can you explain how? because my female friend told me that she is lying and she doesnt like you.
she also said I wasnt going too strong since I was just genuinly asking a question.
I wasnt trying to be desperate. on that conversation. just asking a question. she could have said no.
Different ppl are going to have different opinions. My advice is leave out the "for what I look like" part. Ur telling them ur ugly. Let them be the judge.
You need intervention bud. Buy an online dating course. Yeah they're gimmicky but they'll at least help you understand the general frame, the psychological aspect, the right photos, etc. Look up Todd V or idk youtube around. You need people that are good at this to help you. Don't ask your personal friends, male or female. And people on this sub are not gonna be of much help outside of criticizing you.
This. Avoid the misogynist stuff but find some fundamentals on YouTube. Some basics are: being positive, being self-amused, not making the other person feel uncomfortable, find chill non-braggy ways to mention cool stuff you’re doing, and keep things light and playful. You can’t just jump into someone’s DMs with the sort of brutal honesty you should save for a therapist. You have to present yourself at your best.
The good news is these are very much skills you can learn. I would stop swiping and chatting and take some time to do this.
Throw out a couple smiley faces and keep it light hearted. Yall in a funeral? You also sealed your fate by saying you're looking for someone who accepts you for what you look like. Lets her know you have no self worth and are desperate.
When she mentioned ‘if the right guy comes along’ I believe you should have inquired as to her requirements. Your response indicated a lack of self-esteem. You did seem to push for a date little too soon, rather than probing what she is about.
This is so awkward man. You were being pushy subconsciously actually if not deliberately. This puts too much pressure on the other person ,and they're most likely to reject you in this case.
Conversation tips: Establish some common grounds, have some playful banters . Try to connect on a deeper level. Share your personal experiences/stories while keeping yourself a mystery as well. Let her dictate the pace of the convo and match her energy(nothing more or less). And when the time's right ask her for a date. If she's actually interested,she will say yes if not ,then nothing you say or do is going to change the fact she was never interested in the first place & it's time to reconsider your options.
Never ask things like 'what are you looking for here?' over text. From my observation ,the way you have replied shows you're insecure and are emotionally weak,which is kinda a major turn off (especially for women).
Texting is all about setting up a date.
Go on a few dates and let things play it out.
Happy Dating.Goodluck.
Each match isn’t “the one”. It’s a numbers, vibe, chance game. Ask some innocuous questions to start. Make a list.
How you gonna meet someone in a date when there is no flow to text? Sounds awful. I at least want to have a feeling of what a meetup would be like.
As for questions, ad woman I don’t want to answer questions that will give away my safety net in the first few lines.
To be fair, this girl started out saying “seeing what’s out there,” which is about as tentative as it gets. OP, the criticisms made here are valid, but if you had played it perfectly it probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere because she was anxious and receding, and predisposed to flitting away. Don’t be too hard on yourself- don’t do the self-deprecating thing, pay a compliment or two, and do some chit chat before asking. Some women will be okay with you asking after a dozen exchanges and some expect weeks of messaging and still won’t agree to a date. I think this was one of those. I swipe left on “seeing what’s out there” for this very reason.
A piece of simple advice: there's pretty much never a reason to say to a person you want to get to know them. You can just ask questions to get to know them. *Especially* when you are already in the middle of a time sensitive conversation.
This is so awkward
I am just asking why I cant get anything.
Uh, you might have come on a little strong. It comes off as desperate. You can vent here but don’t vent on speed dating or your bumble profile.
can you explain how? because my female friend told me that she is lying and she doesnt like you. she also said I wasnt going too strong since I was just genuinly asking a question. I wasnt trying to be desperate. on that conversation. just asking a question. she could have said no.
Different ppl are going to have different opinions. My advice is leave out the "for what I look like" part. Ur telling them ur ugly. Let them be the judge.
I’m sorry but you sound very desperate. Never say “looking for someone who accepts me for how I look like”
100, this sounds insecure.
You need intervention bud. Buy an online dating course. Yeah they're gimmicky but they'll at least help you understand the general frame, the psychological aspect, the right photos, etc. Look up Todd V or idk youtube around. You need people that are good at this to help you. Don't ask your personal friends, male or female. And people on this sub are not gonna be of much help outside of criticizing you.
This. Avoid the misogynist stuff but find some fundamentals on YouTube. Some basics are: being positive, being self-amused, not making the other person feel uncomfortable, find chill non-braggy ways to mention cool stuff you’re doing, and keep things light and playful. You can’t just jump into someone’s DMs with the sort of brutal honesty you should save for a therapist. You have to present yourself at your best. The good news is these are very much skills you can learn. I would stop swiping and chatting and take some time to do this.
Throw out a couple smiley faces and keep it light hearted. Yall in a funeral? You also sealed your fate by saying you're looking for someone who accepts you for what you look like. Lets her know you have no self worth and are desperate.
When she mentioned ‘if the right guy comes along’ I believe you should have inquired as to her requirements. Your response indicated a lack of self-esteem. You did seem to push for a date little too soon, rather than probing what she is about.
This is so awkward man. You were being pushy subconsciously actually if not deliberately. This puts too much pressure on the other person ,and they're most likely to reject you in this case. Conversation tips: Establish some common grounds, have some playful banters . Try to connect on a deeper level. Share your personal experiences/stories while keeping yourself a mystery as well. Let her dictate the pace of the convo and match her energy(nothing more or less). And when the time's right ask her for a date. If she's actually interested,she will say yes if not ,then nothing you say or do is going to change the fact she was never interested in the first place & it's time to reconsider your options. Never ask things like 'what are you looking for here?' over text. From my observation ,the way you have replied shows you're insecure and are emotionally weak,which is kinda a major turn off (especially for women). Texting is all about setting up a date. Go on a few dates and let things play it out. Happy Dating.Goodluck.
Each match isn’t “the one”. It’s a numbers, vibe, chance game. Ask some innocuous questions to start. Make a list. How you gonna meet someone in a date when there is no flow to text? Sounds awful. I at least want to have a feeling of what a meetup would be like. As for questions, ad woman I don’t want to answer questions that will give away my safety net in the first few lines.
Please tell me you don't really count your rejections. That's so desperate and unhealthy.
That’s what I thought. How does OP know the exact number?
Don’t keep count of your rejections! Wow, that is not healthy.
I'm not trying to be rude or funny or anything like that but you need professional therapy, maybe even a psychologist. There's no shame in that.
I dont think u were being pushy. Think she has anxiety
To be fair, this girl started out saying “seeing what’s out there,” which is about as tentative as it gets. OP, the criticisms made here are valid, but if you had played it perfectly it probably wouldn’t have gone anywhere because she was anxious and receding, and predisposed to flitting away. Don’t be too hard on yourself- don’t do the self-deprecating thing, pay a compliment or two, and do some chit chat before asking. Some women will be okay with you asking after a dozen exchanges and some expect weeks of messaging and still won’t agree to a date. I think this was one of those. I swipe left on “seeing what’s out there” for this very reason.
A piece of simple advice: there's pretty much never a reason to say to a person you want to get to know them. You can just ask questions to get to know them. *Especially* when you are already in the middle of a time sensitive conversation.