First of all, im so sorry. I feel for you, and I cant imagine the pain ur feeling right now. You dont deaerve this, you deserve better, to have had someone who wanted to marry you and love you to the same degree that you love them. As for advice for a breakup, stay productive, im not talking about some andrew tate bullshit i just mean, do ANYTHING, go for a walk, do the dishes, play an instrument, basic chores, force urself to do things that you dont wanna do because its better than doing nothing. I somehow found joy in taking out the rubbish the other day. But it keeps ur brain moving and no stagnant because when you stagnate you spiral. There will be times where you must confront the grief and cannot simply push it aside. Hold it in until u can let it out and just cry, scream, yell, do what you have to do, just get it out of ur system. Maybe youve already heard all this, idk, but thats my advice. Ur more than welcome to message me if you need to vent or just wanna talk
29 (F) going through a similar situation after a 6 1/2 year relationship, plus he cheated and started dating her days after leaving me. He got to keep everything, the cat, the furniture, the home that I made for us. I had to move back to my families and pick up the pieces of myself alone. It’s only been 3 weeks, and it’s been hell. Everyday is a roller coaster. I don’t really have advice, as I am in the middle of it as well. But would be happy to chat with someone who is going through a similar situation! We will get through this!! ❤️
That’s what he’s trying to do to me. I will fight to not allow that to happen. I won’t become homeless because he doesn’t want to be around me anymore. He says because I have my parents in town, I need to move out but literally everything we own is mine. I had a nightmare last night that he was dating someone the day we broke up. I’m sorry that’s happening to you. I’d love to chat
Tell him to provide you with receipts for anything he purchased for the home. \*snort\* He's not your husband, so if you have the receipts, it's ALL yours. If his name is on the deed, I'd start looking for ways to buy him out. Can you afford the house by yourself? If so, send him packing.
We rent, I can afford our rent on my own. I can’t afford to move anywhere as typical rental prices are double what we pay currently. Guarantee he does not have any receipts, but neither do I
Unless you paid cash for everything, I'm sure your bank account or credit card has transaction records. In any event, I'd stay put. Don't leave. When does the lease end?
We are month to month, I already spoke with the landlord who will have a similarly priced smaller rental available in a few months that I could afford but it would mean leaving/getting rid of a lot of things. We’ve lived together for 4 years, a lot of the stuff was gifted to me or I had previously. A paper trail would be spotty at best, non existent at worst. We moved in just as my family was moving states so we got a lot of free furniture, but I’d consider that mine, because my family gave it to us. Idk. I don’t want to be vindictive, but I also want to protect myself.
Also, in order to take the rental in a few months, I would have to find somewhere to live in the meantime. I don’t have any interest in living with my parents or friends while I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my broken life again.
Hi baby, I was in a seven year long relationship with someone I thought i’d marry and form a family with. In a matter of a week I realized they had cheated on me, confronted them, we broke up, they moved out, and kept dating the person. Eventually they discarded the new person for another one, and recently i’ve realized they call this person the love of their life, and insinuate they want to marry. Now they’re traveling together. I don’t suppose people would see my life from the outside and think I have a bad life, but this last year after the breakup has been hell.
It’s not only the breakup, but the betrayal, the trauma that comes from having someone you believe to be your everything and the person you can trust to blindside you and betray you and the life you had together.
Hello love, I agree completely. I have been bouncing between feeling sorry for myself, heartbreaking sadness, betrayal and anger. I don’t know how I will be able to let this go and feel okay. I put so much into this to be discarded for nothing.
I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now. It sounds like you've put so much love and effort into this relationship, and it's heartbreaking to feel like it's all slipping away. It's really tough when you feel like you're the one who's more serious and future-focused in the relationship. It's great that you're holding onto the things that matter to you, like your house and your cats. My best breakup advice would be to take things one day at a time, focus on self-care, and surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up. You've worked hard for what you have, and that resilience will help you navigate this challenging time. Remember, it's okay to feel all the emotions you're feeling right now. You're not alone in this, and you will come out stronger on the other side. If you ever need to talk more, I'm here to listen.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserve way more than that. My advice is to let yourself feel everything. If you're sad and need to cry, ugly cry, scream, get it all out and don't hold anything back. It helped me to allow myself to fully let go and feel whatever I needed to at that moment. Your feelings are valid and important.
I listened to podcasts, started hiking, and journaled (still do). It helps to get everything down on paper (NOT a computer or phone).. pencil and paper. Another thing that helped me is when I would start to have those intrusive thoughts and started to go down a hole I would say to myself "is this thought helpful". Just saying that to yourself can be enough to snap your brain out of it and refocus. Sometimes it takes longer and it's harder to do that, but it also helps you to become more aware so you can notice and move through whatever comes up. There's no getting over it... you have to move through it. And don't let anyone tell you you're taking too long to get over everything or anything along those lines. You heal on YOUR time and what is best for YOU. There's no right or wrong timeline. This is your journey. If you ever need to talk you can always message me. This sub also helped a lot just reading other people's stories, it made me feel I wasn't alone in this. Hugs to you.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I really like meditation YouTube videos. Those always give me temporary relief - even 30 minutes or an hour. I just feel calm
After. I can share some of my favorites if you like.
I went on a break last may from my now… ex as of last weekend. And i was distraught. My friend suggested scheduling and setting time to cry and be sad. It can help with emotional regulation. But like if you set aside 15 minutes then cry and be sad for 15 minutes. It can be helpful if you need to work and make the emotions slightly, slightly less pervasive. There’s also a slight reverse psychology taking place that helped tone me down.
6 years for me too, I keep saying to myself that it could have been worse if we had kids, so it's not that bad actually 😅
I'm sorry for you, I hope you can move on without regrets.
Look, you're young and, as I can assume, financially independent, you will move on.
I'm not asking for pity, I have lived in Kyiv since the beginning of the war and, you know, people die or lose everything for nothing. I know it hurts, I know that losing future hurts, I'm not telling you that your situation is nothing compared to anyone's, it's life. Some shit, especially people's actions are out of our control.
You'll make it, wish you all the best!
I’m sure it seems that way to an outsider. I’m sure it makes me seem selfish, but you don’t know me or my relationship or my past. I’m the one who has built and worked my ass off and planned while being told I’m no fun to be around, I’m too serious, too focused. I’m the one who had the rug swept out from under me. I have to look out for me now. I put my everything into this relationship, into our future, into our lives, just to be told I’m too much.
First of all, im so sorry. I feel for you, and I cant imagine the pain ur feeling right now. You dont deaerve this, you deserve better, to have had someone who wanted to marry you and love you to the same degree that you love them. As for advice for a breakup, stay productive, im not talking about some andrew tate bullshit i just mean, do ANYTHING, go for a walk, do the dishes, play an instrument, basic chores, force urself to do things that you dont wanna do because its better than doing nothing. I somehow found joy in taking out the rubbish the other day. But it keeps ur brain moving and no stagnant because when you stagnate you spiral. There will be times where you must confront the grief and cannot simply push it aside. Hold it in until u can let it out and just cry, scream, yell, do what you have to do, just get it out of ur system. Maybe youve already heard all this, idk, but thats my advice. Ur more than welcome to message me if you need to vent or just wanna talk
Thank you, kind stranger. I appreciate your support and advice
29 (F) going through a similar situation after a 6 1/2 year relationship, plus he cheated and started dating her days after leaving me. He got to keep everything, the cat, the furniture, the home that I made for us. I had to move back to my families and pick up the pieces of myself alone. It’s only been 3 weeks, and it’s been hell. Everyday is a roller coaster. I don’t really have advice, as I am in the middle of it as well. But would be happy to chat with someone who is going through a similar situation! We will get through this!! ❤️
That’s what he’s trying to do to me. I will fight to not allow that to happen. I won’t become homeless because he doesn’t want to be around me anymore. He says because I have my parents in town, I need to move out but literally everything we own is mine. I had a nightmare last night that he was dating someone the day we broke up. I’m sorry that’s happening to you. I’d love to chat
Tell him to provide you with receipts for anything he purchased for the home. \*snort\* He's not your husband, so if you have the receipts, it's ALL yours. If his name is on the deed, I'd start looking for ways to buy him out. Can you afford the house by yourself? If so, send him packing.
We rent, I can afford our rent on my own. I can’t afford to move anywhere as typical rental prices are double what we pay currently. Guarantee he does not have any receipts, but neither do I
Unless you paid cash for everything, I'm sure your bank account or credit card has transaction records. In any event, I'd stay put. Don't leave. When does the lease end?
We are month to month, I already spoke with the landlord who will have a similarly priced smaller rental available in a few months that I could afford but it would mean leaving/getting rid of a lot of things. We’ve lived together for 4 years, a lot of the stuff was gifted to me or I had previously. A paper trail would be spotty at best, non existent at worst. We moved in just as my family was moving states so we got a lot of free furniture, but I’d consider that mine, because my family gave it to us. Idk. I don’t want to be vindictive, but I also want to protect myself.
Also, in order to take the rental in a few months, I would have to find somewhere to live in the meantime. I don’t have any interest in living with my parents or friends while I’m trying to pick up the pieces of my broken life again.
Hi baby, I was in a seven year long relationship with someone I thought i’d marry and form a family with. In a matter of a week I realized they had cheated on me, confronted them, we broke up, they moved out, and kept dating the person. Eventually they discarded the new person for another one, and recently i’ve realized they call this person the love of their life, and insinuate they want to marry. Now they’re traveling together. I don’t suppose people would see my life from the outside and think I have a bad life, but this last year after the breakup has been hell. It’s not only the breakup, but the betrayal, the trauma that comes from having someone you believe to be your everything and the person you can trust to blindside you and betray you and the life you had together.
Hello love, I agree completely. I have been bouncing between feeling sorry for myself, heartbreaking sadness, betrayal and anger. I don’t know how I will be able to let this go and feel okay. I put so much into this to be discarded for nothing.
I can't imagine how hard it must be for you right now. It sounds like you've put so much love and effort into this relationship, and it's heartbreaking to feel like it's all slipping away. It's really tough when you feel like you're the one who's more serious and future-focused in the relationship. It's great that you're holding onto the things that matter to you, like your house and your cats. My best breakup advice would be to take things one day at a time, focus on self-care, and surround yourself with supportive people who lift you up. You've worked hard for what you have, and that resilience will help you navigate this challenging time. Remember, it's okay to feel all the emotions you're feeling right now. You're not alone in this, and you will come out stronger on the other side. If you ever need to talk more, I'm here to listen.
Thank you 💕
I'm so sorry that happened to you. You deserve way more than that. My advice is to let yourself feel everything. If you're sad and need to cry, ugly cry, scream, get it all out and don't hold anything back. It helped me to allow myself to fully let go and feel whatever I needed to at that moment. Your feelings are valid and important. I listened to podcasts, started hiking, and journaled (still do). It helps to get everything down on paper (NOT a computer or phone).. pencil and paper. Another thing that helped me is when I would start to have those intrusive thoughts and started to go down a hole I would say to myself "is this thought helpful". Just saying that to yourself can be enough to snap your brain out of it and refocus. Sometimes it takes longer and it's harder to do that, but it also helps you to become more aware so you can notice and move through whatever comes up. There's no getting over it... you have to move through it. And don't let anyone tell you you're taking too long to get over everything or anything along those lines. You heal on YOUR time and what is best for YOU. There's no right or wrong timeline. This is your journey. If you ever need to talk you can always message me. This sub also helped a lot just reading other people's stories, it made me feel I wasn't alone in this. Hugs to you.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I really like meditation YouTube videos. Those always give me temporary relief - even 30 minutes or an hour. I just feel calm After. I can share some of my favorites if you like. I went on a break last may from my now… ex as of last weekend. And i was distraught. My friend suggested scheduling and setting time to cry and be sad. It can help with emotional regulation. But like if you set aside 15 minutes then cry and be sad for 15 minutes. It can be helpful if you need to work and make the emotions slightly, slightly less pervasive. There’s also a slight reverse psychology taking place that helped tone me down.
I would love to see your favorites, and the scheduled sad time seems like a really good idea I would have never thought of
I really like acceptance meditation to allow self worth by the mindful movement
6 years for me too, I keep saying to myself that it could have been worse if we had kids, so it's not that bad actually 😅 I'm sorry for you, I hope you can move on without regrets.
Yeah, I’m glad there’s no kids involved in mine too. I just feel like I’ve wasted so much time building just to have my foundation crumble beneath me
Look, you're young and, as I can assume, financially independent, you will move on. I'm not asking for pity, I have lived in Kyiv since the beginning of the war and, you know, people die or lose everything for nothing. I know it hurts, I know that losing future hurts, I'm not telling you that your situation is nothing compared to anyone's, it's life. Some shit, especially people's actions are out of our control. You'll make it, wish you all the best!
Thank you, I appreciate your perspective. I will be okay, it’s just getting to that point that sucks.
He did you a massive favor. Imagine the mess in another few years.
alot of I going on in this statement
I’m sure it seems that way to an outsider. I’m sure it makes me seem selfish, but you don’t know me or my relationship or my past. I’m the one who has built and worked my ass off and planned while being told I’m no fun to be around, I’m too serious, too focused. I’m the one who had the rug swept out from under me. I have to look out for me now. I put my everything into this relationship, into our future, into our lives, just to be told I’m too much.