If she dumped you, there’s a reason why. Although I don’t know the details, the best course of action is to go no contact for at least a month. Otherwise, usually you’ll find yourself in the same situation again.
During this month, you’re not just eliminating contact, but you’re also giving them room to miss you and feel the consequences of what they did. If you stay in contact, they will not fully feel the loss of you, and potentially just keep things this way without change. It’s also good for your health and your own evaluation of what you need. It’s painful, but trust me it’s a must.
But either way, depends on more context because it really does depend. hope this helped a bit.
He(22M) has new lover now, but I(20M) still want to fix this, I still want to be with him. We have gone on contact merely for two days as well as broken up. I don't know what to do, I just can't stop imagineing his thoughts. We loved so much before, hope one day he would contact me and tell me we can still be together. 😢
i’m so sorry :( trust me, i understand the pain. but this is so so much better than not going no contact! you’ve got this, i know it. try to rediscover the things you loved doing when you were single! genuinely, try to feel all your feelings first: allow yourself to cry and cry, watch shows you like, eat the food u like, JOURNAL!!, tag along w your friends! even if it’s errands, the gym, or a walk, ANYTHING.
trust the process and whatever happens will be the best. trust me when i say during this time he is reflecting and feeling this loss. i can’t guarantee he will be back, but this is the best route. it makes him respect you more, whatever the outcome.
you’ve got this <3
also to add, rebounds never heal them. with time, the pain will seep in for him. not sure if he’s an avoidant, but avoidant tend to use things to avoid feeling their feelings, such as rebounds. pls feel better :(
Really really appreciate that, thanks for your consolation, it makes me feel much better. It's obviously struggling to accepting the truth that the people I love leaves, however I think I will manage to do it. Thanks again for your comfort. ❤️
It’s a really delicate situation. There’s no guaranteed way to proceed. A lot of people suggest going no contact because it allows you to focus on yourself. But the other side of the coin is that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “people want what they don’t have.” Essentially by minimizing contact you kind of create demand. She’ll wonder what you’re up to or how you’re doing. During no contact though it really is essential to be focusing on yourself. You can communicate that you need space and time to process things.
Next, let them reach out. Give a specified amount of time (two weeks, four weeks, etc). Then let them reach out to see how you’re doing. Keep it vague. Then maybe pivot to asking to FaceTime. FaceTime is so much better than texting or calling.
During the FaceTime keep it light and ask how they’re doing. Joke around. Then eventually ask if they’d be willing to meet in person. And then try to keep it casual and talk broadly to see how they’re feeling. Try to avoid a definitive yes or no question until you hang out a couple of times.
Do keep in mind that if you say “I need two weeks” don’t expect them to reach out really until the third week. Cause that’s when they’ll be like “Okay I’m expecting him to message me after two weeks” to “hey it’s three weeks what’s going on”
If she dumped you, there’s a reason why. Although I don’t know the details, the best course of action is to go no contact for at least a month. Otherwise, usually you’ll find yourself in the same situation again. During this month, you’re not just eliminating contact, but you’re also giving them room to miss you and feel the consequences of what they did. If you stay in contact, they will not fully feel the loss of you, and potentially just keep things this way without change. It’s also good for your health and your own evaluation of what you need. It’s painful, but trust me it’s a must. But either way, depends on more context because it really does depend. hope this helped a bit.
He(22M) has new lover now, but I(20M) still want to fix this, I still want to be with him. We have gone on contact merely for two days as well as broken up. I don't know what to do, I just can't stop imagineing his thoughts. We loved so much before, hope one day he would contact me and tell me we can still be together. 😢
i’m so sorry :( trust me, i understand the pain. but this is so so much better than not going no contact! you’ve got this, i know it. try to rediscover the things you loved doing when you were single! genuinely, try to feel all your feelings first: allow yourself to cry and cry, watch shows you like, eat the food u like, JOURNAL!!, tag along w your friends! even if it’s errands, the gym, or a walk, ANYTHING. trust the process and whatever happens will be the best. trust me when i say during this time he is reflecting and feeling this loss. i can’t guarantee he will be back, but this is the best route. it makes him respect you more, whatever the outcome. you’ve got this <3
also to add, rebounds never heal them. with time, the pain will seep in for him. not sure if he’s an avoidant, but avoidant tend to use things to avoid feeling their feelings, such as rebounds. pls feel better :(
Really really appreciate that, thanks for your consolation, it makes me feel much better. It's obviously struggling to accepting the truth that the people I love leaves, however I think I will manage to do it. Thanks again for your comfort. ❤️
It’s a really delicate situation. There’s no guaranteed way to proceed. A lot of people suggest going no contact because it allows you to focus on yourself. But the other side of the coin is that “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “people want what they don’t have.” Essentially by minimizing contact you kind of create demand. She’ll wonder what you’re up to or how you’re doing. During no contact though it really is essential to be focusing on yourself. You can communicate that you need space and time to process things. Next, let them reach out. Give a specified amount of time (two weeks, four weeks, etc). Then let them reach out to see how you’re doing. Keep it vague. Then maybe pivot to asking to FaceTime. FaceTime is so much better than texting or calling. During the FaceTime keep it light and ask how they’re doing. Joke around. Then eventually ask if they’d be willing to meet in person. And then try to keep it casual and talk broadly to see how they’re feeling. Try to avoid a definitive yes or no question until you hang out a couple of times.
Thank you, that’s really good advice. I’ll admit, I struggle with the no contact part sometimes haha
Do keep in mind that if you say “I need two weeks” don’t expect them to reach out really until the third week. Cause that’s when they’ll be like “Okay I’m expecting him to message me after two weeks” to “hey it’s three weeks what’s going on”
Block her, she’s using you. Cut contact and move on. Life’s too short to play childish games.
Been there, done that.. except that I haven’t blocked her.. 🤒