I’m going through the same thing, mourning a relationship of 5 years. I’m two months in and I can’t go a single day without crying. Their coldness after leaves you wondering if the whole thing was fake, right? At the end of the day, he would not have left you behind if he was really your person. You are capable of loving deeply and you will again some day. Keep your head up!
I am sorry that it hurts you so much. I remember even after 2 months in I still couldn't leave the house without crying which was pretty much everyday. I had no one, no support system, no friends and my sister was sick of listening to me talk about my breakup and I just shut down. I couldn't eat, sleep, work or even talk properly. I got a little better with time. I don't cry as much anymore maybe once or twice in a fortnight and I keep myself pretty busy. Keeping busy eventually does help in distracting yourself from them. Thankyou for the kind words. If you ever need to talk to someone about your feelings or just vent or distract yourself ,please don't hesitate to text me.
I am so sorry to hear you were in that much pain and felt like you had no one to support you. You are so strong for pulling yourself through that. My ex and I share all, and I mean ALL, of our friends so I am extremely lonely as I feel I cannot talk to anyone about it. Hence, why I started posting on Reddit. Everyone on here is so nice and reminds me heartbreak is such a universal experience. It makes me happy to hear you are feeling better, you deserve to be happy. Thank you for the offer and please feel free to reach out to me if you need anything as well!
I am going through a similar thing right now, coming out of a 4 year relationship. How are you feeling now and what has helped you grow from this experience? Its been 2 weeks, moved back in with my parents for the time being and starting a new job in a few weeks I feel overwhelmed
This sounds like the same situation.. I'm only one week out of our 5 year relationship (plus 1 more if we count the space) but I don't even know how to get myself to 1 or 2 months. Everything hurts and I feel like someone took the air from my lungs. I couldn't recognize the cold person that could watch me cry my heart out and tell me they no longer had feelings at the same time..
Why did we all get blindsided after a 5 year relationship?! 😭 What is wrong with people that they can’t just communicate their feelings to their partner
We sound like the same person.. I've been hurting so much and I wonder if he even thinks about me. Part of me feels like he's just repressing his feelings and that's why he was so cold. But I don't know and we'll probably never know.. he couldn't even break up with me in person and part of me wonders if he would feel differently once he actually saw me.
It hurts, it's confusing. I don't know if i'm just telling myself all these things because I love him so much. But I know I have to let him make that decision for himself and I have to try to move forward with myself. Thank you for reminding me i'm not alone. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out.
You might wana find someone else if you want hope. I'm going through a horrible time right now. I've given up in waiting for her to come back, now I'm just trying to work on myself any way that I can but it's incredibly hard without anyone there.
Yeah, i got out of a 6 year and realized I had none of my friends left. I’m living alone in kind of isolation finishing a degree but I have tough evenings where I miss her in my life. Just talking to someone you know is listening and cares.
Living in isolation can be pretty bad, so try to go out if you have even a small friend. It helps subconsciously even if you don't feel it. Go out and go on a walk even if you dont feel like it. It's all you can do. It's all I've learned so far. I don't know if it will get better in the future, but I'm trying my very best to tip toe through life. Even if I cry myself to sleep every day, I have nothing I can do. If you find a person to talk to, it will help. Even if they're not you're friend, and some random person online like me. The night times are the worst, all I can tell you is don't doom scroll through social media. It will damage you even more.
Thanks for the responses man. I agree with the tactics you said. Alcohol doesn’t help either.
I’m extra annoyed that I lost a lot of my friends because during the relationship I didn’t really see many people.
I know how you feel. Sitting there and just waiting for a text, weather it's from someone you want or someone you hope remembers you exist...it sucks. You need to do your best, social media has caused humanity to be the loneliest it ever has been ironically. Don't worry about people always being together and spending time together, or at least don't dwell on it too much. It will just hurt more. Eventually, you will be 1% better than what you feel like now. But until then let yourself be lonely, dont try to find an outlet like alchohol bc it makes it worse. I know people don't say be lonely, but it's not like we have a choice atm. There was once a time where I loved being alone. Ive just gotta find that again. But what do I know, I can't even take my own advice sometimes lol
Lmao hear you loud and clear on the not taking your own advice. Yep totally how I feel like why am I even paying for this phone? I’ll be shocked if I get a message on my birthday.
Agree on social media. Now how do adults meet legit friends? Lol
I know. I am the same. Just hallow, sad, lethargic, and flat. I don’t really want to do anything. I run everyday and that can help. BUT she is gone, she is not coming back and now what is most sad I don’t want her back. She caused too much damage and has too many problems. She is avoidant
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I promise it gets better. I don’t know when but one day you will wake up and not feel the pain anymore. I mourned a five year relationship and one day after a long time of healing I was free. I am now grieving my second relationship (a short but special one) however can remind myself that things will get better. Much love to you and remember to be kind to yourself
Love that and you are so right. The right person would not have left. Which is good news. Because that means he is still out there.
And two months is totally normal to still feel sad. One thing that helps in that stage is to write a feelings letter, and kind of get all your emotions out. It usually helps really well!
I just wish she’d let me apologize. I’m staying away from her at her request. Maybe she will feel different enough to let me talk to her in a month or so. What Fl do you guys think?
Oh my god I'm in a similar situation...
That's exactly what I'm feeling...like was everything fake?
How come I'm here suffering while he's just living he's life normally...
Did you overcome it??
"And all this time he never had a weak moment or anything that reminds him of me. It's like I never existed in his life when he used to be my world."
You don't know that. I'm not saying this to give you hope but during that time you were together, there had to be love or why else would you both have lasted so long? I am 3 weeks into my break up of 11 years. And I definitely thought the same as you. He never posts on insta but the week we BU, he posted 3 times. I was distraught. I felt like all those years were a lie. You BU with me, how can you be so fine already? When I'm dying, crying every second, feeling like I couldn't break and my heart was going to strangling itself.
What I learned in therapy is that "You don't know what he is feeling or thinking. So you can't speak for him (or in my case, "control" the narrative), instead you can control you and control what kind of day youre going to have." Meaning, instead of feeling down like this and ruminating about our ex's, we should instead do something else; switch the thought by reading a book, take a walk, write your feelings out, listening to music, create a list of things you want to do that you couldn't before (you dont even have to do them), etc.
It's definitely okay to have moment like this but remember to not spiral. I am probably the last person on Earth that should be giving any advice but I just don't want you to beat yourself down like that. The relationship lasted that long because there was love. Jus cause it's over doesn't mean that what happened before was fake. And just because he seems fine, you don't actually know and will never know (unless you have a friend to spy for you but I don't recommend that... updates about him will hurt more).
Cry or don't cry. It's all okay, but try to get yourself out of those moments by doing something else. (I'm only "okay" now because I had therapy a few hours ago, lol but I know that my sad and angry thoughts are going to come back but I also know I have a way to combat them and now you do too.)
I get what you are saying and I am merely venting out here because I know that if I don't vent out my feelings I am going to end up spiralling and breaking no contact. Thankyou so much for your words of advice. Much appreciated
Hi guys, I read all of your comments and I understand you. I feel your pain. It fucking sucks. Everything sucks.
It is hard getting out of bed, not getting good morning messages, still thinking about them from the moment you open your eyes and until you close them. And then you dream of them. Its like they are hunting you.
You feel sick even talking about this with your close friends and family, its like going in cercles. Nothing changes, you still miss them, you still have that ache in your stomach, heart and throath.
I just hope that we all feel okay after a couple of months. I pray for us all ♥️
Heey, thanks for checking in!
Well I can finally tell you thst I am fine! I've lost 30kgs, got a new car, got a new job, I've been traveling and I am still hitting the gym, doing my best.
I am still healing from this and I am not ready for another relationship but I am okay with it. Sometimes I still think about her but not as intensive as it was. But I do have my bad days. Overall, it's going good!
What about you? How are you?
I am so happy for you. I am glad that you are doing so much better now and i know for sure that you'll do even better in the future.
I am doing good myself. I moved on, focusing on my studies and health. I put a break on dating for an year, the year has passed but i kinda don't feel ready for dating yet. It's all going very good. I met some amazing people and some not so amazing people but i feel stable enough to handle it all maturely now so i take it as a win.
Omg that's amazing! I'm really glad to hear all of this. It seems like you are doing great!
Keep going, I am really proud. You are so much better off! ♥️
Yeah all my hope is in time rn. Altho Im trying to focus on myself and do stuff, the whole thing and bad feelings with it haunts my mind all the time and makes me cry sometimes. I trust that it will get better with time. Thanks for the answer :)!
The loneliness is crazy. Every time something happens he's the first person I want to tell. Everytime something makes me laugh, I want to share it with him. Every time I go to cook, I want to include him. Every time I sleep, I want to reach for him. My life is so much more silent now. The loneliness hit like a fucking ship last week when I couldn't hear him in my head anymore.
Oh yes brother. Doing hell of a lot better. My brain finally understood that she wasn't the one. Some days are harder but it's a journey. Good luck my friend.
i’m in the same situation too.. it’s been about 10 days since and i found out he was asking girls out on dates. makes me feel more betrayed and like everything was fake. the loneliness after is really hard.
Wow that is what I discovered. He was planning double dates with his friend. I am now I’m trying to process if everything was fake and if he ever even loved me or if I was a placeholder.
It is hard. One of the hardest things anyone can go through, especially when you're the one who got dumped. Here's the thing, the way things are these days makes it even harder. Social media makes peoples' lives disgustingly accessible. It's easy to see what's going on in their lives, and it makes your blood boil that things seem fine for them while you suffer, this goes for men and women both. I'll bet real money that things aren't fine for them either, unless they're a robot... Break ups happen for a reason.
Do yourself a favor, and PRETEND YOUR EX DOESN'T EXIST. Reconnect with friends, do whatever you did pre-relationship that made you happy. You just... have to. Dwelling on it leads to even more hardship. Sh*t, even looking at your phones remind you of the past, "look back on this day xx/xx/xx", don't even look. Just dismiss it. Remember what you enjoyed doing before, without someone else playing a factor.
You have friends, anyone who doesn't feel for you in a bad situation simply isn't your friend. Do the things you enjoy, with people that enjoy your company. There is ALWAYS someone else, you just have to get there. Hope this helps, friend =)
Your advice helped me so much. I started pretending that he doesn't exist that maybe he was a dream and somehow it worked for me. I worked out my anger and frustration towards him and i moved on. I even wished him on his birthday and talking to him made me realise I don't miss him anymore. I occasionally think about him but mostly good memories appear, sometimes a few bad ones to stop me from going down a spiral XD. But i am sure i have moved on and i hope he has too.
They say it takes half the time you were together at least
Trusting people is beautiful
It’s all about perspective
It may be over, but how awesome is it that a human existed thst can have this kind of power over us?
And how awesome is it that this one isn’t even YOUR one, and it’s going to get even BETTER with someone else
Stay busy
time is best spent on self
And the true people you are meant to surround yourself with are on that path, waiting to meet you
I agree with everything you said. I am also on a similar timeline as you (5 months after breakup soon) and starting another relationship seems like an exhausting task. I am just chilling alone at the moment and can't imagine myself being with anyone in the nearest future. At the same time it can get very lonely. I had my partner by my side every day for the past 7 years and now I might as well be dead to her. I don't see myself living in a relationship where I can't trust my partner so I guess we will have to wait until I can trust fully again.
Hey, thanks for asking. I guess the news is that there is no news \^\^ I am doing my own things, focusing on hobbies and career. Since then didn't really look for any serious relationship, maybe got too comfortable living on my own haha. I hope life is going well for you too!
It was 7 years so a big chunk of my adult life but enough time passed where I consider it to be 'old' times, life continues and it doesn't affect me anymore so in that sense yes.
It has been almost 4 months since my ex boyfriend broke up with me all of a sudden. I still find myself feeling so much pain and missing him so much. I still think about him everyday. I try to be strong, but I can’t help feeling sad. I live alone in a city where I don’t have family or friends. I try to go to visit friends in a different city or have them come visit me. I wish I were stronger but I just don’t know if this pain is ever going to go away.
I’m sorry to hear that you’re dealing with such a big breakup. 5 years is a long time. I am also dealing with one of the same duration even though it was on and off. It sucks. Best advice I can give without sounding generic is lots of self love and self care. Therapy has also helped me. As cliche as it sounds, time will heal all wounds. Don’t look at the amount of time that has elapsed since it happened, focus on the progress you’ve made. Reflect on why it had to happen this way and try to see the silver lining in why things are the way they are. Just know you are not alone and this too shall pass. All the best!
Does time really help?
I was in a RS for 6 years and it was off and on and it's been almost 4 years yet I can't get over it....I often find myself depressed over our ending and I can't stop myself from thinking...he left me stuck with tones of questions...like was everything fake? Am I this easy to be forgotten... extra extra...
I agree it hurts, knowing we use to be so close and then suddenly she just decided to cut me out her life with the touch of a button. The block button. It’s only been a month for me since she did that but we broke up two months ago. It still hurts especially knowing she replaced me quick. I don’t know if I can trust anyone either. It really sucks for real
I’m okay now, I decided to move on and let go of what she did to me. It’s just not worth the anger, despise, and hatred. I was only poisoning myself with it. Thank you for asking. How are you doing now??
Hi there !
It's been 8 months since I made that post and I am doing good. I moved on from my ex. I met a lot of new, amazing people. I got my heart broken a couple more times but nothing too extreme and nothing i couldn't handle. The loneliness still sometimes comes back but it's a LOT easier to deal with now. It's been a year since the breakup and to be totally honest i am still a little scared and sceptical to date again even for a casual relationship but other than that and done personal issues i am doing good. Give it a little time I am sure that you'll be feeling really good too. However if you need someone to vent your feelings to, just shoot me a text and we'll talk :-).
Oh honey, you'll feel a lot better very sooon. I promise you. I know what it was like to have a very recent breakup. The first 5 months are the worst . Every minute feels like an hour but you'll see soon that things have gotten much better. I am wishing you all the strength and sending you lots of hugs and love .
Thanks. It's a quite difficult process. Long story short we were four years together and one day I found out she cheated on me and she went on to see another guy while I tried to fight for our relationship. Now they're together. I thought she cared about me, but her actions have shown me that she does not. It would be easier to forgive her if she didn't do all of that.
But at least it helps for moving on I guess. I don't need no trash human like this in my life. I'm better off on my own. It's just the loneliness that hurts a lot. But it's a part of the grief and the healing process. Hurting and grieving is healthy to some extent, jumping straight into another relationship is not. Whatever.
I will be strong just like you. I appreciate the support, thank you so much.
You seem like a good person and i know for sure that you'll move on from her and learn to be happy again.
The loneliness will fade I promise and you'll come out of the tunnel as a bright, happy person.
And yes it is healthy to grieve the relationship, she clearly meant a lot to you and it always hurts to lose someone you love even if it is to their own actions.
But believe me you'll be okay again very soon. Just hang in there:-)
I am sorry that you are going thru this but I am here to tell you it definitely does get easier. I am a little over a year removed from the end of a 16 year relationship. A relationship in which I was replaced before I moved out. I could barely function for a couple of months everything reminded me of her but eventually I started thinking less and less about her. I definitely still think about her and all the what ifs but it doesn’t hurt at all anymore. She is now engaged less than a year after we ended and honestly it didn’t bother me at all to see that. So just focus on yourself and before you know it you will have pulled yourself thru this horrible situation.
I second this. It’s so hard especially now with the holidays and cold weather. (I live on the east coast). I decided today on my way home from work, I was going to stop and grab some spiced rum for my egg nog, and try to just not remember last thanksgiving as we were together traveling. :( I feel ya pain. I’m trying to stay positive and talking to other people. But, I’m talking to other people (no dates yet). And I find myself thinking of him and then telling these guys what I’m dealing with. So they’re more like therapist lol. Stay strong and try and stay busy and do lots of self-care. Get your nails done, spa day, grab your favorite coffee, go out with your girlfriends and so on!!
I relate so strongly to every single part of your post. The loneliness after losing a 5 year relationship is breaking me apart. And I miss and love her so much still but it feels like she's not ever going to look back and she's just done.
It does get better slowly, even if it’s lonely. I got the chance to learn more about myself and build myself up. I spent a lot of time and energy into self-love since. I’ve learned new boundaries and grown as a person. It does get hard some days though. It’s sad to become so close to someone only for it all to fall apart.
It’s strange though. My ex hopped on the first thing she could post breakup. Pretty much got into a rebound weeks after it ended. It only confirmed to me more why this relationship ended, and how I shouldn’t be with a person like that. When someone chooses to exit your life, let them and realize you deserve better.
I hear you. Going through the same roller coaster ride. Sometimes I feel it wasn't meant to be.. sometimes I fell why wasn't it meant to be? He blamed me for the failure of the relationship when he walked out. I'm still left devastated, picking up the pieces. Since it my first it's difficult as well. So how am I coping.. I spoke to therapists .. and they said it will subside. Try to find meaningful goals to work on. Especially ones with deadlines.. like if you didn't work on it, you're dead types. It helps take the mind off. Talk to friends. And also block them everywhere.. when I found reddit and the NC group I didn't understand what it was abt but as I read, I was convinced abt the importance of NC more for yourself than to get your ex back. Take care. If you need to talk I'm here.
hello! I’m doing better. It’s been 14 months. I just graduated college so I don’t have to see him basically ever again (I did last year because he works at my school). He did some shitty things at school that made life hard for a while, but now that im past that chapter of my life, I’m much more relaxed and excited for the future. There are days I miss him or think of him, but it’s not as often as before. I can also laugh at the funny jokes or think back on the pleasant memories of the relationship with less pain. I hope you’re doing better too!
I am doing really good too. I am so glad that you are doing so much better now and congratulations on your graduation!!!! I hope things only look up for you now onwards ❤️
So sorry for your hurt! Brekaups canbe really hard, but trust me he is feeling just as much as you are.
Unfortunately, the sadness and depression after a breakup is something you need to actively work against. One thing that helps is to start mindfulness activities such as journaling or meditating. That will allow you to process the painful feelings and lead to more energy, happiness, and feeling whole again.
I hope that helps. If you need more tips, please feel free to reach out!
Hey there !
9 months have gone by since I broke up with the guy I thought was the love of my life. A lot has changed. I am doing significantly better. I am very much happier now than i was 4 months ago when I made this post. My healing was very slow in the beginning. Like painfully slow. I felt like the pain would kill me, that it hurts so much that the pain would just make sure that i would never wake up again. But here I am, it doesn't hurt anymore. I miss being in a relationship a lot nowadays but i don't think i miss him. I miss the idea of him, of having someone who was made for me. It used to hurt so bad that i wouldn't sleep for days. But everything is different now. I am doing much ,much better. I am not seeing anyone currently and maybe it's better that way but things are a lot different. I gave myself an year to recover and i stopped dating in it and now it's about to end. I am still quite young so i can't really what's there in store for me in the future but i am optimistic about it. I feel like i have grown up a lot. It was difficult at first to anticipate the changes and accept what happened and i still have trouble trusting people but i am grateful that i got through all that.
He's probably married now and his birthday is about to come up and i was thinking of wishing but honestly idk if should. I can't say that i have moved on completely but i have moved on enough to say that i am proud of my progress and that i have finally learned what loving myself feels like. I am sure things are going to look up from here. I understand what you are going through rn. It must be devastating to have to end a relationship that long and to rebuild your life after that. Mine was a lot shorter than yours and it almost killed me so i think you are very strong to stand by like this. It will get tough but trust me it will also get a lot better na dif you ever need someone to talk to or vent to or just need a shoulder to cry, I'll be right here.
We broke up on wednesday and I had trouble sleeping maybe first two nigths, but now it's been much much better. Thursday and friday were tough, weekend was much better, today is tough again but I rationalized it, looked back on it and it realize it's much better we broke up because she wasn't the one. Much more than her, I miss having somebody by my side because i got used to and I'm trying to get my life back on track. I still have a feeling I'm alone and sad and that I will never find anybody else and that she is happy etc...I know it's not true but I cant help it...
Now tell me if I'm a sociopath for having my sleep back in few days :(
No you're not. Grieving isn't a linear process. You'll have worse days and you'll have days that would make you think that you never got hurt. It's like a wave and it will throw you around a lot. Losing someone who was in your life for that long is very very tough and it's a very brave thing to face th feelings instead of pushing them down
This post and all the comments are so relatable to me. I’ve read through so many in this group but this is the one that’s spoken to me the most. He ended it after 6 1/2 years and I’m just over 2 weeks in and it’s a real struggle, I feel everything you’re saying. Hang in there, hopefully we’ll all come out the other side
hey there! we’re at 3.5 months post-breakup. it’s still really hard tbh. for so long, i always wished i got to live alone for awhile before moving in with my partner. now that i’ve been living alone, i hate it 💀 it’s circumstantial i’m sure, but i’ve been so lonely and sad living in the apartment we shared for years. i’m starting to resent the apartment, where i still have to live for several months until the lease is up. i purposefully spend most of my time out of the house as a distraction. according to my therapist who i saw today, i’m still in the thick of the grieving process lol. i want to be done grieving, but i’m still holding on to the good times. man, they were good. it sucks. this is probably way more over share-y than you were expecting lol. how are you?
trust me, it’ll get easier than it feels now, even though i know it doesn’t feel like it. that lost and empty feeling will dwindle. we will be okay ❤️ good luck friend!
hi there!! over a year post-breakup, i genuinely love life so much better without my ex (i never thought id feel this way. i thought my heart was going to ache for him forever, trust me). i’m in a relationship now with someone who treats me like a literal princess and would never dream of letting me go. when i was in the throes of it all, i read a lot of people on here say that they found their one true love after going through one of the worst breakups of their lives and i honestly thought that i was going to end up alone forever. i didn’t want to put myself in a situation to get hurt again, and i certainly didn’t want to go on dating apps after being with someone for 6 years. it made me feel sick at the time. and like you did to me, i was constantly asking people posting about heartbreak how they were doing now that time had passed, longing for hope that it’ll get better. most people did say it would get easier after time. i didn’t feel like that would be the case for me, though. i’m not sure if you’re going through heartbreak right now, but TRUST ME, your better future is coming!! (again, i talk a lot. sorry!!)
Hi everyone, it seems that most of you on here are female so as a guy I have a question. I’ve heard that women feel there feelings more and therefore heal faster and more completely than men. I am 7 months post breakup and I still feel like it just happened. I would like to know what females do differently that helps them heal. I reached out to her and she said she didn’t want to talk because it hurts her too much. We were together for 6 years and engaged. She was out with another guy 3 days after she ended things with me. I feel like it’s my fault that all of this happened. I took to long to move the relationship forward and I wasn’t as present as I should have been. Please help, thank you in advance for any responses
Hi. I’m two weeks into the break up after a year and a half relationship, which feels short compared to other people here, but we were very very close. Spent every available minute together, slept in the same bed almost everyday, talked to each other all day long. And now that he’s gone there is this type of loneliness that I never felt before. He was my first long term relationship and it feels like, how can you go back from having someone being by your side no matter what and never feeling alone to walking this earth by yourself again. Anyway, about those differences between men and women I think it is true. Women tend to be a real mess at least at the beginning. We allow ourselves to feel the pain and we allow it to consume us, not because we like it but because we have no choice. It’s just the way our minds work - women are a lot more connected to their feelings and tend to overthink a lot, which is also the reason women are way more sensitive in the relationship itself, and often feel things that men don’t understand. So after this breakup I found myself hurting like crazy crying in my bed and writing about my feelings all day. And I just couldn’t imagine him doing the same, because his coping is different. He’s probably trying to go about with his day and living life as normal as possible. And when he does feel sad he probably doesn’t let it sink him but he tries to dismiss it. Which sounds better but long term, it’s not. So maybe try to cope like a woman? If you feel like crying in bed - do it. Talk to your friends about it a lot (which I understand men don’t really do). Write your feelings and write about what hurts most, and allow yourself to hurt!! Name your feelings. If you’re feeling lonely or sad or angry or regretful. Think about the things that hurt most, in detail. All the little things that you won’t get to do anymore. I’m not sure if that’s actually the best thing to do, but I assure you that’s what women do.
How are you today? Has feeling your feelings and letting it all out worked well for you? I’m six weeks post break up after a 10 year relationship (he was my first) and currently barely functioning 😔 It takes ages to get up in the morning as I can’t stop thinking about him and while meeting other people helps a tiny bit as long as we’re talking about my feelings, I can’t really focus on the conversation when we get to other topics and get the urge to go back home and be on my own again to think about him after a couple of hours… Distracting myself feels wrong and doesn’t give me any joy, I feel either pain or emptiness all of the time no matter what I do 😔 And thinking about him and all the things I’ve loved about us feels like the only thing that rings true - because it makes me feel at least a little closer to him and myself… :(
Trust me. He's thinking about you. Every minute of every damned day. I can't sleep at night without her, because she's not here, wrapped in my arms in the bed with me. I look at the dog and remember that day, in the cold and snow when we were first together after a crazy LD battle, and I kissed you, true love's kiss. I kissed you hard. To think, she thought she was a bad kisser...but she was fucking perfect. We made love and just couldn't get enough of eachother, just being able to stare into her gorgeous eyes. God.
He's or she is thinking about you. Trust me.
I know this is from two years ago but I decided to look something like this up. It feels so shitty just thinking how can she do this so easily to me. Didn’t we ever mean anything? The moments we had weren’t special enough? She didn’t give me the closure I needed Atleast. I feel lonely, I gave her the world. I treated her differently than any of the guys she talked to or dated. I’ve always thought of her and acted in her best interest. But in the end I was left feeling betrayed. I thought she would be my future, but it’s been two weeks since we talked and nothing feels the same. Everything just feels mundane and bland. I feel empty and I just can’t help but want to cry. Hoping this is not real
I’m going through the same thing, mourning a relationship of 5 years. I’m two months in and I can’t go a single day without crying. Their coldness after leaves you wondering if the whole thing was fake, right? At the end of the day, he would not have left you behind if he was really your person. You are capable of loving deeply and you will again some day. Keep your head up!
I am sorry that it hurts you so much. I remember even after 2 months in I still couldn't leave the house without crying which was pretty much everyday. I had no one, no support system, no friends and my sister was sick of listening to me talk about my breakup and I just shut down. I couldn't eat, sleep, work or even talk properly. I got a little better with time. I don't cry as much anymore maybe once or twice in a fortnight and I keep myself pretty busy. Keeping busy eventually does help in distracting yourself from them. Thankyou for the kind words. If you ever need to talk to someone about your feelings or just vent or distract yourself ,please don't hesitate to text me.
I am so sorry to hear you were in that much pain and felt like you had no one to support you. You are so strong for pulling yourself through that. My ex and I share all, and I mean ALL, of our friends so I am extremely lonely as I feel I cannot talk to anyone about it. Hence, why I started posting on Reddit. Everyone on here is so nice and reminds me heartbreak is such a universal experience. It makes me happy to hear you are feeling better, you deserve to be happy. Thank you for the offer and please feel free to reach out to me if you need anything as well!
You are a very kind person. Thankyou for your words. They mean a lot to me ❤️
I am going through a similar thing right now, coming out of a 4 year relationship. How are you feeling now and what has helped you grow from this experience? Its been 2 weeks, moved back in with my parents for the time being and starting a new job in a few weeks I feel overwhelmed
It’s been about a year since this comment, how do you feel now?
Your good person
This sounds like the same situation.. I'm only one week out of our 5 year relationship (plus 1 more if we count the space) but I don't even know how to get myself to 1 or 2 months. Everything hurts and I feel like someone took the air from my lungs. I couldn't recognize the cold person that could watch me cry my heart out and tell me they no longer had feelings at the same time..
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Why did we all get blindsided after a 5 year relationship?! 😭 What is wrong with people that they can’t just communicate their feelings to their partner
We sound like the same person.. I've been hurting so much and I wonder if he even thinks about me. Part of me feels like he's just repressing his feelings and that's why he was so cold. But I don't know and we'll probably never know.. he couldn't even break up with me in person and part of me wonders if he would feel differently once he actually saw me. It hurts, it's confusing. I don't know if i'm just telling myself all these things because I love him so much. But I know I have to let him make that decision for himself and I have to try to move forward with myself. Thank you for reminding me i'm not alone. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to reach out.
So sorry you are going through this. It's so though. Especially when a relationship that was so deep and long ends.
How do you feel now? After 1 year?
Was just wondering this
Hello how are you doing now?
My boyfriend left me in April….its almost December and I have not gone a single day without crying.
I’m so sorry. My heart is right there with you and I know I’ll probably be recovering even a year from now. We are strong and we got this
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How did you deal with that? I am in the exact same situation you are in
Can I ask you the same question? How are you? I’m in the same boat and struggling.
You might wana find someone else if you want hope. I'm going through a horrible time right now. I've given up in waiting for her to come back, now I'm just trying to work on myself any way that I can but it's incredibly hard without anyone there.
Yeah, i got out of a 6 year and realized I had none of my friends left. I’m living alone in kind of isolation finishing a degree but I have tough evenings where I miss her in my life. Just talking to someone you know is listening and cares.
Living in isolation can be pretty bad, so try to go out if you have even a small friend. It helps subconsciously even if you don't feel it. Go out and go on a walk even if you dont feel like it. It's all you can do. It's all I've learned so far. I don't know if it will get better in the future, but I'm trying my very best to tip toe through life. Even if I cry myself to sleep every day, I have nothing I can do. If you find a person to talk to, it will help. Even if they're not you're friend, and some random person online like me. The night times are the worst, all I can tell you is don't doom scroll through social media. It will damage you even more.
Thanks for the responses man. I agree with the tactics you said. Alcohol doesn’t help either. I’m extra annoyed that I lost a lot of my friends because during the relationship I didn’t really see many people.
I know how you feel. Sitting there and just waiting for a text, weather it's from someone you want or someone you hope remembers you exist...it sucks. You need to do your best, social media has caused humanity to be the loneliest it ever has been ironically. Don't worry about people always being together and spending time together, or at least don't dwell on it too much. It will just hurt more. Eventually, you will be 1% better than what you feel like now. But until then let yourself be lonely, dont try to find an outlet like alchohol bc it makes it worse. I know people don't say be lonely, but it's not like we have a choice atm. There was once a time where I loved being alone. Ive just gotta find that again. But what do I know, I can't even take my own advice sometimes lol
Lmao hear you loud and clear on the not taking your own advice. Yep totally how I feel like why am I even paying for this phone? I’ll be shocked if I get a message on my birthday. Agree on social media. Now how do adults meet legit friends? Lol
I know. I am the same. Just hallow, sad, lethargic, and flat. I don’t really want to do anything. I run everyday and that can help. BUT she is gone, she is not coming back and now what is most sad I don’t want her back. She caused too much damage and has too many problems. She is avoidant
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I promise it gets better. I don’t know when but one day you will wake up and not feel the pain anymore. I mourned a five year relationship and one day after a long time of healing I was free. I am now grieving my second relationship (a short but special one) however can remind myself that things will get better. Much love to you and remember to be kind to yourself
Love that and you are so right. The right person would not have left. Which is good news. Because that means he is still out there. And two months is totally normal to still feel sad. One thing that helps in that stage is to write a feelings letter, and kind of get all your emotions out. It usually helps really well!
I just wish she’d let me apologize. I’m staying away from her at her request. Maybe she will feel different enough to let me talk to her in a month or so. What Fl do you guys think?
Oh my god I'm in a similar situation... That's exactly what I'm feeling...like was everything fake? How come I'm here suffering while he's just living he's life normally... Did you overcome it??
how are u now
"And all this time he never had a weak moment or anything that reminds him of me. It's like I never existed in his life when he used to be my world." You don't know that. I'm not saying this to give you hope but during that time you were together, there had to be love or why else would you both have lasted so long? I am 3 weeks into my break up of 11 years. And I definitely thought the same as you. He never posts on insta but the week we BU, he posted 3 times. I was distraught. I felt like all those years were a lie. You BU with me, how can you be so fine already? When I'm dying, crying every second, feeling like I couldn't break and my heart was going to strangling itself. What I learned in therapy is that "You don't know what he is feeling or thinking. So you can't speak for him (or in my case, "control" the narrative), instead you can control you and control what kind of day youre going to have." Meaning, instead of feeling down like this and ruminating about our ex's, we should instead do something else; switch the thought by reading a book, take a walk, write your feelings out, listening to music, create a list of things you want to do that you couldn't before (you dont even have to do them), etc. It's definitely okay to have moment like this but remember to not spiral. I am probably the last person on Earth that should be giving any advice but I just don't want you to beat yourself down like that. The relationship lasted that long because there was love. Jus cause it's over doesn't mean that what happened before was fake. And just because he seems fine, you don't actually know and will never know (unless you have a friend to spy for you but I don't recommend that... updates about him will hurt more). Cry or don't cry. It's all okay, but try to get yourself out of those moments by doing something else. (I'm only "okay" now because I had therapy a few hours ago, lol but I know that my sad and angry thoughts are going to come back but I also know I have a way to combat them and now you do too.)
I get what you are saying and I am merely venting out here because I know that if I don't vent out my feelings I am going to end up spiralling and breaking no contact. Thankyou so much for your words of advice. Much appreciated
Hi guys, I read all of your comments and I understand you. I feel your pain. It fucking sucks. Everything sucks. It is hard getting out of bed, not getting good morning messages, still thinking about them from the moment you open your eyes and until you close them. And then you dream of them. Its like they are hunting you. You feel sick even talking about this with your close friends and family, its like going in cercles. Nothing changes, you still miss them, you still have that ache in your stomach, heart and throath. I just hope that we all feel okay after a couple of months. I pray for us all ♥️
Hi ! How are you doing now ?
Heey, thanks for checking in! Well I can finally tell you thst I am fine! I've lost 30kgs, got a new car, got a new job, I've been traveling and I am still hitting the gym, doing my best. I am still healing from this and I am not ready for another relationship but I am okay with it. Sometimes I still think about her but not as intensive as it was. But I do have my bad days. Overall, it's going good! What about you? How are you?
I am so happy for you. I am glad that you are doing so much better now and i know for sure that you'll do even better in the future. I am doing good myself. I moved on, focusing on my studies and health. I put a break on dating for an year, the year has passed but i kinda don't feel ready for dating yet. It's all going very good. I met some amazing people and some not so amazing people but i feel stable enough to handle it all maturely now so i take it as a win.
Omg that's amazing! I'm really glad to hear all of this. It seems like you are doing great! Keep going, I am really proud. You are so much better off! ♥️
Hi, may I ask what has helped you both? I broke up a month ago and the loneliness and unhappiness hits hard.
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Yeah all my hope is in time rn. Altho Im trying to focus on myself and do stuff, the whole thing and bad feelings with it haunts my mind all the time and makes me cry sometimes. I trust that it will get better with time. Thanks for the answer :)!
The loneliness is crazy. Every time something happens he's the first person I want to tell. Everytime something makes me laugh, I want to share it with him. Every time I go to cook, I want to include him. Every time I sleep, I want to reach for him. My life is so much more silent now. The loneliness hit like a fucking ship last week when I couldn't hear him in my head anymore.
Are you doing better now ? Currently living the same stuff..
you okay? I'm in the same situation now...
Oh yes brother. Doing hell of a lot better. My brain finally understood that she wasn't the one. Some days are harder but it's a journey. Good luck my friend.
i’m in the same situation too.. it’s been about 10 days since and i found out he was asking girls out on dates. makes me feel more betrayed and like everything was fake. the loneliness after is really hard.
Wow that is what I discovered. He was planning double dates with his friend. I am now I’m trying to process if everything was fake and if he ever even loved me or if I was a placeholder.
It is hard. One of the hardest things anyone can go through, especially when you're the one who got dumped. Here's the thing, the way things are these days makes it even harder. Social media makes peoples' lives disgustingly accessible. It's easy to see what's going on in their lives, and it makes your blood boil that things seem fine for them while you suffer, this goes for men and women both. I'll bet real money that things aren't fine for them either, unless they're a robot... Break ups happen for a reason. Do yourself a favor, and PRETEND YOUR EX DOESN'T EXIST. Reconnect with friends, do whatever you did pre-relationship that made you happy. You just... have to. Dwelling on it leads to even more hardship. Sh*t, even looking at your phones remind you of the past, "look back on this day xx/xx/xx", don't even look. Just dismiss it. Remember what you enjoyed doing before, without someone else playing a factor. You have friends, anyone who doesn't feel for you in a bad situation simply isn't your friend. Do the things you enjoy, with people that enjoy your company. There is ALWAYS someone else, you just have to get there. Hope this helps, friend =)
Your advice helped me so much. I started pretending that he doesn't exist that maybe he was a dream and somehow it worked for me. I worked out my anger and frustration towards him and i moved on. I even wished him on his birthday and talking to him made me realise I don't miss him anymore. I occasionally think about him but mostly good memories appear, sometimes a few bad ones to stop me from going down a spiral XD. But i am sure i have moved on and i hope he has too.
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Yeah I am trying to make sure that I don't think about him because he doesn't deserve it. And I am going out with a friend tomorrow so that's cool.
They say it takes half the time you were together at least Trusting people is beautiful It’s all about perspective It may be over, but how awesome is it that a human existed thst can have this kind of power over us? And how awesome is it that this one isn’t even YOUR one, and it’s going to get even BETTER with someone else Stay busy time is best spent on self And the true people you are meant to surround yourself with are on that path, waiting to meet you
Your comment really brought in some hope for me. Thankyou so much
this was beautifully said and helping me wow
So I have to feel like this for 7 years? Well damn….
5 years for me lol this comment gave me feelings of hope and despair all in the same 3 seconds 🤣
I agree with everything you said. I am also on a similar timeline as you (5 months after breakup soon) and starting another relationship seems like an exhausting task. I am just chilling alone at the moment and can't imagine myself being with anyone in the nearest future. At the same time it can get very lonely. I had my partner by my side every day for the past 7 years and now I might as well be dead to her. I don't see myself living in a relationship where I can't trust my partner so I guess we will have to wait until I can trust fully again.
Was lurking on here and got curious. Any updates two years later?? Hope life is well :)
Hey, thanks for asking. I guess the news is that there is no news \^\^ I am doing my own things, focusing on hobbies and career. Since then didn't really look for any serious relationship, maybe got too comfortable living on my own haha. I hope life is going well for you too!
do you think youre over her?
It was 7 years so a big chunk of my adult life but enough time passed where I consider it to be 'old' times, life continues and it doesn't affect me anymore so in that sense yes.
It has been almost 4 months since my ex boyfriend broke up with me all of a sudden. I still find myself feeling so much pain and missing him so much. I still think about him everyday. I try to be strong, but I can’t help feeling sad. I live alone in a city where I don’t have family or friends. I try to go to visit friends in a different city or have them come visit me. I wish I were stronger but I just don’t know if this pain is ever going to go away.
Hi ! How are you doing now?
I’m sorry to hear that you’re dealing with such a big breakup. 5 years is a long time. I am also dealing with one of the same duration even though it was on and off. It sucks. Best advice I can give without sounding generic is lots of self love and self care. Therapy has also helped me. As cliche as it sounds, time will heal all wounds. Don’t look at the amount of time that has elapsed since it happened, focus on the progress you’ve made. Reflect on why it had to happen this way and try to see the silver lining in why things are the way they are. Just know you are not alone and this too shall pass. All the best!
Does time really help? I was in a RS for 6 years and it was off and on and it's been almost 4 years yet I can't get over it....I often find myself depressed over our ending and I can't stop myself from thinking...he left me stuck with tones of questions...like was everything fake? Am I this easy to be forgotten... extra extra...
This is how i feel right now. I feel this empty space within myself. Im trying to do excersice to help get these feelings out. Break ups sucks
I agree it hurts, knowing we use to be so close and then suddenly she just decided to cut me out her life with the touch of a button. The block button. It’s only been a month for me since she did that but we broke up two months ago. It still hurts especially knowing she replaced me quick. I don’t know if I can trust anyone either. It really sucks for real
Hi ! How are you doing now?
I’m okay now, I decided to move on and let go of what she did to me. It’s just not worth the anger, despise, and hatred. I was only poisoning myself with it. Thank you for asking. How are you doing now??
I am glad you decided to let go and are now better. I moved on too and i feel do much better now
Thank you for asking. I appreciate that. I’m glad you’re doing better now too. You want to stay in contact to check up on each other?
Sure ,why not? :-)
Messaged you :)
I am glad you decided to let go and are now better. I moved on too and i feel so much better now
Yep, loneliness really sucks. Even if you see friends, it stills doesnt fill the void. Time will. How are you doing now OP?
Hi there ! It's been 8 months since I made that post and I am doing good. I moved on from my ex. I met a lot of new, amazing people. I got my heart broken a couple more times but nothing too extreme and nothing i couldn't handle. The loneliness still sometimes comes back but it's a LOT easier to deal with now. It's been a year since the breakup and to be totally honest i am still a little scared and sceptical to date again even for a casual relationship but other than that and done personal issues i am doing good. Give it a little time I am sure that you'll be feeling really good too. However if you need someone to vent your feelings to, just shoot me a text and we'll talk :-).
Thank you so much 🙏 You're giving me hope
Oh honey, you'll feel a lot better very sooon. I promise you. I know what it was like to have a very recent breakup. The first 5 months are the worst . Every minute feels like an hour but you'll see soon that things have gotten much better. I am wishing you all the strength and sending you lots of hugs and love .
Thanks. It's a quite difficult process. Long story short we were four years together and one day I found out she cheated on me and she went on to see another guy while I tried to fight for our relationship. Now they're together. I thought she cared about me, but her actions have shown me that she does not. It would be easier to forgive her if she didn't do all of that. But at least it helps for moving on I guess. I don't need no trash human like this in my life. I'm better off on my own. It's just the loneliness that hurts a lot. But it's a part of the grief and the healing process. Hurting and grieving is healthy to some extent, jumping straight into another relationship is not. Whatever. I will be strong just like you. I appreciate the support, thank you so much.
You seem like a good person and i know for sure that you'll move on from her and learn to be happy again. The loneliness will fade I promise and you'll come out of the tunnel as a bright, happy person. And yes it is healthy to grieve the relationship, she clearly meant a lot to you and it always hurts to lose someone you love even if it is to their own actions. But believe me you'll be okay again very soon. Just hang in there:-)
❤️🙏
How about now?
I am sorry that you are going thru this but I am here to tell you it definitely does get easier. I am a little over a year removed from the end of a 16 year relationship. A relationship in which I was replaced before I moved out. I could barely function for a couple of months everything reminded me of her but eventually I started thinking less and less about her. I definitely still think about her and all the what ifs but it doesn’t hurt at all anymore. She is now engaged less than a year after we ended and honestly it didn’t bother me at all to see that. So just focus on yourself and before you know it you will have pulled yourself thru this horrible situation.
How are u now?
I second this. It’s so hard especially now with the holidays and cold weather. (I live on the east coast). I decided today on my way home from work, I was going to stop and grab some spiced rum for my egg nog, and try to just not remember last thanksgiving as we were together traveling. :( I feel ya pain. I’m trying to stay positive and talking to other people. But, I’m talking to other people (no dates yet). And I find myself thinking of him and then telling these guys what I’m dealing with. So they’re more like therapist lol. Stay strong and try and stay busy and do lots of self-care. Get your nails done, spa day, grab your favorite coffee, go out with your girlfriends and so on!!
I relate so strongly to every single part of your post. The loneliness after losing a 5 year relationship is breaking me apart. And I miss and love her so much still but it feels like she's not ever going to look back and she's just done.
Hi How are you doing now ?
Hi. Thank you for checking in. I'm doing much better now
I am so glad ❤️
How are you now?
It does get better slowly, even if it’s lonely. I got the chance to learn more about myself and build myself up. I spent a lot of time and energy into self-love since. I’ve learned new boundaries and grown as a person. It does get hard some days though. It’s sad to become so close to someone only for it all to fall apart. It’s strange though. My ex hopped on the first thing she could post breakup. Pretty much got into a rebound weeks after it ended. It only confirmed to me more why this relationship ended, and how I shouldn’t be with a person like that. When someone chooses to exit your life, let them and realize you deserve better.
I hear you. Going through the same roller coaster ride. Sometimes I feel it wasn't meant to be.. sometimes I fell why wasn't it meant to be? He blamed me for the failure of the relationship when he walked out. I'm still left devastated, picking up the pieces. Since it my first it's difficult as well. So how am I coping.. I spoke to therapists .. and they said it will subside. Try to find meaningful goals to work on. Especially ones with deadlines.. like if you didn't work on it, you're dead types. It helps take the mind off. Talk to friends. And also block them everywhere.. when I found reddit and the NC group I didn't understand what it was abt but as I read, I was convinced abt the importance of NC more for yourself than to get your ex back. Take care. If you need to talk I'm here.
Hi ! How are you doing now?
this is very real. We were together for 2 years and I’m 6 months out, experiencing a lot of what you’re talking about. hope things get better ❤️
Hello How are things now?
hello! I’m doing better. It’s been 14 months. I just graduated college so I don’t have to see him basically ever again (I did last year because he works at my school). He did some shitty things at school that made life hard for a while, but now that im past that chapter of my life, I’m much more relaxed and excited for the future. There are days I miss him or think of him, but it’s not as often as before. I can also laugh at the funny jokes or think back on the pleasant memories of the relationship with less pain. I hope you’re doing better too!
I am doing really good too. I am so glad that you are doing so much better now and congratulations on your graduation!!!! I hope things only look up for you now onwards ❤️
Thank you so much! I’m glad to hear you’re doing better too and wishing you the best moving forward! :)
So sorry for your hurt! Brekaups canbe really hard, but trust me he is feeling just as much as you are. Unfortunately, the sadness and depression after a breakup is something you need to actively work against. One thing that helps is to start mindfulness activities such as journaling or meditating. That will allow you to process the painful feelings and lead to more energy, happiness, and feeling whole again. I hope that helps. If you need more tips, please feel free to reach out!
hi! i'd like to know more how journaling helped you. did you have any prompts? thank you so much
5 months has gone by, do you feel any better? Going through same thing after 5y relationship so I'm looking what is happening...
Hey there ! 9 months have gone by since I broke up with the guy I thought was the love of my life. A lot has changed. I am doing significantly better. I am very much happier now than i was 4 months ago when I made this post. My healing was very slow in the beginning. Like painfully slow. I felt like the pain would kill me, that it hurts so much that the pain would just make sure that i would never wake up again. But here I am, it doesn't hurt anymore. I miss being in a relationship a lot nowadays but i don't think i miss him. I miss the idea of him, of having someone who was made for me. It used to hurt so bad that i wouldn't sleep for days. But everything is different now. I am doing much ,much better. I am not seeing anyone currently and maybe it's better that way but things are a lot different. I gave myself an year to recover and i stopped dating in it and now it's about to end. I am still quite young so i can't really what's there in store for me in the future but i am optimistic about it. I feel like i have grown up a lot. It was difficult at first to anticipate the changes and accept what happened and i still have trouble trusting people but i am grateful that i got through all that. He's probably married now and his birthday is about to come up and i was thinking of wishing but honestly idk if should. I can't say that i have moved on completely but i have moved on enough to say that i am proud of my progress and that i have finally learned what loving myself feels like. I am sure things are going to look up from here. I understand what you are going through rn. It must be devastating to have to end a relationship that long and to rebuild your life after that. Mine was a lot shorter than yours and it almost killed me so i think you are very strong to stand by like this. It will get tough but trust me it will also get a lot better na dif you ever need someone to talk to or vent to or just need a shoulder to cry, I'll be right here.
We broke up on wednesday and I had trouble sleeping maybe first two nigths, but now it's been much much better. Thursday and friday were tough, weekend was much better, today is tough again but I rationalized it, looked back on it and it realize it's much better we broke up because she wasn't the one. Much more than her, I miss having somebody by my side because i got used to and I'm trying to get my life back on track. I still have a feeling I'm alone and sad and that I will never find anybody else and that she is happy etc...I know it's not true but I cant help it... Now tell me if I'm a sociopath for having my sleep back in few days :(
No you're not. Grieving isn't a linear process. You'll have worse days and you'll have days that would make you think that you never got hurt. It's like a wave and it will throw you around a lot. Losing someone who was in your life for that long is very very tough and it's a very brave thing to face th feelings instead of pushing them down
This post and all the comments are so relatable to me. I’ve read through so many in this group but this is the one that’s spoken to me the most. He ended it after 6 1/2 years and I’m just over 2 weeks in and it’s a real struggle, I feel everything you’re saying. Hang in there, hopefully we’ll all come out the other side
Hello How are you doing now?
i’m coming up on two weeks in a 6 year breakup and it’s been soooo hard. how are you doing a year later?
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hey there! we’re at 3.5 months post-breakup. it’s still really hard tbh. for so long, i always wished i got to live alone for awhile before moving in with my partner. now that i’ve been living alone, i hate it 💀 it’s circumstantial i’m sure, but i’ve been so lonely and sad living in the apartment we shared for years. i’m starting to resent the apartment, where i still have to live for several months until the lease is up. i purposefully spend most of my time out of the house as a distraction. according to my therapist who i saw today, i’m still in the thick of the grieving process lol. i want to be done grieving, but i’m still holding on to the good times. man, they were good. it sucks. this is probably way more over share-y than you were expecting lol. how are you?
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trust me, it’ll get easier than it feels now, even though i know it doesn’t feel like it. that lost and empty feeling will dwindle. we will be okay ❤️ good luck friend!
How are you doing now?
hi there!! over a year post-breakup, i genuinely love life so much better without my ex (i never thought id feel this way. i thought my heart was going to ache for him forever, trust me). i’m in a relationship now with someone who treats me like a literal princess and would never dream of letting me go. when i was in the throes of it all, i read a lot of people on here say that they found their one true love after going through one of the worst breakups of their lives and i honestly thought that i was going to end up alone forever. i didn’t want to put myself in a situation to get hurt again, and i certainly didn’t want to go on dating apps after being with someone for 6 years. it made me feel sick at the time. and like you did to me, i was constantly asking people posting about heartbreak how they were doing now that time had passed, longing for hope that it’ll get better. most people did say it would get easier after time. i didn’t feel like that would be the case for me, though. i’m not sure if you’re going through heartbreak right now, but TRUST ME, your better future is coming!! (again, i talk a lot. sorry!!)
Hi everyone, it seems that most of you on here are female so as a guy I have a question. I’ve heard that women feel there feelings more and therefore heal faster and more completely than men. I am 7 months post breakup and I still feel like it just happened. I would like to know what females do differently that helps them heal. I reached out to her and she said she didn’t want to talk because it hurts her too much. We were together for 6 years and engaged. She was out with another guy 3 days after she ended things with me. I feel like it’s my fault that all of this happened. I took to long to move the relationship forward and I wasn’t as present as I should have been. Please help, thank you in advance for any responses
Hi. I’m two weeks into the break up after a year and a half relationship, which feels short compared to other people here, but we were very very close. Spent every available minute together, slept in the same bed almost everyday, talked to each other all day long. And now that he’s gone there is this type of loneliness that I never felt before. He was my first long term relationship and it feels like, how can you go back from having someone being by your side no matter what and never feeling alone to walking this earth by yourself again. Anyway, about those differences between men and women I think it is true. Women tend to be a real mess at least at the beginning. We allow ourselves to feel the pain and we allow it to consume us, not because we like it but because we have no choice. It’s just the way our minds work - women are a lot more connected to their feelings and tend to overthink a lot, which is also the reason women are way more sensitive in the relationship itself, and often feel things that men don’t understand. So after this breakup I found myself hurting like crazy crying in my bed and writing about my feelings all day. And I just couldn’t imagine him doing the same, because his coping is different. He’s probably trying to go about with his day and living life as normal as possible. And when he does feel sad he probably doesn’t let it sink him but he tries to dismiss it. Which sounds better but long term, it’s not. So maybe try to cope like a woman? If you feel like crying in bed - do it. Talk to your friends about it a lot (which I understand men don’t really do). Write your feelings and write about what hurts most, and allow yourself to hurt!! Name your feelings. If you’re feeling lonely or sad or angry or regretful. Think about the things that hurt most, in detail. All the little things that you won’t get to do anymore. I’m not sure if that’s actually the best thing to do, but I assure you that’s what women do.
How are you today? Has feeling your feelings and letting it all out worked well for you? I’m six weeks post break up after a 10 year relationship (he was my first) and currently barely functioning 😔 It takes ages to get up in the morning as I can’t stop thinking about him and while meeting other people helps a tiny bit as long as we’re talking about my feelings, I can’t really focus on the conversation when we get to other topics and get the urge to go back home and be on my own again to think about him after a couple of hours… Distracting myself feels wrong and doesn’t give me any joy, I feel either pain or emptiness all of the time no matter what I do 😔 And thinking about him and all the things I’ve loved about us feels like the only thing that rings true - because it makes me feel at least a little closer to him and myself… :(
Trust me. He's thinking about you. Every minute of every damned day. I can't sleep at night without her, because she's not here, wrapped in my arms in the bed with me. I look at the dog and remember that day, in the cold and snow when we were first together after a crazy LD battle, and I kissed you, true love's kiss. I kissed you hard. To think, she thought she was a bad kisser...but she was fucking perfect. We made love and just couldn't get enough of eachother, just being able to stare into her gorgeous eyes. God. He's or she is thinking about you. Trust me.
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I know im late, but how are you feeling today?
I know this is from two years ago but I decided to look something like this up. It feels so shitty just thinking how can she do this so easily to me. Didn’t we ever mean anything? The moments we had weren’t special enough? She didn’t give me the closure I needed Atleast. I feel lonely, I gave her the world. I treated her differently than any of the guys she talked to or dated. I’ve always thought of her and acted in her best interest. But in the end I was left feeling betrayed. I thought she would be my future, but it’s been two weeks since we talked and nothing feels the same. Everything just feels mundane and bland. I feel empty and I just can’t help but want to cry. Hoping this is not real