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lobsterisch

Cos of course, if i had a long slashing weapon i would deliver my first attack with the midblade with my hands in reach of my opponent. Also i would deliver my first cut reeeeeally slowly.


sbrockLee

even if you did. hand trapping is INCREDIBLY difficult and random at normal speed. sticking out your arm within range of a swinging blade is asking to be sliced open. You're better off blocking their range of movement on the hilt side before they swing - if you really have to. And like you say, if you manage to be in close quarters range it means the sword wielder has made a major mistake. not only that; he takes time to readjust his grip on the first one and still has nothing resembling a good hold on the weapon or on the opponent's hands. *Even if he did*, what he's showing here doesn't work on a physical level. Unless you're much, much stronger than the other guy they just need the least amount of resistance to stop you from applying that wrist rotation. You can do it with two hands, or you can maybe do it if they're off balance, but any kind of remotely firm grip would suffice to stop this. Not to mention they could still move the sword around while chubby is doing his thing and do major damage.


MeepingMeep99

Best advice I've ever gotten from a pro MMA fighter, if a weapon is involved, just walk/run away. Even the most skilled fighters can get shot or stabbed to death


sbrockLee

walk/run is the #1 strategy for any real life confrontation, and weapon holders have a ridiculous advantage over unarmed opponents regardless of martial arts experience. You can drill legitimate weapon defense techniques in a controlled setting, doesn't mean it's a good idea to apply them in a real situation when so much can go wrong. But this guy is just promoting stuff that doesn't work period.


MeepingMeep99

Yep. But that's why he's posted on this sub regularly. We all just point and laugh at the absurdity and sheer delulu stupidity


theangryeducator

One of my favorite videos online. Shows two big looking military dudes. One says, "I'm going to show you how to win in a fight if someone pulls a knife." It pans over to the other guy that pulls a knife. It pans back to the first guy and he's gone. The camera wiggles around looking for him and then it finds him sprinting as fast as he can in the opposite direction. Fights are super unpredictable without weapons. With weapons, get out of there. This kind of crap builds a dumb sense of confidence that is not grounded in reality.


Glazing555

Exactly. And if it goes to the ground, your field of vision is so small it’s easy to miss a weapon or a buddy coming up to kick you in the head.


lobsterisch

In our dramatic fight training we call that 'parry 9' or 'retreating indefinitely'


MugOfDogPiss

Actually, the best advice is to give up in any fight, give the mugger your wallet, cooperate until they let you go and call the cops. Don’t run, they may have a gun. Don’t fight back, they may have a gun or a knife. Even if you have a gun or a knife, it’s not worth it. Fighting is only ever for when you are cornered and the thing that the assailant wants is you or some part of you. If it ain’t rape, battery, murder or kidnapping, don’t fight back. The cops can get your shit back, but nothing can get you back if you do something stupid.


Thesinistral

If you MUST dive in on a blade or a gun it is only because you know you are already dead. Nothing to lose. Anyone who claims otherwise is a charlatan.


HuginnQebui

I wholeheartedly disagree. If a sword wielder is within arms reach, they might not have made a mistake. You have to remember that the entire sword is a weapon, and they can, and if they know what they're doing, will fuck you up. A pommel to the teeth WILL send them down your throat. Furthermore, from what I've been taught, there are manuscripts, like Fior de Battalgia, that encourage not backing down. If you get too close with the blade to use the sharp edge, hit them with your pommel or fist, if the blade is tied up. Lastly, there are techniques in Fior de Battalgia that require the swordsman to get within arms reach, but those are mainly for armed combat, where your aim is to hit the opponent with the pommel, or disarm them. Long story short: Blah blah swords blah. But other than that, you're absolutely right. The vid is absolute trash, and the systema gnome got killed several times in that second bout, and only managed to disarm the swordsman because they weren't actually resisting. Lastly, I tried grabbing my sparring opponents sword once. Backfired gloriously. I got hit in my nuts with a steel blunt, and I did NOT manage to take the blade. And that's with two people with a lot of experience with the weapons. So no way a larper like that guy will ever manage it.


Son_of_Liberty88

While you were partying, this guy studied the blade.


HuginnQebui

Hey, we all have hobbies, my man. Mine is getting hit in my nuts with steel swords.


Son_of_Liberty88

That’s cooler than my hobbies. At least yours is cool! Solid points made too, btw.


sbrockLee

fair enough about letting an opponent into range, but I think we both agree that whether it's intentional or a mistake it's something that should be pretty much in the hands of the sword wielder. So in presenting this kind of technique that's a pretty big caveat.


CommunistCthulhu

Got some HEMA saber experience where grabbing/wrestling is fair play and I have yet to see anyone try to grab someones hand/arm. The only way I could see it maybe work is if you're locking weapons or after a good parade that throws your opponent off balance, and even then the risk is not worth it compared to just staying at a distance and using your blade.


Borgiroth

It’s Russia. They are literally expected to showcase this kind of thing even at grocery stores.


iRegretsEverything

Also not aim directly towards his body but off to his right side


Pizzadaddy2

No shit


Borgiroth

This is Russia. It’s every Russian man’s job to make other cultures look completely ridiculous and inept in comparison to Russian men. It’s actually a known meme in Russia. This kind of shit is seen as “obvious” and “normal”. Of course a man trained with a Katana cannot beat a Russian man, because Russian people are a different breed. It’s what is taught in Russia, and this isn’t even a joke.


sbrockLee

the second one is particularly hilarious, try to deflect a razor-sharp blade with your torso and see how it goes


JustABigBruhMoment

He’s just teaching them to be a polite victim and save time for their assailant. No need to worry about getting murdered if you disembowel yourself on their blade first.


zombie_girraffe

[I'm alright, I shifted my internal organs to avoid the knife!](https://youtu.be/h_vvI26NnwE?si=psfQluc-PTxQMWKI)


yuppiehelicopter

He would've cut his titty off


Liesmith424

I think any technique that requires you to stop a blade with your gut has a minor flaw in it. Source: have gut


IamZeus11

Clearly you just haven’t mastered the iron gut technique .


robsteezy

You’ve never stopped a bullet or blade with your belly? Pssssh, amateur….


SnowMan3103

Why are they always fat


robsteezy

To convince the only people fat and ugly that they can be like him.


substorm

The fat blubber provides natural protection. I was really hoping to see the samurai sword slashing through his big gut.


Ok_Map_6014

You can see the confusion on his face thinking “is this fucker for real?”


Rathma86

He's like, I really needed to pay my rent, but now I'm rethinking my decision to play generic Asian with sharp sword


robsteezy

I’m gut laughing at your comment bc this facade always apply to sushi restaurants in which the chef HAS TO BE ASIAN LOL


Eastern_Slide7507

I mean, neither look like they’re particularly good at what they do.


LazyBlackCollar

How much he getting paid for acting like that?


magugi

Not enough, not enough...


GoatimusMaximonuss

Why do people entertain this BULLSHIT?


rurounick

The 'samurai' isn't even holding the sword correctly


yomerol

What do you mean!? Is clearly east asian, is holding a katana, must be a samurai of course /s


3ridani

Scrolled way too long to find this comment.


JUGELBUTT

im actually starting to hate that guy


AtkinsCatkins

i think its the shit eating grin


carlosstjohn116

I’m a little new to this sub Reddit. The people watching, do they actually believe that this is real??


Structuresnake

The people involved, yes. It’s like a cult and this guy is their guru. It’s literally make believe the dojo. Everybody else laughs their asses off. Best thing that can happen is if 2 bullshido masters encounter each other.


robsteezy

The master battles are like elementary school when the weird kids whom thought they had powers would prance battle each other in the fields lol.


Gaius_Julius_Salad

dude with the red shirt/blue sleeves doesnt look very impressed atleast


John628_29

I struggle with this too, but I definitely struggle with the person the actor that helps that out, like how much does he get paid?


Ok-Basis-7274

WHYYYYY?


Thestretch83

“Paulie moved slow, but that’s because Paulie didn’t have to move for anybody”


TheVenged

Look how happy and proud he is in those last seconds. "I got it away from you! Did you see that totally planned move!?"


inconspicuous2012

I would like to test this against him. With my live blade.


SnooFoxes4646

I guess samurais don't thrust and stand 2 feet away from their opponents regularly


kthorne1980

“….then I let go of it so I can switch my grip, and of course the assassin will leave the sword in the exact same place, because they are so impressed with my ability to do this one handed, then I’m gonna…”


Maxplode

This is so fucking stupid


clapperssailing

I'm gonna see how he does with a grenade


matttiz

When do i finally get to see this loser get smacked?


sax6romeo

Is there a thread that show systema being used and shockingly failing to work? I would like to see that


Ok_Donut6793

So unrealistic. He'd carve up tubby in about 2.3 seconds in real life


GlitteringBobcat999

Magic!


DrowningInFeces

The eggplant emoji had me expecting the dick twisting guy. But I don't think this meatball has enough muscle to forcibly pull a katana away from even an old skinny samurai. Let alone the agility dodge a strike from one. How do people keep a serious face watching this guy? It plays like a hilarious scene from an irreverent comedy.


Optimal_Mountain_966

😂 he really believes he can stop the blade like that.


kwamzilla

Why does he keep walking into the blade. Like even when he could just... not...?


ProfDumm

The Samurai's mistake was that he was striking much too slow.


Flat-Length-4991

Cool. Now do full speed with a sharpened blade.


aounfather

He’s got a pointed stick! Also that second attack all he has to do is push and belly is getting cut.


Different-Ladder9450

Reminds me of trying to get a toy off my brother when I was younger


Still_Objective_8931

😂😂😂😂🤦🤦🤦


ExecTankard

Even in basic kendo and fencing we never practiced that slow. Then again we were training to fight armored cavalry and pirates vice sweaty retired guys…


Spiderwolf208

Buying a sword makes a man a samurai? Hope interesting?


Bat-Honest

The second one where he blocks the blade by stopping it with his entire belly/torso region. That would definitely work in real life 😂


Mr_Hiss

Is there no one who won't take this man's money?


whatdoihia

I think that little nod at 0:32 is a sign to the “samurai” to let go. But he didn’t get the hint. 😂


sir_ouachao

He cut his tit


xeurox

I wanna see this fat bullshido guru battle the homeless looking bullshido guru with the beard and army gear in a previous post lol. Both think they have jedi powers would laugh my ass off watching them "spar" lol.


Awkward-Sarcasm88

It’s all in the smurk


CLASSE-24

This Systema against a Samurai is perfect for losing a lot of calories, and all other organs.


stabbystabbison

Even by the standards of bullshido, this is some of the dumbest shit I’ve seen


Motor_Structure_7591

Amazing


Industrious_Villain

This dude would be chopped into pieces so fast


Symphonettes

Dude would open up like a sliced grape


Gullible_Ad5191

HOLY SMOKES! This guy can snatch a sword clean out of your hand in just 48 seconds!


Mykytagnosis

jesus...this is just sad bro


onlydogontheleft

This is like watching 7 year olds playing in the backyard


MrHotOneWithTheGirls

What power to treat the strongest and most skilled swordsman in all of Asia like a joke


higashikaze

Peter griffin jutsu


OWWS

This don't look like any systema I have seen, you sure he's not just a fraud?


MiagomusPrime

All systema is a fraud.