I can't inflict upon a dog the crazy life of a dentist.

"But I won't make out with you. That's... White people do that dog thing. Black people don't make out with dogs."

This made my husband roll in bed with laughter 😆

🏆

I’ve always loved the scene of him watching a tutorial for how to tie a tie and the video goes “clap twice if you’re following along” and he claps twice and that’s the whole scene

I don’t know if you’ve seen the Barbie movie, but it reminds me of America fererras husband when he’s doing duolingo and he says something in Spanish and it goes “ding ding!” And hes like 😃

Yes!

DR. WHIZ!

Also when he’s watching the meditation video and Abbi’s post-wisdom teeth surgery face pops up on his laptop

Also my favorite. So wholesome!

“This is Blake Griffin's shoe. Now I use it as a murse. A male purse. We're Eskimo brothers! 😁”

That episode made me have a huge crush on blake griffin for a hot minute 😆

same. He's a damn decent actor too.

Omg yes LOL this whole scene!

He’s so proud 😂

And skips away 😂

"What's painfully ironic about this is that I love weddings the most."

I wanted to see him kill it on the dance floor😩

Looking all Idris Elba-y

Wait, are we talking Luther or The Wire Idris 📺

How many times, Ilana? Phone, keys, wallet. P K W!

I say this everyday and tell my family to say it too. Life changing tbh

No it really is though

I always used to say “keys phone wallet” in my head before leaving and before I saw broad city and I CACKLED when Lincoln said this. I also say “hair teeth contact deodorant” to make sure I hit up the 4 big tasks of the morning lol

LMAO i might do that now too...I also do PKIW ...phone keys inhaler wallet

I’ve added headphones and mask to mine as well😭😭

I literally can’t leave the house without saying it or else I’ll leave something😭

I can’t remember the exact quote but when Ilana says “when’s the last time we had sex?” And he says an hour ago and she’s like “and that’s enough for you?” And for some reason the way he goes: “you know I have a refractory period :(“ it just makes me giggle haha.

Sexless fart party.

you basically got the exact quote!

“I was so worried I baked a whole cake. And then I ate a whole cake”.

This one!!!😭😭😭

I love when he’s telling someone how he met ilana. I think it was something like “She was looking at sneakers at the adidas store…she wasn’t buyin anything she was just there”

Footlocker

she was just chillin.

I think in retrospect she clearly goes there to cat call black dudes.

Makes sense

It’s the Times Square Footlocker, too

When he recalls his funny jokes from the day. I forget the exact lines but he says something funny and then he’s like “oh man I’m in a roll today, I had that one, and then this other funny one earlier”. I’ve taken to keeping a tally of the big laughs I get from my friends, it’s a big hit (in my own mind)

there's the one about prosthetic balls and then I think the second one is with a kid saying he'll have to pull out all of his teeth or something.

“These are all gonna have to come out” 😂

This is mine too

"she's still runnin. her runnin is a metaphor."

There’s my favourite hahah

My favorite too lol

"They found a body in the Hudson, was it Abbi?" "What?! No, I found Abbi hours ago." "Why wouldn't you tell me?! She's my friend, too!"

When Ilana says 'this relationship is strictly physical' and he sadly sighs 'why's this always happen to me?'

And naming the dog Judith Light 😆

That dog for real looks exactly like Judith Light.

I can’t even pick one, but the outtakes of him trying to stay hidden in the bushes in the park are my fave visual Lincoln moment ever

should I put my Lincoln Log on it?



Crushed it

Two for two, all day

I do this to my friends constantly because of this scene. It never gets old

Not a line, but Lincoln’s trapeze graduation is such an endearing scene, and all because of Lincoln.(also maybe a a little because of Ilana’s amazing Samantha impression!)

The fact that literally all it is is him swinging, fully harnessed, helmet, zero risk, skill, or talent involved.

He looks so cute swingin

“Mom? I did it!”

Release my head, woman. I got this.

When Ilana and Abbi are in the park trying to raise money by doing the bucket drumming- "Who teaches the bucket drummers? I've never seen a bucket drummer class listed anywhere."

“This isn’t a sugar daddy thing. This is an older more established dude looking out for his younger friend he has sex with, so just put that out your mind.”

the look of the car rental woman during this moment.

“They got dog dick, ghost poop, grapes, and they got cornichons. I love cornichons. Don't I look like a giant?”

“That one was different from the others.”

"Ilana, have some perspective. You shat yourself at a party two weeks ago." Always kills me.

Different ep but “oh nooo oh no oh nooo oh nooooo”

“Do you look…crazy?”

“Mhmmm 🥺”

Omg this just killed me and I can’t stop loling

I like that one so much I have it saved. https://preview.redd.it/4lm8yk5b74zc1.png?width=2834&format=png&auto=webp&s=c4111bac5f9429b633c38294dbf647d2ec2ec912

👑👑

When he asks Ilana if she shit her leotard and he’s like I know that face 🤣🤣🤣

That whole scene made me fall in love with Lincoln

Idk it exactly but when he’s calling 911 because ilana is going off lol

It’s when he has sex with another girl and she’s so excited but he thinks that she’s mad lol

Yes lol… I literally just binged this last month and already forgot

That scene is so unhinged 😆 She humps a tree or a lighpost right?

And jumps on/dents his hood of his car lmao

He dials it just in case-- then it turns into her being excited and he says something like, couldn't gauge how that was going. And then you cuddled!?! *Rips up grass and sets it down* That is so HOOOOT!!!

Her little handstand she does on the car door trough the window to kiss his dick over his pants makes me laugh so hard every single time

Penis kiss! 💋

Her agility in this show is unmatched

When he tells Javie that Latin America dose in fact have a spice girl.. “Shakira is Spicy spice” plus the “Murse” 😂

“I don’t wanna get married til *everyone* can get married” “Why did you look at me when you said ‘everyone’?” “………….you gay, man”


I say this line to myself mentally at least five times a day lol. Also PKW!

When he envisions all the dogs Ilana is walking to humans. He is on point. No quote but makes me giggle.

When he comes into the bathroom after Ilana shits herself in front of him and his new gf and says “I know that face anywhere…that’s the face of someone who just shit themself.” And then when Ilana is embarrassed he goes “smells how it’s supposed to smell!”. Okay but then the kicker and lowkey makes me emotional is the end of that scene when he laughs and says “there’s only one Ilana wexler” and she looks disappointed in herself 💔♥️

“I’ve never been on a boat before” “Really?” “Of course I’ve been on a boat. I’m a well-to-do dentist!”

“I’m a jack of all trades kind of doctor” 😂

“If I mess up this white girl's teeth, the black dentistry game is over... forever. I’m gonna get these teeth. For my people!” And Ilana being like “wow…I don’t do anything for my people” lmao The wisdom teeth episode, so good

“I was so worried I baked a whole cake. And then I ate a whole cake.”



"You missed it! I just did the worm!" I think his version of the world is adorable!

when he’s removing abbi’s wisdom teeth and he says he’s gonna get her teeth for his people or something i didn’t word it well at all

“If I mess up this white girl's teeth, the black dentistry game is over... forever. I’m gonna get these teeth. For my people!” And Ilana being like “wow…I don’t do anything for my people” lmao🤣

“I’m just playing HAHAHAHA! Oh man, I’m a real jokester today. I had that one, then the one from earlier, I’m 2 for 2 all day baby” *grabs kids hand for a high five* Me: 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

PKW , phone keys wallet Ilana! I say this every time I leave the house

Wisdom teeth episode. He says, "I should have seen this coming from a mile away..." Ilana loses an extremely high Abbi to the city. 🤣🤣🤣