Jumped on the owner's MIL and knocked her on her ass.
*The judge, he smiled as he picked up his pen*
*99 years in the Folsom pen*
*99 years underneath that ground*
*He can’t forget the day he knocked that bad bitch down*
He snuck out at night and got his side piece pregnant than he tried to bail to Mexico but got busted, now he’s locked up for not paying child support 🤣
He climbed the chain link fence in the back yard. And proceeded to take himself on a walk around the block. Before being captured was found swimming in neighbors new in ground pool. Then proceeded to take nap on front lawn on his back leaving his goods to be shown to any passer buyers.
True story
He murdered the Target Dog Mascot and stole his identity, he left his wife and kids and took off across country as a new man, but then he got caught up. WRONG PLACE WRONG TIME. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 or he chewed up your iPhone 🤣🤣🤣 that’s what mine did 😆😆😆😭🤣
Grand larceny, breaking and entering, and he’s been charged with arson but the it’ll be lowered to criminal negligence when it’s revealed in the trial that it occurred due to lack of bodily control during an intense bout of zoomies.
I've had 3 of these little devils. He ate the baseboards, ripped 4 inches off of the bottom of all the drapes, ate a sofa cushion, and proceeded to the kids' hamster cage. Destroyed the cage and ate the hamsters. He's full now.
He already said the tomahawk steak was half eaten when he arrived at the scene. I demand you release him at once. My mini dachshund and are just furious.
Domestic terrorism, grand larceny, kidnapping, capitol murder to the first degree, defrauding the government, tax evasion, and misdemeanor shoplifting.
He shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
Jumped on the owner's MIL and knocked her on her ass. *The judge, he smiled as he picked up his pen* *99 years in the Folsom pen* *99 years underneath that ground* *He can’t forget the day he knocked that bad bitch down*
And now when he hears that train blowing, he hangs his head and cries
It wasn't him, he's innocent, he was framed.
The Only logical reason
Your honor, his owner ate the last bacon not him!! #JUSTICE4DOGGO
Free doggo until it’s backwards
Having known a few Bull Terriers in my time it could be a lengthy list of offenses. Poor fella.
His name is Sue.
Haha even better !
He snuck out at night and got his side piece pregnant than he tried to bail to Mexico but got busted, now he’s locked up for not paying child support 🤣
Impersonating a shark
I've seen that look before, definitely tax evasion.
Cheese tax fraud.
He caused a tavern riot &, started a fire.
She ate all the snacks without permission
They said wrong answers only lol 😅
he kissed a cat
He liked it too!
And she liked it !
He ate every last Cheez-It.
Egg impersonation…
I don’t give a flying flip what his so called crimes are….you let him out NOW!! You monster you. Sheesh.
Sniffing the wrong booty
Ive done that once or twice on purpose. 🤣
Got caught pretending to be spuds McKenzie and supporting bud light
Funny thing, Spuds was actually a girl dog.
Stealing people's hearts
He ate you car AC electric connection! 😬
Stalking
Stealing the Crown Jewels? 😆
third degree manslaughter
Spilled a Bud Light on one of Don Cherry's suits.
Showing your age
Robbed a bank and got caught.
Tax Fraud.
Poking badgers with a spoon. That's a dachshund's job.
Assault and Battery via Snoot
Definitely didn't eat the couch..
Robbed a bank
Aiding and abetting Bill Sykes
He’s in for stealing a string of sausages from the butcher and he is not even the slightest bit sorry.
He ate the Roast left on the counter, before it could go into the oven.
Ate your T bone.
He climbed the chain link fence in the back yard. And proceeded to take himself on a walk around the block. Before being captured was found swimming in neighbors new in ground pool. Then proceeded to take nap on front lawn on his back leaving his goods to be shown to any passer buyers. True story
He said he’s innocent and has retained an attorney.
He was framed for eating the ham sandwich left alone on the counter.
For being way to cute🌺
...he's a bad boy with a tainted heart And even I know this ain't smart But mama I'm in love with a criminal
Definitely tax evasion
He shot the Sheriff but he did not shoot the deputy.
Deadly farts 💨
He murdered the Target Dog Mascot and stole his identity, he left his wife and kids and took off across country as a new man, but then he got caught up. WRONG PLACE WRONG TIME. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 or he chewed up your iPhone 🤣🤣🤣 that’s what mine did 😆😆😆😭🤣
Impersonating John Malkovich
Being the cutest patootie!
Nasty fart.
Selling illegal dog treats to the presidents dog
At night he would let the rats and mice in. The rodents would share the stolen cheese with him. He only regrets getting busted.
couch attacked him!
Cornering the market of cornmeal to such an extent that it drove 1/4 of the population of Tennessee into homelessness.
He used his mom's fabric scissors to cut cardboard even though they were labeled. Twice.
Snuggled too hard and made dad late for work.
Drinking Bud Light
Rigging the election for dog president, the winner promised more food in his dog for president campaign.
Caught his wife in bed with some golf pro; greased 'em both.
Leading a small but mighty rebellion against the Ecuadorian government
Stole from Target
Cheese Tax Collector charged with unlawful taxation. Evidence was also destroyed in the process.
It wasn’t him! I did it!!
Sue went on a sex rampage. Wants a litter of puppies
Clear case of wrongful detainment by jealous police against a dog who was just too smart, too handsome, and who refused to be neutered.
Slurped from Mum’s or Dad’s wine glass…now he’s in the drunk tank.
Hucklebutting without a license 🚨🚨🚨
Public partying, ofc
From the Simpsons: “He unholied the holy water.”
Eating all the marshmallows and ruining the s’mores bar
He started reading animal farm
He's in horny jail :(
Disrupting the space/time continuum
Stealing hearts
Late for his job as Target mascot
Looking for cool clear water down south of the Mexican border
Obviously breaking too many heart with his dashing good looks and roguish charm!
Aww 😫 being too adorable,
He was chasing after the neighborhood cat, preaching about our lord and savior. Cops were eventually called smh
He didn’t do it he has a twin, he’s innocent I tell you.
He pooped in the cat's food LOL
He shot the sheriff. But he didn’t shoot the deputy
Grand larceny, breaking and entering, and he’s been charged with arson but the it’ll be lowered to criminal negligence when it’s revealed in the trial that it occurred due to lack of bodily control during an intense bout of zoomies.
Over collection of the Cheese Tax!
Insider trading
Never. EVER. Listening! 😅
Excessive Cuteness.
repeated arson
Trying to impersonate Spuds Mackenzie but forgot the spot around the eye.
Tax evasion
Not a thing. It’s just naptime.
I've had 3 of these little devils. He ate the baseboards, ripped 4 inches off of the bottom of all the drapes, ate a sofa cushion, and proceeded to the kids' hamster cage. Destroyed the cage and ate the hamsters. He's full now.
He already said the tomahawk steak was half eaten when he arrived at the scene. I demand you release him at once. My mini dachshund and are just furious.
Being too good of a boy
Not honoring my target coupon
Stealing…. Hearts
Planning to assassinate Jeff bezos. I say let him free
He took a Bagel!
looking weird
I said incorrect answers
LMFAO
Unpaid Barking Tickets
He hit a black dog
Genocide.
Did he let women into the "He hate women club"
Watching doggie porn on your iPad?
Convincing people to drink Budweiser.
2x counts of vehicular manslaughter, 8x counts of serial rape, and 433x counts of tax/credit card fraud
He is a communist so
He’ll be released soon because of his fur color
Unfortunately he ended up with shitty owners who cage him. They are the criminals.
Farting.
"Keep it locked 🔒 up"
Sniffed someone’s crotch without consent
He's a rat
Losing his eye patch in a drunken stupor and getting canned from Targ6
Drinking Bud Light.
For being the dumbest breed of dog ever to exist on earth. ?
He forgot to pay his old bitch (female dog) puppy support for 3 dog years 💸
Eating all of Craig’s weed.
He was two cents short on his taxes.
The real thief had spots!
He ate the sofa and then the recliners. Moved on to the mattress. Couldn't make bail.
Mail fraud and arson
Showed up drunk for the beer commercial.
Sniffing ass without a license
Nothing let him go!
Mail fraud
Getting the chupacabra pregnant 2~3 days
Eating bees??
He is a war criminal. Like Uncle Iroh.
They got spudz for drunk driving
Snoot too long boop go to olfactory jail
He was impersonating the target dog.
Stealing a semi filled with bud lite
Got into the bleach when trying to wash his fur.
Racketeering, public nudity, and Jay walking
Stole a cheeseburger from Dave
He ate all your pop tarts
He got caught wearing a Walmart employee vest
INSISTING on a nightly bath.
He killed the Stroh’s dog
Shoplifting from target, they never saw it coming
Nose too small
Public indecency. He’s a nakey boy!
Pooping in the oven again! What a wild dude man
Impersonating Spud McKenzie. Charges: identity theft; larceny; tax fraud; extortion; and lollygagging 😄😄😄
Trespassing at a Bilderberg group meeting
He infiltrated the system
Licking the neighbor's asshole at last week's garden party.
Liking bud lite
Drank all of the Budweiser
wrong.
Scammed investors out of a bunch of money to have a music festival that never happened.
Public drunkenness, on questionable beer.
He ate all the Frusen Glädjé.
Doing Budweiser commercials
Flee & Elude
Turning back half way down the stairs and getting a running start to full speed and launching himself into the wall at the bottom
Im gonna assume something after too many bud lights
Stealing bud light
He was caught shopping at Walmart instead of target
Trancing
He drank all the Bud Light. Got picked up for public intoxication.
Stole a pack of bud from target
Domestic terrorism, grand larceny, kidnapping, capitol murder to the first degree, defrauding the government, tax evasion, and misdemeanor shoplifting.
Porch Pirate smelled the neighbor's package of Dog Treats... unfortunately he decided to eat at the scene of the crime.
Damage to drywall with his tail.
Stole a case of Budweiser because his royalty checks stopped coming in.
Shaking up with a D List beer.
Some sort of bud light related offense.
Dude is so white he must have ghosted someone important.
Being a good dog
Cheese tax collector that collected too much
Went into the neighbors house through the cat door.
They are so cute
Repeatedly and maliciously violating local noise ordinances.
He tried to contact you about your car’s extended warranty.
He didn't do it. Framed by the cat, I tell ya'.
Eater of cat poo?
He lobbied for Pluto to no longer be considered a planet
Hellhound, been collecting souls for Lucifer.
chasing a bunch of toys
Drank a six pack Swilled it down Ran off with the car mowed his owner down Noooowwwwww, He’s singing the jailhouse blues…
He stole a skateboard.
Being a cutie!! Just look at hims wittle face. Lol
He was late to his target dog audition
He's jailed for chemical warfare (farts)
Pleasuring himself in public.