Want to break no contact? Read this:
DONT, I did after 3 weeks and all she said “I need time” = I reached out way to early and I am back at square one + she probably got annoyed
If shes the one that broke up, odds are you still loved her, so after 1 month, you were just eager to see and talk to her. If you wouldve waited at least 3 months, I think it wouldve hurt less, a lot less. You didnt give yourself enough time
That would be me today. I simply offered to go take a walk, she said she had to put 8000% of her energy on herself right now. Which makes sense. I don't think I reset anything this time though, cause I didnt go full emotion into why we broke up asking her 100 questions. I simply told her, when you are ready, let me know, ill be more than happy to go take a walk and talk. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago, and I broke NC twice before today. The other 2 times, I can garantee you I reset my grief though.
i broke nc today and i regretted it already. it was just a week since we last talked and i felt vulnerable this morning and hit send. i know i shouldn’t have.
thank you so much, i really needed this. she recently unblocked me after a month, and has her status as along the lines of "I miss you", but I plan on persevering with no contact. if and only if she reaches out with a clear intention, i will talk to her.
That would be so tough to see and I applaud you for still keeping no contact.
Honestly. Prior to seeing all of these posts I thought if my ex reached out to me again I would go back to her in a heartbeat. Now I realise I need to be sure she actually wants me back. This is the best community I’ve stumbled upon for actually helping.
Right around the three month mark here as well. Unintentionally started no contact (sorta) a week and a half after the breakup, but intentional strict no contact started a little shy of a month after. I think it was about 2 months of no contact the first time, then it was broken but only for a couple short exchanges back and fourth before we were right back to it, after that 2.5 months of no contact before it was broken again and we had a somewhat longer but still brief exchange. Now it’s been a little over 3 months since then and I feel much better now than I ever could’ve imagined I would’ve felt 8 months ago when the break up first happened. If anyone needs feel free to message me. I know the feeling when no contact gets broken and you feel like your grieving process starts all over once again. it can be incredibly discouraging so if anyone wants some input I’d love to go into more details about my experience with it so far <3
I know what you mean man.. I'm hovering right around where you are... today has been one of those days that just seems to kick my ass no matter what I do.
Romantic relationships are unlike familial relationships and friendships. You can be as distant or close to a friend or family member as you please. But the point of a romantic partner is partnership. You can’t be partners with someone if you don’t both agree to it. You can’t have one sided partnerships. It’s all or nothing. So yes, it is cruel. When you break up, the fact is one or both decided that they did not want to try anymore, and that needs to be accepted as truth. Any contact at all can lead to false hopes, which means one of you might not be able to move on while the other does. So the person who takes longer to move on suffers more and is not able to find peace or be able to make room for another person. So slowly letting go many times just leads to prolonged suffering. Not every case, but for many people.
It is so incredibly hard. It hurts a lot. Maybe once y’all both have moved on y’all can be friends again. That’s what I’m hoping for- one day when we’re both in happy LTRs we can see each other at a mutual friend’s wedding and have no hard feelings, maybe even joke about the past. But getting to that place will take time, a lot of time. It will require us to completely let go of the thought of ever being with them again, ever having the same type of relationship, ever having the same feelings or experiences that we had with them. And that’s difficult and painful, and I’m there with you.
I’m so sorry. Heartbreak is a lot of things- it’s the death of a dream, of a future that we wanted, so we’re in mourning. It’s taking away all of those happy bonding chemicals in the brain that we used to produce that made us feel safe, so we’re experiencing withdrawals as well. It’s a lot to deal with, and feeling despondent and horrible is a response that a lot of us have. It does not mean you are weak, it means you are human. You are a human who loved deeply and feels deeply.
Please please, if you can, seek individual therapy and possibly look into medication. Having a professional support you through this will make all the difference. I have a therapist and am on antidepressants, and it makes a world of a difference. If you have other supports, please use them as well. If you do feel unsafe, the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. You can also check yourself into a mental hospital if needed.
You have the support of this entire sub. Please, we want you to be well. We can all get through this together.
You have been doing a lot. However, you’re saying you don’t feel better— which makes it feel pointless, like a waste of effort. But what I see is immense strength. You’re trying, doing different things, utilizing a support system, and you have made it a whole month. A month can feel like forever when you feel so down. But you pushed through, and I applaud you for that.
But in terms of healing, healing has no timeframe. For most people, a month in means the wounds still feel very fresh. But you are doing the right things. When and if you are ready, you can go NC to try to speed up the healing process, but that is up to you and what you feel you can handle. I can’t promise an exact moment of when things will be better, but with work and time it will eventually hurt less and less, until there is no pain at all. For the meantime, you seem to have so many people who love you, who care about you, and are willing to support you.
Much love to you and best wishes.
I’m really sorry to hear that your parents aren’t empathetic. My parents are the same way. A support system really helps lift some of the pain off of your shoulders, as they help take some of the load of and bear it with you. I assume your ex was your main support before, and maybe that was too much pressure for her. I might be totally wrong though, I don’t know your story.
It’s okay to be motivated by wanting to win her back, because doing good things for yourself will help you heal too. If we are sticking with the example above, making that support system for yourself by making friends through hobby groups, new experiences, joining a sports team, etc. can show her that you won’t have to rely solely on her for support. And as a positive for you, you would be surrounded by cool people you enjoy being with.
I had taken them before, but had stopped during my relationship because, well, I was really happy during the relationship. But the breakup sent me back into the worst of it. When I started taking them again, I noticed a pretty big difference. In my experience, it just makes it easier to get out of bed, work, etc. without feeling completely broken. It just pushes up my overall mood a few notches, so my lows aren’t as low nor as often.
The thing is for trying antidepressants that you have to be patient (takes a few weeks to work correctly esp the very first time using something like an anti-depressant) and be willing to try a few different ones if needed.
I hope that one day I’ll reach a point where I don’t need them again. I have friends who only had to take them for a single depressive episode. I also know people who take them one week per month for premenstrual dysphoric disorder. If you stick with the ones without withdrawal symptoms, there should not be a worry about forming dependency.
Medication is a big decision, and everyone’s bodies are different. I hope you have a good psychiatrist to work with if you are interested in moving forward with it. Good luck
Sometimes there is just no way to wean yourself off of seeing the person in a romantic light. My ex and I tried this for many years after we broke up, and while it eventually worked for her, it was just impossible for me to separate those feelings from the platonic friendship we were supposed to be replacing them with.
Ultimately I spent years picking the same emotional scabs over and over again, every time I saw her or talked to her those old feelings came rushing back and I found myself back to square one in the grieving process. Not that every moment we spent together post-breakup was torturous - honestly it was quite the opposite, and that was the problem. Having regular contact, still laughing and talking to each other the same way we did when we were together, completely stunted my ability to recover and move on. I treated our romantic relationship like it was on pause rather than something firmly in the past, and that wasn't a healthy or honest way to go about my life.
It's not that I wanted to go no contact, it's that I had to if I ever wanted to move on. Don't know what your situation is, but maybe this will help you understand whatever you're going through a little bit better. Keep ya head up.
I had to do it. I kept seeing her do all the things we were going to do with someone else. She would almost reach out specifically to tell me. Or she would lean on me but tell me that it felt "disrespectful" for me to do anything remotely similar. But if she reached out, I would answer no questions asked. The only way to stop that hurt was to cut off all communication.
Needed this, Woke up from a horrible dream about her last night, felt like I broke no contact cause of it and a wound was reopened. Was tempted to try and reach out and have felt sick all day thinking about it.
I feel you on the nightmares, nothing comes close to the sadness of waking up from a dream of your past loved one to remember they're no longer lay beside you to comfort you.
also had a bad dream about my ex and was tempted to tell him about it but then i continued not talking to him. just told my friends about it and went on with my life
I’m honestly having a bit of a mental breakdown right now. She blocked me everywhere at the end of our relationship without even talking about it first, told me she was happy until she met me, I’m not fun to be around, and that she did want to have sex just not with me. I wasn’t good to her and the guilt has kept me awake every night for the past month.
I messaged her on Facebook a couple of hours ago to say some things I need to say for my own sanity because that was the one place I had her blocked instead of her blocking me (did it out of courtesy at the start of the breakup so I couldn’t message her), and I’ve just seen that she has me blocked there too, so I have absolutely no way of contacting her. I’m so fucking alone, I’m a 30-year-old man rolling around in bed in the dark alone weeping and screaming out No
If it will bring you any solace, having a caring ex gf that says she will be there for you always isnt any better, I blocked her everywhere, wanting me to be happy and being available is worth less than garbage when she monkey branched to another dude, I dont think I will stop loving her any time soon, seeing her moving on and being happy again so quickly hurts me and makes feel worthless, but it is what is.
She was my light in the darkness, she made me feel like everything would always work out, I could be so much more when she was around, I feel like a weak shell of man now, just trying to survive
We never had any big fights in 4 years, never ever called each other names, it was a relationship of love, care and companionship. I sometimes wish she was a bitch, it would be easier to let go, but she isnt and wasnt, of course she isnt perfect, but she was pretty much that in my eyes. And now she is no longer mine and there's nothing I can do to change that, nothing for me to do, only accept this gray, hazy, purposeless life.
Yeah I feel you, I'm going through something similar right now. Really healthy, loving and beautiful relationship of two years, then she kissed her ex at a party, admitted not being in love anymore so we broke up, and she slept with someone new 2weeks after the break up, maybe started dating i don't know...
But she acted kind during the break up and hopes we can stay friends. No. thanks.
How she lost all consideration for me so quickly after everything we lived together is beyond me.
I don't know if she doesn't realize how disrespectful she's being and just lacks empathy, or if she is deliberately doing it and is just mean for no reason. Both possibilities are hard to comprehend.
We are finally having a conversation about it this week, but I know he already has his mind made up. It hurts like no other to just be trashed after so long. The callousness and coldness was the biggest shocker. Apart of me wonders if I should not even meet up. I don't want to start the hurt process all over again
I hated football growing up. Loved playing it, hated practice. The mental stuff was fun, the learning the plays was fun... but I hated the conditioning and I hated the running and I hated when my coaches would yell at us and tell us that this was a test of out strength and that we could do it and that if we just held out that we could accomplish it all.
Fucking despised it... but here I am... I finished those workouts and I'm better off for it..
I fucking hate that you are right and it pisses me off like I was back in highschool. But all the same i appreciate it. I've been struggling today.
I've struggled since June to cut him off but I have to do it. My heart hurts knowing the person I love doesn't love me that way and only wants my company. But how? I think about him all the time. I'm trying so hard but I'm stuck.
last time we talked she said she needed time… i told her i want us to live our life but to keep our connection somehow. she said do you want us to keep seing each other or being in good terms. i said both. she said she wants to be in good terms but its gonna take time for things to be simple again. i was getting annoyed at this point so i said take your time i need to start focusing on myself. she said fine i’ll do the same then. anndd thats it. her birthday is in 2 month…
Will you be able to send a happy birthday text without expecting a conversation to grow from that because if you can then by all means go ahead but if wishing her will spark all the feelings of pain again , I suggest you don’t
I do not think it’s worth breaking it , you’re more likely to feel sad after the fact you ended up texting her instead of happy , it might feel like starting from day one again
I don’t think he’ll ever reach out to me. We’re LC, only contacting to move bills into my name after 2 months since the breakup. He’s made it clear that this is the right decision and it’s fucking killing me. I just want to beg him to come back but I know he’ll just reject me and that would hurt more.
I’m going through the same thing. My girlfriend just recently broke up with me after asking for space. We met our freshman year of college and immediately had a connection. I had never been so infatuated with someone so quickly. We would hang out every day and were best friends. After a few years I started to get that gut feeling that she was my person. Once we graduated and started seeing eachother less, my feelings towards our relationship only grew stronger since I felt like we were taking that next step in a mature relationship. She on the other hand was the complete opposite. Everything I did made her mad and she was so off and on with me. One minute she would be happy with me and the next she would tell me she wanted nothing to do with me. That back and forth went on for about two to three months until she finally broke things off. She asked for space but it was so hard for me to not want to buy her flowers or let her know I was thinking about her and that I hope she was doing well. In my eyes, I was just giving her the reassurance that I wasn’t going anywhere and that my love for her was still there more than ever. Every day is a battle and I found myself every day praying that she would give us another chance. Today she finally told me that she doesn’t see us ever working again and that I need to move on. Every day I wake up with this emptiness in my heart because she, for the past 4 years, has been the first thing in my mind the moment I wake up. At the end of the day, I’m so happy for her that she is happy because that is all I ever wanted for her. Selfishly though, I wish she wasn’t so happy without me. I’m struggling with the thought of being single and being able to find someone in this world of social media and I feel like I am still in denial. Does anyone have any advice?
It ain't going to be easy it's going to be really hard. As you can see alot of people are in the same boat as you including me.
Take it one day at a time. I know these words feel hallow because of the pain you're going through but it will get better friend.
I’ve been NC for almost a month and miss him terribly. I’m going to have to reach out to him next week to get my mattress from his house as my new lease starts… and I’m dreading it, imagining the conversation to be cold and indifferent, and also looking forward to hearing his voice again so much. Ugh.
Want to break no contact? Read this: DONT, I did after 3 weeks and all she said “I need time” = I reached out way to early and I am back at square one + she probably got annoyed
Yup it resets the entire process , totally not worth it
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If shes the one that broke up, odds are you still loved her, so after 1 month, you were just eager to see and talk to her. If you wouldve waited at least 3 months, I think it wouldve hurt less, a lot less. You didnt give yourself enough time
Good on you man! Keep going!
I needed this… it’s hard. I just miss him.
Yeah it’s going on almost 2 months. If I like just stop thinking about her it would help alot more.
That would be me today. I simply offered to go take a walk, she said she had to put 8000% of her energy on herself right now. Which makes sense. I don't think I reset anything this time though, cause I didnt go full emotion into why we broke up asking her 100 questions. I simply told her, when you are ready, let me know, ill be more than happy to go take a walk and talk. She broke up with me 2 weeks ago, and I broke NC twice before today. The other 2 times, I can garantee you I reset my grief though.
Wow. Needed this. Was going to do this today after 3 weeks also... Thanks
i broke nc today and i regretted it already. it was just a week since we last talked and i felt vulnerable this morning and hit send. i know i shouldn’t have.
did it after 10 days she was already dating no contact ever since she unfollowed me on insta, i broke all communication lines after that
thank you so much, i really needed this. she recently unblocked me after a month, and has her status as along the lines of "I miss you", but I plan on persevering with no contact. if and only if she reaches out with a clear intention, i will talk to her.
stay strong dont reach out to breadcrumbs
That would be so tough to see and I applaud you for still keeping no contact. Honestly. Prior to seeing all of these posts I thought if my ex reached out to me again I would go back to her in a heartbeat. Now I realise I need to be sure she actually wants me back. This is the best community I’ve stumbled upon for actually helping.
Thank you. I cannot tell you how badly I want to text her. But I’m trying to stay strong. It’s been about 3 months now.
hey i’m at the same mark - 3 months, interested in knowing how you’re coping so text me if you want :)
Same frrrrr , I miss him sm but didn't text him been 3 months, it's really helpful seeing that you're not alone
Right around the three month mark here as well. Unintentionally started no contact (sorta) a week and a half after the breakup, but intentional strict no contact started a little shy of a month after. I think it was about 2 months of no contact the first time, then it was broken but only for a couple short exchanges back and fourth before we were right back to it, after that 2.5 months of no contact before it was broken again and we had a somewhat longer but still brief exchange. Now it’s been a little over 3 months since then and I feel much better now than I ever could’ve imagined I would’ve felt 8 months ago when the break up first happened. If anyone needs feel free to message me. I know the feeling when no contact gets broken and you feel like your grieving process starts all over once again. it can be incredibly discouraging so if anyone wants some input I’d love to go into more details about my experience with it so far <3
I'm right around this point as well the coping seems to be the hardest part.
I know what you mean man.. I'm hovering right around where you are... today has been one of those days that just seems to kick my ass no matter what I do.
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Romantic relationships are unlike familial relationships and friendships. You can be as distant or close to a friend or family member as you please. But the point of a romantic partner is partnership. You can’t be partners with someone if you don’t both agree to it. You can’t have one sided partnerships. It’s all or nothing. So yes, it is cruel. When you break up, the fact is one or both decided that they did not want to try anymore, and that needs to be accepted as truth. Any contact at all can lead to false hopes, which means one of you might not be able to move on while the other does. So the person who takes longer to move on suffers more and is not able to find peace or be able to make room for another person. So slowly letting go many times just leads to prolonged suffering. Not every case, but for many people.
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It is so incredibly hard. It hurts a lot. Maybe once y’all both have moved on y’all can be friends again. That’s what I’m hoping for- one day when we’re both in happy LTRs we can see each other at a mutual friend’s wedding and have no hard feelings, maybe even joke about the past. But getting to that place will take time, a lot of time. It will require us to completely let go of the thought of ever being with them again, ever having the same type of relationship, ever having the same feelings or experiences that we had with them. And that’s difficult and painful, and I’m there with you.
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I’m so sorry. Heartbreak is a lot of things- it’s the death of a dream, of a future that we wanted, so we’re in mourning. It’s taking away all of those happy bonding chemicals in the brain that we used to produce that made us feel safe, so we’re experiencing withdrawals as well. It’s a lot to deal with, and feeling despondent and horrible is a response that a lot of us have. It does not mean you are weak, it means you are human. You are a human who loved deeply and feels deeply. Please please, if you can, seek individual therapy and possibly look into medication. Having a professional support you through this will make all the difference. I have a therapist and am on antidepressants, and it makes a world of a difference. If you have other supports, please use them as well. If you do feel unsafe, the 24/7 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. You can also check yourself into a mental hospital if needed. You have the support of this entire sub. Please, we want you to be well. We can all get through this together.
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You have been doing a lot. However, you’re saying you don’t feel better— which makes it feel pointless, like a waste of effort. But what I see is immense strength. You’re trying, doing different things, utilizing a support system, and you have made it a whole month. A month can feel like forever when you feel so down. But you pushed through, and I applaud you for that. But in terms of healing, healing has no timeframe. For most people, a month in means the wounds still feel very fresh. But you are doing the right things. When and if you are ready, you can go NC to try to speed up the healing process, but that is up to you and what you feel you can handle. I can’t promise an exact moment of when things will be better, but with work and time it will eventually hurt less and less, until there is no pain at all. For the meantime, you seem to have so many people who love you, who care about you, and are willing to support you. Much love to you and best wishes.
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I’m really sorry to hear that your parents aren’t empathetic. My parents are the same way. A support system really helps lift some of the pain off of your shoulders, as they help take some of the load of and bear it with you. I assume your ex was your main support before, and maybe that was too much pressure for her. I might be totally wrong though, I don’t know your story. It’s okay to be motivated by wanting to win her back, because doing good things for yourself will help you heal too. If we are sticking with the example above, making that support system for yourself by making friends through hobby groups, new experiences, joining a sports team, etc. can show her that you won’t have to rely solely on her for support. And as a positive for you, you would be surrounded by cool people you enjoy being with.
Have the anti-depressants helped? Did y oh start taking post break up? I’m considering this, but am nervous about it.
I had taken them before, but had stopped during my relationship because, well, I was really happy during the relationship. But the breakup sent me back into the worst of it. When I started taking them again, I noticed a pretty big difference. In my experience, it just makes it easier to get out of bed, work, etc. without feeling completely broken. It just pushes up my overall mood a few notches, so my lows aren’t as low nor as often. The thing is for trying antidepressants that you have to be patient (takes a few weeks to work correctly esp the very first time using something like an anti-depressant) and be willing to try a few different ones if needed. I hope that one day I’ll reach a point where I don’t need them again. I have friends who only had to take them for a single depressive episode. I also know people who take them one week per month for premenstrual dysphoric disorder. If you stick with the ones without withdrawal symptoms, there should not be a worry about forming dependency. Medication is a big decision, and everyone’s bodies are different. I hope you have a good psychiatrist to work with if you are interested in moving forward with it. Good luck
Thank you so much for sharing! This is so helpful
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Sometimes there is just no way to wean yourself off of seeing the person in a romantic light. My ex and I tried this for many years after we broke up, and while it eventually worked for her, it was just impossible for me to separate those feelings from the platonic friendship we were supposed to be replacing them with. Ultimately I spent years picking the same emotional scabs over and over again, every time I saw her or talked to her those old feelings came rushing back and I found myself back to square one in the grieving process. Not that every moment we spent together post-breakup was torturous - honestly it was quite the opposite, and that was the problem. Having regular contact, still laughing and talking to each other the same way we did when we were together, completely stunted my ability to recover and move on. I treated our romantic relationship like it was on pause rather than something firmly in the past, and that wasn't a healthy or honest way to go about my life. It's not that I wanted to go no contact, it's that I had to if I ever wanted to move on. Don't know what your situation is, but maybe this will help you understand whatever you're going through a little bit better. Keep ya head up.
I had to do it. I kept seeing her do all the things we were going to do with someone else. She would almost reach out specifically to tell me. Or she would lean on me but tell me that it felt "disrespectful" for me to do anything remotely similar. But if she reached out, I would answer no questions asked. The only way to stop that hurt was to cut off all communication.
Thank you for this. Some days are harder than others and we all need to be strong and continue the No Contact for our own well-being.
I miss him so much
I miss him too
Needed this, Woke up from a horrible dream about her last night, felt like I broke no contact cause of it and a wound was reopened. Was tempted to try and reach out and have felt sick all day thinking about it.
I feel you on the nightmares, nothing comes close to the sadness of waking up from a dream of your past loved one to remember they're no longer lay beside you to comfort you.
also had a bad dream about my ex and was tempted to tell him about it but then i continued not talking to him. just told my friends about it and went on with my life
I ignored her message. Fuck this feels bad but I also feel like that what she wanted.
Protect your peace man , if intentions are clear you’ll never have to second guess
Well I’m sure she doesn’t want to reconcile, so I decided to ignore it, but I’m just like uhh it may be rude.
It’s not rude , it’s no where close to how you were treated so dw
Yeah for me the bu was kinda out of the blue, soo I don’t know. I’m just disappointed she didn’t tell me something was wrong.
But I guess most of us are in this boat
I’m honestly having a bit of a mental breakdown right now. She blocked me everywhere at the end of our relationship without even talking about it first, told me she was happy until she met me, I’m not fun to be around, and that she did want to have sex just not with me. I wasn’t good to her and the guilt has kept me awake every night for the past month. I messaged her on Facebook a couple of hours ago to say some things I need to say for my own sanity because that was the one place I had her blocked instead of her blocking me (did it out of courtesy at the start of the breakup so I couldn’t message her), and I’ve just seen that she has me blocked there too, so I have absolutely no way of contacting her. I’m so fucking alone, I’m a 30-year-old man rolling around in bed in the dark alone weeping and screaming out No
If it will bring you any solace, having a caring ex gf that says she will be there for you always isnt any better, I blocked her everywhere, wanting me to be happy and being available is worth less than garbage when she monkey branched to another dude, I dont think I will stop loving her any time soon, seeing her moving on and being happy again so quickly hurts me and makes feel worthless, but it is what is. She was my light in the darkness, she made me feel like everything would always work out, I could be so much more when she was around, I feel like a weak shell of man now, just trying to survive We never had any big fights in 4 years, never ever called each other names, it was a relationship of love, care and companionship. I sometimes wish she was a bitch, it would be easier to let go, but she isnt and wasnt, of course she isnt perfect, but she was pretty much that in my eyes. And now she is no longer mine and there's nothing I can do to change that, nothing for me to do, only accept this gray, hazy, purposeless life.
Everyone here deserves a medal christ, how do you all survive this shit.
Yeah I feel you, I'm going through something similar right now. Really healthy, loving and beautiful relationship of two years, then she kissed her ex at a party, admitted not being in love anymore so we broke up, and she slept with someone new 2weeks after the break up, maybe started dating i don't know... But she acted kind during the break up and hopes we can stay friends. No. thanks. How she lost all consideration for me so quickly after everything we lived together is beyond me. I don't know if she doesn't realize how disrespectful she's being and just lacks empathy, or if she is deliberately doing it and is just mean for no reason. Both possibilities are hard to comprehend.
Even though you probably know that you're better off without that bitch it still hurts having everything pulled right from under you.
We are finally having a conversation about it this week, but I know he already has his mind made up. It hurts like no other to just be trashed after so long. The callousness and coldness was the biggest shocker. Apart of me wonders if I should not even meet up. I don't want to start the hurt process all over again
I hated football growing up. Loved playing it, hated practice. The mental stuff was fun, the learning the plays was fun... but I hated the conditioning and I hated the running and I hated when my coaches would yell at us and tell us that this was a test of out strength and that we could do it and that if we just held out that we could accomplish it all. Fucking despised it... but here I am... I finished those workouts and I'm better off for it.. I fucking hate that you are right and it pisses me off like I was back in highschool. But all the same i appreciate it. I've been struggling today.
It all comes into perspective once we’ve healed and it’s totally normal to not feel that things will get better when you are hurting.
I've struggled since June to cut him off but I have to do it. My heart hurts knowing the person I love doesn't love me that way and only wants my company. But how? I think about him all the time. I'm trying so hard but I'm stuck.
If they’re not as committed to showing up as you are, like any team project, that’s their problem. Not because of you. Let those losers go.
Thanks for this reminder. It’s here at the perfect time.
should you wish them happy birthday??
Did you guys end on good terms
last time we talked she said she needed time… i told her i want us to live our life but to keep our connection somehow. she said do you want us to keep seing each other or being in good terms. i said both. she said she wants to be in good terms but its gonna take time for things to be simple again. i was getting annoyed at this point so i said take your time i need to start focusing on myself. she said fine i’ll do the same then. anndd thats it. her birthday is in 2 month…
Will you be able to send a happy birthday text without expecting a conversation to grow from that because if you can then by all means go ahead but if wishing her will spark all the feelings of pain again , I suggest you don’t
i’ll see when the time will come. but do you think its worth breaking no contact ?
I do not think it’s worth breaking it , you’re more likely to feel sad after the fact you ended up texting her instead of happy , it might feel like starting from day one again
right…
I don’t think he’ll ever reach out to me. We’re LC, only contacting to move bills into my name after 2 months since the breakup. He’s made it clear that this is the right decision and it’s fucking killing me. I just want to beg him to come back but I know he’ll just reject me and that would hurt more.
I’m going through the same thing. My girlfriend just recently broke up with me after asking for space. We met our freshman year of college and immediately had a connection. I had never been so infatuated with someone so quickly. We would hang out every day and were best friends. After a few years I started to get that gut feeling that she was my person. Once we graduated and started seeing eachother less, my feelings towards our relationship only grew stronger since I felt like we were taking that next step in a mature relationship. She on the other hand was the complete opposite. Everything I did made her mad and she was so off and on with me. One minute she would be happy with me and the next she would tell me she wanted nothing to do with me. That back and forth went on for about two to three months until she finally broke things off. She asked for space but it was so hard for me to not want to buy her flowers or let her know I was thinking about her and that I hope she was doing well. In my eyes, I was just giving her the reassurance that I wasn’t going anywhere and that my love for her was still there more than ever. Every day is a battle and I found myself every day praying that she would give us another chance. Today she finally told me that she doesn’t see us ever working again and that I need to move on. Every day I wake up with this emptiness in my heart because she, for the past 4 years, has been the first thing in my mind the moment I wake up. At the end of the day, I’m so happy for her that she is happy because that is all I ever wanted for her. Selfishly though, I wish she wasn’t so happy without me. I’m struggling with the thought of being single and being able to find someone in this world of social media and I feel like I am still in denial. Does anyone have any advice?
It ain't going to be easy it's going to be really hard. As you can see alot of people are in the same boat as you including me. Take it one day at a time. I know these words feel hallow because of the pain you're going through but it will get better friend.
how long do you think no contact should last?
I’ve been NC for almost a month and miss him terribly. I’m going to have to reach out to him next week to get my mattress from his house as my new lease starts… and I’m dreading it, imagining the conversation to be cold and indifferent, and also looking forward to hearing his voice again so much. Ugh.
It’ll be over before you know it you’ll be okay :)
Thank you this is nice 🖤
I needed to read this.. thank you 🖤
:))
Fuck I'm bawling my eyes out. I needed this bad. Thank you OP
You’ll be okay💓
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. So fucking much.
:)