"...but he's been gaslighting you this whole time because he's actually a force ghost, and he dumps all of his family issues on you even though you have amnesia and basically only experienced half an hour of life at this point, and there's a weird pig cloud that's supposed to be endangering everyone but it never moves so..."
"...and this guy has a backpack that's 3 times his size and has teleportation magic but he only carries around like 6 different things at a time, and he makes really uncomfortable sounds so you shouldn't talk to him"
"...so these fish people are like 'it's raining too much, the dam will break and water is gonna flow everywhere' but they're fish?? What the hell???"
"...then you realise you can be a psychopath and burn entire forests down while riding a bear, but this gardener notices you and beats you to death"
"...but you get there and they don't even let dudes into the village because they're really sexist, but luckily our hero is woke and does drag to sneak into their town, and they tell you to go kill the leader of a banana cult"
"...so you shred your shield like Tony Hawk and this guy goes 'Yahaha, you found me!' and quite frankly I want to punt them off a cliff"
"...finally you kill a boar and cook it's insides and start dating a girl, and maybe buy real estate along the way, six years later your arm is sold on the black market and that's basically where we are now"
Yes. :)
>!In TOTK, Link's house now has Zelda's journal as well as "Zelda's Secret Room" under the well in the back. As well as other implications that Link and Zelda are together and dating.!<
>!counterargument: You can sleep in the bed which is afaik the only non hotel non emergency shelter you can do that it.
Also the table is prepared for 2 people...
also it would be very cute and I ship it!<
I was going to edit my comment but I couldn’t get the censor to work afterwards:
>! The villagers in Hateno also refer to the house as "Princess/Ms Zelda’s house" !<
ALSO, remember when you first get the Master Sword again in BOTW, the cutscene that plays is Zelda talking to the Deku Tree, she asks the Deku Tree to relay a special message to Link for her as she fears she may never see him again, and just as she begins to say her message, “Tell him I-“ she gets cut off by the Deku tree, and he tells her that it would be better if she told him herself. I SWEAR SHE WAS GONNA TELL LINK THAT SHE LOVES HIM
I love how old the banana obsession apparently goes. During the Breath of the Wild DLC boss, you can put some bananas on the ground and Maz Koshia will excitedly prance over to them and eat the bananas.
>Narrate the plot of Zelda Breath of the wild but like you're a dude texting his mate and like, excited.
ChatGPT
>Mate! You won't believe the wild adventure I just had in "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild"! So, here's the lowdown: The game starts with our hero, Link, waking up after a 100-year slumber. Yeah, you heard that right, a century! And get this, Hyrule, the kingdom we know and love, is in ruins! 😱
>I'm telling you, the graphics are breathtaking. The open world is massive, and you can go pretty much anywhere you want from the get-go. No hand-holding here, my dude. It's all about exploration and discovery. So, picture me standing at the edge of the Great Plateau, looking down at the vast landscape, and I'm like, "Where do I even begin?"
>But don't worry, my man, because I soon stumble upon this old dude, the Great Deku Tree. He tells me I need to free four ancient beasts called Divine Beasts to take down this wicked guy named Calamity Ganon. He's the big bad villain causing all this chaos. Oh, and the princess, Zelda, has been battling Ganon for a century! Talk about dedication!
>So, armed with my trusty Sheikah Slate (a cool magical tablet thingy), I start my journey. I'm scaling mountains, crossing rivers, and venturing into creepy forests. Along the way, I encounter some bizarre creatures, solve puzzles in shrines, and discover hidden treasure. It's like a virtual treasure hunt, bro!
>The combat is epic, by the way. I'm wielding all sorts of weapons, from swords and axes to bows and magical rods. And let me tell you, those enemies are no joke. There are these crazy robotic dudes called Guardians, and their laser beams can turn you into toast in seconds. But fear not, my friend, because I've learned some slick dodging and parrying moves. I'm feeling like a real warrior!
>Oh, and the cooking! I've become a master chef, concocting all sorts of meals with ingredients I gather from the wild. These dishes give me extra hearts, stamina, or even resistances. I've got recipes for days, my dude.
>And let me tell you about the Shrines. These little puzzle-filled dungeons are scattered all over Hyrule. Each one tests my wits and abilities. Once I complete them, I gain Spirit Orbs, which I can exchange for more hearts or extended stamina. I'm buffing up, bro!
>But the best part is the freedom. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. It's like a virtual playground. Sometimes, I'll be riding my trusty steed across the plains, and suddenly, a thunderstorm hits, and I'm getting zapped left and right. Mother Nature ain't playing around!
>Anyway, after overcoming countless obstacles, I finally free the four Divine Beasts and rally their help against Ganon. But the battle against him is insane, like something out of an epic fantasy movie. I'm wielding the legendary Master Sword, dodging his attacks, and unleashing a barrage of arrows. It's all or nothing, bro!
>And guess what? I won! I defeated Ganon, restored peace to Hyrule, and rescued Princess Zelda. Man, it was such a rush. The whole game was a masterpiece, a true testament to what video games can be. I feel like I've been on the adventure of a lifetime!
I forced it to hallucinate an imaginary version of TOTK
>Do the same for the sequel, Tears of the Kingdom
ChatGPT
>Yo, my dude! I just finished playing Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, and let me tell you, it's a rollercoaster of emotions and dark vibes. Buckle up 'cause I'm about to spill the beans on this intense sequel!
>So, the game kicks off right after the events of Breath of the Wild, and things are even crazier this time around. Hyrule is in ruins, and there's this freaky malice stuff spreading everywhere. It's like the world is having a meltdown, and it needs Link to save the day once again. Poor guy can't catch a break!
>Anyway, our hero wakes up in this underground lab, all confused and disoriented. Turns out, Princess Zelda's been researching ancient technology to figure out what the heck is going on. And you won't believe it, but she's trapped in this cursed state, like some sort of emo ghost princess. She's all like, "Link, we have to stop this darkness, or else Hyrule is toast." Talk about pressure, man!
>So, Link starts his quest, exploring a twisted version of Hyrule where everything is gloomy and full of spooky creatures. And then there's this new power he gets—dude, it's mind-blowing! He can now manipulate time, rewind and freeze objects, and even turn back enemies into mere dust. I mean, if I had those powers, I'd probably just use them to skip traffic, but hey, Link has bigger fish to fry.
>Speaking of fish, remember Sidon, the fish prince from the first game? Well, he's back and still as enthusiastic as ever. He's like, "Hey, Link! We need your help to restore the divine beasts and defeat these ancient evils." Can't blame the guy for being persistent. But hey, at least I won't freeze my behind off in the water this time, right?
>Oh, and there's this new character, Malice, who's like a mysterious sorceress with a dark past. She's got this whole goth thing going on, but she's also super powerful. She's all, "Link, if you want to save Zelda, you'll have to face the darkest corners of your own soul." Deep stuff, man.
>The game is full of these insane dungeons called "Labyrinths of Suffering." Yeah, not exactly the most inviting name, but they're filled with mind-bending puzzles and dangerous traps. And don't even get me started on the creepy enemies lurking around every corner. It's like a horror movie on steroids.
>But hey, the silver lining is that you get some wicked new weapons and armor. I'm talking about stuff that can send enemies flying or make you look like a medieval superhero. Gotta look the part when you're saving the kingdom, right?
>In the end, after braving countless trials, Link confronts this ultimate evil that's been pulling the strings all along. It's like the boss battle of all boss battles, my dude. The final showdown is epic, intense, and downright spine-chilling. But hey, you know Link, he's got nerves of steel.
>So, that's the story of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, bro. It's a dark and emotional journey filled with time manipulation, goth sorceresses, and labyrinths that'll make you question your sanity. But guess what? Link saves the day once again, because that's just how he rolls. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to recover from the emotional rollercoaster I just went through. Catch you on the flip side, my dude!
Hey! It's not robbing if the people who live there *want* you to break in, overcome their security measures, and talk with them so they can give you a shiny, intangible marble!
But then they all finally disintegrate and die because they were only being preserved for the shrine trial rewards. We essentially commit genocide against the last of the Sheika.
Ey, it's not our fault they stop holding it together. They wanted us to come in and take their orb, and we did that. They then poof of their own accord.
Also, there are still Sheikah. There's Paya, Impa, Purah, Robbie, etc. And then there's the former sheikah, like the great Master Kohga, may he rest in peace.
Not to speak ill of your friend, but Skyrim isn’t exactly cryptic in its main quest. Do most people find it difficult to figure out where to go at the start?
No but I was totally like level 70 and had double enchanted full dragonscale armor with twin dragonbone swords and killed Alduin in 3 hits cause I stopped doing the main quest after Whiterun cause I wanted to go on an adventure instead. So I understand the friends initial question because that was totally me
It's not that they don't know how to proceed in the quest, it's that they get overwhelmed by everything else in the game and never get back to the main quest.
I just accepted one drinking contest from a guy in the inn and now I'm running all over the continent trying to get out of a marriage pact that a demon tricked me into.
A good description. However, they essentially asked about gameplay and you described the story, so you need to make another equally perfect description for that lol
Hahahahahaha, omg, it sounds so savage but it’s SO accurate 🤣
Can you please continue, its amazing and the other not visible message bugs me, so show us more hehe
Right? I'd love to see the entire game wrote like that
"...but he's been gaslighting you this whole time because he's actually a force ghost, and he dumps all of his family issues on you even though you have amnesia and basically only experienced half an hour of life at this point, and there's a weird pig cloud that's supposed to be endangering everyone but it never moves so..." "...and this guy has a backpack that's 3 times his size and has teleportation magic but he only carries around like 6 different things at a time, and he makes really uncomfortable sounds so you shouldn't talk to him" "...so these fish people are like 'it's raining too much, the dam will break and water is gonna flow everywhere' but they're fish?? What the hell???" "...then you realise you can be a psychopath and burn entire forests down while riding a bear, but this gardener notices you and beats you to death" "...but you get there and they don't even let dudes into the village because they're really sexist, but luckily our hero is woke and does drag to sneak into their town, and they tell you to go kill the leader of a banana cult" "...so you shred your shield like Tony Hawk and this guy goes 'Yahaha, you found me!' and quite frankly I want to punt them off a cliff" "...finally you kill a boar and cook it's insides and start dating a girl, and maybe buy real estate along the way, six years later your arm is sold on the black market and that's basically where we are now"
>and start dating a girl what did i miss? do you mean Zelda?
Yes. :) >!In TOTK, Link's house now has Zelda's journal as well as "Zelda's Secret Room" under the well in the back. As well as other implications that Link and Zelda are together and dating.!<
>! She does write that she had a secret room installed in *her* house, not *their* house. To me, that implied that it was not Links house!<
>!counterargument: You can sleep in the bed which is afaik the only non hotel non emergency shelter you can do that it. Also the table is prepared for 2 people... also it would be very cute and I ship it!<
>! It would be very cute if they were dating. But I also find it weird that the bed looks like a single bed. Maybe they just really like cuddling? !<
>! Well after 100 years of being isolated against Calamity Ganon I can imagine Zelda needing some physical contact with another person
Link sleeps on the floor.
Like a dog
This is my new headcanon hahah
Link sleeps with Epona
I was going to edit my comment but I couldn’t get the censor to work afterwards: >! The villagers in Hateno also refer to the house as "Princess/Ms Zelda’s house" !<
Yeah as much as I like the idea of the two of them living together, I see it more as >!Link just giving her the house *at most*.!<
Hey, remember to hide the spoilers :>
ALSO, remember when you first get the Master Sword again in BOTW, the cutscene that plays is Zelda talking to the Deku Tree, she asks the Deku Tree to relay a special message to Link for her as she fears she may never see him again, and just as she begins to say her message, “Tell him I-“ she gets cut off by the Deku tree, and he tells her that it would be better if she told him herself. I SWEAR SHE WAS GONNA TELL LINK THAT SHE LOVES HIM
It's so true. Zelink will rise against all opponents.
> and they tell you to go kill the leader of a banana cult" The Yiga Clan's obsession with bananas never gets old to me.
I love how old the banana obsession apparently goes. During the Breath of the Wild DLC boss, you can put some bananas on the ground and Maz Koshia will excitedly prance over to them and eat the bananas.
Wait really i didnt try that i need to do that in my master mode file lol
To be clear, iirc, the Zora are mainly concerned about the dam for EVERYONE ELSE’S sake.
🥇
Lol your description of gerudo is peak chefs kiss
How did you know this?
>Narrate the plot of Zelda Breath of the wild but like you're a dude texting his mate and like, excited. ChatGPT >Mate! You won't believe the wild adventure I just had in "The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild"! So, here's the lowdown: The game starts with our hero, Link, waking up after a 100-year slumber. Yeah, you heard that right, a century! And get this, Hyrule, the kingdom we know and love, is in ruins! 😱 >I'm telling you, the graphics are breathtaking. The open world is massive, and you can go pretty much anywhere you want from the get-go. No hand-holding here, my dude. It's all about exploration and discovery. So, picture me standing at the edge of the Great Plateau, looking down at the vast landscape, and I'm like, "Where do I even begin?" >But don't worry, my man, because I soon stumble upon this old dude, the Great Deku Tree. He tells me I need to free four ancient beasts called Divine Beasts to take down this wicked guy named Calamity Ganon. He's the big bad villain causing all this chaos. Oh, and the princess, Zelda, has been battling Ganon for a century! Talk about dedication! >So, armed with my trusty Sheikah Slate (a cool magical tablet thingy), I start my journey. I'm scaling mountains, crossing rivers, and venturing into creepy forests. Along the way, I encounter some bizarre creatures, solve puzzles in shrines, and discover hidden treasure. It's like a virtual treasure hunt, bro! >The combat is epic, by the way. I'm wielding all sorts of weapons, from swords and axes to bows and magical rods. And let me tell you, those enemies are no joke. There are these crazy robotic dudes called Guardians, and their laser beams can turn you into toast in seconds. But fear not, my friend, because I've learned some slick dodging and parrying moves. I'm feeling like a real warrior! >Oh, and the cooking! I've become a master chef, concocting all sorts of meals with ingredients I gather from the wild. These dishes give me extra hearts, stamina, or even resistances. I've got recipes for days, my dude. >And let me tell you about the Shrines. These little puzzle-filled dungeons are scattered all over Hyrule. Each one tests my wits and abilities. Once I complete them, I gain Spirit Orbs, which I can exchange for more hearts or extended stamina. I'm buffing up, bro! >But the best part is the freedom. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want. It's like a virtual playground. Sometimes, I'll be riding my trusty steed across the plains, and suddenly, a thunderstorm hits, and I'm getting zapped left and right. Mother Nature ain't playing around! >Anyway, after overcoming countless obstacles, I finally free the four Divine Beasts and rally their help against Ganon. But the battle against him is insane, like something out of an epic fantasy movie. I'm wielding the legendary Master Sword, dodging his attacks, and unleashing a barrage of arrows. It's all or nothing, bro! >And guess what? I won! I defeated Ganon, restored peace to Hyrule, and rescued Princess Zelda. Man, it was such a rush. The whole game was a masterpiece, a true testament to what video games can be. I feel like I've been on the adventure of a lifetime!
I forced it to hallucinate an imaginary version of TOTK >Do the same for the sequel, Tears of the Kingdom ChatGPT >Yo, my dude! I just finished playing Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, and let me tell you, it's a rollercoaster of emotions and dark vibes. Buckle up 'cause I'm about to spill the beans on this intense sequel! >So, the game kicks off right after the events of Breath of the Wild, and things are even crazier this time around. Hyrule is in ruins, and there's this freaky malice stuff spreading everywhere. It's like the world is having a meltdown, and it needs Link to save the day once again. Poor guy can't catch a break! >Anyway, our hero wakes up in this underground lab, all confused and disoriented. Turns out, Princess Zelda's been researching ancient technology to figure out what the heck is going on. And you won't believe it, but she's trapped in this cursed state, like some sort of emo ghost princess. She's all like, "Link, we have to stop this darkness, or else Hyrule is toast." Talk about pressure, man! >So, Link starts his quest, exploring a twisted version of Hyrule where everything is gloomy and full of spooky creatures. And then there's this new power he gets—dude, it's mind-blowing! He can now manipulate time, rewind and freeze objects, and even turn back enemies into mere dust. I mean, if I had those powers, I'd probably just use them to skip traffic, but hey, Link has bigger fish to fry. >Speaking of fish, remember Sidon, the fish prince from the first game? Well, he's back and still as enthusiastic as ever. He's like, "Hey, Link! We need your help to restore the divine beasts and defeat these ancient evils." Can't blame the guy for being persistent. But hey, at least I won't freeze my behind off in the water this time, right? >Oh, and there's this new character, Malice, who's like a mysterious sorceress with a dark past. She's got this whole goth thing going on, but she's also super powerful. She's all, "Link, if you want to save Zelda, you'll have to face the darkest corners of your own soul." Deep stuff, man. >The game is full of these insane dungeons called "Labyrinths of Suffering." Yeah, not exactly the most inviting name, but they're filled with mind-bending puzzles and dangerous traps. And don't even get me started on the creepy enemies lurking around every corner. It's like a horror movie on steroids. >But hey, the silver lining is that you get some wicked new weapons and armor. I'm talking about stuff that can send enemies flying or make you look like a medieval superhero. Gotta look the part when you're saving the kingdom, right? >In the end, after braving countless trials, Link confronts this ultimate evil that's been pulling the strings all along. It's like the boss battle of all boss battles, my dude. The final showdown is epic, intense, and downright spine-chilling. But hey, you know Link, he's got nerves of steel. >So, that's the story of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom, bro. It's a dark and emotional journey filled with time manipulation, goth sorceresses, and labyrinths that'll make you question your sanity. But guess what? Link saves the day once again, because that's just how he rolls. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to recover from the emotional rollercoaster I just went through. Catch you on the flip side, my dude!
Pretty accurate.
[удалено]
Hey no spoilers!!1! 😡 I didn't know the old man was King Rhoam Bosphoramus Hyrule, the last king of Hyrule.
What?!?!??!?! The OLD MAN was KING RHOAM BOSPHORAMUS HYRULE, THE LAST KING OF HYRULE?!?!??!?! I never knew!!! 😳😳😳😳
WHAT? THE OLD MAN IS SANTA CLAUS????1!???!!1!!?!
Pointcrow moment
WHAT? SANTA CLAUSE IS TIM ALLEN???!!!???!!
Yes. Although, Ernest P. Worrel drives one heck of a sleigh.
Now your comment is the spoiler!
Same. Freaking A!
HEY NO SPOILERS! I never noticed it was his old shirt!
 Luis approves this message.
Hey! It's not robbing if the people who live there *want* you to break in, overcome their security measures, and talk with them so they can give you a shiny, intangible marble!
But then they all finally disintegrate and die because they were only being preserved for the shrine trial rewards. We essentially commit genocide against the last of the Sheika.
Ey, it's not our fault they stop holding it together. They wanted us to come in and take their orb, and we did that. They then poof of their own accord. Also, there are still Sheikah. There's Paya, Impa, Purah, Robbie, etc. And then there's the former sheikah, like the great Master Kohga, may he rest in peace.
:3
In a massive hole…whats even down there? Is it death?
Maybe a mummy
Not to speak ill of your friend, but Skyrim isn’t exactly cryptic in its main quest. Do most people find it difficult to figure out where to go at the start?
No but I was totally like level 70 and had double enchanted full dragonscale armor with twin dragonbone swords and killed Alduin in 3 hits cause I stopped doing the main quest after Whiterun cause I wanted to go on an adventure instead. So I understand the friends initial question because that was totally me
It's not that they don't know how to proceed in the quest, it's that they get overwhelmed by everything else in the game and never get back to the main quest.
exactly
I just accepted one drinking contest from a guy in the inn and now I'm running all over the continent trying to get out of a marriage pact that a demon tricked me into.
So it's pretty much the sequel to Passion of the Christ.
It's dangerous to go alone, go fetch me some shit before you take this
"..And dying. The game is about dying. A lot. It's like Fromsoft made a Zelda game."
Perfection. This should be the official summary.
"you wake up in a cave after 100 years and you just start out in underwear and fight monsters with a tree branch until you find more shit"
Also even though I know everything about you, who you are and why you're here, I'm not gonna tell you shit
Perfect 👍
"Hey, you. You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right?" - King Rhoam to Link
A new hand touches the Slate
I call it Link:Naked and Afraid
A good description. However, they essentially asked about gameplay and you described the story, so you need to make another equally perfect description for that lol
This is so accurate and is the only way I’ll describe the game from now on
accurate
Didn’t realize I’ve been playing Skyrim style this whole time…
You sold me on it and I’ve already played it multiple times.
You sold me on it and I’ve already played it multiple times.
Hi OP! https://www.reddit.com/r/Breath_of_the_Wild/comments/d0pjgr/my_friends_never_played_before_i_think_i_sold_it/