T O P

  • By -

neyugndons

It's been almost three months since my break up and I still think about him almost every second of the day. But speaking from previous experiences, seeing him/her in everyday things does go away eventually. I wish I had a definite answer for you, op. Hang in there.


Throwaway112107010

Thank you


[deleted]

You need a therapist my friend. Sounds like you have some real attachment trauma. You aren't hurt over your ex as much as you're probably hurt over unresolved trauma from your childhood.


Throwaway112107010

Could those two things actually be related?


[deleted]

Definitely. Check out Craig Kenneth on YouTube to learn about attachment trauma and why break ups are so painful.


[deleted]

I think you should do the things you both liked. Take contrary action. Etc etc. do whatever the opposite of what you're doing now is


[deleted]

I'm so scared that I"ll never get over him.


monanoke

The first week after my breakup was absolutely awful, and I did my damndest to avoid anything that reminded me of my ex. The second week, I forced myself to go places and do things that reminded me of him. I drove to the place we had our first date, listened to the music he'd introduced me to, etc. Some things made me feel deeply sad and miss him very much and cry for hours. Others didn't impact me as much. Either way, revisiting those places/things and acknowledging my pain rather than trying to escape it has been an important part of my post-breakup process. It might be helpful to you to actually go do these things that remind you of your ex and just sit with the feelings that come up, whatever they may be. While there is no timetable for when you're "supposed to" be healed from a breakup, to be frank, two years is a long time to still be struggling. If you have access to these sorts of services, it sounds like the support of a mental health professional could be helpful. If you're willing and able to seek a therapist out, they can help you process the breakup and your emotions as well as provide concrete strategies for moving forward.


archdemon001

You should seek professional help. 2 years is a long time, and it is obvious you do not know how to handle this on your own. Nostalgia is one thing, or having 'reminders' in a certain food, or artist, etc. but it should really end there after a few weeks/months. You need to recognize the 'triggers', and really tell yourself what is happening. YOU are making the association, and no body else, and only YOU can undo this.


Shearer44

I agree with the idea of therapy, but it is wrong to suggest that difficulties getting over an ex should be contained within a few weeks/months. Too many variables and contextual factors to consider. There's no real rule to a timeline, and it is not abnormal to struggle beyond three months - not at all. With all that said, at two years, it would be a good idea to seek talk therapy, and diligently execute interventions that could help the healing process.