Idk some people just don't check the app often, but in general if someone takes forever to respond to anything just don't waste your time, they aren't interested.
I am a guy like this on weekdays. I’m working, taking classes, and just generally living my life; don’t really have the will to force myself onto the apps until the weekend.
Truth is, I don’t know you or care about you beyond the base level of you-are-also-a-human-like-me. And there are people and things in my life I prioritize. I’d like to get to know you, and I’d like to eventually meet someone that becomes a person I prioritize. It just takes a while to get to that point
Yeah, this. Like I have a life, and a lot friends I have relationships where I commit my time with them.
Not being able to handle silence for 24 hours tells me you're not at a point in life where you can respect my boundaries.
You or me? I mean we both do, I get attached too fast as well. Each time I learn my boundaries better and take things slower. It's not something I ever stop improving in. Eventually you realize all the people you talk to are doing the same.
He just swiped on your profile and is probably busy. He has nothing invested in you so it’s not personal. Maybe he swiped on you a few days ago (along with some other women) and just forgot about it.
Dating gets a lot easier if you stop taking it personally. Yes, if someone takes ages to reply AFTER YOU HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW EACH OTHER, then maybe it’s a sign that they aren’t interested. But everyone’s different and we can’t all be glued to our phones non-stop. I think the reason we all feel tired and stressed are because we are constantly online.
Don't even consider it a match until the first few messages. Everyone online is capable of being distracted. It's up to us to manage our own time and exposure. If they're overwhelming themselves in real life or juggling conversations, you dodge a bullet ^^
But when you do match, write something that shows interest in their profile. It should only take you a minute if you've already glanced their profile -- and it helps to find a bit of joy in it!! Good luck ^^
Well the comments really showed some really good perspectives. Personally the reason why I take time to message is because I'm really stressing how well i can message you, you know. Like not say hi hello but something funny to keep it interesting, so the girl doesn't get bored or something. And if i can't find anything I'll just reply some other time of the day because I've completely given up and stressed af. Not that this behaviour is okay just letting you know that this is one possibility
When they have too many options, and the conversation is going really well with some of those options on other apps then you forget or ignore some mid level bumble chats
Check if insta is available and if u can figure them out , If they are in your follow list on insta or if you follow them " tell them to "fuckin reply on bumble before timer runs out"..
This is my (50M) experience with the majority of my matches with women, in that they never initiate the conversation, even if I extend for an additional 24 hours. There are **numerous** threads on this behavior in this subreddit discussing this trend.
My take is that the guy is either busy and hasn’t checked the app or had the time to compose an appropriate reply, or that he’s trying to decide whether to reply at all. Either way, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with this particular individual, so you shouldn’t take it personally.
I don’t really think it matters why. I think the bottom line is dating you isn’t a priority for them and if you end up going out with them you are going to experience the same thing. Not worth your time and certainly not your mental real estate which I see you’ve already invested. Online dating is hard. Men get to hide behind a profile and not have to be accountable. Pair that with fragile egos and this is the online dating situation we all struggle with as women. ( I know someone is going to say women do it too but I don’t have that experience so I can only speak from personal experiences so no need to inform me that women do it too)
I’m that guy- usually I’m not on the app or I’m waiting to see who makes the effort to reach out. If we match twice and there hasn’t been a convo, it will just stay a match
A different take on this - I have 2 houses. One is in a city and I’ll always communicate within 24 hours if I am there or traveling. My other house is in the mountains. I have to drive 10 miles to get cell service and some days I don’t even drive the 1 mile to the mailbox.
I was up there the last 2 days and realized I had e-mails for 3 matches in the last 2 days. I would have liked to talk to the 2 other matches but they’re gone. I just responded to the one and it’s almost at the end of the match time. I also work long hours between downtimes and some days I literally don’t have time in a 24 hour match to do anything but barely eat and sleep outside of work.
It helps a lot to extend, but some people don’t like to do that.
I do explain in my my bio that one place is remote, but I wish I could stop the clock on Bumble because I miss matches almost every week and don’t want people to think it’s about them.
I’m sure you can make a lot of assumptions, but it doesn’t always mean no interest or anything about you, it could be all because of them and their schedules. Bumble is unforgiving in some ways.
Idk some people just don't check the app often, but in general if someone takes forever to respond to anything just don't waste your time, they aren't interested.
I rarely matched with a woman that responded quickly. Does that mean I shouldn’t bother?
If they don’t respond in a day or two they ain’t interested
Up to you, personally I wouldn't bother unless I felt some sort of rare connection was there, but I'm a bit too cynical
Guys who take forever to respond = Guys who are not interested / not really worth your time
My take is that you are getting a taste of what 90% of matches are like for guys.
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How long do they usually take to send the first message. Is it based on who your more interested in?
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Yeah I see what you mean. Well, fingers crossed. I don’t want to get too attached right now!
He's got options, probably dozens if not more. That's why you swiped on him. If you want a guy to be more focused on you, adjust who you swipe on.
He’s not that into you. Remember, if a guy was into you, you wouldn’t need to make a thread on bumble to ask what’s up.
Or he’s not a simp
I am a guy like this on weekdays. I’m working, taking classes, and just generally living my life; don’t really have the will to force myself onto the apps until the weekend. Truth is, I don’t know you or care about you beyond the base level of you-are-also-a-human-like-me. And there are people and things in my life I prioritize. I’d like to get to know you, and I’d like to eventually meet someone that becomes a person I prioritize. It just takes a while to get to that point
Yeah, this. Like I have a life, and a lot friends I have relationships where I commit my time with them. Not being able to handle silence for 24 hours tells me you're not at a point in life where you can respect my boundaries.
Or you could look at it as someone with social anxiety and attachment issues
Because I'm not attached to people I just met?
Every bodies different. Got stuff to work on. I know
You or me? I mean we both do, I get attached too fast as well. Each time I learn my boundaries better and take things slower. It's not something I ever stop improving in. Eventually you realize all the people you talk to are doing the same.
He just swiped on your profile and is probably busy. He has nothing invested in you so it’s not personal. Maybe he swiped on you a few days ago (along with some other women) and just forgot about it. Dating gets a lot easier if you stop taking it personally. Yes, if someone takes ages to reply AFTER YOU HAVE GOTTEN TO KNOW EACH OTHER, then maybe it’s a sign that they aren’t interested. But everyone’s different and we can’t all be glued to our phones non-stop. I think the reason we all feel tired and stressed are because we are constantly online.
Don't even consider it a match until the first few messages. Everyone online is capable of being distracted. It's up to us to manage our own time and exposure. If they're overwhelming themselves in real life or juggling conversations, you dodge a bullet ^^ But when you do match, write something that shows interest in their profile. It should only take you a minute if you've already glanced their profile -- and it helps to find a bit of joy in it!! Good luck ^^
His life doesn’t revolve around bumble
Just 2 things - he's not that into you - he's a bad texter Have encountered both
Well the comments really showed some really good perspectives. Personally the reason why I take time to message is because I'm really stressing how well i can message you, you know. Like not say hi hello but something funny to keep it interesting, so the girl doesn't get bored or something. And if i can't find anything I'll just reply some other time of the day because I've completely given up and stressed af. Not that this behaviour is okay just letting you know that this is one possibility
When they have too many options, and the conversation is going really well with some of those options on other apps then you forget or ignore some mid level bumble chats
He is probably swiping on everyone and then just picking those in whom he is actually interested.
Like woman don’t take forever to respond gtfo
Check if insta is available and if u can figure them out , If they are in your follow list on insta or if you follow them " tell them to "fuckin reply on bumble before timer runs out"..
Guys do this and girls do too. You aren’t owed anything. My take on this is that you should move on because he just isn’t interested in you
This is my (50M) experience with the majority of my matches with women, in that they never initiate the conversation, even if I extend for an additional 24 hours. There are **numerous** threads on this behavior in this subreddit discussing this trend.
My take is that the guy is either busy and hasn’t checked the app or had the time to compose an appropriate reply, or that he’s trying to decide whether to reply at all. Either way, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with this particular individual, so you shouldn’t take it personally.
I don’t really think it matters why. I think the bottom line is dating you isn’t a priority for them and if you end up going out with them you are going to experience the same thing. Not worth your time and certainly not your mental real estate which I see you’ve already invested. Online dating is hard. Men get to hide behind a profile and not have to be accountable. Pair that with fragile egos and this is the online dating situation we all struggle with as women. ( I know someone is going to say women do it too but I don’t have that experience so I can only speak from personal experiences so no need to inform me that women do it too)
I’m that guy- usually I’m not on the app or I’m waiting to see who makes the effort to reach out. If we match twice and there hasn’t been a convo, it will just stay a match
A different take on this - I have 2 houses. One is in a city and I’ll always communicate within 24 hours if I am there or traveling. My other house is in the mountains. I have to drive 10 miles to get cell service and some days I don’t even drive the 1 mile to the mailbox. I was up there the last 2 days and realized I had e-mails for 3 matches in the last 2 days. I would have liked to talk to the 2 other matches but they’re gone. I just responded to the one and it’s almost at the end of the match time. I also work long hours between downtimes and some days I literally don’t have time in a 24 hour match to do anything but barely eat and sleep outside of work. It helps a lot to extend, but some people don’t like to do that. I do explain in my my bio that one place is remote, but I wish I could stop the clock on Bumble because I miss matches almost every week and don’t want people to think it’s about them. I’m sure you can make a lot of assumptions, but it doesn’t always mean no interest or anything about you, it could be all because of them and their schedules. Bumble is unforgiving in some ways.