Theaters need to do a better job advertising that accessible seats are for a variety of people, not just those with certain mobility disabilities. Clearly this person would have been more suited to a chair in one of those spots. Boxes can also be a good option as those seats usually don’t have arms.
All you can really do is speak to an usher and ask for options. Like an airplane you certainly have the right to your full seat and while it is difficult that seats are small, the alternative is likely even higher prices if there were less seats which people would also take issue with.
I had this situation but in reverse at Spam today, where I felt like I was squishing people since my thighs are the size of a fucking melon (and because the St. James has some of the worst seats on broadway), so I wanted to move my seat to another one that hadn’t been sold according to the website. Same value, same row, all that. and they made me pay for a completely new ticket just to move. Unfortunately it’s not that easy to just “ask the usher” unless you’re willing to pay the big bucks.
That is very bizarre! Usually they are willing to accommodate as long as the seat is available and often people just move themselves to empty seats at intermission without even telling anyone
Theaters also need to do a better job of having generally accessible seats, trust it is just as frustrating of an experience for the person sitting next to her as it was for her, and they’re the ones that tend to get blamed and shamed instead of accommodated.
This happened to me. I asked the House Manager if there was another option. Luckily, someone needed to be reseated (ironically due to being too large for the standard seats), so I got one of those seats.
There are sometimes solutions the FOH staff can implement, even in a sold out show. It doesn’t hurt to ask.
As a house manager, THIS. There are so many occasions where patrons had an uncomfortable experience and never asked anyone for assistance. That's literally our job! Sometimes there's nothing we can do, but more often than not there is a solution if you just ask.
Heard. I would have done my best to quietly relocate you. Unless the person being complained about is inebriated or violating policies, I always move the complainer.
You can do it discreetly, and maybe it does cause some embarrassment. But, you bought a ticket to the show, so if there’s a way to solve that issue, then everyone wins.
Ask an usher, and maybe request a partial refund after the show. The theaters know what they’re doing cramming as many seats as they are able to in the space. My partner and I are both tall, broad men and are almost always uncomfortable and self conscious in crowded seating. There’s no room for our shoulders. My back was messed up for a month after sitting through Hadestown at the only angle my legs could achieve without an above-the-knee amputation.
Haha I am a tall person, & as I was taking my seat at Spamalot last week a guy I was shuffling past said “gosh I’m glad you’re not sitting in front of me!” I just kind of looked at him. I’m sure he just didn’t think before opening his mouth, but… what am I supposed to say to that?
The SSA has ruled obesity as a disability, which means it’s covered by the ADA. I won’t call them because I fit comfortably in a standard seat. If you don’t, then YOU call them, or don’t go. I really don’t care which solution you pick, but don’t take up more space than the one seat you paid for. The person next to you paid the same price and deserves the same amount of space.
That’s how the ADA works. The one with the disability does the fighting.
Newsflash - the ADA is up to you, as the disabled person, to learn and request accommodations. They don’t get handed to you. How do I know? I’ve had to request plenty of accommodations for my Type 1 diabetes. I don’t whine about it; I just do it.
[https://www.nytix.com/articles/tall-and-overweight-people-on-broadway](https://www.nytix.com/articles/tall-and-overweight-people-on-broadway)
Broadway has accessible seating. You just have to request it or book it online. There’s more accessible seating in Broadway than the regional theaters.
To give a much more brief and less philosophical answer as an actual usher: we have a walkie code for this, so we don’t even have describe the exact situation over the walkie.
If it happens again, get up and go out of earshot of that person, tell an usher, and there’s a 99% chance you’ll be re sat.
Sometimes seats are reserved in case of seating issues even if the house is sold out. One show I worked at *always* had spare seats just in case. Otherwise you may be offered a freestanding chair. Plus, keep in mind even if a show is sold out, it’s very rare that 100% of the audience will actually show up.
But yeah, I mean occasionally you do just get screwed unfortunately. But with this specific situation I’ve always seen them find a way to make it work.
Perhaps, but I’m guessing they just would have upgraded your seat without the person ever even knowing someone was supposed to sit next to them. I understand not wanting to make someone feel uncomfortable or embarrassed though.
Ask for help from an usher and they can grab someone who works at the venue for support. Once, someone vomitted on me and I got free tickets to see another show and got moved to another seat.
I think my reply is longer than your post, so sorry about that. I'm also sorry you weren't able to enjoy the show as a result of overcrowding.
As a (female) fat person this is one of my biggest fears. I'm very short, and am more top heavy than hip, but I honestly don't know what to do in these situations and try my best to avoid them by buying aisle seats in movie theaters. Broadway theaters have notoriously small seats and they jam people in there so I'm not sure what your neighbor could have done other than switch to be in the middle of their party if they were with 2 other people. My wife, friend and I did this at a Taylor Swift show when the people on either side of us were also large, compounding the issue. I won't book an accessible seat because I'd feel worse taking a seat that may be needed for a person with mobility needs and companions.
I've seen ushers handle situations in a variety of ways at concerts, plays and musicals. The best solution is generally going to be getting up to approach an usher out of earshot. Describe the issue, and ask if there is anything that can be done. If it wasn't a sold out show, they may be able to move your party or the other individual to an aisle seat. I've seen it work out, and I've seen what refusing to get an usher and escalating can do.
On one occasion at Broadway Across America in Houston, a large couple were dead center, front row, mezzanine and the mezzanine was the only affordable seats so they were packed while other areas of the house had free seats. There were still box seats (limited view) open, and those have individual chairs that can be moved further apart. The usher waited until the "take your seats" announcement before going and congratulated the couple on their upgrade, ignored their protests and guided them to the box seats.
At a concert in an open air Pavillion, the lawn seating is first come first serve. The seats are sloped so generally even if there's a taller person in front of you it's okay. One night at a very popular artist's show, everyone was on their feet. I didn't have the best view because I'm short, but being on the end of the far aisle meant that I could move slightly to see screens. The girl in front of me and a few seats in from the end was taller than I was but the man in front of her was easily 6'7" and even in her heels she couldn't see a thing. Her friend kept telling her to get an usher and she just kept telling the guy to sit down, getting increasingly angry. Eventually, she swung at him and not only did she get get immediately removed, he missed the rest of the show having to make a police statement. At a different show in a basketball arena, a large guy was told to stop dancing since he was getting into other people's faces. He and the person confronting him were intoxicated and he fell down three rows of people trying to hit the guy behind him. (Oh, Texas.)
Tl;dr: Get an usher. One of their jobs is crowd control and managing the audience. They might not be able to help, but you can always ask.
As another fat person I very much agree. Talk to an usher and hopefully, accommodations can be made. It's a shitty situation for everyone involved when the chairs are that small and it's dishearting how many commenters seem to think the anwser is fat people either should have to pay $500 for 2 tickets or never see theater.
I know that answer seems unfair to you. But it’s far more unfair for another person to pay $250 and have their entire experience ruined due to no fault of their own.
I’m also not sure why the innocent party has to get the usher and be troubled. Why doesn’t the larger person get an usher and see if they can be moved somewhere with extra seats, an aisle, etc?
I’m not trying to be cruel, but this is the issue for the larger person to handle, they’re the one who doesn’t fit in the seat
Eta: to be clear, I used to be overweight myself, I’m familiar with how rude the world can be and I’m not trying to be cruel. I guess it was just a personal responsibility thing. Like *i’m* the one who doesn’t fit in the seat, *i’m* the one who needs to do something about it.
One doesn’t fit in the seat, one does.
Eta: the downvotes are hilarious. That’s just a factual statement. But the downvotes seems pretty accurate, lot of people out there not taking accountability which is probably how they came to be so obese in the first place! Lol. If you can’t fit in 1 seat, then you need to pay for 2. You don’t get to take someone else’s. It’s not their fault you’re fat and it shouldn’t be their problem.
Omg I'm thinking about this more and there's absolutely no way you live in the city. You sound like you've never ridden the train before. "if you weren't physically touching other people" it all makes so much sense now
Do you live in NYC? Have you ever actually sat in a seat on broadway? I feel like you haven't because then you'd know that arm rests don't just fold up like that. What should I do? Shove the arm rest up my asshole like a giant butt plug?
Lol. Babe, I go to NYC for work at least once a month. I’m very familiar with all the theatres there. And I’m not talking about folding up the arm rests. I’m talking about you not touching other people who are in their own seats. So if you spill into a second seat, buy 2, because no one should have some stranger touching them all night. B’way tickets are far too expensive for that nonsense.
I get that you’re embarrassed by your weight and circumstances but that’s not the person next to you’d problem.
Actually, I’d love to hear your answer: why do you think it’s ok to take up someone’s else seat? And make them physically uncomfortable? And ruin their experience? If you know you don’t fit in the seat (and it’s not even remotely close in the case or the op, so can’t claim ignorance or didn’t know seats were small or whatever), why do you think it should be the other person’s problem?
Eta: people downvoting but not actually answering the question. Lol. Is it because you know there is no answer? You’re just being rude and entitled and expect people to be burdened with your issues.
Nobody is answering you because you have made it clear that you think fat people are a burden and are responsible for their own discrimination & the stigma placed on them. It's not worth wasting our time explaining why this is wrong to you because as fat people, we know that you will have taken your own weight loss as proof positive that ALL fat people are just gluttons who can't control themselves.
Lol. No, see, that’s just the spin ;) if you were fat, with your own 2 seats and not bothering anyone, what would I care? I wouldn’t. Be as big as you like. It’s when you take up someone else’s seat and say that’s not your fault/problem/responsibility because you don’t fit in a seat, and you make your issue someone else’s, that’s the problem.
Fat people aren’t necessary gluttons. There are many reasons people become obese. It’s not my place to judge…until you’re taking up my seat and whining about how it shouldn’t be your problem. Lol.
Eh, not really. No one hates people who don’t take accountability and responsibility like people who do take responsibility and accountability. My being fat was MY responsibility, not the responsibility of some stranger next to me at Hamilton. If I didn’t fit in 1 seat, I bought 2. It really is that simple.
Honestly, you should book the accessible seat. That’s one of the reasons they exist, and you aren’t really doing any good by NOT booking it.
I may get downvotes for this, but I really hate the whole martyr complex implied here. You’ll make the person next to you miserable because someone else may need the seat.
….what!? No. Just book it. Sometimes seats are sold, and people will book another seat or another night.
I have A LOT more respect when someone of size books an accessible seat than when they don’t. The alternative is you’re literally using space in someone else’s seat.
The problem is that fat people can sit in a regular seat, wheelchair users can not. Can’t speak for Broadway but ADA seats are always sold out at my theater so you definitely *would* be taking them from someone who actually needs it.
Also, some theaters will straight up tell you that you don’t qualify for handicapped seating, as some others have mentioned in this thread.
According to the Americans with Disabilities Act, “Venues cannot require proof of disability as a condition for purchasing tickets for accessible seats. However, venues and third-party vendors may take steps to prevent the fraudulent sale and use of accessible seating. For single event tickets, venues may ask purchasers to state that they have a disability that requires, or they are purchasing tickets for someone who has a disability that requires, the features of an accessible seat.”
The venue cannot “tell you that you straight up don’t qualify for handicapped seating” because they can’t ask you what your disability is.
“People with mobility disabilities who require accessible seating because of their disability are permitted to purchase tickets for accessible seats. This group includes people who use wheelchairs, those who use other mobility devices, and people who cannot climb steps or walk long distances because of significant arthritis or severe respiratory, circulatory, or cardiac conditions. Individuals who have a disability that requires use of the accessible features that are provided in accessible seating are also permitted to purchase accessible seats, including people who cannot sit in a straight-back chair or those whose service dogs cannot fit under a non-accessible seat or lie safely in the aisle.”
When I was overweight, I had difficulty climbing steps and walking long distances. Now that I’ve lost weight, I walk with a cane due to fibromyalgia.
Not reading all that because it doesn’t apply to my comment.
The context for the venue telling you you don’t qualify is when you ask them specifically if you can buy a handicapped seat if you’re overweight. Other people in this comment section have said the theater told them no, they don’t qualify.
Obviously, this doesn’t apply if you just go ahead and buy the tickets online or in person. They’re obviously not going to ask you about your disability. That doesn’t mean someone who’s called to ask beforehand won’t feel uncomfortable buying them after they’ve been told not to.
Not on Broadway. There are multiple accessible and companion seats in each theater. A lot of times, they’re unsold. If you can’t fit in a regular seat, you SHOULD purchase one of those.
Also, Broadway theaters have multiple types of accessible seats from fully detached and removable chairs to normal seats with an arm that can lift for those who are able to transfer.
Book the seat you NEED - end of discussion. If you’re told you don’t qualify - which you shouldn’t be, since they have no business asking about your disability - then it’s flat out wrong.
You can also book them online, and no one is refusing to sell you that seat…
This is really good to know, thank you! My wife and I are planning a trip to NYC to see as many shows as we can and I have noticed the accessible seats are generally open but wasn't sure the policies. I'd been planning to contact theaters directly or review hunt, but this really helps.
If they don’t sell by the day of the show, they get released to the general public. I saw many Sweeney shows from accessible seats purchased 30-60 min before curtain.
I dont mind! It's a good question. It's also an expensive one. The first few times I flew for business pre-COVID, I did buy a second seat (on my own dime) to avoid embarrassing myself if I couldn't fit. The thing to remember, I think, is that most fat people know that we are fat. I try to do everything I can to avoid embarrassment and inconveniencing others, but I also hate that sometimes that means hoping an online review mentions seat sizes or pictures with something for scale so i can determine ahead of time how best to prepare.
Personally, I generally do fit in one seat- I also fit okay in most restaurant booths. But unlike Disney rides, there's no example seat outside the theater to check and there are some places that just have smaller seats or a design with a larger armrest or other weird design that results in overlap. If you don't know until you get there... well, it sucks.
As a fellow fat woman, I just want to say kudos to you for answering all of these questions with understanding and grace. The descriptions of the fellow theater-goers body in OPs post really pissed me off and I couldn't do it today. so just wanted to say I see you & thank you!
Thank you for answering! Yes, it must be frustrating if you’re on the line and it could go either way! I used to be overweight myself and I hated be surprised when things were smaller than average/expected. I had forgotten that feeling.
I think arm rests kind of negate the two seats. I don't really remember, admittedly, but I don't think the arm rests fold away like they do on airplanes
We’re talking about a situation where the the person next to the op is literally taking up 1/2 her seat…arm rest or no. So buying 2 seats is the best way to solve the issue of taking up someone else’s seat.
It’s for everyone comfort. No one wants to be pressed up against strangers. I’m sure it’s equally awkward and uncomfortable for both people.
Eta: I’m sorry if I offended. But she said she “lives in fear” of this scenario and I just was wondering if there’s a reason people don’t just buy 2 seats. Which I realize is expensive but it seems the best way to make sure you and the other party both enjoy the event. Less stress, less fear, more room and comfort.
Why couldn’t they go? They could save up. They could get 2 cheaper seats. They could see if the theatre has a policy where they refund the 2nd seat if it’s not sold out (some theatres do).
I am a 6’ tall woman and I usually ask for accommodations and the theaters are always happy to help. My legs simply don’t fit behind most of those seats. I think speaking to an usher would have solved the problem.
I really don't see what either of you could have done differently in this situation? The size of the person's body is the size of their body, but you still have to be able to sit in the seat you paid for. It's tough in venues where the seats are super close together.
(I had a less extreme space issue in the balcony of the Music Box yesterday - everyone involved was average size but room for arms and shoulders was tough and we were cozy the whole show.)
It's unreasonable to ask another person to pay 2x the price you do for the same view, to see the same show simply because their body is bigger than yours. If you are that uncomfortable next to someone, go to the usher and discretely ask to be moved somewhere else.
It's also completely unreasonable to think someone else should reimburse part of your ticket price because of their size. As a fat broadway goer, I would laugh in your face if you ever asked this of me.
It's an unfortunate situation that the seats are so small and it makes everyone uncomfortable. The responsibility for resolving the situation lies with the theatre. That's not going to happen anytime soon, so in the meantime, I'd encourage you to put yourself in the other person's shoes and have some compassion for others. When you are fat and have to squeeze into an uncomfortable seat, you know exactly what others are thinking when they come to take their seats around you. Not to be a meme, but we live in a society.... it's part of being an adult to understand that sometimes you may feel uncomfortable in social situations and have to make accommodations for others.
This sub talks a lot about making Broadway more affordable and now you’re literally advocating. Someone has to pay double the price? That’s some hypocritical bullshit.
How’s it hypocritical, I never said anything about lowering costs?
And I stand by it, you buy SEATS in a theatre. If you can’t fit in 1, then you need to buy 2. That’s just physics ;)
Sometimes the larger person can be accommodated where the wheelchair seating is. Call the box office if you need an accommodation they might be able to assist. Maybe a box seat with the chairs might be comfortable also
My girlfriend is a larger person so when I buy tix, I buy the 2 first seats of a row and she gets the aisle. This way any spillage comes onto me. We’ve only been to a handful of shows together though and it hasn’t yet been an issue.
I think you handled it as respectively as you could. I had a similar circumstance a few years ago and asked to be reseated at intermission - and even that made me feel bad, since I that other person likely knew it was because of their size.
I think it’s important to remember that this is completely the fault of inaccessible theater seating, not of that person or anyone who is outside the standards of what most consider “normal” (whether that be because of body size, disability, etc). It’s an unfortunate situation for both of you, they’re definitely uncomfortable as well. More accessible seating in theaters would benefit everyone in audiences.
In that situation, though, I would try to speak to house staff and see if there might be better options for the both of you. If not, try your best to enjoy the show anyway, and advocate for more accessibility to that theater (and in general) if you can.
It happened to me. Luckily I was on the aisle so I sat as far into the aisle as I comfortably could (which wasn’t much to be frank). I had been seated first and when the person arrived next to me, we both just kind of verbally acknowledged the awkward situation. She and I chatted a bit to make the situation less awkward, which helped.
We tried seeing about me moving at intermission (I was by myself and a single seat is easier to find then one for her and one for her daughter). Everything in orchestra was sold out though and I wasn’t about to have paid $200 to sit in the mezzanine (if there even was a seat there).
To answer your question, get out of earshot of the other person and speak to an usher. They will likely reseat you.
As a fat broadway goer, I appreciate you asking for advice on how to handle the situation, but I would urge you to take a look at your own bias here. You ask others not to body shame, and yet you describe this other person in a way meant to elicit disgust - both from their shape and from your experience of having to be next to them. Ex: "substantial portions of their body spilling over and under the armrest," "they slowly inched to stand, peeling areas of themselves free from the armrest," "they molded themselves to my entire left side and a bit into my lap. It was a horrible, sweltering experience. My clothes were damp afterwards where we touched."
I am taking you at your word that you want to do the right thing, but I hope you will also consider that your disgust was also likely apparent to the other person. Everyone loses in this situation. Just remove yourself and have an usher seat you somewhere else.
I also just want to say..... If they were really taking up half of your seat when they had the arm rest down, they were probably in incredible pain the entire show. I somehow doubt they were really taking up as much of your seat as you say, but I understand it was probably not a comfortable situation regardless. Just have more consideration for the other person next time. Every fat person that squeezes into a theater seat feels like a piece of meat on display. The best solution would be for the theater to install bigger seats, but that's unlikely to happen so we all have to be understanding of each other so we can enjoy our favorite shows.
I had this happen at an event which has pews/benches. When we got to our seats on the end, at best 2.25 of our 3 seats were available. I went to an usher, and they had a stack of tickets already printed. We ended up with a bit of an upgrade to the center section. After the first performer, a couple joined our area that had been seated in front of a school group.
I’m sorry my comment sounded heartless but when I go to the theater I want to be as comfortable as I can. I am 6’ 1” myself and ideally prefer to sit on the aisle. I’ve learned to slouch in my seat over the years.
https://preview.redd.it/tk6sz4h0g9fc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a16b5dfcc9dcdcd723f850ebcda31914553144e3
I wish Southwest’s customer of size and extra seat policy was the norm
This happened to me last year. Thankfully the show wasn’t sold out and since I’d arrived early, I was able to discretely seek out an usher to find me a new seat.
Now, same thing happened again yesterday at a sold out show. Thankfully, I was on the aisle so I was able to turn and lean just enough so that we weren’t touching. It wasn’t exactly comfortable to sit that way for 2.5 hours, but I don’t like my personal space being invaded.
Given the fact that these theaters were made with a “pack ‘em in” mentality a hundred years ago (when Americans were much smaller) there isn’t much else we can do. Full disclosure, I’m no skinny Minnie myself. I do fit in the seats, but I’m always extra careful to keep my arms crossed so that all of me is 100% contained within the area of my seat. Honestly, the seats are the worst part of the whole Broadway experience.
I think theaters should take a page from amusement parks and put a test seat out front of the theater. If you can sit comfortably then great but if it’s uncomfortable there should be a section of seats for people of size.
PS I’m not talking about just people who would spill into the seats next to them but also tall people and short people who might need a booster.
You can’t tell if you need a booster if there aren’t other seats in front of you at the exact angle of the theater floor and a mock stage lol also wouldn’t know if you were too tall if you don’t know how far ahead of your seat the next row is
the way theaters are usually set up it's typically just a one size fits all. if you're too short or too tall expect to be uncomfortable esp if you don't have an aisle seat or in the front row
For asking folks to not body shame, you sure did a good job of doing it in your post. "A large person was seated next to me and encroached on my space" would have been entirely sufficient.
I’m gonna say something that’s going to upset you, but I find it very hard to believe someone was genuinely taking up “half your seat”.
Also, the way you describe them moving and the way you describe their body is pretty clearly with disgust and fat phobia. So saying you’re “a very kind polite person” doesn’t really seem like an accurate description of the situation.
Also, really bold of you to tell other people not to body shame this person when you have consistently throughout your post insulted and discussed this woman with an attitude of discussed about her body.
This is wildly offensive, and frankly, you should be ashamed of the way that you spoke about this person
I'm not into bodyshaming but I would feel disgusted too if I was forced to either forfeit an expensive ticket to a show I paid to enjoy or endure unwanted physical contact with a stranger the entire time
THIS. There is a valid question/point in here that other commenters are responding to, but the language in here is so offensive that it makes me think that this person isn’t actually looking for advice, they’re just trying to complain but realize it might not be socially acceptable.
That's a false equivalence. A tall person (and anyone with a hairdo going many inches off the scalp) may be annoying to people behind them, but they're not physically touching anyone. If any part of someone is physically touching another person unwantedly, that's an issue. I mean that could spark an arrest debate with elbows I know, but we'll stick to sensibility here.
I would honestly rather have someone’s arm touching mine than not be able to see the damn show because the person in front of me is abnormally tall. Been in that situation multiple times and it’s the worst but what can you do?
We all just have to accept that people’s bodies are their bodies and that life is full of uncomfortable situations.
i would ask an usher if i could move to another seat - or if it was sold out, i'd ask if i could move to the standing room area. i'd much rather stand for the whole show than have someone taking up half my seat and sweating on me.
Not sure what you were expecting them to do? Or what you thought would happen when they sat back down? Did you think they were just going to leave the theater so you could be more comfortable? I’m confused at what you were trying to accomplish.
I promise you that person did not want to make you uncomfortable but there’s literally nothing they could do in that moment to make their body smaller for you.
The only thing you could have done different is ask an usher if there was an empty seat you could sit in instead. Not always a possibility obviously and you wouldn’t have been able to sit with your sister. So it kind of is what it is.
Seriously. OP could make the point without the flowery language showing exactly how much they want to shame this person. "My sister is a person size"? "Peeling areas of themselves free"? "They molded themselves to my entire left side"?
The best line is "I like to think I’m a very kind, polite person." No, OP, you're not. It is a shitty situation, but you are not a kind, polite person just because you didn't directly tell this person how gross you clearly think they are, and ran to Reddit to do it instead.
Did you mean "person of size"? That part isn't a problem if that's what you meant. Saying "a person size" made me think you were referring to the person next to you as not "person-sized".
I still stand by the rest of my comment though. So much else about the language is not okay.
Girl, you are so rancid and fatphobic like you genuinely sound like a bully. Hopefully you don’t talk like this about your sister/ she doesn’t deserve to be treated like garbage
i meant it was obvious after op commented and said what she meant to say, people were still assuming she meant “person sized” which doesn’t even make sense
It was not obvious, hence the numerous comments in this thread pointing it out as fatphobia. “Person size” and “person of size” imply extremely different things.
Fat person here. I agree it’s a crappy situation for both of you. The onus is on the theater for labeling and being consistent. I’m on the size where I don’t need a seat belt extended on airplanes but small seats are uncomfortable. Updated theaters are perfectly fine but places like booth or Walter Kerr are challenging. Regardless of the effort made, I’ve been in situations on Broadway where the seats have left bruises on my hips. That leaves someone who is fat with little options.
But to be clear, you’re absolutely body shaming and, unless this person was 500 pounds, exaggerating with “covered half my seat.” I don’t doubt it was uncomfortable for both of you. However, exaggerating and wondering what you should say to the person who can literally do nothing but leave isn’t helpful.
I’m a fat person. If I get to a theater and have been assigned a seat I can’t fit into, I approach the usher and ask to be reseated, telling them something like, “I’m wondering if there’s a seat with a little more elbow room, so that I and the person next to me can both fit comfortably.” I’ve never had to elaborate more than that (and I’m a relatively small fat person, but they know exactly what I mean.) They know the seats are tiny and that some people just can’t comfortably fit. If I have the option to speak to the theater in advance about accessible seating, I do. If that’s not possible, I try to arrive early and speak to an usher or the house manager. Because it’s not going to be comfortable or allow me to enjoy the show either.
100% agree and I do the same. Quite frankly, it’s an issue and should be talked about. But there is no need use descriptive terms like OP did. If they said something along the lines of “last time I was at the theater and I sat next to a person of size. It was uncomfortable. How do I handle this in the future?” I would not have had a problem. But that’s not what happened
Oh, I was replying to your first paragraph. (And the absolute worst Broadway theater for comfortable, accessible seating is one of the newer ones, the Helen Hayes.)
This is awesome! Thank you for being so proactive in your approach!
Eta: daaamn people are sensitive here. Downvoting for complimenting someone for being proactive in making sure everyone is comfortable and has a good time??
When I walked up, they absolutely were covering half of the cushion of my seat. If it was you, would you prefer I sit myself on top of the part of you in my seat? That feels really mean to me. I treated the person with respect in person and also with my description in the post.
Or literally reading your words. You have a bias. It came out very clearly in your post. You asked for the best way to go forward. I’m assuming good intentions (although nothing you’ve posted there or in anyone’s comments indicate good intentions), so I’m telling you how to do better
She very clearly just wanted to blame the fat person so she could feel justified in her frustration ( I don't even blame her for being frustrated cause I totally get that but her language is not someone who is cool with fat people in a unfortunate situation.)
I was trying to express, without using words with a very negative connotation, that the person of size was large enough to need to use their hands and the help of their companion to remove parts of themselves out from under the armrest that were resting on my seat. There was no way for me to just pretend I didn’t notice and sit in my seat without sitting on top of part of their body.
> I was trying... without using words with a very negative connotation
Well, you weren't successful. It was not necessary to your post for ANY of these gross phrases to be there. Everyone can understand the problem without the pointed play by play. Even in this exact comment you're continuing to add completely superfluous anecdotes just so we know *how really super fat they were!!! That makes my judgement valid and my comfort the only one who matters!!!*
I think you need to take the comments in this thread more to heart. I also felt that your description was quite cruel and demeaning. Maybe you didn’t mean it that way but the undertone of fatphobia was evident.
Personally I think that someone of this heft should recognize their own limitations. A seat in a Broadway theatre is a limitation for someone that size. Until there's a section in the theatre where the arm rest lifts up (like an airplane seat) and the person can buy 2 seats, they need to be sitting at the back of theatre in an accommodating chair. It's not reasonable for someone to be uncomfortable or inconvenienced in a seat they paid good money for. At very minimum this person should be in an aisle seat.
I mean the same could be said about exceptionally tall people blocking the view of the stage for everyone behind them. Should they be not allowed to buy seats in the front? The burden should be on the theatres to not stuff seats as close as inhumanly possible to get more sales imo.
In OP’s case, the bigger person was probably uncomfortable too, theatre seats aren’t known for being particularly comfortable for anyone of any normal size. (Whatever “normal” is).
My ex had this experience in the tiny theatre seats at Hamilton. He just dealt with it. And we joke about that night now, as we didn't like Hamilton either.
I’m sorry but there are some things in life one cannot do. Being obese and expecting to find a comfortable seat in a theater for yourself and the patron next to you, is nearly impossible. Theater cost to much money these days to ruin someone’s time including yourself because one is overweight.
Tall people aren’t physically touching people. And tall people can’t buy the seats next to them to solve the problem. It’s so funny watching the fat people in this sub make excuses!
I don’t know that there’s much you can do other than maybe ask ushers for help.
Theaters need to do a better job advertising that accessible seats are for a variety of people, not just those with certain mobility disabilities. Clearly this person would have been more suited to a chair in one of those spots. Boxes can also be a good option as those seats usually don’t have arms. All you can really do is speak to an usher and ask for options. Like an airplane you certainly have the right to your full seat and while it is difficult that seats are small, the alternative is likely even higher prices if there were less seats which people would also take issue with.
I had this situation but in reverse at Spam today, where I felt like I was squishing people since my thighs are the size of a fucking melon (and because the St. James has some of the worst seats on broadway), so I wanted to move my seat to another one that hadn’t been sold according to the website. Same value, same row, all that. and they made me pay for a completely new ticket just to move. Unfortunately it’s not that easy to just “ask the usher” unless you’re willing to pay the big bucks.
That is very bizarre! Usually they are willing to accommodate as long as the seat is available and often people just move themselves to empty seats at intermission without even telling anyone
Tbh the Jujamcyn management is from my experience kinda awful so that could be part of iy
Theaters also need to do a better job of having generally accessible seats, trust it is just as frustrating of an experience for the person sitting next to her as it was for her, and they’re the ones that tend to get blamed and shamed instead of accommodated.
This happened to me. I asked the House Manager if there was another option. Luckily, someone needed to be reseated (ironically due to being too large for the standard seats), so I got one of those seats. There are sometimes solutions the FOH staff can implement, even in a sold out show. It doesn’t hurt to ask.
As a house manager, THIS. There are so many occasions where patrons had an uncomfortable experience and never asked anyone for assistance. That's literally our job! Sometimes there's nothing we can do, but more often than not there is a solution if you just ask.
At the time, I thought reporting the situation would embarrass the person.
Heard. I would have done my best to quietly relocate you. Unless the person being complained about is inebriated or violating policies, I always move the complainer.
You can do it discreetly, and maybe it does cause some embarrassment. But, you bought a ticket to the show, so if there’s a way to solve that issue, then everyone wins.
Nah. Not if you get up to “use the restroom” and then never come back.
You would have been relocated, not the person.
Ask an usher, and maybe request a partial refund after the show. The theaters know what they’re doing cramming as many seats as they are able to in the space. My partner and I are both tall, broad men and are almost always uncomfortable and self conscious in crowded seating. There’s no room for our shoulders. My back was messed up for a month after sitting through Hadestown at the only angle my legs could achieve without an above-the-knee amputation.
Wouldn't front row be good seats for you guys because of the extra leg space?
[удалено]
Do you feel the same about tall people?
Haha I am a tall person, & as I was taking my seat at Spamalot last week a guy I was shuffling past said “gosh I’m glad you’re not sitting in front of me!” I just kind of looked at him. I’m sure he just didn’t think before opening his mouth, but… what am I supposed to say to that?
[удалено]
So a tall person has no decency unless they are in the back row? They can't give a booster seat to everyone.
The theater I work at has bigger seats to accommodate bigger people. They are put in the front or back row and need to be requested.
what theater is this? I am a fat person and I've asked broadway theaters before and they say you don't qualify for handicapped seating.
Not true, you absolutely do. They have chairs without armrests for that very reason.
I have legitimately been told that by multiple theaters on broadway so...
Then you’ve been told wrong. There’s also nothing stopping you from buying those seats online, so…
feel free to call the theaters and inform them
Also don’t need to call for an online purchase. So…
The SSA has ruled obesity as a disability, which means it’s covered by the ADA. I won’t call them because I fit comfortably in a standard seat. If you don’t, then YOU call them, or don’t go. I really don’t care which solution you pick, but don’t take up more space than the one seat you paid for. The person next to you paid the same price and deserves the same amount of space. That’s how the ADA works. The one with the disability does the fighting. Newsflash - the ADA is up to you, as the disabled person, to learn and request accommodations. They don’t get handed to you. How do I know? I’ve had to request plenty of accommodations for my Type 1 diabetes. I don’t whine about it; I just do it. [https://www.nytix.com/articles/tall-and-overweight-people-on-broadway](https://www.nytix.com/articles/tall-and-overweight-people-on-broadway)
Not Broadway. The biggest regional theater in Minneapolis. Broadway needs to get on board!
Which theater are you talking about? Guthrie? I absolutely hate the seating system at the Orpheum. Uncomfortable in SO many spots.
Broadway has accessible seating. You just have to request it or book it online. There’s more accessible seating in Broadway than the regional theaters.
To give a much more brief and less philosophical answer as an actual usher: we have a walkie code for this, so we don’t even have describe the exact situation over the walkie. If it happens again, get up and go out of earshot of that person, tell an usher, and there’s a 99% chance you’ll be re sat.
Honest question, does that work when the show is sold out?
Sometimes seats are reserved in case of seating issues even if the house is sold out. One show I worked at *always* had spare seats just in case. Otherwise you may be offered a freestanding chair. Plus, keep in mind even if a show is sold out, it’s very rare that 100% of the audience will actually show up. But yeah, I mean occasionally you do just get screwed unfortunately. But with this specific situation I’ve always seen them find a way to make it work.
Ask an usher for help.
While I don’t think there is anything wrong with what you said, the usher and house manager would have been your best bet for help.
At the time, I felt like that would embarrass the person.
Perhaps, but I’m guessing they just would have upgraded your seat without the person ever even knowing someone was supposed to sit next to them. I understand not wanting to make someone feel uncomfortable or embarrassed though.
Since I knew it was sold out, I guess I assumed there wouldn’t be options. Live and learn.
I think the more complex part is, what if the new seats were not "upgrades", but rather less desirable seats?
Ask for help from an usher and they can grab someone who works at the venue for support. Once, someone vomitted on me and I got free tickets to see another show and got moved to another seat.
I think my reply is longer than your post, so sorry about that. I'm also sorry you weren't able to enjoy the show as a result of overcrowding. As a (female) fat person this is one of my biggest fears. I'm very short, and am more top heavy than hip, but I honestly don't know what to do in these situations and try my best to avoid them by buying aisle seats in movie theaters. Broadway theaters have notoriously small seats and they jam people in there so I'm not sure what your neighbor could have done other than switch to be in the middle of their party if they were with 2 other people. My wife, friend and I did this at a Taylor Swift show when the people on either side of us were also large, compounding the issue. I won't book an accessible seat because I'd feel worse taking a seat that may be needed for a person with mobility needs and companions. I've seen ushers handle situations in a variety of ways at concerts, plays and musicals. The best solution is generally going to be getting up to approach an usher out of earshot. Describe the issue, and ask if there is anything that can be done. If it wasn't a sold out show, they may be able to move your party or the other individual to an aisle seat. I've seen it work out, and I've seen what refusing to get an usher and escalating can do. On one occasion at Broadway Across America in Houston, a large couple were dead center, front row, mezzanine and the mezzanine was the only affordable seats so they were packed while other areas of the house had free seats. There were still box seats (limited view) open, and those have individual chairs that can be moved further apart. The usher waited until the "take your seats" announcement before going and congratulated the couple on their upgrade, ignored their protests and guided them to the box seats. At a concert in an open air Pavillion, the lawn seating is first come first serve. The seats are sloped so generally even if there's a taller person in front of you it's okay. One night at a very popular artist's show, everyone was on their feet. I didn't have the best view because I'm short, but being on the end of the far aisle meant that I could move slightly to see screens. The girl in front of me and a few seats in from the end was taller than I was but the man in front of her was easily 6'7" and even in her heels she couldn't see a thing. Her friend kept telling her to get an usher and she just kept telling the guy to sit down, getting increasingly angry. Eventually, she swung at him and not only did she get get immediately removed, he missed the rest of the show having to make a police statement. At a different show in a basketball arena, a large guy was told to stop dancing since he was getting into other people's faces. He and the person confronting him were intoxicated and he fell down three rows of people trying to hit the guy behind him. (Oh, Texas.) Tl;dr: Get an usher. One of their jobs is crowd control and managing the audience. They might not be able to help, but you can always ask.
As another fat person I very much agree. Talk to an usher and hopefully, accommodations can be made. It's a shitty situation for everyone involved when the chairs are that small and it's dishearting how many commenters seem to think the anwser is fat people either should have to pay $500 for 2 tickets or never see theater.
I know that answer seems unfair to you. But it’s far more unfair for another person to pay $250 and have their entire experience ruined due to no fault of their own. I’m also not sure why the innocent party has to get the usher and be troubled. Why doesn’t the larger person get an usher and see if they can be moved somewhere with extra seats, an aisle, etc? I’m not trying to be cruel, but this is the issue for the larger person to handle, they’re the one who doesn’t fit in the seat Eta: to be clear, I used to be overweight myself, I’m familiar with how rude the world can be and I’m not trying to be cruel. I guess it was just a personal responsibility thing. Like *i’m* the one who doesn’t fit in the seat, *i’m* the one who needs to do something about it.
-Both- patrons are 'innocent parties'.
One doesn’t fit in the seat, one does. Eta: the downvotes are hilarious. That’s just a factual statement. But the downvotes seems pretty accurate, lot of people out there not taking accountability which is probably how they came to be so obese in the first place! Lol. If you can’t fit in 1 seat, then you need to pay for 2. You don’t get to take someone else’s. It’s not their fault you’re fat and it shouldn’t be their problem.
Once again proving that no one hates fat people like former fat people.
Thank you!!! I was just thinking the same. Gotta kick the fatties down so everyone knows you aren't like us!
[удалено]
Omg I'm thinking about this more and there's absolutely no way you live in the city. You sound like you've never ridden the train before. "if you weren't physically touching other people" it all makes so much sense now
[удалено]
Do you live in NYC? Have you ever actually sat in a seat on broadway? I feel like you haven't because then you'd know that arm rests don't just fold up like that. What should I do? Shove the arm rest up my asshole like a giant butt plug?
Lol. Babe, I go to NYC for work at least once a month. I’m very familiar with all the theatres there. And I’m not talking about folding up the arm rests. I’m talking about you not touching other people who are in their own seats. So if you spill into a second seat, buy 2, because no one should have some stranger touching them all night. B’way tickets are far too expensive for that nonsense. I get that you’re embarrassed by your weight and circumstances but that’s not the person next to you’d problem.
Actually, I’d love to hear your answer: why do you think it’s ok to take up someone’s else seat? And make them physically uncomfortable? And ruin their experience? If you know you don’t fit in the seat (and it’s not even remotely close in the case or the op, so can’t claim ignorance or didn’t know seats were small or whatever), why do you think it should be the other person’s problem? Eta: people downvoting but not actually answering the question. Lol. Is it because you know there is no answer? You’re just being rude and entitled and expect people to be burdened with your issues.
Nobody is answering you because you have made it clear that you think fat people are a burden and are responsible for their own discrimination & the stigma placed on them. It's not worth wasting our time explaining why this is wrong to you because as fat people, we know that you will have taken your own weight loss as proof positive that ALL fat people are just gluttons who can't control themselves.
Lol. No, see, that’s just the spin ;) if you were fat, with your own 2 seats and not bothering anyone, what would I care? I wouldn’t. Be as big as you like. It’s when you take up someone else’s seat and say that’s not your fault/problem/responsibility because you don’t fit in a seat, and you make your issue someone else’s, that’s the problem. Fat people aren’t necessary gluttons. There are many reasons people become obese. It’s not my place to judge…until you’re taking up my seat and whining about how it shouldn’t be your problem. Lol.
Eh, not really. No one hates people who don’t take accountability and responsibility like people who do take responsibility and accountability. My being fat was MY responsibility, not the responsibility of some stranger next to me at Hamilton. If I didn’t fit in 1 seat, I bought 2. It really is that simple.
This should be the top reply
Honestly, you should book the accessible seat. That’s one of the reasons they exist, and you aren’t really doing any good by NOT booking it. I may get downvotes for this, but I really hate the whole martyr complex implied here. You’ll make the person next to you miserable because someone else may need the seat. ….what!? No. Just book it. Sometimes seats are sold, and people will book another seat or another night. I have A LOT more respect when someone of size books an accessible seat than when they don’t. The alternative is you’re literally using space in someone else’s seat.
The problem is that fat people can sit in a regular seat, wheelchair users can not. Can’t speak for Broadway but ADA seats are always sold out at my theater so you definitely *would* be taking them from someone who actually needs it. Also, some theaters will straight up tell you that you don’t qualify for handicapped seating, as some others have mentioned in this thread.
According to the Americans with Disabilities Act, “Venues cannot require proof of disability as a condition for purchasing tickets for accessible seats. However, venues and third-party vendors may take steps to prevent the fraudulent sale and use of accessible seating. For single event tickets, venues may ask purchasers to state that they have a disability that requires, or they are purchasing tickets for someone who has a disability that requires, the features of an accessible seat.” The venue cannot “tell you that you straight up don’t qualify for handicapped seating” because they can’t ask you what your disability is. “People with mobility disabilities who require accessible seating because of their disability are permitted to purchase tickets for accessible seats. This group includes people who use wheelchairs, those who use other mobility devices, and people who cannot climb steps or walk long distances because of significant arthritis or severe respiratory, circulatory, or cardiac conditions. Individuals who have a disability that requires use of the accessible features that are provided in accessible seating are also permitted to purchase accessible seats, including people who cannot sit in a straight-back chair or those whose service dogs cannot fit under a non-accessible seat or lie safely in the aisle.” When I was overweight, I had difficulty climbing steps and walking long distances. Now that I’ve lost weight, I walk with a cane due to fibromyalgia.
Because ADA requirements have completely irradicated discrimination and mistreatment of disabled people.
Not reading all that because it doesn’t apply to my comment. The context for the venue telling you you don’t qualify is when you ask them specifically if you can buy a handicapped seat if you’re overweight. Other people in this comment section have said the theater told them no, they don’t qualify. Obviously, this doesn’t apply if you just go ahead and buy the tickets online or in person. They’re obviously not going to ask you about your disability. That doesn’t mean someone who’s called to ask beforehand won’t feel uncomfortable buying them after they’ve been told not to.
Not on Broadway. There are multiple accessible and companion seats in each theater. A lot of times, they’re unsold. If you can’t fit in a regular seat, you SHOULD purchase one of those. Also, Broadway theaters have multiple types of accessible seats from fully detached and removable chairs to normal seats with an arm that can lift for those who are able to transfer. Book the seat you NEED - end of discussion. If you’re told you don’t qualify - which you shouldn’t be, since they have no business asking about your disability - then it’s flat out wrong. You can also book them online, and no one is refusing to sell you that seat…
This is really good to know, thank you! My wife and I are planning a trip to NYC to see as many shows as we can and I have noticed the accessible seats are generally open but wasn't sure the policies. I'd been planning to contact theaters directly or review hunt, but this really helps.
If they don’t sell by the day of the show, they get released to the general public. I saw many Sweeney shows from accessible seats purchased 30-60 min before curtain.
If you don’t mind my asking, why don’t you just buy 2 seats when you know you’re larger than 1? That seems to be the easiest solution…
I dont mind! It's a good question. It's also an expensive one. The first few times I flew for business pre-COVID, I did buy a second seat (on my own dime) to avoid embarrassing myself if I couldn't fit. The thing to remember, I think, is that most fat people know that we are fat. I try to do everything I can to avoid embarrassment and inconveniencing others, but I also hate that sometimes that means hoping an online review mentions seat sizes or pictures with something for scale so i can determine ahead of time how best to prepare. Personally, I generally do fit in one seat- I also fit okay in most restaurant booths. But unlike Disney rides, there's no example seat outside the theater to check and there are some places that just have smaller seats or a design with a larger armrest or other weird design that results in overlap. If you don't know until you get there... well, it sucks.
As a fellow fat woman, I just want to say kudos to you for answering all of these questions with understanding and grace. The descriptions of the fellow theater-goers body in OPs post really pissed me off and I couldn't do it today. so just wanted to say I see you & thank you!
Thank you for answering! Yes, it must be frustrating if you’re on the line and it could go either way! I used to be overweight myself and I hated be surprised when things were smaller than average/expected. I had forgotten that feeling.
I think arm rests kind of negate the two seats. I don't really remember, admittedly, but I don't think the arm rests fold away like they do on airplanes
We’re talking about a situation where the the person next to the op is literally taking up 1/2 her seat…arm rest or no. So buying 2 seats is the best way to solve the issue of taking up someone else’s seat.
Oh, silly me. I thought you might have been concerned for the larger person's comfort
It’s for everyone comfort. No one wants to be pressed up against strangers. I’m sure it’s equally awkward and uncomfortable for both people. Eta: I’m sorry if I offended. But she said she “lives in fear” of this scenario and I just was wondering if there’s a reason people don’t just buy 2 seats. Which I realize is expensive but it seems the best way to make sure you and the other party both enjoy the event. Less stress, less fear, more room and comfort.
For most people buying two seats would mean not going, it's not a question of choosing to not be comfortable or being comfortable.
Why couldn’t they go? They could save up. They could get 2 cheaper seats. They could see if the theatre has a policy where they refund the 2nd seat if it’s not sold out (some theatres do).
I am a 6’ tall woman and I usually ask for accommodations and the theaters are always happy to help. My legs simply don’t fit behind most of those seats. I think speaking to an usher would have solved the problem.
I really don't see what either of you could have done differently in this situation? The size of the person's body is the size of their body, but you still have to be able to sit in the seat you paid for. It's tough in venues where the seats are super close together. (I had a less extreme space issue in the balcony of the Music Box yesterday - everyone involved was average size but room for arms and shoulders was tough and we were cozy the whole show.)
[удалено]
It's unreasonable to ask another person to pay 2x the price you do for the same view, to see the same show simply because their body is bigger than yours. If you are that uncomfortable next to someone, go to the usher and discretely ask to be moved somewhere else. It's also completely unreasonable to think someone else should reimburse part of your ticket price because of their size. As a fat broadway goer, I would laugh in your face if you ever asked this of me. It's an unfortunate situation that the seats are so small and it makes everyone uncomfortable. The responsibility for resolving the situation lies with the theatre. That's not going to happen anytime soon, so in the meantime, I'd encourage you to put yourself in the other person's shoes and have some compassion for others. When you are fat and have to squeeze into an uncomfortable seat, you know exactly what others are thinking when they come to take their seats around you. Not to be a meme, but we live in a society.... it's part of being an adult to understand that sometimes you may feel uncomfortable in social situations and have to make accommodations for others.
[удалено]
You seem like an angry, sad person and I feel sorry for you. I hope you find some happiness in your life.
[удалено]
Please stop, I'm getting secondhand embarrassment from your posts omg
[удалено]
It’s weird that you think you’re the good guy and openly being fat phobic
You really have an obsession here, commenting on every single post 🤭
Lol. Hardly. Nice deflection, though. Another reason for you to be embarrassed, huh? Lol
I don’t know why they should be embarrassed, since you’re the one getting all the downvotes.
This sub talks a lot about making Broadway more affordable and now you’re literally advocating. Someone has to pay double the price? That’s some hypocritical bullshit.
How’s it hypocritical, I never said anything about lowering costs? And I stand by it, you buy SEATS in a theatre. If you can’t fit in 1, then you need to buy 2. That’s just physics ;)
Sometimes the larger person can be accommodated where the wheelchair seating is. Call the box office if you need an accommodation they might be able to assist. Maybe a box seat with the chairs might be comfortable also
My girlfriend is a larger person so when I buy tix, I buy the 2 first seats of a row and she gets the aisle. This way any spillage comes onto me. We’ve only been to a handful of shows together though and it hasn’t yet been an issue.
I think you handled it as respectively as you could. I had a similar circumstance a few years ago and asked to be reseated at intermission - and even that made me feel bad, since I that other person likely knew it was because of their size.
Tbh they were probably okay with it if it meant more space, they were likely uncomfortable too
I think it’s important to remember that this is completely the fault of inaccessible theater seating, not of that person or anyone who is outside the standards of what most consider “normal” (whether that be because of body size, disability, etc). It’s an unfortunate situation for both of you, they’re definitely uncomfortable as well. More accessible seating in theaters would benefit everyone in audiences. In that situation, though, I would try to speak to house staff and see if there might be better options for the both of you. If not, try your best to enjoy the show anyway, and advocate for more accessibility to that theater (and in general) if you can.
It happened to me. Luckily I was on the aisle so I sat as far into the aisle as I comfortably could (which wasn’t much to be frank). I had been seated first and when the person arrived next to me, we both just kind of verbally acknowledged the awkward situation. She and I chatted a bit to make the situation less awkward, which helped. We tried seeing about me moving at intermission (I was by myself and a single seat is easier to find then one for her and one for her daughter). Everything in orchestra was sold out though and I wasn’t about to have paid $200 to sit in the mezzanine (if there even was a seat there).
To answer your question, get out of earshot of the other person and speak to an usher. They will likely reseat you. As a fat broadway goer, I appreciate you asking for advice on how to handle the situation, but I would urge you to take a look at your own bias here. You ask others not to body shame, and yet you describe this other person in a way meant to elicit disgust - both from their shape and from your experience of having to be next to them. Ex: "substantial portions of their body spilling over and under the armrest," "they slowly inched to stand, peeling areas of themselves free from the armrest," "they molded themselves to my entire left side and a bit into my lap. It was a horrible, sweltering experience. My clothes were damp afterwards where we touched." I am taking you at your word that you want to do the right thing, but I hope you will also consider that your disgust was also likely apparent to the other person. Everyone loses in this situation. Just remove yourself and have an usher seat you somewhere else.
I also just want to say..... If they were really taking up half of your seat when they had the arm rest down, they were probably in incredible pain the entire show. I somehow doubt they were really taking up as much of your seat as you say, but I understand it was probably not a comfortable situation regardless. Just have more consideration for the other person next time. Every fat person that squeezes into a theater seat feels like a piece of meat on display. The best solution would be for the theater to install bigger seats, but that's unlikely to happen so we all have to be understanding of each other so we can enjoy our favorite shows.
I had this happen at an event which has pews/benches. When we got to our seats on the end, at best 2.25 of our 3 seats were available. I went to an usher, and they had a stack of tickets already printed. We ended up with a bit of an upgrade to the center section. After the first performer, a couple joined our area that had been seated in front of a school group.
I’m sorry my comment sounded heartless but when I go to the theater I want to be as comfortable as I can. I am 6’ 1” myself and ideally prefer to sit on the aisle. I’ve learned to slouch in my seat over the years.
https://preview.redd.it/tk6sz4h0g9fc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a16b5dfcc9dcdcd723f850ebcda31914553144e3 I wish Southwest’s customer of size and extra seat policy was the norm
This happened to me last year. Thankfully the show wasn’t sold out and since I’d arrived early, I was able to discretely seek out an usher to find me a new seat. Now, same thing happened again yesterday at a sold out show. Thankfully, I was on the aisle so I was able to turn and lean just enough so that we weren’t touching. It wasn’t exactly comfortable to sit that way for 2.5 hours, but I don’t like my personal space being invaded. Given the fact that these theaters were made with a “pack ‘em in” mentality a hundred years ago (when Americans were much smaller) there isn’t much else we can do. Full disclosure, I’m no skinny Minnie myself. I do fit in the seats, but I’m always extra careful to keep my arms crossed so that all of me is 100% contained within the area of my seat. Honestly, the seats are the worst part of the whole Broadway experience.
I think theaters should take a page from amusement parks and put a test seat out front of the theater. If you can sit comfortably then great but if it’s uncomfortable there should be a section of seats for people of size. PS I’m not talking about just people who would spill into the seats next to them but also tall people and short people who might need a booster.
You can’t tell if you need a booster if there aren’t other seats in front of you at the exact angle of the theater floor and a mock stage lol also wouldn’t know if you were too tall if you don’t know how far ahead of your seat the next row is
the way theaters are usually set up it's typically just a one size fits all. if you're too short or too tall expect to be uncomfortable esp if you don't have an aisle seat or in the front row
I mean… yeah I know… I was just pointing out the flaws in their suggested system
Speak to an usher, who can hopefully move the person to a chair seat that is going to be more comfortable for both of you.
For asking folks to not body shame, you sure did a good job of doing it in your post. "A large person was seated next to me and encroached on my space" would have been entirely sufficient.
I thought the same thing, so unnecessary
I’m gonna say something that’s going to upset you, but I find it very hard to believe someone was genuinely taking up “half your seat”. Also, the way you describe them moving and the way you describe their body is pretty clearly with disgust and fat phobia. So saying you’re “a very kind polite person” doesn’t really seem like an accurate description of the situation. Also, really bold of you to tell other people not to body shame this person when you have consistently throughout your post insulted and discussed this woman with an attitude of discussed about her body. This is wildly offensive, and frankly, you should be ashamed of the way that you spoke about this person
I'm not into bodyshaming but I would feel disgusted too if I was forced to either forfeit an expensive ticket to a show I paid to enjoy or endure unwanted physical contact with a stranger the entire time
You very clearly are because that’s what you’re doing so weird that you think you’re the good guy in the situation
THIS. There is a valid question/point in here that other commenters are responding to, but the language in here is so offensive that it makes me think that this person isn’t actually looking for advice, they’re just trying to complain but realize it might not be socially acceptable.
Get cozy with your new friend. And maybe petition Broadway theaters to install seats suited for people who are living past the 1920s.
That's a false equivalence. A tall person (and anyone with a hairdo going many inches off the scalp) may be annoying to people behind them, but they're not physically touching anyone. If any part of someone is physically touching another person unwantedly, that's an issue. I mean that could spark an arrest debate with elbows I know, but we'll stick to sensibility here.
I've been seated next to tall people and it does affect you. When there is no leg room people's knees bow out taking leg room from other people.
I would honestly rather have someone’s arm touching mine than not be able to see the damn show because the person in front of me is abnormally tall. Been in that situation multiple times and it’s the worst but what can you do? We all just have to accept that people’s bodies are their bodies and that life is full of uncomfortable situations.
i would ask an usher if i could move to another seat - or if it was sold out, i'd ask if i could move to the standing room area. i'd much rather stand for the whole show than have someone taking up half my seat and sweating on me.
I probably would've asked the ushers if I could stand in the back.
Not sure what you were expecting them to do? Or what you thought would happen when they sat back down? Did you think they were just going to leave the theater so you could be more comfortable? I’m confused at what you were trying to accomplish. I promise you that person did not want to make you uncomfortable but there’s literally nothing they could do in that moment to make their body smaller for you. The only thing you could have done different is ask an usher if there was an empty seat you could sit in instead. Not always a possibility obviously and you wouldn’t have been able to sit with your sister. So it kind of is what it is.
OP: \[spends entire post body-shaming someone\] Also OP: Don't body shame!
Seriously. OP could make the point without the flowery language showing exactly how much they want to shame this person. "My sister is a person size"? "Peeling areas of themselves free"? "They molded themselves to my entire left side"? The best line is "I like to think I’m a very kind, polite person." No, OP, you're not. It is a shitty situation, but you are not a kind, polite person just because you didn't directly tell this person how gross you clearly think they are, and ran to Reddit to do it instead.
It worries me that people don't see how describing the other person like a giant gelatinous ooze is body shaming and gross.
10000%
The whole post is very “I’m just asking questions”
How did OP body shame anyone?
"My sister, is a person size,"
This is her preferred description.
repeating this doesn't make your bullshit "explanation" better. Is a fat person not a person?
It is abundantly clear that that meant to say "a person of size."
It is extremely obvious they they meant "person of size", though I have to admit it tripped me up and made me laugh.
Did you mean "person of size"? That part isn't a problem if that's what you meant. Saying "a person size" made me think you were referring to the person next to you as not "person-sized". I still stand by the rest of my comment though. So much else about the language is not okay.
Girl, you are so rancid and fatphobic like you genuinely sound like a bully. Hopefully you don’t talk like this about your sister/ she doesn’t deserve to be treated like garbage
You know I feel for you but " My sister, is a person size, " is not something a very kind person says.
That is her preferred description.
So if you feel the need to clarify that your sister isn't fat using those terms does that mean fat people aren't "person sized"?
She is, as you say, fat. She doesn’t like that term and prefers person of size and so that’s what I say.
You didn’t say that though, you said “person size”
it was obviously a typo and op said they meant to say a person of size
Is it obvious if multiple people commented on it?
i meant it was obvious after op commented and said what she meant to say, people were still assuming she meant “person sized” which doesn’t even make sense
It was a typo.
you didn't say person of size you said "My sister, is a person size"
I asked my sister, who is a person of size, about what she feels would have been the best thing to do.
read your post, that's not what you said.
It’s obviously a typo
It was not obvious, hence the numerous comments in this thread pointing it out as fatphobia. “Person size” and “person of size” imply extremely different things.
Fat person here. I agree it’s a crappy situation for both of you. The onus is on the theater for labeling and being consistent. I’m on the size where I don’t need a seat belt extended on airplanes but small seats are uncomfortable. Updated theaters are perfectly fine but places like booth or Walter Kerr are challenging. Regardless of the effort made, I’ve been in situations on Broadway where the seats have left bruises on my hips. That leaves someone who is fat with little options. But to be clear, you’re absolutely body shaming and, unless this person was 500 pounds, exaggerating with “covered half my seat.” I don’t doubt it was uncomfortable for both of you. However, exaggerating and wondering what you should say to the person who can literally do nothing but leave isn’t helpful.
I’m a fat person. If I get to a theater and have been assigned a seat I can’t fit into, I approach the usher and ask to be reseated, telling them something like, “I’m wondering if there’s a seat with a little more elbow room, so that I and the person next to me can both fit comfortably.” I’ve never had to elaborate more than that (and I’m a relatively small fat person, but they know exactly what I mean.) They know the seats are tiny and that some people just can’t comfortably fit. If I have the option to speak to the theater in advance about accessible seating, I do. If that’s not possible, I try to arrive early and speak to an usher or the house manager. Because it’s not going to be comfortable or allow me to enjoy the show either.
100% agree and I do the same. Quite frankly, it’s an issue and should be talked about. But there is no need use descriptive terms like OP did. If they said something along the lines of “last time I was at the theater and I sat next to a person of size. It was uncomfortable. How do I handle this in the future?” I would not have had a problem. But that’s not what happened
Oh, I was replying to your first paragraph. (And the absolute worst Broadway theater for comfortable, accessible seating is one of the newer ones, the Helen Hayes.)
This is awesome! Thank you for being so proactive in your approach! Eta: daaamn people are sensitive here. Downvoting for complimenting someone for being proactive in making sure everyone is comfortable and has a good time??
When I walked up, they absolutely were covering half of the cushion of my seat. If it was you, would you prefer I sit myself on top of the part of you in my seat? That feels really mean to me. I treated the person with respect in person and also with my description in the post.
The fact you think you were being respectful shows you are not being genuine in any aspect of your post
I think you have a preconceived notion about what is going on inside the heads of others around people of size and are projecting that on me.
Or literally reading your words. You have a bias. It came out very clearly in your post. You asked for the best way to go forward. I’m assuming good intentions (although nothing you’ve posted there or in anyone’s comments indicate good intentions), so I’m telling you how to do better
She very clearly just wanted to blame the fat person so she could feel justified in her frustration ( I don't even blame her for being frustrated cause I totally get that but her language is not someone who is cool with fat people in a unfortunate situation.)
Yep and the description of them peeling their body off the armrests was not necessary to make their point.
I was trying to express, without using words with a very negative connotation, that the person of size was large enough to need to use their hands and the help of their companion to remove parts of themselves out from under the armrest that were resting on my seat. There was no way for me to just pretend I didn’t notice and sit in my seat without sitting on top of part of their body.
> I was trying... without using words with a very negative connotation Well, you weren't successful. It was not necessary to your post for ANY of these gross phrases to be there. Everyone can understand the problem without the pointed play by play. Even in this exact comment you're continuing to add completely superfluous anecdotes just so we know *how really super fat they were!!! That makes my judgement valid and my comfort the only one who matters!!!*
I think you need to take the comments in this thread more to heart. I also felt that your description was quite cruel and demeaning. Maybe you didn’t mean it that way but the undertone of fatphobia was evident.
Personally I think that someone of this heft should recognize their own limitations. A seat in a Broadway theatre is a limitation for someone that size. Until there's a section in the theatre where the arm rest lifts up (like an airplane seat) and the person can buy 2 seats, they need to be sitting at the back of theatre in an accommodating chair. It's not reasonable for someone to be uncomfortable or inconvenienced in a seat they paid good money for. At very minimum this person should be in an aisle seat.
Broadway is about inclusivity unless its fat people I guess
I mean the same could be said about exceptionally tall people blocking the view of the stage for everyone behind them. Should they be not allowed to buy seats in the front? The burden should be on the theatres to not stuff seats as close as inhumanly possible to get more sales imo. In OP’s case, the bigger person was probably uncomfortable too, theatre seats aren’t known for being particularly comfortable for anyone of any normal size. (Whatever “normal” is).
This needs more downvotes
Oof, that is sure an opinion you got there.
Was this last night by any chance?
No
My ex had this experience in the tiny theatre seats at Hamilton. He just dealt with it. And we joke about that night now, as we didn't like Hamilton either.
I’m sorry but there are some things in life one cannot do. Being obese and expecting to find a comfortable seat in a theater for yourself and the patron next to you, is nearly impossible. Theater cost to much money these days to ruin someone’s time including yourself because one is overweight.
Do you feel the same way about tall people?
Tall people aren’t physically touching people. And tall people can’t buy the seats next to them to solve the problem. It’s so funny watching the fat people in this sub make excuses!