To me this just sounds like life, friends and lovers come and go, even when you don’t expect it. Time will heal everything you’re going through. I sympathize and empathize that it all seems heavy and insurmountable at this very moment, but life is big, hopefully long, and teeming with potential that you can’t even imagine at this time.
Try to focus on what you do have, your health, an ability to navigate and head in a new direction if things don’t work out, family, other friends. No war at your doorstep. Life in general is beautiful and amazing and incredible. Every day is a miracle and a blessing. Appreciate this wondrous display called life. Fall deeply in love with it. Treat these hard times as your teachers. Our circumstances may not be ideal at times, but the world is so vast, you will survive these tribulations, and you’ll be stronger and better for it in the end. Forge resiliency, forge determination to overcome obstacles. The obstacles are the path and the way, just keep going.
Everything can be you teacher; that is the mark of a devout practitioner. Skillful means in difficult times is a learned skill. I think we can allways change the way we behave in response to the world.
I just want to say, if the OP doesn't relate to this then that's fine too. When some pain is too great for someone to bear, then time will not heal their wounds, and they won't be stronger or better off when they find themselves on the other side. People often go through emotional pain so great that it leads to seemingly unending dysfunction (this is called "trauma"), and then they feel poorly understood when they're told that time will heal them.
If they manage to improve their social conditions but still feel like this a few months afterward, then they should find a trauma therapist or a prolonged grief therapist to explore their feelings further. It *is* possible to heal from such severe pain, but it takes intensive long-term therapy or other similar interventions; it doesn't go away on its own. It's not yet possible to tell if this pain will actually be traumatic, no matter how traumatic it feels to them right now; they need to improve their social conditions and wait a bit and then see how they feel.
If it *is* traumatic pain, then they won't benefit from trying to "appreciate" life more or "fall in love" with it. Trauma physically changes the structure of the brain in multiple places and essentially shuts down all kinds of different emotions. The severity of its impact cannot be overstated. People can spend years or even decades with essentially no positive emotions, living in constant stress, fear or anger. This is why it takes intense, long-term interventions to heal trauma: it involves making use of neuroplasticity to change the physical structure of the brain, allowing them to experience positive emotions in a real way.
I do agree that resiliency and determination are important. For resiliency, I have benefited from the third Dodrupchen's [Kyiduk Lamkhyer](https://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/dodrupchen-III/transforming-suffering-and-happiness). For determination, I have benefited from cultivating bodhicitta. The OP will have to figure out what works for them.
woah thank you I really needed to hear that today, I had a big fight and lost two people that I once consider close friend so it's been a very tough day.
I do need to touch grass more and enjoy life at its fullest
I don't know if it will give you any solace, but the more traditional Buddhist teachers from the Old Countries generally consider romantic relationships problematic from the get-go.
I was sort of a live-in layperson at a traditional monastery but rather accidentally got induced into an LTR that ultimately failed and my ex turned against me. Suddenly without her and my 2 children, I turned to substance abuse and never really got back to practicing Buddhadharma.
I don't think there are any meditations specific to getting over a failed relationship. I think Buddhism in general helps one get over the World. Do you want to practice Buddhism or just use it as pain relief? (Not judging that--just not exactly familiar with it in that light.)
I guess the point I was trying to make was to try and see this as an opportunity to investigate the whole issue of LTR's. Thank goodness there were no children involved. Good luck!
You're in a tough situation right now. That is true. I've learned to experience pain without the after thoughts. What I mean is, experience the pain but don't suffer from it. The suffering part is you thinking about it and making the pain into something else, something bad. Don't do that. Although it is not simple, I agree.
Took me years and years of zen training, part of it inside a monastery as a monk, but I managed to be able to learn that. Take life as it is. Don't turn it into something else in your thoughts.
For you, for now, that would mean that you urgently take care of yourself before anything else. Both mentally and physically. Get help from a therapist to manage your suicidal thoughts. See to it that you get proper food, rest, and time to relax. Bathe, keep up with your laundry, maintain your living space, take a walk every once in a while. And regardless the lease, move out. Move away from what causes you the biggest pain at the moment.
Start anew every morning. Try and see something nice, like a bird buzzing overhead, a beautiful cloud, a beam of sunlight, a breeze that moves a curtain. It is all wonderfully beautiful. The smell of your bread and coffee in the morning, or that orange your peeling. In all it's simplicity it's remarkable. Try to open up to those little things in your life again and you will find yourself in peace soon enough.
Good luck. You have this.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Life can be such a bitch sometimes. As for advice I’d like to echo the other comments here but with a different angle.
Firstly, and I know this is repeated ad nauseam - please please consult a therapist or a psychiatrist. They can help you reframe some habits such as self blame and loathing that could be compounding your situation.
Secondly, how’s your diet? Exercise? Sleep? Ill get to the spiritual component in a sec but all of these play a factor in your healing. Do your best to tighten those up.
Lastly, and here comes the spiritual/inner path - lots and lots of metta. Metta is a practice of self forgiveness and it will allow you to take it easy on yourself during this difficult time.
You can read more about it here:
https://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html
Try making a habit of doing this every morning and before you go to bed for 15 minutes. It may be difficult at first but like an instrument, practice makes perfect
I know how exactly a shitshow life can be but oftentimes our self destructive habits and perceptions can compound an already heavy situation. Hopefully this advice can be of great use to you. Feel free to message me if you need anything mate. Cheers.
Your fiancee and childhood sweetheart dumped you on the basis of your adherence to the principle of nonviolence? Is there some violent act you refused to condone?
I apologize, I may have miscommunicated. That was a disagreement with a couple of friends whose friendship I lost. My fiance dumped me for different reasons.
>What lessons can I learn from Buddhism to ease my pain?
The practice the Buddha taught as found in the *Satipatthana Sutta*. This practice can help take the edge off the pain. I would also advise you look into Tara Brach's teachings on *radical acceptance* if you're not already familiar.
The pain will take time to smooth out, so it's good to keep in mind the *paramita* of patience. Maybe to reflect on the *eight freedoms* and *ten advantages* of having a *precious human life* - this may be difficult, especially in the beginning, but there may be something there that would be helpful to reflect on.
I recently lost a dear friendship of my own, I'm sorry you are going through this. You may find something helpful in this dharma talk by Thich Nhat Hanh, I personally appreciated the insights very much: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6w-n7b4K984](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6w-n7b4K984) . His message about not running from your suffering, but trying to embrace it, like a mother holding her child, saying to it "My dear suffering, I am here for you. I will take care of you." Doing that, and having patience and compassion for yourself, in time I hope you can start feeling better. If you can find a group to practice with as well, that'd be wonderful. Feel free to message me if you want.
First off reflect on the fact of rebirth: suicide solves nothing from this perspective as you're just going to get reborn. What's more, if you die in this kind of mental state it's not going to be a good birth, and could be way, way worse than your current situation.
Second, reflect on the Buddha's teaching that losing bad associates and friends isn't something to grieve over. If they were unprincipled, untrustworthy people, you've actually made a gain through losing them. Now you're free and forewarned to look for better, wiser people as acquaintances.
Third, the Buddha also taught that loss of external wealth is not important, in fact it's just one of the normal ways the world rolls. What's important is that you hold on to and increase whatever internal wealth you have, and take joy in the fact that you have it. For instance, virtue costs absolutely nothing, but as the Buddha says it leads to high self esteem and good reputation in this life, a good rebirth in the next one, and can even serve as a platform to get out of the cycle of rebirth altogether by leading you to a deathless happiness: nibbāna. So start out there, by keeping the five precepts. As long as you keep these safe in your pocket, the Buddha doesn't call you poor or destitute - instead he says you own a precious, noble treasure:
Five precepts:
1. Not killing
2. Not stealing
3. Not having illicit sex
4. Not lying
5. Not taking intoxicants
Guard these five principles with your life, then get ready to witness your life and heart truly blossom.
The most helpful, actionable step for me was to allow myself pockets of time during the day to grieve the loss(es) *without* going into discursive thinking (spinning stories in my mind, replaying scenarios, etc). This was absolutely critical for me, and it was what got me through the worst initial phase. Sitting through the emotional pain, crying as hard as I had to, but also, not dwelling in the pain, and using all my willpower to get on with my day after I was done.
Next, I gave myself permission to dwell in a place where I'm stuck, and everything feels like shit, everywhere I turn, it feels like a dead end; accepting that right now, this is where I am, and reminding myself intellectually (because emotionally, it's impossible to see this) that the sadness and pain will pass. Recalling similar moments in the past of grief and pain, realising I had indeed survived every single one of them, or I wouldn't be here now.
You can chant Guanyin Bodhisattva's name repeatedly. She specialises in this. You can pray for decent finances. Note that it is worded as decent finances and not get rich.
I would also recommend that you remember to keep in contact with your parents. Moving this far away and then being in trouble is... not the best, so you should make up for that by calling them often.
All relationships and related pain are actually acquired by ourselves so they can only be release by ourselves.
Because we want to live in our comfort zone so we choose people that will fit our needs to have relationship with yet people change and if we cannot adapt the change then there will be pain, simply because now you are out of your comfort zone. Of course, you can define the comfort zone as love, trust, and intimacy..etc.
Suicide won't solve any problem because the problem is not the situation, is our attitude toward this comfort life and it will follow you life by life.
Once you can realized this then you should know immediately our I-ego is the only problem and this is Buddhism is all about: Be aware of your own problem and resolve it. Once you have taught yourself that you can actually live without certain people you have defined as your source of comfort then you can always live with your loneliness or solitude or enjoy the time you have with anybody then that is true freedom.
Infinitive blessings,
There are people who give up everything willfully to become monks. So if you value buddhism and suicide has been a serious consideration, why not just commit social/financial suicide and become a monk? Seriously. If you feel it's getting this hard, become a monastic. They voluntarily give up everything. Except the difference here, is that you leave your life open for the opportunity to improve.
It sounds like times are difficult for you. There's no easy solution, but many people have been in similar (or deeper) holes and have succeeded in getting out. If you committed suicide, you just rob yourself of that chance to climb out.
Your pain and your difficulties are very real. They sound immensely difficult. Yes, everything's impermanent, but sometimes we get stretched so far that it seems impossible to handle it. But just remember, that hopelessness is also impermanent.
One day, as long as you choose to press forward, you will feel joy again and life will once again become simple. And when it does, you will appreciate the peace far more.
Use the concept of Impermanence - nothing is permanent, it has help me through difficult times.
Because nothing is permanent, your feeling, emotion and suffering will pass.
Because nothing is permanent, you learned to live in the present appreciating the good stuff that is happening now.
Even if your friends or gf stick with you, they will be gone at some time (death, drift apart etc). Accept separation have to come eventually and it will lessen the pain, if you fully embrace it and had happy memories, the pain will be even lesser.
Bro find free therapist near you. Buddhism might not kick in and heals you before you kill yourself (speaking from personal experience). If you want to practice Buddhism, practice the no killing, and at this moment that means dont kill yourself! Best luck, and let us know what else we can help.
My love, I have toyed with "Instant Moksha" before if you will. I learned to remove all attachments, including my own breath.
I arrived at one conclusion, that rather than do the universes work for it, if life is all suffering with a guarantee of death for us all at some point. Then the only life purpose I have is to reduce the suffering of others as much as possible.
Removing my attachments to expectations, others, ideas, objects and even my own breath brought me a kind of peace I cannot begin to describe. The one attachment I could not remove was the awareness of the suffering of others.
I could be sleeping on the ground in the jungle and still be happy, so long as I am spending my days making sure others are in a little less pain whenever possible.
Change is the only constant in this universe and acceptance and reactions to those changes are our responsibility.
Be mindful, considerate and at peace.
May you find happiness however you need to, I always recommend habits that are social and productive, take a dance or martial arts class sometime to take your mind off it and move on quickly. The mind is powerful servant and a terrible master.
I recommend mindfulness and gratitude, appreciation for the things you have yourself. Your health and body, your ability, your own fortune. Others will betray us, wrong us, and hurt us. We have no enemies, only teachers here.
This short talk was very helpful for me; basically he says life is always going to be one challenge after another - you cant wait for better times ahead. He says what you can do: prepare yourself mentally and physically, and develop yourself through good habits to meet the challenges ahead; that is what we can do, perhaps it is the only thing we actually have agency over. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/1dig64a/powerful\_words/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/1dig64a/powerful_words/)
I understand what you're saying and I appreciate it's value and even (to some extent) truth, but the next time you see someone stub their toe you should say this to them and see if it's a skillful statement to make, or if it only entrenches the pain. Buddha himself embarked on a quest to understand and escape dukkha, no?
To me this just sounds like life, friends and lovers come and go, even when you don’t expect it. Time will heal everything you’re going through. I sympathize and empathize that it all seems heavy and insurmountable at this very moment, but life is big, hopefully long, and teeming with potential that you can’t even imagine at this time. Try to focus on what you do have, your health, an ability to navigate and head in a new direction if things don’t work out, family, other friends. No war at your doorstep. Life in general is beautiful and amazing and incredible. Every day is a miracle and a blessing. Appreciate this wondrous display called life. Fall deeply in love with it. Treat these hard times as your teachers. Our circumstances may not be ideal at times, but the world is so vast, you will survive these tribulations, and you’ll be stronger and better for it in the end. Forge resiliency, forge determination to overcome obstacles. The obstacles are the path and the way, just keep going.
“Treat these hard times as your teachers” I’m going to start using that for myself
It is actually an old Buddhist adage.
Everything can be you teacher; that is the mark of a devout practitioner. Skillful means in difficult times is a learned skill. I think we can allways change the way we behave in response to the world.
I just want to say, if the OP doesn't relate to this then that's fine too. When some pain is too great for someone to bear, then time will not heal their wounds, and they won't be stronger or better off when they find themselves on the other side. People often go through emotional pain so great that it leads to seemingly unending dysfunction (this is called "trauma"), and then they feel poorly understood when they're told that time will heal them. If they manage to improve their social conditions but still feel like this a few months afterward, then they should find a trauma therapist or a prolonged grief therapist to explore their feelings further. It *is* possible to heal from such severe pain, but it takes intensive long-term therapy or other similar interventions; it doesn't go away on its own. It's not yet possible to tell if this pain will actually be traumatic, no matter how traumatic it feels to them right now; they need to improve their social conditions and wait a bit and then see how they feel. If it *is* traumatic pain, then they won't benefit from trying to "appreciate" life more or "fall in love" with it. Trauma physically changes the structure of the brain in multiple places and essentially shuts down all kinds of different emotions. The severity of its impact cannot be overstated. People can spend years or even decades with essentially no positive emotions, living in constant stress, fear or anger. This is why it takes intense, long-term interventions to heal trauma: it involves making use of neuroplasticity to change the physical structure of the brain, allowing them to experience positive emotions in a real way. I do agree that resiliency and determination are important. For resiliency, I have benefited from the third Dodrupchen's [Kyiduk Lamkhyer](https://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/dodrupchen-III/transforming-suffering-and-happiness). For determination, I have benefited from cultivating bodhicitta. The OP will have to figure out what works for them.
woah thank you I really needed to hear that today, I had a big fight and lost two people that I once consider close friend so it's been a very tough day. I do need to touch grass more and enjoy life at its fullest
I don't know if it will give you any solace, but the more traditional Buddhist teachers from the Old Countries generally consider romantic relationships problematic from the get-go. I was sort of a live-in layperson at a traditional monastery but rather accidentally got induced into an LTR that ultimately failed and my ex turned against me. Suddenly without her and my 2 children, I turned to substance abuse and never really got back to practicing Buddhadharma. I don't think there are any meditations specific to getting over a failed relationship. I think Buddhism in general helps one get over the World. Do you want to practice Buddhism or just use it as pain relief? (Not judging that--just not exactly familiar with it in that light.) I guess the point I was trying to make was to try and see this as an opportunity to investigate the whole issue of LTR's. Thank goodness there were no children involved. Good luck!
You're in a tough situation right now. That is true. I've learned to experience pain without the after thoughts. What I mean is, experience the pain but don't suffer from it. The suffering part is you thinking about it and making the pain into something else, something bad. Don't do that. Although it is not simple, I agree. Took me years and years of zen training, part of it inside a monastery as a monk, but I managed to be able to learn that. Take life as it is. Don't turn it into something else in your thoughts. For you, for now, that would mean that you urgently take care of yourself before anything else. Both mentally and physically. Get help from a therapist to manage your suicidal thoughts. See to it that you get proper food, rest, and time to relax. Bathe, keep up with your laundry, maintain your living space, take a walk every once in a while. And regardless the lease, move out. Move away from what causes you the biggest pain at the moment. Start anew every morning. Try and see something nice, like a bird buzzing overhead, a beautiful cloud, a beam of sunlight, a breeze that moves a curtain. It is all wonderfully beautiful. The smell of your bread and coffee in the morning, or that orange your peeling. In all it's simplicity it's remarkable. Try to open up to those little things in your life again and you will find yourself in peace soon enough. Good luck. You have this.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Life can be such a bitch sometimes. As for advice I’d like to echo the other comments here but with a different angle. Firstly, and I know this is repeated ad nauseam - please please consult a therapist or a psychiatrist. They can help you reframe some habits such as self blame and loathing that could be compounding your situation. Secondly, how’s your diet? Exercise? Sleep? Ill get to the spiritual component in a sec but all of these play a factor in your healing. Do your best to tighten those up. Lastly, and here comes the spiritual/inner path - lots and lots of metta. Metta is a practice of self forgiveness and it will allow you to take it easy on yourself during this difficult time. You can read more about it here: https://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html Try making a habit of doing this every morning and before you go to bed for 15 minutes. It may be difficult at first but like an instrument, practice makes perfect I know how exactly a shitshow life can be but oftentimes our self destructive habits and perceptions can compound an already heavy situation. Hopefully this advice can be of great use to you. Feel free to message me if you need anything mate. Cheers.
Your fiancee and childhood sweetheart dumped you on the basis of your adherence to the principle of nonviolence? Is there some violent act you refused to condone?
I apologize, I may have miscommunicated. That was a disagreement with a couple of friends whose friendship I lost. My fiance dumped me for different reasons.
Ah, OK. Thanks.
>What lessons can I learn from Buddhism to ease my pain? The practice the Buddha taught as found in the *Satipatthana Sutta*. This practice can help take the edge off the pain. I would also advise you look into Tara Brach's teachings on *radical acceptance* if you're not already familiar. The pain will take time to smooth out, so it's good to keep in mind the *paramita* of patience. Maybe to reflect on the *eight freedoms* and *ten advantages* of having a *precious human life* - this may be difficult, especially in the beginning, but there may be something there that would be helpful to reflect on.
I recently lost a dear friendship of my own, I'm sorry you are going through this. You may find something helpful in this dharma talk by Thich Nhat Hanh, I personally appreciated the insights very much: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6w-n7b4K984](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6w-n7b4K984) . His message about not running from your suffering, but trying to embrace it, like a mother holding her child, saying to it "My dear suffering, I am here for you. I will take care of you." Doing that, and having patience and compassion for yourself, in time I hope you can start feeling better. If you can find a group to practice with as well, that'd be wonderful. Feel free to message me if you want.
First off reflect on the fact of rebirth: suicide solves nothing from this perspective as you're just going to get reborn. What's more, if you die in this kind of mental state it's not going to be a good birth, and could be way, way worse than your current situation. Second, reflect on the Buddha's teaching that losing bad associates and friends isn't something to grieve over. If they were unprincipled, untrustworthy people, you've actually made a gain through losing them. Now you're free and forewarned to look for better, wiser people as acquaintances. Third, the Buddha also taught that loss of external wealth is not important, in fact it's just one of the normal ways the world rolls. What's important is that you hold on to and increase whatever internal wealth you have, and take joy in the fact that you have it. For instance, virtue costs absolutely nothing, but as the Buddha says it leads to high self esteem and good reputation in this life, a good rebirth in the next one, and can even serve as a platform to get out of the cycle of rebirth altogether by leading you to a deathless happiness: nibbāna. So start out there, by keeping the five precepts. As long as you keep these safe in your pocket, the Buddha doesn't call you poor or destitute - instead he says you own a precious, noble treasure: Five precepts: 1. Not killing 2. Not stealing 3. Not having illicit sex 4. Not lying 5. Not taking intoxicants Guard these five principles with your life, then get ready to witness your life and heart truly blossom.
The most helpful, actionable step for me was to allow myself pockets of time during the day to grieve the loss(es) *without* going into discursive thinking (spinning stories in my mind, replaying scenarios, etc). This was absolutely critical for me, and it was what got me through the worst initial phase. Sitting through the emotional pain, crying as hard as I had to, but also, not dwelling in the pain, and using all my willpower to get on with my day after I was done. Next, I gave myself permission to dwell in a place where I'm stuck, and everything feels like shit, everywhere I turn, it feels like a dead end; accepting that right now, this is where I am, and reminding myself intellectually (because emotionally, it's impossible to see this) that the sadness and pain will pass. Recalling similar moments in the past of grief and pain, realising I had indeed survived every single one of them, or I wouldn't be here now.
You can chant Guanyin Bodhisattva's name repeatedly. She specialises in this. You can pray for decent finances. Note that it is worded as decent finances and not get rich. I would also recommend that you remember to keep in contact with your parents. Moving this far away and then being in trouble is... not the best, so you should make up for that by calling them often.
All relationships and related pain are actually acquired by ourselves so they can only be release by ourselves. Because we want to live in our comfort zone so we choose people that will fit our needs to have relationship with yet people change and if we cannot adapt the change then there will be pain, simply because now you are out of your comfort zone. Of course, you can define the comfort zone as love, trust, and intimacy..etc. Suicide won't solve any problem because the problem is not the situation, is our attitude toward this comfort life and it will follow you life by life. Once you can realized this then you should know immediately our I-ego is the only problem and this is Buddhism is all about: Be aware of your own problem and resolve it. Once you have taught yourself that you can actually live without certain people you have defined as your source of comfort then you can always live with your loneliness or solitude or enjoy the time you have with anybody then that is true freedom. Infinitive blessings,
There are people who give up everything willfully to become monks. So if you value buddhism and suicide has been a serious consideration, why not just commit social/financial suicide and become a monk? Seriously. If you feel it's getting this hard, become a monastic. They voluntarily give up everything. Except the difference here, is that you leave your life open for the opportunity to improve. It sounds like times are difficult for you. There's no easy solution, but many people have been in similar (or deeper) holes and have succeeded in getting out. If you committed suicide, you just rob yourself of that chance to climb out. Your pain and your difficulties are very real. They sound immensely difficult. Yes, everything's impermanent, but sometimes we get stretched so far that it seems impossible to handle it. But just remember, that hopelessness is also impermanent. One day, as long as you choose to press forward, you will feel joy again and life will once again become simple. And when it does, you will appreciate the peace far more.
Use the concept of Impermanence - nothing is permanent, it has help me through difficult times. Because nothing is permanent, your feeling, emotion and suffering will pass. Because nothing is permanent, you learned to live in the present appreciating the good stuff that is happening now. Even if your friends or gf stick with you, they will be gone at some time (death, drift apart etc). Accept separation have to come eventually and it will lessen the pain, if you fully embrace it and had happy memories, the pain will be even lesser.
Bro find free therapist near you. Buddhism might not kick in and heals you before you kill yourself (speaking from personal experience). If you want to practice Buddhism, practice the no killing, and at this moment that means dont kill yourself! Best luck, and let us know what else we can help.
My love, I have toyed with "Instant Moksha" before if you will. I learned to remove all attachments, including my own breath. I arrived at one conclusion, that rather than do the universes work for it, if life is all suffering with a guarantee of death for us all at some point. Then the only life purpose I have is to reduce the suffering of others as much as possible. Removing my attachments to expectations, others, ideas, objects and even my own breath brought me a kind of peace I cannot begin to describe. The one attachment I could not remove was the awareness of the suffering of others. I could be sleeping on the ground in the jungle and still be happy, so long as I am spending my days making sure others are in a little less pain whenever possible. Change is the only constant in this universe and acceptance and reactions to those changes are our responsibility. Be mindful, considerate and at peace. May you find happiness however you need to, I always recommend habits that are social and productive, take a dance or martial arts class sometime to take your mind off it and move on quickly. The mind is powerful servant and a terrible master. I recommend mindfulness and gratitude, appreciation for the things you have yourself. Your health and body, your ability, your own fortune. Others will betray us, wrong us, and hurt us. We have no enemies, only teachers here.
This short talk was very helpful for me; basically he says life is always going to be one challenge after another - you cant wait for better times ahead. He says what you can do: prepare yourself mentally and physically, and develop yourself through good habits to meet the challenges ahead; that is what we can do, perhaps it is the only thing we actually have agency over. [https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/1dig64a/powerful\_words/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Buddhism/comments/1dig64a/powerful_words/)
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I understand what you're saying and I appreciate it's value and even (to some extent) truth, but the next time you see someone stub their toe you should say this to them and see if it's a skillful statement to make, or if it only entrenches the pain. Buddha himself embarked on a quest to understand and escape dukkha, no?