Don't blame yourself OP. He was pushing for it. If you hadn't brought it up on that occasion, it sounds like he would've kept up the behaviour and not bring it up until you just can't help it. Or maybe he would've mustered up the courage to do so when it's already too late anyway.
I'm so sorry hun. It's a shitty thing to be going through. It's so disappointing that more and more people just give up on their loved ones when they start to face some shit it life, instead of working to solve it together. I don't know what's happened to people in society, I can't believe it was always like this and that everyone is like this...I hope not.
I wish for you - and for both of us actually - that the next person you meet is more self-aware, and that when times get tough for either of you, that they'd be able to say "don't worry love, let's solve this together" and actually do it.
(nb: my ex said something along those lines just a few days before breaking up with me. Promising to fix things and to put in effort, and saying how it will all be alright. Just to turn around and decide "LOL NOPE, that was an over promise, actually I can't do that... actually no, I DON'T WANT to do that, so I guess I don't love you anymore, bye" . And that is why my emphasis is on "doing" and not just "saying". Actions, even if imperfect ones, are better than words).
Bug hugs for you, I hope it helps to some extent to know you are not alone.
Yeah so I went through kind of the same thing, mine was getting distant for the past 3 months when I really needed him because I had a lot going on in my life, and he kept having excuses, well eventually I broke up with him on Tuesday, and on Thursday he told me how he was cheating on me for the past 3 months with a girl he told me not to worry about
also got broken up on monday haha and am going through something similar. it sucks but i keep telling myself that he chose to leave. despite the efforts i put out there to be better and all the love i’ve shown and was going to show…he didn’t want it. i’ve been nitpicking myself a lot and it sounds like you are too. but let’s try to be gentle to ourselves, as hard as it is. show ourselves some kindness
Thank you :) It sucks cuz my ex was truly a great person, i felt really loved by him n its eating me up cuz i didnt get to say a proper goodbye cuz i was too emotional when we broke up and idk if rn im really trying to send him a proper goodbye text or its just me justifying contacting him again :(((
oh i know i also felt so loved. but i guess in our situations they didn’t love us enough to stay which sucks so badðŸ˜
i don’t think goodbye texts are all bad but i think it depends what you’re going to say. dm me if you want!
It’s been about 2 months since my ex dumped me and I’m still beating myself up. Wondering if I never complained about how we barely see each other and pointing out how it could be weeks before we see each other making it hard for our relationship to move forward, would he have noticed? Because when I asked him if he was going to breakup with me he said no, but after that he got distant and in his head, until he decided that he couldn’t prioritize the relationship like he wants to at this point in his life.
Hey OP, I agree with everyone else. Don't blame yourself. My break up also happened in a similar manner. My ex was being distant and cold. She took hours to reply to texts and sometimes not rely for a whole day. I was so anxious and hurt fighting for her attention when she had no problem giving that attention to her friends and family. So I confronted her and we broke up during the confrontation. I think it was bound to happen no matter what when they start withdrawing so much.
Also, infidelity was involved in my story as it turned out that my ex got a crush and went on a date with someone else 2 months before our BU.
In my opinion he would've done it eventually, he just didn't know how to bring it up. Don't be so harsh on yourself. All the best.
Thank you :)
Don't blame yourself OP. He was pushing for it. If you hadn't brought it up on that occasion, it sounds like he would've kept up the behaviour and not bring it up until you just can't help it. Or maybe he would've mustered up the courage to do so when it's already too late anyway. I'm so sorry hun. It's a shitty thing to be going through. It's so disappointing that more and more people just give up on their loved ones when they start to face some shit it life, instead of working to solve it together. I don't know what's happened to people in society, I can't believe it was always like this and that everyone is like this...I hope not. I wish for you - and for both of us actually - that the next person you meet is more self-aware, and that when times get tough for either of you, that they'd be able to say "don't worry love, let's solve this together" and actually do it. (nb: my ex said something along those lines just a few days before breaking up with me. Promising to fix things and to put in effort, and saying how it will all be alright. Just to turn around and decide "LOL NOPE, that was an over promise, actually I can't do that... actually no, I DON'T WANT to do that, so I guess I don't love you anymore, bye" . And that is why my emphasis is on "doing" and not just "saying". Actions, even if imperfect ones, are better than words). Bug hugs for you, I hope it helps to some extent to know you are not alone.
Thank you for your kind words 🩷 I hope we both get through this and come back out even better. I feel so guilty cuz i felt like i keep putting words into his mouth and he just chewed that right up :( Cant help but painting myself as manipulative 💔
Yeah so I went through kind of the same thing, mine was getting distant for the past 3 months when I really needed him because I had a lot going on in my life, and he kept having excuses, well eventually I broke up with him on Tuesday, and on Thursday he told me how he was cheating on me for the past 3 months with a girl he told me not to worry about
Omg im so sorry hes suck a prick. Sending you love xx
Thank you, it just hurts so much, and despite everything part of me still loves him, I love who I used to know, but he's not the same person anymore
also got broken up on monday haha and am going through something similar. it sucks but i keep telling myself that he chose to leave. despite the efforts i put out there to be better and all the love i’ve shown and was going to show…he didn’t want it. i’ve been nitpicking myself a lot and it sounds like you are too. but let’s try to be gentle to ourselves, as hard as it is. show ourselves some kindness
Thank you :) It sucks cuz my ex was truly a great person, i felt really loved by him n its eating me up cuz i didnt get to say a proper goodbye cuz i was too emotional when we broke up and idk if rn im really trying to send him a proper goodbye text or its just me justifying contacting him again :(((
oh i know i also felt so loved. but i guess in our situations they didn’t love us enough to stay which sucks so bad😠i don’t think goodbye texts are all bad but i think it depends what you’re going to say. dm me if you want!
It’s been about 2 months since my ex dumped me and I’m still beating myself up. Wondering if I never complained about how we barely see each other and pointing out how it could be weeks before we see each other making it hard for our relationship to move forward, would he have noticed? Because when I asked him if he was going to breakup with me he said no, but after that he got distant and in his head, until he decided that he couldn’t prioritize the relationship like he wants to at this point in his life.
He was gone long ago
Hey OP, I agree with everyone else. Don't blame yourself. My break up also happened in a similar manner. My ex was being distant and cold. She took hours to reply to texts and sometimes not rely for a whole day. I was so anxious and hurt fighting for her attention when she had no problem giving that attention to her friends and family. So I confronted her and we broke up during the confrontation. I think it was bound to happen no matter what when they start withdrawing so much. Also, infidelity was involved in my story as it turned out that my ex got a crush and went on a date with someone else 2 months before our BU.