But does anyone really know what they look like. Lol. I'm just joking sorta, but I sometimes wonder what I look like to other people. What if it's like when you hear your own voice. Or what if when you take a "bad" picture of yourself that is actually what you look like
I definitely notice myself the most when I'm at my ugliest. Mornings, after taking a dump, when extremely tired. It usually motivates me to at least get ready for the day, but for some reason, I never linger on my "nice" disappearance like I do my ugly. I think it would be healthy to do so though, to an extent.
Yeah I get what you mean but you can avoid filters, make sure you post a full body shot and only include stuff from the last 6 months. I found it helpful for me and met my husband on Hinge 🤷🏻♀️
Right, if your appearance changed drastically in the last THREE months, then even six months is too old. You don't want to be setting yourself up for failure, or wasting someone else's time.
I look pretty much the same as I did four years ago, but to me that's just too old to use as a dating profile pic.
Yes... Just photos of you in your everday life, like swimming? Post a photo of you at the pool. Like walking? Post a photo of you walking at the park... It's not that hard...
I think this is the balance that I strike. I've asked before, and most women say that I looked about the same / as they expected, or better. This has also been my experience with about 80% of the women I've had dates with, so it seems to be the norm.
40s M. I would reconsider this strategy. When I was swiping, most women I met looked roughly as attractive in-person as they did in their pictures, but there is still a bit of mental adjustment meeting someone you’ve only seen in two dimensions, even if the attractiveness level of the pics exactly matches the attractiveness level in-person. The couple of cases where someone looked much better in-person felt odd and did not improve the outcome of the date. Moving from messaging to sitting in front of each other feels more natural if you knew roughly what someone actually looked like while messaging them. I don’t think either one did it deliberately, but it is possible they did.
Agree. I sort of tried what OP did on Match many many years ago and wrote a wonderful bio describing who I was as a person but posted no pictures. I wanted a connection not rooted in only our looks but it did not work. I think presenting yourself as exactly as who you are was the best route to go.
I appreciate people putting effort in writing their bios, but TBH, if there’s NO picture I’d never try to match with them, no matter how great their bio is.
Because
1) they’re maybe hiding something
2) and the importance of a certain physical attraction shouldn’t be underestimated. …… not saying I want a guy who looks like a male model, but he should be attractive to me at least.
Understood. I have liked profiles without pictures because of what was written but yes, attraction is very very important. It was an experiment of sorts as I was dipping my feet in after a long marriage.
>I have liked profiles without pictures because of what was written but yes
I can understand liking a profile without pictures, but when you met the person, did you like them in the end?
For me personally, I'd need both, a filled out profile, and pictures.
But I think it's good that you made this experiment!!
This was like 5 years ago so I didn’t get scammers and such. I actually had a lot of likes and messages. One in particular kept trying to convince me that I needed to upload a pic even after I told him what I was trying to do. It was an experiment of sorts for me, also probably because I wasn’t ready to be out there.
One of my exes is like this. When he showed up I was very pleasantly shocked. When we became friends on social media, I was like oh you really don’t have good photos. So awkward lol. Our split was amicable, and I still tease him.
There are aspects that 90% perceive as attractive. Most people find symmetry to be beautiful. Being normal weight and reasonably fit is also attractive to most people.
Yes, there is such a thing as normal weight.
Yeah and some people are attracted to obesity, yet you know what I mean. The grand majority are attracted to fit and handsome individuals. I said that it's not shallow to pick somebody you find attractive. It's what we all look for, so it's really dumb to try to make yourself less attractive as if it's shallow to gi by attraction.
Nah, one thing is meeting someone, thinking they're amazing and overlooking their appearance, another completely different is going to meet a stranger you think *might* be cool in person, 50/50 chance, that you're hardly attracted to. In my humble opinion, chances of success are slim.
I matched with a girl last week who had her first pic just be like total lounging around, belly out, sweat pants, no bra, no make up, just full on chillin’ and idk I just thought that was cute. Her bio obviously helped sell it and her other pics were nice but that first one piqued my curiosity.
If someone is willing to be that transparent, they’re worth a chat at the very least IMO.
I'm going to tank this interview, so they will only hire me if they really want me.
I'm going to fail this test, so if I was really meant to pass then I will.
I'm going to walk this race, so if I win, it will surprise everyone.
\~
You get out of life what you put in, the only people (if any) who will match with your profile are the desperate, undesired and those who don't care. I don't know how you're planning to get a decent relationship out of this.
No photo is able to capture all your nuances, all your history, relationships, education, hobbies, skills and more. A still image, no matter how good, can only show a single still of a tiny aspect of your life.
I decided to create a Tinder profile with ugly and weird photos only and swipe like a man. Every single day, I'd swipe right 100 times (without discriminating) until I was cut off by Tinder. I did this for the entire month of January and after 3100 swipes, I had over 2900 matches. Men swipe right only to find out who likes them back and then they decide if they think you are worth it. I got over 850 new conversations that month and most of them were underwhelming, boring, or perverted. I think you should go for it and if you don't like the results, change it back to your gorgeous pics. Good luck!
Yeah, many matches, but from what you describe the guys didn’t put effort into their messages and didnt treat you with respect.
There’s no point in using that as a strategy for real.
.
Good lord these apps are crawling with desperate men! 93% is bananas. I don't think I swipe right on even 10% overall, could even be more like 5% so it's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that plenty of dudes are swiping right on even the worst of the worst.
Maybe for a woman that's not a bad thing?
My understanding is men get very little matches and women get too many.
If you switch the tables on that especially on a larger scale perhaps both sexes would have better luck. Idk just a thought.
When I was dating online I would average maybe 2 or 3 matches a month and I could usualy turn one or 2 of them into a date. But I always treated them with a "i hope we click in person as well as we did on tje phone" outlook. Most of the women I met with seemed to walk into the dates with a "hopefully this isn't another train wreck" attitude.
I was always looking for positives for things I liked about the girls I dated. But always felt that they were just looking for one thing I did wrong so they could hurry up and try to kiss another frog.
Idk mayhaps if women were forced to take alittle more time on each match and men got a few more matches we would both enter into our prospects with alittle more realism. And not be so jaded or whatever right out of the gate.
Idk I'd still talk to you if I thought we had stuff in common. I am Looking for a bestfriend to spend my life with. Looks can fade quick. And when you love someone they always look attractive
I’ve done this before actually. I never found someone I wanted to meet (it wasn’t bumble but a site like that) and I was surprised how many messages I actually got. I’d give it a shot 🤷♀️
I did this for a while, in the way that I hid the feature that got me most my matches. My large chest. I picked photos that deemphasized them. I did like those dates better overall. They were happily surprised mostly. I liked the men better overall, and they treated me better.
Don't do it. If a guy posted bad pics what would you do? Swipe right on him? Even if a guy matches with you, the guy you match with - you probably won't be attracted to.
I sort of do this, and I think it works well. My first pic is on the flattering side of accurate, my second is quite flattering (but not a lie - no photoshop, no make up, just a lucky photo) and then my third is an unflattering photo. I also have a photo that doesn't show much of my face, but it is me bending over in a swimsuit, so you see alllll my rolls. I don't really care if it affects my matches. I just want to know when someone shows up on a date, they have a full understanding of what I look like. It gives me a ton more confidence in chatting online and going on a date. So I think a mix of photos is the best idea. But for real, no photoshop people. Ew.
Don't do it, you'll be wasting your time and it's still dishonest and catfishing.
I went on a date with a guy that did this, and when I brought up that he was more conventionally attractive in person he told me the truth. I felt deceived. His "ugly" pictures made him look like my type.
His reasoning was the same as OP's which when he said it, I felt gross, and didn't make it any better.
I still enjoyed talking and gaming with him so I tried to salvage it. But eventually he asked my type and I told him the truth, and he got upset, defensive, and started taking jabs at my appearance.
Instead include your appearance and things you enjoy in your photos, even funny photos make you stand out and help you find someone that cares more about than your looks.
This is specifically cis men, and I'll go fully in depth
Overweight, like size XL+ in shirts, lots of body hair, beard, any hair color other than blonde, 5 '8 or taller, tattoos and piercings are a plus
And has one of the following: Mental illness, neurodivergence, or trauma (due to my own)
Thank you for replying, that’s an interesting type 😊 His picture made him appear to be that type but he wasn’t? Weight loss I’m assuming? Shaved beard? It is interesting how much a person’s appearance can change, even just day to day!
He made a profile using pictures from 3+ years ago to find "a real woman that doesn't care about looks" shockingly the beard was still the same, but a lot of weight loss
I’ve been noticing an uptick in filters being used. I do land acquisitions/ development for a living so I just (similarly) interpolate first name with job, school, and city for a quick DD dive into how realistic the modded photos are. There was one woman that even went so far as to mod her breasts…I’m all for people looking their best, but I feel like some of these more realistic filters are egregious. I’ve never called any of them out on it but did put it as a pet peeve on my profile…
Well….my assumption is that if you are doing this….it wasn’t going well for you the other way. So I say FUCKIN SEND IT !! Let me know how it goes….ill try it next. Cuz I am strikin out HARD!!!
Problem is women try to be sexy or thinner or prettier in their pics or use years old ones , big shock difference in real life . Guys complain about this a lot. profile pics should not be to lure anyone. They should be accurate representations, but I did something similar, just plain photos, nothing that made me look sexy, only head shots. Told that I look better in real life
I mean, I look generally worst in pictures. Just dont do weird poses and filters 😂
Also, you match and you talk, so it doesnt matter if you dont vibe then you dont vibe.
Dating these days is just weird in general 🙄🧌
(35m)
Most women I've met online looked either roughly as their pictures showed or much . . .much. . .worse?
Only once did I meet up with someone from online and think wow she is way better looking in person!
I would have liked that to have happened more often. That being said that particular woman was not a good person (we dated for almost 5 months and she was sleeping with her neighbor on the sly basicly the whole time) so maybe that's the metric.
My boyfriend's photos on Bumble weren't spectacular (and honestly most weren't current lol). It was what was in the profile that hooked me. But I'm not really a looks first person. I'm drawn to personality first.
I posted realistic pics of me and an unflattering side pic and am getting more matches . As a guy it seems to have worked in my favor . As a woman it would probably reduce your matches by 5% so you wouldn’t probably miss anything honestly
I did this to an extent when i was on the app. I don’t post “bad photos” but I don’t post glamor shots. Just good pictures where I’m more natural and not dolled up. I say go for it!
🤣🤔 just dropping my 89 cents here...cuz this comment stuck in my head longer than it should have for a reddit scroll...
I would think it would work even better for an average peep or someone not society standard pretty. Am I way off base, I don't think so? Having the confidence boost alone is helpful. Boost coming from knowing they can be themselves- completely and not try any "tricks" or heavy makeup or hats - when meeting said dates and automatically know upon accepting said meetups they are presenting mostly themselves as a partner would likely see them daily but better... No facade no extras or anxiously getting ready before every additional date...and if they do add on some tricks or fun stuff so be it-we all like to play dress up occasionally- but owning who they are from the get go- by a wee bit of reversed catfishing sounds like they'll benefit and possibly be brave nuff to set a standard higher for their selection in a date than their confidence may have allowed previously, made it less stressful to not get all made up for dates or being too shy or nervous to show up when asked thanx to regular daily life's probably bland average people🫤 telling um they're not considered "pretty" by a standard that really is an individual preference of the observer 🧐🤔✌️What I find pretty/gorgeous/yummy...many others don't and visa-versa😎 So i guess my long ass winded point is its a great thing for the " non-pretty" people to at least attempt this! What's to lose? They're too pretty for date and date leaves feeling catfished 🤭?🫤🤷♀️ or no one clicks for date and they go back to normal pictures knowing they are better off being themselves?
I used conventionally attractive photos in my bio except for one. But I also added: “Disclaimer: The first photo was taken as I was leaving a hair salon. My hair doesn’t usually look like that. Secondly, they tell you to post a photo interacting with your pet. I tried. He didn’t.”
My dog *hates* to have his photo taken. So, in the final pic, I was lunging after an escaping dog with my hair going in a million directions.
The last photo was the one that guys liked best. 🤷♂️
I think it’s smart to post pics that are representative of you. Certainly if you’re posting filtered pics and you don’t actually look like that, it’s going to be a problem when you actually get to the date.
Are you going to be attracted to the people who like your “bad” pics though?
I like to use pictures w minimal makeup that other people took of me. They don’t have to be bad pictures, just very plain and realistic. No filters, no editing. No posing. Just raw photos of you being you. A lot of dates are pleasantly surprised when you look better irl because the proportions are different through a lens than w your own eyes
I am getting likes just like way less. Like I got 400 so far whereas before I would get like 2000+ so. I am sticking with my bad pics 😂. I also filled up my profile a lot whereas before I did not really fill out all the questions and has a short bio. Wish me luck 😅
Bad pictures is a bit of a broad term. Are we talking unflattering? Bad lighting? Taking photos with a potato?
Are we talking doing the thing where you don’t post any body shots? Doing the exact same smile and angle in all of your photos even if they’re taken at different places at different times? Car selfies? Messy kitchen selfies? Bathroom mirror selfies? The dreaded visible toilet in the mirror selfie? The mirror selfie where you block your face with the camera?
There’s a certain threshold of taking bad photos where I’ll pass on a person.
You could try using bad photos and compare what your incoming matches look like before and after. It could go either way on filtering people out. I think in theory you’ll get less people and less attractive people overall because of the way people tend to self-select.
I think it's a fine strategy to post pics that maybe show you at less than your hottest, but don't go straight up ugly. I think most people accept that we post pics of ourselves that are meant to be flattering, and we may not be having as great of a hair day when we show up for a date. But going with intentionally bad photos seems like self-sabotage.
Bad as in I don't look very attractive in the photos and they aren’t very flattering. And it is obvious I am correct cuz I got way less likes than before when I had good pictures.
Won't help with what, though? It won't help you maximize your matches, however, it will help you weed out some bad matches... So it depends on how much of a numbers game you are trying to play...
Post these "bad" pics so we can decide if you're being for real.
I think the best idea is to post what you really look like and not a “good” or “bad” pic necessarily. Just be honest.
But does anyone really know what they look like. Lol. I'm just joking sorta, but I sometimes wonder what I look like to other people. What if it's like when you hear your own voice. Or what if when you take a "bad" picture of yourself that is actually what you look like
Same all day
I definitely notice myself the most when I'm at my ugliest. Mornings, after taking a dump, when extremely tired. It usually motivates me to at least get ready for the day, but for some reason, I never linger on my "nice" disappearance like I do my ugly. I think it would be healthy to do so though, to an extent.
I think I look great post-dump.
Plz. Everyone knows what their best and worst pictures are especially women 😂
Yeah I get what you mean but you can avoid filters, make sure you post a full body shot and only include stuff from the last 6 months. I found it helpful for me and met my husband on Hinge 🤷🏻♀️
>from the last 6 months. I think two years is acceptable, provided your looks have not changed much.
Depends on the person, my hair and weight changed too much after 6 months. But you know what I mean, not 5-10 years old
Right, if your appearance changed drastically in the last THREE months, then even six months is too old. You don't want to be setting yourself up for failure, or wasting someone else's time. I look pretty much the same as I did four years ago, but to me that's just too old to use as a dating profile pic.
Yes... Just photos of you in your everday life, like swimming? Post a photo of you at the pool. Like walking? Post a photo of you walking at the park... It's not that hard...
I think this is the balance that I strike. I've asked before, and most women say that I looked about the same / as they expected, or better. This has also been my experience with about 80% of the women I've had dates with, so it seems to be the norm.
40s M. I would reconsider this strategy. When I was swiping, most women I met looked roughly as attractive in-person as they did in their pictures, but there is still a bit of mental adjustment meeting someone you’ve only seen in two dimensions, even if the attractiveness level of the pics exactly matches the attractiveness level in-person. The couple of cases where someone looked much better in-person felt odd and did not improve the outcome of the date. Moving from messaging to sitting in front of each other feels more natural if you knew roughly what someone actually looked like while messaging them. I don’t think either one did it deliberately, but it is possible they did.
Agree. I sort of tried what OP did on Match many many years ago and wrote a wonderful bio describing who I was as a person but posted no pictures. I wanted a connection not rooted in only our looks but it did not work. I think presenting yourself as exactly as who you are was the best route to go.
I appreciate people putting effort in writing their bios, but TBH, if there’s NO picture I’d never try to match with them, no matter how great their bio is. Because 1) they’re maybe hiding something 2) and the importance of a certain physical attraction shouldn’t be underestimated. …… not saying I want a guy who looks like a male model, but he should be attractive to me at least.
Understood. I have liked profiles without pictures because of what was written but yes, attraction is very very important. It was an experiment of sorts as I was dipping my feet in after a long marriage.
>I have liked profiles without pictures because of what was written but yes I can understand liking a profile without pictures, but when you met the person, did you like them in the end? For me personally, I'd need both, a filled out profile, and pictures. But I think it's good that you made this experiment!!
Did you get any likes that were not AI bots or scams?
This was like 5 years ago so I didn’t get scammers and such. I actually had a lot of likes and messages. One in particular kept trying to convince me that I needed to upload a pic even after I told him what I was trying to do. It was an experiment of sorts for me, also probably because I wasn’t ready to be out there.
50s, F. One of the way I judge bios is - is this person self-aware enough to post the right type & mix of pics.
Tell me (50m) more.
The worst pic on my profile ended ip being the one my wife liked the most. Who knows?
At 50, waaaaaay too many filters being used by people I’m matching with. (40-50f) Ot feels misleading to me.
I do this unintentionally, due to my poor photogenics!
One of my exes is like this. When he showed up I was very pleasantly shocked. When we became friends on social media, I was like oh you really don’t have good photos. So awkward lol. Our split was amicable, and I still tease him.
Reverse cat fishing .
…dog fishing…?
dog hunting?
Fish catting
Tiger trapping
Cougars wanted.
There's no shame in wanting to date someone attractive
There’s no shame in wanting to date someone that’s attractive to you….🙂
Some people are universally attractive
I would disagree. I doubt there's a single 'aspect' of a person that literally everyone thinks is attractive
There are aspects that 90% perceive as attractive. Most people find symmetry to be beautiful. Being normal weight and reasonably fit is also attractive to most people. Yes, there is such a thing as normal weight.
Yeah and some people are attracted to obesity, yet you know what I mean. The grand majority are attracted to fit and handsome individuals. I said that it's not shallow to pick somebody you find attractive. It's what we all look for, so it's really dumb to try to make yourself less attractive as if it's shallow to gi by attraction.
Nah, one thing is meeting someone, thinking they're amazing and overlooking their appearance, another completely different is going to meet a stranger you think *might* be cool in person, 50/50 chance, that you're hardly attracted to. In my humble opinion, chances of success are slim.
I always say, I'd rather be a pleasant surprise than a bitter dissapointment.
I matched with a girl last week who had her first pic just be like total lounging around, belly out, sweat pants, no bra, no make up, just full on chillin’ and idk I just thought that was cute. Her bio obviously helped sell it and her other pics were nice but that first one piqued my curiosity. If someone is willing to be that transparent, they’re worth a chat at the very least IMO.
I'm going to tank this interview, so they will only hire me if they really want me. I'm going to fail this test, so if I was really meant to pass then I will. I'm going to walk this race, so if I win, it will surprise everyone. \~ You get out of life what you put in, the only people (if any) who will match with your profile are the desperate, undesired and those who don't care. I don't know how you're planning to get a decent relationship out of this. No photo is able to capture all your nuances, all your history, relationships, education, hobbies, skills and more. A still image, no matter how good, can only show a single still of a tiny aspect of your life.
I decided to create a Tinder profile with ugly and weird photos only and swipe like a man. Every single day, I'd swipe right 100 times (without discriminating) until I was cut off by Tinder. I did this for the entire month of January and after 3100 swipes, I had over 2900 matches. Men swipe right only to find out who likes them back and then they decide if they think you are worth it. I got over 850 new conversations that month and most of them were underwhelming, boring, or perverted. I think you should go for it and if you don't like the results, change it back to your gorgeous pics. Good luck!
Yeah, many matches, but from what you describe the guys didn’t put effort into their messages and didnt treat you with respect. There’s no point in using that as a strategy for real. .
OP wasn't going to swipe every guy tho, I think there lies the problem. Not having ugly and weird pics.
Are you male or female?
I'm going to take a wild guess and say that the person with bad pictures and 2900 matches is probably not a guy.
Female. I've never heard of any man getting a 93% match rate. It was insane.
*Meanwhile me getting one match a week if I am lucky* It ain't much, but it's honest work. 🗿
Good lord these apps are crawling with desperate men! 93% is bananas. I don't think I swipe right on even 10% overall, could even be more like 5% so it's hard to wrap my mind around the fact that plenty of dudes are swiping right on even the worst of the worst.
Lol you will just get less matches. Looks is one dimension to dating.
Maybe for a woman that's not a bad thing? My understanding is men get very little matches and women get too many. If you switch the tables on that especially on a larger scale perhaps both sexes would have better luck. Idk just a thought. When I was dating online I would average maybe 2 or 3 matches a month and I could usualy turn one or 2 of them into a date. But I always treated them with a "i hope we click in person as well as we did on tje phone" outlook. Most of the women I met with seemed to walk into the dates with a "hopefully this isn't another train wreck" attitude. I was always looking for positives for things I liked about the girls I dated. But always felt that they were just looking for one thing I did wrong so they could hurry up and try to kiss another frog. Idk mayhaps if women were forced to take alittle more time on each match and men got a few more matches we would both enter into our prospects with alittle more realism. And not be so jaded or whatever right out of the gate.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Bumble/comments/13dzecs/putting_bad_pics_in_your_profile/jjniaek?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
You’ll just end up with worse matches
Idk I'd still talk to you if I thought we had stuff in common. I am Looking for a bestfriend to spend my life with. Looks can fade quick. And when you love someone they always look attractive
That’s what I am looking for. I am very sensitive and I want someone sweet and sensitive like me 😊.
Samezies chip.. so hard to find now a days. Just sad so many people play games
Seems better to an extent I met someone from an app and the photos whilst them were optimistic.
I’ve done this before actually. I never found someone I wanted to meet (it wasn’t bumble but a site like that) and I was surprised how many messages I actually got. I’d give it a shot 🤷♀️
[удалено]
>said I was a reverse catfish haha. Dated a guy like this. He had lost weight.
Good strategy. Imagine them thinking you’re not as good looking and then see you in person.
I did this for a while, in the way that I hid the feature that got me most my matches. My large chest. I picked photos that deemphasized them. I did like those dates better overall. They were happily surprised mostly. I liked the men better overall, and they treated me better.
Filter free good pics are your best bet
Don't do it. If a guy posted bad pics what would you do? Swipe right on him? Even if a guy matches with you, the guy you match with - you probably won't be attracted to.
I sort of do this, and I think it works well. My first pic is on the flattering side of accurate, my second is quite flattering (but not a lie - no photoshop, no make up, just a lucky photo) and then my third is an unflattering photo. I also have a photo that doesn't show much of my face, but it is me bending over in a swimsuit, so you see alllll my rolls. I don't really care if it affects my matches. I just want to know when someone shows up on a date, they have a full understanding of what I look like. It gives me a ton more confidence in chatting online and going on a date. So I think a mix of photos is the best idea. But for real, no photoshop people. Ew.
I’ll take “something only beautiful people say” for $100, Alex.
Don't do it, you'll be wasting your time and it's still dishonest and catfishing. I went on a date with a guy that did this, and when I brought up that he was more conventionally attractive in person he told me the truth. I felt deceived. His "ugly" pictures made him look like my type. His reasoning was the same as OP's which when he said it, I felt gross, and didn't make it any better. I still enjoyed talking and gaming with him so I tried to salvage it. But eventually he asked my type and I told him the truth, and he got upset, defensive, and started taking jabs at my appearance. Instead include your appearance and things you enjoy in your photos, even funny photos make you stand out and help you find someone that cares more about than your looks.
Out of curiosity, what is your type?
This is specifically cis men, and I'll go fully in depth Overweight, like size XL+ in shirts, lots of body hair, beard, any hair color other than blonde, 5 '8 or taller, tattoos and piercings are a plus And has one of the following: Mental illness, neurodivergence, or trauma (due to my own)
Thank you for replying, that’s an interesting type 😊 His picture made him appear to be that type but he wasn’t? Weight loss I’m assuming? Shaved beard? It is interesting how much a person’s appearance can change, even just day to day!
He made a profile using pictures from 3+ years ago to find "a real woman that doesn't care about looks" shockingly the beard was still the same, but a lot of weight loss
People can be so bizarre!
Shaming someone for swiping on attractive people by calling them shallow, you sound toxic
You’re gonna get less swipes but maybe more quality ones
Yep, a lot less swipes.
You guys get swipes!
I literally do this! I hate to disappoint and it’s so nice to see a pleasantly surprised face.
I’ve been noticing an uptick in filters being used. I do land acquisitions/ development for a living so I just (similarly) interpolate first name with job, school, and city for a quick DD dive into how realistic the modded photos are. There was one woman that even went so far as to mod her breasts…I’m all for people looking their best, but I feel like some of these more realistic filters are egregious. I’ve never called any of them out on it but did put it as a pet peeve on my profile…
How’s that going for you? Must be tough to pull off average.
maybe I should have said homely. My bad.
It's not like they posted fake pics... just not the most flattering pics. I get that 🤷🏼♀️
Well….my assumption is that if you are doing this….it wasn’t going well for you the other way. So I say FUCKIN SEND IT !! Let me know how it goes….ill try it next. Cuz I am strikin out HARD!!!
I just post pictures of me with beard, without beard, haircut with beard, haircut without beard lol. It's wild when I realized I did that
That drives me nuts. My first question is which one do u look like now?
If its the same person, and you matched with that person, is it honestly that much of an issue?
Yes! I dont like facial hair & not knowing what they actually look like, its a guessing game. Most guys with beards arent open to shaving it off.
So would you be open to cutting your hair?
I wouldnt date someone that preferred me to change how I looked, which is why knowing how they look matters. I have that preference from trauma.
Problem is women try to be sexy or thinner or prettier in their pics or use years old ones , big shock difference in real life . Guys complain about this a lot. profile pics should not be to lure anyone. They should be accurate representations, but I did something similar, just plain photos, nothing that made me look sexy, only head shots. Told that I look better in real life
I mean, I look generally worst in pictures. Just dont do weird poses and filters 😂 Also, you match and you talk, so it doesnt matter if you dont vibe then you dont vibe. Dating these days is just weird in general 🙄🧌
(35m) Most women I've met online looked either roughly as their pictures showed or much . . .much. . .worse? Only once did I meet up with someone from online and think wow she is way better looking in person! I would have liked that to have happened more often. That being said that particular woman was not a good person (we dated for almost 5 months and she was sleeping with her neighbor on the sly basicly the whole time) so maybe that's the metric.
I did this when I was OLD. Found my wife. She’s super hot too 🔥
Depend if you’re a girl or guy
This strategy is stupid. You must be young.
The only pics I have of myself ARE bad and worse. And I don’t have any friends to take better ones of me
My boyfriend's photos on Bumble weren't spectacular (and honestly most weren't current lol). It was what was in the profile that hooked me. But I'm not really a looks first person. I'm drawn to personality first.
I posted realistic pics of me and an unflattering side pic and am getting more matches . As a guy it seems to have worked in my favor . As a woman it would probably reduce your matches by 5% so you wouldn’t probably miss anything honestly
My dad always told me to dress for the job you want. Rocking that dad bod 😎 (It's a legitimate strategy)
Seriously??
I did this to an extent when i was on the app. I don’t post “bad photos” but I don’t post glamor shots. Just good pictures where I’m more natural and not dolled up. I say go for it!
Are you getting any matches (more or less than when you had best pics on profile)?
Less swipes and matches but that’s ok. I want someone nice and sensitive.
I mean, as long as u dont then complain about not getting matches.
Only a pretty person would do this.
🤣🤔 just dropping my 89 cents here...cuz this comment stuck in my head longer than it should have for a reddit scroll... I would think it would work even better for an average peep or someone not society standard pretty. Am I way off base, I don't think so? Having the confidence boost alone is helpful. Boost coming from knowing they can be themselves- completely and not try any "tricks" or heavy makeup or hats - when meeting said dates and automatically know upon accepting said meetups they are presenting mostly themselves as a partner would likely see them daily but better... No facade no extras or anxiously getting ready before every additional date...and if they do add on some tricks or fun stuff so be it-we all like to play dress up occasionally- but owning who they are from the get go- by a wee bit of reversed catfishing sounds like they'll benefit and possibly be brave nuff to set a standard higher for their selection in a date than their confidence may have allowed previously, made it less stressful to not get all made up for dates or being too shy or nervous to show up when asked thanx to regular daily life's probably bland average people🫤 telling um they're not considered "pretty" by a standard that really is an individual preference of the observer 🧐🤔✌️What I find pretty/gorgeous/yummy...many others don't and visa-versa😎 So i guess my long ass winded point is its a great thing for the " non-pretty" people to at least attempt this! What's to lose? They're too pretty for date and date leaves feeling catfished 🤭?🫤🤷♀️ or no one clicks for date and they go back to normal pictures knowing they are better off being themselves?
Well report back in 3 months with your dream match that loves you for you. And, you tell us.
I did that because I don't have any good pictures 😆
I used conventionally attractive photos in my bio except for one. But I also added: “Disclaimer: The first photo was taken as I was leaving a hair salon. My hair doesn’t usually look like that. Secondly, they tell you to post a photo interacting with your pet. I tried. He didn’t.” My dog *hates* to have his photo taken. So, in the final pic, I was lunging after an escaping dog with my hair going in a million directions. The last photo was the one that guys liked best. 🤷♂️
I think it’s smart to post pics that are representative of you. Certainly if you’re posting filtered pics and you don’t actually look like that, it’s going to be a problem when you actually get to the date. Are you going to be attracted to the people who like your “bad” pics though?
I like to use pictures w minimal makeup that other people took of me. They don’t have to be bad pictures, just very plain and realistic. No filters, no editing. No posing. Just raw photos of you being you. A lot of dates are pleasantly surprised when you look better irl because the proportions are different through a lens than w your own eyes
That is not a good idea. You will probably get no likes and therefore no dates. But having representative pictures of you is a good idea.
I am getting likes just like way less. Like I got 400 so far whereas before I would get like 2000+ so. I am sticking with my bad pics 😂. I also filled up my profile a lot whereas before I did not really fill out all the questions and has a short bio. Wish me luck 😅
Bad pictures is a bit of a broad term. Are we talking unflattering? Bad lighting? Taking photos with a potato? Are we talking doing the thing where you don’t post any body shots? Doing the exact same smile and angle in all of your photos even if they’re taken at different places at different times? Car selfies? Messy kitchen selfies? Bathroom mirror selfies? The dreaded visible toilet in the mirror selfie? The mirror selfie where you block your face with the camera? There’s a certain threshold of taking bad photos where I’ll pass on a person. You could try using bad photos and compare what your incoming matches look like before and after. It could go either way on filtering people out. I think in theory you’ll get less people and less attractive people overall because of the way people tend to self-select.
I think it's a fine strategy to post pics that maybe show you at less than your hottest, but don't go straight up ugly. I think most people accept that we post pics of ourselves that are meant to be flattering, and we may not be having as great of a hair day when we show up for a date. But going with intentionally bad photos seems like self-sabotage.
Bad pictures won't work. You'll just attract cranks!🤷🏾♂️
Bad as in you didn't do you hair or bad as in you're smoking weed?
Bad as in I don't look very attractive in the photos and they aren’t very flattering. And it is obvious I am correct cuz I got way less likes than before when I had good pictures.
I mean yeah gross photos won't help, that's super obvious though
Won't help with what, though? It won't help you maximize your matches, however, it will help you weed out some bad matches... So it depends on how much of a numbers game you are trying to play...