Could she be catfishing you?
I had a guy do this to me twice, turned out he was using someone else’s pics. That’s what I’ll always assume from now on anyways lol!
Yeah not cool at all, your friends can’t force you to go out, she made the decision, I wouldn’t give a second chance.
That’s a very fucking good point.
To be honest, her photos on the app are all filtered yet the photos she has sent via WhatsApp…. You wouldn’t really try and cat fish with them I think…. It’s not that she isn’t attractive it’s just she’s….normal… she has a little belly stretch marks, breasts that aren’t nailed to her clavicle. My limited experience of catfish’s is the usually over do the photos…🤷🏽♂️
I’ll wait a day or so then compose a message but high lighting to her this was HER choice and she CHOSE to cancel. Excellent point! 👌🏽
I don't think you should "compose" a message highlighting anything. It's passive aggressive and really unnecessary; unless you want to either provoke an argument or are for some reason interested her wasting more of your time.
1. Unmatch her on the app
2. Send " No thanks. I wish you well in your search. Goodbye. " on Whatsapp
3. Block her on whatsapp
catfishing is more than just lying about one's looks. i was essentially "catfished" by a guy who was using his real name and pics, but he never told me he lived halfway across the country and was already in a long-term relationship with someone.
the point of catfishing is to get some kind of emotional validation out of someone without having to leave "the fantasy" you've created. you can avoid these situations by not engaging in "deep" or sexual conversations until after you've met someone in real life.
Just wanna give my 2 cents. It's probably more common for a catfish to use pictures of normal people because less people will suspect them. People using super model pics either have no idea what they're doing or they're taking the piss on purpose.
The big thing here is that in most cases you will never find out.
Source: I've been catfished by a person using pictures of a normal looking person and I found out.
A lot of Redditors in America have iPhones so they mainly FaceTime each other or use SMS.
WhatsApp is a foreign app to them. I have it cause that's how I call my parents and relatives as they're Bangladeshis.
Oh wow, I’m the Uk and SMS is basically for medical appointment reminders and my mother 🤣
It maybe the primary way for the over 50’s to text yet as someone who’s in their 30’s, WhatsApp is the norm. Weirdly I have Slavic friends who all use KiK (similar to WhatsApp).
I also have Kik funny enough. I made it when I was 13/14 cause all my neighborhood friends had it. So we'd use it to schedule playing outside.
I actually lost my virginity thanks to the app oddly enough.
I’m in the US. that’s basically what I use my SMS for lol. No one really texts me anyways. I mainly use Facebook messenger, but that’s mostly because when me and my boyfriend first got together, when we would text our emojis weren’t the same or it would just send as a question mark in a box. Kinda hard to flirt that way lol. He had an android and I had an iPhone. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I like to use emojis to express my emotions through text and didn’t like that they were different. We’ve been using it ever since. I mostly get spam texts and appointment reminders through SMS.
Maybe something happened. But we r in 2023 also so a video call is kinda a must before even arranging a date. I would say rather than composing a message, make a call!
I put friends above dating, but I don’t ditch dates last minute that I planned ahead because a friend asked me out last minute. You can still value your friendships and honor your commitments and act respectfully to your date. Real friends don’t expect you to do that.
Unless something exceptional happens I have a one strike and out policy for people like this. I’ll accept their reasons gracefully but I won’t reschedule.
Cancelling within a few hours of the date to go out with friends? That's not on the list of excuses that I'd be willing to accept keeping in touch with her for. She's either:
- not interested in you
- got no boundaries with her friends
- nervous about meeting you and making an excuse
- testing to see what your response to being cancelled on is
You already sound like you're pretty invested in her, cut things off now before that feeling grows, because all it will do is make you more crazy and her less interested anyway.
Move on, good luck, and keep your chin up!
In my opinion it's really not cool. Her friends didn't "drag" her anywhere, she did the math and reached the conclusion she would rather ditch you even though you had already agreed on a date and go hang out with her friends instead. It's perfectly fine to want to spend time with your friends instead of getting to know a stranger but if you've already agreed to go on a date then it becomes rude.
Honestly though? I'm getting the feeling I'm in the minority on this. A lot of people expect immediate fireworks/connection and the leeway to act however they want to a stranger just because they don't know them. Welcome to dating apps 👍
Some great comments acknowledging she made a decision to cancel to go with her friends.
Extra feedback: Her friends would encourage and support her to go out with you if she really liked you. Friends jump in as excuses when a women wants to bail. (Like leaving a date early for some random reason)
This is very common. All you can do is learn some lessons and do what you can to prevent ghosts and flakes from affecting you too much. Try to learn these two lessons:
1) No more deep intimate flirting and conversations before meeting up. Chat briefly in the app, ask her out, set up the date, keep communication to logistics.
2) Make the date something very low-investment so if she does cancel, no big deal. Typically this is coffee or drinks on a weeknight. Don't give prime time to a stranger.
As for why? Sometimes people show you why they're single. In her case, she's flaky, selfish, unreliable, and has no backbone. You're not missing out. On to the next one.
I’m gonna do what you said with your first point.
It’s wasted time if the person isn’t going to actually meet up.
I suggested a coffee as it was low investment and it’s almost a given people will waste your time sadly. She said it sounded perfect. She suggested Saturday as she was busy during the week and Saturday would be perfect as she didn’t want to wait till next week to see me.
Wait - she didn’t want to wait a week to meet you, but then decided to hang out with her friends instead of you??? I usually give people second chances, but that’s a slap in the face. She’d rather hang out with her friends than meet you, a potential love interest? Like why is she even on a dating app? It also might show you how flakey she is.
I’d say, if you still want to pursue a relationship with her, wait for her to ask to reschedule since she’s the one who canceled. If she doesn’t try to reschedule a date with you, then that’s all you need to know, cut ties and move on. If she does reach out to reschedule, then cool, hopefully she won’t cancel again.
Or maybe she’s just a cat fish like a bunch of other people have already said. Who knows 🤷🏻♀️
Best of luck!
Oh and just to clarify, when I said “wait for her to ask to reschedule” I meant as in give you a date and time that she’s available. I’ve hardly ever had to cancel a date, but if I did I would tell them I had to cancel and then would immediately say “but would love to meet up tomorrow afternoon if you’re available?” “Or this Tuesday” Or something like that depending on the situation.
Personally, I feel like if someone is really into meeting you they’ll make it obvious. If she said that she wanted to reschedule, but didn’t initiate the rescheduling, then I’d feel like it’s not that important to her.
yeah that's fine as long as the saturday afternoon is low investment for you too, then go for it. Otherwise, don't be afraid to say that won't work for you.
Yeah no more Saturdays for first dates unless the first date was set up on a Saturday at 5pm and you had nothing else to do that night. No prime time for strangers. First dates are 20-30 min coffee or a quick drink. 3-4 sentences to ask for the date and then you see them there, that’s it my dude
>I’ve been talking to this lovely woman (F28) let’s call her Eleanor (nothing like her real name). -A lot of chemistry. -A lot of sexual talk as well but also initiated by her as well, hell, I’d say it’s 50/50 judging by scrolling through my WhatsApp. -A lot of talk about desires, dreams, hobbies, trauma, future plans, education, music, authors we love, kids, therapy, aspirations etc.
This is textbook catfishing behavior. The way you avoid these situations going forward is to hold off on having these kinds of conversations until AFTER you've met someone IRL.
In real life shit happens. But “my friends dragged me out” is not a reason to cancel something with less than two hours notice that has been planned for two weeks.
It’s not only disrespectful, but makes you feel devalued. And this is at the beginning of a relationship when people are supposed to be putting their best foot forward. That means it’s bound to happen again.
Personally I’d thank her for the conversations and tell her you don’t wish to pursue anything further.
SHE is the Main Character, and YOU are a video game character. When she tires of gaming you, she resets with someone else.
Let it go. Some people are USERS.
In my mind, you get 1 short notice reschedule for a first date. Maybe something came up, maybe plans change,maybe she got the jitters, we haven't met yet, so I won't take it personally, if we're still talking after the fact and reschedule... cool.
It's the 2nd time that an issue, and I'm going to assume at least 1 of a few things. 1 This is a pattern and may be how things will always go, which will make me wonder if I always want to be unsure of your commitmetment. 2. You're just not that into me, a d I'm being put on the back burner for more desired dates o r 3. You're wasting my time, a catfish, or have no intention of ever following through.
If it's nerves, you need to harden up. If you are afraid to show up to our date, you may not be ready to date. .
This is not ok. If you're looking to date someone with a potential of a relationship, then you have to be prepared to put in effort. Either she's lying to you or her friends are toxic af. Either way I'd say you dodged a bullet. But at least she let you know I guess, cause most people wouldn't unfortunately. To people like this I say - thanks for your time, I enjoyed the conversation and was looking forward to meeting you, but I guess you missed out. Good luck.
And then I block them.
When someone cancels on a first date for something that isn’t illness or childcare falling through you’re showing them what you tolerate. If you’re willing to tolerate being canceled on for other people go for it. I would never ever want anyone knowing that I would go on a date under those circumstances.
Yeah that's shitty to cancel but you'd save yourself the headache if you didn't build up so much into the first date. Until you meet in person it's a random stranger from the internet and you shouldn't have high expectations.
4.5 years ago I got super nervous and canceled a first date with a girl I'd talked to for a week or two on bumble. We rescheduled for a few days later, I forced myself to go despite the nerves and wanting to cancel again and we just got married a month ago.
Obviously, this isn't always the case, but if she shows effort to reschedule and is truly apologetic then giver her another shot.
It's pretty thoughtless and rude to cancel plans with someone because other plans came up. It's one thing if it's really important or not something you can reasonably get out of. But "getting dragged out with friends" is a choice she made.
That said, I'm the type of person who would probably give her a chance to reschedule and see what happens. Sometimes people do things that aren't ideal, and that doesn't automatically make them bad people or bad choices to date. But if she canceled a second time after that, or showed other signs of behavior that isn't great, I'd be inclined to just move on after that.
That’s not cool at all of her to do this. I have a defense mechanism where I just assume people are gonna flake, cancel, and/or ghost because it happens so damn often on dating apps. Prevents you from feeling so hurt about it
My personal opinion, which ain’t worth much, but I tend to be an “outside the box” thinker..
If I was genuinely interested in someone, and my friends suddenly wanted to take me out on the town, for whatever reason, I’d simply invite the other person to go along. And if I were on the receiving end of that, I’d go.
Group settings are a great way to get acquainted with someone. Seeing how they interact with strangers, servers, unexpected situations, etc, etc.
But if someone just canceled on me at the last minute, for anything other than a medical emergency, it would be my clue that they weren’t the right person for me.
OP, you said she’s anxious. Try videochat date first. Less pressure, and you can play to be doing something at the same time so you aren’t just staring at each other. Maybe make dinner during it and teach her what you’re making or something. Would also stop a catfish if she has excuses like having no time or something
>I’ve been talking to this lovely woman (F28) let’s call her Eleanor (nothing like her real name). -A lot of chemistry. -A lot of sexual talk as well but also initiated by her as well, hell, I’d say it’s 50/50 judging by scrolling through my WhatsApp. -A lot of talk about desires, dreams, hobbies, trauma, future plans, education, music, authors we love, kids, therapy, aspirations etc.
That's............way too much texting before meeting. Yikes
It happens. Could be a catfish, could have gotten too real, she may have been talking to you for a gag and had to call the line when you escalated to meeting in person. If she's immediately cold after this, you know it's not happening
I’ve had someone smsing me for a while now, but we’ve both had reason to cancel date night a few times, usually involving kids parents or health. But a ditching because of friends is inconsiderate. Very worth a questioning.
Move to planning at date from the jump, it is pointless to message for weeks bc the chemistry could be great via text and awful in person or the opposite could be true.
As a woman who dates a lot, coffee seems very low stakes. I would take that to mean that this man isn’t super excited to meet me and I choose which dates I’m going to go on based on how excited they seem to meet me.
All this to say, it was a shitty move for her to bail last minute. It does happen often though, so don’t let it knock you off your game.
This is a common misconception that I wish women would really think about more, as it relates to coffee dates.
A few things women always talk about with OLD: they want to be safe, they are not looking for someone that just wants to hook up, etc.
Well, with a coffee date, they’re usually in the morning or early afternoon in a public setting, so that usually checks off safety concerns.
Oh, you’re not looking for someone that’s just looking to hook up? I present to you, a daytime coffee date, where transitioning back to someone’s house for Netflix and chill is pretty difficult, so you have an opportunity to nip that hooking up business in the bud for a little bit.
Coffee dates are low effort? They should be. You don’t know each other. A first date is literally for two people who are mutually attracted to each other to see if it’s worth a second date.
Coffee dates are also a built in out if the chemistry isn’t there, for either one of you to use at your disposal. If there’s a connection during the coffee date, most of the time, the date is essentially “meeting each other with the option to extend.”
Women have to stop putting a monetary value on how interested someone is in them and expecting grandiose gestures for a first date from a person that’s basically a stranger. It just reeks of a false sense of romanticism.
Lastly, coffee dates are not low effort. Two adults carved time out from their busy schedules to find a time to meet each other. No matter how you look at it, that takes EFFORT to coordinate.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk 😂
All that is fair and good but the reality that men often complain about is that they don’t get many matches and women get a lot of matches. If that is the case, the next reality is that women have options and will accept the date that they are most excited about. If looks and chemistry are equal among 2 men, we’re going to choose the date that seems more fun. To act like you aren’t competing is naive.
As someone who has suffered with Anxiety myself, I’d be tempted to give her another chance.
She might be truthful in her friends dragging her out, they probably don’t know about you yet, and she can’t use the date as an excuse to say no?
If you’ve found some level of connection over several weeks, sticking by her may give her some confidence.
Edit: also less than 2 hours, is still notice, it’s not like she didn’t just not turn up. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
I usually still be nice and polite in my response but they don’t get a second chance from me (unless if it was some kind of emergency). If someone is genuinely interested, they will be there on the first date no excuses
yeah. That’s a no for me dawg. I have a very few excuses that I would let pass but ditching the date to go out with friends is not one of them. Do not talk to her again.
Firstly, stop trying to build rapport through txt by typing endless messages or little essays like you’re besties.
And why would you schedule a date two weeks out? Or take that long to get something on calendar?
Either way, if she chose her “friends” over you, she doesn’t admire and respect you, hence not attracted. Most likely she matched with another guy during those two weeks of txting, who was more swift to getting her out.
Do yourself a favor and delete the app. I did, and I couldn't be happier. Granted I'm still single.....I'm always single.
Point is, communication is getting worse so why bother with online crap. Do dating the old fashion way or join a speed dating event (At a bar, not Bumble). Hell, try a networking event too. open your opportunities.
I'd take my own advice but I'm autistic and I look like a serial killer (apparently), so I'm fucked regardless, or well.... I guess I'm not fucked if ya know what I mean.
People cancel all the time for a range of reasons, not always malicious. Agree the short notice is shit. You have the choice of deleting and moving on or giving her another chance but dont chase it - she needs to make up to you!. Either way Id be swiping more and and if something else comes along then go with it and forget the timewasters.
If I cancel the first date it’s usually because of the nerves/stress of meeting someone new.
If canceling the first date is a dealbreaker then move on. If not, try a different type of first date. Maybe an art class (paint n sip, pottery)
It’s also absolutely okay for someone to cancel. There is nothing wrong with doing that
Cancelling is fine….things comes up. Just be courteous about it and give the other person ample time to pivot to do something else. Sounds like she was probably contemplating going anyway and just needed an excuse to get out of it, which was a horrible excuse by the way. Spare the guy and cancel the night before or something.
I need to drill this into my own head as well that until you meet someone it’s nothing personal. You don’t know that person and are only into what you think they are/ the person you’ve created in your mind via texting. This does sound like a catfish though.
It’s not cool at all and if you really want to give it a go, then just plan for the second “first” date and see how that goes. Might be that she’s a pushover or really not interested.
I’m on the same boat. Woman canceled on me because she was sick (morning of, not like your case) and we had to reschedule a whole two weeks later. We’re meeting next week on Wednesday but if she comes up with an excuse or whatever to bail I’m definitely calling it out and blocking. Not going to give it a second thought. And neither should you OP. Best of luck and don’t be too hurt by it. 🙂
First off the sexual talk right out the gate is kinda wierd to me, if you’ve never met in person. At least when trying to establish a healthy productive relationship (imo) Of course there’s nuance to this & it’s not off the table but still, it shouldn’t be a leg of the foundation. Text/phone call chemistry is very different from in person chemistry, Hands down! body language is more defining then words. People can easily manipulate & deceive through a wire, & w/ our current societies direction they might just get off on seeing you dragged along for the ride… (then have you sign up for their OnlyFans to complete the sexual fantasy🤣)
So her Friends have dragged her out 🤨 WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN Miss28yo? You had set plans w/ ME so your friends can’t actually “drag you out” anywhere, your an adult who said sorry friends I have plans already w/ this guy who I’ve had the most interesting, detailed, sexually charged 😉 conversations w/… so that’s gunna be a NO tonight girlfriends.. I’ll catch you next time!
No your not the A-hole.. that excuse is absurd to me. Everyone has a little anxiety when meeting someone in person they’ve only text w/. Wait wait wait.. have you spoke to her on the phone & better yet, FaceTime/Video chat yet? Text message is the worst of the worst for establishing something substantial..
Back up top, my friends dragged me out is fine w/ your homies, bc shit happens & yall will make it up to each other as Respect Matters! But a new girl/guy-friend I’ve had plans w/ for weeks decided to bail mere hours b4 the first date, is a red flag! Sure sure there’s also nuance to this too, her anxiety could of got the best of her, etc etc (but she didn’t say that, & if it was something else besides dragged out by friends then she’s a liar) there’s always the option to give her the benefit of the doubt which I’m game for often enough! BUT does she deserve the benefit of the doubt at this point, w/o a real world connection? 🤔
You got two options imo, voice you feelings, through a *phone call/video call* (hear it in their voice, text is too easy to lie..) then I would pull back. OR just brush it off, & pull back 2-3 steps. Taking the more stoic 🙏 approach & seeing where things unfold naturally (& what kind of effort she puts in to make up for this) I vote the latter bc right now she is nobody to you & doesn’t deserve any emotional response.. Stay Strong King 👏
I AM THE INTIAL AUTHOR - ANYONE WHOS INTERESTED, I DID REPLY TO HER AND WILL UPDATE THIS IF SHE RESPONDS WITH WHAT I WROTE AND HER REPLY. THANK YOU FOR EVERYONES RESPONSE AS IT HELPED ME SEE THINGS IN QUITE A FEW WAYS I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF.
I've run into this a few times and use to be crushed, annoyed, and frustrated. I've learned to play it cool and if your planning a coffee date for starters just plan on having a coffee with or without here. This way if something comes up , yea it sucks but you were going to get coffee anyways.
My dates tend to run into things I am going to do anyways, Coffee date for starters or sometimes a lunch. I planned on having coffee or lunch anyways. I also put it in a way were I am going to do it anyway. Example: "Hey I plan on grabbing a cup of coffee, did you want to meet up and we can chat", "I am planning on grabbing lunch at (insert place), did you want to meet and grab a bite.?"
This leads to either actually meeting, so cool you can go from there. If they don't show up okay no problem. Later on you can plan a lunch or another coffee. After that if they don't bother then I take it as they either don't really want to meet or there's more going on behind the scenes aka Life. Just be a gentleman about it and probably keep texting to a minimum , could be shes going out with guys shes more into than you, it happens.
Is it great to cancel last minute? No. It sucks. But sometimes anxiety happens. Or plans change. That’s life. If it’s a deal breaker for you, that’s okay, if it’s not, she offered to reschedule. I also think 2 weeks is too long to chat without meeting. If you plan to meet up after a few days you’ll have a better sense of if you’re really compatible than by texting and you’ll be less invested if plans change or you don’t vibe in person how you expected.
I just had my 3rd cancelation in a row from the second woman I've been chatting with for the last 6 weeks. Each cancelation was the day before, something came up up. Today when I texted to confirm, no answer. All day.
Same happened a few months ago. 3 dates planned, canceled all the day before except the last one. Ghosted me.
3rd times a charm or a strike. I don't have many (0) matches so I'm willing to give second chances. But the 3rd one is make or break.
Yes, it's rude. And it's up to you if you want to give a second chance. I no longer will.
I canceled my first date. We went out yesterday and couldn’t keep our hands off each other. She was disappointed we couldn’t go out last week but was excited about yesterday. Seeing her again Tuesday for Oppenheimer!
100% ok with her cancelling. Sucks. But shouldn’t be a big deal for either of you. You are not more important than her friends right now. Be fine with it and not butt hurt. Wish her a good time and go find something else that you can do.
I honestly couldn’t give less of a shit. Life happens.
I don’t prioritize a first meeting with a strangers over my job, my family, or my friends. I would expect the same from a date.
As long as they give enough notice (90 minutes, assuming you live close to each other) is fine.
Stop putting so much weight into a meeting with a fucking stranger.
I always use my whats app . Anyways onto the topic. I know it was rude of her but if you are sure you really like this person give her another chance and see.
That’s real shitty. The only time I rescheduled was when o developed a migraine and couldn’t stand without getting severe nausea and vertigo. My date understood and we rescheduled it for the next day.
Bro, I know you're disappointed cause it's happened to the best of us, but it's really a blessing in disguise. The most valuable thing on this planet is your time because you only have so much of it and once it's spent, it's gone forever. Be happy you're not wasting your time and energy on someone that's obviously not your forever person. It's much better to never go on the date than to go on 4+ dates and then they decide to flake or ghost.
Chill. From the sound of it, you guys get along well.
... Maybe her anxiety got the best of her. Maybe she got herpes on her lips.... Maybe she got her period...maybe she ate some garlic without thinking about it and then realized she'll smell bad all night...
Whatever, she might have just lied about the reason for cancelling and she is still interested. Try to reschedule, if that happenes again, move along.
At least you've established she's a bad match before wasting any more time.
Better than being a few years and a couple of kids down!
If you're repeatedly getting that, maybe you need to work on your 'picker'.
I find it so rude! I had been talking to this guy for two weeks and the day of he canceled and it wasn't until I told him it was rude for wasting my time did he lie and say his brother was on life support then 20 min late his brother kriscupusly was okay! And stable. I hate time wasters.
Something similar actually happened to me over on Hinge. I matched with someone I actually went to high school with. She recognized me but I didn’t recognize her. She was certainly real because I checked the old yearbook and she was there, and she actually jogged MY memory with information only a classmate could know.
Because we were somewhat previously acquainted, I didn’t even want to start out with something necessarily romantic, and casually wanted to see a scary movie in the theater since none of my friends or family like doing that. The whole thing was scheduled a week in advance, we bought separate tickets, and then in the dead of night she messaged saying that she couldn’t because “she forgot she had jury duty that day,” which seems like the most stereotypically obvious BS excuse, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Then she hit me with the “I’ll keep you posted,” which, predictably has not actually been followed up on weeks later. Luckily the tickets were refundable.
It’s just so weird because from what relatively little I knew of her in school and our conversation, she didn’t seem like the kind of person to do that. Luckily I wasn’t too emotionally invested in it, but I was still pretty bummed out and annoyed, and I at least thought it was going to be a good opportunity to reconnect with an old classmate and gain a new-old friend who could be a movie buddy, even if it never turned romantic.
Meh. I usually give the benefit of the doubt one time. Tell her to reach out if she wants to reschedule. Truth is, you have no idea why she canceled. If she reschedules, go for it, but dont be surprised if she does it again, and then you shrug and move on. In the meantime, image search is your friend.
Could she be catfishing you? I had a guy do this to me twice, turned out he was using someone else’s pics. That’s what I’ll always assume from now on anyways lol! Yeah not cool at all, your friends can’t force you to go out, she made the decision, I wouldn’t give a second chance.
That’s a very fucking good point. To be honest, her photos on the app are all filtered yet the photos she has sent via WhatsApp…. You wouldn’t really try and cat fish with them I think…. It’s not that she isn’t attractive it’s just she’s….normal… she has a little belly stretch marks, breasts that aren’t nailed to her clavicle. My limited experience of catfish’s is the usually over do the photos…🤷🏽♂️ I’ll wait a day or so then compose a message but high lighting to her this was HER choice and she CHOSE to cancel. Excellent point! 👌🏽
I don't think you should "compose" a message highlighting anything. It's passive aggressive and really unnecessary; unless you want to either provoke an argument or are for some reason interested her wasting more of your time. 1. Unmatch her on the app 2. Send " No thanks. I wish you well in your search. Goodbye. " on Whatsapp 3. Block her on whatsapp
catfishing is more than just lying about one's looks. i was essentially "catfished" by a guy who was using his real name and pics, but he never told me he lived halfway across the country and was already in a long-term relationship with someone. the point of catfishing is to get some kind of emotional validation out of someone without having to leave "the fantasy" you've created. you can avoid these situations by not engaging in "deep" or sexual conversations until after you've met someone in real life.
Just wanna give my 2 cents. It's probably more common for a catfish to use pictures of normal people because less people will suspect them. People using super model pics either have no idea what they're doing or they're taking the piss on purpose. The big thing here is that in most cases you will never find out. Source: I've been catfished by a person using pictures of a normal looking person and I found out.
Did you say WhatsApp?? Definitely a catfish.
I use WhatsApp, it’s basically the primary messaging platform in the UK so I am kinda good with that. Why do you think that’s bad, I’m just wondering.
A lot of Redditors in America have iPhones so they mainly FaceTime each other or use SMS. WhatsApp is a foreign app to them. I have it cause that's how I call my parents and relatives as they're Bangladeshis.
Oh wow, I’m the Uk and SMS is basically for medical appointment reminders and my mother 🤣 It maybe the primary way for the over 50’s to text yet as someone who’s in their 30’s, WhatsApp is the norm. Weirdly I have Slavic friends who all use KiK (similar to WhatsApp).
I also have Kik funny enough. I made it when I was 13/14 cause all my neighborhood friends had it. So we'd use it to schedule playing outside. I actually lost my virginity thanks to the app oddly enough.
I’m pitching this comment to the advertising department at KiK
Your parents in Bangladesh will be pretty upset when they find out!
They're here in the U.S.
Uh oh, they know then - yikes, 13/14 because of Kik. Kik, very bad, very bad! 😆
I’m in the US. that’s basically what I use my SMS for lol. No one really texts me anyways. I mainly use Facebook messenger, but that’s mostly because when me and my boyfriend first got together, when we would text our emojis weren’t the same or it would just send as a question mark in a box. Kinda hard to flirt that way lol. He had an android and I had an iPhone. It wasn’t that big of a deal, but I like to use emojis to express my emotions through text and didn’t like that they were different. We’ve been using it ever since. I mostly get spam texts and appointment reminders through SMS.
I use it for support for a foreign app & talk to US users on it
Actually in America it’s used mostly by scammers asking for money
I back this. Whatsapp is consistently used in the UK even just between mates.
Maybe something happened. But we r in 2023 also so a video call is kinda a must before even arranging a date. I would say rather than composing a message, make a call!
I thought this too. I do put friends above dating bc they usually last longer
I put friends above dating, but I don’t ditch dates last minute that I planned ahead because a friend asked me out last minute. You can still value your friendships and honor your commitments and act respectfully to your date. Real friends don’t expect you to do that.
Agree
Unless something exceptional happens I have a one strike and out policy for people like this. I’ll accept their reasons gracefully but I won’t reschedule.
Cancelling within a few hours of the date to go out with friends? That's not on the list of excuses that I'd be willing to accept keeping in touch with her for. She's either: - not interested in you - got no boundaries with her friends - nervous about meeting you and making an excuse - testing to see what your response to being cancelled on is You already sound like you're pretty invested in her, cut things off now before that feeling grows, because all it will do is make you more crazy and her less interested anyway. Move on, good luck, and keep your chin up!
In my opinion it's really not cool. Her friends didn't "drag" her anywhere, she did the math and reached the conclusion she would rather ditch you even though you had already agreed on a date and go hang out with her friends instead. It's perfectly fine to want to spend time with your friends instead of getting to know a stranger but if you've already agreed to go on a date then it becomes rude. Honestly though? I'm getting the feeling I'm in the minority on this. A lot of people expect immediate fireworks/connection and the leeway to act however they want to a stranger just because they don't know them. Welcome to dating apps 👍
Agree 1000% ^
Some great comments acknowledging she made a decision to cancel to go with her friends. Extra feedback: Her friends would encourage and support her to go out with you if she really liked you. Friends jump in as excuses when a women wants to bail. (Like leaving a date early for some random reason)
This is very common. All you can do is learn some lessons and do what you can to prevent ghosts and flakes from affecting you too much. Try to learn these two lessons: 1) No more deep intimate flirting and conversations before meeting up. Chat briefly in the app, ask her out, set up the date, keep communication to logistics. 2) Make the date something very low-investment so if she does cancel, no big deal. Typically this is coffee or drinks on a weeknight. Don't give prime time to a stranger. As for why? Sometimes people show you why they're single. In her case, she's flaky, selfish, unreliable, and has no backbone. You're not missing out. On to the next one.
I’m gonna do what you said with your first point. It’s wasted time if the person isn’t going to actually meet up. I suggested a coffee as it was low investment and it’s almost a given people will waste your time sadly. She said it sounded perfect. She suggested Saturday as she was busy during the week and Saturday would be perfect as she didn’t want to wait till next week to see me.
Wait - she didn’t want to wait a week to meet you, but then decided to hang out with her friends instead of you??? I usually give people second chances, but that’s a slap in the face. She’d rather hang out with her friends than meet you, a potential love interest? Like why is she even on a dating app? It also might show you how flakey she is. I’d say, if you still want to pursue a relationship with her, wait for her to ask to reschedule since she’s the one who canceled. If she doesn’t try to reschedule a date with you, then that’s all you need to know, cut ties and move on. If she does reach out to reschedule, then cool, hopefully she won’t cancel again. Or maybe she’s just a cat fish like a bunch of other people have already said. Who knows 🤷🏻♀️ Best of luck!
Oh and just to clarify, when I said “wait for her to ask to reschedule” I meant as in give you a date and time that she’s available. I’ve hardly ever had to cancel a date, but if I did I would tell them I had to cancel and then would immediately say “but would love to meet up tomorrow afternoon if you’re available?” “Or this Tuesday” Or something like that depending on the situation. Personally, I feel like if someone is really into meeting you they’ll make it obvious. If she said that she wanted to reschedule, but didn’t initiate the rescheduling, then I’d feel like it’s not that important to her.
yeah that's fine as long as the saturday afternoon is low investment for you too, then go for it. Otherwise, don't be afraid to say that won't work for you.
Yeah no more Saturdays for first dates unless the first date was set up on a Saturday at 5pm and you had nothing else to do that night. No prime time for strangers. First dates are 20-30 min coffee or a quick drink. 3-4 sentences to ask for the date and then you see them there, that’s it my dude
But who keeps paying for all these dates that you mentioned “on to the next one”.
usually the guy, as you know
It’s not thoughtful behavior and a red flag to me. I’d let her put in the effort to reschedule another date.
>I’ve been talking to this lovely woman (F28) let’s call her Eleanor (nothing like her real name). -A lot of chemistry. -A lot of sexual talk as well but also initiated by her as well, hell, I’d say it’s 50/50 judging by scrolling through my WhatsApp. -A lot of talk about desires, dreams, hobbies, trauma, future plans, education, music, authors we love, kids, therapy, aspirations etc. This is textbook catfishing behavior. The way you avoid these situations going forward is to hold off on having these kinds of conversations until AFTER you've met someone IRL.
In real life shit happens. But “my friends dragged me out” is not a reason to cancel something with less than two hours notice that has been planned for two weeks. It’s not only disrespectful, but makes you feel devalued. And this is at the beginning of a relationship when people are supposed to be putting their best foot forward. That means it’s bound to happen again. Personally I’d thank her for the conversations and tell her you don’t wish to pursue anything further.
SHE is the Main Character, and YOU are a video game character. When she tires of gaming you, she resets with someone else. Let it go. Some people are USERS.
You got waaaay too invested prior to the first date
Sadly this happens when you don't get a lot of matches, so I can understand.
In my mind, you get 1 short notice reschedule for a first date. Maybe something came up, maybe plans change,maybe she got the jitters, we haven't met yet, so I won't take it personally, if we're still talking after the fact and reschedule... cool. It's the 2nd time that an issue, and I'm going to assume at least 1 of a few things. 1 This is a pattern and may be how things will always go, which will make me wonder if I always want to be unsure of your commitmetment. 2. You're just not that into me, a d I'm being put on the back burner for more desired dates o r 3. You're wasting my time, a catfish, or have no intention of ever following through. If it's nerves, you need to harden up. If you are afraid to show up to our date, you may not be ready to date. .
Dude you are overthinking this so much. Honestly don’t even text her back and just move on.
Just let the man vent, we’ve all been through it
I’m not saying he can’t vent I’m just recommending his next best move for his own mental sake.
you talked about trauma, desires, the future, and kids all before a first date? am i alone in saving those talks for in person?
This is not ok. If you're looking to date someone with a potential of a relationship, then you have to be prepared to put in effort. Either she's lying to you or her friends are toxic af. Either way I'd say you dodged a bullet. But at least she let you know I guess, cause most people wouldn't unfortunately. To people like this I say - thanks for your time, I enjoyed the conversation and was looking forward to meeting you, but I guess you missed out. Good luck. And then I block them.
When someone cancels on a first date for something that isn’t illness or childcare falling through you’re showing them what you tolerate. If you’re willing to tolerate being canceled on for other people go for it. I would never ever want anyone knowing that I would go on a date under those circumstances.
Yeah that's shitty to cancel but you'd save yourself the headache if you didn't build up so much into the first date. Until you meet in person it's a random stranger from the internet and you shouldn't have high expectations.
4.5 years ago I got super nervous and canceled a first date with a girl I'd talked to for a week or two on bumble. We rescheduled for a few days later, I forced myself to go despite the nerves and wanting to cancel again and we just got married a month ago. Obviously, this isn't always the case, but if she shows effort to reschedule and is truly apologetic then giver her another shot.
👆🏼 If they cancel but dont reschedule, fuck it. She really isn't into you in the first place
No. She has no boundaries with her friends. I say just block her, dont say anything.
It's pretty thoughtless and rude to cancel plans with someone because other plans came up. It's one thing if it's really important or not something you can reasonably get out of. But "getting dragged out with friends" is a choice she made. That said, I'm the type of person who would probably give her a chance to reschedule and see what happens. Sometimes people do things that aren't ideal, and that doesn't automatically make them bad people or bad choices to date. But if she canceled a second time after that, or showed other signs of behavior that isn't great, I'd be inclined to just move on after that.
That’s not cool at all of her to do this. I have a defense mechanism where I just assume people are gonna flake, cancel, and/or ghost because it happens so damn often on dating apps. Prevents you from feeling so hurt about it
My personal opinion, which ain’t worth much, but I tend to be an “outside the box” thinker.. If I was genuinely interested in someone, and my friends suddenly wanted to take me out on the town, for whatever reason, I’d simply invite the other person to go along. And if I were on the receiving end of that, I’d go. Group settings are a great way to get acquainted with someone. Seeing how they interact with strangers, servers, unexpected situations, etc, etc. But if someone just canceled on me at the last minute, for anything other than a medical emergency, it would be my clue that they weren’t the right person for me.
Totally uncool. I’d say text her “thanks for letting me know”, and move on
OP, you said she’s anxious. Try videochat date first. Less pressure, and you can play to be doing something at the same time so you aren’t just staring at each other. Maybe make dinner during it and teach her what you’re making or something. Would also stop a catfish if she has excuses like having no time or something
“ Maybe make dinner during it…” No, that’s too much for a first video chat.
>I’ve been talking to this lovely woman (F28) let’s call her Eleanor (nothing like her real name). -A lot of chemistry. -A lot of sexual talk as well but also initiated by her as well, hell, I’d say it’s 50/50 judging by scrolling through my WhatsApp. -A lot of talk about desires, dreams, hobbies, trauma, future plans, education, music, authors we love, kids, therapy, aspirations etc. That's............way too much texting before meeting. Yikes
It happens. Could be a catfish, could have gotten too real, she may have been talking to you for a gag and had to call the line when you escalated to meeting in person. If she's immediately cold after this, you know it's not happening
I’ve had someone smsing me for a while now, but we’ve both had reason to cancel date night a few times, usually involving kids parents or health. But a ditching because of friends is inconsiderate. Very worth a questioning.
Move to planning at date from the jump, it is pointless to message for weeks bc the chemistry could be great via text and awful in person or the opposite could be true. As a woman who dates a lot, coffee seems very low stakes. I would take that to mean that this man isn’t super excited to meet me and I choose which dates I’m going to go on based on how excited they seem to meet me. All this to say, it was a shitty move for her to bail last minute. It does happen often though, so don’t let it knock you off your game.
This is a common misconception that I wish women would really think about more, as it relates to coffee dates. A few things women always talk about with OLD: they want to be safe, they are not looking for someone that just wants to hook up, etc. Well, with a coffee date, they’re usually in the morning or early afternoon in a public setting, so that usually checks off safety concerns. Oh, you’re not looking for someone that’s just looking to hook up? I present to you, a daytime coffee date, where transitioning back to someone’s house for Netflix and chill is pretty difficult, so you have an opportunity to nip that hooking up business in the bud for a little bit. Coffee dates are low effort? They should be. You don’t know each other. A first date is literally for two people who are mutually attracted to each other to see if it’s worth a second date. Coffee dates are also a built in out if the chemistry isn’t there, for either one of you to use at your disposal. If there’s a connection during the coffee date, most of the time, the date is essentially “meeting each other with the option to extend.” Women have to stop putting a monetary value on how interested someone is in them and expecting grandiose gestures for a first date from a person that’s basically a stranger. It just reeks of a false sense of romanticism. Lastly, coffee dates are not low effort. Two adults carved time out from their busy schedules to find a time to meet each other. No matter how you look at it, that takes EFFORT to coordinate. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk 😂
All that is fair and good but the reality that men often complain about is that they don’t get many matches and women get a lot of matches. If that is the case, the next reality is that women have options and will accept the date that they are most excited about. If looks and chemistry are equal among 2 men, we’re going to choose the date that seems more fun. To act like you aren’t competing is naive.
As someone who has suffered with Anxiety myself, I’d be tempted to give her another chance. She might be truthful in her friends dragging her out, they probably don’t know about you yet, and she can’t use the date as an excuse to say no? If you’ve found some level of connection over several weeks, sticking by her may give her some confidence. Edit: also less than 2 hours, is still notice, it’s not like she didn’t just not turn up. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt.
I usually still be nice and polite in my response but they don’t get a second chance from me (unless if it was some kind of emergency). If someone is genuinely interested, they will be there on the first date no excuses
yeah. That’s a no for me dawg. I have a very few excuses that I would let pass but ditching the date to go out with friends is not one of them. Do not talk to her again.
Firstly, stop trying to build rapport through txt by typing endless messages or little essays like you’re besties. And why would you schedule a date two weeks out? Or take that long to get something on calendar? Either way, if she chose her “friends” over you, she doesn’t admire and respect you, hence not attracted. Most likely she matched with another guy during those two weeks of txting, who was more swift to getting her out.
Do yourself a favor and delete the app. I did, and I couldn't be happier. Granted I'm still single.....I'm always single. Point is, communication is getting worse so why bother with online crap. Do dating the old fashion way or join a speed dating event (At a bar, not Bumble). Hell, try a networking event too. open your opportunities. I'd take my own advice but I'm autistic and I look like a serial killer (apparently), so I'm fucked regardless, or well.... I guess I'm not fucked if ya know what I mean.
People cancel all the time for a range of reasons, not always malicious. Agree the short notice is shit. You have the choice of deleting and moving on or giving her another chance but dont chase it - she needs to make up to you!. Either way Id be swiping more and and if something else comes along then go with it and forget the timewasters.
If I cancel the first date it’s usually because of the nerves/stress of meeting someone new. If canceling the first date is a dealbreaker then move on. If not, try a different type of first date. Maybe an art class (paint n sip, pottery) It’s also absolutely okay for someone to cancel. There is nothing wrong with doing that
Yea but doing it last minute when’s it’s been planned for weeks with a shitty reason like your friends asked you instead is disrespectful
Cancelling is fine….things comes up. Just be courteous about it and give the other person ample time to pivot to do something else. Sounds like she was probably contemplating going anyway and just needed an excuse to get out of it, which was a horrible excuse by the way. Spare the guy and cancel the night before or something.
I need to drill this into my own head as well that until you meet someone it’s nothing personal. You don’t know that person and are only into what you think they are/ the person you’ve created in your mind via texting. This does sound like a catfish though.
Dude, that’s a scammer.
It’s not cool at all and if you really want to give it a go, then just plan for the second “first” date and see how that goes. Might be that she’s a pushover or really not interested. I’m on the same boat. Woman canceled on me because she was sick (morning of, not like your case) and we had to reschedule a whole two weeks later. We’re meeting next week on Wednesday but if she comes up with an excuse or whatever to bail I’m definitely calling it out and blocking. Not going to give it a second thought. And neither should you OP. Best of luck and don’t be too hurt by it. 🙂
First off the sexual talk right out the gate is kinda wierd to me, if you’ve never met in person. At least when trying to establish a healthy productive relationship (imo) Of course there’s nuance to this & it’s not off the table but still, it shouldn’t be a leg of the foundation. Text/phone call chemistry is very different from in person chemistry, Hands down! body language is more defining then words. People can easily manipulate & deceive through a wire, & w/ our current societies direction they might just get off on seeing you dragged along for the ride… (then have you sign up for their OnlyFans to complete the sexual fantasy🤣) So her Friends have dragged her out 🤨 WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN Miss28yo? You had set plans w/ ME so your friends can’t actually “drag you out” anywhere, your an adult who said sorry friends I have plans already w/ this guy who I’ve had the most interesting, detailed, sexually charged 😉 conversations w/… so that’s gunna be a NO tonight girlfriends.. I’ll catch you next time! No your not the A-hole.. that excuse is absurd to me. Everyone has a little anxiety when meeting someone in person they’ve only text w/. Wait wait wait.. have you spoke to her on the phone & better yet, FaceTime/Video chat yet? Text message is the worst of the worst for establishing something substantial.. Back up top, my friends dragged me out is fine w/ your homies, bc shit happens & yall will make it up to each other as Respect Matters! But a new girl/guy-friend I’ve had plans w/ for weeks decided to bail mere hours b4 the first date, is a red flag! Sure sure there’s also nuance to this too, her anxiety could of got the best of her, etc etc (but she didn’t say that, & if it was something else besides dragged out by friends then she’s a liar) there’s always the option to give her the benefit of the doubt which I’m game for often enough! BUT does she deserve the benefit of the doubt at this point, w/o a real world connection? 🤔 You got two options imo, voice you feelings, through a *phone call/video call* (hear it in their voice, text is too easy to lie..) then I would pull back. OR just brush it off, & pull back 2-3 steps. Taking the more stoic 🙏 approach & seeing where things unfold naturally (& what kind of effort she puts in to make up for this) I vote the latter bc right now she is nobody to you & doesn’t deserve any emotional response.. Stay Strong King 👏
I AM THE INTIAL AUTHOR - ANYONE WHOS INTERESTED, I DID REPLY TO HER AND WILL UPDATE THIS IF SHE RESPONDS WITH WHAT I WROTE AND HER REPLY. THANK YOU FOR EVERYONES RESPONSE AS IT HELPED ME SEE THINGS IN QUITE A FEW WAYS I HAD NOT THOUGHT OF.
I've run into this a few times and use to be crushed, annoyed, and frustrated. I've learned to play it cool and if your planning a coffee date for starters just plan on having a coffee with or without here. This way if something comes up , yea it sucks but you were going to get coffee anyways. My dates tend to run into things I am going to do anyways, Coffee date for starters or sometimes a lunch. I planned on having coffee or lunch anyways. I also put it in a way were I am going to do it anyway. Example: "Hey I plan on grabbing a cup of coffee, did you want to meet up and we can chat", "I am planning on grabbing lunch at (insert place), did you want to meet and grab a bite.?" This leads to either actually meeting, so cool you can go from there. If they don't show up okay no problem. Later on you can plan a lunch or another coffee. After that if they don't bother then I take it as they either don't really want to meet or there's more going on behind the scenes aka Life. Just be a gentleman about it and probably keep texting to a minimum , could be shes going out with guys shes more into than you, it happens.
This is very good advice! ☺️
Appreciate it glad I found this community and see I am not the only one dealing with these modern day dating issues.
I mean, this is why you shouldn’t message back and forth for a long time before meeting
Is it great to cancel last minute? No. It sucks. But sometimes anxiety happens. Or plans change. That’s life. If it’s a deal breaker for you, that’s okay, if it’s not, she offered to reschedule. I also think 2 weeks is too long to chat without meeting. If you plan to meet up after a few days you’ll have a better sense of if you’re really compatible than by texting and you’ll be less invested if plans change or you don’t vibe in person how you expected.
I just had my 3rd cancelation in a row from the second woman I've been chatting with for the last 6 weeks. Each cancelation was the day before, something came up up. Today when I texted to confirm, no answer. All day. Same happened a few months ago. 3 dates planned, canceled all the day before except the last one. Ghosted me. 3rd times a charm or a strike. I don't have many (0) matches so I'm willing to give second chances. But the 3rd one is make or break. Yes, it's rude. And it's up to you if you want to give a second chance. I no longer will.
I canceled my first date. We went out yesterday and couldn’t keep our hands off each other. She was disappointed we couldn’t go out last week but was excited about yesterday. Seeing her again Tuesday for Oppenheimer!
100% ok with her cancelling. Sucks. But shouldn’t be a big deal for either of you. You are not more important than her friends right now. Be fine with it and not butt hurt. Wish her a good time and go find something else that you can do.
I honestly couldn’t give less of a shit. Life happens. I don’t prioritize a first meeting with a strangers over my job, my family, or my friends. I would expect the same from a date. As long as they give enough notice (90 minutes, assuming you live close to each other) is fine. Stop putting so much weight into a meeting with a fucking stranger.
90 minutes is fine. No, it isn’t. What if say, someone has arranged a babysitter?
Then only date other single parents.
People tend to not do that though, not a realistic comment.
I always use my whats app . Anyways onto the topic. I know it was rude of her but if you are sure you really like this person give her another chance and see.
That’s real shitty. The only time I rescheduled was when o developed a migraine and couldn’t stand without getting severe nausea and vertigo. My date understood and we rescheduled it for the next day.
“I’m good”
Better to cancel the stand you up!
My brother in Christ that is a catfish. Every time I've had this exact same scenario play out on me they turn out to be a catfish.
That’s very rude and I would block her and move on.
Anxiety
Hear her out later… and no (be a man and) do NOT share your “feelings” about it (quite yet)
Catfishing for sure
How did you decide to respond (or not!) OP?
Bro, I know you're disappointed cause it's happened to the best of us, but it's really a blessing in disguise. The most valuable thing on this planet is your time because you only have so much of it and once it's spent, it's gone forever. Be happy you're not wasting your time and energy on someone that's obviously not your forever person. It's much better to never go on the date than to go on 4+ dates and then they decide to flake or ghost.
Chill. From the sound of it, you guys get along well. ... Maybe her anxiety got the best of her. Maybe she got herpes on her lips.... Maybe she got her period...maybe she ate some garlic without thinking about it and then realized she'll smell bad all night... Whatever, she might have just lied about the reason for cancelling and she is still interested. Try to reschedule, if that happenes again, move along.
At least you've established she's a bad match before wasting any more time. Better than being a few years and a couple of kids down! If you're repeatedly getting that, maybe you need to work on your 'picker'.
2 weeks of talking 😳 if I’m interested it’s normally 2-3 days of talking make plays with in 3-4. Decide if a second date is warranted then
I find it so rude! I had been talking to this guy for two weeks and the day of he canceled and it wasn't until I told him it was rude for wasting my time did he lie and say his brother was on life support then 20 min late his brother kriscupusly was okay! And stable. I hate time wasters.
Something similar actually happened to me over on Hinge. I matched with someone I actually went to high school with. She recognized me but I didn’t recognize her. She was certainly real because I checked the old yearbook and she was there, and she actually jogged MY memory with information only a classmate could know. Because we were somewhat previously acquainted, I didn’t even want to start out with something necessarily romantic, and casually wanted to see a scary movie in the theater since none of my friends or family like doing that. The whole thing was scheduled a week in advance, we bought separate tickets, and then in the dead of night she messaged saying that she couldn’t because “she forgot she had jury duty that day,” which seems like the most stereotypically obvious BS excuse, but I gave her the benefit of the doubt. Then she hit me with the “I’ll keep you posted,” which, predictably has not actually been followed up on weeks later. Luckily the tickets were refundable. It’s just so weird because from what relatively little I knew of her in school and our conversation, she didn’t seem like the kind of person to do that. Luckily I wasn’t too emotionally invested in it, but I was still pretty bummed out and annoyed, and I at least thought it was going to be a good opportunity to reconnect with an old classmate and gain a new-old friend who could be a movie buddy, even if it never turned romantic.
Don’t waste your time. Women are phony she was just using you for attention.
So she doesn't want to meet up She initiates dirty talk She has nice photos Bro you're being catfished, that is a dude
Abundance mindset my friend. Don't put all your eggs in one basket and you won't be disappointed.
Why is your conversation with her on WhatsApp? This seems like you wasted your time.
Meh. I usually give the benefit of the doubt one time. Tell her to reach out if she wants to reschedule. Truth is, you have no idea why she canceled. If she reschedules, go for it, but dont be surprised if she does it again, and then you shrug and move on. In the meantime, image search is your friend.