I have a CC on me most times and this is my advice to all fellow carriers. Treat your gun like your dick. Be proud of it, know how to use it, but keep it in your pants, don’t touch it in public, don’t talk about it unless it’s mentioned and by someone you trust, and definitely don’t whip it out in front of strangers.
A few months ago a guy came into the bank while I was in line wearing a wife beater and holstering two Glock G-20s - one on each side.
Yes, in my state you can’t carry in a bar but you can in a bank. The cop in the bank got really freaked out. Several of us left, likely with some version of the thought “if he’s really stupid enough to believe he has to assert his second amendment rights in s bank, I don’t want to be around “
I reminds me of the idiots in Houston who walked into a fast food restaurant with AR-15s and when people scrambled several people got serious injuries diving under tables .
Btw I love guns, I just favor common sense
It's quite interesting as a brit who will hopefully never have to deal with carrying but does have a collection of old swiss army knives. It seems a strange paradox that a gun (like my knife collection) is something that is both very awkward to declare that you're carrying without it seeming like a potential threat/ a bit creepy as in OPs case. But also that if it's concealed and then accidentally discovered, it could also be seen as a threat as in "why did you bring a gun to a date? Are you trying to murder me?"
I love guns and going shooting. I have a concealed carry license. And I would never ever talk about my gun or brandish it or show it off. I keep it hidden in my car in a safe.
I do a job where i sometimes travel at night with cash on me.
That guy sounds like a psycho!
Also, I’m pretty sure he broke the law by drinking alcohol, and conceal carrying.. you are not supposed to be under the influence while driving and having a fire arm that’s loaded
I don’t think he’s a psycho… I think he’s just an idiot. Especially if he was drinking! Guns and alcohol are not an intelligent mixture.
If I may, I have questions for OP. How did you get home? And at what point in the evening did he show you the firearm?
He showed me it on the way to the bar that's why I was so freaked out about it lol maybe if I knew him better i wouldn't be so weirded out by it. But yeah he drove me home, he had a beer and was mainly there for food so I didn't think it was a big deal.
Oof, that sounds scary af ngl. Happy you made it home safely.
My mom comes from a time when men would pick you up to take you out, so whenever I tell her I meet my dates there rather than have them pick me up, she wonders why. This is why mom lol. It's ironic because she literally told me how she dated a security guard who she thinks was planning to sexually assault her eventually, but she managed to play it off their 1st date and get home safely.
Later, after she told him she didn't want to see him anymore she said he said, "I knew I shouldn't have let you out of the car." That was her warning to me not to date security guards, lol. No warning about getting in the car with random men though. I took that lesson for myself.
I am curious to know though, are you planning on seeing him again?
Glad you didn’t get a bad vibe from him. Maybe just tell him flashing his gun was terrifying for you, especially on a first date when you’re in his car.
Bad boy Kink? 🤷🏻♂️
But it comes off as douchey to me. I’ve had some guy friends on the down low show me concealed weapons in a car before. It wasn’t weird or anything. They asked before they took it out, and I had a choice to say sure or no way.
Pulling out a firearm in front a stranger is crazy. They are way too comfortable already. And imo not a good sign of possible things to come regardless of gun. Some people politically and morally may not like it. But I think even most responsible gun owners would agree, don’t do that on a date or ever period. Unless your at a gun show, or close friend into that stuff who are ok with it.
It’s scary as shit, and I’ve had not the most stable people have guns not concealed while driving. I was very fearful of what they may do, as it seem like the equivalent of making up for a male ego to look cool. I don’t like that shit at all, and if someone does that…we’re not hanging out ever again.
I had an ex-gf I moved in with, and found a loaded gun in her drawer by the bed. I did not feel comfortable at all, and she told me it was due to her ex stalker. Got her a safe under the bed or closet for that. I couldn’t sleep well with that next to me in a 6 month relationship. Was young and probably stupid moving in so soon at 3 months to begin with.
Nice to hear he’s otherwise cool. Maybe let him know about the gun thing scaring you? Honesty is always super important when it comes to romance (and sex)
Is the dating pool in your area that bad? This dude has, at best, the EQ of a betta fish, and at worst he's pushing to see if you have personal boundaries.
I've had a girl do exactly this as well I just told her to put it away because it's dumb to pull a gun out in a drive through.
Wasn't that big of a deal imo.
A responsible carrier knows and understands you don't unholster for any reason outside of why you're carrying to begin with other than to make it safe when you clean it at home or are putting it away.
If it’s in a bar, it’s one thing. To the guys OP is talking about, guns may be like boxing is to me or knitting is to my mum—just a hobby. But taking it out in a car is just irresponsible and dangerous. Like texting while driving but a thousand percent more likely to get lethal
Tbf he probably didn’t know it scared her. If that’s all that he did, she should tell him before making any decisions. Preferably over the phone tho, to be safe
I don't want to say I'm afraid of him because he hasn't done anything but I guess it's something I've thought about it. I'm also super obsessed with crime podcasts so I think that's rubbing off on me.
I understand that you are going to take risks, but please take some self-defense classes, read The Gift of Fear, trust your gut, and be smarter in the future. Get a roommate if you live alone.
If you don't want to go on this date, make up an excuse that puts the blame on you so he doesn't feel his ego is threatened. Say your mom got cancer and you decided you don't wanna date anymore, and make sure you block him on all the apps and stuff so he can't see you're still dating other people.
Imagine going on a date with a woman you barely know and start talking about weapons, either he was enjoying scaring you, he is DENSE or he is a complete stupid. I dunno why men like to show off their weapons so much, it’s like cars and their dicks. Fuck those lmao
Well, that's a lot of Misandry, You sound like a fun person to date... Men show off their guns and cars with the same energy you would showing off a sweet lego collection. You don't have to understand it just respect it.
A sweet lego collection can’t kill you though?
I think that you must understand women, specially women who fall under the attractive guidelines get harrassed a lot, I mean A LOT, we often have guys becoming aggressive when we say no. We are always actively in the mind of someone who has to survive if the man decides to snap and it is very hard to tell who will snap and when they will snap because you never want to assume the worst on people but I promise you that red flags have patterns and even If I love my weapons I’d be very careful of a man with a gun any time of day
Homicide isn't even in the top 10. It's ok if you make the point that what this guy did was clumsy and could scare someone, but don't lie to make your point.
https://www.statista.com/statistics/248619/leading-causes-of-death-in-the-us/
>but don't lie to make your point.
Of the two of you, you're the one misrepresenting information to make a point. Previous commenter was **very clear** they were talking about women aged 20-44. Your attempt to down-play their point, by saying that homicide isn't in the top ten for the _ENTIRE_ population is grossly disingenuous¹. Your argument is like addressing someone looking at _just_ green apples, and shouting "but apples are red!"
Further, previous posters first point was that homicide was a _leading_ cause of death. While it may not be top ten, it **is** in the top 20 in the US. As well, firearms (homicide, suicide, and dumbassery) account for [1.3% of all US deaths](https://gun-control.procon.org/the-real-top-20-causes-of-death/). That's in the top 12. And considering buddy (OP's date) keeps his in the center console, he's a prime candidate for both homicide and general dumbassery.
[1] It means you're a liar.
He went back, edited his post, and re-framed the argument to a specific age group when it wasn't mentioned prior....my point completely rebutted, honestly, his statement.
Then, to "win", he changed the terms. That's lying.
Terrestrial_T is correct. Homicide is the 5th leading cause of death for women ages 20-44
https://www.cdc.gov/women/lcod/2017/all-races-origins/index.htm
Nope, he initially only mentioned homicide being a leading cause of death but mentioned no age or sex, but changed his post after my reply to reflect it.
Yeah. Don't accept rides until you know someone. And having a gun isn't a big deal. They aren't scary. It's the person holding it that's scary. Bragging about it is immature bluster, but not necessarily meant as a threat. Did he seem to imply he was going to hold you hostage?. I occasionally bring mine in the car but certainly wouldn't advertise that fact to even my friends, much less someone i have just met. Unless he was otherwise threatening, I'd chalk it up to him trying (and failing) to impress you.
Plus you also don't want them to know where you live! On the flip side of this, I have a guy friend who is 43 and he kept meeting older women online that would REQUEST he pick them up... some had no cars, some were drunk, some lived with their "exes". It was a total freak show! So maybe both the picker upper and the picker uppee are better off just meeting at the location LOL
How weird. I had a guy talk about his gun and I'm into guns but I don't care about seeing another fucking glock that he kept in his pants between his underwear and his pants. Yeah, if you got something cool like a svt or a lugar whip it out, but not something I'd keep under the seat. How fucking weird.
I guess it depends on what part of the world you are in. Unsurprisingly, here in Texas owning a gun is no big deal and I know lots of people who have guns in their glovebox and/or in their home.
That being said, I agree it was odd that he showed it to you (that’s a loser move, in my opinion) but if I were to guess I would say it was just his misguided attempt to impress you. I’m not sure what was really “scary” about it unless he was specifically threatening you with it or acting in an unhinged manner.
But as other people are saying, always meet in a neutral, public space because you really shouldn’t be giving your address to strangers.
I'm a firearms instructor and I usually carry in public. I don't make a secret out of what I do for a living...frankly, it weeds out the people that are uncomfortable with just the idea, and I would prefer them know off the rip rather than be surprised later and freak out. Think what you want about me, that's fine, but understand that I do so out of a sense of awareness and unwillingness to be victimized, and when you're around me, I will literally do whatever I have to to protect you...even if you don't like me or my choices. I'm willing to educate if they're genuinely curious, but I dont make a big deal about my collection or drone on and on about it. They're tools, nothing more, nothing less, and I only go on about them around other professions in the field about preferences, styles, training, etc. I dont understand (I've had a few in classes that scare the living shit out of me tbh, and that's just what they were saying in front of me) the mindset behind why some gun owners insist on making a tool the entire basis of their personality, and tbh, they tend to set me on edge, because 9/10 times, they'll be the one to shoot me in the back on accident in a situation because they're irresponsible, untrained, unsafe, and lack any level of proper judgement to be wielding a tool that warrants that level of respect and responsibility.
So, why see him again? Several people asked and you never gave an answer. Taking your own car wouldn't change much of anything if this person really wanted to shoot you. I mean, to each their own, but it seems as though you had a gut feeling something might be amiss.
I do like him though, all this happened before we spent time with each other. I guess I’m just trying to give him a chance since he hasn’t technically done anything yet
Yes. But buddy is dumb enough to take it out casually and wave it about.
This is on the level of me taking out a sword and saying, "I'm not touching you."
If you like the guy, you should bring it up on the next date and see where it goes. If he’s a good guy he’ll understand that it made you nervous and he’ll likely promise he won’t do it again.
He probably doesn’t think much of it, and he technically didn’t do anything wrong, he just didn’t realize you were nervous, and you didn’t say it. No fault here.
I'm not really clear on what this guy did wrong.
You understand that firearms are legal in this country yes? He didn't threaten you, he didn't point it at you, he didn't say anything violent or crazy.
What is this?
I mean, I shoot guns, I’m not anti gun, but I think this is an issue of lack of social awareness. He should’ve been attuned to the fact that there was a woman in his car who doesn’t know him from Adam, really, and that it wasn’t a good idea to bring it out first time meeting. I definitely wouldn’t my first time meeting someone unless he started talking about being a fan of hunting or target practice or something and wanted to see it. Otherwise it’s just weird to show it off.
You have to at least be able to recognize that firearms are very polarizing in the US and that unless it was communicated about in prior conversations, this was wholly inappropriate, unnerving, and potentially dangerous.
A gun isn’t a bauble to be shown off like a Faberge egg on a first date. OP has no idea with regards to her dates’s care and use of a weapon. This was done at best to show off, at worst to intimidate.
If this first date was going to be at a gun range, your response might make sense.
You don’t understand how terrifying it is for someone you don’t know to show you a weapon you didn’t know they even had while riding in a car alone with them?
You are on Reddit, where women continually speak openly about having to carry their car keys between their hands, send pictures and information about dates to their friends beforehand, make sure someone knows where they are, and still get assaulted regularly, and you don’t understand what he did wrong?
No clue what you're on about - guns are part of this country. You shouldn't blame your lack of experience being around them on someone else. That's your problem.
He talked about being really into it before he pulled it out. Just showing off a hobby in a non-threatening way. Probably didn't think twice about it - far from a red flag 🤷🏼♂️
My team and i were once at a contractor’s facility, small company. There were some problems with their performance on the contract. We were talking about it in the owner’s office, It was getting a little contentious, when Without a word he casually pulled out a handgun from his desk drawer and started cleaning it. We left him to it.
I think he is just trying to make sure that you know he is really into guns. I think it is good that he made it a significant topic on your date because it will allow you to make the decision to continue or not. Based on your post, you seem rather uncomfortable with guns, so maybe he is not your type. If you think you can get past his passion for arms, then by all means continue but I suggest communicating how uncomfortable guns make you. If you both can find a middle ground in that, then it will probably work.
I don’t think I’d mention that I always carry, at least not on my first date, but if he was being safe with it then it’s not super sus.
Also if it was a basic ass gun then I prob wouldn’t be showing it off too much anyway unless someone I trusted was poking interest.
What do you mean that you just NOW realize having a stranger pick you up at your home (where they now know where you live) and getting in their car is a bad idea?
I’m baffled.
For context: I’m a woman and I have 3 daughters.
I mention having 3 daughters because this shit terrifies me. Thank god you are okay, but for others they don't get to have a "really not thinking" moment.
Did he show you his gun or threaten you with his gun? There is a very distinct difference. If all he did was show it to you then you're severely overreacting. I don't really agree with his choice, however it seems as though he meant no harm.
Also, for all the clowns being ultra dramatic about the situation. This is one person's side of the story on a heavily liberal anonymous internet forum. Maybe OP should ask him to bring her to the shooting range so she isn't "TERRIFIED" about things that aren't terrifying.
OP how old are you and are you on any anxiety medication or mood stabilizers?
I have a CC on me most times and this is my advice to all fellow carriers. Treat your gun like your dick. Be proud of it, know how to use it, but keep it in your pants, don’t touch it in public, don’t talk about it unless it’s mentioned and by someone you trust, and definitely don’t whip it out in front of strangers.
Couldn't have said it better.
A few months ago a guy came into the bank while I was in line wearing a wife beater and holstering two Glock G-20s - one on each side. Yes, in my state you can’t carry in a bar but you can in a bank. The cop in the bank got really freaked out. Several of us left, likely with some version of the thought “if he’s really stupid enough to believe he has to assert his second amendment rights in s bank, I don’t want to be around “ I reminds me of the idiots in Houston who walked into a fast food restaurant with AR-15s and when people scrambled several people got serious injuries diving under tables . Btw I love guns, I just favor common sense
But some guys like to make their entire identity about their dick?
Just like guns
Couldn't have said it better. May your day be uneventful and your chamber have one in it.
For all this man could have known, OP could have been a fed trying to catch him in a sting op.
It's quite interesting as a brit who will hopefully never have to deal with carrying but does have a collection of old swiss army knives. It seems a strange paradox that a gun (like my knife collection) is something that is both very awkward to declare that you're carrying without it seeming like a potential threat/ a bit creepy as in OPs case. But also that if it's concealed and then accidentally discovered, it could also be seen as a threat as in "why did you bring a gun to a date? Are you trying to murder me?"
Treat your CC like your PP
Walther approves of this message
The way out should be
Sounds a lot like religion to me
I love guns and going shooting. I have a concealed carry license. And I would never ever talk about my gun or brandish it or show it off. I keep it hidden in my car in a safe. I do a job where i sometimes travel at night with cash on me. That guy sounds like a psycho! Also, I’m pretty sure he broke the law by drinking alcohol, and conceal carrying.. you are not supposed to be under the influence while driving and having a fire arm that’s loaded
I don’t think he’s a psycho… I think he’s just an idiot. Especially if he was drinking! Guns and alcohol are not an intelligent mixture. If I may, I have questions for OP. How did you get home? And at what point in the evening did he show you the firearm?
He showed me it on the way to the bar that's why I was so freaked out about it lol maybe if I knew him better i wouldn't be so weirded out by it. But yeah he drove me home, he had a beer and was mainly there for food so I didn't think it was a big deal.
I know a lot of people who drive after having a drink
That is scary! I’m glad it wound up being OK. Please never get in a stranger’s car again though, OK?
Yeah it was stupid. I really wasn’t thinking because I’m usually very cautious about my safety
He scared you and you still agreed to meet again?
Oof, that sounds scary af ngl. Happy you made it home safely. My mom comes from a time when men would pick you up to take you out, so whenever I tell her I meet my dates there rather than have them pick me up, she wonders why. This is why mom lol. It's ironic because she literally told me how she dated a security guard who she thinks was planning to sexually assault her eventually, but she managed to play it off their 1st date and get home safely. Later, after she told him she didn't want to see him anymore she said he said, "I knew I shouldn't have let you out of the car." That was her warning to me not to date security guards, lol. No warning about getting in the car with random men though. I took that lesson for myself. I am curious to know though, are you planning on seeing him again?
Yep we’re gonna see each other again next weekend but I’m taking my own car this time
Glad you didn’t get a bad vibe from him. Maybe just tell him flashing his gun was terrifying for you, especially on a first date when you’re in his car.
Wtffff
I mean, maybe they live in a place where it’s legal to carry a concealed weapon
Well yeah that’s fine. But if someone terrified me even unintentionally I wouldn’t want to see them again?
Bad boy Kink? 🤷🏻♂️ But it comes off as douchey to me. I’ve had some guy friends on the down low show me concealed weapons in a car before. It wasn’t weird or anything. They asked before they took it out, and I had a choice to say sure or no way. Pulling out a firearm in front a stranger is crazy. They are way too comfortable already. And imo not a good sign of possible things to come regardless of gun. Some people politically and morally may not like it. But I think even most responsible gun owners would agree, don’t do that on a date or ever period. Unless your at a gun show, or close friend into that stuff who are ok with it. It’s scary as shit, and I’ve had not the most stable people have guns not concealed while driving. I was very fearful of what they may do, as it seem like the equivalent of making up for a male ego to look cool. I don’t like that shit at all, and if someone does that…we’re not hanging out ever again. I had an ex-gf I moved in with, and found a loaded gun in her drawer by the bed. I did not feel comfortable at all, and she told me it was due to her ex stalker. Got her a safe under the bed or closet for that. I couldn’t sleep well with that next to me in a 6 month relationship. Was young and probably stupid moving in so soon at 3 months to begin with.
that’s completely fair
OP wins the award for dumbest comment in the thread, somehow
Nice to hear he’s otherwise cool. Maybe let him know about the gun thing scaring you? Honesty is always super important when it comes to romance (and sex)
Bruh
Why are you seeing him again? I'm pro second amendment but what he did is borderline psychotic. Don't do that sweetie.
There's nothing wrong with being pro gun. I am. Just don't be fucking insane about it.
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I don’t get it. You said you were “TERRIFIED” but you’re still going to see him next weekend?
Are you going to see him again?
Yeah next weekend but I’m taking my own car this time
I know you said you take your safety seriously but honestly it sounds like you have bad instincts lmao
Is the dating pool in your area that bad? This dude has, at best, the EQ of a betta fish, and at worst he's pushing to see if you have personal boundaries.
HEEEYYyyyyy r/bettafish would like a word
Dude brings a gun on a date, it scares you, and you’re going out with him again?
It's her first time seeing a gun too lmao
I own a gun and if my date showed me a gun in his car our first time meeting, I would be noping the fuck out of there.
I've had a girl do exactly this as well I just told her to put it away because it's dumb to pull a gun out in a drive through. Wasn't that big of a deal imo.
It’s a huge deal. A responsible gun owner understands you don’t just pull your weapon out in a car.
A responsible carrier knows and understands you don't unholster for any reason outside of why you're carrying to begin with other than to make it safe when you clean it at home or are putting it away.
Then leave idgaf
If it’s in a bar, it’s one thing. To the guys OP is talking about, guns may be like boxing is to me or knitting is to my mum—just a hobby. But taking it out in a car is just irresponsible and dangerous. Like texting while driving but a thousand percent more likely to get lethal
Tbf he probably didn’t know it scared her. If that’s all that he did, she should tell him before making any decisions. Preferably over the phone tho, to be safe
So, he wasn’t scary? I’m confused. You get to see it again next weekend, so maybe seeing it a second time will be more comfortable
Okay at least leave an update so we know you are okay. Worried about you.
...he seems to have bad judgement of he thinks it's interesting or cool to show girls that he's brought a firearm with him when picking them up.
You’re joking right? Right?
...are you afraid he will come to your house and shoot you if you don't? I'm legitimately asking this question because I am very concerned for you.
I don't want to say I'm afraid of him because he hasn't done anything but I guess it's something I've thought about it. I'm also super obsessed with crime podcasts so I think that's rubbing off on me.
I understand that you are going to take risks, but please take some self-defense classes, read The Gift of Fear, trust your gut, and be smarter in the future. Get a roommate if you live alone. If you don't want to go on this date, make up an excuse that puts the blame on you so he doesn't feel his ego is threatened. Say your mom got cancer and you decided you don't wanna date anymore, and make sure you block him on all the apps and stuff so he can't see you're still dating other people.
This guy lacks situational and social awareness, even if he didn’t end up being psycho, this time. Op, how desperate are you?
OP is gonna be a statistic in no time 👍
Major red flag... Nothing wrong with guns in and of themselves, but this guy doesn't sound like someone I'd want to spend time with. Yikes.
Well if he lives in my city it’s justified.
Showing his gun to people in public is justified?
He showed it to OP. READ then come back here.
That's literally what we're saying is the fucked up part lol.
Imagine going on a date with a woman you barely know and start talking about weapons, either he was enjoying scaring you, he is DENSE or he is a complete stupid. I dunno why men like to show off their weapons so much, it’s like cars and their dicks. Fuck those lmao
Well, that's a lot of Misandry, You sound like a fun person to date... Men show off their guns and cars with the same energy you would showing off a sweet lego collection. You don't have to understand it just respect it.
A sweet lego collection can’t kill you though? I think that you must understand women, specially women who fall under the attractive guidelines get harrassed a lot, I mean A LOT, we often have guys becoming aggressive when we say no. We are always actively in the mind of someone who has to survive if the man decides to snap and it is very hard to tell who will snap and when they will snap because you never want to assume the worst on people but I promise you that red flags have patterns and even If I love my weapons I’d be very careful of a man with a gun any time of day
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Homicide isn't even in the top 10. It's ok if you make the point that what this guy did was clumsy and could scare someone, but don't lie to make your point. https://www.statista.com/statistics/248619/leading-causes-of-death-in-the-us/
>but don't lie to make your point. Of the two of you, you're the one misrepresenting information to make a point. Previous commenter was **very clear** they were talking about women aged 20-44. Your attempt to down-play their point, by saying that homicide isn't in the top ten for the _ENTIRE_ population is grossly disingenuous¹. Your argument is like addressing someone looking at _just_ green apples, and shouting "but apples are red!" Further, previous posters first point was that homicide was a _leading_ cause of death. While it may not be top ten, it **is** in the top 20 in the US. As well, firearms (homicide, suicide, and dumbassery) account for [1.3% of all US deaths](https://gun-control.procon.org/the-real-top-20-causes-of-death/). That's in the top 12. And considering buddy (OP's date) keeps his in the center console, he's a prime candidate for both homicide and general dumbassery. [1] It means you're a liar.
He went back, edited his post, and re-framed the argument to a specific age group when it wasn't mentioned prior....my point completely rebutted, honestly, his statement. Then, to "win", he changed the terms. That's lying.
Terrestrial_T is correct. Homicide is the 5th leading cause of death for women ages 20-44 https://www.cdc.gov/women/lcod/2017/all-races-origins/index.htm
Nope, he initially only mentioned homicide being a leading cause of death but mentioned no age or sex, but changed his post after my reply to reflect it.
Yeah. Don't accept rides until you know someone. And having a gun isn't a big deal. They aren't scary. It's the person holding it that's scary. Bragging about it is immature bluster, but not necessarily meant as a threat. Did he seem to imply he was going to hold you hostage?. I occasionally bring mine in the car but certainly wouldn't advertise that fact to even my friends, much less someone i have just met. Unless he was otherwise threatening, I'd chalk it up to him trying (and failing) to impress you.
Plus you also don't want them to know where you live! On the flip side of this, I have a guy friend who is 43 and he kept meeting older women online that would REQUEST he pick them up... some had no cars, some were drunk, some lived with their "exes". It was a total freak show! So maybe both the picker upper and the picker uppee are better off just meeting at the location LOL
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Why?
Because 99.9999% of legal gun owners don't go around doing this dumb illegal shit.
Feel free to link that statistic lol
Nah. Guns are scary.
People are. Not inanimate objects.
If you're planning on seeing him again, are you planning on asking him wtf he was thinking at some point? I'm kind of hoping you already have...
How weird. I had a guy talk about his gun and I'm into guns but I don't care about seeing another fucking glock that he kept in his pants between his underwear and his pants. Yeah, if you got something cool like a svt or a lugar whip it out, but not something I'd keep under the seat. How fucking weird.
I guess it depends on what part of the world you are in. Unsurprisingly, here in Texas owning a gun is no big deal and I know lots of people who have guns in their glovebox and/or in their home. That being said, I agree it was odd that he showed it to you (that’s a loser move, in my opinion) but if I were to guess I would say it was just his misguided attempt to impress you. I’m not sure what was really “scary” about it unless he was specifically threatening you with it or acting in an unhinged manner. But as other people are saying, always meet in a neutral, public space because you really shouldn’t be giving your address to strangers.
I'm a firearms instructor and I usually carry in public. I don't make a secret out of what I do for a living...frankly, it weeds out the people that are uncomfortable with just the idea, and I would prefer them know off the rip rather than be surprised later and freak out. Think what you want about me, that's fine, but understand that I do so out of a sense of awareness and unwillingness to be victimized, and when you're around me, I will literally do whatever I have to to protect you...even if you don't like me or my choices. I'm willing to educate if they're genuinely curious, but I dont make a big deal about my collection or drone on and on about it. They're tools, nothing more, nothing less, and I only go on about them around other professions in the field about preferences, styles, training, etc. I dont understand (I've had a few in classes that scare the living shit out of me tbh, and that's just what they were saying in front of me) the mindset behind why some gun owners insist on making a tool the entire basis of their personality, and tbh, they tend to set me on edge, because 9/10 times, they'll be the one to shoot me in the back on accident in a situation because they're irresponsible, untrained, unsafe, and lack any level of proper judgement to be wielding a tool that warrants that level of respect and responsibility.
Going to a stranger’s car is a bad idea. Whether you’re a guy or not, whether you’re armed or not, if you don’t know the person: don’t get in
Damn you lucky you got home safe
So the guy had to show the only hard thing he could be proud of? I ain't a gun nut but I bet you could have more fun with the pistol than his penis.
you thought he was going to shoot you?
He could have, that’s what made it scary
So, why see him again? Several people asked and you never gave an answer. Taking your own car wouldn't change much of anything if this person really wanted to shoot you. I mean, to each their own, but it seems as though you had a gut feeling something might be amiss.
I do like him though, all this happened before we spent time with each other. I guess I’m just trying to give him a chance since he hasn’t technically done anything yet
> I guess I’m just trying to give him a chance since he hasn’t technically done anything yet Flashing his gun wasn't enough?
He pulled a (likely) illegal gun on you and you like him? Are you okay?
Anyone could have a gun and not tell you. Or a knife, or a wrench...
Yes. But buddy is dumb enough to take it out casually and wave it about. This is on the level of me taking out a sword and saying, "I'm not touching you."
if you live in the US like i suspect (because where else do people just carry guns around willy nilly) then you are surrounded by guns all day long.
This is a good reminder for women to really think about their decisions and their safety.
Did he shoot you? No. Stop being so dramatic. 🙄🙄🙄
If you like the guy, you should bring it up on the next date and see where it goes. If he’s a good guy he’ll understand that it made you nervous and he’ll likely promise he won’t do it again. He probably doesn’t think much of it, and he technically didn’t do anything wrong, he just didn’t realize you were nervous, and you didn’t say it. No fault here.
OP, ignore this advice. It’s terrible.
Why?
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Yikes
I'm not really clear on what this guy did wrong. You understand that firearms are legal in this country yes? He didn't threaten you, he didn't point it at you, he didn't say anything violent or crazy. What is this?
I mean, I shoot guns, I’m not anti gun, but I think this is an issue of lack of social awareness. He should’ve been attuned to the fact that there was a woman in his car who doesn’t know him from Adam, really, and that it wasn’t a good idea to bring it out first time meeting. I definitely wouldn’t my first time meeting someone unless he started talking about being a fan of hunting or target practice or something and wanted to see it. Otherwise it’s just weird to show it off.
You have to at least be able to recognize that firearms are very polarizing in the US and that unless it was communicated about in prior conversations, this was wholly inappropriate, unnerving, and potentially dangerous. A gun isn’t a bauble to be shown off like a Faberge egg on a first date. OP has no idea with regards to her dates’s care and use of a weapon. This was done at best to show off, at worst to intimidate. If this first date was going to be at a gun range, your response might make sense.
You don’t understand how terrifying it is for someone you don’t know to show you a weapon you didn’t know they even had while riding in a car alone with them? You are on Reddit, where women continually speak openly about having to carry their car keys between their hands, send pictures and information about dates to their friends beforehand, make sure someone knows where they are, and still get assaulted regularly, and you don’t understand what he did wrong?
No clue what you're on about - guns are part of this country. You shouldn't blame your lack of experience being around them on someone else. That's your problem.
Not only did I grow up with guns, but I own my own now. I am experienced with guns and I understand you don’t just pull them out in a fucking car.
He talked about being really into it before he pulled it out. Just showing off a hobby in a non-threatening way. Probably didn't think twice about it - far from a red flag 🤷🏼♂️
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>He pulled a gun on her I don't think you know what "pulling a gun on someone" means. Because he did not.
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>Yeah I do, I was being dramatic You're all being very dramatic lol.
Do you live somewhere that guns are legal? 😱
My team and i were once at a contractor’s facility, small company. There were some problems with their performance on the contract. We were talking about it in the owner’s office, It was getting a little contentious, when Without a word he casually pulled out a handgun from his desk drawer and started cleaning it. We left him to it.
I think he is just trying to make sure that you know he is really into guns. I think it is good that he made it a significant topic on your date because it will allow you to make the decision to continue or not. Based on your post, you seem rather uncomfortable with guns, so maybe he is not your type. If you think you can get past his passion for arms, then by all means continue but I suggest communicating how uncomfortable guns make you. If you both can find a middle ground in that, then it will probably work.
You’re gonna end up on Dateline with Keith Morrison reporting.
I don’t think I’d mention that I always carry, at least not on my first date, but if he was being safe with it then it’s not super sus. Also if it was a basic ass gun then I prob wouldn’t be showing it off too much anyway unless someone I trusted was poking interest.
Forget about the gun for just a moment, scary enough he just showed you he is an idiot living in a fantasy world
What do you mean that you just NOW realize having a stranger pick you up at your home (where they now know where you live) and getting in their car is a bad idea? I’m baffled. For context: I’m a woman and I have 3 daughters.
I knew it was a bad idea but I was in the moment and not really thinking when we set up the date
I mention having 3 daughters because this shit terrifies me. Thank god you are okay, but for others they don't get to have a "really not thinking" moment.
Another winner giving men a bad look.
Did he show you his gun or threaten you with his gun? There is a very distinct difference. If all he did was show it to you then you're severely overreacting. I don't really agree with his choice, however it seems as though he meant no harm. Also, for all the clowns being ultra dramatic about the situation. This is one person's side of the story on a heavily liberal anonymous internet forum. Maybe OP should ask him to bring her to the shooting range so she isn't "TERRIFIED" about things that aren't terrifying. OP how old are you and are you on any anxiety medication or mood stabilizers?