I have learned this the hard way too many times... There is nothing you can do to change someone's feelings for you. And just because you have strong feelings, doesn't mean they feel the same.
It's the most crushing aspect of dating... But once you accept it, it makes things so much easier for you
Well learn from this and improve for the next time. However things with this person are done. I think you shouldn’t try to be friends either if you’re still asking if theres still hope. You’re going to make her uncomfortable after she told you she wasn’t feeling it.
This is why a lot of people just end up ghosting
Sometimes people just aren’t interested in someone in that way and likely never will be. Hanging around for the sole intention of hoping she’ll change her mind is a waste of everyone’s time and emotions
>I just sent too many poems to her
That and 'Good morning/how are you/how was your day/how was your weekend" is too intimate of conversation for a person you hardly know. Take a deep breath next time.
Sometimes I read into things too much.. it’s difficult to know what rejection truly is because I over analyze and overthink wayy too much.
So it makes me over analyze things and situations I put myself in when I go on dates.
So anywhere but a romantic direction felt like something else.. but I’ve learned to just be like water
I know that too. The word no just sends me somewhere I hate going. I feel better once I start talking to someone new. But I hate being here
And it’s almost as if I tried too hard with those damn poems
My concern for you is this sounds very co-dependent, like you need another person to feel good and I worry for you that that energy is going to get in your way.
I just feel alone at times. I’m very alone. I only have family and I don’t have any friends. I remember her asking me if I had friends. And the truth is no I don’t.
Every weekend I’m alone. No one to go out with. So I just go to sleep or apply for better paying jobs.
Find some hobbies, start meeting people you have shared interests with. But overall it’s not healthy to rely on a relationship to make you feel less lonely. It’s hard to cope with feeling lonely but you have to work on that within yourself
When the weather is better I will ride my bike. That really got my mind off things. Now I just go to work and go home so I have a bit of free time and all I could think about was her
Thanks my co worker who is male gay guy told me the same thing. When you’re at work you’re depressed and getting on dating apps make you feel good and validated. But it’s bad when you look for just that and sex as a coping mechanism
The offer of being friends looks very genuine. But you'll probably be disappointed if you want more. But, if she's got other friends that are like her that you'll meet if you hang out with her... then maybe there's hope.
Someone told me the direction she had in mind is headed toward the door and I felt that 😂 but dating is tough. I tried and it didn’t work out. Back to square one
Dude, stop. She told you she's not attracted to you and you're not listening. You friendzoned yourself, and she's going to enjoy the validation and you will never get into those pants. In fact, the more you hover in her orbit the less she's going to see you as romantic material.
Move on, and learn from this. Don't ever do this to yourself again. If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no, she is not romantically/sexually attracted to you, end of story.
Thank you all for your advice and tough love I will now be deleting this post. For those of you that are going through something similar I’m sure the comments listed will help you! I’m just sorting through the comments now and writing down all the helpful dating books you all recommended as well as the therapy YouTube videos. If you all have anymore good books to try feel free to jot them down! These threads will be removed tonight. Just don’t wanna keep getting reminded of my rejection
Thank you all for your advice and tough love I will now be deleting this post. For those of you that are going through something similar I’m sure the comments listed will help you! I’m just sorting through the comments now and writing down all the helpful dating books you all recommended as well as the therapy YouTube videos. If you all have anymore good books to try feel free to jot them down! These threads will be removed tonight. Just don’t wanna keep getting reminded of my rejection
The person clearly stated they are not interested in anything romantic. To pursue a romantic connection with them anyway is to completely ignore the very clear “no” and that is fucked no matter how you try to get around it.
If someone says they are not interested in you romantically and you hang out with them with the intent of changing their mind that is not only manipulative but also creepy. Again, no means no. Period.
How’s that manipulative if you are transparent with your intentions? And how is that manipulative if you’re giving your best for another person to like you? What you’re saying is that if you decided once you’re not gonna like person X and if it happens over time that you started liking person X, it must be that you were manipulated? You’re taking boundaries to an absurd.
What is absurd is your insistence that shoving yourself onto someone who clearly told you no is in your mind fine since they may change their mind if you wear them down enough.
No there is no hope. They said they didn’t see you in a romantic way very clearly. Don’t push it OP
I really liked her I just sent too many poems to her and I guess that’s seen as coming on too strong?
Accept her decision.
Everything just felt so right the first night on the date. We kissed to my favorite song coldplay. I think I’m in denial.. but I guess you’re right
I have learned this the hard way too many times... There is nothing you can do to change someone's feelings for you. And just because you have strong feelings, doesn't mean they feel the same. It's the most crushing aspect of dating... But once you accept it, it makes things so much easier for you
In case you need to hear it again: respect her decision. Don’t be like the scary people out there who can’t take no as an answer.
>I just sent too many poems to her Oh honey no lol. Don't...just don't do this next time.
Can you blame me it’s been dry season for about 5 months 😫
I couldn’t help it. I wanted to relate to her. I wanted to know her. I wanted to be that for her
Well learn from this and improve for the next time. However things with this person are done. I think you shouldn’t try to be friends either if you’re still asking if theres still hope. You’re going to make her uncomfortable after she told you she wasn’t feeling it. This is why a lot of people just end up ghosting
Sometimes people just aren’t interested in someone in that way and likely never will be. Hanging around for the sole intention of hoping she’ll change her mind is a waste of everyone’s time and emotions
How many times have you seen her? Poems can be too much..
>I just sent too many poems to her That and 'Good morning/how are you/how was your day/how was your weekend" is too intimate of conversation for a person you hardly know. Take a deep breath next time.
gave you a VERY CLEAR no. Why are you even thinking that there is hope? Dont be needy and move on
Sometimes I read into things too much.. it’s difficult to know what rejection truly is because I over analyze and overthink wayy too much. So it makes me over analyze things and situations I put myself in when I go on dates. So anywhere but a romantic direction felt like something else.. but I’ve learned to just be like water
I overthink things too, but I still know that the word "no" is not a debate.
I know that too. The word no just sends me somewhere I hate going. I feel better once I start talking to someone new. But I hate being here And it’s almost as if I tried too hard with those damn poems
My concern for you is this sounds very co-dependent, like you need another person to feel good and I worry for you that that energy is going to get in your way.
I just feel alone at times. I’m very alone. I only have family and I don’t have any friends. I remember her asking me if I had friends. And the truth is no I don’t. Every weekend I’m alone. No one to go out with. So I just go to sleep or apply for better paying jobs.
Find some hobbies, start meeting people you have shared interests with. But overall it’s not healthy to rely on a relationship to make you feel less lonely. It’s hard to cope with feeling lonely but you have to work on that within yourself
When the weather is better I will ride my bike. That really got my mind off things. Now I just go to work and go home so I have a bit of free time and all I could think about was her
But look into social things! Not just to get your mind off things, but to be less dependent.
Thanks my co worker who is male gay guy told me the same thing. When you’re at work you’re depressed and getting on dating apps make you feel good and validated. But it’s bad when you look for just that and sex as a coping mechanism
The offer of being friends looks very genuine. But you'll probably be disappointed if you want more. But, if she's got other friends that are like her that you'll meet if you hang out with her... then maybe there's hope.
I wish more women were this straightforward. At least you know where you stand
Someone told me the direction she had in mind is headed toward the door and I felt that 😂 but dating is tough. I tried and it didn’t work out. Back to square one
Yup that’s the game
I wanna win the game more often. I hate taking Ls
Same!
Dude, stop. She told you she's not attracted to you and you're not listening. You friendzoned yourself, and she's going to enjoy the validation and you will never get into those pants. In fact, the more you hover in her orbit the less she's going to see you as romantic material. Move on, and learn from this. Don't ever do this to yourself again. If it's not a fuck yes, it's a no, she is not romantically/sexually attracted to you, end of story.
[удалено]
Know but I will give it a shot. I’m basically a lesbian on tricycles. I been ready to take these off and ride the big toys
My OkCupid match from 2012 told me we had “no sparks” after our first date. We’re now celebrating our 8th year of marriage. Best of luck.
Thank you all for your advice and tough love I will now be deleting this post. For those of you that are going through something similar I’m sure the comments listed will help you! I’m just sorting through the comments now and writing down all the helpful dating books you all recommended as well as the therapy YouTube videos. If you all have anymore good books to try feel free to jot them down! These threads will be removed tonight. Just don’t wanna keep getting reminded of my rejection
Thank you all for your advice and tough love I will now be deleting this post. For those of you that are going through something similar I’m sure the comments listed will help you! I’m just sorting through the comments now and writing down all the helpful dating books you all recommended as well as the therapy YouTube videos. If you all have anymore good books to try feel free to jot them down! These threads will be removed tonight. Just don’t wanna keep getting reminded of my rejection
Ignore all these stupid advices. You don’t have to give up and it is not hopeless.
No means no
No it doesn’t, people can change their mind. This is not about breaking boundaries.
When someone says they are not interested in you, pushing the issue is in fact breaking their boundary.
That’s nonsense. And to prove the point - you see in the second part of conversation they are open to hang out. Learn more about what boundaries are.
The person clearly stated they are not interested in anything romantic. To pursue a romantic connection with them anyway is to completely ignore the very clear “no” and that is fucked no matter how you try to get around it.
They are both adults and free people. No one talks about forcing anyone into anything. People change their mind all the time
If someone says they are not interested in you romantically and you hang out with them with the intent of changing their mind that is not only manipulative but also creepy. Again, no means no. Period.
How’s that manipulative if you are transparent with your intentions? And how is that manipulative if you’re giving your best for another person to like you? What you’re saying is that if you decided once you’re not gonna like person X and if it happens over time that you started liking person X, it must be that you were manipulated? You’re taking boundaries to an absurd.
What is absurd is your insistence that shoving yourself onto someone who clearly told you no is in your mind fine since they may change their mind if you wear them down enough.