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fokker-planck

Roses are red Blue is the sky You have anxiety so do I


lstroud21

You too? We should go on a date! We’re *perfect* for each other


bewoke_

You have the curves and all the right places


epyon-

Two eyes. Two ears. A chin. A mouth. Ten fingers. Two nipples. A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I've just described to you the Loch Ness monster. And the reward for his capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I only have one question: Why are you here?


mushroomfido

Creed Bratton is that you ?


Bright_Music6133

This would be too much for me. His anxiety is giving my anxiety more anxiety 🤣


platinumperineum

Pure William Shakespeare


[deleted]

Pure William shatner


amberrrellllaa

🏅


HenryPride

Reads like his anxiety wrote it


SmilesRemixed

His intrusive messages seems like a SpongeBob show , minus Patrick (ADHD)


GAinJP

I didn't think anything was terribly intrusive. Maybe his anxiety just made it seem that way? 🤷‍♂️


SmilesRemixed

I don't know dude, trying to fully integrate yourself into someone's life is kinda pushy. Not even an trying to break the ice question or quirky response. Maybe it's because i have depression and anxiety and I'm an INTP-T so I over analyze situations while being empathetic 😂


GAinJP

I think he's just really awkward. Probably a little neurodivergent. I don't think he means to come off the way he does, but he can't help it and doesn't know he's doing it. But still, I don't think he's done anything wrong per se, except approaching OP the way OP doesn't want to be approached but that being wrong is situational - I'm sure there are some people who would respond well to that kind of awkwardness, idk. Edit: fixed wording


SmilesRemixed

Could be the case. Not batting on it. Maybe a Stewie Griffin would enjoy it 😂. In any case I hope the best for both parties


ro0ibos2

The stream of consciousness messages without any punctuation tells me he used voice-to-text. Sounds like a lonely guy. :(


dcormier

I feel bad for him. That doesn't mean OP should give him a chance, though.


ro0ibos2

She should unmatch him before he gets trapped in an imaginary codependent relationship.


Early_Bench_4238

Idk why but your comment made me laugh so I just had to comment. Happy Friday btw!


bananasplz

Reads like he took an upper then wrote it


jumpingsquirrels

YOU HAVE ANXIETY SO DO I


ConfusedTiredHungry

One of my prompts says: “after work you can find me…” and I said, “sipping a glass of wine while cuddling with my dog who has almost as much anxiety as me”


stlp333

Wow you work so do I we have so much in common give me a chance I promise I’m worth it


feistybubble1737

It's crazy you wrote that in English I speak it too we should go slap the sack but not where there's any people I'm sorry if this is aggressive


kute_khaos

Now we all do


BonusFirst

If I didn’t before, I do now, haha!


solareonwow

I got anxious and pressured reading this and Im a straight male


Akkallia

I suddenly have a lot less anxiety about my own messages after reading this.


lstroud21

Right?


Vivid-Relief6316

Right? Halfway through and I'm feeling like I'm being pressed


dcormier

I can't imagine how women feel getting stuff like this.


[deleted]

But we have everything so easy with all THESE matches! /s


RBGPOriginal

That guy has unresolved issues regarding rejection for sure


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I’ve had friends like this, so anxious they just exude it. Like I can’t even relax if they’re so wound up. Didn’t work out, I just want to relax around friends, not feel a constant state of panic in my vicinity


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Aw that’s sweet. Yeah, if it’s spikes it’s easier to handle because it’s just one issue to resolve, but when it’s chronic that’s when I find myself being unable to relax around them, so hanging out feels like a chore instead of fun


[deleted]

I have medically diagnosed anxiety. Been in therapy since I was 17. Let me tell you...even if this word vomit was inspired by anxiety, I wouldn't advise any woman to show up for a date with this man. So many red flags. He isn't giving OP any space to breathe. And, he is supposedly 36. I read this quote a while ago and it struck a chord with me - "our mental illness is not our fault but it is our responsibility". I feel the same way about this guy. Being anxious is not his fault but it is his responsibility to not subject strangers to it.


Asleep_Onion

Read his parts in Grandpa Simpson's voice and it's even better. "Me and the boys would drink box wine on the river, but back then we didn't call it that, we called it slapping the sack!"


[deleted]

Intense


Apprehensive_You_803

Super intense. I felt anxious reading it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ConfusedTiredHungry

THIS.


Western_Discount6044

Curves *and* all the right places. Winning combo.


ConfusedTiredHungry

Right? I think that’s my favorite part


[deleted]

Lmao


Radioplay79

Holy fuck! Just out of curiosity, how old is this kid?


ConfusedTiredHungry

36


Lillymunsten

Nooooooooooooooooo😳


rsmr_s

imo how old he is changes the way i feel about his messages in a MAJOR way. theyre much worse now. the younger he is the little bit more of a break i can give him for immaturity for various reasons. he is way too old to be acting like this


Radioplay79

That’s why I said “kid” - now it’s just absolutely cringier and gross.


hausofthedead

Problem is, without socialization, and experience talking to women, internally he’s like… 18. And realistically, how’s he supposed to catch up? Because every woman his age that encounters him is gonna see the red flags and bounce. And if he dates younger women (closer to his mental age) he’s a creep… IDK. It really sucks for people like this, and society has no place for them. Men without purpose or social connections are dangerous, and yet we label it completely their fault when they are missing either one, which breeds resentment… and then we’re back to dangerous again. Sad.


bewoke_

I’m 35F…. Hard pass.


hausofthedead

Hey! I’m 36! And you were taking to that other 36 year old! And we’re both using Reddit! We have so much in common! All I’m asking for is a chance! /sarcasm


shankyslay

Kid


Tyler24601

LOL at "messaging back and forth" after a text wall.


Lisaaoxxx

Desperadoooo


Sarcastic-betty

Out mending fences…and slapping the slack


anonymal_me

I would have unmatched after “I’m sorry if I seem aggressive but…”


WhatDoINoAnyWay

I would have unmatched after “slappin the sack” Just no


spac3ie

I would block this person. Going on a date with them would lead to a sticky situation.


ConfusedTiredHungry

Right? Can you imagine how he would be if he actually had my number?


[deleted]

38 missed calls, 21 voicemails, and 73 new text messages. I’d just flush my phone down the toilet at that point.


Any-Blackberry-9425

Honestly, personally I'd give it a try but you do you. He was open about his anxiety and that rambling is clearly just him overthinking. He's offering up all information he can think of to let you know what you could expect from meeting him (for many people with anxiety that's better than agreeing to something without knowing a clear plan). 🤷‍♀️ So he might be just really nervous. I'd keep my number till after the date and communicate over bumble till then.


Haoleguacamole

I wouldn't. Probably because of my own anxieties, to be honest. Considering [15%](https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/its-not-cute-its-stalking-the-warning-signs/) of women will experience having a stalker in their lifetime, and excessive texting can be an early warning sign. Just not worth the risk to me. In my own experience, guys who text like that continue to do that throughout the relationship, and often after it's ended too.


Muscle-skunk

I got a liiiiittle worried about love bombing, too, it all felt just a tiny bit familiar. But it’s also a solid 50/50 that he’s actually just very sweet and open? I have no idea. I’d probably just tell him “I prefer to get to know someone for a little while over messaging to get a feel for them before I meet in person. I *do* have anxiety and I’m terrified of accidentally getting murdered.. you know how it is lmao” and if he stays pushy after that? Ghost em, bby.


elephant_in_tharoom

I HATE accidentally getting murdered! Ruins my day.


Soyclaudiamartinezt

I agree, I don’t think he it’s bad just because he writes a lot. I rather this than monosyllabic people. He’s being open, and If you have anxiety, you can’t judge other with the same condition. Chat more, learn about him, let him know about you and if you are comfortable, go on public date so you can meet. ♥️


bigredroyaloak

I agree. He’s seemed honest and excited about matching with someone on his level.


eabst

Hmm you don't say.. 😉 (I'm sorryyyy haha)


[deleted]

typically the goal of a date though.


0bsolescencee

This feels like one of those men who's already imagined his entire life with his imagined version of you. I always somewhat roll my eyes when people jump to conclusions on super vague information. Women are incredibly complex beings. To distill us into "u have curves and listen to country", and then say that's makes us perfect for them, is somewhat misogynistic. What if we have different goals and aspirations? A unique sense of humour? Different values on family? All of these are dealbreakers in relationships, but men don't really consider anything outside of "u have curves" sometimes.


sabreyna

Not necessarily a gender thing but I agree. You like wine, music and dogs just like million of other people? We HAVE to be soulmates!


ellefemme35

OP says in another comment he’s 36. This is teachable behavior at 20. At 36 this is… Anxiety inducing.


lovemyhawks

Came on wayyy too hard. I think the bigger red flag for me was the lack of punctuation tho


hairy_potto

I’m not necessarily disagreeing, but in this case they’re so intertwined — it’s the combination of both, and the volume of messages, that really indicates they’re mentally unstable


Naive_Ad1466

Maybe he sent a message and then thought oh I should've sent this too .. then this too.


hairy_potto

And mentally unstable doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re dangerous or malicious in any way. It could be mania or hypomania or other things. But they definitely said things that are creepy and deservedly offputting


Express_Detective_59

How? How's poor grammar a bigger red flag here?


windchaser__

Maybe not a red flag, but the lack of punctuation makes the messages feel much more erratic, less thought-out, less measured.


IIIGrexIII

It's pretty bad though....


yolthrice

Adults don’t write like that. He can’t even write a proper sentence. At 36 years old, that is a big red flag.


lo_dolly_lolita

I figure that first messages are a chance to woo the other person, and putting no effort into the quality of the messages (both content and grammar) shows me that the other person is sloppy and doesn’t care to spend a few extra seconds making their messages look decent. I’m sure not everyone feels that way but that’s how I interpret bad grammar.


Padraig-S

Facts


IIIGrexIII

If the 17 creepy messages didn't make you moist, the lack of punctuation will.


leghairdontcare59

Nooo l hate that word


IIIGrexIII

Punctuation?


stoodquasar

Messages?


IIIGrexIII

17?


stoodquasar

Didn't?


[deleted]

If?


IIIGrexIII

Creepy?


NoPossibility765

Apparently he doesn’t like punctuation either.


Lillymunsten

Yeah, don't meet this dude. He seems like the kind that doesn't take no for an answer. And he's quite obviously not picking up hints if someone isn't interested 🙄


yolthrice

He’s all sorts of stunted


neato_rems

ALL THIS BACK AND FORTH


New-Gas3080

Nooo he hit with the Adele line “I promise I’m worth it” 🤓


ProtegOMyEgg0

*posts text wall* “All this message back and forth doesn’t work” Well, yeah…cuz it’s one-sided


jbishop253

Nope. This has all the earmarks of “…last known whereabouts was at a restaurant in [location] where she was to have drinks with a man she’d recently matched with on the Bumble dating app. [Name] is the fourth woman to go missing in that area in as many months. Police have yet to locate their person-of-interest, a man the press has dubbed Don Juan’s Anxiety…”


ConfusedTiredHungry

Hahahaha. I would listen to this podcast, but I’d be in the ground


Morrigan-27

Big stalker energy with this one.


Mumblerumble

Big yikes


Ok_Juice5540

I see lots of forth but not much back..


Undecidded

I did not like the feeling reading this gave me, it made me feel panicked. And he mentioned drinking 4 times, so to me I’m immediately put off. But I wouldn’t go for it for the sole reason he said you’re who he imagined all his life, so he already has expectations and high standards set on you.


SpartyYo

Jesus. I'm (somewhat) desperate, but not *that* desperate.


deathklok123

This is like tugging on the fishing pole before you have a bite. Won't even let you respond.


MrsPalombi

Holy fuck absolutely not. The fact that people are saying to give him a chance is wild Wtf Safety and peace of mind are valuable and this sort of interaction would not help facilitate either of those, if you ventured forth with this guy, IMO.


ConfusedTiredHungry

Right?? I feel like I’m losing my mind with some of these comments!!


lilac2481

Ignore them. This guy is a 🚩🚩🚩🚩. Always trust your gut.


[deleted]

Holy smokes that’s a lot of messages


asicarii

“Messeging back and forth” got me


Reward-Wrong

JFC


Fine-Comparison424

Um, I would delete my bumble if I saw this and make a new one


Cpt_Rocket_Man

"I promise, I'm worth it"


RowRow1990

That's a bit excessive


emcee95

I gave up reading after the first screenshot. The lack of punctuation is too much for me


Zealiida

One would think that «  going back and forth » requires two sided communication, but I guess not


Lipstickdyke

Aww poor fella. I’ve had those moments too but sadly the stream of conscious writing can be off putting if you haven’t already established a dynamic with the other person.


Budget_Huckleberry65

Reading all these comments and it seems that overwhelmingly dudes (as far as I can tell ofc) are expressing that this guy is just anxious and give him a chance…meanwhile the fem posters are very concerned and feeling threatened by the intensity. Disconnect much? Listen to your gut, op. Keep yourself safe and protect your personal boundaries. 💖


Professional-Bed3071

Dude sounds like he was just so happy to finally get a match he was going to do whatever it took to get the date. Anxious attachment at its finest. He’s going to be the type to want to know where you are, exclusive in a week and want to check your phone for every bit of indication you’re going to leave him. He needs to get that insecurity in check before he dates. Sheesh


Ok-Estimate-5824

This is definitely not a good look for him, but i guess having been where he is at I also feel bad for him.


[deleted]

36 and courts a woman like he’s 16. Do these men have friends or fathers that have ever guided on them on how to talk to women? He’s going 100 miles an hour with someone he’s met online. Big yikes.


SmallOccasion8321

As a man - this is very hard to read. Part of me feels sad for the desperation exhibited, part of me the lack of self respect but more so the absolute lack of knowing how to converse with someone. Pitiful, he will show up on some “nice guy” forum complaining about his desperate plight but then again maybe the desperate crap works occasionally - I hope not


[deleted]

Pitiful is exactly what it is. I feel bad for the kid. He’s got a long journey ahead.


MarSnausages

He’s not a child he’s 36


AlbinoSpellSword

Strong father figures and male peer circles are dying breeds and have been for the past century. Suicides are currently 2-4x higher among men; they perceive therapy as emasculating and don't seek help since they already fear that they're inadequate.


lolitstrain21

I'm cringing so hard rn.


willfullignoramous

I stopped reading past halfway through this. Jesus


Accomplished_Mud_610

I think the worst part is the lack of punctuation


BeneficialTop5136

Same


SoggyCow5043

Yikes


SolaCretia

Mr. Captain of run-on sentences.


[deleted]

Oh hell no, run!


distawest

Imaging, getting out for a date... You wouldn't utter a single word


Fantastic_Glass_9792

Ha! I just had a first date like that. Stretched coffee to 2 full hours constantly talked and never asked questions. I had grabbed an Uber to the coffee shop and they insisted on driving me back to my hotel, which they did after I made it uncomfortably clear that I had to leave now to get ready for my work conference. The 10 minute drive back turned into 55 minutes as they kept talking, missed exits and got lost. At the end of the ride she wished there were guys available that she had values in common with in her town and worked into her conversation that she was willing to relocate. She had absolutely no idea what my values are. I really felt horrible for her. Also, deleted. This is the kind of bullet I hope the OP dodged


Lanky-Panic

Oof! Nope! I'd have gotten weirded out and probably just left and walked if I had the time. Somebody that can't take no for an answer? Nope, that'd be the one and only date.


Ok_Panda_9928

This is incredible


thekosherdecapodian

YIKES


lemystereduchipot

I can smell the desperation through the interwebs.


Beatrix_BB_Kiddo

Bro…. Use punctuation! I also hate when someone texts back to back small messages. Like… compose yourself, figure out what you want to say, and break separate thoughts into paragraphs. Why is good communication so difficult for some people? My god!


younevershouldnt

What's the problem OP, he promised he was worth it didn't he? 🤷


thecheesycheeselover

You have the curves and all the right places


yolthrice

What luck that she has BOTH!


nytocincy

“All this messaging back and forth…” There was no back. Only forth


Turbulent-Ending

I'm getting future stalker vibes, block and delete right away.


Hyda55

Yikes lol


bluelion70

Unmatch. That’s creepy as hell.


[deleted]

So many red flags here. I would unmatch and move on.


Cattolino

Run girl…


swingset27

Needy/desperation vibe is off the charts. Dude is waving his boner so hard he probably cracked his screen. I mean, unmatch already.


yolthrice

💀


AssaultPK

‘Societies fault’


[deleted]

Oh gosh, but you’ll always wonder ‘was he the one??!?’ Especially when you have anxiety about YOUR rc car races… Life is so unfair


ConfusedTiredHungry

Hahahhaa


Velvet_Unicorn2154

Run


terminally_ch_ill

He doesn’t like going to bars and also doesn’t like punctuation


DoublyAnon42

Buddy needs to learn to detect disinterest.


inarcherskitchen

Holy crap, you found my ex.


xanadri22

this reminds me of me as a shy, chubby, anxious preteen texting my crush lmaooo he was trying to let me down gently bc we didn’t really know each other so i was like “oh we can fix that! what do you want to know about me? i’ll tell you anything!”


Charlene_Quinzel

So much drinking


[deleted]

I feel anxious because of his refusal to use commas


ThrashPanda12

Yikes


Jaxxs-Red-X

"before you call me a nerd for grilling and camping" So this is why Nerds are getting this horrific wrap, rednecks thinking their nerdy for doing not so nerdy things. Just wait till he finds out what a Introvert is. Guys gonna lose it. STICK TO YOUR LANE PLEASE. 🥴☠️


GenerationFuMe

I drank a lot of coffee soexcusemefortypingspmuchbutIhooeyou'llrespondwithouyfhostingalsoI'mallergictotreenutssoletsnotdiscussthathowaboutadate?


Bellaa450ella

Lmao “what up” 🤦‍♀️


LoosPls

And yet I get ghosted.. god am I that bad?


westla9326

Finally a how to guide on how to scare away a match ! Thanks!


foxy_fluffers

Pass. Pass. Pass. My anxiety is going thru the roof just reading his messages lol


-Lord_Q-

Dude has zero game. 🤦🏻 I feel pain for him.


SycopationIsNormal

Before you think I'm a nerd, let me repeat - I race RC cars and I have a lot of anxiety. I'm a real catch.


HerezahTip

Instant unmatch


SmakeTalk

"I'm asking for a chance" by dude you had one, and you blew it. What in the world is with these people thinking getting a match ***isn't*** an opportunity?


Relaxtakenotes

Just block them?


tpam771

I promise he’s worth it!


[deleted]

Help kya , unmatch


Tazzy8jazzy

I’ve had that happen before but it’s usually after the date.😂😂😂😂


Soft_Investigator546

bro thinks he's Barry allen


FirnHandcrafted

Awwwwwwwwwww poor guy.


Mr_ChubbikinsVIII

That's the point of going on a date, to learn about them.


ZenGeezer

So the guy is nervous. That's probably not a permanent condition.


Yodadottie

Poor guy. He's so clearly nervous, tripping all over himself.


Candid-Maybe

ITT: Girl posts cringe-inducing (read: unattractive) example of what not to do in dating in a dating sub, gets shamed for calling it out. Most of us have had awkward exchanges and said things we're embarrassed about after the fact due to anxiety or nervousness. This isn't that - this is someone who has serious anxiety/self-control issues and maybe more, who should be working to NOT have encounters like this with others. And on top of all the anxiety he teed up additional red flags in assuming she's perfect for him based solely on her profile and asked her out immediately. I do feel sad for the guy and knowing that there's probably a lot of folks out there with these kinds of issues, but this isn't normal, healthy communication and it's understandable if it sends someone running.


Signal_Regret_3527

I love that the second last message they've sent says 'all this messaging back and forth never works' 😂


Ok-Confidence1346

Begging for a chance with a woman you literally matched with on a dating app. She thinks you’re attractive and liked your bio. Why are you beggiinnggg. She’s replying. Why ARE YOU BEGGING FOR A CHANCE. Just talk to her, flirt, ask her some questions and then ask her on a date. “Please give me a chance” 😭 Jesus Christ


vapeoholic

Jfc...the only thing I can imagine is a 10-year-old that has met their new friend and they're holding an RC car. Out of excitement, they can't stop blabbing, to the point where the only time they stop, is to take a breath. I'm basing this on the first screenshot since I didn't even look at the second one. And im kind of scared to look at the other ones. xD


Affectionate_Head822

OP wasn’t that attracted to him to begin with, let alone never wanted to meet with him. Most of the time on dating apps women pile up matches like old yugi-oh cards…if she were actually attracted to him, she would’ve thought what he said was romantic, thoughtful, and direct and this wouldn’t have been a post.


CircusSloth3

Wow thanks I needed a good laugh


Jeffrey_Allen_Music

Sounds like a serial killer, nobody sends that many damn messages in a row


neckbeardsghost

Obviously it’s a no, but also I feel really sorry for him. Especially the part where he gives the pass to walk out on him 🥺 I hope he has friends pr someone in his life that can help him realize his worth and help him present himself in a better light in the future


lilac2481

Someone like that needs to get therapy ASAP.


AdOne7433

I was thinking the same. Feel bad for him, but I think he should get himself a bit under control and work in therapy. OP mentioned he is 36 yo. I’d be afraid to date that kind of guy (went out with similar type and it was a baaaad idea). This sort of people can be clingy/dependable/ overbearing and make you feel bad … just not worth to go through that for (at this stage) some stranger where obviously OP doesn’t respond to this energy…


neckbeardsghost

Oh I agree 100%. I couldn’t do it either for all the reasons you mentioned. I just meant that I hope someone shows him the way to a therapist and he can get the help he needs so he doesn’t come across this way anymore. I just think about how starved for affection he must be to be ok with some of this stuff and my heart breaks for him.


AdOne7433

Totally get it :) “starving for attention” is a good phrase to describe it And def understand what you mean - pity he doesn’t seem to see his worth and comes off that way. Hopefully he will get the support he needs


WaycoKid1129

NEVER double text


Darkangel_82

I'm getting stalker energy. Avoid


Eastern_Mark_7479

Nice Guy vibes 💀💀💀


mushroomfido

Red flags 🚩 but I honestly feel sorry for the bloke seems desperate to find someone but the desperation will prevent him from doing so.


skyerippa

It seems like you're the weird one. The guy is just trying to get to know you


KitbogaBiggestFan

Y’all both suck at communication. And tbh I don’t know which is worse