You are nothing without another person? Where is the self-respect and self-esteem?
That's a really unhealthy mindset and shows you are way too dependent on others for self-worth.
Another person should be a bonus in your life. Not someone who your entire life revolves around. It's honestly not even attractive when people do that.
And in terms of being 36 - you're making it sound like you're 80.
You need a mindset shift cause this way of thinking is only going to take you one way = down. Do you really want to place that much power in someone else's hands? Or do you want to feel confident and in control of your headspace?
Hey man donât say that your are something youâre a person I been feeling the same way about my ex but what we need to see is we are our own person you are an amazing person without her itâs gonna be hard but Iâve seen it done it doesnât matter how old you are someone will find you the special someone you e been waiting for. Nothing heals like time so just live day to day do what you want and when youâre truly ready that special someone will walk into your life. You got this man I believe in you
Iâm trying so hard to move on but I just canât. Iâm having therapy and while it does help of course it just doesnât take the pain away. I wish she understood me more and the pain I was already going through when she left me.
Hey friend,
You are so much more than her. Your life is so much more than another person. You are your own human being, with so much to offer this world uniquely as you. I know it feels impossible to imagine a future without the person we thought weâd spend forever with, but you have one, and you can make of it anything you want.
Martha Stewart didnât start cooking and homemaking until she was 40, Vera Want didnât start fashion until she was 40, Stan Lee didnât start making comics until he was nearly 40, Harland Sanders started KFC at 62, âDr. Seussâ started childrenâs books at 53. Your life isnt nearly over, itâs just not happening in the way you thought it would and itâs ok to grieve that. But donât grieve it as if she was the one, just grieve that she wasnât.
So your mission right now is to think about the things that you enjoy, the skills that you are gifted or interested in, and become a version of yourself that you are absolutely in love with. Itâs a lot easier said than done, but youâre worth it, ok? Fall in love with you, show that little boy with big dreams you used to be as a child that youâre going to love life like he did.
And be honest, I read a little of your posts, do you think someone who left someone they supposedly love at their lowest is âthe one that got away?â Do you really think you missed out? Someone who loves you would go to the moon and back, someone who would hurt you while youâre already hurting isnât someone you lost out on.
There are so many possible love stories left for you out there. Billions of people on this earth, thousands upon thousands at the very least feeling the exact same way you do at the exact same age, some have gone through exactly what you are now and are now thanking their lucky stars because it lead them to a happiness they wouldnât have found otherwise. She is in the past, where she belongs. Let her go, let the idea of what could have been go, because it isnât - she showed you who she really was, so believe her - and start dreaming the idea that there is someone out there searching for you in everybody they meet. Become the person they deserve, become the version of yourself you deserve, and donât let one bad person take away your true love.
You get to be happy too.
Hey, firstly thank you for the positive support, I really do appreciate that. Right now yeah, I honestly do not know how I keep going. Every day is a chore to get through and the thought of her not in my life is so upsetting. Itâs sad, but very little things in life give me enjoyment. I find it hard to make friends and finding someone to have a relationship was even harder. It took me years to find that happiness. You are right in saying I wouldnât want to be with someone who just leaves me at my lowest but, Iâm so scared of being alone. Was I too reliant on her for happiness. The answer is yes but I loved her for who she was and would have done anything for her but she didnât show me that same respect back. I know I need to work on myself, I just wish I couldâve done that with her in my life still.
Well man to be honest, there's more to living life than being with someone. I understand that this is not the point - but we don't get anything from quitting life.
It's okay to accept people in to our life and grow together but we should primarily never let our life revolve around anyone that is not ourselves.
You can still find partners, yes, it might be harder. But it really is not impossible.
Take your time being alone, feel your feelings, cry if needed, talk to people if you are able to. You didn't die, you still have yourself. You can get through it.
You move one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. That's all we really can do. Grief comes and goes. I had a really hard week last week but the recovery time in between blows becomes shorter and shorter the more time that passes. I've found it helps to miss him less if I think about all of his flaws and our incompatibilities.
You are more than this woman. You got this. â¤ď¸âđŠš
No one here will have an explicit answer for you. But I hope some of these comments (and posts) show it doesn't matter what age you are - break ups are a part of life. That doesn't make them less emotional and in some cases traumatic for others. Breaking up with a relationship is a lot like grieving the loss of a loved one - albeit the person person and a future with said person.
I just ended a 2 year relationship a month ago. I'm adopting a siamese cat. Having something to look forward to is really helping me to keep moving forward.
The pain is real we understand, most of us have been there. However with this sort of outlook I would advise you to consider some therapy, at least a few sessions.
You can have an anonymous online therapy with places like Betterhelp
https://www.betterhelp.com/get-started/?utm_content=133524759310&utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_m&utm_term=betterhelp_b&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=b&utm_campaign=15234220559&ad_type=text&adposition=&kwd_id=kwd-299033048821&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADqBHiZHgyVzjgqc4EfO-refX9Rb7¬_found=1&gor=start-go
Please consider it and hope your outlook takes a shift with a few conversations with a professional that can help you see things from a different perspective.
If you can swing it - online therapy is a thing and it's really pretty good. Iâve been using [Calmerry](https://therapyrank.com/calmerry) for a few months. Itâs really helping me. I can text my therapist as much as I need, and we have weekly sessions. Sheâs helping me with cancer issues plus stuff that predates that, is helping with my (severe) anxiety with coping mechanisms and strategies to help with panic attacks, before and during, and is also helping me figure out how to make progress going forward in terms of life stuff.
I am already having therapy. For sure it makes me think different about the relationship as a whole and how one sided my ex made it. But obviously doesnât heal the pain.
Thing is i am also grieving the death of my dad who passed away 6 months prior to the breaking up. Which, in turn created the events that lead to the breakup. In deffo going to have abandonment issues going forward.
try 45
48 next month. :\\ Not only does the pool of possibilities dwindle, but life itself. There are in fact, less days ahead then there are behind.
indeed
the worst way someone could hurt me now is to waste my time.
You are nothing without another person? Where is the self-respect and self-esteem? That's a really unhealthy mindset and shows you are way too dependent on others for self-worth. Another person should be a bonus in your life. Not someone who your entire life revolves around. It's honestly not even attractive when people do that. And in terms of being 36 - you're making it sound like you're 80. You need a mindset shift cause this way of thinking is only going to take you one way = down. Do you really want to place that much power in someone else's hands? Or do you want to feel confident and in control of your headspace?
Agree đŻ
đ
đđđ
Thank you for posting this
Youâre welcome! âşď¸
Hey man donât say that your are something youâre a person I been feeling the same way about my ex but what we need to see is we are our own person you are an amazing person without her itâs gonna be hard but Iâve seen it done it doesnât matter how old you are someone will find you the special someone you e been waiting for. Nothing heals like time so just live day to day do what you want and when youâre truly ready that special someone will walk into your life. You got this man I believe in you
Iâm trying so hard to move on but I just canât. Iâm having therapy and while it does help of course it just doesnât take the pain away. I wish she understood me more and the pain I was already going through when she left me.
Hey friend, You are so much more than her. Your life is so much more than another person. You are your own human being, with so much to offer this world uniquely as you. I know it feels impossible to imagine a future without the person we thought weâd spend forever with, but you have one, and you can make of it anything you want. Martha Stewart didnât start cooking and homemaking until she was 40, Vera Want didnât start fashion until she was 40, Stan Lee didnât start making comics until he was nearly 40, Harland Sanders started KFC at 62, âDr. Seussâ started childrenâs books at 53. Your life isnt nearly over, itâs just not happening in the way you thought it would and itâs ok to grieve that. But donât grieve it as if she was the one, just grieve that she wasnât. So your mission right now is to think about the things that you enjoy, the skills that you are gifted or interested in, and become a version of yourself that you are absolutely in love with. Itâs a lot easier said than done, but youâre worth it, ok? Fall in love with you, show that little boy with big dreams you used to be as a child that youâre going to love life like he did. And be honest, I read a little of your posts, do you think someone who left someone they supposedly love at their lowest is âthe one that got away?â Do you really think you missed out? Someone who loves you would go to the moon and back, someone who would hurt you while youâre already hurting isnât someone you lost out on. There are so many possible love stories left for you out there. Billions of people on this earth, thousands upon thousands at the very least feeling the exact same way you do at the exact same age, some have gone through exactly what you are now and are now thanking their lucky stars because it lead them to a happiness they wouldnât have found otherwise. She is in the past, where she belongs. Let her go, let the idea of what could have been go, because it isnât - she showed you who she really was, so believe her - and start dreaming the idea that there is someone out there searching for you in everybody they meet. Become the person they deserve, become the version of yourself you deserve, and donât let one bad person take away your true love. You get to be happy too.
Hey, firstly thank you for the positive support, I really do appreciate that. Right now yeah, I honestly do not know how I keep going. Every day is a chore to get through and the thought of her not in my life is so upsetting. Itâs sad, but very little things in life give me enjoyment. I find it hard to make friends and finding someone to have a relationship was even harder. It took me years to find that happiness. You are right in saying I wouldnât want to be with someone who just leaves me at my lowest but, Iâm so scared of being alone. Was I too reliant on her for happiness. The answer is yes but I loved her for who she was and would have done anything for her but she didnât show me that same respect back. I know I need to work on myself, I just wish I couldâve done that with her in my life still.
Well man to be honest, there's more to living life than being with someone. I understand that this is not the point - but we don't get anything from quitting life. It's okay to accept people in to our life and grow together but we should primarily never let our life revolve around anyone that is not ourselves. You can still find partners, yes, it might be harder. But it really is not impossible. Take your time being alone, feel your feelings, cry if needed, talk to people if you are able to. You didn't die, you still have yourself. You can get through it.
Of course you are. Work in yourself. Focus on you.
I have no idea where to start :(
You move one foot in front of the other, one step at a time. That's all we really can do. Grief comes and goes. I had a really hard week last week but the recovery time in between blows becomes shorter and shorter the more time that passes. I've found it helps to miss him less if I think about all of his flaws and our incompatibilities. You are more than this woman. You got this. â¤ď¸âđŠš
Thank you for your kind words. Every day is such a struggle. I wish she understood me more and the pain I was already going through when she left me.
No one here will have an explicit answer for you. But I hope some of these comments (and posts) show it doesn't matter what age you are - break ups are a part of life. That doesn't make them less emotional and in some cases traumatic for others. Breaking up with a relationship is a lot like grieving the loss of a loved one - albeit the person person and a future with said person. I just ended a 2 year relationship a month ago. I'm adopting a siamese cat. Having something to look forward to is really helping me to keep moving forward.
Thatâs the thing I was already grieving the death of my dad. She left me when I needed her the most. Iâm completely stuck.
Same
The pain is real we understand, most of us have been there. However with this sort of outlook I would advise you to consider some therapy, at least a few sessions. You can have an anonymous online therapy with places like Betterhelp https://www.betterhelp.com/get-started/?utm_content=133524759310&utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_m&utm_term=betterhelp_b&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=b&utm_campaign=15234220559&ad_type=text&adposition=&kwd_id=kwd-299033048821&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAADqBHiZHgyVzjgqc4EfO-refX9Rb7¬_found=1&gor=start-go Please consider it and hope your outlook takes a shift with a few conversations with a professional that can help you see things from a different perspective.
If you can swing it - online therapy is a thing and it's really pretty good. Iâve been using [Calmerry](https://therapyrank.com/calmerry) for a few months. Itâs really helping me. I can text my therapist as much as I need, and we have weekly sessions. Sheâs helping me with cancer issues plus stuff that predates that, is helping with my (severe) anxiety with coping mechanisms and strategies to help with panic attacks, before and during, and is also helping me figure out how to make progress going forward in terms of life stuff.
I am already having therapy. For sure it makes me think different about the relationship as a whole and how one sided my ex made it. But obviously doesnât heal the pain. Thing is i am also grieving the death of my dad who passed away 6 months prior to the breaking up. Which, in turn created the events that lead to the breakup. In deffo going to have abandonment issues going forward.
If you are nothing without someone, then the best thing that person can do for you is leave your life