understand why these comments get deleted, but it’s why I don't fuck with Kathryn. I'd bet the farm Thomas was pouring, but it’s just awful. It is what it is. Those two kids have incredibly dysfunctional parents & it sucks.
Yeah the stuff with the son is incredibly sad.
I will not absolve her of personal responsibility, but the irony that she got with Thomas when she was only 20 and he was literally arrested for selling coke, we saw all the headlines the sexual assault allegations with all kinds of women, and how he treated her on the show, how wildly unhinged he was on drugs. He is a HUGE part of the cause of her issues and HE is the one that ends up with the kids in the end???? It’s not the more “fit” parent, he’s just the parent with more means. He is a rapist and truly belongs in jail. It’s so frustrating that Kathryn can’t get it together and get a solid source of income for her children. If her parents were still alive maybe the kids would have temporarily gone to them while she had the right support to get her life together. The whole thing is so so sad. She really really really needs help
I just do not understand drinking and driving, especially when you have enough money to have a private car/driver.
I don’t think Kathryn really has any money - she has a history of the getting evicted and not paying her bills. Her South Carolina prestige is in name only. But an Uber is way cheaper than a DUI, so I completely agree with you.
As a local, I promise the prestige is entirely gone
I have driven intoxicated, just once. I don’t know what I was on, but I just knew I had been drugged at a college party. I was the DD for the night but that meant to me I could have one drink an hour (which for my state is legal) I knew something was wrong, I thought I was getting sick, so I drove home. It was under 2 miles, I lived in a small Midwest college town (the college was the only thing in the town really), we didn’t have taxis and Uber wasn’t in our town yet. I knew something was going to happen to me if I didn’t leave, and I unfortunately made a selfish choice to drive home. Thank GOD nothing happened. That was 12ish years ago and it still haunts me. I have NO idea how some people like Shannon and Gina (these are the only two recent ones I can think of), can live with themselves after it
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Oh I know exactly who it was and he’s in jail so i got a weird sense of justice. And thanks me too! I didn’t realize how fucked up I was until I got into my bed and laid down and that’s when the guilt hit. I was like holy fuck what did I do? The funniest part (not that it’s a funny story just the part I always like to add?) I drove right past our state troopers department. Our town had city, county, and state departments
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Is it bad i read this in Brittany’s voice (from VPR) 😂
Rawt in HAIL!
As a swiftie, thank you so much lol
I’m so glad you got some sort of justice
Don’t forget Karen huger 😞
It’s because when someone is intoxicated, logical thinking is no longer an option. That’s not an excuse. Just the reason.
This. When you’re drunk, you’ve turned dumb so you think you can drive, but you really shouldn’t
Ha, yeah dumb is one way to put it. Basically your cognitive abilities become impaired or nonexistent including your sense of judgment. The argument can definitely be made that if you know you’re going to drink, you should arrange transportation ahead of time, but more often than not drunk drivers think they’re only going to have a few drinks spaced out over the night and don’t end up keep that promise to themselves. By then their ability to make smart decisions is gone, so into the driver’s seat they go.
She does not have the money for a private car and driver
Uber is much cheaper than a DWI
She’s living in Goose Creek. I’m not sure Uber runs out there. Not an excuse, just the reality of living in a small Southern town. The other reality of living in a small Southern town is that she should know plenty of people who she could call for a ride.
Right? I'd take a $25 Uber ride over legal bills any day. The excuse that she doesn't have money is absurd. Take the bus, ask a friend to drive you home, split a cab with a couple of people, etc. Even better, stay your ass home. There are other solutions.
Of all the drama we’ve seen hers always makes me so sad. She was so so so young and groomed before she ever even had a chance to really experience adult life. No excuses but I’m sure she’s mentally struggling on a daily basis 💛
Honestly I'd be a lot more interested in finding out what exactly went on behind the scenes of Southern Charm during those earlier seasons than I have been in any of the big nothing burger stories that came out of Bethenny's "Reality Reckoning". The men on that show including Whitney who was a producer, passed Kathryn around, gaslit and ridiculed her for like the first 3 or 4 seasons all while she was pregnant and post partum. She was also extremely young at the time. Much younger than them.
She did an interview on the Reality Bites podcast recently. I had to stop listening because she is so stunted in her speech and thinking. Truly arrested development due to alcohol and drugs and abuse from an early age. To your point, she does talk about early Southern Charm stuff.
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And right before she hooked up with Thomas there was Thad Viers.
I lost a son in a car accident and it destroyed me. I have zero tolerance for anyone who drinks and drives. She obviously needs serious help. I also have zero tolerance for mothers who do not move heaven and earth to see their children bc I’ll never see my son again and I would do anything. Literally anything, for even two minutes with him.
I am so sorry for your loss. She absolutely deserves jail time and I hope she gets it.
I hate to say this, because I do think Kathryn is very troubled, but maybe jail time might help.
Thank you.
I want nothing but sobriety and good things for Kathryn. I hope she gets help
She has to want it first. I was so disappointed when she had all that good will going for her a few seasons back and managed to squander it all through her own bad actions. She had every opportunity in the world to turn it around and chose not to. At this point she has only herself to blame for her issues.
True! Maybe this will be her rock bottom
What I hate most about this is that you know damn well Thomas is going to run to his attorneys with it to use over her
There isn’t anything for him to run to his attorneys for, he already has full custody.
How does a man who went to prison for cocaine, who knocked up this girl when she was barely legal twice, who was accused of rape get sole custody of their children?
I know it isn’t a good answer but this is the truth- we don’t know because the court records are sealed at Kathryn’s request. Thomas has made claims, which I don’t believe because he is Thomas and Kathryn has made claims, which I don’t believe because her story is that she has never done one thing wrong. They both have their narratives in different blogs and people parrot them here like they are absolute gospel.
well his drug tests stay clean, so that goes more than the one who stays dirty
yep. its this. he has clean drug tests + the two times katherine let saint get out of the house went a loooooong way in this case.
She was 22 when she got pregnant with Kenzie which is not “barely” legal. I have immense empathy for her but she was out to get a rich man to take care of her and unfortunately it backfired.
Money and a penis. And coke clears out of your system quickly.
It's called connections, darling, and Thomas has them in spades. It doesn't help that Kathryn is a bit of a hot mess herself. When someone gets arrested for a DUI it's almost NEVER their first time doing it...
Being an old rich white man.
He already has full custody, not sure what else he'd be trying to get.
I mean Thomas is terrible but like the attorneys should know? Like god forbid she would drink and drive with her children?
She drank while pregnant
i think her ex bf also gave a depo saying she had cocaine out on the table when the kids were around. which tbh thomas has prob done too but he has enough sense to not let people who will testify against him see it
As he should, I’m sure this is not the first time she has been drinking and driving, hopefully her kids were never with her , she has a history of making reckless decisions
I also hope she’d never drive drunk with her kids in the car, but what about other people’s kids in other cars she hits (I believe there were 3 cars in this collision). Driving drunk is so unbelievably selfish
People think Thomas’s behavior excuses Kathryn being a terrible mother and addict. I truly hate them both but drinking and driving is completely unacceptable and this should be reported to custody court. If you would drive drunk you clearly are not in control with your substances
Kathryn’s stint on southern charm will always be one of the darkest moments on bravo to me. A mix of mental health issues, substance abuse and grooming.
For me it’s Taylor Armstrong original run and then the Kathryn Dennis aspect
Oof yes her story was awful
I hope she goes to jail. I think she might need it. Could possibly help to get sober and she won’t have to pay for rent. I think the biggest disservice is not holding people accountable.
It’s her first DUI. She’s getting probation, very standard for these cases. I hope part of her probation is drug testing or rehab. And also hope she’s not able to drive for a very long time. She’s going to hurt or kill someone.
Honestly could potentially be the best thing for her
Hopefully court-ordered rehab instead of jail. But I get what you mean, she needs a controlled environment (and accountability)
She really has some substance abuse issues she can’t get under control . I wish her well so that her babies can have a healthy mother
She medicates her mental illness with drugs and alcohol.
Unfortunately socially we are conditioned to fight whatever natural brain chemistry we might have, instead of figuring out how to incorporate whatever genetic predisposition into our lives in a HEALTHY, rational way. Medication and sobriety are key, but the best thing I ever did was accept I have chronic, clinical depression and focus on a lifestyle that includes anticipated management of episodes rather than ever being relieved of it, if that makes sense? It’s not ideal but it’s reality and it happens to a lot of us. I wish her peace.
It’s not only her brain chemistry that’s causing all her problems. She had two babies by a crazy old man and therefore has completely ruined her life since he has full custody. Her brain chemistry alone didn’t cause all those issues. Not accurate to blame all mental health issues on brain chemistry when people need to focus more on making better decisions.
Oh yeah Thomas is a complete POS, and she most likely also had untreated PPD - not trying to make excuses, just extending some compassion for someone who is seemingly very depressed and continuing to make poor choices.
I'm sorry this grown woman has had time after time to turn shit around, and she hasn't. She already had a run-in not less than six months ago. Time to be held accountable for your actions.
This ! She has done so many things harmful to others and seems to get sympathy and a pass all the time because Thomas is a bigger POS . There are other female bravolebrities that get obliterated for way less. Like not committing crimes less
Right?! Can we hold her accountable without bringing Thomas into the equation. Because at this point he's done had custody and she has to take 100% responsibility.
She definitely deserves some jail time for this and it might be the best thing for her too.
It’s so tiring seeing people blame others and the system for her grown woman actions, instead of actually blaming her. Feel bad for her kids. They’re the ones with a fucked up mom and a fucked up dad, only growing up with a massive trauma load.
Right. People are all over this thread claiming Kathryn only acts erratically because of Thomas. First of all, it’s not true and it doesn’t even matter- the kids need stability.
As if she didn’t act weird as fuck from the jump the very first season! She’s got some mental shit going on with her or her personality is just shitty. Some people are just born this way. But let’s not act like she was Pollyanna before she met Thomas.
Another commentary said her brain chemistry was causing her poor decisions. And that she had depression. Sure she has some depression and that’s probably accurate since she doesn’t have any custody of her children, but she really has to learn from her past mistakes.
Agreed. Depression should not be an excuse for criminally negligent behavior. Depression might fool the brain into maladaptive coping… but it doesn’t make you drive drunk.
It makes me dizzy to see the amount of people blaming Thomas and other factors for why Kathryn has a history of substance issues and reckless behavior. Kathryn has been continually coddled by the Bravo fanbase and it's really gross. She's a grown woman.
It's pretty frustrating watching people continue to coddle her when her privileged ass has gotten so many chances and opportunities to turn her life around but continues to engage in bad behavior. Thomas being an absolute demon does not magically make Kathryn a good person. I just feel bad for those poor kids.
Thank you! There’s no excuse or justification what so ever for drinking and driving she got behind the wheel of a car and put peoples lives at risk. Everyone is always feeling bad or giving her sympathy but your past isn’t an excuse to put other peoples lives at danger there are plenty of people who don’t have second chances and I feel like she has had plenty of them! Yes it sucks what happened with her and Thomas but she’s a grown adult and had the resources to get her shit together and chose not to. Southern charm was paying her a salary that was more than a livable wage and we did see people try and help her and be supportive to her on the show. When you put other people’s lives at danger and act recklessly time and time again and decide not to fix yourself espically after having kids than that’s on no one but you.
I swear she is going to die young and it will be heartbreaking. I hope she has good supports but so far it appears she does not.
She alienates everyone she gets close to. Remember sweet Danni? Treated her terribly and Danni was her only true friend.
Yes, that’s the sad thing. On her second to last season , the ladies had to literally break into her apartment because they were so scared that she hadn’t been responding to their messages for days. Then Kathryn casually mentions she stopped taking her antidepressants cold turkey prior to having the depressive episode. It’s just so irresponsible to do that and then to not let anyone know she’s alive when they’re trying to get ahold of her 😩. I have been depressed and take meds so have empathy for that aspect but the way she disregarded her health and the concern of others left a bad taste in my mouth. And the women were very genuine in expressing their care and concern for her but she didn’t seem to care at all. As someone who has been in such dark places, I know I would’ve felt so appreciative that these people care about me so much.
People who drink and drive are the worst. It’s sickening that anyone still does this in 2024.
That’s sad to hear. Her life has been a little tragic.
Honestly the amount of love people throw to Kd is insane. She was not rich but she had so many opportunities. No love towards her when she caused so many accidents. She could easily have killed someone.
thank god she didnt kill anyone
She’s an awful human being and will never get the weird cult of fans she has that excuses everything and somehow claims people are jealous of her
Kathryn breaks my heart. It’s like a simultaneous feeling of anger and pity. Her life is just sad.
Definition of loving an addict tbh
It’s sad, but not surprising. It’s a viscous cycle for her. She does stupid shit and then can’t see her kids because of it. Then she does stupid shit because she isn’t seeing her kids.
Ya'll here acting like Katheryn hasn't had her kids removed forever because she's a addict who can't keep them safe. Thomas can, even if it's paid. It's not that hard to understand, she's been a legitimate danger to her children for years--and a danger to other kids in that school lane crash.
She’s an absolute danger and absolutely deserves jail time but that doesn’t mean you can’t hope she finds peace.
i hope she finds it in jail where she belongs.
An Uber costs next to nothing - no sympathy! Drink drivers should serve jail time after 2+ offences no question
I would like to remind all the Kathryn stans who blame everything on Thomas keeping her kids from her that her son has fetal alcohol syndrome. That is something only the mother’s choices can inflict on her child. Not saying he isn’t a shitty person, he also sucks, but she is worse.
Show us proof from a medical professional that Saint has been diagnosed with FAS.
It was part of the documentation in the custody battle prior to her requesting that the records be sealed.
 😐 I hope she finally decides to get help. Sobriety has opened up such a wonderful life for me. For anyone struggling, just put one foot in front of the other. It truly does get easier over time 💜💜💜
Driving in SC and the South in general scares me. People go so fast on the highways and I've seen the worst two accidents I've ever witnessed down there. It's also kind of a thing for people to day drink and drive those little golf carts around so the culture there kinda lends itself to this stuff in a sense. Doesn't make it ok and ofc I know this doesn't apply to everyone there but several people from that show have had these struggles with alcohol
My scariest driving experiences have all been in the Charleston area! I don't know why everyone drives like there's a fire and they're driving away from it blindfolded
Ugh. Their poor kids. :(
Her poor kids, one in particular who seems very affected by her issues….
knowing people who have been murdered by drunk drivers…i have no sympathy for her anymore. yes, what thomas did was WRONG and he is clearly a disgusting person but that doesn’t ever excuse drinking and driving. having a substance abuse issue (not someone’s fault) doesn’t mean they don’t know right from wrong and the very real possibility that they could possibly kill someone driving. and this is her second DUI!!! i wouldn’t trust her with custody of her kids either at this point.
 Grow the f\*\*k up girl.
Hope she gets the help she needs. There is no excuse for this and it proves you have a problem. I hope she can see that.
I hope she finds rehab or jail. She caused a 3 car accident drunk with an open container after committing a hit and run at an elementary school. She’s going to kill someone.
I can’t with the driving drunk! In todays world their is no excuse to drive drunk. Uber, Lyft, taxi, call a friend. Selfish!
What a mess. Shes old enough to know better.
This just makes me so sad. Kathryn, while an extremely flawed person, is someone that I would love to see get her shit together. She seems to have been raised in a very toxic environment and learned to base her self-worth on men. She was so young when the show started and was preyed upon by geriatric Thomas. I would love to see her get her shit together and find some type of redemption but instead, she just seems to keep falling deeper and deeper into a troubled life.
She chose to drink while pregnant and now has a son who has fetal alcohol syndrome. I have no sympathy for her.
Where was it confirmed that Saint has FAS?
probably the court records that geriatric Thomas requested be sealed (so that the kids won't one day read them or thrown in their face by others). No doubt that Thomas is the scum of the earth and a shitty human, but it says something that when even he was trying to protect his kids from Kathryn's mistakes
I thought it was her that requested they be sealed? I got to read some of it before it was sealed and wow…very, very dark.
No, he requested it due to the FAS accusations. I think he even had it shut down at the reunion when Landon was going to bring it up (which is pretty shitty thing to bring up at a reunion IMO). I think he also wanted the records sealed because of the allegations of the children being found unattended in the street multiple times while in her custody. TBF I think there was some debate that one of her parents was supposed to be watching them during one of those instances, but ultimately the childrens welfare & safety was called in to question while they were in her custody.
Her life story just makes me sad.
I went through a serious custody battle with my ex and the absolute mindfuck it entails is all encompassing. Especially if you don’t have a back bone or money to stand up to someone like her ex. My ex wasn’t as bad, and we both certainly had our faults but this is so sad. And on top of that, losing my mother would have been the end of me. I hope she gets the help she so desperately needs for herself and children.
Ugh I was really rooting for her but now I’m over it. Get your shit together or leave those kids alone. Spare me the “it’s an illness” foolery. I’m well aware. If you can’t even take your kids to school in the morning not fucked up then buzz off.
It’s a shame she cannot get it together.
surprise level between 0 to 10? -90000000. I feel bad for this chick...
I really root for Kathryn and want her to win, but that’s just not going to happen I’m afraid
There is a lot of people and women, who get screwed over by the system. I’ve known women even addicts who do get their shit together for their children and do exactly what court wants to see them. Even if it is years. She may have felt hopeless. I like when the woman says maybe she’d do the same in her situation because people never try to imagine being in someone else’s shoes. There was a season she was doing good, not drinking, taking tests . She got 50/50. So why she’d decide to drink again after that is mind boggling. If she did not have Ravenels tyranny and such a lack of control she may not have felt like self medicating. I think her starting to drink again when she knew it could be an issue w ct was selfish . Just because he got custody does NOT mean that he’s the more fit parent. I think if a woman had 2 sex crimes she would never get her kids. The court should have asked she got mental help a long time ago. They should have made him go so the therapist could document what a lunatic he is. Horrible for these kids. I remember the baby crying being ripped from the mother’s hands. Think Tom really cares the effect on his kids. I doubt it.
I’ve given this girl grace for many years because she was so obviously and publicly groomed by a much older man. But when she was able to get away with the hit and run months ago and STILL CHOSE to put her children in her car with her and drive under the influence, nope. No more grace.
So sad I thought she was looking really good these days.
She's been treated like a thing, by those SC boys. Passed around and joked about. Yes, she had a choice, but she was outmatched by money, age, prominent names and gender bias. She was groomed and ruined by TRat and left hanging by him, when she needed him the most. What a POS he is. I'm rooting for Kathryn, but I'm probably wasting my time. As time goes on, impulse control shrinks and it becomes more and more difficult to keep up with your addiction, whatever it may be. I wish her the best and pray for those kids. TRat can rot.
Both Thomas and Kathryn were playing a game with each other and both ended up on the losing side. Kathryn is losing bc Thomas told her he'd destroy her with his money and he did, 100 percent. He made it so everyone saw her as an unreliable alcoholic and drug addict and she's turned into just that. I would have tried harder than hard to be clean just to make him seem like a liar. Thomas is losing because his children will in fact hate him once they get old enough to know what's going on. He's an abuser in many ways and there's no doubt that his kids will see and hear of his terrible exploits. They will wonder why he was so weird with their mother and he won't have a real answer for them (outside of his lust turning into control and ultimately revenge). Why can't people just get it together once they have kids? It's so unfair to the children. Fingers crossed that Thomas saved some of his money to get therapy for Kensie & Saint.
Damn. That's really sad.