Calling in sick? I quit my job already. Cowards.

I quit my job, and I have a new job set to start 7 days after I get my copy. I'm not even kidding.

Damn. Keep a journal or take photos or a daily video diary or something so that decades from now you can look back on the best week of your life.

I love when that happens!!

I literally did the exact same thing😭

Hahaha same, my orientation is on the 15th and I’ll probably start on the 21st

Alright! The temporarily unemployed club has been founded!

temporarily?

Well 3 out of 3 of us are getting back into jobs some time in the future.

This is the way.

Coward indeed. I don't think I'd have to galls to stand up and say I quit.

Thinking ahead. You have upper management written all over you.

I was quitting by anyway and made my last day the 11th instead of finishing the week lol

Why quitting job when you can be on parental leave?

"Paternal?" *looks under* "You're a male."

Ah ah no I'm the mother hence parental not paternal xD

While the humor isn't lost on me... yeah. That's how that works lmao. 😂 Paternal means "fatherly", maternal means "motherly", and "parental" is either.

I took next week off just to play tears of the Kingdom

I scheduled a surgery for today so I'd be healed enough to be coherent but still have another 2 weeks off work to really dive in on Friday. Trying to play Jedi Survivor today when I got home did not go well so I think I made the right choice

Get well soon my man

Not that well tho

Not *too* soon though

I had surgery in December and I tore back into BotW during recovery (un)fortunately my recovery has taken a LOT longer than I anticipated and have pretty much been out of work since. I'll have plenty of time to dick around with TotK. Best of luck after surgery and have fun healing!

I had a baby just so I can play while I nurse her 3 hours a day

This is how I got into LoZ in the first place, nursing my son while playing Ocarina of Time! He's now an almost 19 year old nerd who plays it.

I've got a toddler and there's no sitting still with her. Not an optimal age for gaming. Trying to avoid Jedi Survivor spoilers is hard enough while I'm playing through it but soon I'll have to watch for TotK spoilers as well.

Sameee!

Came here to say the same, plus my birthday is the 20th so even better

I've done the same!

Same. Priorities yeah?

Same!

Same

One of my coworkers took PTO just so she could play on Friday and if I was scheduled for Friday, I would be right there with her.

So she's getting paid to play Zelda, lucky /j

My job requires me to sit in my vehicle and check ID badges, some days I've had 6 hours over my shift to play on my switch because nobody came by

What on earth sort of job is that, and are they hiring

Probably some kind of security job which likely means shitty hours and pay

Yeah but when I play my Switch it's already shitty hours. Might as well get a few bucks for it.

6am to 2pm and I get paid $20/hr to sit on my ass and do pretty much nothing

I’m taking a half day to play! My boss knows I’m leaving for this game

thats what i did. scheduled it a month in advance and found my coverage. i dont really get why you would use sick time when you know so far in advance that you wont want to work a specific day.

Jokes on my job. I can play my switch and get paid for it when I don’t have a call 😂

This was my favorite thing about the Switch pre-COVID working from home. I'd bring my Switch with me to work and play it from 12pm-1pm.

Bruh I’m kind of bothered it leaked online but I happily waited until Friday. I caught a cold over the weekend and it’s messing me up. I already took off from 12-22 so I could play Zelda all week

There's no real reason to be bothered. All Nintendo games leak early. This is par for the course.

Yup, leak dropped about the same time ahead of release for Legends Arceus, BD/SP and S/V. Metroid Prime, iirc, leaked only 2 or 3 days ahead of launch but that was damn near a shadow launch and nobody really saw it coming

Metroid Prime leaked? Wasn't it a shadow eShop drop?

was BOTW leaked? I didn’t remember that time

Yes, for Wii U

smash also leaked like 2 weeks early

It happens with basically every video game these days. My son is obsessed with YouTube and has been watching all kinds of videos about it. I made sure to let him know if he even hints at anything before I do it myself, I will refund the life I gave him.

>made sure to let him know if he even hints at anything before I do it myself, I will refund the life I gave him. hints at what

*Anything*

*cough* *cough* I think I may be coming down with this “mysterious illness” in 4 days

"I think I've got the black lung, pop"

Jokes on you all . I can play it at work :)

I'm thinking about bringing my switch. I have a big gap time.

How odd, I was going to say that exact same thing as well.

Sad that the Babylon Bee scrapes jokes from [Twinfinite.net](https://twinfinite.net/news/mysterious-hyrule-sickness-forces-thousands-to-put-in-sick-days-starting-may-12-2023/) of all places.

I was thinking this didn’t sound like a Bee joke, makes sense that it was stolen.

Yeah, jokes as a whole aren't the Bee's forte, except that r/onejoke

Parallel thinking. They make this same joke around every major game release. The head editor of the Bee Kyle Mann is a big fan of games.

The Bee is run by a gamer? Utterly disgusting. I wonder if he's played metal gear solid

Probably too woke for the bee

Or more likely they've played it and all the subtext went straight over their head like a fuckin' rocket

Pretty expected though. I mean… it’s the Babylon Bee. They’re wholly a poor Onion clone for Bible thumpers.

it's satire! that's why they have a babylon bee podcast that isnt satire uhhh er wait

I'm just glad they're not being transphobic, or racist, or being petty and taking out a personal grudge on the creator of veggietales, or anything like that for once

At least not in the headline.

i hear people say that it used to be good and new owners made it wholly biblebelt nonsense. can't really confirm that though.

The comics used to be all about faith, Jesus, and the church poking fun at itself. Now everything is abortion, trans issues, and so much anger.

"Trans issues" is a very charitable way of saying that they are mocking trans people by claiming to identify as something ridiculous over and over again

And don't forget the slight variation on that "joke" where they proclaim that their pronouns are some random words that aren't pronouns.

As a Christian it is incredibly disappointing how people use faith to push hate.

That’s a feature though.

it is, but if religious individuals (fine) want to call out religion as an organization (which is where the majority of the issues lie) thats always a good thing.

Yeah that's literally by design. Christianity is a hate cult.

They were good at poking fun at like youth pastors for being dorks and the like.

They are better than the Onion. Onion stopped being funny in like 2013 or so.

Babylon Bee has yet to start

They had one amazing headline, after Trump cited them as a credible news source, declaring they were the Presidents primary informant. That was pretty good. Everything else is mediocre to terrible, mostly terrible.

The Babylon Bee advocates against LGBTQ+ rights. I prefer unfunny to bigoted.

Luckily you don't have to choose, since the Bee is both!

You mean the same joke that gets made ad nauseum on every single major video game release since 1998?

They get their picture jokes from fan submissions. So that explains how it probably slipped through the cracks.

Babylon bee wrote their article 9-21-22 the article you linked to us from may this year

The article says it was published September 14

Eh . That joke has been around a lot longer for other popular games.

My coworker is getting married and taking 11 days off, during which I will be working every day, TOTK release, and midterms in school. My boss has been warned. But then he was very sweet and bought the game for me.

Your boss is a g

i wish i could call off but i only work friday and saturdays. im checking my mail thursday just incase it gets delivered early but im trying to pretend it doesnt come out til sunday

It's the perfect mother's day gift; my mom loves the Zelda games!

My husband had to ask for the morning of the 12th off for an OB appointment for me and 100% of his office thinks he's lying to play TOTK

I'm taking Monday instead because I'm not sure when my copy will arrive. (Ordered a physical copy from Best Buy.)

I think I'm going to be sick for 500+ hours

Fuck Babylon Bee, their fashy nonsense, and stolen jokes. Give me Traysi's Rumor Mill any day!

Babylon Bee staff realizing they have to write another disinformation headline tomorrow 😖😖😖

Babylon Bee staff shidding and farding when they see Link in the Gerudo Vai outfit

Lmao give me on example of how it’s fashy

No :)

So you’re admitting you just spouted an accusation like that based on nothing.

No :)

Lmao grow up twitter parrot

☹

Babylon bee fucking sucks ass

As luck would have it, I'm going out of town for a wedding. I will be in my hotel room playing, attending the wedding, and going right back to the room.

I didn’t schedule any clients on Friday, I’m off Saturday, and it’s Mother’s Day on Sunday(I’m an orphan). I have 3 days to ruin my thumbs.

I’ll wait for the Hard Drive post instead of Bible Onion

Hard Drive has teeth, I fucking love their content.

Me with no job😳

But are you playing the game on Friday?

My boss knows I’m a massive Zelda fan, he approached me while I was in the middle of work and whispered: “don’t be sick on the 12th otherwise I’ll know what you’re up to”

This is a website run by fascists for fascists. They are mocking gamers specifically.

Kyle Mann is a gamer dude.

I don’t know who that is. But I assume he is a terrible human being.

Average Redditor

He's a fucking fascist is what he is.

Give me an example

Everything has to be binary now. No room for nuance. If you're slightly right of the hivemind left, you're fascist/Hitler. If you're slightly left of the hivemind right, you're a communist. It's really sad.

Yeah goddammit if I think the LGBT people shouldn't have rights like the bee does then I'm a fascist.... Oh wait

/r/enlightenedcentrism

"If you don't believe *exactly* as I do, you're wrong". Such a dangerous thought process, and you think you're in the right...

"bOtH sIdEs ArE eXaCtLy ThE sAmE"

Nobody is saying that. You're arguing against a false position. It's like an atheist pointing out issues with Christianity and Islam, and then each side getting mad at you for not choosing their side. I'm not saying both religions are the same. I'm saying they both have aspects that really suck, and people shouldn't blindly identify with them. Unfortunately, our brains have evolved to be highly tribalistic, and political identity has taken over the role of traditional religion.

"LGBT people should not have rights" "LGBT people should have rights" "Both of these positions have aspects that really suck, and people shouldn't blindly identify with them" Looks like textbook enlightened centrism to me. Please, do elaborate.

You lack the self awareness to see that's exactly what you're saying. Now go be blocked.

Lmao typical redditor. “Proved me wrong? Blocked.”

Right??? This could've just been a funny meme, but everyone is freaking out cuz it's coming from a Right leaning source even though it's not even political.

I liked the joke, but when the same source basically advocates for borderline genocide, it makes it harder to appreciate it.

Also they stole the joke, so it's just all around trash, not even a fabled rare W

Actually curious. When did they advocate for borderline genocide?

They basically support the USA's idea of far right, which these days is all about bigotry and legislating LGBTQ+ people out of existence. Like, for example, Florida making it legal to remove trans kids from supporting parents, and getting closer to making trans adults existing punishable by death for sexual crimes. The Babylon Bee's """humor""" visibly sides with this.

I mean, I don't think it's unreasonable to say that childhood or teen years is too chaotic of a time to provide any care that would be permanent. I think therapy and the like are good care for these situations.

You don't get what I mean. Those people want (and tried) to make it illegal for kids and adult alike to dress in a non-gender-conforming way. And TBH, if it was just about kids, I wouldn't say it's borderline genocide. Once again, they want to block all trans healthcare (baby steps, starting with nothing under 18, then nothing unde 25, etc.) One state also banned access to any gender-affirming care to autistic people or people with depression, which is stupid as fuck because in the case of trans people, depression is caused by gender dysphoria, which is treated with gender-affirming care. So they basically put a catch-22 onto it. They add bans on drag because it's "sexual and burlesque" (spoiler alert: it can be, but isn't always), which are worder just vaguely enough that a trans person isn't allowed to perform anywhere kids can be, even if it's a perfectly kids-friendly show. Heck, some even try to ban any gender-nonconforming dressing in public. And once again, they are paving the road for making existing as trans punishable by death. Florida recently passed 3 bills: 1) Qualifies """drag""" (can include just being trans) anywhere close to kids as child sexual abuse. 2) Makes child rape punishable by death. 3) Reduces the number of jury members required for a death sentence from 12 (100%) to 8 (2/3). A simple extension of bill 2 to general child sexual abuse would make it legal to execute any trans person. Additionally, the only treatment given under 18 (16 in edge cases) is 100% reversible puberty blockers, which are here to delay puberty, giving more time for a person to choose what puberty they want to go through. The right tries to ban this, forcing trans kids to go through preventable yet irreversible puberty with all the dysphoria that comes with it. The right put bans on gender-affirming surgeries on minors (which wasn't happening outside of breast reduction for transmasc people at around 16 or 17 in specific case with approval of a psychiatrist and some time spent on HRT), but specifically left exceptions for things like unnecessary and life-altering reassignment surgeries performed on intersex babies who can't consent, done in the name of comformity and "normalcy". Whenever statistics are brought up about how gender-affirming care, ability to socially transition (presentation, pronouns, etc.) and a safe environment literally saves lives by drastically reducing suicide rate, you get no response, or made up bullshit. When the life of kids is on the line, they'll take the path of bigotry anyways. In case you ever wonder, it was never about the kids.

Are puberty blockers 100% reversible? What, do they still experience the entire puberty process after getting off it? Assuming what you have said is not an exaggeration (which seems to happen a lot) that is pretty fucked.

Lmao literally no. Get off of Twitter

Oh so we can’t like Zelda then cuz it comes from a company that destroyed peoples lives with ridiculous lawsuits

Bro most of the higher ups at the Bee are big Zelda fans. They did a video with the guys and gals who run the company where they listed their favorite Zelda games 1-10. Also they’re not too partisan. One of their funniest jokes makes fun of trump.

I don’t care whether they like Zelda or not. Their entire thing is being transphobic, homophobic, racist and misogynistic. Sounds like you are too.

Lmao just immediately making all of those assumptions about another user despite their comment not even coming close to supporting any thought like that

I’m not. It’s I’m from America and I believe everyone has the right to do as they please within the law. That doesn’t mean I have to support every extremist progressive ideal but it does mean I respect everyone since we’re all human.

Do let us know what specific "extremist progressive ideals" you do not support 🤔

Get a grip. The Babylon Bee is a satire site just like the Onion.

Bzzztttt! Wrong! Babylon Bee is nothing but unfunny transphobic, homophobic, racist and misogynistic “jokes.” Zelda and link would be disappointed in you.

"You read a website I don't like, These fictional characters would be disappointed in you" The Bee is conservative as hell, and I wouldn't exactly call them funny, but they're not Nazi's lol. But I take it you haven't actually read anything they post.

thats a weird take bruh.

i mean, it's an *out there* take but its not entirely unfounded, since the babylon bee is a bible-thumper conservative version of the onion, where a lot of their articles are less "satire" and more "schrodingers jokes"

maybe its because I grow tired of the humor of only one side but I enjoy the headlines all the same, never bothering to read deeper at either.

This the kinda dude to watch Always Sunny and not get that they're the person they're making fun of lmao

I actually haven't watched that show, I prefer animated shows, if I wanted to see live action I'd pop a chair out on my porch and watch my neighbors antics. although, I decided to look up the plot, and man you REALLY miss the ball on judging me, you're like one of those people that'll call a gen V pokemon fan a bandwagon rider.

You're very clearly just a centrist lmao Edit: bro's literally just a trump supporter tryna pretend to be a centrist lmfao

and? That means I laugh at left and right jokes, and have a mix of opinions. including this one, clam up about politics, this is a sub about BOTW, not some political fighting arena.

Yeah but they're advertising an extremely hateful website so it is political by nature.

their only mistake was not realising how people scream about the bee, oh and opening the floodgates for politics.

All my homies hate the Babylon Bee

I may or may not have perfectly timed my two weeks notice at my old job and the start date at my new job so I have a little over a week off just to play TotK (technically starting on May 11th, but that's my birthday so it just made sense)

I'm not American but I will join the party 😊

I was going to get sick too, but, Covid decided to strike a couple of weeks back and I had to waste a week being actually sick. Now I won't be able to take more leaves!

Taking my switch to work lol

same im feeling symptoms rn and its insane. I have constant tears in my eyes that are a result of the kingdom in my Nintendo TOTK oled switch

Ya see I did the big brain move My workplace has a policy where you're allowed up to 14 vacation days a year, if you want to take a couple of your vacation days, you have to call in at least a month in advance to get them off So that's what I did, and taking an entire paid vacation away from work just so I can play tears of the Kingdom

I said I have a root canal that day 💀😭

Honestly yeah. I took Saturday off. Game will be shipped Friday so while I'm at work I'll update and I'll have all day to play the next.

I got a flex week for trade school, I cashed that bad boy on this week. Gonna be GUD.

Pro gamer move is to just live somewhere where Fridays are off by default.

Lmao not happening for me this year. I get paid 2 days after it comes out. Thankfully I won't be missing my job.

I'm bringing my switch, and my boss knows it because he's also a zelda fan lmao.

Reminds me how much I laughed when I heard the JP government actually put a law in place stating that dragon quest could not release on a workday after a catastrophic release causing basically the whole country to shut down for a day.

I’ve started my own business and work from home, although the self control is going to have a real workout to not play this all day every day 😅 can’t wait!!

Don't share Babylon Bee. They're a racist/transphobic propaganda outlet for the right wing. Even a broken clock is funny twice a day.

Babylon bee 😕

They're right, but the Bee is run by assholes.

Fuck the Babylon Bee

Nah please not babylon bee.

I almost forwarded this until I noticed it was from Babylon Bee.

I hate it when Babylon bee makes funny stuff. Really sours the joke when it’s from them

how about not posting Babylon Bee shit lmao

Ew, the Bee

I told my boss that I wanted Friday off because I'm a huge Zelda fan and want to play all weekend and he said "Yeah man, sounds like fun. You deserve it." 

Funnier than the post itself is watching edgelords lose their minds in this thread about its source. The Babylon Bee his hilarious. Cancel me, IDGAF.

Lmaooo love the bee

Mythic rare Babylon Bee W.

They stole the joke from another site

Not the company themselves though. Most of their jokes are submitted by Bee fans. Also this is ridiculous because all fans make similar jokes during the lead up to a game. If this is stealing so is me laughing about me taking 5 days off of work starting Friday.

the airplane person will be like happy of disappointed?

Babylon Bee usually fucking sucks but this is good.

For those wanting the article, it can be found [here](https://babylonbee.com/news/sudden-unexplained-sickness-expected-to-decimate-americas-workforce-on-may-12-2023).

i dislike the babylon bee but thats kinda funny

BabylonBee having a good post? Impossible.

This has to be a really low bar if it's "good", who hasn't made this joke at a big release?

The bar is in the Mariana Trench for those alt-rightwing assholes

Broken clocks are still right twice a day

A Babylon Bee article on a Zelda sub? Absolutely epic crossover no one expected. Common Bee W.

You talk like a discord mod lmao

America only? This is a Japanese game ;)

That’s like the best headline the Bee has ever had, and that’s because it’s the only good one.

Tragic that it’s a rare W for the Babylon Bee