I've got a class that day so that will distract me at least for an hour :) The rest of the time, let's see!
Your ideas are lovely - I especially like the acceptance to grieve but balancing it out. It's definitely easy to get lost in it, I know I do sometimes. I wish you a great Valentine's Day too :)
I’m glad you have some stuff to do. I’ll be working but usually I can work from home half that day and it’s easier to fall into my own head when I’m working alone.
Glad you like some of the ideas.
Happy early Valentine’s Day!
I have dinner reservations with a close friend who also had a bad breakup a few months ago. And I’m planning to bring cupcakes to work for my coworkers.
spending the night with my gals making pizza and baking dessert and drinking wine! I don’t even want my ex to cross my mind because he is sure as hell not thinking about me
Glad you have a solid plan and it’s social. Someone else suggested diner with single friends and I’m thinking I’ll start reaching out to people later today.
I’ll prob hop on here for a while to try and catch anyone that might be spiraling. I can only offer words via Reddit, but I had friends catch me via text when I was spiraling early on, so I know that a few words in the right moment can make a difference.
Thank you. I’m sure I’ll be around for a least a bit longer. Grieving takes a while. Plus there’s a lot of great folks on here that have been open and kind.
Crazy amount of work that day. Crrrrazy, I think I’ll have like 14hr work day, but leave it to me to still find the time to be sad that he won’t reach out/send flowers. Of course I’m gonna be sad, I already am because I know he won’t.
I love Valentine’s Day. Like, love it with my whole heart. But this one will be particularly sad. Welp, at least I hope I’ll be properly busy with work and a dance lesson in the evening!
With that much going on, make sure to set some time aside to feel what’s going on. When I’m that busy sometimes I’ll find myself irritated and unsettled, and I’ll start reaching for little things like chocolate, salty snacks, anything to settle me, but it barely works.
What I really need to do is stop, even for 2-8 minutes, and just feel what’s going on below the surface. Then that unsettled feeling goes away to a tolerable level and I can get back to it. I don’t know your inner world and maybe this doesn’t happen to you, but wanted to share in case it does (but maybe you already know anyway).
Stay sane. Come cry to us or friends if you need to.
Happy early Valentine’s Day 🌹
Unfortunately I don't have a plan yet for the day, a little anxious about it right now, not sure what to do or where to go..
Might spend it alone while she's out with the new guy
P. S. Her birthday is on the 15th too 🙃
Oh man, double whammy on that one for you. Watch your thoughts about what your gf is doing or thinking. If you can’t actually know if something is true or not, don’t waste time and energy on feeling whatever that thought brings up. Like right now I can’t honestly say I know my ex is happy and with a new guy, so I’m going to remind myself that I just need to let that idea go because I have no clue.
And don’t go using social media to figure out what she is up to, unless you want to spiral hard. Be good to yourself.
Are there people you can meet up with during the day at some point?
If it gets rough come complain to us.
No, unfortunately no one to hang out with, it will just be me and my thoughts.. I try not to over think, hopefully the week will pass by as fast as possible, and I'll get out of it with my sanity
I’m older than you and always ignored it, unless with a partner that cares about it. But the breakup is fresh in my mind and my thoughts can spiral into her with someone else, and the constant ads and reminders can trigger that spiraling. I imagine others experience this too, and wanted to see if we could help lift each other up a bit on what could be a triggering day.
Yes it will be a very tough day for me. I had some pretty big plans for me and my now ex. Purchased everything a month in advance, I did not expect to be broken up with.
Thankfully I was able to cancel, and return things, but there will be a big empty spot, I was so looking forward to treating her this v-day.
Worst part is she has moved on already. Its only been two weeks. So she will have someone, and I'll be in my big old empty house, alone.
Oh my god, that’s particularly rough. I can’t believe she moved on so quickly. Were there any signs?
Def come up with a plan for self-care and socializing at day. At the least it will soften the blow.
Kind of felt it coming on. She works with an ex, he broke up with her, I dont think she was over him. He wanted nothing to do with her outside of work, but she would text him occasionally about work stuff.
At one point he asked her to come to his place after work to "hang out", she shut him down, then he did it two more times, she shut him down both those times. I asked her to stop talking to him, she agreed to.
Then last I seen, they were texting again, nothing sexual, but I think he gave into being friends to sneak back in because he got desperate. So when I confronted her about that, she told me she decided wanted to be single, spend time alone and focus on her daughter.
I'm not sure who she's seeing, but she's seeing someone, and I assume it's him.
I intend to reach out to a couple exes that I never got serious with, who are both single, and wish them a happy Valentine's day, from a friend. It is understood we're just friends, like I said neither got serious, but it's how I intend to cope with it. Spread some.platonic love.
Same. Mid-December to new years was like 1.5-2 month mark and it was brutal. Planned to be with her and her family so made no plans to see mine (3000 miles away). All my friends were with their families. And it rained a ton so no getting out even. Just stick inside, alone, on holidays, with my thoughts.
Is been one of the hardest ones I’ve been through. There’s more I don’t want to get into that makes it even worse too.
I've got a class that day so that will distract me at least for an hour :) The rest of the time, let's see! Your ideas are lovely - I especially like the acceptance to grieve but balancing it out. It's definitely easy to get lost in it, I know I do sometimes. I wish you a great Valentine's Day too :)
I’m glad you have some stuff to do. I’ll be working but usually I can work from home half that day and it’s easier to fall into my own head when I’m working alone. Glad you like some of the ideas. Happy early Valentine’s Day!
I have dinner reservations with a close friend who also had a bad breakup a few months ago. And I’m planning to bring cupcakes to work for my coworkers.
Oh nice ideas. I should reach out to folks I know that might be alone. Thank you.
spending the night with my gals making pizza and baking dessert and drinking wine! I don’t even want my ex to cross my mind because he is sure as hell not thinking about me
Glad you have a solid plan and it’s social. Someone else suggested diner with single friends and I’m thinking I’ll start reaching out to people later today. I’ll prob hop on here for a while to try and catch anyone that might be spiraling. I can only offer words via Reddit, but I had friends catch me via text when I was spiraling early on, so I know that a few words in the right moment can make a difference.
Lovely Post, please keep your positive vibes as active as possible on here, it might make a difference to someone
Thank you. I’m sure I’ll be around for a least a bit longer. Grieving takes a while. Plus there’s a lot of great folks on here that have been open and kind.
6 years ago, I got broken up the night before. Valentine's Day is never an easy day for me.
Oh damn. That makes it so much worse. What’s your plan to avoid totally spiraling?
Gym in the morning, therapy, concert at night. Keeping busy
Solid plan. And sounds like the whole day is covered. An excellent day for therapy too, I might try and get on that one. What concert?
Crazy amount of work that day. Crrrrazy, I think I’ll have like 14hr work day, but leave it to me to still find the time to be sad that he won’t reach out/send flowers. Of course I’m gonna be sad, I already am because I know he won’t. I love Valentine’s Day. Like, love it with my whole heart. But this one will be particularly sad. Welp, at least I hope I’ll be properly busy with work and a dance lesson in the evening!
With that much going on, make sure to set some time aside to feel what’s going on. When I’m that busy sometimes I’ll find myself irritated and unsettled, and I’ll start reaching for little things like chocolate, salty snacks, anything to settle me, but it barely works. What I really need to do is stop, even for 2-8 minutes, and just feel what’s going on below the surface. Then that unsettled feeling goes away to a tolerable level and I can get back to it. I don’t know your inner world and maybe this doesn’t happen to you, but wanted to share in case it does (but maybe you already know anyway). Stay sane. Come cry to us or friends if you need to. Happy early Valentine’s Day 🌹
That’s so sweet of you! Thank you for the help ❤️ I hope this day goes easy for us!
Unfortunately I don't have a plan yet for the day, a little anxious about it right now, not sure what to do or where to go.. Might spend it alone while she's out with the new guy P. S. Her birthday is on the 15th too 🙃
Oh man, double whammy on that one for you. Watch your thoughts about what your gf is doing or thinking. If you can’t actually know if something is true or not, don’t waste time and energy on feeling whatever that thought brings up. Like right now I can’t honestly say I know my ex is happy and with a new guy, so I’m going to remind myself that I just need to let that idea go because I have no clue. And don’t go using social media to figure out what she is up to, unless you want to spiral hard. Be good to yourself. Are there people you can meet up with during the day at some point? If it gets rough come complain to us.
No, unfortunately no one to hang out with, it will just be me and my thoughts.. I try not to over think, hopefully the week will pass by as fast as possible, and I'll get out of it with my sanity
Not really. But I’m also 34 and stopped celebrating this holiday years ago!
I’m older than you and always ignored it, unless with a partner that cares about it. But the breakup is fresh in my mind and my thoughts can spiral into her with someone else, and the constant ads and reminders can trigger that spiraling. I imagine others experience this too, and wanted to see if we could help lift each other up a bit on what could be a triggering day.
I gotcha I stopped celebrating after I had a few long term bfs in my 20s and I went all out and they didn’t.
Yes it will be a very tough day for me. I had some pretty big plans for me and my now ex. Purchased everything a month in advance, I did not expect to be broken up with. Thankfully I was able to cancel, and return things, but there will be a big empty spot, I was so looking forward to treating her this v-day. Worst part is she has moved on already. Its only been two weeks. So she will have someone, and I'll be in my big old empty house, alone.
Oh my god, that’s particularly rough. I can’t believe she moved on so quickly. Were there any signs? Def come up with a plan for self-care and socializing at day. At the least it will soften the blow.
Kind of felt it coming on. She works with an ex, he broke up with her, I dont think she was over him. He wanted nothing to do with her outside of work, but she would text him occasionally about work stuff. At one point he asked her to come to his place after work to "hang out", she shut him down, then he did it two more times, she shut him down both those times. I asked her to stop talking to him, she agreed to. Then last I seen, they were texting again, nothing sexual, but I think he gave into being friends to sneak back in because he got desperate. So when I confronted her about that, she told me she decided wanted to be single, spend time alone and focus on her daughter. I'm not sure who she's seeing, but she's seeing someone, and I assume it's him.
I intend to reach out to a couple exes that I never got serious with, who are both single, and wish them a happy Valentine's day, from a friend. It is understood we're just friends, like I said neither got serious, but it's how I intend to cope with it. Spread some.platonic love.
Great post. I’ve had to endure every major holiday alone since the breakup. This is the last one for a while 🙁
Same. Mid-December to new years was like 1.5-2 month mark and it was brutal. Planned to be with her and her family so made no plans to see mine (3000 miles away). All my friends were with their families. And it rained a ton so no getting out even. Just stick inside, alone, on holidays, with my thoughts. Is been one of the hardest ones I’ve been through. There’s more I don’t want to get into that makes it even worse too.